第10章 试炼和胜利
§1
第10章 试炼和胜利
§2
Chap. 10—Trials and Victories
§3
约在此时，我受到一次严重的考验。每当我们在聚会中，上帝的灵降在一位弟兄或姐妹身上，以致他们赞美上帝来荣耀祂时，总有一些人要说那是出于催眠术；而且每当主的美意要在会中赐给我一个异象时，总有人说：“那是兴奋和催眠术。”因此我非常悲伤而灰心，时常退到隐僻的地方去，向那位邀请一切劳苦担重担的人到祂面前来得安息的主倾心吐意。当我凭着信心要求领受上帝的应许时，耶稣似乎离我很近。有天国和美的光辉照耀在我的四围，我就似乎被救主的膀臂所怀抱，当场就受感得见异象。但是当我将上帝在没有任何属世的影响能影响到我的地方单独启示给我的事讲出来时，竟有人告诉我说我是把自己催眠了，还说那些最亲近上帝的人是最容易受撒但欺骗的。根据这种教训，我们免受欺骗的唯一保障就是与上帝保持相当远的距离，停留在退后的状况中。我想，若是这样，那些真诚地独自向上帝求祂的应许并要祂拯救的人，难道就要被指控受着催眠术的邪恶影响吗？我们向我们仁慈的天父求“饼”，却只得到“石头”或“蝎子”吗？这些事伤害了我的心灵，使我极其痛苦，几近绝望。许多人却要我相信没有圣灵，过去上帝的圣徒所经历的一切，不过是受了催眠术的影响或撒但的欺骗。{2SG 57.1}[1]
§4
About this time I was subjected to a severe trial. If the Spirit of the Lord rested upon a brother or sister in meeting, and they glorified God by praising him, some raised the cry of mesmerism. And if it pleased the Lord to give me a vision in meeting, some would say, “It is excitement and mesmerism.” Grieved and desponding, I often went alone to some retired place to pour out my soul before Him who invites the weary and heavy laden to come and find rest. As my faith claimed the promises, Jesus seemed very near. The sweet light of heaven shone around me, and there have I been taken off in vision. Then I would relate what God had revealed to me alone, where no earthly influence could affect me; but I was told by some that I mesmerized myself, and that those who lived the nearest to God were most liable to be deceived by Satan. According to this teaching, our only safety from delusion was to remain quite a distance from God in a backslidden state. O, thought I, has it come to this, that those who honestly go to God alone to plead his promises, and to claim his salvation, are to be charged with being under the foul influence of mesmerism? Do we ask our kind Father in heaven for bread, only?to receive a stone or a scorpion? These things wounded my spirit, and wrung my soul in keen anguish, well nigh to despair, while many would have me believe that there was no Holy Spirit, and that all the exercises that holy men of God have experienced, were only mesmerism or the deceptions of Satan.?{2SG 57.1}[1]
§5
异象在这时赐给我，是要纠正错误。有些人对于某几节经文持极端的看法，以致完全停止劳动，并排斥一切不接受他们这种观点，以及他们所认定的其他宗教责任的人。上帝在异象中向我指出这些错误。差遣我向祂犯错的儿女揭露这些错误。他们中有许多人完全拒绝信息，竟指责我效法世界。另外一方面，那班有名无实的复临信徒倒说我是宗教狂，并诬蔑我，说我是我所不断努力制止的狂热派的首脑。有人常为主复临定出不同的日期，并勉强叫弟兄们接受。但主指示我这些日期都要过去，因为基督复临之前必定先有大艰难的时期；并且每次规定一个日期，而当这日期过去之后，就要削弱上帝子民的信心。为了这事，人们就说我就是那说“我的主人必来得迟”的恶仆(太24:48)。{2SG 58.1}[2]
§6
At this time visions were given me to correct the errors of those who had taken the extreme view of some texts of Scripture, and refrained wholly from labor, and rejected all those who would not receive their views on this point, and some other things which they held to be religious duties. God revealed these errors to me in vision, and sent me to his erring children to declare them; but many of them wholly rejected the message, and charged me with conforming to the world. On the other hand, the nominal Adventists charged me with fanaticism, and I was falsely, and by some, wickedly, represented as being the leader of the fanaticism that I was laboring to do away. Different times were set for the Lord to come, and were urged upon the brethren. But the Lord showed me that they would pass by, for the time of trouble must come before the coming of Christ, and that every time that was set, and passed, would only weaken the faith of God’s people. For this I was charged with being with the evil servant, that said in his heart, “My Lord delayeth his coming.”?{2SG 58.1}[2]
§7
这一切的事重重地压在我心上，甚至叫我在混乱之余，有时险些要怀疑自己的经验。某一天早晨，在举行家庭礼拜的时候，上帝的能力突然降在我的身上；这是催眠术的想法冲进了我的脑子，我就抗拒了它。当即我被击打成了哑吧，有几分钟完全不省人事。于是我看明自己怀疑上帝能力的罪，因此才变成哑吧，但我的舌头要在二十四小时之后方得松弛。有一张卡片摆在我的面前，上面有金黄的文字写着五十段经文：{2SG 59.1}[3]
§8
All these things weighed heavily upon my spirits, and in the confusion, I was sometimes tempted to doubt my own experience. And while at family worship one morning, the power of God began to rest upon me, and the thought rushed into my mind that it was mesmerism, and I resisted it. Immediately I was struck dumb, and for a few moments was lost to everything around me. I then saw my sin in doubting the power of God, and that for so doing I was struck dumb, and that my tongue should be loosed in less than twenty-four hours. A card was held up before me, on which was written in gold letters the chapter and verse of the following texts of Scripture:?{2SG 59.1}[3]
§9
路1:20; 约16:15; 徒2:4; 4:29-31;太7:6-12,15; 24:24; 西2:6-8; 来10:35-39; 4:10-12; 腓1:6,27-29; 2:13-15; 弗6:10-18; 4:32; 1:22; 约13:34,35; 林后13:5; 林前3:10-13; 徒20:28-30; 加1:6-9; 路12:3-7; 路4:10,11; 林后4:6-9,17,18; 彼前1:5-7; 帖前3:8; 可16:17,18; 约9:20-27; 14:13-15; 约15:7,8; 可1:23-25; 罗8:38,39; 启3:7-13; 14:4,5; 腓3:20; 雅5:7,8; 腓3:21; 启14:14-17; 来4:9; 启21:2; 14:1; 22:1-5。{2SG 59.2}[4]
§10
Luke 1:20;?John 16:15;?Acts 2:4;?4:29-31;?Matthew 7:6-12, 15;?24:24;?Colossians 2:6-8;?Hebrews 10:35-39;?4:10-12;?Philippians 1:6, 27-29;?2:13-15;?Ephesians 6:10-18;?4:32;?1 Peter 1:22;?John 13:34, 35;?2 Corinthians 13:5;?1 Corinthians 3:10-13;?Acts 20:28-30;?Galatians 1:6-9;?Luke 12:3-7;?4:10, 11;?2 Corinthians 4:6-9, 17, 18;?1 Peter 1:5-7;?1 Thessalonians 3:8;?Mark 16:17, 18;?John 9:20-27;?14:13-15;?15:7, 8;?Mark 1:23-25;?Romans 8:38, 39;?Revelation 3:7-13;?14:4, 5;?Philippians 3:20;?James 5:7, 8;?Philippians 3:21;?Revelation 14:14-17;?Hebrews 4:9;?Revelation 21:2;?14:1;?22:1-5.?{2SG 59.2}[4]
§11
我出了异象之后，就作手势要一块小石板，写明我已经哑了，又写明我所看见的，我要那本大圣经。我拿了圣经，很快翻到我在卡片上所看到的那些圣经章节。那一天我只能用石板和铅笔谈话。次日清晨，我的舌头便得到松弛，能大声赞美上帝。从那时以后，不管别人对我有什么看法，我再也不敢疑惑自己的经验，再也不敢反抗上帝的能力了。{2SG 59.3}[5]
§12
After I came out of vision, I beckoned for?the slate, and wrote upon it that I was dumb, also what I had seen, and that I wished the large Bible. I took the Bible and readily turned to all the texts that I had seen upon the card. I conversed that day with slate and pencil. Next morning my tongue was loosed to shout the praises of God. After that, I dared not doubt my experience, or for a moment resist the power of God, however others might think of me.{2SG 59.3}[5]
§13
这以前，我一直不能写字；我颤动着的手执不住笔。在异象中，天使吩咐我把所看见的异象写下来。我便听从，很自然地写了出来。我的神经得着力量，我的手变得坚稳了。{2SG 60.1}[6]
§14
Up to this time I could not write. My trembling hand was unable to hold my pen steadily. While in vision I was commanded by an angel to write the vision. I attempted it, and wrote readily. My nerves were strengthened, and my hand became steady.?{2SG 60.1}[6]
§15
要将上帝所启示有关犯了错误之人的过错向他们指明，这对我真是一个沉重的十字架。我看到别人受到困惑或忧伤，我自己也非常难过。所以每当我必须讲说所传给我的信息时，我就常把它缓和缓和，尽量使之显得讨人喜欢，然后我便退后一边去在精神的极大痛苦中痛哭一场。我看到那些似乎只需要顾到自己灵性的人，便想：如果我能象他们的情形一样，就决不发怨言了。要我传讲上帝所传给我率直，扎心的证言，真不容易。我焦急地注意所传信息的效果；如果受责备的人起来反抗所责备的话，以致对抗真理，我就要扪心自问：我照着所应当的传讲信息了吗？上帝啊！难道就没有挽救他们的方法么？于是我的心灵时常感到难堪，时常感觉死亡是受欢迎的信使，而坟墓倒是宁静的安息之处。当时我没有认识到我这样是不忠实的表现，也没有看出我这种行为的危险与罪恶，直到我在异象中被带到耶稣面前。祂竟向我皱眉，转脸不看我。我当时所感到的恐怖和痛苦实在不是言语所能形容的。我随即面伏于地，仆倒在祂脚前，没有气力讲一句话。唉，我是多么地急欲躲开祂那可怕的怒容啊！当时我多少可以体会到将来沦亡的恶人所要有的感想，以致他们要向山和岩石喊叫说：“倒在我们身上吧，把我们藏起来，躲避坐宝座者的面目，和羔羊的忿怒”(启6:16)。{2SG 60.2}[7]
§16
It was very crossing for me to relate to individuals what I had been shown concerning their wrongs. It caused me great distress to see others troubled or grieved. And when obliged to declare the messages, I often softened them down and related what I had seen as favorable for the individual as I could, and then would go by myself and weep in agony of spirit. I looked upon those who had only their own souls to care for, and thought if I were in their condition I would not murmur. How could I relate the plain, cutting testimonies given me of God? I anxiously watched the result, and if the individual reproved, rose up against it, and afterwards opposed the truth, these queries?would arise in my mind. Did I deliver the message just as I should? Oh, God! could there not have been some way to save them? And then such distress hung upon my soul, I often felt that death would be a welcome messenger, and the grave a sweet resting-place. I did not realize that I was so unfaithful, and did not see the danger and sin of such a course, until I was taken in vision into the presence of Jesus. He looked upon me with a frown, and turned his face from me. It is not possible to describe the terror and agony I then felt. I fell upon my face before him, but had no power to utter a word. O, how I longed to be covered and hid from that dreadful frown. Then could I realize, in some degree, what the feelings of the lost will be when they cry, “Mountains and rocks, fall on us, and hide us from the face of Him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb.”?{2SG 60.2}[7]
§17
随即有一位天使吩咐我起立，我便看到一种难以形容的情景。在我前面站着一群人，他们的头发和衣服都是被撕烂的，他们的面容活现着绝望和恐怖。他们挨近我来，将他们的衣服擦在我的衣服上。我垂眼一看，不料，我的衣服竟染上了鲜血。于是我又昏倒在那伴随我的天使脚前，好像死人一样。我不能提出一点推辞，只切望能离开那个圣洁的地方。天使把我扶起来，说：“这还不是你现在的处境，但这一幕景象向你显现，乃是让你知道如果你不将主所启示你的事向人宣明，你就必定落到这个地步。但如果你能忠心到底，你就必吃生命树的果子，喝生命河的水。你将要多受苦难，但上帝的恩典是够你用的。”于是我才愿意作主所吩咐我去作的一切，为要得蒙祂的嘉纳，而不致看到祂那可怕的怒容。{2SG 61.1}[8]
§18
Presently an angel bid me rise, and the sight that met my eyes can hardly be described. A company was presented before me whose hair and garments were torn, and whose countenances were the very picture of despair and horror. They came close to me, and took their garments and rubbed them on mine. I looked at my garments, and saw that they were stained with blood. Again I fell like one dead, at the feet of my accompanying angel. I could not plead one excuse, and longed to be away?from such a holy place. Again the angel stood me up on my feet, and said, “This is not your case now, but this scene has passed before you to let you know what your situation must be, if you neglect to declare to others what the Lord has revealed to you. But if you are faithful to the end, you shall eat of the tree of life, and shall drink of the river of the water of life. You will have to suffer much, but the grace of God is sufficient.” I then felt willing to do all that the Lord might require me to do, that I might have his approbation, and not feel his dreadful frown.?{2SG 61.1}[8]
§19
我还在波特兰探望我姐姐的时候，受到疾病的折磨。在场的人同心合意为我祷告，疾病就被斥退了。天使们似乎在房间里，尽都是光明和荣耀。我再次进入异象中，蒙指示看到我必须走三英里去参加一次聚会，在那里的时候会得知主希望我做什么。我去了，发现有相当多的弟兄姐妹聚会。谁也不知道有什么特殊的聚会。J. T.在那里。他曾自夸懂得催眠术，还说他能给我施行催眠；说他能阻止我见异象或当着他们的面讲异象。在场的许多人曾听过他这样夸口。我在会众中站了起来。我的异象活现在我面前，我便开始讲述那些异象，那时我感到有人正在向我施加一种人为的影响，便看了一眼J. T.。他把手举在面前，正从指缝里看我，盯在我身上。他嘴唇紧闭，偶尔发出一声低沉的呻吟。我立刻想起主曾赐给我的应许，便转向他并且讲了主在波特兰指示我看到的事；就是如果我有受人为影响的危险，就可要求另一位天使，那位天使便会奉差来保护我。于是我举起双手向天恳切呼求：另一位天使，父啊！另一位天使！我知道我的请求得到了允准。我感到主的灵有力地保护了我，带我摆脱了一切属地的影响，自由地讲完了我的见证。圣徒们得到了安慰，并且在主里欢喜快乐。有人问J. T.为什么他没能阻止我讲异象呢？他回答说：“哦，你们有些人愿意让她讲。”我们怀着刚强的信心，在上帝里快快乐乐地回到了我姐姐家。{2SG 62.1}[9]
§20
While visiting my sisters in Poland, I was afflicted with sickness. Those present united in prayer in my behalf, and the disease was rebuked. Angels seemed to be in the room, and all was light and glory. I was again taken off in vision, and shown that I must go about three miles to a meeting, and when there should learn what the Lord would have me do. We went and found quite a large gathering of the brethren and sisters. None had known of any special meeting. J. T. was there. He had boasted that he understood the art of mesmerism, and that he could mesmerize me; that he could prevent me from having a vision, or telling a vision in his presence. There were many present who had heard this boast. I arose in the congregation. My visions came up fresh before me, and I commenced relating?them, when I felt a human influence being exerted against me. I looked at J. T. He had his hand up to his face, and was looking through his fingers, his eyes intently fixed upon me. His lips were compressed, and a low groan now and then escaped him. In a moment I remembered the promise which the Lord had given me, and turned to him and related what the Lord had shown me in Portland; that if I was in danger of being affected by a human influence, to ask for another angel, who would be sent to protect me. I then raised my hands to heaven and earnestly cried, Another angel, Father! another angel! I knew that my request was granted. I felt shielded by the strong Spirit of the Lord, and was borne above every earthly influence, and with freedom finished my testimony. The saints were comforted, and rejoiced in the Lord. J. T. was asked why he had not stopped my relating the vision? He answered, “Oh, some of you would have her talk.” With strong confidence, rejoicing in God, we returned to my sister’s.?{2SG 62.1}[9]
§21
在帕里斯有些人认为工作就是罪。耶西.史蒂文斯是这种错误的领袖，对别人发挥了有力的影响。他曾是卫理公会的讲道人，被认为是一个忠实的基督徒。他藉着对真理的热心和表面上圣洁的生活赢得了许多人的信任。有些人以为他是特别蒙主指导的。主为了他赐给我一道责备的信息，因为他在不工作上是与上帝的道背道而驰的，还坚持要求别人也犯这种错误，公开指责凡不接待他们的人。他拒绝了主所赐给他、为要使他相信他是错了的每一个证据，在他的错误行径上坚决不回头。他随从感想并进行疲乏的旅行，走很远的路，到他只会受到辱骂的地方去，还认为自己是为基督受苦。{2SG 63.1}[10]
§22
Some in Paris, Me., believed that it was sin to work. Jesse Stevens was leader in this error, and exerted a strong influence over others. He had been a Methodist preacher and was considered a faithful christian. He had won the confidence of many by his zeal for the truth, and apparent holy living, which caused?some to believe him especially directed of the Lord. The Lord gave me a reproof for him; that he was going contrary to the word of God in abstaining from labor, and urging his errors upon others, denouncing all who did not receive them. He rejected every evidence which the Lord gave to convince him of his error, and was firm to take nothing back in his course. He followed impressions and went weary journeys, walking great distances, where he would only receive abuse, and considered that he was suffering for Christ’s sake.?{2SG 63.1}[10]
§23
主给了我关于这个人的详确的信息，我奉差长途旅行去警告上帝的子民不要犯他正极力要他们犯的这种错误。同时我蒙指示看到我必须到帕里斯去，因为那里有一场指定的聚会是我必须参加的。我听从了所赐给我的指示，并在那里得知S.（即，耶西.史蒂文斯，下同）已通报弟兄们说第二天在C.弟兄家里要有一次大聚会，他敦促大家都参加。{2SG 64.1}[11]
§24
The Lord gave me faithful messages for this man, and I was sent long distances to warn the people of God against the errors he was urging upon them. At one time I was shown that I must go to Paris, for there was a meeting appointed which I must attend. I followed the directions given me, and there learned that S. had notified the brethren that there was to be a great meeting the next day at the house of Bro. C., and he urged all to attend.?{2SG 64.1}[11]
§25
第二天早上我们去了指定的聚会地点。当S.来到并且看到我们在场时，似乎很烦恼。聚会以祷告开始。当我开始祷告时，主的福气临到我身上，我便见了异象。S.曾宣称他除了圣经什么都不会听从。我蒙指示看到圣经的教导与他谬论的区别。然后我看到上帝的不悦临到他；因为他正在把诚实尽责的人带入歧途。他们不敢违背他。可是他们却在他的信仰上看到矛盾之处，他们的判断告诉他们他是错了。他指定那次聚会的目的是要把他用来捆绑这些生灵的错误绳索系得更紧些。我看到上帝为会拯救祂的子民而行事；S.不久就会充分显出自己的真相，凡心地诚实的人都会看到他是受错误的精神鼓动的，他的生涯不久就会结束。在场的人告诉我他不愿再听了，并且拿起帽子离开了会场。不久以后这个网罗就被打破了，他对人们没有多少影响力了。他公开指责异象是出于魔鬼的，并且继续随从自己的观念，直到撒但似乎完全控制了他的思想。他的朋友们最后不得不把他关起来，他在那里用自己的床单作了一条绳子把自己吊死了，就这样结束了他的生涯。{2SG 64.2}[12]
§26
The next morning we went to the place appointed for meeting. When S. came in and saw us present he seemed troubled. The meeting commenced with prayer. Then as I tried to pray, the blessing of the Lord rested upon me, and I was taken off in vision. S. had declared that he would listen to nothing?but Bible. I was shown what the Bible taught in contrast with his errors. I then saw that the frown of God was upon him; that he was leading astray honest, conscientious souls. They feared to differ with him. Yet they saw inconsistencies in his faith, and their judgment told them he was wrong. His object in appointing that meeting was to make an effort to strengthen the cords of error with which he had bound these souls. I saw that God would work for the salvation of his people; that S. would soon fully manifest himself, and all the honest would see that it was not a right spirit which actuated him, and that his career would soon close. I was told by those present that he would hear no more, and took his hat and left the house. Soon after this the snare was broken, and he could have but little influence over souls. He denounced the visions as being of the Devil, and continued to follow his impressions, until Satan seemed to take the full control of his mind. His friends at length were obliged to confine him, where he made a rope of some of his bed clothing with which he hung himself. Thus ended his career.?{2SG 64.2}[12]
§27
在波特兰我父亲家，我蒙指示第二天必须去朴次茅斯，在那里作我的见证。我姐姐撒拉和我一起旅行，怀弟兄陪着我们。我没有钱付旅费，然而我准备出行，倚靠主给我们开路。我戴上我的帽子时，第一班客车的钟声正在响起。我向窗外望去，看到一位好弟兄驾着车飞快地到了门口。他的马大汗淋漓。他很快地进了房间，问道：“这里有人需要钱吗？”我们赶紧说我们正要照主的吩咐去朴次茅斯，却没有旅费，然而决心启程，倚靠上帝的旨意开路。那位弟兄给了我们足够去朴次茅斯和回来的钱。他说：“坐在我的马车里，我送你们去车站。”在途中他告诉我们，他控制不住自己的马，他是以飞快的速度赶来了，赶了十二英里。我们刚就座，客车就开了。主在这里测试和考验了我们，加强了我们的信心，因为我们被带到了平坦的境地，靠着祂旨意的彰显过来了。我在朴次茅斯自由地作了我的见证。{2SG 65.1}[13]
§28
At my father’s house in Portland, I was shown that I must go to Portsmouth the next day and bear my testimony there. My sister Sarah traveled with me, and Bro. White accompanied us. I had no means to pay my fare,?but prepared to go, trusting in the Lord to open the way. The first car bell was ringing, as I put on my bonnet. I looked out of the window, and saw a good brother driving very fast up to the gate. His horse was reeking with sweat. He quickly entered the house, and asked, “Is there any one here who needs means? I was impressed that some one here needed money.” We hastily related that we were going to Portsmouth at the Lord’s bidding, and had nothing to go with, but resolved to start, trusting in the providence of God to open the way. The brother handed us money enough to carry us to Portsmouth and back. Said he, “Take a seat in my wagon, and I will carry you to the depot.” While on the way he told us he could not hold his horse, he would come with great speed. The distance was twelve miles. We had just taken our seats when the cars started. Here the Lord tested and proved us, and strengthened our faith as we were brought into a very straight place, and were carried through by the manifestation of his providence. I had freedom in bearing my testimony in Portsmouth.?{2SG 65.1}[13]