第05章 教会弟兄的反对
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第05章 教会弟兄的反对
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Chap. 5—Opposition of Formal Brethren
§3
我与我的救主之间没有一丝阴云阻隔，达六个月之久。一有适当的机会，我就作见证，并且大大蒙福。有时主的灵带着能力降在我身上，使我浑身无力。这对于一些从挂名的教会中出来的人乃是一个考验。他们往往说出令我很忧伤的话。他们不相信人会如此被上帝的灵所充满以致浑身无力。我开始担心，就这样推理：我难道不该在聚会时闭口不言并抑制我的感情吗？因为我的见证在会上、甚至在在一些比我年长、经验更多的人心里引起了这样的反对。我想，不作见证并不妨碍我忠诚地实行自己的信仰。我常常觉得上帝的灵催促我在在会中发言，但我忍住不说，就感到使上帝的灵担忧了。我有时甚至不去参加聚会，因为有不喜欢我见证的人在场。我害怕得罪弟兄们，就不作见证。我享受了几个月的与上帝不间断的交通遭到了破坏。此后我很长时间没有享受在主里面的完全自由。{2SG 26.1}[1]
§4
For six months not a cloud intervened between me and my Saviour. Whenever there was a proper opportunity I bore my testimony in meeting, and was greatly blessed. At times the Spirit of the Lord rested upon me in such power that my strength was taken away. This was a trial to some of those who had come out from the formal churches, and often words were spoken meant for my ear, which grieved me. They did not believe that any one could be so filled with the Spirit of the Lord as to lose their strength. I began to fear. I reasoned thus: Am I not justified in holding my peace in meeting, and restraining my feelings, when my testimony causes such opposition, even in meeting, and in the hearts of some of those older in experience, and in years, than myself? I thought I would be just as faithful in living out my religion, and not bear my testimony. I often felt pressed by the Spirit of God to speak in meeting; but did not, and was sensible that the Spirit of God was grieved. I even kept away from meeting where some of those attended who were annoyed by my testimony. I withheld my testimony for fear of offending my brethren, and that uninterrupted communion with God?which I had enjoyed for months was broken, and I have not since, for so long a time, been perfectly free in the Lord.?{2SG 26.1}[1]
§5
然而不久最积极反对我的那家人中有一个人在祷告时仆倒象死人一样。他的朋友们担心他要死了；但是当他们站着为他哭泣、揉搓他的双手、想方设法使他恢复时，他得到了力量赞美上帝，并且发出了胜利的呼喊。他那天晚上没能回家。在参加一次晚上的聚会时，我非常蒙福，再次失去了力气。所提到的那个家庭中的另一个人说他不信上帝的灵临到了我。他选 了一个被认为是属上帝的虔诚谦卑的基督徒，说：“假如这是真的，为什么不临到R弟兄身上，使他失去力量呢？”R弟兄立刻就仆倒了，他一有力气说出自己的感受，就宣布这是出于上帝的。{2SG 27.1}[2]
§6
But soon one of the family which had been most forward in opposing me, while praying fell prostrate like one dead. His friends feared he was dying; but while they stood weeping over him, rubbing his hands, and using means for his restoration, he gained strength to praise God, and shout with a voice of triumph. He was unable to return home that night. While attending an evening meeting I was much blessed, and again lost my strength. Another of the family mentioned, said he had no faith that it was the Spirit of God that was upon me. He selected one who was considered a man of God, a devoted humble Christian, and said, “If this is genuine, why does it not come upon Bro. R., and he lose his strength?” Bro. R. was immediately prostrated, and as soon as he could give utterance to his feelings, declared that it was of God.?{2SG 27.1}[2]
§7
大家都相信我是诚实的，却认为我能控制我的感觉，不让我的力量被夺走。主便使那位反对我的弟兄看出他是在对抗上帝。在祷告会上，主的福气临到了他，他的面容似乎因上帝的荣耀发光，他便仆倒在地上。当他恢复了力气时，便承认他反对我是错了。此后不久，同一个家庭在祷告时，主的灵临到了他们身上。我从我父亲那里得知当时发生的细节。他说几乎谁也不能帮助谁，他们都因上帝的能力仆倒了，同时呼叫着祂的名。冷淡的形式主度开始融化了，于是他们就很后悔曾反对我，并且承认了他们的错误。{2SG 27.2}[3]
§8
All had believed me honest, but thought I could command my feelings, and not suffer my strength to be taken away. The brother who opposed me was brought to see that he was fighting against God. While in a prayer-meeting, the blessing of the Lord rested upon him, and his countenance seemed to shine with the glory of God, and he fell prostrate to the floor. When he recovered strength he confessed?he had done wrong in opposing me. Not long after this, while the same family were engaged in prayer, the Spirit of the Lord rested upon them. I had the particulars from my father who happened in at that time. He said there was scarcely one to help another. They were prostrated by the power of God, while calling upon his name. Cold formality began to melt, and then they regretted that they had opposed me, and confessed their error.?{2SG 27.2}[3]
§9
1843年，我愿天天把自己献给主，并且为祂的降临作准备。但所期待的时期过去了，而我们仍在这个黑暗的世界上，讥诮的人便开始大胆地讥诮，用刻薄的话语反对我们。有些人是因恐惧而加入复临信徒队伍中的，那时便离开我们与好讥诮的人联合了。但我们仍然期待并爱慕我们救主的显现。我们的心思又蒙召注意1844年为我们的主显现的时间。我们喜乐地欢迎支持祂复临的每一个证据。我的经验与当时大部分上帝子民的经验相似。我同情其他似乎被拘留在黑暗和绝望中的人，常常与人联合为他们的得救恳切祷告，并且在他们得自由时与他们一同欢喜快乐。{2SG 28.1}[4]
§10
In 1843, I felt like consecrating myself daily to the Lord, and preparing for his coming. But the time of expectation passed, and we were still in this dark world, and the scoffer was bold in scoffing, and in his hard speeches against us. Some who joined the ranks through fear, left us and united with the scoffer. But we still looked for, and loved the appearing of, our Saviour. Again our minds were called to 1844, as the time for the appearing of our Lord. We hailed every evidence in favor of his coming with joy. My experience was like most of God’s people at that time. I felt for others who seemed to be held in darkness and despair, and often united with individuals in earnest prayer for their deliverance, and rejoiced with them when they were made free.?{2SG 28.1}[4]
§11
我们极其慎重地达到所期待的时刻。若有乌云遮蔽我们的心，我们就不能安息直到黑暗消散。我们常到果园和小树林去，向上帝献我们恳切的呼求：“求祢使我们重得救恩之乐。”我们不会停止向主恳求，直到祂亲自向我们显现，我们便能在祂爱的美好保证中欢喜快乐。我知道我必须战兢谨慎地行在上帝面前。天国及其甜美的喜乐是我昼夜所默想的。我爱耶稣，听到祂亲爱的圣名便使我陶醉。{2SG 28.2}[5]
§12
With great carefulness we came up to the time of expectation. If clouds shadowed our minds, we could not rest until the darkness was removed. We frequently went to the orchards and groves, and sent up our earnest cries to God, “Restore unto us the joys of thy salvation.” We would not cease pleading with the Lord until he revealed himself unto us, and we could rejoice in the sweet assurance of his love. I knew that I must walk tremblingly and carefully before God. Heaven and its sweet joys were my meditation day and night. I loved Jesus, and the sound of his dear name enraptured me.?{2SG 28.2}[5]
§13
我的肺被感染了，又失了声。上帝的灵常常以大能临到我身上，我虚弱的身体几乎不能经受那充满我心灵的荣耀。我常常浑身无力。耶稣的名，可爱的耶稣，被高举在我面前，我似乎住在天国的气氛里。我期待耶稣来使我成为不朽坏的，那时我就能经得起，就饮于祂面容的光中，总是享受祂的荣耀，并以完美的旋律赞美祂。{2SG 29.1}[6]
§14
My lungs were diseased, and my voice failed me. The Spirit of the Lord often rested upon me in great measure. My frail body could not endure the weight of glory which the mind grasped and feasted upon, and my strength was frequently gone. The name of Jesus, lovely Jesus, was exalted before me. I seemed to dwell in a heavenly atmosphere. I expected Jesus to come and make me immortal, when I could endure to drink in the light of his countenance, and ever feast upon his glory, and praise him in perfect strains.?{2SG 29.1}[6]
§15
我们以恳切的愿望等候耶稣的显现，但所预期的时间又过去了，我们仍在这种必死的状态，周围尽是咒诅的后果。我们遭受了痛苦的失望；然而我们并不灰心。一个强壮的膀臂扶持着我们。有些人是这样表示他们缺乏信心的：“你们不需要再害怕了；时间已经过去了，主许多年都不会来了。”时间的过去试验和摆脱这种人。但我们却相信在祂自己的好时辰祂会来；而我们必须先受检验、被净化、成为洁白、并受考验，然后祂就会救赎忠心倚靠祂的人。{2SG 29.2}[7]
§16
We waited with earnest desire for the appearing of Jesus, but the time of expectation again passed, and we were still in this mortal state, and the effects of the curse all around us. Our disappointment was bitter; but we did not faint. A strong arm bore us up. Some expressed their lack of faith as follows:—“You need have no more fears; the time has passed,?the Lord will not come for years.” The passing of the time tested and shook off such. But we believed that in his own good time he would come; that we must first be proved, be purified, made white, and tried, and then he would redeem his faithful, trusting ones.?{2SG 29.2}[7]
§17
我的健康急剧恶化。我只能用微弱的，或断断续续的声音说话。有位医生诊断我得了水肿性肺结核；还说我的右肺已经坏死，左肺也受到影响。他认为我时日无多，还有可能猝死。躺着呼吸对我而言极为困难，我几乎整夜整夜的保持坐姿，而且常常醒来，咯得满口是血。{2SG 30.1}[8]
§18
My health failed rapidly. I could only talk in a whisper, or broken tone of voice. One physician said my disease was dropsical consumption; that my right lung was gone, and my left affected. He thought I could not live long, might die very suddenly. It was very difficult for me to breathe lying down, and nights was bolstered almost in a sitting posture, and would often awake with my mouth full of blood.?{2SG 30.1}[8]