第29章 从苦境转回
§1
第29章 从苦境转回
§2
Chap. 29—Captivity Turned
§3
自从我们迁到巴特尔克里克以来，主就开始使我们从苦境转回。我们在密歇根州遇到一些同情我们的朋友，他们都乐意分负我们的重担并供给我们的需要。纽约州中部和新英格兰，特别是佛蒙特州的一些可靠的老朋友，很同情我们的苦难，并准备在患难中随时帮助我们。{2SG 203.1}[1]
§4
From the time we moved to Battle Creek, the Lord began to turn our captivity. We found sympathizing friends in Michigan who were ready to share our burdens, and supply our wants. Old tried friends in Central New York and New England, especially Vermont, sympathized with us in our afflictions, and liberally assisted us in time of distress.?{2SG 203.1}[1]
§5
在1856年11月巴特尔克里克会议中，上帝为我们行了奇事。上帝的仆人们用心研究了教会的恩赐。既然上帝因这些恩赐一直遭到轻视和忽视而向祂的子民表示不悦，就有祂再以笑脸对待我们的愉快前景。祂会恩慈地再次把那些恩赐赐给我们，那些恩赐也会活在教会中，鼓励灰心的人，纠正和责备犯错的人。有新的生命注入了圣工，我们的传道人的工作也有了很好的成效。我们所出版的书刊有了销路，结果证明正是圣工所亟需的，打了折扣把它们交给委员会印出来，我的丈夫就能偿清他的债务了。他的咳嗽停止了，肺部和喉部也不再疼痛了，他渐渐恢复了健康，以致在安息日和第一日都能很容易地讲道三次。这个复原的奇迹乃是出于上帝，所以一切荣耀都当归给祂。最近的四五年是我们一生最快乐的日子。{2SG 203.2}[2]
§6
At the conference at Battle Creek in November, 1856, God wrought for us. The minds of the servants of God were exercised as to the gifts of the church. If God’s frown had been brought upon his people because the gifts had been slighted and neglected, there was a pleasing prospect that his smiles would again be upon us, and he would graciously revive the gifts again, and they would live in the church, to encourage the fainting soul, and to correct and reprove the erring. New life was given to the cause, and success attended the labors of our preachers. The publications were called for, and proved to be just what the cause demanded, so that by turning them out to the Committee at a discount, my husband was enabled to pay all his debts. His cough ceased, and the pain and soreness left his lungs and throat, and he was gradually restored to health, so as?to preach three times on the Sabbath, and three times on first-day with ease. This wonderful work in his restoration is of God, and he shall have all the glory. The last four or five years have been the happiest of our life.?{2SG 203.2}[2]
§7
那伪称为《真理使者》的期刊不久就销声匿迹了，而那些借着这刊物进行宣传的捣乱分子也分散了。我们离开他们和他们所编造的谎言。他们必要向上帝交账。他们一切的罪孽都如实地记载在天上，他们必要按照他们的行为受审判。{2SG 204.1}[3]
§8
The paper called the “Messenger of Truth,” soon went down, and the discordant spirits who spoke through it are now scattered to the four winds. We leave them, with their falsehoods they have framed. They will have to render an account to God. All their sins are faithfully registered in heaven, and they will be judged according to their deeds.?{2SG 204.1}[3]
§9
《评论与通讯》、《青年导报》和书籍的出版是在极其令人气馁的境况下开始的。当时赞助和支持圣工的人很少，而且一般都是穷人，藉着极度的辛劳和节俭，真理才得以发表。有几年我们或多或少连适当的衣食都没有，并且放弃了必需的睡眠，二十四小时中有十六到十八个小时都在工作，因为缺乏推进工作的钱财和帮助。{2SG 204.2}[4]
§10
The publication of the?Review, Instructor,?and books, was commenced under most discouraging circumstances. The friends and supporters of the cause were then very few, and generally poor, and it was by extreme labor and economy that the truth was published. For several years we suffered more or less for want of suitable food and clothing, and deprived ourselves of needed sleep, laboring from sixteen to eighteen hours out of the twenty-four, for want of means and help to push forward the work.?{2SG 204.2}[4]
§11
此外，现代真理当时并不象现在这么清晰。它一直是逐渐展开的。需要大量的研究和切心的查考，才能环环相扣地把它发表出来。藉着关怀牵挂、不断的努力和压倒一切的渴望，圣工才得以推进，直到如今现代真理已经清晰明了，其证据也令正直无偏见的人确信无疑。如今做《评论与通讯》起初做的工作已经很容易了。{2SG 204.3}[5]
§12
Again, the present truth was not then as clear as it is now. It has been opening gradually. It required much study and anxious care to bring it out, link after link. By care and incessant labor, and overwhelming anxiety, has the work moved on, until now the present?truth is clear, and its evidence by the candid undoubted. And now as the present truth is brought out clear, and there are many writers, it is a light task to conduct the?Review?to what it was at the first.?{2SG 204.3}[5]
§13
在尽力使《评论与通讯》和《青年导报》的付费订户数量足以满足开支，并且发表众多传单、小册和书籍时，我丈夫几乎丧命。他便把一切都交到出版委员会手中，作为教会财产。就象一个人白手起家要改善一个新农场，及至他耗尽壮年的力量改善了它之后，便把它给了他人。自从1855年12月1日起，我的丈夫便因他在《评论与通讯》办公室的服务而每周领取四美元九美分。他本来可以多得一些，但他选择不拿。我说这些话没有一点抱怨的情绪。对我来说，在这本书中陈述事实是一件乐事。我们一直选择为圣工的益处行事。圣工的兴旺以及它真正朋友们的信任对我们来说比今生的美物有超过千倍的价值。我们得以摆脱了贫乏，而这对一切真正相信第三道信息的人来说就足够了。因此我们感到对上帝充满了感激。我在此要向我们的朋友们表示感谢。首先感谢那些借钱给我丈夫出版书报而不要利息的人。这使他能以最低的费率购买股份，发表我们大部头的书，维持他的业务以致得益。如此放在他手中的10%的利息总计近一千美元。他认为这对他来说值20%。要不是因为这样，出版社肯定已经倒闭了，除非以某种别的方式得到了扶持。其次，感谢我们众多的私人朋友，他们一直很慷慨。我给他们中的许多人寄过几辑证言，作为回报，有些人竟给我寄来十倍的款项，有些人寄得更多。一些从未帮助过我们一毛钱的人，却似乎不高兴见到我们摆脱了贫困和依赖；但是主既已使我们的私人朋友们有心帮助我们摆脱贫困，好使我们的见证不致因难堪的依赖感而受损，我就看出那些人是无可奈何的。{2SG 205.1}[6]
§14
In the struggle in bringing up the?Review?and?Instructor?where the number of paying subscribers is sufficient to meet the expenses, and in the publication of numerous tracts, pamphlets and books, my husband nearly lost his life. He then gave all away into the hands of the Publishing Committee as the property of the church. Like a man commencing in poverty to improve a new farm, and when he has spent the strength of manhood in improving it, gives it to others. Since December 1, 1855, my husband has received for his services in the?Review?Office, four dollars and nine cents a week. He might have had more, but has chosen not to take it. I do not make these statements with one murmuring feeling. It is a pleasure to me in this work to state the facts in the case. We have acted from choice for the good of the cause. Its prosperity, and the confidence of its true friends are worth a thousand times more to us than the good things of this life. We are raised above want, and this is sufficient for all true believers in the third message. For this we feel grateful to God. I would here express our gratitude to our friends. First, to those who lent my husband money to?publish without interest. This enabled him to purchase stock at the lowest rates, publish large editions of our books, and manage his business to advantage. The interest at ten per cent on money thus put into his hands would have amounted to near one thousand dollars. It was worth to him, he thinks, twenty per cent. Had it not been for this, the Office must have gone down, unless sustained in some other way. Second, our numerous personal friends, have been liberal. Many to whom I sent the several numbers of my testimonies, sent to me in return, some ten-fold, and some more. Some, who have never helped us a dime, have appeared to feel very bad to see us raised above want and dependence; but if the Lord has put it into the hearts of our personal friends to raise us above want, that our testimony may not be crippled by the galling sense of dependence, I do not see how these persons can help it.?{2SG 205.1}[6]
§15
1855年12月，我摔倒并扭伤了脚踝，使我拄了六个星期拐杖。这种限制对我的肺有害。我在痛苦的状态参加聚会，设法为一些似乎显出兴趣作基督徒的人劳苦作工，使他们受益。有一次聚会结束时我感到很疲惫，但有人邀请我们去S弟兄家探访，并为他们一些受苦的孩子祷告。我的理智告诉我，我没有力量做更多的事了；但最终还是同意去了。在祷告的时候，有什么东西似乎在撕扯我的左肺，我很痛苦。回家后，我不能进行长呼吸，我的肺似乎胀满了。我们一家俯伏在主面前恳切祈求，好使我得到缓解。我得到了缓解，但肺部却出血了。从那时起我的左肺就没有完全脱离疼痛。此后我的头又麻木沉重地痛了三个星期，疼痛就变得剧烈了。我千方百计想解除痛苦，却摆脱不了。我的大脑发炎了。我恳求在我身边的人不要上我睡着，恐怕我会永远不省人事。我不期望活着，希望在我还有理智的时候把我的时间花在与我的丈夫和孩子们谈话上，并把他们交在上帝手中。有时我神志恍惚，然后又意识到我危险的状况。我的丈夫叫了几位有信心的人来为我祷告。主的灵临到我身上，我充满感恩的感谢升达我们的大医师，祂满有仁慈地搭救了我。{2SG 206.1}[7]
§16
In December, 1855, I fell and sprained my ankle, which confined me to crutches six weeks. The confinement was an injury to my lungs. I attended meeting in my afflicted state, and tried to labor for the good of some souls who seemed to manifest interest to become Christians. At the close of one of these meetings I felt very weary, but a request came for us to visit Bro. S.’ s family, and pray for some of their children who had been afflicted. My judgment told me that I had not strength to?go farther; but finally consented to go. While praying, something seemed to tear on my left lung, and I was distressed. After I returned home I could not get a long breath. My lung seemed to be filling. Our family bowed before the Lord and earnestly prayed that I might be relieved. I found relief, but discharged blood from my lung. I have not been entirely free from pain in the left lung since that time. After this I suffered with a dull, heavy pain in my head for three weeks, when the pain became intense. I tried every means in my power to remove the distress, but it overcame me. It was inflammation on the brain. I entreated those around me not to let me sleep, fearing I should never wake to consciousness. I did not expect to live, and wished to spend my moments while reason lasted in talking with my husband and children, and giving them up into the hands of God. At times my mind wandered, and then again I realized my critical situation. My husband called for a few who had faith to pray for me. The Spirit of the Lord rested upon me, and my grateful thanks ascended to our great Physician who had mercifully relieved me.?{2SG 206.1}[7]
§17
1856年5月在巴特尔克里克举行了一次集会。我们在非常忙碌地为聚会作准备时，约有二十个月大的小威利正在屋子周围玩耍，我震惊地听到了一声痛苦的尖叫。简.弗雷泽姐妹把我的小孩子带到我面前，显然没命了。他被发现头朝下掉在一个浴缸里。弗雷泽姐妹注意到一种微弱的咯咯声。他的小胳膊小脸成了紫色的，显然没有气息了。我们割开他的湿衣服，并在草地上滚动他，那时他显出了一丝生气。我们把他带到火炉前，用加热的法兰绒给他的身体产生一些热量。他呼吸得很困难。我亲吻了他，他无力地睁开了双眼，设法用他苍白冰冷的嘴唇回报爱的记号。{2SG 207.1}[8]
§18
A conference was held at Battle Creek in May, 1856. While we were very busy preparing for the meeting, and little Willie, then about twenty months old, was playing around the house, I was startled by a scream of?distress. My little boy was brought to me by Sr. Jane Fraser apparently lifeless. He was found standing upon his head in a tub of water. The attention of Sr. F. was arrested by a faint gurgling sound. His little arms and face were purple, and he was entirely breathless. We cut off his wet clothes, and rolled him on the grass, when he manifested a faint sign of life. We took him before a fire, and by heating flannels produced some heat in his body. He breathed with difficulty. I kissed him, and he opened his eyes languidly, and tried to return the token of affection with his pale cold lips.?{2SG 207.1}[8]
§19
主保留了我们爱婴的性命，尽管一切外在的表象都显明他已在死亡的怀抱中了。我们对上帝多么感恩啊，因祂怜悯我们。当我在寂静的晚上听到喊声说：“孩子丢了！”的时候，感到心情很沉重，然后便听到有人描述某个母亲的小孩命运不定。我把我的小威利搂在胸前，想到我们几乎失去我们亲爱的儿子。{2SG 208.1}[9]
§20
The Lord spared our dear babe to us, when to all appearance he was already in death’s cold embrace. O how grateful we felt to God for his mercy to us. I felt very solemn as I heard in the still evening the cry, “Child lost!” and then the description of some mother’s little one, whose fate was in uncertainty. I clasped my little Willie to my heart, and thought how near we came to losing our dear boy.?{2SG 208.1}[9]
§21
但我们还要经历另一次严峻的考验。主在聚会时赐给我一个非常严肃的异象。我看到在场的有些人会成为虫子的食物，有些人会遭受七大灾，有些人会在基督复临时得以变化升天，不尝死味。班斐姐妹在我们离开礼拜堂时对一位姐妹说：“我感到我是一个不久就会成为虫子的食物的人。”聚会星期一结束。星期二班斐姐妹显然健康地与我们一同用餐。然后她照常去了出版社，帮助发表报刊。约两小时后我就被叫去了。班斐姐妹突然病得很重。我的健康虽然很差，还是赶紧到受苦的克莱拉那里去。几小时后她似乎好些了。第二天早上我们把她放在一把大椅子里带回家，把她放在她自己的床上，她就再也没有起来了。她的症状变得很令人担忧，我们担心已经烦扰她近十年的那个肿瘤在体内破裂了。确实是这样，而且坏疽在发展。{2SG 208.2}[10]
§22
But we were yet to pass through another severe trial. At the conference a very solemn vision was given me. I saw that some of those present would be food for worms, some subjects for the seven last plagues, and some would be translated to heaven at the second coming of Christ, without seeing death. Sr. Bonfoey remarked to a sister as we left the meeting-house, “I feel impressed that I am one that?will soon be food for worms.” The conference closed Monday. Thursday Sr. B. sat at the table with us apparently well. She then went to the Office as usual, to help get off the paper. In about two hours I was sent for. Sr. B. had been suddenly taken very ill. My health had been very poor, yet I hastened to suffering Clara. In a few hours she seemed some better. The next morning we had her brought home in a large chair, and she was laid upon her own bed from which she was never to rise. Her symptoms became alarming, and we had fears that a tumor, which had troubled her for nearly ten years, had broken inwardly. It was so, and mortification was doing its work.?{2SG 208.2}[10]
§23
星期五约七点钟的时候她睡着了。她一直保持清醒，直到瞑目。她说她的人生旅程就要结束了，还说她一点都不害怕死亡。我们同心合意祷告，她作了回应。她亲吻了我们，并向我们深情地告别。她似乎很挂念我的健康状况，要是我显出痛苦她就感到忧伤。我们没有为她的去世准备好。失去她是活生生的损失。她八年来分享了我们的喜乐，分担了我们的磨难，从未有过不忠实的表现。我们想念她愉快的陪伴，她姐妹般的友爱，和她在我们家中的操劳。我们把她安葬在巴特尔克里克的墓地，直到睡了的圣徒醒来得到永生的时候。{2SG 209.1}[11]
§24
Friday about seven o’clock she fell asleep. She had her senses until her eyes closed in death. She stated that her pilgrimage was almost ended, and that she had no fears of death. We united in prayer, and she responded. She kissed us, and bid us an affectionate farewell. She seemed very solicitous for my health, and was grieved if I manifested distress. We were unprepared for her death. To lose her, was a living loss. Eight years she had shared our joys and trials, and she had never proved untrue. We have missed her cheerful society, and her sisterly affection, and her care in our family. We laid her in Battle Creek burying-ground to rest until the sleeping saints awake to immortality.?{2SG 209.1}[11]
§25
紧接着班斐姐妹去世，我的健康状况迅速衰败下去。我咳嗽得很厉害，还咳出了血。我以为我不久就会跟着她下到坟墓里去了。在蒙特里有一场帐篷大会，我们受邀去参加。我最担心的是我的孩子们。我怎么能离开他们呢？他们一直那么缺少我们的关照，他们需要有一个能对他们感到关心之人的关照。我带着一位母亲最痛楚的感情离开了他们，并且这样想：我这次离开他们，或许不会蒙允许活着回到他们身边了。一位姐妹使我确信我的孩子们不需要我操心，他们会得到特别的照顾。我很痛苦地乘车去了蒙特里，几乎咳嗽不停。{2SG 210.1}[12]
§26
Immediately after Sr. B.’s death, my health failed rapidly. I had a severe cough, and raised some blood. I thought I should soon follow her to the grave. There was to be a tent meeting at Monterey, and we were invited to attend. My children were my greatest anxiety. How could I leave them? They had been deprived of our care so much, that they needed attention from one that could feel an interest for them. I left them, with a mother’s keenest feelings, and thought, as I parted with them that I might not be permitted to return to them alive. I was assured by one of the sisters, that my children need not trouble my mind, that they would have especial care for them. I rode in much suffering to Monterey, coughing almost incessantly.?{2SG 210.1}[12]
§27
安息日早上我们去一个小树林祷告。我们不久就要到帐篷那里去，我非常疲惫，每次都不能长时间坐着。我们想要恳求主赐下祂扶持的恩典。我们在那里把我的情况交给了主，并且要求祂赐力量和恩典的应许。祂在地上时总是同情人类的祸患。主的灵临到我身上，我们便坚定地倚靠上帝的应许，前去聚会了。我在那次聚会中作了五次见证，并且继续健壮起来。我的咳嗽虽然没有立刻离开我，但我知道主已赐给我力量，因为我需要力量；惟有祂的能力才使我完成了那次聚会。{2SG 210.2}[13]
§28
Sabbath morning we went into a grove to have a season of prayer. We were soon to go to the tent, and I was so weak that it was impossible for me to sit up long at a time. We felt like pleading with the Lord for his sustaining grace. We there committed my case to Him who while on earth was ever touched with human woe, and claimed the promises for strength and grace. The Spirit of the Lord rested upon me, and with a firm trust in the promises of God, we went to the meeting. I bore my testimony during that meeting five times, and continued to grow stronger. My cough did not leave me at once, yet I knew?the Lord had given me strength as I needed it; for nothing but his power could have carried me through that meeting.?{2SG 210.2}[13]
§29
我回到家的时候，发现我的孩子们已被我们曾确信会给予照顾的人们忽视了。我感到忧伤。我最担心的就是我的孩子们，要培养他们没有坏习惯。我们的工作一直要旅行，然后要写作和出版。亨利曾离开我们五年，埃德森也只得到我们很少的照顾。在罗彻斯特，多年以来我们的家庭人口多。家就象一个旅馆，而且我们许多时候都不在家。当我想到我的处境与别人的反差时，常常感到忧伤，别人不必操心负责，总能与自己的孩子在一起，劝勉并指教他们，几乎把他们的时间都花在自己的家庭里。我也曾问过：上帝岂是这么需要我们，而不让别人背负担子吗？这公平吗？我们就得这样从一件操心的事忙到另一件操心的事，从一部分工作赶到另一部分工作，几乎没有时间养育我们的孩子吗？许多夜晚，在别人熟睡时，我却痛苦哭泣。我会规划某种对我的孩子们更为有利的课程，然而不利的环境往往把这些计划一扫而空。我对孩子的过失非常敏感，他们犯的每一个错误都使我心痛，以致影响我的健康。{2SG 211.1}[14]
§30
When I returned home, I found that my children had been neglected by those who had assured me that they should be cared for. I felt grieved. My greatest anxiety had been for my children, to bring them up free from evil habits. Our work had been to travel, and then write and publish. Henry had been from us five years, and Edson had received but little of our care. For years at Rochester, our family was very large, and our home like a tavern, and we from home much of the time. I often felt grieved as I thought of others who would not take burdens and cares, who could ever be with their children, to counsel and instruct them, and to spend their time almost exclusively in their own families. And I have inquired, Does God require so much of us, and leave others without burdens? Is this equal? Are we to be thus hurried on from one care to another, one part of the work to another, and have but little time to bring up our children? Many nights, while others have been sleeping, have been spent by me in bitter weeping. I would plan and frame some course more for the advantage of my children, then objections would arise which would sweep away these calculations. I was keenly sensitive to wrongs in my children, and every wrong they committed?brought on me such heart ache as to affect my health.?{2SG 211.1}[14]
§31
我希望有些母亲能短时间处在我多年所处在的状况之下；那样她们就会重视她们所享有的福惠，也能更好地同情我的困窘。我们为自己的孩子祈祷操劳，并且约束了他们。我们没有忽略刑杖，但在使用之前先设法使他们看到自己的过失，然后与他们一同祈祷。我们力求使孩子明白，如果我们原谅他们的罪恶，上帝就不悦纳。我们的努力对他们有好处。他们最大的快乐就是让我们快乐。他们虽难免犯错，但我们相信他们仍是基督羊圈里的羔羊。{2SG 212.1}[15]
§32
I have wished that some mothers could be circumstanced for a short time as I have been for years, then they would prize the blessings they enjoy, and could better sympathize with me in my privations. We have prayed and labored for our children, and have restrained them. We have not neglected the rod, but before using it have first labored to have them see their faults, and then have prayed with them. We have our children understand that we should merit the displeasure of God, if we excused them in sin. And our efforts have been blessed to the good of our children. Their greatest pleasure is to please us. They are not free from faults, but we believe that they will yet be numbered with the lambs of Christ’s fold.?{2SG 212.1}[15]