第1405号 日记摘选，1892年7..
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第1405号 日记摘选，1892年7..
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MR No. 1405 - Excerpts From Diary, July 6-31, 1892; Strong Expressions of Faith in Spite of Physical Trials
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澳大利亚，墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月6日。我真是感激不尽，因为我能告诉主我一切的恐惧和困惑。我感到自己是在祂翅膀的荫庇下。一个不信的人曾问一位敬畏上帝的年轻人：“你所敬拜的上帝有多伟大？”“非常伟大，”回答道：“祂充满无限的空间，然而又如此地微小，可以住在每颗圣化的心中。”{19MR 287.1}[1]
§4
Preston, Melbourne, Australia, July 6, 1892. I am so thankful that I can tell the Lord all my fears and perplexities. I feel that I am under the shield of His wings. An infidel once asked a God-fearing youth, How great is the God you worship? So great, was the reply, that He fills immensity, and yet so small that He dwells in every sanctified heart. {19MR 287.1}[1]
§5
啊，宝贵的救主，我渴望祢的拯救！“我的心切慕祢，如鹿切慕溪水”（诗42:1）。我渴望对耶稣有更清晰的认识。我爱思想祂无瑕疵的人生，默想祂的教训。有多少次我重复这样的话：“凡劳苦担重担的人，可以到我这里来，我就使你们得安息”（太11:28）。{19MR 287.2}[2]
§6
O precious Saviour, I long for Thy salvation! As the hart panteth after the waterbrooks, so panteth my soul after Thee (Psalms 42:1). I long for a clearer view of Jesus. I love to think of His spotless life, to meditate upon His lessons. How many times I repeat the words, Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28). {19MR 287.2}[2]
§7
多数时间我满身疼痛，但我不愿因抱怨而不配基督徒之名。我确信这苦难的功课会荣耀上帝，会成为一种警告的手段，告诉他人避免在对身体健康非常不利的难堪环境下不停地劳苦。{19MR 287.3}[3]
§8
Much of the time my body is full of pain, but I will not by complaining become unworthy of the name Christian. I am assured that this lesson of suffering will be to the glory of God, and [a] means of warning others to avoid continuous labor under circumstances so unfavorable to health of the body. {19MR 287.3}[3]
§9
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月7日。主施恩给了我力量，好写重要的信件。弟兄们常来找我商议。我感到极其确信，强烈地相信这场冗长沉重的苦难[怀爱伦在写作《历代的愿望》时曾有数月之久遭受了炎性风湿病的剧烈痛苦。她在病痛中再三转向主求安慰，最终得了医治和复原。]是为了主的荣耀。我不会发怨言，因为当我在夜间醒来时，似乎耶稣正在看着我。《以赛亚书》51章对我来说极其宝贵。祂担当我们一切的重担。我怀着确信和盼望读这一章。{19MR 287.4}[4]
§10
Preston, Melbourne, July 7, 1892. The Lord strengthens me by His grace to write important letters. The brethren frequently come to me for counsel. I feel a strong assurance that this tedious affliction [FOR MONTHS WHILE WRITING THE DESIRE OF AGES ELLEN WHITE SUFFERED KEENLY FROM INFLAMMATORY RHEUMATISM. IN HER PAINFUL AFFLICTION SHE TURNED REPEATEDLY TO THE LORD FOR CONSOLATION AND EVENTUAL HEALING AND RESTORATION.] is for the glory of the Lord. I will not murmur, for when I wake in the night it seems that Jesus is looking upon me. The fifty-first chapter of Isaiah is exceedingly precious to me. He bears all our burdens. I read this chapter with assurance and hope. {19MR 287.4}[4]
§11
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月8日。给美国的邮件今天结束。我寄走了一百三十页——给赫斯格长老、巴特勒长老，E.怀特、弗兰克和海蒂·贝尔登、马克森医生、艾拉和梅布尔·怀特、L.M.霍尔姐妹、史密斯长老、科利斯长老、C.H.琼斯和许多人的信。{19MR 288.1}[5]
§12
Preston, Melbourne, July 8, 1892. The mail for America closed today. I sent off one hundred and thirty pages--letters to Elder Haskell, Elder Butler, E. White, Frank and Hattie Belden, Dr. Maxson, Ella and Mable White, Sister L.M. Hall, Elder Smith, Elder Corliss, C.H. Jones, and many more. {19MR 288.1}[5]
§13
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月9日。昨夜我12点以后就睡不着了。我的思想比身体的疼痛更令我烦恼。有些考验最好不要细想，因为似乎没有清晰的出路。我设法把重担卸给主，但我不总是把它留在主那里。当我应该把它留在救主那里的时候，我又把它背起来了。我深感忧伤，因为在我的工作中与我联络的人没有都处在受圣灵控制的有利心态。我无法继续雇用现在与我联络的一些人，除非主使他们归正，引导他们看到他们的心必须与祂的旨意和谐一致。当自我没有牺牲时，它就成为一股为恶的统治性势力。{19MR 288.2}[6]
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Preston, Melbourne, July 9, 1892. Last night I was not able to sleep after twelve oclock. It was my thoughts more than pain of body that troubled me. There are some trials that it is not best to dwell upon, because there seems no clear way out of them. I try to cast my burden upon the Lord, but I do not always leave it there. I take it up again when I should leave it with the Saviour. I feel deeply grieved that all connected with me in my work are not in a favorable state of mind to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. I cannot keep in my employ some of those now connected with me unless the Lord converts them, leading them to see that their hearts must be brought into harmony with His will. When self is not sanctified, it becomes a ruling power for evil. {19MR 288.2}[6]
§15
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月10日。我五点钟叫醒了艾米丽，让她挑旺炉火并帮我穿衣。我感谢主使我比通常睡得好些。我醒着的时辰都用在了祈祷和默想上。我忍不住要想的问题是：为什么我没有得到恢复健康的福气？我要把这些月来长久患病解释为上帝不喜欢我来澳大利亚的证据吗？我坚决回答说，不，我不敢这样做。{19MR 288.3}[7]
§16
Preston, Melbourne, July 10, 1892. I awoke Emily at five oclock to build my fire and help me to dress. I thank the Lord that I had a better nights rest than usual. My wakeful hours I employ in prayer and meditation. The question forces itself upon me, Why do I not receive the blessing of restoration to health? Shall I interpret these long months of sickness as evidence of the displeasure of God because I came to Australia? I answer decidedly, No, I dare not do this. {19MR 288.3}[7]
§17
在离开美国之前有时候我想，主不要我到那么远的国家去，因我年事已高且因过度操劳而疲惫衰弱了。但我听从了总会的意见，就像我有时在自己没有清楚的亮光时总是努力去做的。我来到澳大利亚，发现这里信徒的状况必须得到帮助。到达这里之后，有数周之久我认真做工像从前一样。有话赐给我去讲，论到个人敬虔的必要性。{19MR 288.4}[8]
§18
At times before leaving America, I thought that the Lord did not require me to go to a country so far away, at my age and when I was prostrated by overwork. But I followed the voice of the [General] Conference, as I have ever tried to do at times when I had no clear light myself. I came to Australia and found the believers here in a condition where they must have help. For weeks after reaching here I labored as earnestly as I have ever labored in my life. Words were given me to speak in regard to the necessity of personal piety. {19MR 288.4}[8]
§19
回声出版社的管理需要坚决改变。缺乏正确的规划使这个机构的影响降低和受到限制，而主的大工则急需完成。{19MR 289.1}[9]
§20
There is need of a decided change in the administration of the Echo office. The lack of proper planning has kept this institution bound down and limited in its influence, when the Lord has a large work that must be done. {19MR 289.1}[9]
§21
在会议期间主为我行了事，但在会议结束时，我意识到自己操劳过度了。我们搬进离北菲茨罗伊五英里的一个幽静的小屋里。从那时起我就成了一个几乎无助的病人。{19MR 289.2}[10]
§22
During the conference the Lord wrought for us, but at its close I became aware that I had overdone. We moved into a retired cottage five miles out of North Fitzroy, and ever since I have been an almost helpless invalid. {19MR 289.2}[10]
§23
我想到这一点，层层迷雾就包围了我。但主对我说：要往高处行。要呼吸信心的纯洁空气。当我仰望耶稣时，黑暗就消退了。我在基督里很快乐。主的应许是多么宝贵啊！“兴起发光，因为你的光已经来到，耶和华的荣耀发现照耀你”（赛60:1）。{19MR 289.3}[11]
§24
I think of this, and the mist and fog gathers about me. But the Lord speaks to me saying, Come up higher. Breathe the pure atmosphere of faith. As I look to Jesus, the darkness flees away, and I am happy in Christ. How exceedingly precious is the promise, Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee (Isaiah 60:l). {19MR 289.3}[11]
§25
我在澳大利亚，我相信自己就在上帝希望我在的地方。因为受苦是我的份，所以我绝不想打退堂鼓。我蒙赐予有福的保证，确信耶稣是我的，而我是祂的孩子。那公义日头的光线驱散了黑暗。除了那位在我们一切苦难中同受苦难的，谁能理解我受的痛苦呢？除了对那位体恤我们软弱的主、那位知道如何搭救受试探之人的主去说，我能对谁说呢？{19MR 289.4}[12]
§26
I am in Australia, and I believe that I am just where the Lord wants me to be. Because suffering is my portion, I have no thought of beating a retreat. The blessed assurance is given me that Jesus is mine and that I am His child. The darkness is dispelled by the bright beams of the Sun of Righteousness. Who can understand the pain I suffer but the One who is afflicted in all our afflictions? To whom can I speak but to Him who is touched with the feeling of our infirmities, and who knows how to succor those who are tempted? {19MR 289.4}[12]
§27
当我恳切祈祷为要复原，而主似乎不回答时，我的灵几乎在我里面发昏。于是亲爱的救主便使我留心祂的同在。祂对我说：“你难道不能信靠那位用祂自己的血赎买了你的主吗？我已把你铭刻在我的手掌上。”然后我的心灵就因上帝的临格得滋养。我就被提拔脱离自我，宛如进入到上帝的同在中。{19MR 289.5}[13]
§28
When I pray earnestly for restoration, and it seems that the Lord does not answer, my spirit almost faints within me. Then it is that the dear Saviour makes me mindful of His presence. He says to me, Cannot you trust Him who has purchased you with His own blood? I have graven thee on the palms of My hands. Then my soul is nourished with the divine Presence. I am lifted out of myself, as it were, into the presence of God. {19MR 289.5}[13]
§29
今天我乘车去了《回声》出版社又回来。我已经有数周之久不能这么做了。我用心灵和声音赞美主我在变得强壮起来。我渴望向在聚居地的人们作我的见证。{19MR 290.1}[14]
§30
Today I rode to the Echo office and back. I have not been able to do this for weeks. I praise the Lord with heart and soul and voice that I am growing stronger. I long to bear my testimony to the people in the Colonies. {19MR 290.1}[14]
§31
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月11日。我昨天晚上睡得不是很好。下午我受劝乘车出去，因为阳光灿烂。我这么做了，然而这太耗费我的力气了。{19MR 290.2}[15]
§32
Preston, Melbourne, July 11, 1892. I did not sleep very well last night. I was urged to ride out in the afternoon, because the sun shone so beautifully. I did so, but it was too much of a tax on my strength. {19MR 290.2}[15]
§33
我因想到要在这些聚居区完成的工作而心情沉重。我们的工人很少，而且这些工人不总是设法以最佳方式寻找拯救迷失的羊。一些人似乎认为讲道就是他们工作的全部和主旨了。然而有比讲道多得多的事要做。个人之工决不可被忽略。忠心的传道人必以牧人保护羊群的深刻兴趣为灵魂警醒。他必为听他讲道的人做个人之工，跟他们谈话并与他们一起祷告。这种努力会结出果子来荣耀上帝。{19MR 290.3}[16]
§34
I am weighed down by the thought of the work to be done in these Colonies. We have so few workers, and these do not always try in the best way to seek and save the lost sheep. Some seem to think that to preach is the sum and substance of their work. But there is much more than preaching to do. Personal work must on no account be neglected. The faithful minister will watch for souls with the deep interest that a shepherd [has who] guards his sheep. He will do personal work for those to whom he preaches, talking and praying with them. Such effort will bear fruit to Gods glory. {19MR 290.3}[16]
§35
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月12日。今天下午我写了许多页关于基督生平的内容。我渴望大量上帝的灵，以便能写出人们需要的东西。在这个国家有一项大工要完成。一些正在为民众工作的人并不知道真归正是什么意思。一些人似乎以为他们若能从事某项工作，就归正了。但他们并不顺服主的灵。{19MR 290.4}[17]
§36
Preston, Melbourne, July 12, 1892. This afternoon I wrote a number of pages on the life of Christ. I long for a large portion of the Spirit of God, that I may write the things which the people need. There is a great work to be done in this country. Some who are laboring for the people do not know what true conversion means. Some seem to think that if they can do a certain work, they are converted. But they are not submissive to the Spirit of the Lord. {19MR 290.4}[17]
§37
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月13日。昨天晚上我休息得更好。我的养女梅·沃林整天把火生得都很好，我没有感到寒冷。早上我写作基督的生平，下午乘车出去了。我确信我的工作还没有完成。我想到主对我的关照就大得安慰。我要使大家确信真理得到实践就会对凡来到它影响之下的人有一种令人信服的能力。{19MR 290.5}[18]
§38
Preston, Melbourne, July 13, 1892. Last night I rested better. May Walling, my adopted daughter, kept up a good fire all day, and I felt no chill. In the morning I wrote on the life of Christ, and in the afternoon I rode out. I am sure that my work is not yet done. I feel great comfort in the thought that the Lord has a watchcare over me. I must assure all that the truth lived and practiced will have a convincing power over all who come under its influence. {19MR 290.5}[18]
§39
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月14日。昨天夜里我非常紧张。星期一和星期二的寒战使我的肩部和臀部无力和疼痛。我多多向主献上恳切的祷告，祈求祂圣灵的同在。我必须学习凭着信心生活。这样，我黑暗痛苦的时辰就会变得最为光明。信心不是眼见。它是所望之事的实底，是未见之事的确据。我的唯一希望是在基督里。得救是本乎恩，也因着信。这是上帝的恩赐。{19MR 291.1}[19]
§40
Preston, Melbourne, July 14, 1892. I was very nervous last night. The chills that I had on Monday and Tuesday resulted in very lame, painful shoulders and hips. I have done much earnest praying to the Lord for the presence of His Spirit. We must learn to live by faith. Then my dark and painful hours will be the brightest. Faith is not sight. It is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. I have no hope except in Christ. Salvation is of grace through faith it is the gift of God. {19MR 291.1}[19]
§41
我的心渴望主。我要时刻受祂劝勉的引导。我不敢信赖自己的判断。我赞美我的救赎主保守的恩典。我赞美祂，因为祂不让仇敌碰我的头。我的全身、骨骼、肌肉、神经都疼痛，但我的头脑却很清晰，我的记忆力很好。我的手臂和肩膀十分痛苦，无法靠自己穿衣脱衣。几个月以来，我没人帮助就无法上下床。但我的健康状况在改善。在放好位置不压迫手臂和肩膀后，我继续写作，求主赐福我所写的文字。我知道祂在帮助我。在患病的每一个月里，我几乎写了两百页的信纸。{19MR 291.2}[20]
§42
My heart longs after the Lord. I want to be led by His counsel every hour. I dare not trust my own Judgment. I praise my Redeemer for His sustaining grace. I praise Him because He has not allowed the enemy to touch my head. My entire body--bone, muscle, and nerves--has been afflicted, but my head has been clear, my memory good. I have suffered much pain in my arms and across my shoulders, making it impossible for me to dress or undress myself. For months I was unable to get on or off the bed without assistance. But my health is certainly improving. After arranging my position so as not to bring any strain on arms or shoulders, I go to work at my writing, asking the Lord to bless that which I write. I know that He helps me. During each month of my sickness, I have written nearly two hundred pages of letter paper. {19MR 291.2}[20]
§43
我目前在写基督的生平。我知道仇敌会千方百计阻挠我，但我要紧靠耶稣，因为祂是我的依靠。{19MR 291.3}[21]
§44
I am now writing on the life of Christ. I know that the enemy will make every possible effort to hinder me, but I shall cling to Jesus, for He is my dependence. {19MR 291.3}[21]
§45
我在醒着的时辰极其恳切地寻求了主，求祂使我的软弱与祂力量的结合，使我的无知与祂的智慧结合，我的不配与祂的功劳结合，我的脆弱与祂永久的威力结合，我的贫穷与祂无限的富足结合。当我所经历的好几个月的痛苦临到我时，我曾感到惊奇，因为这场苦难没有因立时应允祷告而消除。但有应许说：“我的恩典够你用的”（林后12:9），这已应验在我的情况中。就我而言，不会有任何的疑惑。我疼痛的时辰已经成了我祷告的时辰，因我已知道该向谁倾诉我的忧伤。我有特权藉着持住无穷的能力来加强我微弱的力量。我夜以继日地站在上帝应许的坚固磐石上。{19MR 291.4}[22]
§46
During my wakeful hours I have sought the Lord most earnestly, asking Him to join my weakness to His strength, my ignorance to His wisdom, my unworthiness to His merit, my frailty to His enduring might, my poverty to His boundless wealth. When the affliction under which I have been suffering for several months came upon me, I was surprised that it was not removed at once in answer to prayer. But the promise, My grace is sufficient, has been fulfilled in my case. There can be no doubt on my part. My hours of pain have been hours of prayer; for I have known to whom to take my sorrows. I have the privilege of reinforcing my feeble strength by laying hold upon infinite power. By day and night I stand on the solid rock of Gods promises. {19MR 291.4}[22]
§47
我的心因爱的信靠而向往耶稣。祂知道什么对我最好。“要在患难之日求告我；我必搭救你，你也要荣耀我”（诗50:15），我若不支取这个应许，我的夜晚就会孤独。{19MR 292.1}[23]
§48
My heart goes out to Jesus in loving trust. He knows what is best for me. My nights would be lonely did I not claim the promise, Call upon Me in the day of trouble I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify Me (Psalms 50:15). {19MR 292.1}[23]
§49
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月15日。主已使我又经历了一晚。我没睡好。这个冬天的天气并不宜人，然而空气很有穿透力，只有壁炉，我无法在这些有高度的房间里保持温暖舒适。我有两次严重着凉，而这大大加剧了我双臂和臀部的僵硬和疼痛。然而尽管如此，我昨天还是能花大部分时间写作基督的生平。我赞美主，因为我感到与我的救主很亲近。我的信心以上帝丰富的应许为粮，祂的应许充满了安慰和盼望。“耶稣我灵的良人，让我靠近祢胸怀，波浪滚滚近我身，狂风急浪令我惊。求主容我深藏躲，领我进入平安所；直至风暴全过去，接我永在天国住。疲乏灵魂来就主，主外别无避难所；求赐矜怜赐保全，千万千万莫离我；因我专心仰望主，专心向主求援助；身世孤单多愁苦，救助慈荫容我躲。{19MR 292.2}[24]
§50
Preston, Melbourne, July 15, 1892. The Lord has brought me through another night. I did not sleep well. The weather this winter has not been unpleasant, but the air is very penetrating, and I cannot manage to keep comfortably warm in these high rooms, with only a grate fire. I have had two severe chills, and this has greatly increased the lameness in my shoulders and hips. But notwithstanding this, I was able to spend most of yesterday writing on the life of Christ. I praise the Lord because I feel a nearness to my Saviour. My faith feeds on the rich promises of God, which are full of comfort and hope. Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to Thy bosom fly, While the billows near me roll, while the tempest still is high. Hide me, O my Saviour, hide! Till the storm of life is past. Safe into the haven guide, Oh, receive my soul at last. Other refuge have I none; hangs my helpless soul on Thee; Leave, Oh, leave me not alone! Still support and comfort me, All my trust on Thee is stayed, all my help from Thee I bring. Cover my defenseless head with the shadow of Thy wing. {19MR 292.2}[24]
§51
我整个人都在渴慕主。我不满足于偶然的光照。我必须有更多的亮光。基督说过：“人若渴了，可以到我这里来喝”（约7:37）。“人若喝我所赐的水就永远不渴。我所赐的水要在他里头成为泉源，直涌到永生”（约4:14）。{19MR 292.3}[25]
§52
My whole being longs after the Lord. I am not content to be satisfied with occasional flashes of light. I must have more. If any man thirst, Christ said, let him come unto Me, and drink [John 7:37]. The water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life (John 4:14). {19MR 292.3}[25]
§53
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月16日。又一个夜晚过去了。我睡着了，得到的休息比我上床的时候想过的多。天气寒冷凛冽，我着凉两天使我非常疼痛。我一动就痛，但我没有沮丧。我在主里很有勇气。当我们始终将脸面转向公义的日头时，上帝就喜悦。我在这个安息日想要作见证，证明耶和华本为善，祂的慈爱永远长存。当我们陷入烦恼，为忧虑所困时，主就与我们亲近，吩咐我们将一切的忧虑卸给祂，因为祂顾念我们。{19MR 293.1}[26]
§54
Preston, Melbourne, July 16, 1892. Another night has passed. I slept and rested more than I thought I should when I went to bed. The weather has been cold and boisterous, and the chills that I have had for two days have made me suffer much pain. I cannot move without pain, but I am not cast down. I am of good courage in the Lord. God is pleased when we keep our faces turned toward the Sun of Righteousness. On this Sabbath day I wish to bear the testimony that the Lord is good, and that His mercy endureth forever. When we are in trouble and pressed down with anxieties, the Lord is near, and He bids us cast all our care upon Him, because He cares for us. {19MR 293.1}[26]
§55
在我生病期间，我体验了上帝大量的爱。祂在祂儿女痛苦的时候就近他们。在危险的时候祂是他们的避难所。在忧伤时祂赐给他们喜乐和安慰。我们难道要转离活水的泉源、我们的救赎主，去为自己开凿破裂不能存水的池子吗？在大难临头时，我们是向与我们一样软弱的人去求助呢？还是投奔那一位以“大能施行拯救”的主呢？祂已经展开祂的臂膀；祂发出慈爱的邀请说：“凡劳苦担重担的人，可以到我这里来，我就使你们得安息”（太11:28）。{19MR 293.2}[27]
§56
During my sickness I have experienced the love of God in large measure. He comes to all His children in their affliction. In time of danger He is their refuge. In sorrow He offers them joy and consolation. Shall we turn from the Redeemer, the fountain of living water, to hew out for ourselves broken cisterns, which can hold no water? When danger approaches, shall we seek for help from those as weak as ourselves, or shall we flee to Him who is mighty to save? His arms are open wide, and He utters the gracious invitation, Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28). {19MR 293.2}[27]
§57
救主是我们的训慰师。我已证明祂是这样的。我不明白我为什么如此受折磨。起先我曾尝试找出我为何没有力量在这个国家向人们作见证的原因。但我不再尝试了。我已将我的道路和我的意愿交在上帝手中；因为祂知道什么对我最好。如果我们不肯爱祂和顺从祂，令我们无可推诿的，就不是主的威荣和祂无比权能的显示，而是祂向那些不肯甘心服事祂的人所表现的慈爱、怜悯、忍耐和宽容。{19MR 293.3}[28]
§58
The Saviour is our Comforter. This I have proved Him to be. I do not understand why I am so afflicted. At first I tried to reason out why I did not have strength to bear my testimony to the people in this country. But I try no longer. I have given my way and my will into the hands of God; for He knows what is best for me. It is not the manifestation of His great and awful majesty and unparalleled power that will leave us without excuse if we refuse Him our love and obedience. It is the love, the compassion, the patience, the longsuffering that He has shown which will witness against those who do not offer Him the willing service of their lives. {19MR 293.3}[28]
§59
凡尽心、尽性、尽意转向上帝的人，必在祂里面得着平安稳妥。{19MR 294.1}[29]
§60
Those who turn to God with heart and soul and mind will find in Him peaceful security. {19MR 294.1}[29]
§61
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月17日。我感谢主，漫长痛苦的夜晚过去了。今天我我比平时遭受了更多痛苦。我几乎因虚弱和疼痛而无奈，可是我倚赖我的帮助者。祂决不令我失望。祂使我心里感到年轻，精神愉快，因祂的恩典而感恩，非常感恩。我很痛，但我也有平安和安慰。{19MR 294.2}[30]
§62
Preston, Melbourne, July 17, 1892. I thank the Lord that the long, painful night has passed. Today I am suffering more than usual. I am almost helpless with weakness and pain, yet I am trusting in my Helper. He never fails me. He makes me feel young in heart, cheerful in spirit, and thankful, so thankful, for His grace. I have much pain, but I have peace and comfort also. {19MR 294.2}[30]
§63
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月18日。我度过了一个难熬之夜。我很疲倦，却无法入眠，因为我全身疼痛。我期待天亮，以便能起床。在这些难熬的时辰，我仰望耶稣，因为我知道祂体恤我的软弱。祂曾经在人性之中藉着苦难而得以完全。祂知道我们需要什么，能够承受什么。祂会赐给我们恩典忍受祂带给我们的一切试炼与考验。{19MR 294.3}[31]
§64
Preston, Melbourne, July 18, 1892. I had a very trying night. I was very weary, but was unable to rest because my body was full of pain. I longed for the morning, so that I might sit up. In these trying times I look to Jesus, for I know that He is touched with the feeling of my infirmities. In His humanity He was made perfect through suffering. He knows just what we need, just what we can bear, and He will give us grace to endure every trial and test that He brings upon us. {19MR 294.3}[31]
§65
我不断祈求更加与上帝亲近。我渴望在基督徒生活中有更深的属灵经验和更多的活力。我想要被提升，超越尘世的一切，进入更加纯净圣洁的气氛中。我发现必须使自我保持顺服。我必须谨慎择言，必须不断看守我的精神，唯恐内心不会纯净圣洁。撒但总是在设法将我们的思想引到错误的方向，我必须守护心灵的每一通道，免得他胜过我。{19MR 294.4}[32]
§66
My constant prayer is for a greater nearness to God. I long for deeper spirituality, for more vigor in the Christian life. I want to be lifted above all earthliness into a purer, holier atmosphere. I find that self must be kept in subjection. My words must be well chosen, my spirit constantly guarded, lest the heart shall not be pure and holy. Satan is ever trying to lead our thoughts in a wrong direction, and I must guard every avenue of the soul, lest he gain the victory over me. {19MR 294.4}[32]
§67
我今天早上为基督的平安而赞美上帝。我珍视从天而来的眷爱的每一个记号。我渴望穿上基督的义。{19MR 294.5}[33]
§68
I praise God this morning for the peace of Christ. I prize every token of favor from heaven. I long to be clothed with the righteousness of Christ. {19MR 294.5}[33]
§69
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月19日。夜里我睡得很少。但我虽然受了许多苦，却并不灰心。人性是多么软弱啊！我们依靠自己能做的事情是多么少啊！然而当信徒得蒙上帝圣灵的光照时，就会看到耶稣的完美。他瞻仰这样的完美，就有了莫可言喻的喜乐。在自我里他看到罪恶与无助；在救赎主里看到无罪和无限的能力。基督作出牺牲，为了将祂的义分给我们，这个题目我们应越来越热心地研究。对我来说，自我不算什么，基督才是一切。我的祈祷是：“求祢作我坚固居所，容我经常躲。”{19MR 295.1}[34]
§70
Preston, Melbourne, July 19, 1892. I slept little during the night, but though I suffer much pain I am not discouraged. How weak is humanity! How little we can do by depending on self. But when enlightened by the Spirit of God, the believer beholds the perfection of Jesus, and, beholding this perfection, he rejoices with joy unspeakable. In self he sees sin and helplessness; in the Redeemer, sinlessness and infinite power. The sacrifice that Christ made in order that He might impart to us His righteousness--this is a theme upon which we may dwell with deeper and still deeper enthusiasm. Self is nothing; Jesus is everything to me. My prayer is, Be Thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort. {19MR 295.1}[34]
§71
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月20日。夜里我只睡了一会儿，但我不想看黑暗的一面。我朝公义的日头转过脸来，快乐地思考救主愿意赦免我的罪，洁净我的心灵。我们藉着仰望才能反映基督的形像。恩典改变人心的能力会使我们与上帝的性情有分。上帝的荣光已经照在基督的身上。藉着瞻仰祂，默想祂的自我牺牲，记住上帝本性一切丰盛都有形有体地居住在祂里面，信徒就会越来越近地被吸引到那能力之源。祂的爱在我们心中引导我们去寻找迷羊。藉着得人归于基督，信徒拿出证据表明他们爱祂。祂走过的路是祂的儿女们愿意选择跟从的路。{19MR 295.2}[35]
§72
Preston, Melbourne, July 20, 1892. During the past night I slept but little, but I am not going to look on the dark side. I turn my face to the Sun of Righteousness, and dwell with pleasure upon the Saviours willingness to pardon my sins and sanctify my soul. It is by beholding that we may reflect Christs image. The transforming power of grace can make me a partaker of the divine nature. On Christ the glory of God has shone, and by looking upon Christ, contemplating His self-sacrifice, remembering that in Him dwells all the fulness of the Godhead bodily, the believer is drawn closer and closer to the Source of power. His love in our hearts leads us to seek for lost sheep. By working to win souls to Christ, believers give evidence of their love for Him. The path that He trod is the one in which His children will choose to follow. {19MR 295.2}[35]
§73
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月21日。昨天傍晚收到了来自美国的邮件，威利和我在阅读我们的信时确实享受了盛筵。昨晚我只睡了一会儿。我的心渴望耶稣更多的同在。我不断祈求可以提升到更加纯净圣洁的气氛里。我恳求上帝消除我的苦难。虽然我继续受苦，但我得了安慰，因为想到耶稣知道且愿帮助我。我要在祂的光中见光。我的右臂不疼了，我为这个福气而感谢主。亲爱的救主必不撇下我们，也不丢弃我们。我要赞美祂，因为在我们一切的苦难中，祂鼓励我并且使我能因祂的大怜悯而欢喜快乐。{19MR 295.3}[36]
§74
Preston, Melbourne, July 21, 1892. The mail from America came last evening, and Willie and I had a feast indeed in reading our letters. During the past night I slept but little. My heart longs for more of the presence of Jesus. My constant prayer is that I may be uplifted into a purer, holier atmosphere. I am pleading with God to remove my suffering. And although I continue to suffer, I am comforted by the thought that Jesus knows, and that He will help me. I shall see light in His light. My right arm is free from pain, and for this blessing I thank the Lord. The dear Saviour will not leave nor forsake us. I will praise Him because in all our afflictions He encourages and enables me to rejoice in His great mercies. {19MR 295.3}[36]
§75
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月22日。我的夜晚充满了疼痛和不安，但我不会抱怨。我不会让不信占据我的心。我要谈论信心；我要因上帝对人的惊人善良而赞美祂。{19MR 296.1}[37]
§76
Preston, Melbourne, July 22, 1892. My nights are filled with pain and restlessness, but I will not complain. I will not let unbelief take possession of my heart. I will talk faith; I will praise God for His wonderful goodness to the children of men. {19MR 296.1}[37]
§77
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月23日。夜晚漫长而痛苦，但耶稣是我的安慰者和我的盼望。今天我能坐一会儿了。我没有从邻居们得到任何鼓励，他们是不信的人。他们说我肯定会终身残废；但我知道他们并不知道。他们不了解得到顺从的真理使我们与上帝心连心。我们有一位能医治的救主。大卫是一位以至高者为他居所的人。尽管大卫因偏离公义而受到了上帝的斥责和惩罚，但是主既见到他痛悔谦卑，就赦免了他的罪，接纳他进入与祂立约的关系中。{19MR 296.2}[38]
§78
Preston, Melbourne, July 23, 1892. The nights are long and painful, but Jesus is my Comforter and my Hope. Today I have been able to sit up very little. I receive no encouragement from my neighbors, who are unbelievers. They say that I will certainly be a cripple for life; but I know that they do not know. They do not realize that the truth obeyed binds our hearts up with God. We have a Saviour who can heal. David was one who made the Most High his habitation. And although David was rebuked and punished by God for his departing from righteousness, yet the Lord, seeing him penitent and humble, forgave his sins and took him into covenant relation with Himself. {19MR 296.2}[38]
§79
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月24日。我度过了一个很不安宁的夜晚，觉得有点沮丧。但我不会屈服于沮丧。我不会看黑暗面。我今天给凯洛格医生写了十二页信。我蒙指示要告诫他谨慎行事，否则他就肯定会失去方位。有许多令人困惑的问题出现要作决定，他需要大智慧以便持守主的道路。愿上帝赐给他特别的恩典。他需要一颗谦卑痛悔的心，他行事为人需要不断倚靠上帝，住在全能者的荫下。我敦促他要记住主已大大恩待了他。他的经验要受他对至高至圣的那一位的倚靠来管理。我担心凯洛格医生会随从不明智的顾问。{19MR 296.3}[39]
§80
Preston, Melbourne, July 24, 1892. I passed a very restless night, and feel somewhat depressed. But I will not yield to despondency. I will not look on the dark side. I wrote a twelve-page letter to Dr. Kellogg today. I am instructed to caution him to move guardedly, else he will surely lose his bearings. There are many perplexing questions coming up for decision, and he will need great wisdom in order to keep the way of the Lord. May God give him special grace. He needs a humble, contrite heart, and he needs to walk in constant dependence upon God, abiding under the shadow of the Almighty. I have urged him to remember that the Lord has greatly favored him. His experience will be governed by the dependence that he places upon the High and Holy One. I am afraid for Dr. Kellogg that he will follow unwise advisers. {19MR 296.3}[39]
§81
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月25日。昨天夜里我很多时间都醒着祷告。我决心将我自己、我的身、心、灵都投靠在主身上。我不能吃药。它们对我没有益处，而有伤害。我渴望主的福气。我的心向往上帝。我因祂的话而战兢。当我仰望耶稣、叙述祂的慈爱时，我就得到了鼓舞：“我在急难中求告耶和华，向我的上帝呼求。祂从殿中听了我的声音；我在祂面前的呼求入了祂的耳中。”“祂又领我到宽阔之处；祂救拔我，因祂喜悦我”（诗18:6,19）。“我爱耶和华，因为祂听了我的声音和我的恳求”（诗116:1）。这在我生病期间成了我昼夜的经验。{19MR 297.1}[40]
§82
Preston, Melbourne, July 25, 1892. Last night I spent many wakeful hours in prayer. I am resolved to cast myself, body, soul, and spirit, upon the Lord. I cannot take drugs. They do me no good, but harm. I long for the blessing of the Lord. My heart goes out after God. I tremble at His word. I am encouraged as I look to Jesus and recount His lovingkindnesses: In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: He heard my voice out of His temple, and my cry came before Him, even into His ears. He brought me forth also into a large place; He delivered me, because He delighted in me (Psalms 18:6, 19). I love the Lord, because He hath heard my voice and my supplications (Psalms 116:1). This has been my experience day and night during my sickness. {19MR 297.1}[40]
§83
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月26日。我感谢主，我是祂的孩子，我能呼叫：阿爸父。虽然我昼夜痛苦，但基督的恩典支持着我。我如果在耶稣里没有盼望，那将是何等孤单！我有一位救主，祂是生命的光。我在漫长失眠的时辰看见耶稣，对我来说是何等宝贵。“属血气的人不领会上帝圣灵的事，反倒以为愚拙，并且不能知道，因为这些事惟有属灵的人才能看透”（林前2:14）。{19MR 297.2}[41]
§84
Preston, Melbourne, July 26, 1892. I thank the Lord that I am His child, that I can cry, Abba Father. Although I am in pain day and night, yet the grace of Christ sustains me. If I had not hope in Jesus, how lonely I should be! I have a Saviour who is the light of life. How precious to me is the sight that I catch of Jesus during my long, wakeful hours. The natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God; neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned (1 Corinthians 2:14). {19MR 297.2}[41]
§85
我们非常需要上帝之灵的光照；因为只有这样，我们才能看见基督的荣耀，借着仰望和信靠祂，品格就得到改变。我们不再看我们的缺点，转而注意为我们做成的赎罪，便欢喜快乐，因为我们知道自己可以穿上基督的义。在祂里面居住着一切的丰盛。祂赐给每一个人恩典和赦免。当我们凭着信心仰望耶稣时，我们的信心就穿透了阴影。我们就敬爱上帝，因为祂赐给我们安慰者耶稣的奇妙的爱。{19MR 297.3}[42]
§86
How essential that we have the enlightenment of the Spirit of God; for thus only can we see the glory of Christ, and by beholding become changed from character to character in and through faith in Christ. We turn from the picture of our shortcomings to behold the atonement made for us, and we rejoice as we know that we may be clothed with Christs righteousness. In Him all fulness dwells. He has grace and pardon for every soul. As by faith we look to Jesus, our faith pierces the shadow, and we adore God for His wondrous love in giving Jesus the Comforter. {19MR 297.3}[42]
§87
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月27日。我希望不断地思想耶稣。我极其恳切地祈求我的意愿可以完全淹没在上帝的旨意里。我祈求耶稣的恢复之能，使我可以向这个国家的人传达一个信息。我渴望介绍真敬虔的简朴，说明我们在进入天国之前必须先变得像小孩子。我们必须像孩子一样充满信赖，相信上帝对我们所说的每一句话。我很遗憾地看到许多正在宣讲上帝之道的人自己并没有因就饮于纯净的生命水而得到更新。耶稣没有在他们里面成为泉源直涌到永生。他们正在失去他们可以拥有的许多东西，他们也没能回应基督的祈祷，因为他们不坐在耶稣脚前向祂学习。{19MR 298.1}[43]
§88
Preston, Melbourne, July 27, 1892. I desire that Jesus shall be in my thoughts continually. I pray most earnestly that my will may be completely submerged in the will of God. I pray for the restoring power of Jesus, that I may bear a message to the people of this country. I long to present the simplicity of true godliness, to show that before we enter the kingdom of heaven we must become as little children. We must be as trustful as a child, believing every word that God speaks to us. I am sorry to see that many who are preaching the Word of God have not themselves been refreshed by drinking of the pure water of life. Jesus is not in them a well of water springing up into everlasting life. They are losing much that they might have, and are failing to answer the prayer of Christ, because they do not sit at the feet of Jesus and learn of Him. {19MR 298.1}[43]
§89
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月28日。昨晚我获得了一些休息，为此我感谢我的天父。我默想基督在此尘世的生活和使命，就得到了鼓舞和福气。祂在祂所造的世界，许多人却没有认出祂来，也没有尊荣祂。祂说：“狐狸有洞，天空的飞鸟有窝，人子却没有枕头的地方”（太8:20）。祂来向人指明通向永远安息之所的道路。{19MR 298.2}[44]
§90
Preston, Melbourne, July 28, 1892. Last night I obtained some rest, for which I thank my heavenly Father. I am cheered and blessed as I contemplate the life and mission of Christ on this earth. He was in a world which He had created, but He was unrecognized and unhonored by the many. Foxes have holes, He said, and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of man hath not where to lay His head [Matthew 8:20]. He came to show man the way to the haven of eternal rest. {19MR 298.2}[44]
§91
罪人可以变成上帝的孩子、天国的后嗣，从尘埃中起来，穿上光明的衣袍。他既通过仰望耶稣而改变，就变得与上帝的性情有分。他每前进一步，就在基督身上看到新的荣美，在品格上更加像祂。“我们众人既然敞着脸，得以看见主的荣光，好像从镜子里反照，就变成主的形状，荣上加荣，如同从主的灵变成的”（林后3:18）。阿们，阿们。{19MR 298.3}[45]
§92
The sinner may become a child of God, an heir of heaven. He may rise from the dust, and stand forth arrayed in garments of light. Transformed by beholding Jesus, he becomes a partaker of the divine nature. At every step of advance, he sees new beauties in Christ, and becomes more like Him in character. We all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord (2 Corinthians 3:18). Amen and amen. {19MR 298.3}[45]
§93
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月29日。我赞美主，因为在我的患难中，我仍能享有耶稣的光与爱。祂的临格对我来说是最重要的——是安慰、盼望和镇痛香膏。有时困惑的思想压满心头，但我不会怀有这些思想。耶稣会拿走我的烦恼，只要我把它们带给祂，求祂为我担当。拥有倚赖的信心不总是容易的事。我们必须凭信仰望耶稣为急难中随时的帮助。我们若想在属灵上得到更新，就必须深饮救恩之水。主是善良而满有怜悯的。祂是我的救主，我的喜乐和我喜乐的冠冕。我要尊祂的名为大。{19MR 299.1}[46]
§94
Preston, Melbourne, July 29, 1892. I praise the Lord that in my affliction I may have the light and love of Jesus. His presence is everything to me--comfort, hope, and soothing balm. Sometimes perplexing thoughts crowd upon mind, but I will not cherish these thoughts. Jesus will take my troubles if I bring them to Him and ask Him to carry them for me. It is not always easy to have trusting faith. We must behold Jesus by faith as an ever-present help in time of need. We must drink deep of the water of salvation if we would be spiritually refreshed. The Lord is good and merciful. He is my Saviour, my joy and my crown of rejoicing. I will magnify His name. {19MR 299.1}[46]
§95
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月30日。我今天早上因主的善良和怜悯而赞美祂。在夜间时分，祂向我彰显祂自己是满有温柔同情的。祂用祂的同情鼓励我要倚赖祂的爱。我知道祂将一切事都做得很好，我必须忍耐等候祂的救恩。耶和华本为善。我的心中和口中要赞美祂。{19MR 299.2}[47]
§96
Preston, Melbourne, July 30, 1892. I praise the Lord this morning for His goodness and mercy. In the night season He reveals Himself to me as full of tender compassion. He encourages me with His sympathy to trust in His love. I know that He does all things well, and that I must be patient and wait for His salvation. The Lord is good. His praise shall be in my heart and on my lips. {19MR 299.2}[47]
§97
墨尔本，普雷斯顿，1892年7月31日。又一个月快要过去了。这个月过得很快，尽管我遭受了这么多的痛苦。{19MR 299.3}[48]
§98
Preston, Melbourne, July 31, 1892. Another month has nearly gone. It has passed quickly, although I have suffered so very much pain. {19MR 299.3}[48]
§99
遮盖大地的属灵的黑暗是与上帝隔绝的结果。基督乃是世界的光与生命。（《文稿》1892年34号）怀爱伦著作托管委员会1988年7月7日全文发表于美国首都华盛顿。{19MR 299.4}[49]
§100
The spiritual darkness that covers the earth is the result of a separation from God. Christ is the light and life of the world.--Manuscript 34, 1892. Ellen G. White Estate Washington, D.C. July 7, 1988. Entire Ms. {19MR 299.4}[49]