第28章 最严峻的考验
§1
第28章 最严峻的考验
§2
Chap. 28—Extreme Trials
§3
安娜死后，我丈夫的健康状况变得很差了。他受着咳嗽和肺部疼痛的困扰，神经也非常衰弱。他心中的忧虑，他在罗彻斯特所负的重担，他在印刷所的操劳，家中的疾病与重复的死亡，那些本应分担他劳苦之人的缺乏同情，再加上他的旅行和传道，过于他的力量所能承受的，他似乎要跟着拿但业和安娜迅速下到肺结核病患者的坟墓里了。那是一段阴沉黑暗的时期。幸有少许光线偶尔穿过厚云给我们一点儿希望，否则我们就会沉在绝望中了。似乎有时上帝已丢弃了我们。{2SG 194.2}[1]
§4
After Anna’s death, my husband’s health became very poor. He was troubled with cough and soreness of lungs, and his nervous system was prostrated. His anxiety of mind, the burdens which he bore in Rochester, his labor in the Office, the sickness and repeated?deaths in the family, the lack of sympathy from those who should have shared his labors, together with his traveling and preaching, were too much for his strength, and he seemed to be fast following Nathaniel and Anna to a consumptive’s grave. It was a time of thick gloom and darkness. A few rays of light occasionally parted these heavy clouds, giving us a little hope, or we should have sunk in despair. It seemed at times that God had forsaken us.?{2SG 194.2}[1]
§5
“信使”党的人大多因他们的错误而藉着异象受到了责备，他们虚构了各式各样关于我们和异象的谎言。诗篇37:1,2的话常常有力地显在我心中：“不要为作恶的心怀不平，也不要向那行不义的生出嫉妒。因为他们如草快被割下，又如青菜快要枯干。”{2SG 195.1}[2]
§6
The “Messenger” party, the most of whom had been reproved through visions for their wrongs, framed all manner of falsehoods concerning us, and concerning the visions.?Psalm 32:1, 2, was often brought forcibly to my mind. “Fret not thyself because of evil doers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity, for they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.”?{2SG 195.1}[2]
§7
那份小报（《信使》）的一些作者甚至向我丈夫的病弱夸胜，说上帝会关照他，把他从路上除掉的。当他在卧病时读到这个时，他的感受有些象威克里夫卧病时曾感受过的。（僧侣和政府官员们“赶紧来到这个垂死的人床边，想要用上天的报复吓唬他。”他们说：“死亡快要临到你了，务要觉悟自己的错误，并当着我们，将你诋毁我们的言论全部收回。”“他请侍候他的人扶他起坐。他虽虚弱而苍白，几乎坐不住，却转向正等着他取消前言的僧侣们，张开他青紫色的嘴唇，用锐利的目光凝视了他们一眼，有力地说：‘我是不会死的，却要活下去，并且再控诉僧侣们的罪恶。’”他们慌乱地离开了房间，而这位改革家则复原了，得以去做他最重要的工作。——D AUBIGNE《宗教改革史》卷五，第93页。）他的信心复苏了，感叹道：“我不会死，而会活着，并且宣扬主的作为，可能还要在他们的葬礼上讲道。”{2SG 195.2}[3]
§8
Some of the writers of the “Messenger” even triumphed over the feebleness of my husband, saying, that God will take care of him, and remove him out of the way. When he read this he felt some as Wickliffe did as he lay sick. [Monks and Alderman “hastened to the bedside of the dying man, hoping to frighten him with the vengeance of heaven.” Said they, “You have death on your lips, be touched by your faults, and retract in our presence all you have said to our injury.” “He begged his servants to raise him on his couch. Then feeble and pale, and scarcely able to support himself, he turned towards the friars who were waiting his recantation, and opening his livid lips, and fixing on them a piercing look, he said with emphasis, ‘I shall not die, but live, and again declare the evil deeds of the friars.’” They left the room in confusion, and the reformer recovered to perform his most important labors.—D’ Aubigne’s History of the Reformation 5:93.] Faith revived, and my husband exclaimed,?“I shall not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord and may yet preach their funeral sermon.”?{2SG 195.2}[3]
§9
最黑暗的乌云似乎要罩住我们。自称敬虔的恶人们在撒但的指挥下匆匆编造谎言，集结他们的势力与我们作对。上帝的圣工若只是我们的事业，我们就早已战兢了；但它是在那能说“谁也不能把它从我手中夺去”的主手里。我们知道耶稣活着作王。我们能在主面前说：这圣工是祢的，祢知道它并不是我们自己的选择，而是因祢的命令，我们才在其中尽我们的本分。{2SG 196.1}[4]
§10
The darkest clouds seemed to shut down over us. Wicked men, professing godliness, under the command of Satan, were hurried on to forge falsehoods, and to bring the strength of their forces against us. If the cause of God had been ours alone, we might have trembled; but it was in the hands of Him who could say, No one is able to pluck it out of my hands. Jesus lives and reigns. We could say before the Lord, The cause is thine, and thou knowest that it has not been our own choice, but by thy command we have acted the part we have in it.?{2SG 196.1}[4]
§11
我丈夫的身体变得很虚弱，以致他决心解脱出版工作的责任，那些责任一直驱策着他。他曾是《评论与通讯》的编者和业主，直到发行到了第七卷第9期。从来没有一个人要求把《评论与通讯》、《青年导报》和书籍的出版交到别人手中，或离开编者的岗位。没有一个人向他提出过这类建议，是他自己决定解脱出来，且使出版社建得超越那些曾叫嚷“投机！”之人的影响。他从未声称出版社的财产是自己的，因为已经将之捐献用来使圣工受益。他号召教会接管在罗彻斯特的出版社，并把它建在他们中意的地方，他还提议由一个出版委员会来管理出版社，凡在出版社工作的人都不应从中获得私人利益。由于没有其他人主张这个权利，密歇根州的弟兄就为出版社迁到巴特尔克里克去开了路。那时我的丈夫负债二三千元；除了手中一点存书之外，他只有一些应收的账目，其中有一些还是不容易收回来的。圣工似乎停顿下来了。外面寄来购买书报的订单寥寥无几，数额又小。我丈夫担心他会负债而死。密歇根州的弟兄们帮助我们买了一块地，建了一栋房子，且是以我的名义做的，好使我在我丈夫死后可以任意处置它。{2SG 196.2}[5]
§12
My husband became so feeble that he resolved to free himself from the responsibilities of publishing, which had been urged upon him. He was editor and proprietor of the?Review and Herald,?until it reached Vol. vii, No. 9. No one ever asked him to give the?Review, Instructor,?and the publication of books, into other hands, or leave the position of editor. No one suggested anything of the kind to him. It?was his choice that he might be relieved, and that the Office might be established beyond the influence of those men who had cried, Speculation! He never claimed the property in the Office which had been donated to be used for the benefit of the cause. He called upon the church to take the Office at Rochester, and establish it where they pleased, and suggested that it be managed by a publishing committee, and that no one connected with the Office should have personal interest in it. As no others claimed the privilege, the brethren in Michigan opened the way for the Office to come to Battle Creek. At that time my husband was owing between two and three thousand dollars, and all he had beside the books on hand, was accounts for books, and some of them doubtful. The cause had apparently come to a halt, and orders for publications were very few and small, and my husband feared that he would die in debt. Brethren in Michigan assisted us in obtaining a lot, and building a house, and the deed was made out in my name, so that I could dispose of it at pleasure after the death of my husband.?{2SG 196.2}[5]
§13
那时真是悲惨的日子。我看着三个我所担心或许将要变成孤儿的孩子，便有以下的思想袭上心头：我的丈夫将要在现代真理的事业上因操劳过度而逝世，但谁能体念到他所忍受的一切呢？谁晓得他多年所肩负的重担，以及那压伤他心灵，破坏他健康，使他折于盛年，以致令家属沦于困苦穷乏无依无靠的极度操劳呢？一些本应在这种难熬的时期支持他，并用鼓励和同情的话语帮助他担负重担的人，却象约伯的慰问者们一样，信口控告他，加重他身上的担子。我时常自问：难道上帝不理会这些事么？难道祂一点也不注意到么？结果我得了安慰，因为确知有一位凭公义审判的主；每一次的牺牲，每一次的克己，以及为祂所忍受的每一痛苦，都必据实地记录在天，而且终必得到赏赐。主的大日将要暴露并宣布许多目前还没有显明的事。{2SG 197.1}[6]
§14
Those were days of sadness. I looked upon my three little boys, soon, as I feared, to be left fatherless, and thoughts like these forced themselves upon me. My husband dies a martyr to the cause of present truth; and who realizes what he has suffered, the burdens he has?for years borne, the extreme care which has crushed his spirits, and ruined his health, bringing him to an untimely grave, leaving his family destitute and dependent? Some who should have stood by him in this trying time, and with words of encouragement and sympathy helped him to bear the burdens, were like Job’s comforters, who were ready to accuse and press the weight upon him still heavier. I have often asked the question, Does God have no care for these things? Does he pass them by unnoticed? I was comforted to know that there was One who judgeth righteously, and that every sacrifice, every self-denial, and every pang of anguish endured for his sake, was faithfully chronicled in heaven, and would bring its reward. The day of the Lord will declare and bring to light things that are not yet made manifest.?{2SG 197.1}[6]
§15
约在此时，我蒙指示看见我的丈夫不可在讲道上操劳，也不可亲手劳动。一点儿操劳就会使他处于不可救药的状况。他因此哭泣叹息，说：“那么我必须变成一个教会乞丐吗？”我又蒙指示，得悉上帝定意使我的丈夫渐渐复原；故此我们必须运用坚强的信心，因为在每一次的努力中，我们将要被撒但狠狠地攻击；所以我们不可看表面的现象，却要有信心。我们一天三次独自到上帝面前，为他恢复健康而恳切祷告。这是我们恳求的全部负担，我们俩常有一个人会因上帝的能力而仆倒。主开恩垂听了我们恳切的呼求，我丈夫开始好转了。有许多月份我们的祷告一日三次升达上天，求得健康好遵行上帝的旨意。这些祷告良辰非常宝贵。我们得以与上帝庄严地亲近，并与祂有美好的交通。{2SG 198.1}[7]
§16
About this time I was shown that my husband must not labor in preaching, or with his hands. That a little over exercise then would place him in a hopeless condition. At this he wept and groaned. Said he, “Must I then become a church pauper?” Again I was shown that God designed to raise him up gradually. That we must exercise strong faith, for in every effort we should be fiercely buffeted by Satan. That we must look away from outward appearance, and believe. Three times a day we went alone before God, and engaged in?earnest prayer for the recovery of his health. This was the whole burden of our petitions, and frequently one of us would be prostrated by the power of God. The Lord graciously heard our earnest cries, and my husband began to recover. For many months our prayers ascended to heaven three times a day for health to do the will of God. These seasons of prayer were very precious. We were brought into a sacred nearness to God, and had sweet communion with him.?{2SG 198.1}[7]
§17
从我所写给豪兰姊妹的信中所抄录的下列几段话，最能充分表达我当时的心情：{2SG 199.1}[8]
§18
I cannot better state my feelings at this time than they are expressed in the following extracts from a letter I wrote to Sr. Howland:?{2SG 199.1}[8]
§19
“我感谢上帝，现在我能和自己的孩子在一起，亲自照料他们，以正确的方式更好地训练他们。几个星期以来，我常如饥似渴地羡慕救恩，我们几乎是不间断地得享受与上帝交往。在我们能来到泉源之前畅饮的时候，我们为什么不来呢？在仓房装满食物的时候，我们为什么要饿死呢？这是丰富而白白赐予的。我的心哪，务要充分享受，每日畅饮天国的喜乐！我决不缄默。赞美上帝的声音充满我的心和我的口。我们尽可因救主丰满的慈爱而欢乐。我们尽可充分享受祂超卓的荣耀。我的心灵要为这事作见证。我的幽暗已经被这宝贵的明光驱散了，我永远不会忘记这事。主啊，求祢帮助我将这一切栩栩如生地存记在心。我心灵中一切的精力啊，要醒起！醒起，并因你救赎主奇妙的慈爱而敬慕祂！{2SG 199.2}[9]
§20
“I feel thankful that I can now have my children with me, under my own watchcare, and can better train them in the right way. For weeks I have felt a hungering and thirsting for salvation, and we have enjoyed almost uninterrupted communion with God. Why do we stay away from the fountain when we can come and drink? Why do we die for bread when there is a storehouse full? It is rich and free. O my soul, feast upon it, and daily drink in heavenly joys. I will not hold my peace. The praise of God is in my heart, and upon my lips. We can rejoice in the fullness of our Saviour’s love. We can feast upon his excellent glory. My soul testifies to this. My gloom has been dispersed by this precious light, and I can never forget it. Lord?help me to keep it in lively remembrance. Awake, all the energies of my soul! Awake, and adore thy Redeemer for his wondrous love.?{2SG 199.2}[9]
§21
“必须唤醒并拯救我们周围的人，否则他们就必灭亡。没有一刻工夫可以浪费。我们都有一种或支持或反对真理的感化力。我渴望随身带有明白的证据，证明我是基督的一个门徒。{2SG 200.1}[10]
§22
“Souls around us must be aroused and saved, or they perish. Not a moment have we to lose. We all have an influence that tells for the truth, or against it. I desire to carry with me unmistakable evidences that I am one of Christ’s disciples.?{2SG 200.1}[10]
§23
“我们需要某种安息日宗教之外的东西。我们需要活泼的原则，每日感到个人的责任。许多人都躲避这个，结果就是粗心疏忽，漠不关心，缺乏警醒和灵性。教会的灵性在哪儿呢？充满信心和圣灵的人在哪儿呢？我的祈祷是：上帝啊，净化祢的教会。数月来我一直享有自由，我决心在主面前摆正我的言谈和我一切的作为。{2SG 200.2}[11]
§24
“We want something besides Sabbath religion. We want the living principle, and to daily feel individual responsibility. This is shunned by many, and the fruit is carelessness, indifference, a lack of watchfulness and spirituality. Where is the spirituality of the church? Where are men and women full of faith and the holy Spirit? My prayer is, Purify thy church, O God. For months I have enjoyed freedom, and I am determined to order my conversation, and all my ways, aright before the Lord.?{2SG 200.2}[11]
§25
“我们的敌人或许要夸胜。他们或许要说苦毒的话，他们或许要口吐诽谤、诡诈和虚谎：但我们决不动摇。我们知道我们所信的是谁。我们没有空跑，也没有徒劳。结账的日子将要来到，那时人人都要按着本身所行的受报。世界固然黑暗；反对可能愈演愈烈。不务正业和好讥诮的人可能在他们的罪中胆大妄为。然而为这一切，我们决不动摇，却要依靠全能者的膀臂而重新得力。{2SG 200.3}[12]
§26
“Our enemies may triumph. They may speak lying words, and their tongue frame slander, deceit and falsehood, yet will we not be moved. We know in whom we have believed. We have not run in vain, neither labored in vain. A reckoning day is coming, and all will be judged according to the deeds done in the body. It is true the world is dark. Opposition may wax strong. The trifler and scorner?may grow bold in their iniquity, yet for all this we will not be moved, but lean upon the arm of the Mighty One for strength.?{2SG 200.3}[12]
§27
“上帝在筛选祂的子民。祂将拥有一个清白圣洁的教会。我们不能读懂人的心。但主已提供了保持教会纯洁的方法。一班败坏的人已经起来，他们不能与上帝的子民同住。他们轻视责备，不愿被纠正。他们有机会知道自己从事的是一场不义的战争。他们曾有时间悔改自己的错误；但他们太爱自我了，不肯让它死去。他们滋养它，使它长得强壮，他们与上帝信赖的子民分离，就是与上帝正在净化归祂自己的子民分离。我们都有理由感谢上帝，因为已经开了一条路，要拯救教会；因为这些败坏的妄求者若仍与我们在一起，上帝的忿怒就必定临到我们。每一位可能会被这些不满的人欺骗的正直人，若有天使访问他们，启迪他们的心，就会看到这些人的真相。我们在这件事上没有什么好担心的。{2SG 201.1}[13]
§28
“God is sifting his people. He will have a clean and holy people. We cannot read the heart of man. But he has provided means to keep the church pure. A corrupt people has arisen who could not live with the people of God. They despised reproof, and would not be corrected. They had an opportunity to know that their warfare was an unrighteous one. They had time to repent of their wrongs; but self was too dear to die. They nourished it, and it grew strong, and they separated from the peculiar people of God, whom he was purifying unto himself. We all have reason to thank God that a way has been opened to save the church, for the wrath of God must have come upon us, if these corrupt individuals had remained with us. Every honest one that may be deceived by these disaffected ones, will have the true light in regard to them if every angel from heaven has to visit them, and enlighten their minds. We have nothing to fear in this matter.?{2SG 201.1}[13]
§29
“当我们接近审判时，所有的人都会表现出他们的真相，也会显明他们是属于什么团体。筛子在摇。我们不要说：上帝啊，住手。我们不知道人的心。教会必须被净化，它也必被净化。上帝在作王；但愿百姓都赞美祂。我一点儿没有消沉的想法。我想要成义和行义。审判要开始，案卷要展开，我们要照我们的行为受审判。针对我编造的一切谎言都不会使我更坏，也不会使我更好，只会使我更接近我的救赎主。”{2SG 201.2}[14]
§30
“As we near the judgment all will manifest their true character, and it will be made plain to what company they belong. The sieve is going; let us not say, Stay thy hand, O God. We know not the heart of man. The church must be purged, and will be. God reigns, let?the people praise him. I have not the most distant thought of sinking down. I mean to be right and do right. The judgment is to set, and the books be opened, and we judged according to our deeds. All the falsehoods that may be framed against me will not make me any worse, nor any better, unless they have a tendency to drive me nearer my Redeemer.”?{2SG 201.2}[14]
§31
下文摘自我为《评论与通讯》写的一篇文章，发表于1856年1月10日：{2SG 202.1}[15]
§32
The following is from an article I wrote for the?Review,?published January 10, 1856:?{2SG 202.1}[15]
§33
“过去的几周我们感受到了上帝的能力和福气。上帝一直是非常仁慈的。祂以一种奇妙的方式为我的丈夫行了事。我们用信心的膀臂把他带到我们的大医师面前，并象盲人巴底买一样呼求说：‘大卫的子孙耶稣啊！可怜我们吧’（参 可10:47）！我们便得了安慰。我们感受到了上帝的医治之能。所有的药物都一直被丢在一边，我们惟独依赖我们大医师的膀臂。我们还没有感到满足。我们的信心说：‘要完全恢复。’我们已见到上帝的救恩，可是我们期望见到并感到更多。我毫无疑惑地相信我的丈夫还会向世界发出最后警告的信息。过去的几周我们的平安如江河。我们的心灵在上帝里夸胜。我心里充满了感恩，说不出来的感恩，因为我们最近感受到看到了上帝之爱的记号。我们意欲重新把自己献给上帝。”{2SG 202.2}[16]
§34
“We have felt the power and blessing of God for a few weeks past. God has been very merciful. He has wrought in a wonderful manner for my husband. We have brought him to our great Physician in the arms of our faith, and like blind Bartimaeus have cried. ‘Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on us;’ and we have been comforted. The healing power of God has been felt. All medicine has been laid aside, and we rely alone upon the arm of our great Physician. We are not yet satisfied. Our faith says, Entire restoration. We have seen the salvation of God, yet we expect to see and feel more. I believe without a doubt that my husband will yet be able to sound the last notes of warning to the world. For weeks past our peace has been like a river. Our souls triumph in God. Gratitude, unspeakable gratitude fills my soul for the tokens of God’s love which we have of late felt and seen. We feel like dedicating ourselves anew to God.”?{2SG 202.2}[16]