第50章 个人的经验
§1
第50章 个人的经验
§2
Chap.50 - Personal Experience
§3
1860年9月20日，我的第四个孩子约翰·赫伯特·怀特出生了。当他三周大时，我丈夫感到有责任去旅行。在会上决定拉夫伯勒弟兄去西部，我丈夫去东部。在他们动身前几天，我丈夫的心情极其沮丧。他一度想要放弃旅行，但他不敢这么做。他觉得自己有事要做，但被黑云笼罩了。他不能休息，也睡不着。他一直心绪不宁。他向拉夫伯勒弟兄和科内尔弟兄讲述了自己的心态情，并与他们一起跪在主面前求问。于是厚云消散，明光照耀了。我丈夫感到主的灵指示他去西部，而拉夫伯勒去东部。此后他们就明确了自己的责任并依此而行。{1T 244.1}[1]
§4
September 20, 1860, my fourth child, John Herbert White, was born. When he was three weeks old, my husband felt it to be his duty to travel. It was decided at the Conference that Brother Loughborough should go west and he go east. A few days before they were to leave, my husband was greatly depressed in mind. At one time he thought he would give up the journey, yet he feared to do so. He felt that he had something to do, but was shut in by clouds of darkness. He could not rest or sleep. His mind was in continual agitation. He related the state of his mind to Brethren Loughborough and Cornell, and bowed before the Lord with them to seek counsel of Him. Then the clouds parted, and the clear light shone. My husband felt that the Spirit of the Lord was directing him west and Brother Loughborough east. After this they felt clear as to their duty and moved accordingly.{1T 244.1}[1]
§5
当我丈夫不在时，我们祈求主支持他，加给他力量，并且得到了保证，主必与他同去。约在他去访问威斯康星州莫斯顿一周之前，我们收到了G姐妹写给出版社的信，声称主赐给了她异象。当我们读这些信件时，我们感到哀伤；因为我们知道那些异象来源不正。因为我丈夫不知道他要在莫斯顿遭遇什么事，我们就担心他会没有准备好对付狂热盲信，也担心这会对他的心产生令人气馁的影响。在我们早期的经验中，我们曾经历过许多这样的场面，忍受过许多蛮横不驯的精神，以致我们害怕与他们接触。我请巴特尔克里克教会为我丈夫祷告，我们也在自己的家庭祭坛恳切地为他寻求主。我们以忧伤的灵和许多的眼泪，努力使我们战兢的信心抓住上帝的应许，并且得了证据，知道祂听我们的祷告，愿意站在我丈夫身边，赐给他忠告和智慧。{1T 244.2}[2]
§6
In my husbands absence we prayed that the Lord would sustain and strengthen him, and obtained the assurance that He would go with him. About one week before he was to visit Mauston, Wisconsin, we received letters for publication from Sister G purporting to be visions given her of the Lord. As we read these communications, we felt distressed; for we knew that they were not from the right source. And as my husband knew nothing of what he was about to meet at Mauston, we feared he would be unprepared to meet the fanaticism, and that it would have a discouraging influence upon his mind. We had passed through so many such scenes in our early experience, and had suffered so much from unruly, untamable spirits, that we dreaded to be brought in contact with them. I sent in a request for the church at Battle Creek to pray for my husband, and at our family altar we earnestly sought the Lord in his behalf. With brokenness of spirit, and many tears, we tried to fasten our trembling faith upon Gods promises, and we had the evidence that He heard us pray and that He would stand by my husband and impart to him counsel and wisdom.{1T 244.2}[2]
§7
我在寻找一节经文给威利在安息日学背诵时，这节经文吸引了我的注意力：“耶和华本为善，在患难的日子为人的保障，并且认得那些投靠祂的人”（鸿1:7）。我禁不住哭了，这些话看来是那么适当。我心中全部的重担都是关于我丈夫和威斯康星州的教会的。我丈夫在威斯康星州时确实体会到了上帝的祝福。在患难的日子，主是他的保障，并且藉祂使人自由的灵支持了他，使他作了明确的见证，反对那里疯狂的狂热盲信。{1T 245.1}[3]
§8
While looking in the Bible for a verse for Willie to commit to memory to repeat in the Sabbath school, this scripture arrested my attention: The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knoweth them that trust in Him. I could but weep over these words, they seemed so appropriate. The whole burden upon my mind was for my husband and the church in Wisconsin. My husband did realize the blessing of God while in Wisconsin. The Lord was to him a stronghold in time of trouble and sustained him by His free Spirit while he bore a decided testimony against the wild fanaticism there.{1T 245.1}[3]
§9
当我丈夫还在威斯康星州的麦克福德时，他给我写了一封信，信中说：“我担心家中不是一切都好。我对婴儿有些观感。”他在为家人祷告时，曾预感到婴儿病得很重。婴儿似乎躺在他面前，脸和头肿胀得可怕。当我收到信时，孩子很好，和往常一样；但第二天他就生了重病，脸和头患了极其严重的丹毒。当我丈夫抵达靠近伊利诺斯州朗德格罗夫的威克弟兄家时，收到电报说孩子病了。在读了电报之后，他对在场的人说对这消息并不感到惊奇，因为主已为这事预备了他的心，他们还会听说孩子的头和脸严重感染了。{1T 245.2}[4]
§10
While at Mackford, Wisconsin, my husband wrote me a letter in which he stated: I fear that all is not well at home. I have had some impressions as to the babe. While praying for the family at home, he had a presentiment that the child was very sick. The babe seemed lying before him with face and head dreadfully swollen. When I received the letter, the child was as well as usual; but the next morning he was taken very sick. It was an extreme case of erysipelas in the face and head. When my husband reached Brother Wicks, near Round Grove, Illinois, he received a telegram informing him of the sickness of the child. After reading it, he stated to those present that he was not surprised at the news, for the Lord had prepared his mind for it, and that they would hear that the childs head and face were greatly affected.{1T 245.2}[4]
§11
我亲爱的婴孩受了极大的苦。我们二十四小时昼夜焦急地看护着他，用尽一切方法使他复原，恳切地将他的事呈现在主面前。当我目睹他的痛苦时，有时不能控制我的情绪。我的时间大多用来流泪而谦卑地恳求上帝。但我们的天父认为适于取走我们所爱的孩子。{1T 245.3}[5]
§12
My dear babe was a great sufferer. Twenty-four days and nights we anxiously watched over him, using all the means that we could for his recovery and earnestly presenting his case to the Lord. At times I could not control my feelings as I witnessed his sufferings. Much of my time was spent in tears and humble supplication to God. But our heavenly Father saw fit to remove the loved one. {1T 245.3}[5]
§13
12月14日他的情况更糟糕了，我被叫了起来。当我听到他吃力的呼吸并摸了他没有脉搏的手腕时，就知道他必死不能活了。死亡冷冰的手已经在他身上了。那对我来说是一个极其痛苦的时辰。我们注视着他微弱的喘息，直到他的呼吸停止了，只能感恩他的痛苦终于结束了。当我的孩子快死时，我哭不出来。我的心痛得就象要破碎了一样，但我流不出一滴眼泪。在葬礼上我昏倒了。我们感到失望的是没有拉夫伯勒弟兄主持葬礼仪式，我丈夫在这场合向满屋子的人讲了话。随后我们跟从我们的孩子去了橡山公墓，他在那里安息，直到赐生命的主要来，打破坟墓的羁绊，召他出来承受不朽。{1T 246.1}[6]
§14
December 14 he was taken worse, and I was called up. As I listened to his labored breathing and felt his pulseless wrist, I knew that he must die. The icy hand of death was already upon him. That was an hour of anguish for me. We watched his feeble, gasping breath until it ceased, and could but feel thankful that his sufferings were ended. When my child was dying, I could not weep. My heart ached as though it would break, but I could not shed a tear. At the funeral I fainted. We were disappointed in not having Brother Loughborough to conduct the funeral services, and my husband spoke upon the occasion to a crowded house. We then followed our child to Oak Hill Cemetery, there to rest until the Life-giver shall come, to break the fetters of the tomb and call him forth immortal.{1T 246.1}[6]
§15
我们从葬礼回来后，我的家似乎孤独寂寞了。我觉得甘心接受上帝的旨意，但沮丧和忧郁停留在我身上。我不能起而超越去年夏天的种种失望。根据上帝子民的状况，我们不知道可以期望什么。撒但已控制了一些在工作上与我们密切相关之人的心，甚至控制了一些很熟悉我们的使命并见过我们工作果效之人的心，他们不仅亲眼见过上帝能力的频繁显示，而且亲身感受过上帝能力的影响。我们对将来还能有什么指望呢？当我的孩子还活着时，我以为我明白自己的责任。我把亲爱的婴孩紧紧抱在胸前，欢喜快乐地以为终于有一个冬天可以解脱重责了，因为我的责任不可能是带着婴孩在冬天旅行。但当他从我身边被取走时，我就再次陷入了极大的困惑中。{1T 246.2}[7]
§16
After we returned from the funeral, my home seemed lonely. I felt reconciled to the will of God, yet despondency and gloom settled upon me. We could not rise above the discouragements of the past summer. From the state of Gods people we knew not what to expect. Satan had gained control of the minds of some who were closely connected with us in the work, even of some who had been acquainted with our mission and seen the fruit of our labors, and who had not only witnessed the frequent manifestation of the power of God, but had felt its influence upon their own bodies. What could we hope for in the future? While my child lived, I thought I understood my duty. I pressed my dear babe to my heart and rejoiced that at least for one winter I should be released from any great responsibility, for it could not be my duty to travel in winter with my infant. But when he was taken from me, I was again thrown into great perplexity.{1T 246.2}[7]
§17
上帝的圣工和子民的状况几乎把我们压垮了。我们的幸福总是取决于上帝圣工的状况的。当祂的子民处于兴旺状态时，我们就感到自由；当他们退后不和时，什么都不能使我们快乐。我们全部的利益和生命都交织在第三位天使信息的兴起与进展中。我们与这信息紧密相连，它几时不兴旺，我们的心就经历极大的痛苦。{1T 246.3}[8]
§18
The condition of Gods cause and people nearly crushed us. Our happiness ever depends upon the state of the cause of God. When His people are in a prosperous condition, we feel free; but when they are backslidden and there is discord among them, nothing can make us joyful. Our whole interest and life have been interwoven with the rise and progress of the third angels message. We are bound up in it, and when it does not prosper, we experience great suffering of mind.{1T 246.3}[8]
§19
约在此时，我丈夫既回顾了过去，就开始几乎对每一个人丧失信心了。他曾友好对待的许多人都成了敌人，有些曾被他的影响和他自己羞涩的钱囊帮助最多的人，不断在设法伤害他，给他加担子。一个安息日早上，当他去我们礼拜的地方时，这种不公平的感觉以压倒性的力量临到了他，以致他转身去大哭了一场，而会众们还在等着他。{1T 247.1}[9]
§20
About this time, my husband, as he reviewed the past, began to lose confidence in almost everyone. Many of those whom he had tried to befriend had acted the part of enemies, and some whom he had helped the most by his influence and from his own scanty purse, were continually trying to injure him and cast burdens upon him. One Sabbath morning, as he was going to our place of worship, such an overpowering sense of injustice came over him that he turned aside and wept aloud, while the congregation waited for him.{1T 247.1}[9]
§21
从我们工作的开端，我们就蒙召要做明白中肯的见证，责备错误，不可止息。自始至终都有人反对我们的见证，设法说柔和的话，用未泡透的灰抹墙，破坏我们作工的影响。主会勒紧我们的缰绳使我们停下来去传达督责，于是就有人介入我们和上帝的子民中间，要使我们的见证无效。所赐下的许多异象大意都是我们不可避而不宣主的忠告，而要居于激励上帝子民的位置，因为他们正在自己的罪中沉睡。但很少有人同情我们，却有许多人同情犯错的人和受责备的人。这些事把我们压垮了，我们觉得在教会中没有见证可作了。我们不知道信任谁。这一切的事都强加在我们身上，我们心里的希望灭绝了。我们约在午夜停工休息，但我不能入睡。我心中感到剧痛；无从解脱，多次晕倒。{1T 247.2}[10]
§22
From the commencement of our labors we have been called to bear a plain, pointed testimony, to reprove wrongs and spare not. And all the way there have been those who have stood in opposition to our testimony, and have followed after to speak smooth things, daub with untempered mortar, and destroy the influence of our labors. The Lord would rein us up to bear reproof, and then individuals would step right in between us and the people to make our testimony of no effect. Many visions have been given to the effect that we must not shun to declare the counsel of the Lord, but must occupy a position to stir up the people of God, for they are asleep in their sins. But few have sympathized with us, while many have sympathized with the wrong and with those who have been reproved. These things crushed us, and we felt that we had no testimony to bear in the church. We knew not in whom to confide. As all these things forced themselves upon us, hope died within us. We retired to rest about midnight, but I could not sleep. A severe pain was in my heart; I could find no relief and fainted a number of times.{1T 247.2}[10]
§23
我丈夫请来了阿马登，凯洛格和C.史密斯弟兄。他们热切的祈祷蒙了应允，我得了解脱，进了异象。于是我蒙指示见到我们有一项工作要做，我们必须仍作我们的见证，率直而中肯。我看到有一些人避开了率直的见证。我看见他们的教训对上帝子民的影响。{1T 247.3}[11]
§24
My husband sent for Brethren Amadon, Kellogg, and C. Smith. Their fervent prayers were heard, relief came, and I was taken off in vision. Then I was shown that we had a work to do, that we must still bear our testimony, straight and pointed. Individuals were presented before me who had shunned the pointed testimony. I saw the influence of their teachings upon Gods people.{1T 247.3}[11]
§25
某地教会信徒的状况也呈现在我面前。他们有真理的理论，却没有因之成圣。我看见当使者们进入一个新地区时，他们若不作明白中肯的见证，就比不作工还糟糕。他们应该保持基督的教会与有名无实之自称信主者的区别。某地在这方面失败了。N长老害怕得罪人，害怕显露我们的信仰特色；就降低了标准以迎合群众。他原应向他们强调我们所拥有的真理是至关重要的，他们永恒的利益取决于他们在此所做的决定；为了藉着真理成圣，他们应该放弃自己的偶像，承认自己的罪，并且结出果子来与悔改的心相称。{1T 248.1}[12]
§26
The condition of the people in ----- was also presented before me. They have the theory of truth, but are not sanctified through it. I saw that when the messengers enter a new place, their labor is worse than lost unless they bear a plain, pointed testimony. They should keep up the distinction between the church of Christ, and formal, dead professors. There was a failure in this respect in -----. Elder N was fearful of offending, fearful lest the peculiarities of our faith should appear; the standard was lowered to meet the people. It should have been urged upon them that we possess truths of vital importance, and that their eternal interest depended upon the decision they there made; that in order to be sanctified through the truth, their idols would have to be given up, their sins be confessed, and they bring forth fruit meet for repentance.{1T 248.1}[12]
§27
那些从事传扬第三位天使信息之严肃工作的人，必须果断地开始行动，本着上帝的灵与能力无畏地传讲真理，让它刺入剖开。他们应该高举真理的标准，并且督促人们达到这标准。真理的标准常被降低以迎合人们黑暗罪恶的状况。那率直的见证要使他们做出决定。和平的见证不会成就这事。人们有权听从通俗的讲台发出的这种教导；但上帝已托付严肃可畏信息的仆人应作明白率直的见证，这信息要为基督的降临产生并装备一班人。我们的真理要远比名义上信主之人的真理严肃，就象天高过地一样。{1T 248.2}[13]
§28
Those who engage in the solemn work of bearing the third angels message must move out decidedly, and in the Spirit and power of God fearlessly preach the truth and let it cut. They should elevate the standard of truth and urge the people to come up to it. It has too frequently been lowered to meet the people in their condition of darkness and sin. It is the pointed testimony that will bring them up to decide. A peaceful testimony will not do this. The people have the privilege of listening to this kind of teaching from popular pulpits; but those servants to whom God has entrusted the solemn, fearful message which is to bring out and fit up a people for the coming of Christ should bear a plain, pointed testimony. Our truth is as much more solemn than that of nominal professors, as the heavens are higher than the earth.{1T 248.2}[13]
§29
人们在他们的罪中沉睡，需要被警告才能摆脱这种嗜睡症。他们的传道人讲了柔和的话；但上帝的仆人既传讲神圣重要的真理，就应大声喊叫，不可止息，以便真理扯掉安全的外衣，得到门路进入人心。原应传给某地之人的率直的见证被传道人回避了；真理的种子撒在了荆棘里，被荆棘挤住了。就有些人来说，罪恶的缠累更多了，而天国的美德灭绝了。{1T 249.1}[14]
§30
The people are asleep in their sins and need to be alarmed before they can shake off this lethargy. Their ministers have preached smooth things; but Gods servants, who bear sacred, vital truths, should cry aloud and spare not, that the truth may tear off the garment of security and find its way to the heart. The straight testimony that should have been given to the people in ----- was shunned by the ministers; the seed of truth was sown among thorns and has been choked by them. With some, evil besetments have flourished, and the heavenly graces have died out.{1T 249.1}[14]
§31
上帝的仆人必须作率直的见证，刺入属肉体的心并发展人的品格。N和O弟兄在某地时行动完全受限。在那里作这种讲道决不会做上帝原计划要完成的工作。挂名教会的传道人已做了足够多阿谀奉承的事，掩饰了斥责罪恶的率直真理。{1T 249.2}[15]
§32
Gods servants must bear a pointed testimony, which will cut the natural heart and develop character. Brethren N and O moved with a perfect restraint upon them while in -----. Such preaching as was given there will never do the work that God designs should be accomplished. Ministers of the nominal churches do enough cringing, and wrapping up of the pointed truths which rebuke sin.{1T 249.2}[15]
§33
人们若不正确地信奉这信息，他们的心若不预备好接受它，倒不如完全不接触它。我蒙指示，某地的教会有一种经验要获得；但比起那率直的见证初赐给他们之时，就是他们初次发现自己是在错误中的时候，而今他们获得这种经验要困难得多了。那时原是更容易根除荆棘的时候。然而我见到某地有具有道德价值的人，有些人还会受现代真理的试验。教会若是兴起并悔改，主就会转向他们，赐给他们圣灵。于是他们的影响就会支持真理了。{1T 249.3}[16]
§34
Unless persons embrace the message aright, and their hearts are prepared to receive it, they would better let it entirely alone. I was shown that the church in ----- have an experience to obtain; but it will be much harder for them to obtain it now than if the pointed testimony had been given them at the very commencement, when they first discovered that they were in error. Then the thorns could have been more easily rooted out. Yet I saw that there were men of moral worth in -----, some who will yet be tested upon present truth. If the church will arise and be converted, the Lord will return unto them and give them His Spirit. Then their influence will tell for the truth.{1T 249.3}[16]