第19章 访问佛蒙特州和缅因州
§1
第19章 访问佛蒙特州和缅因州
§2
Chap. 19—Visit to Vermont and Maine
§3
我们在纽约州奥斯威戈的时候，决定访问佛蒙特和缅因两州。我把我九个月的小埃德森交托班斐姊妹抚养，我们则出去执行上帝的旨意。那时的工作要比现在辛苦得多。我们辛勤地劳碌，遭受许多的困难，而结果只有少许的成绩。我们发现弟兄姊妹们都处于散漫和混乱的状态中。几乎每一个人都受了某种异端的影响，而且人人似乎都很热心坚持自己的主张。我们常受到精神上极度的痛苦，因为只有很少的人愿意聆听圣经的真理，却很热切地接受异端和狂热的蛊惑。我们后来必须按驿站冗长的路线坐马车旅行四十英里，到约好的萨顿去应邀讲道。我的丈夫时刻担心我会晕过去，常常低声对我说要对上帝有信心。我们静默然而恳切的祷告上达天庭，求得力量忍受旅途劳顿。每十英里都要更换马匹，这使我大得解脱，因为我能进入一个旅馆，躺下休息几分钟。主听了我们的祷告，加给我力量完成了行程。{2SG 127.1}[1]
§4
While in Oswego, N. Y., we decided to visit Vermont and Maine. I left my little Edson, then nine months old, in the care of Sr. Bonfoey, while we went on our way to do the will of God. It was much harder laboring then than it is now. We labored very hard, suffering many privations, to accomplish but little. We found the brethren and sisters in a scattered and confused state. Almost every one was affected by some error, and all seemed zealous for their own opinions. We often suffered intense anguish of mind to meet with so few who were ready to listen to Bible truth, while they eagerly cherished error and fanaticism. We were obliged to make a tedious route of forty miles by stage to get to Sutton, the place of our appointment. I was sick, and traveled in much pain. My husband feared?every moment that I would faint, and often whispered to me to have faith in God. Our silent yet earnest prayers were going up to heaven for strength to endure. Every ten miles the horses were changed, which was a great relief to me, as I could step into a hotel and rest a few minutes, by lying down. The Lord heard us pray, and strengthened me to finish the journey.?{2SG 127.1}[1]
§5
我们到达聚会的地方头一夜，有沮丧的情绪压着我。我想胜过它，但似乎无法控制自己的思想。我的两个孩子常浮现在我的心头。一个已经两岁零八个月了，留在缅因州，另一个九个月的婴孩，放在纽约州。我们方才作了一次冗长乏味的旅行。我想到那些在安定的家庭中与儿女共处的人们。我回顾我们过去的生活，想起一位姊妹前几天所讲的话，说我能一无挂虑地到处游历，必是很愉快的。这是她所最羡慕的生活。正在那时，我的内心却渴念自己的孩子，特别是我那留在纽约州的婴儿；那时我刚从卧房里出来，我曾在那里与自己的情绪争斗，流泪祈求主赐我力量抑制我埋怨的心理，使我可以高兴地为耶稣的缘故克己牺牲。我想或许人人都这么看待我的旅行，一点没有想到到处旅行、面对冷淡的心肠、冷漠的表情和强硬的言辞、与我心中时刻牵挂着的人分离所必需的舍己和牺牲。{2SG 128.1}[2]
§6
The first night despondency pressed upon me. I tried to overcome it, but it seemed impossible to control my thoughts. My little ones burdened my mind. We had left one in the State of Maine, two years and eight months old, and another babe in New York, nine months old. We had just performed a tedious journey. I thought of those who were enjoying the society of their children in their own quiet homes. I reviewed our past life, called to mind expressions which had been made by a sister only a few days before, who thought it must be very pleasant to be riding through the country without anything to trouble me. It was just such a life as she should delight in. At that very time my heart had just been yearning for my children, especially my babe, in New York, and I had just come from my sleeping room where I had been battling with my feelings, and with many tears had besought the Lord for strength to subdue all murmuring, and cheerfully deny myself for Jesus’ sake. I?thought that perhaps all regarded my journeyings in this light, and have not the least idea of the self-denial and sacrifice required to journey from place to place, meeting cold hearts, distant looks and severe speeches, separated from those who are closely entwined around my heart.?{2SG 128.1}[2]
§7
当我们驱车旅行时，我无法坐起来，我丈夫在坐位上为我铺了一个床，我躺了下来，我的头和心都在疼痛。我最怕的是为别人担的担子。内心的痛苦是我的命份。这一切的事那天晚上都来到我面前，我发现自己在说：“不值得！不值得！这么多工作成就却那么少。”{2SG 129.1}[3]
§8
While riding in the cars I was unable to sit up. My husband made a bed on the seat, and I laid down with aching head and heart. The burden borne for others I dreaded above everything else. Agony of mind was my lot. All these things came before me that night, and I found myself saying, “It won’t pay! It won’t pay! So much labor to accomplish so little.”?{2SG 129.1}[3]
§9
在这种情形之下我睡着了，梦见一位身材高大的天使站在我身旁，问我为什么忧伤，我把那搅扰我的思想告诉他，并说：“我所能成就的善工太少了，为什么我们不能和自己的孩子在一起享受天伦之乐呢？”天使说：“你已经献给主两朵美丽的鲜花，花的芬芳在祂面前犹如馨香之气，在祂看来远比金银更为宝贵。因为它是甘心奉献的。它比任何其他的牺牲更足以试验人的心情。你不可只看外表，却要专心尽到本分，专求荣耀上帝，遵循祂为你打开的路，这样你的前途就必愈显光明。每一次的克己，每一次的牺牲，都是准确地记录下来的，也必得到赏赐。”{2SG 129.2}[4]
§10
In this state of mind I fell asleep and dreamed that a tall angel stood by my side, and asked me why I was sad. I related to him the thoughts that had troubled me, and said, “I can do so little good, why may we not be with our children, and enjoy their society?” Said he, “You have given to the Lord two beautiful flowers, the fragrance of which is as sweet incense before him, and is more precious in his sight than gold or silver, for it is a heart gift. It draws upon every fibre of the heart as no other sacrifice can. You should not look upon present appearances, but keep the eye single to your duty, single to God’s glory, and follow in his opening providence, and the path shall brighten before you. Every self-denial,?every sacrifice is faithfully recorded, and will bring its reward.”?{2SG 129.2}[4]
§11
主很赐福给我们在萨顿所开的会，会后我便到加拿大东部去了。当时我的喉咙有病，使我不能大声讲话，就是低声说话也感到痛苦。所以我们一路旅行，一路祈祷，求主赐我们力量，让我们经得起奔波之苦。每走十英里我们就不得不停下来，我好休息一下。我的丈夫把长草编成辫子，系在马上，好有机会喂马。然后把我的斗篷铺在草地上，给我弄了一个休息的地方。我们就这样做，直到我们到达墨尔本。在那里我们本想会遇到反对。许多自称相信救主复临已近的人抗拒上帝的律法。{2SG 130.1}[5]
§12
The blessing of the Lord attended our conference at Sutton. After the meeting closed we went on our way to Canada East. My throat troubled me much. I could not speak aloud, or even whisper, without causing me suffering. We rode, praying as we went, for strength to endure the journey. About every ten miles we were obliged to stop that I might rest. My husband braided the tall grass and tied the horse to it, giving him a chance to feed, then spread my cloak upon the grass for a resting-place for me. Thus we continued until we arrived at Melbourne. We expected to meet opposition there. Many who professed to believe in the near coming of our Saviour fought against the law of God.?{2SG 130.1}[5]
§13
我们感觉需要那从上帝而来的能力。我不能大声讲话，便问道：我这么远来干什么呢？我们再次设法运用信心，知道我们惟一的帮助在于上帝。我们求主将自己显现给我们。我诚恳祈求主让我喉部的疾病消除，并恢复我的声音。我当时得到凭据，主的手摸了我一下；喉咙的病立时消退了，我的嗓子也嘹亮了。在聚会期间，主的灯光常照耀着我们，我们就取得了胜利。上帝的儿女都大得坚固和勉励。{2SG 130.2}[6]
§14
We felt the need of strength from God. I could not speak aloud, and inquired, For what have I come this long distance? Again we tried to exercise faith, knowing that our only help was in God. We prayed that the Lord would manifest himself unto us. My earnest prayer was for the disease to leave my throat, and that my voice might be restored. I had the evidence that the hand of God there touched me. The difficulty was instantly removed. My voice was clear. The candle of the Lord shone about us during that meeting, and we had the victory. The children of God were greatly strengthened and encouraged.?{2SG 130.2}[6]
§15
然后我们回到佛蒙特。我的声音又没有了。我们在约翰逊有一个约定，并且发现有相当多的弟兄姐妹聚集在哪里。有些人处在困惑受考验的状况中。有些狂热分子曾缠着他们，使他们对束缚他们的那些人感到惧怕。有良心的人很担心得罪上帝，对自己没什么信心，不敢起来维护自己的自由。我们到达后的那天晚上，我因虚弱而昏倒了许多次。但主应允了祈祷，我又恢复过来了，主还给我力量参加了聚会。我们知道第二天将不得不与黑暗的权势作战，也知道撒但必集合他的势力。到了早晨，长期迷惑和压迫上帝儿女的利比和贝利也来赴会了，还带来两个女人。她们穿着白色细麻衣，黑色的长发则散披在肩头上。细麻衣是代表圣徒所行的义。我有一道的信息要传给他们。我讲话的时候，利比的黑眼睛一直瞪着我。但我不怕他的影响。有天上的能力赐给我，使我能胜过他们的魔力。曾经被捆绑的上帝儿女开始自由地呼吸，并在主里面欢乐了。{2SG 131.1}[7]
§16
We then returned to Vermont. Again my voice failed me. We had an appointment at Johnson, and found quite a number of brethren and sisters collected. Some were in a perplexed and tried condition. Certain fanatics had imposed upon them, and cast a fear over them which held them in bondage. The conscientious were so fearful of offending God, and had so little confidence in themselves, that they dared not rise and assert their liberty. The night after we arrived I fainted a number of times through weakness. But in answer to prayer I was revived, and strength was given me of the Lord to go through the meeting. We knew that the next day we should have to battle with the powers of darkness, and that Satan would muster his forces. In the morning the individuals who had so long deceived and oppressed God’s children came into the meeting, Libbey and Bailey, and two females, with white linen dresses to represent the righteousness of the saints, and their long, black hair hung loose about their shoulders. I had a message for them, and while I was speaking L. kept his black eyes fastened upon me, but I had no fear of his influence. Strength was given me from heaven to rise above their satanic power. The children of God who had been held in bondage began to breathe free, and rejoice in the Lord.?{2SG 131.1}[7]
§17
在聚会的过程中，这些狂热之徒一直想站起来发言，但他们总找不到机会。在散会祈祷的时候，贝利来到门前，开始讲话。有人把门关了。他把门推开，再开口讲话。于是上帝的能力降在我丈夫身上。他面色苍白，站了起来，举手向那人大声说：“主不要你在这里作见证；主不要你在这里搅扰并迫害祂的百姓。”上帝的能力充满了屋子。贝利开始退出房间。房间里上帝的能力对于狂热之徒是极其痛苦的。贝利非常恐惧，跌跌撞撞地差点儿摔在地上。这个地方因主的临格而显得可畏。黑暗之子全都离开了。上帝美妙的灵降在祂所爱而经受考验的儿女身上。上帝在佛蒙特州的圣工一直受狂热精神的祸害，但在这次聚会的时候他们受了制止，再没有复原了。{2SG 131.2}[8]
§18
As our meeting progressed, these fanatics?sought to rise and speak, but they could not find opportunity. But as prayer was being offered at the close of the meeting, B. came to the door and commenced speaking. The door was closed upon him. He opened the door, and again commenced to speak. The power of God fell upon my husband, and the color left his face. He arose from his knees, and as he laid his hand upon B., exclaimed, “The Lord does not want your testimony here. The Lord does not want you here to distract and crush his people!” The power of God filled the room, and B. commenced to walk backward out of the house. The power of God in the house was painful to that fanatical party. B. looked terrified. He staggered and came near falling to the floor. The place was awful on account of the presence of the Lord. All that company of darkness left the place, and the sweet Spirit of the Lord rested upon his dear, tried children. The cause of God in Vt. had been cursed by fanatical spirits, but at this meeting they received a check which they never recovered from.?{2SG 131.2}[8]
§19
我们从佛蒙特州归来，很着急地要见我们留在纽约州的孩子。我们离开他已经五周了，当我们见到他时，他便用他的小胳膊搂住我的脖子，并把他的头靠在我的肩膀上，我看见他身上已经发生了很大的变化。他很虚弱。我的感受无法形容，很难抑制抱怨的情绪。这些想法会出现：我把他交在上帝手里，竟发现他处在这种状况吗？我痛苦的心情在泪水里得到了释放。然后我就变得更加从容，甘心接受上帝的旨意了。我们设法尽量有利地看待孩子的情况。我因这些话得到了安慰：主“并不甘心使人受苦，使人忧愁”（哀3:33）。{2SG 132.1}[9]
§20
We returned from Vt. very anxious to see our child we had left in N. Y. We had been from him five weeks, and as we met him, and he clasped his little arms about my neck, and laid his head upon my shoulder, I saw that a great change had taken place in him. He was very feeble. My feelings cannot be described?It was difficult to suppress murmuring feelings. These thoughts would arise, I left him in the hands of God, and do I find him in this condition? My agonized feelings found relief in tears. Then I became more calm and reconciled to the will of God. We tried to look at the child’s case in as favorable a light as possible. I was comforted with these words, The Lord “doth not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men.”?{2SG 132.1}[9]
§21
我们感到我们惟一的指望在于上帝，所以我们为孩子祈祷。主显著地应允了我们的祈祷。主的灵降在我们身上。他的症状就变得更加有利了，我们便带他旅行去奥斯威戈参加那里的一次会议。霍尔特弟兄和罗兹弟兄与我们同行。我们到达铁路时，我丈夫乘座火车以便在会议开始时在场。我们要在卡姆登逗留一晚，第二天继续前往奥斯威戈。但我们却失望了。因为我们的马病了，我们必须对忠心的查理表示一些怜悯。霍弟兄和罗弟兄催我们赶快点。我便告诉他们查理是一匹好马，必是生病了，我不能催它。下午已经很晚了，我们还有十英里才能到卡姆登。罗弟兄建议霍弟兄驾我们的马慢慢前行，而班斐姐妹和我则上他的马车，他会在天黑以前赶到普雷斯顿弟兄家。我们就这么做了。{2SG 133.1}[10]
§22
We felt that our only hope was in God, and prayed for the child and obtained signal answers to our prayers. The Spirit of the Lord rested upon us, and his symptoms became more favorable, and we journeyed with him to Oswego to attend a conference there. Brn. Holt and Rhodes were in company with us. When we reached the Railroad, my husband took the cars that he might be present at the commencement of the meeting. We were to tarry one night at Camden, and the next day go on to Oswego. But we were disappointed. Our horse was sick, and we must show some mercy to faithful Charley. Brn. R. and H. urged us to drive faster. I told them that Charley was a free horse, and must be sick, and I could not urge him. It was getting late in the afternoon and we had ten miles further to go before reaching Camden. Bro. R. proposed that Bro. H. take our horse and come on slowly, and that Sr. Bonfoey and myself get into his carriage,?and he would drive on to get to Bro. Preston’s before dark. We did so.?{2SG 133.1}[10]
§23
1860年3月，我们还在衣阿华州蒂普顿的时候，有谣言说我经常与罗弟兄一起旅行。其实这是惟一的一次我与罗弟兄一起乘车而我丈夫不在，但有班斐姐妹与我在一起。一位M先生还就普赖尔姐妹的去世传播了其它同样没有根据的谣言，这人曾从卡姆登搬到衣阿华州。谣言说我们使她没有得到医疗帮助。我要简要地说明我们一点不知道普姐妹生病的事，当时我们在罗彻斯特，距卡姆登有一百多英里，我们也不知道她去世，直到一位弟兄从卡姆登来访问罗彻斯特并把这消息告诉了我们。只有两户人家参与了这事。此后我们访问了卡姆登，我在异象中蒙指示看见，在影响普姐妹，反对她得到医疗帮助的事上缺乏见识。我看到他们把事情带到了极端，并且由于这种事而使上帝的圣工受损，使我们的信仰受了羞辱，这种事是极端的狂热主义。就这些事所赐的责备和所作的明白见证使E. W. W.转而离开我，采取了“信使党”的立场，传播谎言伤害我。{2SG 134.1}[11]
§24
While in Tipton, Iowa, March, 1860, we met the report that I frequently traveled with Bro. R. This is the only time I ever rode with Bro. R. without my husband, and on this occasion Sr. Bonfoey was with me. Other reports equally groundless were circulated by a Mr. M. who had moved from Camden to Iowa, relative to the death of Sr. Prior. It was stated that we were the cause of her not having medical aid. I will briefly state that we knew nothing of Sr. P.s’ sickness, were in Rochester, above one hundred miles from Camden, when this matter occurred, and we had no knowledge of her death until a brother from Camden visited Rochester and brought us the intelligence. There were but two families engaged in this matter. After this we visited Camden, and I was shown in vision that there had been a lack of judgment in regard to the case of Sr. P. in giving their influence against her obtaining medical aid. I saw that they had carried matters to extremes, and that the cause of God was wounded and our faith reproached, on account of such things, which were fanatical in the extreme. The reproof given and the plain testimony borne in regard to these things was the cause of E. W. W. turning from me and taking his position with the “Messenger” party in circulating falsehoods calculated to injure me.?{2SG 134.1}[11]
§25
我们相信有信心的祷告；但有些人走得太远，特别是那些受狂热主义影响的人。有些人采取了强硬的立场，认为使用简单的疗法是错误的。我们从未采取过这种立场，而是反对过这种立场。我们相信使用上帝置于我们的范围之内的疗法完全没有问题，如果这些不行，就求助于大医生，有时候，地上的医生的建议也是很有必要的。我们一直是这种看法。{2SG 135.1}[12]
§26
We believe in the prayer of faith; but some have carried this matter too far, especially those who have been affected with fanaticism. Some have taken the strong ground that it was wrong to use simple remedies. We have never taken this position, but have opposed it. We believe it to be perfectly right to use the remedies God has placed in our reach, and if these fail, apply to the great Physician, and in some cases the counsel of an earthly physician is very necessary. This position we have always held.?{2SG 135.1}[12]
§27
我们感到很失望，因为没能参加奥斯威戈的会议。星期天我们的马能旅行了，班斐姐妹和我便很慢地前行。当我们距奥斯威戈还有五英里时，天黑了，并且电闪雷鸣，雨下得很大。我们进入奥斯威戈时，一个人都看不见。黑暗很浓。我们希望找到古德温弟兄家。我不得不多次从马车上下来，等着闪电照亮好看见我们在什么地方。我们就这样走过去了。我再次从马车上下来时，一道明亮的闪电使我看明我们到了古弟兄家对面。那些在房子里的人很惊讶竟在如此可怕的暴风雨夜中这么晚见到我。他们能发现马和马车的唯一办法就是藉着闪电。当我们进入明亮舒适的客旅之家的时候，我们很感激上帝，因为祂在路上保护了我们，我们孩子的状况也一样好。{2SG 135.2}[13]
§28
It was quite a disappointment to us not to be able to attend the conference at Oswego. Sunday the horse was able to travel, and Sr. B. and I journeyed on very slowly. As we were within five miles of Oswego it shut in dark, and thundered and lightened, and rained very hard. As we entered Oswego not a person was to be seen. The darkness was intense. We wished to find Bro. Goodwin’s. I was obliged to step from the wagon a number of times, and wait for the lightning’s flash to see where we were. In this way we passed on. Again I stepped from the wagon, and the vivid lightning showed me that we were opposite Bro. G.’s house. Those in the house were perfectly astonished to meet me so late at night in such a fearful storm. The only way they found the horse and wagon was by the lightning’s flash. As we entered the well-lighted, comfortable pilgrim’s home we felt grateful to God that he?had preserved us on the road, and that our child was no worse.?{2SG 135.2}[13]