第15章 传道人家庭中的关系
§1
第15章 传道人家庭中的关系
§2
Chapter 15—Relationships in the Pastoral Family
§3
传道人在家中显露真实的品格--讲台上的宗教，远不如家庭中的宗教那么多地显露我们的真实品格。传道人的妻子儿女，以及那些在他家中帮佣的人，乃是最有资格衡度他敬虔的人。一个善良的人必造福于他的家庭。妻子，儿女，以及帮佣的人都必因他的宗教而获益。--AH354.{PaM 85.1}[1]
§4
【Home】
§5
The real character of the minister is revealed at home—It is not so much the religion of the pulpit as the religion of the family that reveals our real character. The minister’s wife, his children, and those who are employed as helpers in his family are best qualified to judge of his piety. A good man will be a blessing to his household. Wife, children, and helpers will all be the better for his religion.—The Adventist Home, 354.?{PaM 85.1}[1]
§6
家庭的属灵福利是最重要的--传道人没有理由因外面更大范围的工作而忽略了家庭的责任。家庭的属灵福利是最重要的。在最后算账之时，上帝要问他有没有努力把他所生育的儿女带到基督面前。他虽然为别人作了许多善事，仍不能勾销他因忽略自己的儿女而欠上帝的债。--GW204.{PaM 85.2}[2]
§7
The spiritual welfare of your family comes first—Nothing can excuse the minister for neglecting the inner circle for the larger circle outside. The spiritual welfare of his family comes first. In the day of final reckoning, God will inquire what he did to win to Christ those whom he took the responsibility of bringing into the world. Great good done for others cannot cancel the debt that he owes to God to care for his own children.—Gospel Workers, 204.?{PaM 85.2}[2]
§8
传道人作为一家之长必须在家中表现出仁慈的体谅，然后才能成功地从事救灵工作--你必须先在家中表现出那种仁慈的体谅、那种亲切、仁爱、柔和、高尚的忍耐和真实的礼貌、那种对一家之长来说合宜的素质，才能成功地争取人归向基督。--3T556.{PaM 85.3}[3]
§9
A minister needs to show kindly consideration as head of the family before succeeding in winning souls—You must show in your family that kindly consideration, that tenderness, love, gentleness, noble forbearance, and true courtesy, that is becoming to the head of a family, before you can make a success of winning souls to Christ.—Testimonies for the Church 3:556.?{PaM 85.3}[3]
§10
有些传道人因家庭关系而被引离工作--有些传道人很容易被引离工作。他们灰心丧气，或为家庭的关系而分心，任凭正在增长的兴趣因缺乏关照而消逝。这种情况给圣工所带来的损失是难以估计的。--GW371.{PaM 85.4}[4]
§11
Some ministers are drawn away from their work by home ties—Some ministers are easily diverted from their work. They become discouraged, or are drawn away by their home ties, and leave a growing interest to die for want of attention. The loss sustained by the cause in this way can scarcely be estimated.—Gospel Workers, 371.?{PaM 85.4}[4]
§12
要温柔地对待你的妻子——要温柔地对待你的妻子。她需要你在你们婚礼誓约上所许诺要给她的所有关心，安慰和鼓励。不要给她丝毫机会质疑你的忠诚或者履行你义务的真诚愿望。--6MR47.{PaM 85.5}[5]
§13
【Spouse】
§14
Treat your wife tenderly—Treat your wife tenderly. She needs all the care and comfort and encouragement that you promised in your marriage?vow to give her. Do not give her the slightest occasion to question your loyalty or your sincere desire to fulfil your obligations.—Manuscript Releases 6:47.?{PaM 85.5}[5]
§15
传道人的成败在很大的程度上取决于配偶--传福音之人的妻子，可以成为她丈夫最得力的助手和最大的福惠，但也可以成为他工作中的障碍。传道人作用的范围或日益扩展，或衰退到平凡的水准，大都取决于妻子的影响。--AH355.{PaM 86.1}[6]
§16
A minister’s success or failure depends very much on the spouse—The wife of a minister of the gospel can be either a most successful helper and a great blessing to her husband or a hindrance to him in his work. It depends very much on the wife whether a minister will rise from day to day in his sphere of usefulness, or whether he will sink to the ordinary level.—The Adventist Home, 355.?{PaM 86.1}[6]
§17
传道人配偶的不满导致他灰心--我蒙指示看到基督的生活。若将祂的舍己和牺牲与我们有些传道人的妻子所受的考验和苦难相比，她们所谓的牺牲就不值一提了。传道人的妻子若说不满和灰心的话，对丈夫的影响就是令人沮丧的，会削弱他的工作，尤其在他的成功依赖于周围环境影响的时候。上帝的传道人在这种情形下一定要被削弱拉离他的工作园地，去满足他妻子由于不愿服从本分而产生的情绪吗？妻子应该使自己的心愿和乐趣顺从本分，为基督和真理的缘故放弃自己自私的情绪。撒但有许多事可做，藉着自私、爱安逸之配偶的影响控制传道人的工作。--1T451.{PaM 86.2}[7]
§18
Discontented ministers’ spouses cause disheartened ministers—I was shown the life of Christ. When His self-denial and sacrifice is compared with the trials and sufferings of the wives of some of our ministers, it causes anything which they may call sacrifice to sink into insignificance. If the minister’s wife speaks words of discontent and discouragement, the influence upon the husband is disheartening, and tends to cripple him in his labor, especially if his success depends upon surrounding influences. Must the minister of God in such cases be crippled or torn from his field of labor to gratify the feelings of his wife, which arise from an unwillingness to yield inclination to duty? The wife should conform her wishes and pleasures to duty, and give up her selfish feelings for the sake of Christ and the truth. Satan has had much to do with controlling the labors of the ministers, through the influence of selfish, ease-loving companions.—Testimonies for the Church 1:451.?{PaM 86.2}[7]
§19
撒但藉着自私、爱安逸的配偶控制传道人--撒但一直在做工，使上帝所拣选传扬真理的传道人灰心丧气，走上歧途。他最有效的工作方法就是藉着家人的影响，藉着未献身的伴侣。他若能控制她们的思想，就能藉着她们更容易地接近其为救灵而劳苦传道教导人的丈夫。……撒但有许多事可做，藉着自私、爱安逸之配偶的影响控制传道人的工作。--AH355.{PaM 86.3}[8]
§20
Satan controls ministers through selfish, ease-loving companions—Satan is ever at work to dishearten and lead astray ministers whom God has chosen to preach the truth. The most effectual way in which he can work is through home influences, through unconsecrated companions. If he can control their minds, he can through them the more readily gain access to the husband, who is laboring in word and doctrine to save souls.... Satan has had much to do with controlling the labors of the ministers through the influence of selfish, ease-loving companions.—The Adventist Home, 355.?{PaM 86.3}[8]
§21
为别人服务的传道人妻子不会感到寂寞——上帝赐给我有关传道人妻子的亮光，她们若是照着凡与上帝同工之人的本分，在生活上保持对上帝的忠诚奉献，就会发现许多需要服务的人，以致没有机会寂寞或培养任何方面的自私。耶稣说，“我心里柔和谦卑，你们当负我的轭，学我的样式；这样，你们心里就必得享安息。因为我的轭是容易的，我的担子是轻省的”（太11:29,30）。关注这个邀请的人就不会想到埋怨，也不会觉得孤寂了。他们的工作就是要遵行基督的旨意。他们这样行，就会得着甜蜜的平安和心灵的安息。--14MR307.{PaM 86.4}[9]
§22
Ministers’ spouses who minister to others have no opportunity to be lonesome—The light which the Lord has given me in regard to minister’s wives is, If their life is kept in close consecration to God, as is the duty of all who are laborers together with Him, they will find so many souls to minister unto that they will have no opportunity to be lonesome or to cultivate selfishness in any line. Jesus says, “Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” Those who heed this invitation will have no thought of repining, no thought of loneliness. Their work is to do the will of Christ. As they do this, they will have sweet peace, and rest of soul.—Manuscript Releases 14:307.?{PaM 86.4}[9]
§23
过分受伴侣影响对传道人有害——我们一个传道人的妻子使她的丈夫，一个极其敏感的男人，因这些与你所说的相似的建议而备受折磨。她对别人的言语和行动持不真实的怀疑，并以强烈的措辞提出她的见解，以致他的丈夫认为她对人的性格具有卓越的洞察力。主为这位弟兄和姐妹赐给我一个信息，但是他们两个都不接受。他认为相信他的妻子具有优越的识别力是对的，还相信她的建议是完全正确的。我们所做的任何努力，要启发他或者消除他所接受的错误印象，都被当作是企图要欺骗他。他妻子不羁的舌头也不断地在作工。任何试图救他免于崩溃的努力都被她解释为想要别人取代他的位置。弟兄们用尽一切力量来挽救他，但是他们的计划被解读为深思熟虑要损害他的影响力。上帝的工作就这样被家庭的影响力抵消了。--12MR341.{PaM 87.1}[10]
§24
Being overly swayed by one’s companion can prove harmful to the minister—The wife of one of our ministers kept her husband, who was a very sensitive-minded man, tortured by suggestions similar to those you have uttered. Upon the words and actions of others she cast untruthful suspicions, and presented her views in such a strong light that her husband thought that she possessed superior insight into character. The Lord gave me a message for this brother and sister, but neither of them received it. He thought that he was right in his belief that his wife possessed superior discernment, and he believed that her suggestions were perfectly true. Any effort made to enlighten him, or to remove the wrong impressions he had received, were looked upon as a design to deceive him. And the unruly tongue of his wife was constantly at work. Any endeavor to save him from a breakdown was interpreted by her as a desire to put someone else in his place. His brethren worked with all their power to save him, but their plans were construed as deep-laid schemes set on foot to hurt his influence. Thus the work of God was counteracted by home influence.—Manuscript Releases 12:341.?{PaM 87.1}[10]
§25
婚姻出了问题的传道人可能说自己受了亏待，其实最受亏待的是他们的配偶--我不能显得是要为你在婚姻生活中的行为辩护。你抛妻弃子是一件得罪上帝的事，我必须在你的区会会长威廉姆斯长老面前陈明此事的真相。我曾希望当你看到自己所受的欺骗时，你能悔改自己的行为，觉得自己需要生出那没有后悔的懊悔来。但我在阿马代尔的经历和在那里加给我的重担使我极其痛苦；你过去的生活已完全展现在我眼前。……你曾认为自己会得到福音传道人的证书，但果真如此，上帝的圣工就要受辱。你装出一副受了错待的样子，但最受错待的是你妻子。她原本绝不应当受到你给她的待遇。你对待自己孩子的态度和行为使你妻子别无它法，只得与你疏远。她因你对自己孩子施以专横管制的刑罚而内心伤痛几至疯狂。--TSB213.{PaM 87.2}[11]
§26
Workers with marriage problems may present themselves as having been wronged, when it is their companions who have been most wronged—I cannot appear to justify your course of action in your married life. Leaving your wife and family is an offense to God, and I must present this matter as it is, before the president of your conference, Elder Williams. I had hoped that when you saw your delusion you would feel that repentance for your course of action that needeth not to be repented of. But my experience at Armadale, and the burden brought upon me there, made me a great sufferer; and matters in regard to your past life have been more fully opened before me....You have thought that you would receive the credentials of a minister of the gospel, but had these been given you, reproach would have been brought upon the cause of God. You have represented yourself as being a wronged man, but it is your wife who has been most wronged. She should never have been treated as you have treated her. You pursued such a course toward your little ones that your wife could not but be estranged from you. Her heart was wounded, bruised, and she was almost distracted by your overbearing, masterly government in discipline of your children.—Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce, 213.?{PaM 87.2}[11]
§27
传道人的第一本分是对自己的儿女--传道人对周围远近的人都有责任，但他的第一本分却是对自己的儿女。他不应该单顾外面的本分，而忽略了孩子们所需要的教训。他也许把自己的家庭本分看为次要，但实际上这些本分却是个人与社会福利的基础。个人的幸福和教会的成功，在很大的程度上有赖于家庭中的感化力。正确履行日常生活的本分，关系到永恒的利益。世上所最需要的，不是大思想家，而是造福家庭的义人。--GW204.{PaM 87.3}[12]
§28
【Children】
§29
The first duty of ministers is to their children—The minister’s duties lie around him, nigh and afar off; but his first duty is to his children. He should not become so engrossed with his outside duties as to neglect the instruction which his children need. He may look upon his home duties as of lesser importance; but in reality they lie at the very foundation of the well-being of individuals and of society. To a large degree the happiness of men and women and the success of the church depend upon home influence.?Eternal interests are involved in the proper discharge of the every-day duties of life. The world is not so much in need of great minds, as of good men, who are a blessing in their homes.—Gospel Workers, 204.?{PaM 87.3}[12]
§30
无论你多么有能力，在忽略你自己的孩子的时候，你就没有最好地服侍上帝——凡在关系到子孙后代幸福和效能的事上意识到自己缺乏的人，应当将管理家庭作为他们最殷勤研究的题目。许多人指着传道人、教师和其他以学问和虔诚著称之人的子女，声称这班有优越条件的人尚且在管理家庭方面失败，他们这些远为逊色的人就自然没有成功的希望了。需要解决的问题是，这些人有没有给予儿女良好的榜样，忠实的教导与适当的约束呢？父母因忽略了这些基本要求而为社会提供了智力失衡，放荡不羁，丝毫不懂人生实际义务的儿女。这样，他们给世界所造成的损害，超过了他们的服务所贡献的一切好处。这些儿女也必将自己刚愎的性情遗传给后代，同时他们邪恶的榜样和影响也败坏社会、为害教会。人的才能与效用不论有多大，若专注于事业而忽略了自己的儿女，我们都认为他们没有向上帝或世人作出最佳的服务。--ST1882.2.9{PaM 88.1}[13]
§31
No matter how great your ability, you are not best serving God while neglecting your own children—Those who realize their deficiency in a matter which concerns the happiness and usefulness of future generations, should make the subject of family government their most diligent study. As an objection to this, many point to the children of ministers, teachers, and other men of high repute for learning and piety, and urge that if these men, with their superior advantages, fail in family government, those who are less favorably situated need not hope to succeed. The question to be settled is, Have these men given to their children that which is their right—a good example, faithful instruction, and proper restraint? It is by a neglect of these essentials that such parents give to society children who are unbalanced in mind, impatient of restraint, and ignorant of the duties of practical life. In this they are doing the world an injury which outweighs all the good that their labors accomplish. Those children transmit their own perversity of character as an inheritance to their offspring, and at the same time their evil example and influence corrupt society and make havoc in the church. We cannot think that any man, however great his ability and usefulness, is best serving God or the world while his time is given to other pursuits, to the neglect of his own children.—The Signs of the Times, February 9, 1882.?{PaM 88.1}[13]
§32
传道人家庭的负面影响伤害了他所成就的善工--B弟兄，你身上赋有双重的责任，作为上帝的传道人，你应当好好管理自己的家，使你的儿女顺服。但你却一直喜欢他们的聪明才能，且为他们的错误开脱。罪在他们身上显得不那么可憎。你已因疏忽职责而使上帝不悦，而且几乎毁了你的儿女，在主责备你劝勉你之后，你仍疏忽怠职。你们作为一个家庭在你们曾住过的不同地方对上帝圣工造成的伤害已大于你们所成就的善工。关于你的家庭，你一直被撒但所欺骗和蒙蔽。你和你妻子已使儿女与你们平等。他们随心所欲，任意而行。这已成了你作基督传道人工作的一个可悲的障碍，你疏忽自己的职责，没有使儿女顺服，已导致了更大的不幸，威胁到要破坏你的效用。--2T620.{PaM 88.2}[14]
§33
The negative influence of ministers’ families can do more harm than their ministry does good—A double obligation rested upon you, Brother B, as a minister of God, to rule well your own house and bring your children into subjection. But you have been pleased with their aptness and have excused their faults. Sin in them did not appear very sinful. You have displeased God and nearly ruined your children by your neglect of duty, and you have continued this neglect after the Lord had reproved and counseled you. The injury done to the cause of God by your influence as a family in the different places where you have lived has been greater than the good that you have accomplished. You have been blinded and deceived by Satan in regard to your family. You and your wife have made your children your equals. They have done about as they pleased. This has been a sad drawback to you in your work as a minister of Christ, and the neglect of your duty to bring your children into subjection has led to a still greater evil, which threatens to destroy your usefulness.—Testimonies for the Church 2:620.?{PaM 88.2}[14]
§34
在家中失败的牧人在教会里也会失败——从事传福音工作的人必须在家庭生活中忠诚。他作为父亲应当增进上帝所赐的才能，好使他的家庭成为天上家庭的象征。他在从事传道服务时应当利用上帝所赐的能力救人进入教会。他身为家中的祭司，在教会中作基督的使者，应当在他的生活上体现基督的品格。他必须忠心地为灵魂儆醒，好像将来交账的人。在为主服务时，他决不可粗心和疏忽。那些没有清楚感悟到接受教会牧者职分之神圣责任的人，上帝必不因他们的罪恶服劳（赛43:24）。在家中没有作忠心有见识之牧者的人，必不能在教会中作上帝群羊忠心的牧人。--6MR49.{PaM 88.3}[15]
§35
Shepherds who fail at home will fail at church—He who is engaged in the work of the gospel ministry must be faithful in his family life. It is as essential that as a father he should improve the talents God has given him for the purpose of making the home a symbol of the heavenly family, as that?in the work of the ministry, he should make use of his God-given powers to win souls for the church. As the priest in the home, and as the ambassador of Christ in the church, he should exemplify in his life the character of Christ. He must be faithful in watching for souls as one that must give an account. In his service there must be seen no carelessness and inattentive work. God will not serve with the sins of men who have not a clear sense of the sacred responsibility involved in accepting a position as pastor of a church. He who fails to be a faithful, discerning shepherd in the home, will surely fail of being a faithful shepherd of the flock of God in the church.—Manuscript Releases 6:49.?{PaM 88.3}[15]