第1544号 夫妻关系
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第1544号 夫妻关系
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MR No. 1544 - Relation of Husbands and Wives
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（本文稿部分内容发表在《布道论》，《SDA圣经注释》卷二，《复临信徒家庭》和好几卷《文稿发布》里。）
§4
“你们作妻子的，当顺服自己的丈夫，如同顺服主。因为丈夫是妻子的头，如同基督是教会的头；祂又是教会全体的救主。教会怎样顺服基督，妻子也要怎样凡事顺服丈夫。你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己。要用水藉着道把教会洗净，成为圣洁，可以献给自己，作个荣耀的教会，毫无玷污、皱纹等类的病，乃是圣洁没有瑕疵的”（弗5:22-27）。主要求妻子尊重丈夫，但要常在主里才相宜。从拿八的妻子亚比该的品格上，我们看出了照基督命令行事的女性实例；而她的丈夫却显示出一个自愿受撒但控制的男人会成为怎样的人。大卫躲避扫罗的面，成了流亡者的时候，曾经在迦密拿八的产业附近安营并保护了此人的羊群和牧人。{21MR 213.1}[1]
§5
(Portions of this manuscript appear in Evangelism, the SDA Bible Commentary, vol. 2, Adventist Home, and several Manuscript Releases.)
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[Ephesians 5:22-27, quoted.]
§7
The Lord would have the wife render respect unto her husband, but always as it is fit in the Lord. In the character of Abigail, the wife of Nabal, we have an illustration of womanhood after the order of Christ, while her husband illustrates what a man may become who yields himself to the control of Satan. When David was a fugitive from the face of Saul, he had camped near the possessions of Nabal and had protected the flocks and the shepherds of this man from all depredation while in Carmel. {21MR 213.1}[1]
§8
大卫在有需要的时候，打发人带着礼貌的信息到拿八那里去，为他自己和跟随他的人要求食物。拿八的回答粗鲁无礼，以恶报善，拒绝将自己富余的食粮分给他的邻居。没有任何信息比大卫送给他的信息更为恭敬的了，但是拿八为了证明他的自私是正当的，便诬告大卫和跟从他的人，视他们为悖逆主人奔逃的仆人。当报信的人带回来这种侮慢的奚落时，大卫不禁怒火中烧，决定迅即报复。{21MR 213.2}[2]
§9
In a time of need David sent messengers to Nabal with a courteous message, asking for food for himself and his men, and Nabal answered with insolence, returning evil for good, and refusing to share his abundance with his neighbors. No message could have been more respectful than that which David sent to this man, but Nabal accused David and his men falsely in order to justify himself in his selfishness, and represented David and his followers as runaway slaves. When the messenger returned with this insolent taunt, Davids indignation was aroused, and he determined to have speedy revenge. {21MR 213.2}[2]
§10
拿八的一个青年仆人惟恐拿八的粗野无礼会招惹恶果，就来将这事告诉拿八的妻子，因为他深知她的精神与她丈夫大不相同，是一个极有判断力的女子。他在向她说明麻烦时说出了拿巴真正的品格，说：“所以你当筹划，看怎样行才好；不然，祸患定要临到我主人和他全家。他性情凶暴，无人敢与他说话”（撒上25:17）。{21MR 213.3}[3]
§11
One of the young men in the employ of Nabal, fearing that evil results would follow Nabals insolence, came and stated the case to Nabals wife, knowing that she had a different spirit from her husband, and was a woman of great discretion. He set forth the true character of Nabal as he presented the difficulties to her, saying, Now therefore know and consider what thou wilt do; for evil is determined against our master, and against all his household: for he is such a son of Belial, that a man cannot speak to him [1 Samuel 25:17]. {21MR 213.3}[3]
§12
亚比该看出必须采取措施，以避免拿八过失的恶果。她必须负起责任，立即行动而不能与她的丈夫商量。她知道跟他讲是没有用的，因为他只会以辱骂和蔑视来对待她的主张。他一定会提醒她：惟有他才是一家之主。她既是他的妻子，就当顺从他，必须按他的指示行事。{21MR 213.4}[4]
§13
Abigail saw that something must be done to avert the result of Nabals fault, and that she must take the responsibility of acting immediately without the counsel of her husband. She knew that it would be useless to speak to him, for he would only receive her proposition with abuse and contempt. He would remind her that he was the lord of his household, that she was his wife and therefore in subjection to him, and must do as he should dictate. {21MR 213.4}[4]
§14
她知道必须立刻消解恶信，她未经他的同意，便筹集了一大批她所认为最适于使大卫息怒的必需品，因为她知道大卫决心要为自己所遭受的侮辱报仇。她还知道拿马那么固执坚决地偏行己路，决不会同意接受她的忠告或遵照她的计划行事。她亲自将拿巴不肯给的东西带给大卫，并且为了大卫的益处使自己与大卫的事业紧密相连。亚比该在这件事上的作法是上帝所赞许的。当时的情况也显明了她高尚的精神和品格。{21MR 213.5}[5]
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She knew that the evil message must be counteracted immediately, and, without his consent, she gathered together such stores as she thought best to conciliate the wrath of David, for she knew he was determined to avenge himself for the insult he had received. She knew also that Nabal was so set and determined in his way that he would never consent to receive her counsel or act upon her plan. She herself brought to David the things that Nabal had refused to give, and bound herself to Davids cause for his own good. Abigails course in this matter was one that God approved, and the circumstance revealed in her a noble spirit and character. {21MR 213.5}[5]
§16
拿巴曾以极其嘲弄的方式将侮辱的信息传给大卫，指控他是一个逃亡的奴仆。亚比该恭敬地迎见大卫，表示尊重与服从，有说服力而又有效地申述自己的情况。她虽然没有为她丈夫的傲慢无礼开脱，却仍为他请求饶命。她还显明自己不仅是一个贤惠的女子，也是一个敬虔的女子，了解上帝在大卫身上的作为和做法。她表示自己坚信大卫是耶和华所膏的，他的生命是在上帝手中，但她并没有隐瞒这个丢脸的证据，就是拿巴人如其名，是个愚顽的人，他傲慢自私地对待所有的人，像他对待大卫一样。{21MR 214.1}[6]
§17
In the most taunting manner Nabal had sent the insulting message to David, accusing him of being a runaway slave. Abigail met David with respect, showing him honor and deference, and pleaded her cause eloquently and successfully. While not excusing her husbands insolence, she still pleaded for his life. She also revealed the fact that she was not only a discreet woman, but a godly woman, acquainted with the works and ways of God in David. She stated her firm faith in the fact that David was the anointed of the Lord and that his life was in her hands with God, but she did not hide the humiliating evidence that Nabal was, as his name indicated, a man of folly, who treated all with the same insolent selfishness with which he had treated David. {21MR 214.1}[6]
§18
亚比该的态度与安抚的礼物，软化了大卫态度。他说他本想消灭拿八和他的家，但他现在不想复仇了，因为他相信亚比该是上帝派来阻止他犯这个大恶的。他答应永远记住亚比该的要求，即使他登上以色列的宝座，也绝不会报复拿八的侮辱。{21MR 214.2}[7]
§19
Abigails manner and conciliatory gifts softened the spirit of David. He declared that it had been his intention to destroy Nabal and his household, but that now he would refrain from vengeance, for he believed that she had been sent by the Lord to prevent him from doing so great an evil. He promised that her request should be ever remembered, even when he should sit as ruler over Israel, and he would never seek retaliation for the insult of Nabal. {21MR 214.2}[7]
§20
拿八虽然拒绝供应处于贫乏中的大卫和跟从他的人，但他却在当天晚上自己和他的酒肉朋友大张盛筵，暴食纵欲，直至烂醉如泥。第二天，当他从醉酒中稍微清醒时，妻子告诉他如何几近死亡，及其祸患如何被扭转。他听着时，意识到若没有亚比该的智慧应对，他将面临怎样的恶果，于是心中充满了恐惧。他因惊恐过度而瘫痪，坐下来就再也没有从休克中醒过来。{21MR 214.3}[8]
§21
Although Nabal had refused the needy company of David and his men, yet that very night he made an extravagant feast for himself and his riotous friends, and indulged in eating and drinking till he sunk in drunken stupor. The next day after the effects of his drunken debauch had somewhat passed away, his wife told him of how near he had been to death, and of how the calamity had been averted. As he listened, he realized what a course of evil would have resulted but for Abigails discretion, and terror filled his heart. Palsied with horror, he sat down and never recovered from the shock. {21MR 214.3}[8]
§22
从这段历史中，我们看出女性在某些情况下，迅速而独立地按照她所知道的主的道路采取行动，乃是合宜的。妻子要平等地站在丈夫身旁，分担所有的人生责任，给予那位选她为终身伴侣的丈夫应得的敬重。{21MR 214.4}[9]
§23
From this history, we can see that there are circumstances under which it is proper for a woman to act promptly and independently, moving with decision in the way she knows to be the way of the Lord. The wife is to stand by the side of the husband as his equal, sharing all the responsibilities of life, rendering due respect to him who has selected her for his lifelong companion. {21MR 214.4}[9]
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“因为丈夫是妻子的头，如同基督是教会的头。祂[指基督]又是教会全体的救主”（弗5:23）。基督的统治既智慧又慈爱。当丈夫履行自己对妻子的责任时，他是在以基督对待教会的温柔运用自己的权威。当基督的灵管理丈夫的时候，妻子的顺从就只会带来安息和利益，因为他会对他妻子只要求会带来益处的事，就像基督对教会所要求的顺从那样。{21MR 215.1}[10]
§25
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He [referring to Christ], is the Saviour of the body, or church. Christs rule is one of wisdom and love, and when husbands fulfill their obligations to their wives, they will use their authority with the same tenderness as Christ uses toward the church. When the Spirit of Christ controls the husband, the wifes subjection will only result in rest and benefit, for he will require from her only that which will result in good, and in the same way that Christ requires submission from the church. {21MR 215.1}[10]
§26
主耶稣并不像一个工头那样统管祂的教会。祂对跟从祂的人说：“以后我不再称你们为仆人，因仆人不知道主人所做的事。我乃称你们为朋友；因我从我父所听见的，已经都告诉你们了。不是你们拣选了我，是我拣选了你们，并且分派你们去结果子，叫你们的果子常存，使你们奉我的名，无论向父求什么，他就赐给你们。我这样吩咐你们，是要叫你们彼此相爱。……你们要彼此相爱，像我爱你们一样；这就是我的命令。人为朋友舍命，人的爱心没有比这个大的。你们若遵行我所吩咐的，就是我的朋友了”（约15:15-17,12-14）。“丈夫也当照样爱妻子，如同爱自己的身子；爱妻子便是爱自己了”（弗5:28）。{21MR 215.2}[11]
§27
The Lord Jesus does not rule His church like a taskmaster. He said to His followers, [John 15:15-17, 12-14, quoted]. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. {21MR 215.2}[11]
§28
丈夫要谨慎、关怀、忍耐、忠诚和体贴。他们应当表显出爱心和同情。他们如果遵行基督的话语，他们的爱就不会带有低级、世俗、色情的性质，以致败坏自己的身体，使妻子衰弱多病。他们不会一面放纵卑劣的情欲，一面在妻子的耳边唠叨，要她们凡事顺服丈夫了。{21MR 215.3}[12]
§29
Husbands should be careful, attentive, constant, faithful, and compassionate. They should manifest love and sympathy. If they fulfill the words of Christ their love will not be of a base, earthly, sensual character, that will lead to the destruction of their own bodies, and bring upon their wives debility and disease. They will not indulge in the gratification of base passions, while ringing in the ears of their wives that they must be subject to the husband in everything. {21MR 215.3}[12]
§30
丈夫若有每一个真正的基督徒都必须具有的高贵的品格，纯洁的心思，高尚的意念，就必在婚姻关系中表明出来。他若以基督的心为心，就不会摧残身体，却要满怀温柔的爱，在基督里面竭力达到最高的标准。他会设法使自己的妻子有健康有勇气。他会努力说安慰的话，在家庭范围造成和睦的氛围。{21MR 215.4}[13]
§31
When the husband has the nobility of character, purity of heart, elevation of mind, that every true Christian must possess, it will be made manifest in the marriage relation. If he has the mind of Christ he will not be a destroyer of the body, but will be full of tender love, seeking to reach the highest standard in Christ. He will seek to keep his wife in health and courage. He will strive to speak words of comfort, to create an atmosphere of peace in the home circle. {21MR 215.4}[13]
§32
丈夫如果专横苛刻，批评妻子的行为，就保持不住妻子的尊重和感情。妻子会厌恶婚姻关系，不爱她的丈夫，因为他没有让自己成为可爱的人。主耶稣与祂教会的关系，并没有在许多丈夫与妻子的关系中正确地表达出来，因为他们没有遵行主的道。他们声称妻子必须凡事顺服他们。{21MR 215.5}[14]
§33
If the husband is tyrannical, exacting, critical of the actions of his wife, he cannot hold her respect and affection, and the marriage relation will become odious to her. She will not love her husband, because he does not try to make himself loveable. The Lord Jesus has not been correctly represented in His relation to the church by many husbands in their relation to their wives, for they do not keep the way of the Lord. They declare that their wives must be subject to them in everything. {21MR 215.5}[14]
§34
但丈夫自己如果不顺服基督，上帝就没有意思让他作一家之主，享有管辖权。他必须接受基督的管理，表现基督与教会的关系。他如果是一个卑劣、粗鲁、专横、任性、苛刻、傲慢的人，就决不要说丈夫是妻子的头，妻子必须在凡事上顺服他；因为他不是主；在真实的意义上，他也不是丈夫。{21MR 215.6}[15]
§35
But it was not the design of God that the husband should have control, as head of the house, when he himself does not submit to Christ. He must be under the rule of Christ that he may represent the relation of Christ to the church. If he is a coarse, rough, boisterous, egotistical, harsh, and overbearing man, let him never utter the word that the husband is the head of the wife, and that she must submit to him in everything; for he is not the Lord, he is not the husband in the true significance of the term. {21MR 215.6}[15]
§36
要是妻子与她丈夫有一样的品格模式，他们的孩子就有祸了；整个家庭就会成为地上的一个污点。丈夫非但不会成为家庭的纽带，用基督与教会的联合所象征的那种联合将家人团结在一起，反而会破坏每一感情的纽带，家庭成员就会分散，彼此充满苦毒怨恨。{21MR 216.1}[16]
§37
If the wife should have the same mold of character as her husband, woe be to the children; the whole family would be a blot upon the earth. Instead of being a house-band, to bind the family together into the unity that is symbolized by the unity of Christ and the church, he will break every tie of affection, and the members of the family will be scattered, filled with bitterness and hatred one toward another. {21MR 216.1}[16]
§38
作丈夫的应该研究救主的榜样，设法明白《以弗所书》中提出的基督与教会的关系象征着什么意思。丈夫在自己的家庭中要像一位救主。他愿意本着上帝所赐高贵的丈夫气概站立，始终设法提高自己的妻子和孩子吗？他愿意在自己周围发出纯洁甜美的气氛吗？难道他不愿像断言自己有权威那样勤勉地培养耶稣的爱，使之成为自己家中持久的原则吗？每一位为夫为父者都要学习明白基督的话，不要片面理解，只注意到妻子要顺服丈夫，而要在髑髅地十字架上的亮光中研究自己在家庭中的地位。{21MR 216.2}[17]
§39
Husbands should study the Pattern, and seek to know what is meant by the symbol presented in Ephesians, the relation Christ sustains to the church. The husband is to be as a Saviour in his family. Will he stand in his noble, God-given manhood, ever seeking to uplift his wife and children? Will he breathe about him a pure, sweet atmosphere? Will he not as assiduously cultivate the love of Jesus, making it an abiding principle in his home, as he will assert his claims to authority? Let every husband and father study to understand the words of Christ, not in a one-sided manner, merely dwelling upon the subjection of the wife to her husband, but in the light of the cross of Calvary study as to his own position in the family circle. {21MR 216.2}[17]
§40
“你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己；要用水借着道，把教会洗净，成为圣洁”（弗5:25,26）。耶稣献上自己，死在十字架上，为要洁净我们，并藉着圣灵的感化，保守我们脱离一切罪孽污秽。要让丈夫们花时间研究上帝的道，接受那使人服罪的道，还要让他们成为遵行主命令的人。{21MR 216.3}[18]
§41
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word. Jesus gave Himself up to die upon the cross in order that He might cleanse and keep us from all sin and pollution by the influence of the Holy Spirit. Let husbands devote some time to the study of the Word of God, receiving that word which convinces of sin, and let them become doers of the command of their Lord. {21MR 216.3}[18]
§42
圣经说：“你们既因顺从真理，洁净了自己的心，以致爱弟兄没有虚假，就当从清洁的心彼此切实相爱。你们蒙了重生，不是由于能坏的种子，乃是由于不能坏的种子，是藉着上帝活泼常存的道”（彼前1:22,23）。{21MR 216.4}[19]
§43
The Bible says, Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently: being born again, not of corruptible, but of incorruptible seed, by the Word of God, which liveth and abideth forever [1 Peter 1:22, 23]. {21MR 216.4}[19]
§44
作丈夫的要研究基督的话，不要查明妻子必须做到多么完美的顺从，而要查明自己如何能拥有基督的心志，变得纯洁高雅，适合担任一家之主。一切邪情恶欲都必须克服，基督对祂教会的爱必须在家庭圈子中体现出来。在行为和诚实上作丈夫的人必做那些使人和睦的事。基督徒爱心的果子必在家中表现出来的谦恭礼貌和圣洁温柔的感情中显明出来。{21MR 216.5}[20]
§45
Let those who stand as husbands study the words of Christ, not to find out how complete must be the subjection of the wife, but how he may have the mind of Christ, and become purified, refined, and fit to be the lord of his household. All wicked passions must be overcome, and the love which Christ has exercised toward His church must be symbolized in the family circle. Husbands who are husbands in deed and in truth will do those things which make for peace. The fruit of Christian love will be seen in the courtesy, in the holy, tender affection that is manifested in the home. {21MR 216.5}[20]
§46
他们会在忧伤的时期安慰、鼓励和同情妻子孩子。他们会设法保持自己的意念和平、高尚、向上，以便完善品格。那些在自己家中开放撒但的战场，因表现出一种狭隘、可鄙、像拿巴一样的精神而惹怒自己的妻子孩子之人的做法与基督所规划出的做法多么相反啊！当一个男人专横跋扈时，就使他的妻子希望从未进入婚姻关系，然而当婚姻生活是应有的样子时，就是天上生活的代表了。{21MR 217.1}[21]
§47
They will comfort and encourage, sympathizing with wives and children in times of sorrow. They will seek to keep their minds peaceful, elevated, and uplifted, that they may be perfect in character. How opposite from the course which Christ has marked out, is the course of those who open the battlefield of Satan within their homes, provoking their wives and children to wrath by the manifestation of a narrow, contemptible, Nabal-like spirit. When a man is domineering, it causes his wife to wish that she had never entered the marriage relation, but when married life is what it should be, it is a representation of the life in heaven. {21MR 217.1}[21]
§48
“丈夫也当照样爱妻子，如同爱自己的身子；爱妻子便是爱自己了。从来没有人恨恶自己的身子，总是保养顾惜，正像基督待教会一样”（弗5:28,29）。这就是妻子在与她丈夫的联合中被描绘成的样子。“然而，你们各人都当爱妻子，如同爱自己一样。妻子也当敬重她的丈夫”（弗5:33）。要是人人都是行道的人而不只是听道的人，还怎么可能有不幸福的家庭呢？主并不要求不可能的事，然而人人都当靠从上帝口中所出的一切话而活，那些这么做的人必在自己的婚姻生活中尊荣他们的救赎主。{21MR 217.2}[22]
§49
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. Thus it is that the wife is represented in her union with her husband. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. How could there be unhappy families if all were doers of the Word and not hearers only? The Lord does not require that which is impossible, but all are to live by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God, and those who do this will honor their Redeemer in their married life. {21MR 217.2}[22]
§50
结为终身伴侣的人，具有各自的特性和职责。他们各有自己的工作。但妇女的价值不可按照她们的工作量来权衡，像牲畜的负重那样。妻子应当成为聪明丈夫的妻子和伴侣，造福于家庭。她当步步自问：“这是否符合真正妇女的标准？”“我如何使我在家中的影响基督化呢？”丈夫应当让妻子知道他欣赏她的工作。{21MR 217.3}[23]
§51
The two who unite their interest in life will have distinct characteristics and individual responsibilities. Each one will have his or her work, but women are not to be valued by the amount of work they can do, as are beasts of burden. The wife is to grace the family circle as a wife and companion to a wise husband. At every step she should inquire, Is this the standard of true womanhood? and, How shall I make my influence Christlike in my home? The husband should let his wife know that he appreciates her work. {21MR 217.3}[23]
§52
当有实际敬虔的父母的孩子出生时，他们不会对如何教育儿女符合世界的标准而烦恼，而会问：“我们应该怎样安排我们孩子的教育好使主喜悦呢？”他们会查考活泼的圣言以便明白主的道路，并带领他们的孩子归向基督。他们会教导儿女基督的训词，训练他们成为与上帝同工的人，说：“我们的儿子从幼年好像树栽子长大；我们的女儿如同殿角石，是按建宫的样式凿成的”（诗144:12）。这种打磨的工作尤其是交给母亲的，而这就是真正的传道工作。{21MR 217.4}[24]
§53
When children are born to parents who have practical godliness, they will not be troubled as to how to educate them to meet the worlds standard, but their question will be, How shall we order the education of our children to please the Lord? They will search the living oracles that they may understand the way of the Lord and lead their children to Christ. They will teach them the precepts of Christ and train them to be workers together with God, saying, That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace. This polishing work especially devolves upon the mother, and this is true missionary work. {21MR 217.4}[24]
§54
最先要做成的工作就是在家庭圈子里的。那些没有意向舍己，自卑，像小孩子一样屈服和顺服的人，不是与基督表同情的人，并没有凭经验知识认识祂。耶稣在回答“天国里谁是最大的？”这个问题时，叫了一个小孩子来，说：“我实在告诉你们，你们若不回转，变成小孩子的样式，断不得进天国。所以，凡自己谦卑像这小孩子的，他在天国里就是最大的。凡为我的名接待一个像这小孩子的，就是接待我。凡使这信我的一个小子跌倒的，倒不如把大磨石拴在这人的颈项上，沉在深海里”（太18:3-6）。基督徒家庭的首要任务，就是确保基督的灵住在里面，使家庭的每一个成员都能背起自己的十字架，遵行耶稣所引导的道路。（《文稿》1891年17号）怀爱伦著作托管委员会1991年1月17日全文发表于马里兰州银泉市。{21MR 217.5}[25]
§55
The first work essential to be done is in the home circle. Those who do not have a disposition to deny self, to humble self, to be yielding and submissive, even as a little child, are not in sympathy with Christ and do not know Him by an experimental knowledge. In answer to the question, Who shall be greatest in the kingdom of heaven? Jesus called a little child unto Him, and said, [Matthew 18:3-6, quoted]. The first work to be done in a Christian home is to see that the Spirit of Christ abides there, that every member of the household may be able to take his cross and follow where Jesus leads the way.--Ms 17, 1891. Ellen G. White Estate Silver Spring, Maryland January 17, 1991. Entire Ms. {21MR 217.5}[25]