第08章 蒙召旅行
§1
第08章 蒙召旅行
§2
Chap.8 - Call to Travel
§3
我向波特兰的信徒述说这个异象，他们都确信这是出于上帝的。有主的灵同证这个见证。大家都为永恒的严肃所覆盖。我充满了一种莫可言喻的敬畏，因为想到我这样年轻软弱的人竟被选作上帝的器皿，向祂的子民传达亮光。当我在主的权能之下时，我就充满了喜乐，似乎是在荣美的天庭中被众天使所包围着，那里全是平安和喜乐；所以及至我醒过来回到这凡人生活的现实时，那真是悲惨而苦恼的改变。{1T 62.1}[1]
§4
I related this vision to the believers in Portland, who had full confidence that it was from God. The Spirit of the Lord attended the testimony, and the solemnity of eternity rested upon us. An unspeakable awe filled me, that I, so young and feeble, should be chosen as the instrument by which God would give light to His people. While under the power of the Lord I was filled with joy, seeming to be surrounded by holy angels in the glorious courts of heaven, where all is peace and gladness, and it was a sad and bitter change to wake up to the realities of mortal life.{1T 62.1}[1]
§5
见了第一个异象之后不久，我见了第二个异象，蒙主指示我所必须经受的磨难，而且我的责任是将上帝所启示给我的事告诉别人。我蒙指示，我的工作必定遭遇强烈的反对，而且我的心灵一定也要痛苦非常；但上帝的恩典足够我用的，必能在这一切折磨之中扶持我。这个异象的教导使我极其不安，因为它指明我的本分，要我出去向众人讲说真理。{1T 62.2}[2]
§6
In a second vision, which soon followed the first, I was shown the trials through which I must pass, and that it was my duty to go and relate to others what God had revealed to me. It was shown me that my labors would meet with great opposition, and that my heart would be rent with anguish, but that the grace of God would be sufficient to sustain me through all. The teaching of this vision troubled me exceedingly, for it pointed out my duty to go out among the people and present the truth.{1T 62.2}[2]
§7
当时我身体虚弱，甚至无时不在痛苦之中，看来我只能存活一个很短的时期了。那时我只有十七岁，身体矮小脆弱，不善交际，本性胆小怯懦，怕见生人。数日之久，我常祷告一直到深夜，要求把这个重负从我身上移到比我更能干的人身上。但这指明我责任的亮光一直没有改变，所以天使的话一直在我耳边：“要把我所启示给你的事传给别人。” {1T 62.3}[3]
§8
My health was so poor that I was in constant bodily suffering, and, to all appearance, had but a short time to live. I was but seventeen years of age, small and frail, unused to society, and naturally so timid and retiring that it was painful for me to meet strangers. I prayed earnestly for several days, and far into the night, that this burden might be removed from me and laid upon someone more capable of bearing it. But the light of duty did not change, and the words of the angel sounded continually in my ears: Make known to others what I have revealed to you. {1T 62.3}[3]
§9
我不愿意到世界去，害怕遇到它的讥笑和反对。我没有自信心。到目前为止，当上帝的灵督促我尽责时，我就超越我自己，在思想耶稣的爱和祂已为我成就的奇妙事工中忘记一切惧怕与胆怯。我在尽自己的本分并且在顺从主旨意的一贯确信使我有了令我惊奇的信心。在这样的时候我就觉得甘愿去做任何事或忍受任何苦难，为要帮助别人进入耶稣的亮光和平安。{1T 63.1}[4]
§10
I was unreconciled to going out into the world, and dreaded to meet its sneers and opposition. I had little self-confidence. Hitherto when the Spirit of God had urged me to duty, I had risen above myself, forgetting all fear and timidity in the thought of Jesus love and the wonderful work He had done for me. The constant assurance that I was fulfilling my duty and obeying the will of the Lord gave me a confidence that surprised me. At such times I felt willing to do or suffer anything in order to help others into the light and peace of Jesus.{1T 63.1}[4]
§11
但这次我似乎不可能执行摆在我面前的工作；若去尝试，似乎是必定失败。它所带来的考验似乎是我所无法忍受的。这个在年龄上还是小孩子的我怎能来往奔波，向众人讲解上帝神圣的真理呢？我一想起这事，就不禁畏缩不前。我的哥哥罗伯特比我大两岁，他也决不能陪同我去，因为他身体也非常虚弱，况且他比我更为胆小；无论怎样，也不能叫他作这一件事。我的父亲必须应付家庭的负担，所以不能离开他的事业；但他多次使我确信，上帝既然呼召我到外地去作工，祂一定会给我开路的。但这些勉励的话并没有给我这一悲伤的心灵多少安慰；那摆在前面的路似乎难关重重，决非我所能克服的。{1T 63.2}[5]
§12
But it seemed impossible for me to perform this work that was presented before me; to attempt it seemed certain failure. The trials attending it appeared more than I could endure. How could I, a child in years, go forth from place to place, unfolding to the people the holy truths of God? My heart shrank in terror from the thought. My brother Robert, but two years older than myself, could not accompany me, for he was feeble in health and his timidity greater than mine; nothing could have induced him to take such a step. My father had a family to support, and could not leave his business; but he assured me that if God had called me to labor in other places, He would not fail to open the way for me. But these words of encouragement brought little comfort to my desponding heart; the path before me seemed hedged in with difficulties that I was unable to overcome.{1T 63.2}[5]
§13
我为要摆脱那压在身上的责任起见，巴不得死了才好。结果我所长久享有甘美的平安离开了我，绝望又重新压在我的心头。我的祈祷似乎都是徒然的，我的信心也消失了。安慰、责备或鼓励的话对我来说都是一样；因为似乎除了上帝没有一个人能理解我，而祂已离弃了我。波特兰的一群信徒不明白那使我陷于这种苦况的心境；但他们知道我有心事，以致忧郁不堪，所以他们认为：鉴于过去主曾经如何恩待我，向我彰显祂自己，这是我的罪。{1T 63.3}[6]
§14
I coveted death as a release from the responsibilities that were crowding upon me. At length the sweet peace I had so long enjoyed left me, and despair again pressed upon my soul. My prayers all seemed vain, and my faith was gone. Words of comfort, reproof, or encouragement were alike to me; for it seemed that no one could understand me but God, and He had forsaken me. The company of believers in Portland were ignorant concerning the exercises of my mind that had brought me into this state of despondency; but they knew that for some reason my mind had become depressed, and they felt that this was sinful on my part, considering the gracious manner in which the Lord had manifested Himself to me.{1T 63.3}[6]
§15
我担心上帝已经永远使祂的恩眷离开我了。当我想到从前曾使我的心灵蒙福的亮光时，与现在包围着我的黑暗相比，它似乎加倍宝贵了。那时在我父亲家里常有聚会，但我精神非常痛苦，甚至有一个时期我没有去参加聚会。我心上的担子越来越重，直到我再不能忍受这种精神上的痛苦。{1T 64.1}[7]
§16
I feared that God had taken His favor from me forever. As I thought of the light that had formerly blessed my soul, it seemed doubly precious in contrast with the darkness that now enveloped me. Meetings were held at my fathers house, but my distress of mind was so great that I did not attend them for some time. My burden grew heavier until the agony of my spirit seemed more than I could bear.{1T 64.1}[7]
§17
后来，同道们终于劝服我去参加他们在我自己家里所举行的聚会。教会也把我的问题作为特别祈祷的题目。有一位曾在我先前一段经验中反对上帝在我身上所显示的能力的皮尔逊老伯，这时诚恳地为我祷告，并劝我把自己的意志降服在主的旨意之下。他像一个仁慈的父亲一样设法勉励并安慰我，嘱咐我相信那位罪人的“良友”决不会丢弃我。{1T 64.2}[8]
§18
At length I was induced to be present at one of the meetings in my own home. The church made my case a special subject of prayer. Father Pearson, who in my earlier experience had opposed the manifestations of the power of God upon me, now prayed earnestly for me, and counseled me to surrender my will to the will of the Lord. Like a tender father he tried to encourage and comfort me, bidding me believe I was not forsaken by the Friend of sinners.{1T 64.2}[8]
§19
我感觉太软弱，太灰心，无意为自己作什么特别的努力，但我的心还能和朋友们一同祈祷。这时我再不考虑世人的反对，只要我能再蒙上帝的喜悦，我愿意作任何牺牲。当众人为我祈祷，求主加添我能力和勇敢来传祂的信息时，那曾经包围我的重重黑暗开朗了，便有光明蓦然地照射我。我的力量被取走了。我似乎是置身在很多天使当中。这些圣洁使者中的一位再次向我说：“要把我所启示你的事传给别人。” {1T 64.3}[9]
§20
I felt too weak and despondent to make any special effort for myself, but my heart united with the petitions of my friends. I cared little now for the opposition of the world, and felt willing to make every sacrifice if only the favor of God might be restored to me. While prayer was offered for me, the thick darkness that had encompassed me rolled back, and a sudden light came upon me. My strength was taken away. I seemed to be in the presence of the angels. One of these holy beings again repeated the words: Make known to others what I have revealed to you.{1T 64.3}[9]
§21
我有一件很担心的事，如果我遵循义务之呼召，出去说我已蒙至高者特别的眷爱，从祂领受了异象和启示来传给众人，我就容易犯自高自大的罪，以致我以不应有的地位自居，招致上帝的不悦，而使自己的灵魂灭亡。我过去听说过这样的事，所以我畏避这种可怕的考验。{1T 64.4}[10]
§22
One great fear that oppressed me was that if I obeyed the call of duty, and went out declaring myself to be one favored of the Most High with visions and revelations for the people, I might yield to sinful exaltation and be lifted above the station that was right for me to occupy, bring upon myself the displeasure of God, and lose my own soul. I had before me several cases such as I have here described, and my heart shrank from the trying ordeal. {1T 64.4}[10]
§23
于是我就恳求主，如果我必须去讲说主所启示给我的事，求祂保守我不致骄傲。天使说：“你的祈祷已蒙垂听，也必蒙应允。如果你所惧怕的这种罪恶威胁到你，上帝必要伸手救你；祂要借着苦难使你亲近祂，保守你的谦虚。务要忠心传讲这信息；务要忍耐到底，你就必吃生命树的果子并喝生命水。” {1T 65.1}[11]
§24
I now entreated that if I must go and relate what the Lord had shown me, I should be preserved from undue exaltation. Said the angel: Your prayers are heard and shall be answered. If this evil that you dread threatens you, the hand of God will be stretched out to save you; by affliction He will draw you to Himself and preserve your humility. Deliver the message faithfully. Endure unto the end, and you shall eat the fruit of the tree of life and drink of the water of life.{1T 65.1}[11]
§25
在我恢复对地上事物的感觉时，我就将自己交托主，不论祂要我作什么，我都准备遵行祂的指示。照天意，主为我开路，让我和我的姐夫一同到三十英里以外的波兰我姐姐那里去，在那里我有机会作见证。{1T 65.2}[12]
§26
After recovering consciousness of earthly things, I committed myself to the Lord, ready to do His bidding whatever that might be. Providentially, the way opened for me to go with my brother-in-law to my sisters in Poland, thirty miles from my home. I there had an opportunity to bear my testimony.{1T 65.2}[12]
§27
那时我的喉咙和肺部有病，以致三个月来我不能多讲话，而且讲话时声音低微沙哑。这次我在会中站了起来，开始低声讲话。讲了五分钟之后，喉咙与肺的疼痛和障碍消退了，我的声音就变成清晰而宏亮，我便很自由而流利地讲下去，将近二小时之久。在我讲完之后，我的喉咙又嘶哑了，直到我再立在会众面前，这同样奇特的经验又重演了一遍。这时我才确信自己是在遵行上帝的旨意，并看到自己的努力有了显著的成效。{1T 65.3}[13]
§28
For three months my throat and lungs had been so diseased that I could talk but little, and that in a low and husky tone. On this occasion I stood up in meeting and commenced speaking in a whisper. I continued thus for about five minutes, when the soreness and obstruction left my throat and lungs, my voice became clear and strong, and I spoke with perfect ease and freedom for nearly two hours. When my message was ended, my voice was gone until I again stood before the people, when the same singular restoration was repeated. I felt a constant assurance that I was doing the will of God, and saw marked results attending my efforts.{1T 65.3}[13]
§29
后来由于天意的安排，我又有机会到缅因州的东部去。这时威廉·乔丹弟兄为了商务，准备到奥林顿城去，有他的妹妹同行，所以他们劝我同去。我既然答应主要行走祂为我所开的路，我就不敢拒绝。我在奥林顿遇见怀雅各长老。我的朋友们都认识他，那时他自己也在从事救灵工作。{1T 65.4}[14]
§30
The way providentially opened for me to go to the eastern part of Maine. Brother William Jordan was going on business to Orrington, accompanied by his sister, and I was urged to go with them. As I had promised the Lord to walk in the path He opened before me, I dared not refuse. At Orrington I met Elder James White. He was acquainted with my friends, and was himself engaged in the work of salvation.{1T 65.4}[14]
§31
上帝的灵伴随着我所传的信息；人心因真理而高兴；灰心的人得到鼓舞恢复了信仰。在加兰有一大群人从四面八方聚集来听我的信息。但我的心情很沉重；我刚接到母亲写来的一封信，恳求我回家去，因为有关于我的谣言正在流传。这是一个意外的打击。我的名字一直未蒙上指责的阴影。我非常重视自己的名誉。我也为我母亲因我的缘故受苦而难过。她的心牵挂着她的儿女，对他们的事非常敏感。当时若有机会，我会决定立刻回家；但这是不可能的。{1T 65.5}[15]
§32
The Spirit of God attended the message I bore; hearts were made glad in the truth, and the desponding ones were cheered and encouraged to renew their faith. At Garland a large number collected from different quarters to hear my message. But my heart was very heavy; I had just received a letter from my mother begging me to return home, for false reports were circulating concerning me. This was an unexpected blow. My name had always been free from the shadow of reproach, and my reputation was very dear to me. I also felt grieved that my mother should suffer on my account; her heart was bound up in her children, and she was very sensitive in regard to them. If there had been an opportunity, I should have set out for home immediately; but this was impossible.{1T 65.5}[15]
§33
我是十分难过和沮丧，当晚无法讲话。我的朋友们力劝我信赖主；最终弟兄们一同为我祈求了。主的福气不久就临到了我，于是那晚我极其流畅地作了见证。似乎有一位天使站在我旁边加给我力量。从那栋房子里传出了荣耀和胜利的欢呼声，我们感到了耶稣的临格。{1T 66.1}[16]
§34
My sorrow was so great that I felt too depressed to speak that night. My friends urged me to trust in the Lord; and at length the brethren engaged in prayer for me. The blessing of the Lord soon rested upon me, and I bore my testimony that evening with great freedom. There seemed to be an angel standing by my side to strengthen me. Shouts of glory and victory went up from that house, and the presence of Jesus was felt among us.{1T 66.1}[16]
§35
在我的工作中，我蒙召去对付一些人的做法。他们的狂热主义给圣工带来了指责。这些狂热派似乎认为宗教乃在乎激昂的情绪和喧闹。他们讲话的态度会足以刺激不信的人，使人憎恨他们和他们所传的道理。于是他们因为受了逼迫，反倒大大欢喜。不信的人在他们的行径中看不出前后一贯的信仰来。结果若干地方的弟兄们竟被禁止不能聚会。因此，没有错误的人也和犯错误的人一同受苦了。我心中时常极度沉闷；眼见基督的事业竟被一等不智之人的行径所破坏，真是极其不幸。他们非但危害了自己的心灵，也给圣工加上一个不易磨灭的污点。何况撒但正喜爱如此。他看到真理被一般心地不圣洁的人所玩弄；使真理与谬论混合，然后一同被人践踏于尘埃，这正合乎他的心意。他得意洋洋地看着上帝儿女混乱，分散的情形。{1T 66.2}[17]
§36
In my labors I was called to oppose the course of some who by their fanaticism were bringing reproach upon the cause of God. These fanatical ones seemed to think that religion consisted in great excitement and noise. They would talk in a manner that would irritate unbelievers, and cause them to hate them and the doctrines they taught; then they would rejoice that they suffered persecution. Unbelievers could see no consistency in their course. The brethren in some places were prevented from assembling for meetings. The innocent suffered with the guilty. I carried a sad and heavy heart much of the time. It seemed cruel that the cause of Christ should be injured by the course of these injudicious men. They were not only ruining their own souls, but placing upon the cause a stigma not easily removed. And Satan loved to have it so. It suited him well to see the truth handled by unsanctified men; to have it mixed with error, and then all together trampled in the dust. He looked with triumph upon the confused, scattered state of Gods children.{1T 66.2}[17]
§37
这些狂热派中的一个人竟使我的一些朋友甚至亲人反对我。因为我曾忠诚地讲述了所领受的有关他非基督化行为的指示，他便散播谎言要破坏我的影响力，证明自己是正确的。我的命运似乎很艰难。灰心的情绪重重地压着我；上帝子民的状况使我充满了痛苦，以致有两周之久我卧病在床。我的朋友们以为我不能活了；但同情我的弟兄姐妹们聚在一起为我祷告。我不久就认识到为我献上了恳切有效的祷告。强敌的势力被打破了，我得了释放，立即进入了异象。在这次的异象中，我看明如果我感到人的势力影响了我的见证，无论我在哪里，只要呼求上帝，就会有一位天使奉差来搭救我。我已经有一位守护天使不断地照顾着我。若有必要，主会差派另一位天使来救我脱离地上的一切势力。{1T 67.1}[18]
§38
One of these fanatical persons labored with some success to turn my friends and even my relatives against me. Because I had faithfully related that which was shown me respecting his unchristian course, he circulated falsehoods to destroy my influence and to justify himself. My lot seemed hard. Discouragements pressed heavily upon me; and the condition of Gods people so filled me with anguish that for two weeks I was prostrated with sickness. My friends thought I could not live; but brethren and sisters who sympathized with me in this affliction met to pray for me. I soon realized that earnest, effectual prayer was offered in my behalf. Prayer prevailed. The power of the strong foe was broken, and I was released, and immediately taken off in vision. In this view I saw that if I felt a human influence affecting my testimony, no matter where I might be, I had only to cry to God, and an angel would be sent to my rescue. I already had one guardian angel attending me continually, but when necessary, the Lord would send another to raise me above the power of every earthly influence. {1T 67.1}[18]