第11章 结婚和婚后的工作
§1
第11章 结婚和婚后的工作
§2
Chap.11 - Marriage and Subsequent Labors
§3
1846年8月30日，我同怀雅各长老结婚了。那时怀长老已经在复临运动中得到深厚的经验，而且他宣传真理的工作也大蒙上帝赐福。我俩在圣工上心心相印，所以时常一同旅行为救灵而效劳。{1T 75.1}[1]
§4
August 30, 1846, I was united in marriage to Elder James White. Elder White had enjoyed a deep experience in the advent movement, and his labors in proclaiming the truth had been blessed of God. Our hearts were united in the great work, and together we traveled and labored for the salvation of souls.{1T 75.1}[1]
§5
我们白手起家开始工作，朋友很少，健康状况也很差。我丈夫遗传了强健的体质，但他的健康因刻苦学习和演讲而严重受损了。我从小时就一直遭受不健康之苦，就如我已说过的。在这种状况下，没有钱，只有很少同意我们见解的人，没有报刊，没有书籍，我们开始我们的工作。我们那时没有礼拜之所。当时也没有想到用帐篷。我们大多数会议是在私人家里举行。我们聚会的规模很小，除了复临信徒，很少有人会参加我们的聚会；除非他们被好奇心驱使，去听一个妇女讲话。{1T 75.2}[2]
§6
We entered upon our work penniless, with few friends, and broken in health. My husband had inherited a powerful constitution, but his health had been seriously impaired by close application to study at school, and in lecturing. I had suffered ill-health from a child, as I have related. In this condition, without means, with very few who sympathized with us in our views, without a paper, and without books, we entered upon our work. We had no houses of worship at that time. And the idea of using a tent had not then occurred to us. Most of our meetings were held in private houses. Our congregations were small. It was seldom that any came into our meetings excepting Adventists, unless they were attracted by curiosity to hear a woman speak.{1T 75.2}[2]
§7
起先我开始提心吊胆地从事公开演讲的工作。要是我有信心，那就是圣灵赐给我的。要是我讲话放松有力，那就是上帝赐给我的。我们聚会的方式通常是我们两个分担。我丈夫讲道，然后我会继之以相当长的劝勉，将我的道路融入会众的情绪中。这样，我丈夫撒种，我浇灌真理的种子，而上帝使之生长。{1T 75.3}[3]
§8
At first I moved out timidly in the work of public speaking. If I had confidence, it was given me by the Holy Spirit. If I spoke with freedom and power, it was given me of God. Our meetings were usually conducted in such a manner that both of us took part. My husband would give a doctrinal discourse, then I would follow with an exhortation of considerable length, melting my way into the feelings of the congregation. Thus my husband sowed and I watered the seed of truth, and God did give the increase.{1T 75.3}[3]
§9
1846年秋天，我们开始遵守圣经的安息日，教导人守安息日，并为安息日做辩护。我第一次注意安息日的问题是当年早些时候在马萨诸塞新贝德福德的时候。我在那里结识了贝约瑟长老。他很早就接受了基督复临的信仰，并且热心为这事业效劳。贝长老当时在守安息日，并且极力主张其重要性。我不觉得它重要，并且以为贝长老详述第四条诫命过于其它九条乃是错误的。但主给了我有关天上圣所的异象。上帝的殿在天上开了，我蒙指示看见了那盖有施恩座的上帝的约柜。有两位天使侍立在约柜的两端，他们的翅膀张开遮掩施恩座，他们的脸也转向施恩座。陪同我的天使告诉我：这两位天使代表全天庭的众天使以高度的敬畏瞻仰上帝亲手所写的神圣律法。耶稣掀开了约柜的盖子，我便看见那写有十条诫命的两块石版。我惊奇地看见第四诫列在十诫的正当中，周围还有一圈柔和的光环绕着。天使说：“惟有这一条诫命向人指出那创造天地和其中万物的永生上帝。当奠定地的根基时，安息日的根基也奠定了。” {1T 75.4}[4]
§10
In the autumn of 1846 we began to observe the Bible Sabbath, and to teach and defend it. My attention was first called to the Sabbath while I was on a visit to New Bedford, Massachusetts, earlier in the same year. I there became acquainted with Elder Joseph Bates, who had early embraced the advent faith, and was an active laborer in the cause. Elder B. was keeping the Sabbath, and urged its importance. I did not feel its importance, and thought that Elder B. erred in dwelling upon the fourth commandment more than upon the other nine. But the Lord gave me a view of the heavenly sanctuary. The temple of God was opened in heaven, and I was shown the ark of God covered with the mercy seat. Two angels stood, one at each end of the ark, with their wings spread over the mercy seat, and their faces turned toward it. My accompanying angel informed me that these represented all the heavenly host looking with reverential awe toward the holy law which had been written by the finger of God. Jesus raised the cover of the ark, and I beheld the tables of stone on which the Ten Commandments were written. I was amazed as I saw the fourth commandment in the very center of the ten precepts, with a soft halo of light encircling it. Said the angel: It is the only one of the ten which defines the living God who created the heavens and the earth and all things that are therein. When the foundations of the earth were laid, then was laid the foundation of the Sabbath also.{1T 75.4}[4]
§11
我蒙指示，如果人一直遵守真安息日，现在就不会有一个不信上帝或提倡无神论的人了。安息日的遵守原可保守这世界不致崇拜偶像。第四条诫命被人践踏了，因此我们奉命要修补律法的破口，为被践踏的安息圣日而辩护。那想抬举自己高过上帝，并想改变节期和律法的大罪人，曾将安息日从第七日改到第一日。他的这一举动就在上帝的律法里造成了破口。就在上帝大而可畏的日子临到之前，必有一道信息传出去警告众人，劝他们转回遵守敌基督者所破坏的上帝的律法。所以必须通过言传身教使人注意律法中的这个破口。我蒙指示，看明那宣布上帝的诫命和耶稣真道的第三位天使(见启14:9-12)，代表那班领受这信息，并扬声警告世人要遵守上帝的诫命如同眼中瞳仁的人，而且在响应这警告时，许多人会接受主的安息日。{1T 76.1}[5]
§12
I was shown that if the true Sabbath had always been kept, there would never have been an infidel or an atheist. The observance of the Sabbath would have preserved the world from idolatry. The fourth commandment has been trampled upon; therefore we are called upon to repair the breach in the law, and plead for the downtrodden Sabbath. The man of sin, who exalted himself above God, and thought to change times and laws, brought about the change of the Sabbath from the seventh to the first day of the week. In doing this, he made a breach in the law of God. Just prior to the great day of God, a message is sent forth to warn the people to come back to their allegiance to the law of God which antichrist has broken down. By precept and example, attention must be called to the breach in the law. I was shown that the third angel, proclaiming the commandments of God and the faith of Jesus, represents the people who receive this message and raise the voice of warning to the world, to keep the commandments of God as the apple of the eye, and that in response to this warning many would embrace the Sabbath of the Lord.{1T 76.1}[5]
§13
当我们领受关于第四诫的亮光时，在缅因州约有二十五位复临信徒遵守安息日；但这些人在其它要道上观点很不相同，地点也很分散，所以他们的影响力很小。在新英格兰的其它地区约有同样的人数，相似的状况。我们的责任似乎是要常常去这些人的家里访问，并在主里和祂的真理里坚固他们，他们既是如此分散，我们就有必要花许多时间在路上。因为缺少钱财，我们就采用最便宜的私人马车，二等车厢和下等舱。鉴于我虚弱的状况，我发现坐私人马车旅行最舒适。当乘坐二等车厢时，我们通常会被包围在吸烟的人中，所受的影响常常使我晕倒。当在轮船的下等舱时，我们同样受烟草之苦，此外还有船上的水手和卑劣旅客的赌咒起誓和粗俗交谈。夜间我们睡在坚硬的地板上，干燥的货箱上，或粮袋上，用毯制手提包作枕头，大衣或披肩作被子。或是受到冬寒之苦，我们就会到甲板上行走保暖。当受到夏热的压迫时，我们就会上到上甲板去获得夜间凉爽的空气。这使我很疲劳，尤其是怀抱婴儿旅行的时候。这种生活方式决不是我们愿意选择的那种。但上帝在我们的贫穷中呼召了我们，并带领我们经过苦难的熔炉，要赐给我们一种会对我们具有极大价值的经验，也给后来会加入我们与我们同工之人一个榜样。{1T 77.1}[6]
§14
When we received the light upon the fourth commandment, there were about twenty-five Adventists in Maine who observed the Sabbath; but these were so diverse in sentiment upon other points of doctrine, and so scattered in location, that their influence was very small. There was about the same number, in similar condition, in other parts of New England. It seemed to be our duty to visit these frequently at their homes, and strengthen them in the Lord and in His truth, and as they were so much scattered, it was necessary for us to be on the road much of the time. For want of means we took the cheapest private conveyance, second-class cars, and lower-deck passage on steamers. In my feeble condition I found traveling by private conveyance most comfortable. When on second-class cars, we were usually enveloped in tobacco smoke, from the effects of which I often fainted. When on steamers, on lower deck, we suffered the same from the smoke of tobacco, besides the swearing and vulgar conversation of the ship hands and the baser portion of the traveling public. At night we lay down to sleep on the hard floor, dry goods boxes, or sacks of grain, with carpetbags for pillows, and overcoats and shawls for covering. If suffering from the winters cold, we would walk the deck to keep warm. When oppressed by the heat of summer, we would go upon the upper deck to secure the cool night air. This was fatiguing to me, especially when traveling with an infant in my arms. This manner of life was by no means one of our choosing. God called us in our poverty, and led us through the furnace of affliction, to give us an experience which should be of great worth to us, and an example to others who should afterward join us in labor.{1T 77.1}[6]
§15
我们的夫子是一个多受痛苦，常经忧患的人；那些与祂一同受苦的人也必与祂一同作王。当主向保罗显现使他悔改时，祂并没有打算向他显明他会享受多少好处，而是显明他会为祂的名遭受何等大的事。从亚伯殉道的日子起，苦难就是上帝子民的份。先祖们为忠于上帝并顺从祂的诫命忍受了苦难。教会伟大的元首为我们的缘故忍受了苦难；祂的第一批使徒和早期的教会忍受了苦难；数百万殉道者忍受了苦难；宗教改革家们也忍受了苦难。我们有基督不久就要显现成就不朽的洪福之望的人，岂可畏避苦难的人生呢？要是有可能不受苦难而能达到上帝乐园中的生命树那里，我们就不会欣赏如此丰富的我们未曾为之受苦的奖赏了。我们会畏缩退避那荣耀；在那些已经打了那美好的仗，存心忍耐跑了当跑的路，并且已经持定永生的人面前，我们会深感羞愧。然而凡不象摩西那样宁愿与上帝的百姓同受苦害的，都不会在那里。先知约翰看见了得赎的众民，就问他们是谁。他立刻得到了回答：“这些人是从大患难中出来的，曾用羔羊的血把衣裳洗白净了”（启7:14）。{1T 78.1}[7]
§16
Our Master was a man of sorrows; He was acquainted with grief; and those who suffer with Him will reign with Him. When the Lord appeared to Saul in his conversion, He did not purpose to show him how much good he should enjoy, but what great things he should suffer for His name. Suffering has been the portion of the people of God from the days of the martyr Abel. The patriarchs suffered for being true to God and obedient to His commandments. The great Head of the church suffered for our sake; His first apostles and the primitive church suffered; the millions of martyrs suffered, and the Reformers suffered. And why should we, who have the blessed hope of immortality, to be consummated at the soon appearing of Christ, shrink from a life of suffering? Were it possible to reach the tree of life in the midst of the Paradise of God without suffering, we would not enjoy so rich a reward for which we had not suffered. We would shrink back from the glory; shame would seize us in the presence of those who had fought the good fight, had run the race with patience, and had laid hold on eternal life. But none will be there who have not, like Moses, chosen to suffer affliction with the people of God. The prophet John saw the multitude of the redeemed, and inquired who they were. The prompt answer came: These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.{1T 78.1}[7]
§17
当我们开始传讲关于安息日问题的亮光时，我们对《启示录》14:9-12之第三位天使的信息并没有清楚明确的概念。当我们来到人们面前时，我们见证的要点是：伟大的第二次复临运动是出于上帝的，第一位和第二位天使的信息已经发出了，第三位天使的信息也要发出。我们见到第三道信息以这些话结束：“圣徒的忍耐就在此：他们是守上帝诫命和耶稣真道的。”我们当时象现在一样清楚地看出这些预言的话暗示了一场安息日的改革；但至于这信息中提到的拜兽是什么，或兽像和兽的印记是什么，我们还没有明确的立场。{1T 78.2}[8]
§18
When we began to present the light on the Sabbath question, we had no clearly defined idea of the third angels message of Revelation 14:9-12. The burden of our testimony as we came before the people was that the great second advent movement was of God, that the first and second messages had gone forth, and that the third was to be given. We saw that the third message closed with the words: Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus. And we as clearly saw as we now see that these prophetic words suggested a Sabbath reform; but as to what the worship of the beast mentioned in the message was, or what the image and the mark of the beast were, we had no defined position.{1T 78.2}[8]
§19
上帝藉祂的圣灵光照祂的众仆人；这题目就逐渐展现在他们心中了。需要大量的研究和切心的查考，才能环环相扣。圣工惟有藉着关怀，牵挂和不断的努力，才得以推进，直到我们信息的伟大真理以清楚、连贯、完美的整体传给世人。{1T 79.1}[9]
§20
God by His Holy Spirit let light shine forth upon His servants, and the subject gradually opened to their minds. It required much study and anxious care to search it out, link after link. By care, anxiety, and incessant labor has the work moved on until the great truths of our message, a clear, connected, perfect whole, have been given to the world.{1T 79.1}[9]
§21
前面说过我结识了贝约瑟长老，我发现他是一个真实基督化的君子，待人和蔼而有礼貌。他对我很温柔，就象是自己的孩子。他头一次听我讲话的时候，就表现了深切的关怀。在我讲完之后，他站起来说：“我是一个多疑的多马。我不相信见异象的事。如果我能相信这位姊妹今晚所作的见证真是上帝向我们所说的话，那么我就必是现代最快乐的人了。我的心已深受感动，我相信讲话的人是出于至诚的，但我不能解释她怎样会蒙启示关于她向我们所陈述的这些奇妙的事。” {1T 79.2}[10]
§22
I have already spoken of my acquaintance with Elder Bates. I found him to be a true Christian gentleman, courteous and kind. He treated me as tenderly as though I were his own child. The first time he heard me speak, he manifested deep interest. After I had ceased speaking, he arose and said: I am a doubting Thomas. I do not believe in visions. But if I could believe that the testimony the sister has related tonight was indeed the voice of God to us, I should be the happiest man alive. My heart is deeply moved. I believe the speaker to be sincere, but cannot explain in regard to her being shown the wonderful things she has related to us.{1T 79.2}[10]
§23
结婚几个月以后，我同我的丈夫参赴了缅因州托普瑟姆的聚会，当时贝约瑟长老也在场。那时他还不完全相信我所见的异象是出于上帝的。那一次聚会饶有兴趣。有上帝的灵降在我身上；我就在异象中被上帝的荣耀包围着，那是我初次得见其他的行星。我出离异象之后，便述说我所看到的事。贝长老问我有没有学过天文。我告诉他在我记忆中从来没有读过天文学，于是他就说：“这是出于耶和华。”我之前从未见他那么自由快乐。他的脸上焕发着天上的荣光，他也有力地向会众讲了一番勉励的话。{1T 79.3}[11]
§24
A few months after my marriage, I attended, with my husband, a Conference at Topsham, Maine, at which Elder Bates was present. He did not then fully believe that my visions were of God. That meeting was a season of much interest. The Spirit of God rested upon me; I was wrapped in a vision of Gods glory, and for the first time had a view of other planets. After I came out of vision, I related what I had seen. Elder B. then asked if I had studied astronomy. I told him I had no recollection of ever looking into an astronomy. Said he: This is of the Lord. I never before saw him so free and happy. His countenance shone with the light of heaven, and he exhorted the church with power.{1T 79.3}[11]
§25
我同丈夫从托普瑟姆的聚会县的聚会回到当时我父母所住的戈勒姆。我就患了一场重病，受了极大的痛苦。我的父母，丈夫和姊妹都一齐为我祈祷，但我一直受了三个星期的痛苦。我时常昏倒像死人一样，但经过代祷之后，又恢复了知觉。我的痛苦非常剧烈，甚至我央求那些陪伴我的人不要为我祷告；因为我以为他们的祈祷适足以延长我的痛苦。我们的邻舍都想我一定要死的。主的美意乃是要试炼我们的信心。最后，当我的朋友们又为我的康复一同祷告时，一位在场弟兄似乎特别有负担。那时有上帝的能力降在他身上，他便站了起来，走到我床边，按手在我头上，说：“爱伦姊妹，耶稣基督使你痊愈了，”说完就被上帝的能力所击打而向后扑倒了。那时我确信这是出于上帝的作为，我身上的痛苦就离开了我。我心中充满了感恩和平安。我心里的话乃是：“惟有上帝是我们的帮助。我们惟有依靠祂的救恩，才能得到平安。” {1T 80.1}[12]
§26
From the Conference I returned with my husband to Gorham, where my parents were then living. Here I was taken very sick, and suffered extremely. My parents, husband, and sisters united in prayer for me, but I suffered on for three weeks. I often fainted like one dead, but in answer to prayer revived again. My agony was so great that I pleaded with those around me not to pray for me; for I thought their prayers were protracting my sufferings. Our neighbors gave me up to die. For a time it pleased the Lord to try our faith. At length, as my friends again united in prayer for me, a brother who was present seemed much burdened, and with the power of God resting upon him, rose from his knees, came across the room, and laid his hands upon my head, saying: Sister Ellen, Jesus Christ maketh thee whole, and fell back, prostrated by the power of God. I believed that the work was of God, and the pain left me. My soul was filled with gratitude and peace. The language of my heart was: There is no help for us but in God. We can be in peace only as we rest in Him and wait for His salvation.{1T 80.1}[12]
§27
第二天有一场强风暴，邻居没有一个到我家来。我在起居室里已能起床了；当有人看见我房间的窗户打开时，他们以为我死了。他们不知道那大医师已仁慈地进了我的住所，斥责了疾病，释放了我。次日我乘车三十八英里去了托普瑟姆。人们问我父亲什么时候举行葬礼。我父亲问：“什么葬礼？”回答说：“你女儿的葬礼呀。”父亲回答说：“她已被信心的祷告医好了，正在前往托普瑟姆。” {1T 80.2}[13]
§28
The next day there was a severe storm, and none of the neighbors came to our house. I was able to be up in the sitting room; and as some saw the windows of my room raised, they supposed that I was dead. They knew not that the Great Physician had graciously entered the dwelling, rebuked the disease, and set me free. The next day we rode thirty-eight miles to Topsham. Inquiries were made of my father, at what time the funeral would be. Father asked: What funeral? The funeral of your daughter, was the reply. Father answered: She has been healed by the prayer of faith, and is on her way to Topsham.{1T 80.2}[13]
§29
这事以后的几周，我们从波特兰乘船，往波士顿去。海上起了大风，我们遇到很大的危险。船身可怕地摇晃着，海浪冲进了船舱的窗户。女士舱里有了极大的恐惧。许多人在承认自己的罪，呼求上帝的怜悯。有些人在呼求圣母马利亚保守她们，有些人则向上帝庄严地许愿，若是她们能登陆，就会献身于祂的服务。那真是一片恐怖混乱的景象。当船摇摆时，一位女士转向我说：“你没有受到惊吓吗？我猜想事实上我们可能决不能靠岸了。”我告诉她我已使基督成为我的避难所，如果我的工作做完了，我就可以躺在洋底，就象躺在其它任何地方一样；但是如果我的工作还没做完，海里所有的水也不会淹死我。我信赖上帝；若是能荣耀祂，祂会把我们平安带到陆地。{1T 80.3}[14]
§30
A few weeks after this, on our way to Boston we took the steamer at Portland. A violent storm came up, and we were in great peril. The boat rolled fearfully, and the waves dashed into the cabin windows. There was great fear in the ladies cabin. Many were confessing their sins, and crying to God for mercy. Some were calling upon the Virgin Mary to keep them, while others were making solemn vows to God that if they reached land they would devote their lives to His service. It was a scene of terror and confusion. As the boat rocked, a lady turned to me and said: Are you not terrified? I suppose it is a fact that we may never reach land. I told her that I had made Christ my refuge, and if my work was done, I might as well lie in the bottom of the ocean as in any other place; but if my work was not done, all the waters of the ocean could not drown me. My trust was in God; He would bring us safe to land if it was for His glory.{1T 80.3}[14]
§31
当时我珍视基督徒的盼望。在我面前的那个场景将主烈怒的日子活生生地显在我的脑海中。那时祂忿怒的风暴会临到可怜的罪人。于是就会有痛痛的哭号和眼泪，认罪，及祈求怜悯，然而那时就为时太晚了。因为“我呼唤，你们不肯听从；我伸手，无人理会；反轻弃我一切的劝戒，不肯受我的责备。你们遭灾难，我就发笑；惊恐临到你们，我必嗤笑”（箴1:24-26）。{1T 81.1}[15]
§32
At this time I prized the Christians hope. The scene before me brought vividly to my mind the day of the Lords fierce anger, when the storm of His wrath will come upon the poor sinner. Then there will be bitter cries and tears, confession of sin, and pleading for mercy, when it will be too late. Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out My hand, and no man regarded; but ye have set at nought all My counsel, and would none of My reproof: I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh.{1T 81.1}[15]
§33
由于上帝的怜悯，我们都平安地上岸了。但有些在暴风中曾表现出极其恐惧的乘客却没有提到这事，只是轻描淡写了他们的恐惧。有一位曾庄严地许诺若能蒙保守见到陆地就会作一个基督徒的人，在离开那船时取笑地呼喊说：“荣耀归于上帝，我很高兴又踏上陆地啦！”我请她回想数小时前对上帝所许的愿。她冷笑着转身离开了我。{1T 81.2}[16]
§34
Through the mercy of God we were all landed safe. But some of the passengers who manifested much fear in the storm made no reference to it, only to make light of their fears. One who had solemnly promised that if she were preserved to see land she would be a Christian, mockingly cried out as she left the boat: Glory to God, I am glad to step on land again! I asked her to go back a few hours, and remember her vows to God. She turned from me with a sneer.{1T 81.2}[16]
§35
这使我深刻地联想到人临终之时的悔改。有些人终身侍奉自己和撒但，但后来罹患疾病，对茫茫前途就充满恐惧，就作出一些为罪忧伤的表现，或者说他们愿意去死。他们的朋友也使他们相信自己真的悔改可进天国了。然而这些人若是痊愈了，就会象从前一样反叛。我想起了箴1:27,28：“惊恐临到你们，好像狂风；灾难来到，如同暴风；急难痛苦临到你们身上。那时，你们必呼求我，我却不答应，恳切的寻找我，却寻不见。” {1T 81.3}[17]
§36
I was forcibly reminded of deathbed repentance. Some serve themselves and Satan all their lives, and then as sickness subdues them, and a fearful uncertainty is before them, they manifest some sorrow for sin, and perhaps say they are willing to die, and their friends make themselves believe that they have been truly converted and fitted for heaven. But if these should recover, they would be as rebellious as ever. I am reminded of Proverbs 1:27, 28: When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you. Then shall they call upon Me, but I will not answer; they shall seek Me early, but they shall not find Me.{1T 81.3}[17]
§37
1847年8月26日，我们头一个儿子亨利·尼可斯·怀特在缅因州戈勒姆出生了。当年的十月，住在托普瑟姆的豪兰夫妇的家里，豪兰夫妇仁慈地在自己家里让出一部分给我们住，我们就感激地领受，并用几件借来的家具开始组织小家庭了。那时我们很贫苦，生活非常窘迫。我们决定不依赖人，却要自食其力，并还能有一点力量去帮助人。但我们的景况未见好转。那时我的丈夫很辛苦地参加修筑铁路，搬运石头，但却得不到他所应得的工资。豪兰夫妇在他们有力量的时候，很慷慨地拿自己的东西分给我们；但他们的景况也非常困难。他们全心相信第一和第二位天使的信息，并且已经很慷慨地捐出自己的财物来推进圣工，以致他们必须靠自己的劳力来维持生活。{1T 82.1}[18]
§38
At Gorham, Maine, August 26, 1847, our eldest son, Henry Nichols White, was born. In October, Brother and Sister Howland of Topsham kindly offered us a part of their dwelling, which we gladly accepted, and commenced housekeeping with borrowed furniture. We were poor, and saw close times. We had resolved not to be dependent, but to support ourselves, and have something with which to help others. But we were not prospered. My husband worked very hard hauling stone on the railroad, but could not get what was due him for his labor. Brother and Sister H. freely divided with us whenever they could; but they were in close circumstances. They fully believed the first and second messages, and had generously imparted of their substance to forward the work, until they were dependent on their daily labor.{1T 82.1}[18]
§39
后来我的丈夫离开了铁路，却拿着斧头到森林里去砍柴。他的腰虽然时常酸痛，但他还从清晨一直作到晚上，每日赚来五角钱。他因剧痛夜晚不能入睡。我们竭力保持乐观的精神，并且信靠主。我没有发怨言。每天早上我感谢上帝，因祂保守我们过了一夜，在晚上我感谢祂保护我们又过了一天。有一天我们家里绝了粮，我的丈夫便到他雇主那里去领取现金或粮食。那天有大风雨，他在雨里来回走了三英里。他回来时身上背着一袋粮食，袋子是扎成几部分的。他曾背着这袋粮食经过伯伦斯威克村，就是他常在那里讲道的地方。当他精疲力竭地走进家门时，我的心就沉下去了。我头一个感想就是上帝已经丢弃了我们。我对丈夫说：“我们竟落到这种地步了么？难道主已经离开了我们么？”我抑制不住自己的眼泪，放声痛哭达数小时之久，直到昏绝了。旁人为我代祷。当我再次呼吸时，就感觉到上帝圣灵欢乐的影响，我就懊悔我竟被灰心的情绪所胜。我们极愿跟随基督并效法祂；但是有时我们竟会在试炼之下昏绝，离祂很远。苦难和考验使我们亲近耶稣。窑里的火足以焚尽渣滓，锻炼精金。{1T 82.2}[19]
§40
My husband left the railroad, and with his ax went into the woods to chop cordwood. With a continual pain in his side, he worked from early morning till dark to earn about fifty cents a day. He was prevented from sleeping nights by severe pain. We endeavored to keep up good courage, and trust in the Lord. I did not murmur. In the morning I felt grateful to God that He had preserved us through another night, and at night I was thankful that He had kept us through another day. One day when our provisions were gone, my husband went to his employer to get money or provisions. It was a stormy day, and he walked three miles and back in the rain. He brought home on his back a bag of provisions tied in different compartments, having in this manner passed through the village of Brunswick, where he had often lectured. As he entered the house, very weary, my heart sank within me. My first feelings were that God had forsaken us. I said to my husband: Have we come to this? Has the Lord left us? I could not restrain my tears, and wept aloud for hours, until I fainted. Prayer was offered in my behalf. When I breathed again, I felt the cheering influence of the Spirit of God, and regretted that I had sunk under discouragement. We desire to follow Christ and to be like Him; but we sometimes faint beneath trials, and remain at a distance from Him. Sufferings and trials bring us near to Jesus. The furnace consumes the dross and brightens the gold.{1T 82.2}[19]
§41
当时我蒙指示，得悉主一直锻炼我们，是与我们有益的，要预备我们去为别人效力。祂如鹰搅动巢窝，免得我们安逸下来。我们的工作乃是为救灵而劳碌；如果我们富足了，家庭的生活就要成为非常安乐的，以致我们舍不得离开家庭；苦难被容许临到我们，乃为准备我们应付在我们旅行时所必遭遇的更艰苦的斗争。我们不久就接到从各州的弟兄们写来的信，邀请我们去访问他们；但我们没有离州出门的路费。因此我们的回答乃是：我们前面的路还没有打开。当时我认为我不可能带着孩子一同旅行。我们不愿依赖人，所以谨慎地量入为出。我们决心宁可受苦而不愿负债。我允许自己和孩子每天只喝一品脱的奶。一天早上，我丈夫在出去工作前给我留下了九美分，去买三个早上的奶。我考虑是给我和孩子买奶还是给他做一个围裙。我放弃了牛奶，买了一块布，好给我的孩子做件围裙，遮住他光光的手臂。{1T 83.1}[20]
§42
At this time I was shown that the Lord had been trying us for our good, and to prepare us to labor for others; that He had been stirring up our nest, lest we should settle down at ease. Our work was to labor for souls; if we had been prospered, home would be so pleasant that we would be unwilling to leave it; trials had been permitted to come upon us to prepare us for the still greater conflicts that we would meet in our travels. We soon received letters from brethren in different states inviting us to visit them; but we had no means to take us out of the state. Our reply was that the way was not open before us. I thought that it would be impossible for me to travel with my child. We did not wish to be dependent, and were careful to live within our means. We were resolved to suffer rather than get in debt. I allowed myself and child one pint of milk each day. One morning before my husband went to his work, he left me nine cents to buy milk for three mornings. It was a study with me whether to buy the milk for myself and babe or get an apron for him. I gave up the milk, and purchased the cloth for an apron to cover the bare arms of my child. {1T 83.1}[20]
§43
过了不久，小亨利患了重病，病状很快地恶化，以致我们非常恐慌。他昏迷不醒，呼吸快速而沉重。我们进行治疗，但没有成功。于是我们请来一位对病理有经验的人，他说亨利能否痊愈，甚为可疑。我们曾经为他祷告，但病势依然没有好转。我们过去曾把孩子当作不出门为别人的益处作工的托辞，所以这时我们恐怕主有意要把他取去。于是我们再到主的面前来，求祂向我们发慈怜，饶了这孩子的性命，同时我们也严肃地许愿：不论今后上帝派我们到那里去，我们都愿意信赖祂而遵命前往。{1T 84.1}[21]
§44
Little Henry was soon taken very sick, and grew worse so fast that we were much alarmed. He lay in a stupid state; his breathing was quick and heavy. We gave remedies with no success. We then called in a person of experience in sickness, who said that his recovery was doubtful. We had prayed for him, but there was no change. We had made the child an excuse for not traveling and laboring for the good of others, and we feared the Lord was about to remove him. Once more we went before the Lord, praying that He would have compassion upon us, and spare the life of the child, and solemnly pledging ourselves to go forth, trusting in God, wherever He might send us.{1T 84.1}[21]
§45
我们的祷告是热切而伤痛的。我们凭着信心，要求上帝成就祂的应许，并且相信祂垂听了我们的呼求。这时有光明突破乌云照射在我们身上了。上帝开恩应允了我们的祈祷。从那一时刻起，小孩子就开始痊愈了。{1T 84.2}[22]
§46
Our petitions were fervent and agonizing. By faith we claimed the promises of God, and we believed that He listened to our cries. Light from heaven was breaking through the clouds and shining upon us. Our prayers were graciously answered. From that hour the child began to recover.{1T 84.2}[22]
§47
我们在托普瑟姆接到康涅狄格州张伯伦弟兄的来信，请我们去参赴一八四八年四月在该州召开的会议。我们决定若能得到路费，就去赴会。我的丈夫和他的雇主结帐之后，发现还可支取工资十块钱。我用了五块钱来购买几件我们所急需的衣服，然后把丈夫的大衣补好了，连补钉还是拼凑起来的，使得袖子上都看不到原来的布。我们还剩下五块钱，够到马萨诸塞州多尔切斯特城之用。我们的一只箱子几乎就装尽了我们在地上所有的一切东西；但我们却享有心灵上的平安和一颗无愧的良心，这是我们所最宝贵的，远过于属世的安逸。我们在多尔切斯特访问了尼可斯弟兄。当我们离开的时候，尼可斯夫人拿出五块钱给我的丈夫，这正好够付我们到康涅狄格州米德尔敦去的路费。我们在那里人地生疏，从来没有见过该州的一个同道。那时我们手里只剩有五角钱了。我的丈夫不敢用它来雇车子，便将箱子放在一堆木板上，我们徒步行走，去寻找同道弟兄。不久我们找到了张伯伦弟兄，他就把我们带到他家里去。{1T 84.3}[23]
§48
While at Topsham we received a letter from Brother Chamberlain of Connecticut, urging us to attend a Conference in that state in April, 1848. We decided to go if we could obtain means. My husband settled with his employer, and found that there was ten dollars due him. With five of this I purchased articles of clothing which we much needed, and then patched my husbands overcoat, even piecing the patches, making it difficult to tell the original cloth in the sleeves. We had five dollars left to take us to Dorchester, Massachusetts. Our trunk contained nearly everything we possessed on earth; but we enjoyed peace of mind and a clear conscience, and this we prized above earthly comforts. In Dorchester we called at the house of Brother Nichols, and as we left, Sister N. handed my husband five dollars, which paid our fare to Middletown, Connecticut. We were strangers in that city, and had never seen one of the brethren in the state. We had but fifty cents left. My husband did not dare to use that to hire a carriage, so he threw the trunk up on a pile of boards, and we walked on in search of someone of like faith. We soon found Brother C., who took us to his house.{1T 84.3}[23]
§49
会议在罗基希尔的贝尔登弟兄家尚未造好的一间大客厅里举行的。陆续有人到达，直到我们有五十人之多。这些人不都是完全接受了真理的。当天的聚会是很有兴趣的。贝约瑟弟兄清楚地讲解了十条诫命，藉有力的见证强调了十诫的重要性。所传的道坚固了那些已经接受真理的人，并唤醒了那些还没有完全下决心的人。{1T 85.1}[24]
§50
The Conference was held at Rocky Hill, in the large, unfinished chamber of Brother Beldens house. The brethren came in until we numbered about fifty; but these were not all fully in the truth. Our meeting was interesting. Brother Bates presented the commandments in a clear light, and their importance was urged home by powerful testimonies. The word had effect to establish those already in the truth, and to awaken those who were not fully decided.{1T 85.1}[24]
§51
第二年夏天，我们接到邀请要访问纽约州的弟兄们。那里的信徒们很穷的，不敢答应帮助解决我们的费用。那时我们还没有路费。我丈夫的健康欠佳，但他得到机会可以在田里割草，就决定去了。那时我们似乎必须凭信心过日子。我们早上起来时，就跪在床边，求上帝赐我们力量承担一天的工作。我们每次必须确知上帝垂听了我们的祈祷，才能满意。于是我的丈夫便不靠自己的力量而靠上帝所赐给他的力量，出去整日割草。在他晚上回家时，我们再恳求上帝赐我们能力，可以赚一点钱来传播真理。我们常常大大蒙福。我丈夫在一八四八年七月二日写信给豪兰，说：“上帝赐我力量整天劳碌。赞美祂的名！我希望得到几块钱用在祂的圣工上。我们已经忍受了劳苦，疲乏，疼痛，饥饿，寒冷，炎热，同时尽力向我们的弟兄姐妹行善，如果上帝需要，我们就准备受更多的苦。我今天欢喜快乐，因为今生的安逸，乐趣和舒适是我信心和盼望之祭坛上的牺牲。如果我们的幸福在于使别人幸福，我们确实是幸福的。真门徒不会过满足爱自己的生活，而是为基督，为祂儿女们的利益生活。他要为基督的圣工牺牲自己的安逸，自己的乐趣，自己的舒适，自己的便利，自己的意愿，和自己自私的愿望，否则决不能与祂在祂的宝座上一同作王。” {1T 85.2}[25]
§52
We were invited to meet with the brethren in the State of New York the following summer. The believers were poor, and could not promise to do much toward defraying our expenses. We had no means with which to travel. My husbands health was poor, but the way opened for him to work in the hayfield, and he decided to make the effort. It seemed then that we must live by faith. When we arose in the morning, we bowed at our bedside and asked God to give us strength to labor through the day. We would not be satisfied unless we had the assurance that the Lord heard us pray. My husband then went forth to swing the scythe, not in his own strength, but in the strength of the Lord. At night, when he came home, we would again plead with God for strength to earn means to spread His truth. We were often greatly blessed. In a letter to Brother Howland, July, 1848, my husband wrote: God gives me strength to labor hard all day. Praise His name! I hope to get a few dollars to use in His cause. We have suffered from labor, fatigue, pain, hunger, cold, and heat, while endeavoring to do our brethren and sisters good, and we hold ourselves ready to suffer more if God requires. I rejoice today that ease, pleasure, and comfort in this life are a sacrifice on the altar of my faith and hope. If our happiness consists in making others happy, we are happy indeed. The true disciple will not live to gratify beloved self, but for Christ, and for the good of His little ones. He is to sacrifice his ease, his pleasure, his comfort, his convenience, his will, and his own selfish wishes for Christs cause, or never reign with Him on His throne.{1T 85.2}[25]
§53
割草赚来的钱足够我们日常支出，以及我们往返纽约州西部的路费。{1T 86.1}[26]
§54
The means earned in the hayfield was sufficient to supply our present wants, and also pay our expenses to go to western New York and return.{1T 86.1}[26]
§55
我们在纽约州头一次的大会是在沃尔尼一位弟兄的谷仓里举行的。赴会的人约有三十五位，——这要算是该州西部所能召集的全部同道了。但在这些人中，几乎没有两个人的看法是完全一致的。有一些人还坚持严重的谬见，而各人都坚持己见，声称自己的看法是合乎圣经的。{1T 86.2}[27]
§56
Our first Conference in New York was held at Volney, in a brothers barn. About thirty-five were present--all that could be collected in that part of the state. But of this number, hardly two were agreed. Some were holding serious errors, and each strenuously urged his own views, declaring that they were according to the Scriptures.{1T 86.2}[27]
§57
这种意见分歧的奇怪现象重重地压在我心上，在我看来，这种情形是羞辱上帝的。我终于在这种压力之下晕倒了。有些人恐怕我将要死了。但主垂听了祂仆人们的祈祷，我便醒了过来。有天国的光辉照在我的身上，不久我就对地上的事物失去了知觉。那陪同我的天使向我指出当时在场的几个人的错谬，同时也指明了那与他们的谬见作为对照的真理。这些据他们所说是合乎圣经的互相矛盾的观点，不过是依照他们自己对于圣经教训的意见而已；他们必须放弃他们的谬论，并在第三位天使的信息上团结起来。我们的聚会胜利地结束了。真理获得了胜利。弟兄们放弃了他们的谬论，并在第三位天使的信息上团结起来了，结果上帝大大地赐福给他们，并使他们的人数增加了。{1T 86.3}[28]
§58
These strange differences of opinion brought a heavy weight upon me, as it seemed to me that God was dishonored; and I fainted under the burden. Some feared that I was dying; but the Lord heard the prayers of His servants, and I revived. The light of heaven rested upon me, and I was soon lost to earthly things. My accompanying angel presented before me some of the errors of those present, and also the truth in contrast with their errors. These discordant views which they claimed to be according to the Bible were only according to their opinion of the Bible, and they must yield their errors and unite upon the third angels message. Our meeting closed triumphantly. Truth gained the victory. The brethren renounced their errors, and united upon the third angels message, and God greatly blessed them and added to their numbers.{1T 86.3}[28]
§59
我们从沃尔尼前往吉布森港，去参赴在爱德生弟兄的谷仓里举行的一次聚会。与会的人有热爱真理的，但也有听从并怀有错误的。在那次聚会结束前，主以能力为我们行了事。我再次在异象中蒙指示，见到纽约州西部的弟兄们放弃歧见，并在圣经真理上团结起来的重要性。{1T 86.4}[29]
§60
From Volney we went to Port Gibson to attend a meeting in Brother Edsons barn. There were those present who loved the truth, but were listening to and cherishing error. The Lord wrought for us in power before the close of that meeting. I was again shown in vision the importance of the brethren in western New York laying aside their differences, and uniting upon Bible truth.{1T 86.4}[29]
§61
我们回到了米德尔敦，就是我们去西部旅行时留下孩子的地方。现在又有了一个痛苦的任务。为了救灵的工作，我们觉得必须牺牲我们的小亨利的陪伴，好使我们可以毫无保留地献身圣工。那时我的健康情况极差，所以如果带着小孩子，他就一定要占据我大部分的时间。那真是一个严重的考验，但我不敢让孩子拦阻我尽职的道路。我相信上一次他患重病的时候，主曾为我们保留了他的性命，所以如果我让他拦阻我不能尽到本分，上帝就必把他取去。于是我只得以一颗辛酸的心和许多眼泪，在主的面前决意牺牲，把我独生的孩子，那时才一岁，交给别人去以妈妈的爱待他，去尽一个母亲的本分。我们很放心地把亨利留在豪兰弟兄的家里。他们愿意负起这份担子，为要使我们可以无牵挂地为上帝的圣工效劳。我们深知他们必能较比我们在旅行中带着孩子更好地照顾亨利。我们也知道，他若能有一个安定的家庭和良好的管教，乃是对他最有益处的。我和小孩子分离时真是作难。我离别他的时候，他那小脸蛋上悲伤的表情真令我日夜难忘；但我靠着主的能力摆脱了恋慕孩子的心，竭力为别人谋福。豪兰弟兄一家完全负责教养亨利，足有五年之久。{1T 86.5}[30]
§62
We returned to Middletown, where we had left our child during our western journey. And now a painful duty presented itself. For the good of souls we felt that we must sacrifice the company of our little Henry, that we might give ourselves unreservedly to the work. My health was poor, and he would necessarily occupy a great share of my time. It was a severe trial, yet I dared not let the child stand in the way of my duty. I believed that the Lord had spared him to us when he was very sick, and that if I should let him hinder me from doing my duty, God would remove him from me. Alone before the Lord, with most painful feelings and many tears, I made the sacrifice, and gave up my only child, then one year old, for another to exercise a mothers feelings toward him, and to act a mothers part. We left him in Brother Howlands family, in whom we had the utmost confidence. They were willing to bear burdens to leave us as free as possible to labor in the cause of God. We knew that they could take better care of Henry than we could while journeying, and that it was for his good to have a steady home and good discipline. It was hard parting with my child. His sad little face, as I left him, was before me night and day; yet in the strength of the Lord I put him out of my mind, and sought to do others good. Brother Howlands family had the whole charge of Henry for five years. {1T 86.5}[30]