第23章 教会和家庭中的自私
§1
第23章 教会和家庭中的自私
§2
Chap. 23 - Selfishness in the Church and in the Family
§3
亲爱的M弟兄：我在异象中蒙指示看到你的品格中有一些缺点必须改正。你对自己妻子的看法和情绪都不对劲。你不赏识她。她没有得到你应当给她的同情仁爱的话语。因她的操劳和她在家中背的重担而赞美她，不会有损你男子汉的尊严。{4T 255.1}[1]
§4
Dear Brother M: I have been shown in vision that you have defects in your character which must be remedied. You are not right in your views and feelings in regard to your wife. You do not appreciate her. She has not received the words of sympathy and love from you that you should have given her. It would not lessen the dignity of your manhood to praise her for the care she takes and the burdens she bears in the family. {4T 255.1}[1]
§5
你自私而且苛求。你注意鸡毛蒜皮的事，谈论你妻儿的小毛病。简而言之，你谋求用自己的良心衡量他们的良心；试图作他们的良心。你妻子有她自己的个性，是决不可泯灭在她丈夫的个性里的。她有自己应当保持的个人特性，因为她要为自己在上帝面前交账。M弟兄，你无法为你妻子形成的品格在上帝面前交账。只有她自己才能负这个责任。上帝乐于感动你敬畏上帝的妻子的良心，正如祂乐于为她感动你的良心一样。{4T 255.2}[2]
§6
You are selfish and exacting. You mark little things and talk of small errors in your wife and children. In short, you seek to gauge their consciences by your own; you try to be conscience for them. Your wife has an identity of her own, which can never be merged in that of her husband. She has an individuality which she should preserve, for she is accountable before God for herself. You cannot, Brother M, be responsible before God for the character your wife forms. She alone will bear this responsibility. God is just as willing to impress the conscience of your God-fearing wife as He is to impress your conscience for her. {4T 255.2}[2]
§7
你对于妻子儿女期望得太多了。你的责难也太多了。你若能自己培养一种愉快，喜乐的性情，对他们说话亲切而温和，你就会将阳光带入家中，而不是阴云，忧愁，和苦闷了。你太重视自己的意见；你也常常采取极端的立场，不愿使你妻子的意见在家中占应有的分量。你自己既不培养对你妻子的敬意，也不教育儿女尊重她的见解。你没有使她与你平等，却双手揽持治理与控制的大权不放。你没有亲爱同情的心意。你若要作一个得胜的人，你若希望上帝赐福与你和你的家庭，就需要培养这些品格特性。{4T 255.3}[3]
§8
You expect too much of your wife and children. You censure too much. If you would encourage a cheerful, happy temper yourself, and speak kindly and tenderly to them, you would bring sunlight into your dwelling instead of clouds, sorrow, and unhappiness. You think too much of your opinion; you have taken extreme positions and have not been willing that your wifes judgment should have the weight it should in your family. You have not encouraged respect for your wife yourself nor educated your children to respect her judgment. You have not made her your equal, but have rather taken the reins of government and control into your own hands and held them with a firm grasp. You have not an affectionate, sympathetic disposition. These traits of character you need to cultivate if you want to be an overcomer and if you want the blessing of God in your family. {4T 255.3}[3]
§9
你非常固执己见，这使你的家人很难过。你需要使自己的心被上帝的恩典软化。你心中需要那种表现基督工作特色的爱。爱本出于上帝。它是一株天上栽培的植物，无法在人生来就有的心中生长茂盛。它在哪里，哪里就有真理、生命和能力。但若没有行动，它就不能存活，而只要运用，它就增长扩大。它不会观察小小的错误，也不会迅速注意小小的过失。当辩论和多少言语都属枉然，没有效用时，它会获胜。要改革品格，管制你家人的操行，最好的办法就是用爱的原则。爱确实是一种能力，会成就金钱和权力永远成就不了的事。{4T 256.1}[4]
§10
You are very set and unyielding in your opinion, which makes it very hard for your family. You need to have your heart softened by the grace of God. You need such love in your heart as characterized the works of Christ. Love proceeds from God. It is a plant of heavenly growth, and it cannot live and flourish in the natural heart. Where it exists, there is truth and life and power. But it cannot live without action, and whenever it is exercised it increases and extends. It will not observe little mistakes and be quick to mark little errors. It will prevail when argument, when any amount of words, will prove vain and useless. The very best way to reform the character and regulate the conduct of your family is through the principle of love. It is indeed a power and will accomplish that which neither money nor might ever can. {4T 256.1}[4]
§11
我的弟兄啊，你的言语刺耳，尖刻无情，如刀伤人。你很容易指责人挑剔人，但这只能产生忧愁苦恼。你说别人的那些话，要是用来说你，你就会立刻火冒三丈。你视仁慈、温柔和同情是一种软弱，以为对你妻子温和、轻柔、亲爱地讲话会有损你的尊严。这是你误解了何为真正的刚毅和尊严。这种留下仁慈的行为不做的性情，正表现了你品格中的软弱和缺点。你所视为软弱的，上帝却视为真正的基督徒礼貌，是每一个基督徒都应该运用的；因为这原是基督曾表现的精神。{4T 256.2}[5]
§12
My brother, your words that are harsh and unsympathizing cut and wound. It is very easy for you to censure and find fault, but this is only productive of unhappiness. You would quickly resent the words you address to others, were they spoken to you. You have looked upon it as a weakness to be kind, tender, and sympathetic, and have thought it beneath your dignity to speak tenderly, gently, and lovingly to your wife. Here you mistake in what true manliness and dignity consist. The disposition to leave deeds of kindness undone is a manifest weakness and defect in your character. That which you would look upon as weakness, God regards as true Christian courtesy, that should be exercised by every Christian; for this was the spirit which Christ manifested. {4T 256.2}[5]
§13
你有一种非常自私的性情，而且看自己过于所当看的。你常常采取极端个别而奇怪的圣经观点，还往往热心坚持这些观点，象犹太人坚持他们的遗传一样。你既不具有可教的精神，就不断处在给教会制造麻烦的危险中，除非你决心靠那大能征服者的力量做纠正这些错误的工作。你以为自己比弟兄们更了解这些事，而且你很难接近，这使你的情形令人担忧。你是一个自以为义的人，具有法利赛人的精神，会说：“你站开吧！不要挨近我，因为我比你圣洁”（赛65:5）。{4T 256.3}[6]
§14
You have a very selfish disposition and think more highly of yourself than you ought to think. You frequently take extremely singular and fanciful views of the Scriptures, and often cling to these as zealously as did the Jews to their traditions. Not possessing a teachable spirit, you will be in constant danger of making trouble in the church unless you set yourself at the work of correcting these wrongs in the strength of the mighty Conqueror. That which makes your case alarming is that you think you know these things better than your brethren, and you are very difficult to be approached. You have a self-righteous, pharisaical spirit, which would say: Stand off, come not near me; for I am holier than thou. {4T 256.3}[6]
§15
你还没有看见己心的败坏，几乎使你的人生失败。你的意见不能也不可在上帝的教会中行使控制。你需要培养全部的基督徒美德，特别是博爱，它是“恒久忍耐又有恩慈，不嫉妒，不自夸，不张狂，不做害羞的事，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。”“所以，你们既是上帝的选民，圣洁蒙爱的人，就要存怜悯、恩慈、谦虚、温柔、忍耐的心。倘若这人与那人有嫌隙，总要彼此包容，彼此饶恕；主怎样饶恕了你们，你们也要怎样饶恕人。在这一切之外，要存着爱心，爱心就是联络全德的。又要叫基督的平安在你们心里作主；你们也为此蒙召，归为一体；且要存感谢的心”（林前13:4-7；西3:12-15）。{4T 257.1}[7]
§16
You have not seen the corruptions of your own heart and that you have made life almost a failure. Your opinions cannot and must not rule in the church of God. You need to be cultivating all the Christian graces, but especially charity, which suffereth long and is kind, envieth not, vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity [love], which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. {4T 257.1}[7]
§17
你注意稍微偏离你所认为正确的事，并且坚决地要予以纠正。你在如此专横独裁，敏于觉察弟兄的过错时，却不严密地省察自己的心，看看你的生活中有什么恶行没有。你放纵自己的食欲和情欲，显出了极大的道德软弱。吸烟的嗜好控制着你，虽然你多次立志要克服这个习惯，却没有成功。这种坏习惯败坏了你的理性。我的弟兄啊，你的舍己在哪儿呢？你得胜的道德能力在哪儿呢？基督为你在旷野的试探中胜过了食欲的力量，使你也能为自己得胜。现在，这场战斗是你的。你有机会奉那征服者的名克服你的食欲，为自己获得胜利。你要求别人太多了；你愿意做什么好胜过这种令人厌恶的、摧毁健康、污秽心灵的放纵呢？这场仗是你的，谁也不能替你打。别人可以为你祈求，但这工作必定全是你自己的。{4T 257.2}[8]
§18
You mark little deviations from what you think is right, and you sternly seek to correct them. While you are thus overbearing and dictatorial, quick to observe a brothers faults, you do not closely search your own heart to see the evils existing in your life. You show great moral weakness in the indulgence of your appetite and passions. The slavery of appetite for tobacco has such control over you that although you resolve and re-resolve to overcome the habit, you do not accomplish it. This wrong habit has perverted your senses. My brother, where is your self-denial? Where is your moral power to overcome? Christ overcame the power of appetite in the wilderness of temptation on your account, making it possible for you to overcome on your own account. Now the battle is yours. In the name of the Conqueror you have an opportunity to deny your appetite and gain a victory for yourself. You require much of others; what are you willing to do to get the victory over a disgusting, health-destroying, soul-polluting indulgence? The battle is yours. No one can fight it for you. Others can pray for you, but the work must be wholly your own. {4T 257.2}[8]
§19
上帝要你别再与那试探者周旋，而要洁净自己，脱离身体和灵魂一切的污秽，敬畏祂，得以成圣。你需要快快下工夫消除你品格的缺陷。你是在上帝的工场里。你若愿意忍受切磋琢磨的过程，消除你粗糙的棱角，将你多结不平的表面被上帝的刨刀刨平，祂的恩典就会使你适合于那天上的建筑。但是你若依靠自我，不愿为适合天上的建筑而受加工的难受过程，你在那个建筑中就不会有一席之地，它的建造是没有一点斧凿之声的。你的本性若不改变，你若不被这些末后日子使人成圣的真理所精炼和提高，就不会在纯净圣洁的天使中有一席之地。{4T 258.1}[9]
§20
God calls upon you to no longer dally with the tempter, but to cleanse yourself from all filthiness of the flesh and of the spirit, perfecting holiness in His fear. You need to work fast to remove the defects from your character. You are in Gods workshop. If you will submit to the process of hewing and squaring and planing, that the rough edges may be removed, the knots and uneven surface smoothed and fitted by the planing knife of God, you will be fitted by His grace for the heavenly building. But if you cling to self, and are not willing to endure the trying process of fitting for the heavenly building, you will have no place in that structure which will come together without the sound of ax or hammer. If your nature is not transformed, if you are not refined and elevated by the sanctifying truth for these last days, you will be found unworthy of a place among the pure and holy angels. {4T 258.1}[9]
§21
你担得起坚持你污秽的习惯而最终显出是在不信和不圣洁的人中间吗？你担得起在这事上冒任何风险吗？你继续斗胆走自我放纵的道路实在是太危险了。你向来热心于以一种非常顽固讨厌的方式向不信的人谈论真理，这对他们的心思有极坏的影响。在提倡真理时若有一人前后矛盾，撒但就特别利用他来使那些在适当影响下原会很受感动的人感到厌恶。你应该使你的态度变得柔和，你提倡真理时，要带有谦和的精神。{4T 258.2}[10]
§22
Can you afford to cling to your defiling habits and at last be found among the unbelieving and the unsanctified? Can you afford to run any risk in this matter? There is too much at stake for you to venture to pursue the course of self-indulgence that you have followed. You have been forward to talk the truth to unbelievers in a very positive, objectionable manner, which has had a very bad influence upon their minds. When there is one inconsistent advocate of the truth, Satan uses him to special advantage to disgust those who, under a proper influence, would have been favorably impressed. You should soften your manners, and when you advocate the truth, let it be with a spirit of meekness. {4T 258.2}[10]
§23
“有人问你们心中盼望的缘由，就要常作准备，以温柔、敬畏的心回答各人”（彼前3:15）。这里说到的敬畏，意思不是指不信任或优柔寡断，而是指应有的慎重，当心每一点，免得说出一句不明智的话，或让兴奋的情绪占优势，从而给人留下不良的印象，使他们保持在错误的方向中。人人都非常需要虔诚的敬畏，谦卑和温柔，以便正确地代表上帝的真理。{4T 258.3}[11]
§24
Be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear. The fear here spoken of does not mean distrust or indecision, but with due caution, guarding every point, lest an unwise word be spoken, or excitement of feeling get the advantage, and thus leave unfavorable impressions upon minds, and balance them in the wrong direction. Godly fear, humility, and meekness are greatly needed by all in order to correctly represent the truth of God. {4T 258.3}[11]
§25
你最大的一个危险就是自信和骄傲的精神。你和你的家人很不快乐，乃是骄傲作用的直接结果。有这种骄傲的人，其效用必定大大受限，因为他的骄傲和自恋总是使他在一个狭窄的圈子里。他的精神不宽宏，他的努力不扩展，反而收缩。他的言行举止会流露出这种骄傲。{4T 259.1}[12]
§26
One of your greatest dangers is a spirit of self-confidence and pride. The great unhappiness which exists with you and in your family results immediately from the operation of pride. The usefulness of a man who has this pride must be greatly limited, for his pride and self-love keep him in a narrow sphere. His spirit is not generous. His efforts are not extended, but contracted. By his conversation and deportment this pride will be discovered if it exists. {4T 259.1}[12]
§27
亲爱的弟兄，你形成品格的影响使你有一种傲慢专横的精神。你在自己家中和邻舍中间及凡与你交往的人行出了这种精神。为要克服这些坏习惯，你必须警醒祷告。你现在应该十分认真，因为你没有多少时间下工夫了。不要觉得你靠自己的力量足以承担。只有靠那大能征服者的名，你才能取得胜利。你在与他人交谈时，要细述上帝的仁慈、良善和仁爱，而不是祂严格的审判和公义。要紧紧依靠祂的应许。你靠自己的力量不能做什么，但靠耶稣的力量你凡事都能做。你若在基督里，基督也在你里面，你就得以改变，更新，成圣。“你们若常在我里面，我的话也常在你们里面，凡你们所愿意的，祈求，就给你们成就”（约15:7）。务要让基督在你里面，务要让你的心破碎、降服、谦卑。上帝只悦纳谦卑痛悔的心。天国值得毕生恒切的努力；是的，它值得付上一切。你若努力只在上帝里面，祂就必帮助你的努力。在你家中有一项工作要做成，只要你正确地把握这工作，上帝就必帮助你去做。我恳劝你整顿自己的心，然后耐心地做你家人得救的工夫，使上帝的天使可以来到你家中，和你同住。{4T 259.2}[13]
§28
Dear brother, the influence under which your character has been formed has given you a haughty, overbearing spirit. This spirit you act out in your family and among your neighbors and all with whom you associate. In order to overcome these wrong habits, you must watch unto prayer. You should now be thoroughly in earnest, for you have little time in which to work. Do not feel that you are sufficient in your own strength. Only in the name of the mighty Conqueror can you gain the victory. In conversation with others dwell upon the mercy, goodness, and love of God instead of upon His strict judgment and justice. Cling fast to His promises. You can do nothing in your own strength, but in the strength of Jesus you can do all things. If you are in Christ, and Christ is in you, you will be transformed, renewed, and sanctified. If ye abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. Be sure that Christ is in you, that your heart is broken and submissive and humble. God will accept only the humble and contrite. Heaven is worth a lifelong, persevering effort; yes, it is worth everything. God will help you in your efforts if you strive only in Him. There is a work to be done in your family which God will help you to perform if you take hold of it aright. I entreat of you to set your own heart in order and then seek patiently to work for the salvation of your family, that the angels of God may come into your house and abide with you. {4T 259.2}[13]