第1262号 关于再婚的忠告
§1
第1262号 关于再婚的忠告
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MR No. 1262 - Counsel Regarding a Second Marriage
§3
（1895年8月26日写于澳大利亚，新南威尔士州，库兰邦，致“亲爱的姐妹”[凯特林夫人]）
§4
我收到并阅读了你的信，会作简要回复，因为我必须关注在星期一结束的邮件。关于您女儿和J的婚姻，我看出你的忧虑所在。但是婚姻是经你同意的。你的女儿了解J的一切，并接受他为自己的丈夫。如今我看不出你有什么理由为此事担忧。你的女儿爱J。这次婚姻也许是上帝的旨意，好让J和你女儿都获得更丰富的基督徒经验，以弥补不足之处。你的女儿已立誓嫁给J。违背婚约是不对的。她不能解除自己对他的义务。{17MR146.1}[1]
§5
(Written August 26, 1895, from Cooranbong, N.S.W., Australia, to Dear Sister [Mrs. Ketring].)
§6
I have received and read your letter, and will make but a brief reply, for the American mail, which closes on Monday, must have my attention. In regard to the marriage of your daughter with J, I see where you are troubled. But the marriage took place with your consent, and your daughter, knowing all about him, accepted him as her husband, and now I can see no reason why you should carry any burden over this matter. Your daughter loves J, and it may be that this marriage is in the order of God that both J and your daughter may have a richer Christian experience and be built up where they are deficient. Your daughter has pledged herself to J in marriage, and to break her marriage vows would be far from right. She cannot now disannul her obligations to him. {17MR 146.1}[1]
§7
你说J曾与托皮卡的一位年轻女子结过婚。对此我不能说什么，因为我没有听说他们婚姻的破裂是因为J的缘故。但我了解他与前妻K的关系。J深爱K，只是她不值得他这么爱。J曾尽力帮助她，千方百计要留住他的妻子。凡能做的他都已经做了。我也劝过她，试图向她指出她行为的矛盾性，希望她不要离婚。但是她任性固执，一意孤行。她与他共同生活的时候，总是尽量向他要钱，没有按妻子对丈夫应有的亲切待他。{17MR146.2}[2]
§8
You say that J was engaged to some young lady in Topeka. I cannot speak concerning this, for I have not heard Js reasons for breaking his engagement, if he did so. But I had a personal knowledge of his former relations with his first wife K. J loved K far too well, for she was not worthy of his regard. He did all in his power to help her, and sought in every possible way to retain her as his wife. He could not have done more than he did do. I pleaded with her, and tried to show her the inconsistency of her course, and begged her not to obtain a divorce; but she was determined and willful and stubborn, and would have her own way. While she lived with him, she sought to secure all the money possible from him, but she would not treat him kindly as a wife should treat her husband. {17MR 146.2}[2]
§9
不是J离开了他的妻子，而是妻子抛弃了他，嫁给了别的男人。我在圣经中看不到什么教训可以阻止他再婚。他有权获得一个女子的爱情，只要她谅解了他身体的缺陷，愿意选择他为爱侣。{17MR147.1}[3]
§10
J did not put his wife away. She left him, and put him away, and married another man. I see nothing in the Scripture that forbids him to marry again in the Lord. He has a right to the affection of a woman who, knowing his physical defect, shall choose to give him her love. {17MR 147.1}[3]
§11
在当今的时代，不育并不是最糟糕的情形。我见过拥有一大堆孩子的妻子们。她们无法给孩子适当的照顾。她们在产后没有时间恢复就又怀孕了。这些妇女中有许多是穷人的妻子。他们没有能力抚养日渐增加的家庭人口。我现在也帮助他们为孩子提供食物，衣服和教育。尽管他们没有能力养活子女，出生的孩子却越来越多。{17MR147.2}[4]
§12
The time has come when a sterile condition is not the worst condition to be in. I see wives who have borne large families of children, and they are unable to give them proper care. These women do not have time to recover from the weakness of bearing one child before they are with child again. Many of these women are the wives of poor men who have not sufficient means to support their increasing families, and I am at the present time helping them to feed and clothe and educate their children. But notwithstanding their inability to support their offspring, children are brought into the world as fast as possible. {17MR 147.2}[4]
§13
但这样做并不符合上帝的旨意。这些妇女的丈夫把妻子当作泄欲的工具。孩子迅速降生；责任迅速增加。妻子和母亲根本没有机会培养自己的心智，没有时间和机会从事宗教工作。在这样的家庭里，上帝没有得到荣耀。{17MR147.3}[5]
§14
But God is not in this kind of doing. The husbands of these women seem to think that their wives are for no other purpose than to gratify their lustful passions. Children are brought into the world so rapidly, responsibilities accumulate so speedily, that the wives and mothers have no chance for the cultivation of their minds, no time or opportunity to devote to religious work. God is not glorified in such families. {17MR 147.3}[5]
§15
有许多年轻的女传道士结婚后很快有了孩子。为了照顾孩子，她们只好退出传道园地。你可以庆幸你的女儿从事主的圣工没有这样的牵累。她可以陪伴丈夫出行，帮助他。她在家时，可以像未婚一样服侍主。这是我对这件事情的看法。{17MR147.4}[6]
§16
Many of our young women missionaries marry, and in a few months time they have children to care for, and are taken out of the missionary field. You may rejoice that your daughter will not be thus hindered in her work for the Master. She can accompany her husband in his travels, and be a help to him, and when she is left at home she can work for the Lord as though she were unmarried. This is my view of the matter. {17MR 147.4}[6]
§17
我相信J，相信他是基督徒。我曾有机会了解一些他的性情。那是他与第一位妻子相处经历试炼的时候。她一有机会就向他要钱。他则尽力十倍满足她，超过她的愿望和他自己的本分。他为她吃了不少苦头。我曾设法尽量帮助他。我曾经设法帮助K认识自己的责任，但她还是一意孤行。这次新的婚姻，我认为没有什么可担忧的。{17MR148.1}[7]
§18
I have confidence in J, and believe that he is a Christian. I had occasion to know something of the temper of his spirit when he was going through his trial with his first wife. She tried to extract money from him when she saw she had the advantage of him, and he was willing to do tenfold more for her than it was her right to expect or his duty to do. He has sore and hard trials on her account. I have tried to help him all that I could. I have tried to enable K to see and understand her duty. But as she has taken the course that she has, I cannot see that this new union should be disturbed. {17MR 148.1}[7]
§19
一个男人和他的妻子分手，是一件严肃的事情。走出这一步，并没有圣经的依据。他没有离开妻子，而是妻子离开了他。他没有再婚，直到妻子办完离婚手续。K离开他的时候，他很痛苦。直到K嫁给了另一个男人，他才考虑再婚。我觉得他所选择的人能帮助他，他也能帮助她。{17MR148.2}[8]
§20
It is a serious matter to part a man and his wife. There is no Scriptural ground upon which to take such a step in this case. He did not leave her, she left him. He did not marry again until she had obtained a divorce. When K divorced herself from J, he suffered most keenly, and it was not until K had married another man that J married again. The one he has chosen I feel certain will be a help to him, and he can be a help to her. {17MR 148.2}[8]
§21
J的品格并不完美，他有一些讨厌的特性。他有财产，但用得不是最好。有时他很慷慨，有时又过于吝啬节俭。但是若有一个敬畏上帝的女子在他旁边，就会劝他不要意气用事，而要把钱财投入上帝的府库中。{17MR148.3}[9]
§22
J is not perfect in character. He has some objectionable characteristics. He has been entrusted with means, and he does not always put it to the very best account. Sometimes he is very lavish with his money, and sometimes very narrow in its use and severely economical. But a good, God-fearing woman at his side will be able to advise him not to move impulsively, and counsel him to place his money in the treasury of the Lord. {17MR 148.3}[9]
§23
J身负重任。如果他的姻亲以诚心待他，就会影响他成为主财富聪明的管家。他会使用他的钱财，像是在全宇宙面前。他不会用非法的手段赚钱，而会单单仰望上帝的荣耀。他将回避一切卑鄙的诡计，和不诚实的手段，不做任何妨碍培养真虔诚的事情。他将认识到自己的一切业务交易都处在上帝的管理之下。{17MR148.4}[10]
§24
J is in a responsible position, and if the members of the family to which he has allied himself in marriage will prove true to him, they will influence him to become a wise steward of his Lords goods. Then he will bestow his means as if in the view of the whole universe of heaven. He will not participate in any unlawful scheme for making money, but will move with an eye single to the glory of God. He will eschew all petty tricks and avoid all mean, dishonest devices, and will do nothing that will [in] any way work against the cultivation of true piety. He will realize that all his business transactions lie within the domain of God. {17MR 148.4}[10]
§25
我们不要忘记，管家所处置的是主的财产。他负有神圣的职责。圣经要求人在买卖交易的时候，要深刻意识到他们在向天父祈求力量和恩典时所承诺的宗教职责。{17MR149.1}[11]
§26
We must not lose sight of the fact that the steward is to trade with his Lords goods, and that he is handling a sacred responsibility. The Bible requires that men buy and sell and transact all their business with as keen a sense of their religious obligation as they have when offering up petitions to their heavenly Father, asking for strength and grace. {17MR 149.1}[11]
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上帝不会让人随意处置自己的财产，心血来潮，有求必应。他所经手的钱财不是他自己的，不可浪费。因为主的葡萄园需要工作；工作需要开支。现在正是我们受托的时候。结账的日子尚未来到。{17MR149.2}[12]
§28
The Lord has not left anyone to do as he pleases with his goods, and to give as impulse shall dictate or as friends may demand. The money he handles is not his, and is not to be expended unnecessarily, for the vineyard of the Lord is to be worked, and its working requires the expenditure of means. Now is our day of trust, and the day of reckoning is yet to come. {17MR 149.2}[12]
§29
上帝把钱财委托给祂的管家去聪明地使用。因为每一个人都负有道德的责任，需要履行职责。我们的资财是根据我们使用的能力而赐给我们的。但我们不可用上帝的资财单为满足自私的愿望，意气用事。{17MR149.3}[13]
§30
The Lord has entrusted means to His stewards to be used wisely, for all are moral agents and are required to bear responsibilities. Our varied trusts are given in proportion to our ability to use, but we are not to use Gods means merely for the gratification of selfish desires, and as inclination may dictate. {17MR 149.3}[13]
§31
J过去在处置主的资财时曾有过失败。他没有始终考虑到要用托付给他的钱财讨主的喜欢，并推进真理的事业。他必须为如何处置所托付给他的钱财而交账。在这件事情上，他不可考虑自己的心意。他必须向上帝寻求智慧。我不希望J勉强地向这块贫瘠的园地捐献一块钱，因为奉献若不出于甘心就不会得到上帝的赐福。即使为了上帝的工作，我也不愿意勉强人捐钱。{17MR149.4}[14]
§32
J has failed at times in the past in handling his Lord goods, and has not always considered whether he was using the money entrusted to him in a way that would please his Master and advance the cause of truth. He must give an account of how he disposes of the means given in trust to him. He cannot study his own will in this matter. He must seek wisdom from God. I do not desire J to bestow one dollar in this destitute field unwillingly, for unwilling offerings are not accompanied with the blessing of God. I have no urging to do, and do not wish to force money from anyone, even for the work of God. {17MR 149.4}[14]
§33
上帝有工作要做。我在使用我所能节省的一切资财，为自己预备家宅、生计和日常设施。还有其他的人甘心乐意在这块主的葡萄园里帮助我。如果所有的人都能忠心尽职，托付给他们的财富就会加倍。凡把上帝的东西归还给祂的人，将会为他的忠诚而得到尊荣，并听到主说：“好，你这又良善又忠心的仆人”（太25:21）。但人若只凭自己的意思奉献是不合适的。基督对我们的全部财产拥有主权。{17MR150.1}[15]
§34
God has a work to do, and I am using all the means that I can spare, and provide myself with home, livelihood, and common conveniences. There are others who gladly and willingly help me in this part of the Lords vineyard. If all do their duty according to the measure of their responsibilities, the amount entrusted to them will be doubled. He who gives back to God His own, will be honored for his fidelity, and will hear the Master say, Well done, thou good and faithful servant. But it is not proper for persons to give just as the notion may strike them. Christ has a right to all that we have. {17MR 150.1}[15]
§35
J觉得不能随便帮助你的儿子，你不要感到惊奇。你的儿子既不珍惜他所拥有的机会和特权，滥用了自己的才能，浪费了上帝的恩赐，在下一次考验时，他能做得更好么？他学到了上帝要他学习的功课了吗？世界上有许多宝贵的生灵希望得到教育的机会；他们不愿意播撒野麦，而愿尽一切力量去获得行善的知识。J没有立刻答应你的要求，我还是感到意外的，因为你是他所爱妻子的母亲。也许他正在学习谨慎的功课，把过去的教训铭记在心。他已经帮助了许多人，而这并非他分内之事。你应该把他拒绝给你钱，看作是他真诚的证据。他不愿勉强自己取悦你。{17MR150.2}[16]
§36
You must not be surprised that J does not feel free to help your son. If your son has not appreciated the opportunities and privileges he has had, if he has misapplied his own powers, and wasted his God-given talents, the question is, Will he do better upon a second trial? Has he learned the lesson that God wills he should learn? There are many precious souls who would be so glad of a chance to obtain an education, who will not sow wild oats but will use every capability in obtaining knowledge with which to do good. I am surprised that J did not at once accede to your request, as you are the mother of his wife whom he loves. It may be that he is learning caution, and is taking the lesson of the past to heart. He has helped many whom it was not his duty to help. You should take his refusal to give you money as an evidence of his sincerity in that he will not compromise himself to win your favor. {17MR 150.2}[16]
§37
我相信J是会履行自己职责的。他曾错误地给了他前妻的家庭一笔钱。这件事可能使他不愿意重蹈覆辙。我希望他拒绝资助你儿子去巴特尔克里克或联合大学的事，不会使你对他怀有成见。它不应带来那样的影响。{17MR150.3}[17]
§38
I am sure that J means to do his duty. The mistake he made in bestowing his money on his first wifes family has probably taught him not to repeat the experiment. I hope that his refusal to give you means to enable your son to go to Battle Creek or to Union College will not cause you to become prejudiced against him. It should have no such influence. {17MR 150.3}[17]
§39
如果你的女儿爱J，我在圣经中看不到有让她离开他的理由。你既征求我的意见，我就坦率地告诉你。如果J按你的要求给了你钱，这难道不像是他用钱买你的欢心吗？你的儿子出去工作，供养自己，进行自学，而不靠任何人的布施，这难道不是更好吗？{17MR151.1}[18]
§40
If your daughter loved J. I see nothing in the Word of God that would require her to separate from him. As you have asked my advice I will freely give it to you. If J had given you the money you asked for, would it not have been something like trying to buy your favor? Would it not be much more fitting for your son to go to work and secure money for himself, and educate himself, rather than to be dependent upon anybody for such a favor? {17MR 151.1}[18]
§41
有时帮助我们的孩子反倒不智。那些通过自己的努力进入大学的人，比受他人资助入学的人更珍惜他们的机会，因为他们知道机会的代价。我们不要过分照料自己的孩子，使他们成为无用的负担。要教育你的儿子勤奋，自强自立并帮助别人。{17MR151.2}[19]
§42
There is such a thing as giving unwise help to our children. Those who work their way through college appreciate their advantages more than those who are provided with them at someone elses expense, for they know their cost. We must not carry our children until they become helpless burdens. Educate your son to be diligent, able to sustain himself and to help others. {17MR 151.2}[19]
§43
上帝是宇宙的主宰。无论男女老少，连同他们的光阴和才能，都是属于上帝的。祂赐人能力，用来荣耀祂，从而使能力、智慧和聪明得到增进。上帝对每一个人是有要求的，我们是负有责任的，应当不断地侍奉祂。我们的身、心、灵都要献给上帝为祂服务，做在地上推进祂圣工的事情。我们要在地上遵行祂的旨意。不要考虑自己的快乐。也不要让冲动来控制我们的行动。{17MR151.3}[20]
§44
God is the proprietor of the universe. Every man, woman, and child, with all the time and talents that have been bestowed upon them, belongs to God, He has given ability to men that they may use it to His glory, and thus have increased ability, wisdom, and understanding. God has a claim upon every soul, and we are responsible agents and should give Him constant service. Body, soul, and spirit, we should consecrate ourselves to His service, and do those things that will forward His cause in the earth. We are to do His will upon the earth. Our pleasure is not to be consulted nor permitted to be the governing impulse. {17MR 151.3}[20]
§45
我亲爱的姊妹，我现在要把这封信寄给你，也要抄一份给J。我希望代行他母亲的职责。他在痛苦的时候需要一位母亲。他放在我手里的每一分钱，都用在救灵的事业上。将来他会听到主对他说：“好，你这又良善又忠心的仆人，可以进来享受你主人的快乐”（太25:23）。{17MR151.4}[21]
§46
Now, my dear sister, I will send you this letter, and also forward a copy of it to J. I desire to act the part of a mother to him. In times of affliction he has needed a mother. Every penny he has placed in my hands has been used for the saving of perishing souls, and in time to come may it be his experience to hear from the lips of the Master, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: . . . enter thou into the joy of thy Lord. {17MR 151.4}[21]
§47
你给自己背负了不必要的负担，我真的很难过。你没有看出把J和你女儿分开，是毁了两个人，而不是医治一个人吗？你的女儿已经嫁给了J。她没有理由与他分开。你也没有理由希望他们结束夫妇身份的同居和同工。你可能会传播所听到的坏消息，使你自己、你女儿和她丈夫心里难过。但愿这两个上帝的儿女按照婚约的要求同心同德。愿他们献身给上帝，遵行祂的旨意，成为尊贵的器皿，合主所用。{17MR152.1}[22]
§48
I am truly sorry that you have taken upon yourself unnecessary burdens. Do you not see that in separating J and your daughter you would create two evils instead of curing one? Your daughter has married J, and there is no reason why she should be separated from him. You have no just excuse for desiring them to cease living and working together as man and wife. You may give publicity to the evil reports that may come to you, and be the means of making yourself, your daughter, and her husband miserable. Let those two, as children of God, unite their interests as their marriage vows require them to do; let them consecrate themselves to God to do His will, to be vessels unto honor, meet for the Masters use. {17MR 152.1}[22]
§49
你则要做一个忠心的母亲，千方百计智慧地劝导他们，帮助他们。既知道你们都是属于上帝的，就要以公正和慈爱彼此相待。要坦诚，仁慈，培养全心全意的正直。这样，你就会赢得永不衰残的生命冠冕。要全然信靠上帝，祂会赐福你，赐给你平安和安息。{17MR152.2}[23]
§50
On your part, act as a faithful mother should. Be wise to counsel and help them in every way that lies in your power. Knowing that you all belong to God, deal justly and lovingly with each other. Be frank, be kind, cultivate whole-souled integrity, and you will win a crown of life that fadeth not away. Have perfect trust in God, and He will bless you and give you peace and rest. {17MR 152.2}[23]
§51
我在夜里一点半写了这封信，以便在这批邮件中寄给你。我现在要止笔了，多多爱你和你的家人。（《信函》1895年50号）怀爱伦著作托管委员会1987年6月4日全文发表于美国首都华盛顿。{17MR152.3}[24]
§52
I have written this letter at half-past-one in the night, in order to send it to you in this mail. I will now close, with much love to yourself and family.--Letter 50, 1895. Ellen G. White Estate Washington, D. C. June 4, 1987. Entire Letter. {17MR 152.3}[24]