第1347号 选择人生伴侣的指导方针..
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第1347号 选择人生伴侣的指导方针..
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MR No. 1347 - Guidelines for Choosing a Life Companion; How to Have a Happy Marriage
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（写于1886年怀爱伦在欧洲时的某个时候）
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你写给惠特尼弟兄的一些信他亲自读给我听了，我越发确信你并没有意识到你在上帝面前实际的感觉状态。你非常需要神圣的启迪。{18MR 303.1}[1]
§5
(Written sometime in 1886 while Ellen White was in Europe.)
§6
Some of your letters to Brother Whitney have been read to me by himself, and I am more than ever convinced that you are not aware of your real state of feeling before God. You are in great need of divine enlightenment. {18MR 303.1}[1]
§7
有人问：“少年人用什么洁净他的行为呢？是要遵行祢的话”（诗119:9）！在这个危险败坏的世代，青年必要遭遇许多试炼与引诱。他们需要一位可靠的顾问和无误的向导。这一切他们可以在圣经中找到。他们若不殷勤研究圣经，就会铸成大错，危害自己和他人今生和来世的幸福。{18MR 303.2}[2]
§8
The question is asked, Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to Thy word. In these days of peril and corruption the young are exposed to many trials and temptations. They need an infallible guide, an unerring counsellor. This they will find in the Word of God. Unless they are diligent students of that Word they will make grave mistakes, which will mar their own happiness and that of others, not only in the present but in the future life. {18MR 303.2}[2]
§9
许多人的性情卤莽、固执、任性。他们不留心上帝的道无误的劝告，没有与自我作战，去争取宝贵的胜利。骄傲和倔强使他们离开了本分和顺从的道路，在失望的旷野里徘徊。{18MR 303.3}[3]
§10
There is a disposition with many to be impetuous, headstrong, willful. They have not heeded the unerring counsel of the Word of God. They have not battled with self, and obtained precious victories. Their proud, unbending will has driven them from the path of duty and obedience to wander about in the wilderness of disappointment. {18MR 303.3}[3]
§11
我的弟兄，你正在驶入危险的港口。你需要一位领港人。你会不屑于接受这个极需要的帮助，自以为有能力驾驶自己的船吗？你不怕撞在暗礁之上，以致丧失信心吗？我认为现在是你人生最重要的时期。你若确实是我在异象中蒙指示看到的那个年轻人，你的照片就比你漂亮。你的容貌比照片中的人线条分明，然而在其它方面它正确地表现了被呈现在我面前的那个年轻人，他与别的青少年在一起，陶醉于求爱和婚姻，其主要负担是要偏行己路。{18MR 303.4}[4]
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My brother, you are sailing in a dangerous harbor. You need a Pilot. Will you scorn to accept the much-needed help, feeling that you are competent to guide your own vessel? Are you not afraid that it will strike some hidden rock, and that you will make shipwreck of faith? The present I regard as the most important period of your life. If you are indeed the young man that was shown me, your picture flatters you. Your features are sharper than the picture represents, but in other respects it correctly represents the young man presented before me who was, with other youth, infatuated with the subject of courtship and marriage, and whose principal burden was to have his own way. {18MR 303.4}[4]
§13
请回顾你以往的生活并根据上帝的道如实地考虑你的做法。你纠正以往的错误了吗？你对圣经所吩咐的你对父母的义务并没有严格的责任心。生你并在你的婴儿期关怀照顾你的母亲，你已忽视了。你没有尊重她的心愿，而是因实行你自己的愿望和计划而给她的心带来了痛苦和悲伤。你一直很不开心。你所自称信奉的真理圣化了你的心、软化和折服了你的魂了吗？我蒙指示看见我给他写信的那个年轻人为自己有一番严谨彻底的工作要做，之后他才会适合教导他人真理。{18MR 304.1}[5]
§14
Please look back over your past life and faithfully consider your course in the light of Gods Word. Have you made your past wrongs right? You have not cherished that strict conscientiousness in regard to your obligations to your parents that the Bible enjoins. The mother that gave you birth and cared for you in your infancy, you have treated with neglect. You have not regarded her wishes, but have brought pain and sadness to her heart by carrying out your own desires and plans. You have been far from happy. Has the truth you profess sanctified your heart, and softened and subdued your soul? I was shown that the young man of whom I write has a close work to do for himself before he will be fitted to teach the truth to others. {18MR 304.1}[5]
§15
圣经提出了完美的人品标准。上帝默示圣洁的人所写的这本圣书乃是人在一切生活境遇中的完美指南。它非常清晰地展示了老老少少的责任和义务。若以圣经为生活指南，它的教导就会引人向上。它会提高心智、改善品格，使人心有平安和喜乐。{18MR 304.2}[6]
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The Bible presents a perfect standard of human character. This sacred book, inspired by God and written by holy men, is a perfect guide for man under all circumstances of life. It lays out with great distinctness the duties and obligations of both old and young. If made the guide of life, its teachings will lead the soul upward. It will elevate the mind, improve the character, and give peace and joy to the heart. {18MR 304.2}[6]
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然而你，我的弟兄，却在许多方面作你自己的顾问和向导，将你的情况拿在自己手中。你既没有尊重和孝敬生你的母亲，你就没有尊重和重看有经验之人的判断。{18MR 304.3}[7]
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But you, my brother, have in many respects been your own counsellor and guide, and have taken your case in your own hands. As you have not respected and honored the mother who bore you, you have not respected and honored the judgment of men of experience. {18MR 304.3}[7]
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你需要更严谨透彻地研究圣经的教训。你必从其中看到你对父母和同道弟兄所应尽的义务。第五条诫命说：“当孝敬父母，使你的日子在耶和华你上帝所赐你的地上得以长久”（出20:12）。又说：“你们作儿女的要在主里听从父母，这是理所当然的”（弗6:1）。{18MR 304.4}[8]
§20
You need to study more closely the teachings of the Bible. You will find revealed in its pages your duty to your kindred and to your brethren in the faith. The fifth commandment reads, Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Again we read, Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. {18MR 304.4}[8]
§21
我们生活在末期的征兆之一，就是儿女违背父母，忘恩负义，心不圣洁。圣经中充满叫我们孝敬年迈父母的教训和劝勉，他们指导我们经历了婴儿期、童年和青少年时期直到成年期。圣经使我们铭记一个神圣的义务，就是要珍爱那些其幸福、平安和健康在很大程度上依赖我们的人。在这个问题上，圣经已有明确的指示，但其中的教训却被人大大忽略了。{18MR 305.1}[9]
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One of the signs that we are living in the last days is that children are disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy. The Word of God abounds in precepts and counsels enjoining respect for our aged parents who have guided us through infancy, childhood, and youth up to manhood and womanhood. It impresses upon us a sacred duty to love and cherish those who are in a great degree dependent upon us for happiness, peace, and health. The Bible gives no uncertain sound on this subject; nevertheless, its teachings have been greatly disregarded. {18MR 305.1}[9]
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我的弟兄，要是你曾有你本应该有的对圣经的高度尊重，你原会对你自己的亲属和对在教会关系中与你有关的那些人有完全不同的举动。我蒙指示看见一个很像你的人有许多功课要学，而最重要的一课就是学习认识他自己。你若与上帝的事业和工作有关，就应该有关于儿女对父母的责任与义务的正确思想，你自己应该不断地在基督的门下学习心里柔和谦卑。{18MR 305.2}[10]
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My brother, had you had that high regard for the Bible that you should have had, you would have acted altogether differently toward your own relatives and toward those with whom you are connected in church relationship. I was shown a man like yourself who had many lessons to learn, and the most important one was to learn to know himself. If you have anything to do with the cause and work of God, you should have correct ideas of the obligations and duties of children to their parents, and should yourself be constantly learning in the school of Christ to be meek and lowly of heart. {18MR 305.2}[10]
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你在一直苛求和批评他人时，一直没有对维勒米尔弟兄和姐妹尽高尚的基督徒本分。你私下做了许多对他们的女儿有控制性影响的事。她并不是你的财产，尽管你行事好像她是那样的。如果进行秘密通信和见面是你要给别人树立的榜样，主就在祂的工作中用不着你。你没有爱护你弟兄的权益，也没有表现上帝每一个儿女都要具有的那种灵魂的高贵和正直。{18MR 305.3}[11]
§26
While you have been exacting and critical with others, you have not been acting a noble, Christian part toward Brother and Sister Vuilleumier. You have done many things in secret which have had a controlling influence over their daughter. She was not your property, although you have acted as though she was. If having secret communications and meetings is the example you are to give to others, the Lord has no use for you in His work. You have not loved and guarded the interest of your brother, neither have you shown that nobility and integrity of soul that everyone who is a child of God will possess. {18MR 305.3}[11]
§27
今日许多的青年都确实如此。为了达到他们的目的，他们会偷偷行事，扮演不坦诚、不光明磊落、不符合圣经标准的角色。他们这样做就教育自己不忠于那些最爱他们、正努力作他们的忠诚监护人的人。他们在这种影响之下缔结的婚约是不符合上帝命令的。任何一个青年若引诱一个女子离开本分，使她对顺从和孝敬父母的上帝明确命令概念不清，他也就不会忠实于婚姻的义务了。忘恩负义是这时代最大的罪恶之一。{18MR 306.1}[12]
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This is true of many of the youth of today. In order to compass their ends, they will work in secrecy, acting a part that is not frank and open and according to the Bible standard. By this course they educate themselves to be untrue to those who love them most and who are trying to be faithful guardians over them. The marriages contracted under such influences are not according to the order of God. Any young man who would lead a daughter away from duty, who would confuse her ideas of Gods plain and positive commands to obey and honor her parents, is not one who would be true to the marriage obligations. Ingratitude is one of the greatest sins of the age. {18MR 306.1}[12]
§29
青年若以圣经为自己的向导，就不必误解本分和安全的道路。这部有福之书会教导他保持正直的品德，作诚实的人，不作欺哄人的事。“不可偷盗”是上帝用手指写在石版上的，但是多少人卑鄙地偷窃爱情却得到了有限之人的原谅啊！这种欺骗性的求爱和私下的交往一直继续下去，直到那毫无经验，不知道这些事的后果的女子把感情寄托在那个男子身上；而这男子所采取的行径，本身已表明他不值得她爱。{18MR 306.2}[13]
§30
The young man who makes the Bible his guide need not mistake the path of duty and safety. That blessed Book will teach him to preserve his integrity of character, to be truthful, and to practice no deception. Thou shalt not steal was written by the finger of God upon the tables of stone, yet how much underhanded stealing of affections is done and excused by finite beings! A deceptive courtship is maintained, private communications are kept up, until the affections of the daughter, who is inexperienced and knows not whereunto these things may grow, are fastened upon the one who shows by the very course he pursues that he is unworthy of her love. {18MR 306.2}[13]
§31
圣经谴责一切不诚实的行为，要求在凡事上都要行为正直。凡把圣经作为自己青年时期的向导和路上之光的人，必在凡事上顺从圣经的教训。他不会为了遂己意或达到自己的目的而干犯律法的一点一画，即使是付出一切牺牲也在所不惜。他如果相信圣经，就必知道他若偏离严格的正直，上帝的福气是不会临到他的。虽然他可能一时顺利，但终必自食其果。{18MR 306.3}[14]
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The Bible condemns every species of dishonesty and demands right-doing in all things. He who makes the Bible the guide of his youth, the light of his path, will obey its teachings in all things. He will not transgress one jot or tittle of the law in order to carry out his will or accomplish his object, even if he has to make any and every sacrifice in consequence. If he believes the Bible, he knows the blessing of God will not rest upon him if he departs from the strict path of rectitude. Although he appears for a time to prosper, he will surely reap the fruit of his doings. {18MR 306.3}[14]
§33
上帝的咒诅临到现今许多不适时、不合理的婚姻。如果圣经只是轻描淡写，含糊其词地论及这些问题，那么今日许多青年所采取的恋爱方式或许就情有可原了。但是圣经的要求并不是一半的命令。它要求思想、言语和行为的完全纯洁。我们感谢上帝，因为祂的话是脚前的灯，谁也无需误解本分的道路。青年应当以查考圣经，注意其中劝勉为己任，因为可悲的错误往往是因偏离圣经的教训而造成的。{18MR 307.1}[15]
§34
The curse of God rests upon many of the ill-timed, inappropriate connections that are made in this age of the world. If the Bible left these questions in a vague, uncertain light, then the course that many of the youth of today are pursuing in their attachments for one another would be more excusable. But the requirements of the Bible are not half-way injunctions. They demand perfect purity of thought, of word, and of deed. We are grateful to God that His Word is a light to the feet, and none need mistake the path of duty. The young should make it a business to consult its pages and to heed its counsels, for sad mistakes are always made when its precepts are departed from. {18MR 307.1}[15]
§35
婚姻的问题需要以冷静的理智和不动感情的判断来加以考虑。在采取结婚的步骤之前，要以圣经作为顾问。但是流行的观点却是在这件事上感情要作向导，在太多的情况下，害相思病的感伤主义掌了舵，把人生之舟带到注定败亡的地步。青年在这个问题上不肯讲理，比在其他问题上更少表现出智慧。婚姻问题对许多人似乎有一种销魂的能力。他们没有把自己交给上帝。他们的理性被束缚。他们秘密行事，唯恐有人来干涉他们的计划。{18MR 307.2}[16]
§36
If there is any subject that should be considered with calm reason and unimpassioned judgment, it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counsellor, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life. But the prevailing sentiment is that in this matter the feelings are to be the guide, and in too many cases lovesick sentimentalism has taken the helm and guided the bark to certain ruin. It is here that the youth refuse to be reasoned with. It is here that they show less intelligence than on any other subject. The question of marriage seems to have a bewitching power over many. They do not submit themselves to God. Their senses are enchained and they move forward in secretiveness, as if fearful that their plans would be interfered with by someone. {18MR 307.2}[16]
§37
在恋爱和婚姻上不采取光明正大的方式，乃是许多不幸的原因，其不幸的程度只有上帝才了解。千万人的心灵就是触礁在这块礁石上。一些自命为基督徒的人，品行虽然端方，在其他问题上似乎也很聪明，但在婚事上却铸成大错，表显出不可理喻的固执和倔强的意志。他们如此陶醉于人的感情和冲动，以致不愿意查考圣经，与上帝保持密切的联系。{18MR 307.3}[17]
§38
It is this underhanded way that courtships and marriages are carried on that causes a great amount of misery, the full extent of which is known only to God. On this rock thousands have made shipwreck of their souls. Professed Christians, whose lives are marked with integrity and who seem sensible upon every other subject, make fearful mistakes here. They manifest a set, determined will that reason cannot change. They become so fascinated with human feelings and impulses that they have no desire to search the Bible and to come in close relationship with God. {18MR 307.3}[17]
§39
撒但十分熟悉他所诱惑的对象。他千方百计地用他邪恶的智慧引诱人灭亡。他关注着人在这些事上所采取的每一个步骤，并提供许多建议。人们往往采纳这些建议，而不接受上帝圣言的劝导。结果我们到处看到有人沉沦。我们的青年什么时候才会懂事呢？圣经若是得到细致的研究和顺从，就会证明是抵挡撒但骗人网罗的安全保障。{18MR 308.1}[18]
§40
Satan knows just what elements he has to deal with, and he displays his infernal wisdom in various devices to entrap souls to their ruin. He watches every step that is taken in these matters, and he has many suggestions to make; and these suggestions are more often followed than the counsels of Gods Word. As the result, we see wrecks of humanity everywhere. When will our youth be wise? The Bible, if carefully studied and obeyed, would prove a safeguard against the delusive snares of Satan. {18MR 308.1}[18]
§41
我的弟兄，关于儿女对父母的义务，你若有高尚正确的观点，原不会违背女子敬畏上帝之父母的心愿，执意向她献殷勤。你原会看到你敦促她漠视她父母的忠告而与你共命运是在影响她违背第五条诫命。当她根据圣经看这个问题时，她感到被禁止使她的父母蒙羞和给他们的心带来忧伤；然而当你迫切提出你的主张，以反常的状态将问题摆在她面前时，她就不安了，觉得要是不嫁给你就会悲惨可怜。{18MR 308.2}[19]
§42
My brother, had you had elevated and correct views in regard to the obligations of children to their parents, you would not have pressed your attentions upon the daughter against the known wishes of her God-fearing parents. You would have seen that by urging her to disregard their counsels and to link her destinies with yours, you were influencing her to break the fifth commandment. When she looks at this matter in the light of the Bible, she feels forbidden to dishonor her parents and bring sorrow to their hearts; but when you urge your claims and set matters before her in a perverted light, she is unsettled and feels that she will be miserable if she does not marry you. {18MR 308.2}[19]
§43
基督徒的立场会始终在这个问题上考虑上帝的荣耀。他们不会固执地极力主张自己的观点，显出骄傲和任性。真理和公义的灵在心里不会导致直接违反敬畏上帝的父母心愿的做法。即使你们确实两情相悦，你们二人也应该说：“我们不会为了取悦自己而给我们的父母带来苦恼。我们决不会冒险在这个方向上迈出另一步，除非这些障碍消除了，我们有父母自由的认可。”这就是所有这种约会都应该尊重的方式。{18MR 308.3}[20]
§44
The position of Christians will be to keep Gods glory in view in this matter. They will not urge their views with a persistency that shows pride and self-will. The spirit of truth and righteousness in the heart will not lead to a course directly contrary to the wishes of God-fearing parents. You should both say, even if your affections do go out to each other, We will not bring unhappiness upon our parents in order to please ourselves. We will never venture another step in this direction, unless these barriers are removed and we have the free consent of our parents. This is the way all such engagements should be regarded. {18MR 308.3}[20]
§45
我在维勒米尔弟兄写给你的信中看不到任何不仁慈或不合理的事。仇敌使你对这事有了不正当的看法。我在他的信中只看到一位父亲在关系到他女儿的幸福和权益时应该写的话。你既然已经使这事叫相当多的人知道了，你对维勒米尔弟兄的情绪又不是本应该有的样子，又因教会中一些人不明智地给予了你同情和支持，这事就变得相当严重了，需要细心考虑。{18MR 309.1}[21]
§46
I cannot see anything unkind or unreasonable in the letter of Brother Vuilleumier to you. The enemy has perverted this matter to your mind. I see in his letter only that which is consistent for a father to write when the interest and happiness of his daughter are concerned. As you have been instrumental in making this matter known to quite a number, and as your feelings toward Brother Vuilleumier have not been as they should have been, and as some in the church have unwisely given you their sympathy and support, this matter has become quite serious, and demands careful consideration. {18MR 309.1}[21]
§47
难道这种事要继续下去吗？小孩子们只考虑自己的愿望和爱好，不顾父母的忠告和判断吗？有些人似乎从不考虑父母的心愿或或偏好，也不尊重他们成熟的经验。自私关闭了他们孝敬的心门。这并不是维勒米尔弟兄的女儿的情况，但另一个人的意念影响着她，她在受另一个意志的塑造，决不会改善她的品格或使她有宝贵的经验。{18MR 309.2}[22]
§48
Shall this kind of work go on? Small children consult only their own desires and inclinations irrespective of their parents advice and judgment? Some seem never to bestow a thought upon their parents wishes or preferences, nor to regard their matured experience. Selfishness has closed the door of their hearts to filial affection. This is not the case with the daughter of Brother Vuilleumier, but another mind is influencing her, and she is being molded to anothers will, not in any way to improve her character or to give her a valuable experience. {18MR 309.2}[22]
§49
关于恋爱与婚姻的问题需要有一番觉醒。第五诫是唯一一条带应许的诫命，却遭到了轻视，甚至因恋人的要求而完全被置之不理。许多青年记录在案的罪，就是轻视母亲的爱和不尊重父亲的关怀。父母肩负重大的责任，要谨慎地维护儿女将来的幸福和权益，还有责任要尽可能使家庭成为最有吸引力的地方。这比获致地产和钱财重要得多。家庭不可缺少阳光。要使家的感觉常存在儿女心中，以致他们会觉得家是一个仅次于天国的平安幸福的地方。他们成人以后，就会努力安慰和造福他们的父母。他们不应该太喜欢离开父母的家，在他们最需要在家的时候将感情和服务都献给一个外人。{18MR 309.3}[23]
§50
There needs to be an awakening in regard to the matter of courtship and marriage. The fifth commandment is held lightly and even positively ignored by the lovers claim. This commandment is the only one to which is annexed a promise. To slight a mothers love, to dishonor a fathers care, is a sin which stands registered against many youth. While there are weighty responsibilities devolving upon the parents to guard carefully the future happiness and interest of their children, it is also their duty to make home as attractive as possible. This is of far greater consequence than to acquire estates and money. Home must not lack sunshine. The home feeling should be kept alive in the hearts of the children, that home will be looked upon by them as a place of peace and happiness next to heaven. Then as they come to maturity they should in their turn try to be a comfort and blessing to their parents. They should not be too ready to leave their parental roof and give their affections and services to a stranger at the very time when they are most needed at home. {18MR 309.3}[23]
§51
父母有权得到儿女的爱，如果儿女愿意在言语和行为上表现更多喜爱，就会对双方是一大福气。每一个亲切关怀都为父母所赏识。在缔结婚约之前，每一个年轻人都应该仔细查看他或她不在家会怎样影响父母的幸福。他们在年老体衰中需要惟独你才能给予的帮助吗？要仔细想想谁对你有最强烈的要求。要殷勤研究向你求爱的那个人的品格。你即将采取的步骤是一生中最重要的一步，决不可操之过急。你可以恋爱，但不要盲目恋爱。{18MR 310.1}[24]
§52
Parents are entitled to the love of their children, and if the children would manifest more affection in words and acts, it would be a blessing to both. Every kind attention is appreciated by parents. Before a marriage contract is made, every young person should look carefully to see how his or her absence from the home would affect the happiness of the parents. Do they in their feebleness need the help that you alone can give them? Think carefully in regard to who has the strongest claims upon you. Study diligently the character of the one who asks your love. The step you are about to take is one of the most important in your life. It should not be taken hastily. While youth may love, let them not love blindly. {18MR 310.1}[24]
§53
现代的恋爱方式，是一个欺骗与伪善的阴谋。它对人心有一种销魂的影响。我蒙指示看见要是许多年轻人的目的现实了，他们原会失望、疏远、分离。做媒的事与众生之敌有关，与主无关，他们是主的财产。许多年轻人似乎以为结婚必能获得完美的幸福；但是他们若能看到我所收到的那些不能也不敢挣脱婚姻捆锁之男男女女令人心痛的来信的四分之一，就不会对我写的话感到惊讶了。{18MR 310.2}[25]
§54
Courtship as carried on in this age is a scheme of deception and hypocrisy. It has a bewitching influence upon the minds. I have been shown that had the purposes of many young persons been carried out, there would have been disappointments, estrangements, separation. The enemy of souls has far more to do with match-making than has the Lord, whose property they are. Many youth seem to think that marriage is the attainment of perfect bliss; but if these could see one quarter of the heart-aching letters that I have received from men and women who are bound by the marriage vow in chains that they cannot and dare not break, they would not be surprised that I trace these lines. {18MR 310.2}[25]
§55
婚姻对于成千上万的人来说，乃是最苦不堪言的重轭。千万不相配的人结了婚。天上的案卷记满了在婚姻的外衣下所掩盖的祸患、罪孽和弊端。所以我警告正值婚龄的青年要从容选择终身的伴侣，不要操之过急。婚姻生活的道路似乎显得美妙而充满幸福；其实你何尝不会像千万人那样的失望呢？{18MR 311.1}[26]
§56
Marriage to thousands is the most galling yoke that can be worn. There are thousands that are mated but not matched. The books of heaven are burdened with the woes, the wickedness, and the abuse that are hid under the marriage mantle. This is why I warn the young who are of a marriageable age to make haste slowly in the choice of a companion. The path of marriage life may appear beautiful and full of happiness, but you may be disappointed, as thousands of others have been. {18MR 311.1}[26]
§57
与这个问题有关的最大错误之一，就是认为切不可干扰年轻无经验之人的感情，切不可干涉他们的爱情经历。其实这个问题最需要处处留意。双方都借鉴他人的经验和冷静仔细的权衡是绝对必要的。可是大多数人对这个问题却过于疏忽了。青年朋友们，你们要以上帝为顾问，要为这件事情祷告。你要权衡将作你终身伴侣之人的各样情操和其性格的每一发展。要慎重考虑一下你婚后的生活将会是幸福的呢，还是不和谐和糟糕的呢？要想到以下的问题：这样的结合能帮助我行走天路吗？会不会增进我对上帝的爱呢？会不会扩大我今生的用途呢？{18MR 311.2}[27]
§58
One of the greatest errors connected with this subject is that idea that the young and inexperienced must not have their affections disturbed, that there must be no interference in this love experience. If there ever was a subject that needed to be viewed from every standpoint, it is this subject. The aid of the experience of others, and a calm, careful weighing of the matter on both sides, is positively essential. It is a subject that is treated altogether too lightly by the great majority of people. Take God into your counsel, young friends. Pray over the matter. Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to link your life interest. Examine carefully to see if your married life will be happy, or inharmonious and wretched. Let the questions be raised, Will this union help me heavenward? Will it increase my love for God? And will it enlarge my sphere for usefulness in this life? {18MR 311.2}[27]
§59
这些考虑都没有什么问题了，你再本着敬畏上帝的心前进。但是如果你在还没有充分了解你要与之共命运的婚姻对象的品格之前就已订婚了，也不要以为你就非得履行婚约、与你所不敬不爱的人结合不可。订立无条件的婚约固然应该十分谨慎，但是与其像许多人那样在婚后分离，远不如在婚前解除婚约。{18MR 311.3}[28]
§60
If these reflections present no drawbacks, then in the fear of God move forward. But even if an engagement has been entered into without a full understanding of the character of the one with whom you think to link your destiny, do not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity for you to pronounce the marriage vow, and link yourself for life to one whom you cannot love or respect. Be very careful how you enter into unconditional engagements, but better, far better, break the engagement before marriage than separate after marriage, as many do. {18MR 311.3}[28]
§61
很少人有正确的婚姻观。他们轻视上天指定的制度，草率结婚之后，既没有真正意识到婚姻的神圣性，便往往可耻地漠视了婚姻所要求的义务。丈夫既忽视女人的个人权利，就变得不仁慈而且专断。妻子的个性被泯灭在丈夫的个性里。她成了他反复无常和情欲的奴隶，好像她什么都不要做，只要顺从他的心血来潮。他引用经文说明他是头，必须在凡事上顺从他，要求他的妻子必须没有与他分开的意愿。他行事如暴君。然而同一本圣经既规定了妻子的义务也规定了丈夫的义务。他应当仁慈而充满爱，要爱他的妻子如自己的一部分，要珍爱她如同基督爱教会。{18MR 312.1}[29]
§62
Few have correct views of marriage. They make light of this Heaven-appointed institution, and after it has been entered into thoughtlessly, without a true sense of its sacredness, the obligations it imposes are often shamefully disregarded. Ignoring the personal rights of women, the husband becomes unkind and authoritative. The individuality of the wife is submerged in that of the husband. She becomes the slave of his caprice and passions, as though she had naught to do but to obey his whims. He quotes texts of scripture to show that he is the head, and that he must be obeyed in all things, claiming that his wife must have no will separate from his. He acts the tyrant. But the same Bible that prescribes the duty of the wife prescribes also the duty of the husband. He is to be kind and affectionate, to love his wife as a part of himself, and to cherish her as Christ does His church. {18MR 312.1}[29]
§63
这个婚姻问题是双方都应该研究的，而不是一件冲动的事。顺从后六条诫命要求这样。各种罪行都可溯到不明智的婚姻。那么无知而没有经验的儿女岂可盲目结婚呢？父母岂不该觉得自己有责任保护自己女儿的权益吗？因为他们自己成熟的经验教导他们，要是她嫁给那个向她求爱的人，只会导致终身不幸。{18MR 312.2}[30]
§64
This question of marriage should be a study of both parties instead of a matter of impulse. Obedience to the last six commandments requires this. Crimes of every kind may be traced to unwise marriages. Then should they be entered into blindly, by ignorant and inexperienced children? Should not the parents feel their responsibility to guard the interest of their daughter when their own mature experience teaches them that should she marry the one who solicits her affections it would only result in lifelong unhappiness? {18MR 312.2}[30]
§65
真正的爱是一株需要培养的树木。凡希望获得平安快乐的婚姻，避免将来不幸和悲伤的女子，应在献出自己的爱情之前，了解对方的母亲是否健在？她的品性如何？他是否认识到孝敬母亲的责任？能否关心她的愿望和幸福？如果他不孝敬自己的母亲，又如何能向她的妻子表现尊重、爱心、仁慈和关怀呢？新婚的兴奋过去之后，他还会依然爱我吗？他能宽容我的过失，还是会吹毛求疵，蛮横无理地对待我呢？真正的爱情能忽视许多过失，因为爱是不计较过错的。{18MR 312.3}[31]
§66
True love is a plant that needs culture. Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who would escape future misery and sorrow, inquire before she yields her affections, Has my lover a mother? What is the stamp of her character? Does he recognize his filial obligations to her? Is he mindful of her wishes and happiness? If he does not respect and honor his parents, he will not manifest respect and love and kindness and attention towards his wife. When the novelty of marriage is over, will he love me still? Will he be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and dictatorial? True affection will overlook many mistakes; love will not discern them. {18MR 312.3}[31]
§67
青年太相信感情的冲动了。他们不应轻易决定自己的终生大事，也不应太容易被恋人动人的外表所迷惑。在这个问题上，非常需要常识，但现今人们在恋爱和婚姻上却很少出于理性。你如果不希望婚后有悲惨不幸的回忆，就必须在婚前严肃慎重地进行考虑。这一步若是不明智地行事，就会成为破坏男男女女前途最有效的途径之一。于是人生成了重担和咒诅。{18MR 313.1}[32]
§68
The youth trust altogether too much to impulse. They should not give themselves away too easily, and be captivated too readily by the winning exterior of the lover. Good common sense is needed here if anywhere; but the facts in the case are [that] it has little to do with courtship and marriage nowadays. There is serious, earnest reflection to be done before marriage, if you would not have the most miserable, unhappy reflections after marriage. This step, taken unwisely, is one of the most effective means of ruining the usefulness of men and women. Life becomes a burden, a curse. {18MR 313.1}[32]
§69
没有什么人比丈夫更能有效地破坏女人的幸福和效用。上天记下了对妻子实行欺压的男人们的言语和行为。也没有什么人比妻子更能打消男人的希望和抱负，麻痹他的精力，破坏他的感化力和前途，使人生变成苦恼重担，连百分之一也比不上。从结婚的时候起，许多人就注定了他们的成败。{18MR 313.2}[33]
§70
No one can so effectually ruin a womans happiness and usefulness as her own husband. Heaven has registered the words and actions of men who have tyrannized over their wives. And no one can do one hundredth part as much to chill the hopes and aspirations of a man, no one can paralyze his energies and make life a heart-sickening burden as [can] his own wife; and she may ruin his influence and his prospects. From the marriage hour many men can date their success or their failure. {18MR 313.2}[33]
§71
婚姻既然导致了那么多的不幸，为什么青年不聪明一点呢？为什么他们依然认为不需要年长而更富有经验之人的指导呢？在事业方面，无论男女都表现得十分慎重。在从事任何重要的事业之前，他们都要进行准备，为此而付出时间、金钱，多多进行周密的考虑，惟恐他们的事业失败。鉴于婚姻的关系影响到后代与来生，在建立这种关系的时候，岂不应该更加慎重吗？但事实上人们往往草率而轻薄，凭着冲动和情欲，未经冷静的思考就盲目成婚。{18MR 313.3}[34]
§72
When so much misery results from marriage, why will not the youth be wise? Why will they continue to feel that they do not need the counsel of older and more experienced persons? In business, men and women manifest great caution. Before engaging in any important enterprise they prepare themselves for their work. They devote time and money and much careful study to the subject, lest they shall make a failure. How much greater caution should be exercised in entering the marriage relation, a relation which affects future generations and future life? But this holy relation is entered upon with jest and levity, with impulse and passion, with blindness and want of calm consideration. {18MR 313.3}[34]
§73
这种现象的唯一解释，是因为撒但乐于见到世上充满痛苦和败坏，故设下这样的网罗以陷害生灵。他喜欢让这班考虑不周的人丧失了今生的快乐和来世的家园。一个完全忽视女人的需要和她应得待遇的男人往往让她处在他所提议的保护之下，其时他的影响和性情对她来说就像使人感到凄凉的冰雹，打倒她的愿意和她的志向，使她没有意见或判断的自由。她是他的奴隶，只是照他的决定行事。女人希望男人有坚强和高尚的品格，能博得她们的尊敬和爱。这些品格需要与温柔与爱情、忍耐与宽容结合起来。{18MR 314.1}[35]
§74
The only explanation of this is that Satan weaves this net to entangle souls. He loves to see misery and ruin in the world. He rejoices to have these inconsiderate souls lose their enjoyment of this world and of the one to come. Often a man who is entirely ignorant of the wants of woman, and of the treatment she should receive, takes her under his proposed protection when his influence and his temperament are to her as a desolating hail, beating down her will and her aspirations, and leaving her no freedom of mind or judgment. She is his slave to do just as he may decide. While women want men of strong and noble characters whom they can respect and love, these qualities need to be mingled with tenderness and affection and patience and forbearance. {18MR 314.1}[35]
§75
妻子则应是愉快、仁慈、忠诚、挚爱的，尽量地使自己的品味与丈夫的品味同化而不将她的身份、她的个性丧失在她的丈夫里面。双方都当培养忍耐和仁慈；彼此间亲切温柔的爱，会使得婚姻生活愉快而幸福。那些对婚姻生活有不切实际的想法，其想象力所造出的空中楼阁与生活的困惑混乱和各种烦恼相去甚远的人，会悲哀地发现自己对现实无比失望。当实际生活的种种烦恼和挂虑来临时，他们完全没有准备好应付。他们希望对方是完美的，却发现了软弱和缺陷，因为有限的男男女女都不是没有过失的。于是他们就开始彼此批评，说出自己的失望。我们都需要实际的敬虔来帮助我们勇敢地征战人生。我们每天的祈祷应当是：主啊，帮助我们彼此帮助，承受彼此的苦恼。{18MR 314.2}[36]
§76
The wife should in her turn be cheerful, kind, and devoted, assimilating her taste to that of her husband as far as it is possible to do without losing her identity, her individuality, in her husband. Both parties should cultivate patience and kindness and that tender love for each other that will make their married life pleasant and enjoyable. Those who have such high ideas of the marriage life, whose imagination has wrought out an air-castle picture that has naught to do with lifes perplexities and troubles, will find themselves sadly disappointed in the reality. When real life comes with its troubles and cares they are wholly unprepared to meet them. They expect in each other perfection, and find weakness and defects, for finite men and women are not faultless. Then, in the place of helping each other, they begin to find fault and express their disappointment. We all need practical godliness to help us to fight the battle of life valiantly. Our daily prayer should be, Help us to help each other, Lord, each others woes to bear. {18MR 314.2}[36]
§77
我倾心挂念你，我的弟兄，因为上帝赐给了你才干要予以善用；但你需要克服你品格上的缺陷才能成功地使用你的能力。你还没有看到和明白你品格上的矛盾之处对你的有用性大大不利，你若不对付迄今在或大或小的程度上控制了你的这些倾向，它们就必定会挡在你获得来生的路上。你和许多人的心智必须有正确的训练。这是通向真正的幸福、信心和信任上帝之路。{18MR 315.1}[37]
§78
My heart is drawn out for you, my brother, because God has given you talents to be improved; but you will need to overcome the defects in your character in order to use your ability with success. You have not seen and understood that the inconsistencies in your character were great drawbacks to your usefulness, and that unless you war against these tendencies, which have thus far controlled you to a greater or less degree, they will surely stand in the way of your attaining the future life. There must be with you and with many others the right discipline of the mind. This is the way to true happiness, faith, and confidence in God. {18MR 315.1}[37]
§79
那些没有掌管自己以控制冲动、征服自我并使自己顺从上帝律法原则的人，不会也不能幸福或处于平安和安息的状态。他们需要基督的柔和谦卑。他们需要天天在祂门下学习，负祂的轭，挑祂的担子，克制爱好，将现在表面上的好处牺牲给将来的好处，为整体利益牺牲个人利益。{18MR 315.2}[38]
§80
Those who have not taken themselves in hand to control impulse, to subdue self and bring themselves in obedience to the principles of the law of God, will not, can not, be happy or at peace and rest. They need the meekness and lowliness of Christ. They need to learn daily in His school, to wear His yoke, to lift His burdens, to deny inclination, to sacrifice a seeming present good to a future good, a personal advantage for a general advantage. {18MR 315.2}[38]
§81
心灵中必须涌现满足之泉。藉着改变外部环境来追求幸福而不改变自己性情的人，必发现自己的努力只会产生新的失望。他带着自己。他的不安、他的不耐烦、他无法控制的思想和冲动，随时都在。最大的麻烦是在他自己里面。他还从未学了过基督心里柔和谦卑的功课。他还从未跌在磐石上并且跌碎。自我一直得到珍爱。他的意志从未得到训练以致顺服。他还从未使倔强的精神顺从上帝的旨意。{18MR 315.3}[39]
§82
The fountain of content must spring up in the soul. He who seeks happiness by changing his outward surroundings without changing his own disposition, will find that his efforts will only produce fresh disappointments. He carries himself with him. His unrest, his impatience, his uncontrollable thoughts and impulses, are ever present. The great trouble is in himself. He has never learned of Christ the lesson of meekness and lowliness of heart. He has never fallen upon the Rock and been broken. Self has been cherished. The will has never been trained to submit. The unyielding spirit has never been brought into subjection to the will of God. {18MR 315.3}[39]
§83
有许多青年因为无法在自己设法的计划里找到幸福，就不愿以上帝指定的方式接受福乐。他们对自己的不快乐感到惊讶，并把他们最好的朋友——那些看出他们的困难的人——认作敌人。他们顽固地坚持自己的印象和他们必须有什么及必须做什么才能快乐的想法；但他们却看不到惟独主在统治的事实，是祂在形成环境。{18MR 316.1}[40]
§84
There are many youth who, because they cannot find happiness in plans of their own devising, will not accept it in Gods appointed way. They wonder over their unhappiness, and count their best friends--those who discern their difficulties--their enemies. They cling with tenacious grasp to their impressions and their ideas of just what they must have and what they must do in order to be happy, but they lose sight of the fact that the Lord rules alone, and that He is shaping circumstances. {18MR 316.1}[40]
§85
上帝说：“我的意念非同你们的意念；我的道路非同你们的道路。天怎样高过地，照样，我的道路高过你们的道路；我的意念高过你们的意念”（赛55:8,9）。那么就让有限的人在自己的欲望上谦卑顺服吧，认识到上帝使用的许多影响是他们的能力所不能控制的。我们必须掌管自我；我们必须忠心地尽我们的本分；在这种工作中平安、安息和福乐会来到。我们必须训练自我，设法使它在聪明理性的控制之下。我们必须真正地意识到后六条诫命是什么意思。我们天天都有机会实行忘我，成为我们周围之人的福气。{18MR 316.2}[41]
§86
God says, My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways. . . . For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. Then let finite beings be humble and submissive in their desires, realizing that God uses many influences which it is beyond their power to control. We must take self in hand; we must do our duty faithfully; and in this work peace and rest and happiness will come. We must discipline self, seeking to bring it under the control of intelligent reason. We must have a true sense of what the last six commandments mean. There are opportunities daily of practicing forgetfulness of self, and being a blessing to those around us. {18MR 316.2}[41]
§87
我们若是学习负耶稣的轭并挑祂的担子，就必得着祂所应许的平安和安息。大教师说：“我心里柔和谦卑，你们当负我的轭，学我的样式；这样，你们心里就必得享安息。因为我的轭是容易的，我的担子是轻省的”（太11:29,30）。{18MR 316.3}[42]
§88
We will surely find the peace and rest that Jesus has promised, if we learn to wear His yoke and bear His burdens. Learn of Me, says the great Teacher, for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light. {18MR 316.3}[42]
§89
现在是我们的宽容时期；现在是你的宽容时期。时间宝贵。你有极乐的来生要获得，有灭亡要逃避。不要藉着设法实现你自己的愿望来消磨掉上帝所赐的机会。要为主尽本分和作工。你有功课要学，是你做梦都没有想到过的。天上的案卷现在显明许多事你都能从它的页面涂抹，只要你以真悔改的心和对作为赎罪牺牲的基督之血的信心来到上帝面前。曾向肉体活着的生命现在必须因信而活在上帝的儿子里面。{18MR 316.4}[43]
§90
Now is our probation; now is your probation. Time is valuable. You have an eternity of bliss to gain, a perdition to shun. Do not fritter away your God-given opportunities by trying to accomplish your own desires. Up to duty and to work for the Master. You have lessons to learn that you have not yet dreamed of. The books of heaven now reveal many things that you can have blotted from its pages by coming to God with a truly repentant heart and faith in the blood of Christ as the atoning sacrifice. The life that was once lived to the flesh must now be lived by faith in the Son of God. {18MR 316.4}[43]
§91
现在问题是，你目前在接受什么教育呢？你在宗教生活中在取得什么进步呢？众人的教育现在正在进行着。一些人在教育自己得高位，好受到人们的赞美和尊荣。一些人在恶习和欺骗的学校中受训，接受一种会使他们不适合今生和不朽来生的教育。一些人在基督的学校中教育自己，追求良善和真理，旨在符合上帝公义之伟大的道德标准，适合上头的高等学校。{18MR 317.1}[44]
§92
The question now is, What education are you receiving at the present time? What advancement are you making in the divine life? The education of all is now going on. Some are educating themselves for lofty positions where they may receive the praise and honor of men. Some are training in the school of vice and deception, receiving an education that will unfit them for this life and the future immortal life. Some are educating themselves in Christs school, seeking goodness and truth, aiming to meet Gods great moral standard of righteousness, and fitting for the high school above. {18MR 317.1}[44]
§93
在天上的案卷中保留着我们所受教育方式和我们怎样利用宽容时期的珍贵时间的准确记录。每一天我们都在为今生和来生学习功课。所怀有的每一个想法，所放纵的每一个冲动，都在心中留下印象。我们向上帝有义务不断地学习基督如何引导和控制我们的思想、我们的感情和情欲。我们在对自己的本分上多么可怕地松懈呀，竟让自己被我们自己的想法和自己有错误的意愿所塑造。我们允许自己这样被环境控制，是在冒大风险。{18MR 317.2}[45]
§94
In the books of heaven are kept an accurate record of the manner of our education and what use we have made of our probationary golden moments. Every day we are learning lessons for time and eternity. Every thought cherished, every impulse indulged, leaves its impressions on the mind. We are under obligation to God to be constantly learning of Christ how to guide and control our thoughts, our feelings and passions. Oh, how fearfully lax we are in our duty to ourselves to let ourselves be molded by our own ideas and our own faulty will. We are running great risks in allowing ourselves to be thus controlled by circumstances. {18MR 317.2}[45]
§95
我们必须学习模范耶稣基督。自修和上帝的恩典会在道德力上加强我们。每一能力都应得到使用，好使我们都成为基督已做好准备要我们成为的样子。多少人在因缺乏内心的修养而在失去心理平衡啊。一切的良善都开始于心。上帝已委托给你才能。若是将它们全然奉献给祂的服务，你就可以用所委托给你的这些才干为主做一番善工。但你必须先克服固执和自负。必须培养仁慈和喜爱。这会对品格有一种改变的影响。{18MR 317.3}[46]
§96
We must study the Pattern, Jesus Christ. Self-culture and divine grace will strengthen us in moral power. Every faculty should be employed to make of us all that Christ has made provision that we should become. How many are losing the balance of their mind for want of heart culture. All goodness commences in the heart. God has entrusted you with abilities. With these entrusted talents you may do a good work for the Master, if they are consecrated wholly to His service. But there must first be an overcoming of obstinacy and self-sufficiency. There must be a cultivation of kindness and affection. This will have a transforming influence on the character. {18MR 317.3}[46]
§97
批评和挑剔的精神总是找机会责备和谴责别人，表明一种狭隘的心思，清楚显明一个人从未仔细研究和正确读懂他自己内心的篇章。上帝对我们是认真的。我们应当与耶稣基督进入亲密的关系，就如枝子被嫁接到活葡萄树上所描绘的。然后我们才会从葡萄树汲取树液和营养，才会结出果子来荣耀上帝。{18MR 318.1}[47]
§98
The critical and censorious spirit that is ever ready to find occasion for reproof and condemnation in others, shows a narrow mind, and plainly reveals a man who has never carefully studied and correctly read the pages of his own heart. God is in earnest with us. We should come in such close connection with Jesus Christ as is represented by the branch that is grafted into the living vine. Then we shall be partakers of the sap and nourishment from the vine, and shall bear fruit to the glory of God. {18MR 318.1}[47]
§99
你现在正在经历关键时期。我劝你不要匆忙，不要灰心，而要把你的事交给上帝。服侍主并遵行祂的旨意，在这个考验的时辰，祂必为你行事，你必获得一种宝贵的经验。要给上帝一个作工的机会。要俯伏在十字架脚前，上帝就必教导你宝贵的功课。{18MR 318.2}[48]
§100
You are now passing through a critical experience. I entreat of you not to be hasty, not to be discouraged, but to submit your case to God. Wait upon the Lord and do His will, and in this hour of trial He will work for you and you will obtain a precious experience. Give God a chance to work. Lay low at the foot of the cross, and God will teach you precious lessons. {18MR 318.2}[48]
§101
必须在家中实行舍己。家中的每一个成员都应该仁慈有礼，应该注意在一切的言语和行为上带来平安、满足和快乐。并非所有的家庭成员都有一样的性情，一样的品格印记，然而藉着自律，一个人可以帮助另一个人，使他们更亲近，用仁爱宽容的话语使他们紧密结合在一起。{18MR 318.3}[49]
§102
Self-denial must be practiced in the home. Every member of the family should be kind and courteous, and should studiously seek in all their words and actions to bring peace, contentment, and happiness. Not all members of the family have the same disposition, the same stamp of character, but through self-discipline one can help another, bringing them near, binding them together by words of love and forbearance. {18MR 318.3}[49]
§103
然而，我的弟兄，在你家中却没有培养谦恭殷勤、基督徒的礼貌和彼此的顺从与尊重，这些美德会预备家庭成员成婚并使他们自己的家庭幸福。本应该在温柔同情和在忍耐、仁慈与尊重家庭成员方面学习的功课还没有学。没有温柔、礼貌和爱，反而有尖刻的话语、冲撞的想法、好斗的情绪、批评与独裁的精神。非常缺乏基督的精神。{18MR 318.4}[50]
§104
But, my brother, in your family there has not been that cultivation of courtesy, Christian politeness, and deference and respect for one another that would prepare its members to marry and make happy families of their own. The lessons that should have been learned in tender sympathy and in patience, kindness, and respect for the members of the family, have not been learned. In the place of tenderness, courtesy, and love there have been sharp words, clashing of ideas, the combative spirit, the criticizing, dictatorial spirit. There has been a great want of the spirit of Christ. {18MR 318.4}[50]
§105
如果基督住在心里，在每一个家庭里就应该有也会有彼此的疼惜与爱护；不是在喜欢爱抚中表达出来的间歇性的爱，而是持久的爱。爱是一种持久的原则，这使爱的美德与众不同，爱是高而又高的原则，神圣而圣洁，与那种由冲动引起的爱性质完全不同，后者是一种阵发的情欲，遇到测试和考验就突然消失了。{18MR 319.1}[51]
§106
In every family there should be, and will be, if Christ is abiding in the heart, affection and love for one another; not a spasmodic love expressed in fond caresses, but a love that is abiding. It is an abiding principle which distinguishes the grace of love, a principle high and elevated, sacred and holy, of altogether a different character than that love awakened by impulse, a passion that is fitful and that dies suddenly when tested and tried. {18MR 319.1}[51]
§107
家是一个我们要为天家作准备的地方。在家中若有使人不能在今生和睦生活的气质，若不归正，他们就不会在天家和睦。在自称爱并事奉上帝的家庭中总的来说太多粗心的谈论、责难、挑剔了。许多家庭中不仁慈的话语、不敬的行为和无礼使天使哭泣。像毒蛇一样刺人咬人的不仁慈的表情和言语在天上的案卷中留下了何等可怕的记录啊，而且那不是一年中仅仅一天的记录，而是一天又一天的记录。{18MR 319.2}[52]
§108
The home is a place where we are to prepare for the home above. If there are such temperaments in the family that they cannot live in harmony here, they would not, unless converted, be in harmony in the heavenly family. There is altogether too much careless talking, censuring, faultfinding, in families that profess to love and serve God. The unkind words, the irreverence and disrespect in many families, make angels weep. What a record is made upon the books of heaven of unkind looks and words that sting and bite like an adder, and it is not the record of one day only in the year, but of day after day. {18MR 319.2}[52]
§109
甚愿这些家庭会考虑上帝的天使在给品格拍照，像画家画出人的容貌特征一样准确；我们要照我们的行为受审判，无论那些行为是善是恶。我们当藉着实行忍耐来培养耐心。我们应当仁慈宽容，以便保持心中温暖的爱，从而发展上天能嘉许的品质。那些从这种家庭出来在自己家中为首的人会知道如何增进他们所选作为人生伴侣之人的幸福。他们会有相爱的、互相宽容的婚姻，不会是爱情的结束，而会是爱情的开始。{18MR 319.3}[53]
§110
Oh, that these families would consider that angels of God are taking a daguerreotype of the character just as accurate as the artist takes the likeness of the human features; and it is by our deeds that we will be judged, whether they be good or whether they be evil. We should cultivate patience by practicing patience. We should be kind and forbearing, that we may keep love warm in our hearts and thus develop qualities that Heaven shall approve. Those who go forth from such families to stand at the head of other families will know how to advance the happiness of the one whom they have selected as a companion for life. There will be mutual love, mutual forbearance. Marriage, in the place of being the end of love, will then be the very beginning of love. {18MR 319.3}[53]
§111
我们只有一生要过，不应该认为有什么东西足以值得导致不快乐的言语或行为。我们若是愿意在天上成为圣洁家庭的一员，就必须在今生进入亲密关系并与上帝的性情有分。（《信函》1886年3号）怀爱伦著作托管委员会1988年1月22日全文发表于美国首都华盛顿。{18MR 320.1}[54]
§112
We have but one life to live, and nothing should be considered of sufficient value to lead to unhappy words or deeds. We must come into close relationship and be partakers of the divine nature in this life, if we would be a member of the holy family in heaven above.--Letter 3, 1886. Ellen G. White Estate Washington, D. C. Jan. 22, 1988. Entire Letter. {18MR 320.1}[54]