第1229号 呼吁一位自我中心的妻子..
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第1229号 呼吁一位自我中心的妻子..
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MR No. 1229 - An Appeal to a Self-Centered Wife to Repent and Reform
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（1890年3月23日写自伊利诺斯州芝加哥，致“亲爱的克雷格弟兄，”其中有给克雷格夫人和她母亲的信息。）{16MR 301.1}[1]
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(Written March 23, 1890, from Chicago, Illinois, to Dear Brother Craig, with internal messages to Mrs. Craig and her mother.) {16MR 301.1}[1]
§5
芝加哥会议时，我看到你妻子似乎有所转变，我希望这种转变能够持久。当我听到她认罪之时，我对天父充满了感恩之心，因为我以为肩上卸下了最严峻的任务；然而这担子依旧在我身上。我知道她并没有好转。如果她的心血来潮得到满足，就会引起种种危险和困难，令那些不了解鼓动她的邪灵的人感到几乎不可思议。她的母亲严重忽视了对她早期教育，以致她毫无作为妻子的责任感。她觉得没有义务爱和顺从她的丈夫或顺从上帝的权威。她并不知道何为真爱。她没有受过要克制自己的教育。她的人生经验和教育使她没有资格作妻子。{16MR 301.2}[2]
§6
I hoped the change which seemed to take place in your wife at the meeting in Chicago would be lasting, and was so grateful to our heavenly Father when I heard her confession, for I thought that a most severe task was lifted from my shoulders; but the burden is still upon me. I know that she is not changed for the better. The dangers and difficulties which she will create if her whims are gratified are almost incredible to those who do not understand the spirit which actuates her. Her early education has been so neglected by her mother that she has no sense of the duties which devolve upon her as a wife. She feels under no obligation to love and obey her husband or to yield to the authority of God. She does not know what true love is. She has not been educated to self-control. Her life experience and education have been such as to disqualify her for the position of a wife. {16MR 301.2}[2]
§7
她是她丈夫的一个可怕的重担，因为她并不设法使自己有用或担负她那份人生责任。她若愿意思考，就会看到她期待他为赡养她而工作同时她却动不动就打搅他，使他困惑烦恼，这是多么不公平。她一点也不增加家庭收入，却认为自己有特权随心所欲地花钱。同时她还觉得自己有权放任自己的情绪像个被惯坏的孩子，动不动就生气，喜爱大发脾气，直到生活对他来说成了重担。当离开她丈夫的时候，她是愉快的，显得很好，只要她能随心所欲。{16MR 301.3}[3]
§8
She is a terrible burden to her husband, for she does not try to make herself useful or bear her share of lifes responsibilities. If she would reason, she would see how unjust it is for her to expect him to labor for her support while she gives herself up to annoy, perplex, and harass him. She adds nothing to the family income, yet thinks it her privilege to spend as she pleases. At the same time she feels at liberty to give way to her feelings like a spoiled child, taking offense at nothing, and indulging in outbursts of passion until life is a burden to him. When away from her husband she is cheerful, and appears to be well, as long as she can have her own way. {16MR 301.3}[3]
§9
当她想要做一件事的时候，她就能忍受许多女人会认为对自己的体力来说很费力的事。然而当有人希望她做什么不合她口味的事情时，她就装出殉道者的样子，不会付出任何努力。她的疾病大部分是想像出来的，为要耸动视听。她生她丈夫的气是因为她不能使他服从她的控制，因为他设法保持他的个性，不愿放弃上帝赐给他的男子气概。{16MR 302.1}[4]
§10
When she wants to do a thing, she can endure what many women would think a heavy tax upon their physical powers. But when desired to do anything which is distasteful to her, she assumes the air of a martyr, and is incapable of any exertion. Much of her illness is feigned, in order to create a sensation. She is angry with her husband because she cannot make him submit to her control, because he has tried to preserve his identity, and not yield up his God-given manhood. {16MR 302.1}[4]
§11
她认为每一个人都应该像她母亲和别人做过的那样做——纵容她并考虑她的心愿；她也决心使人们这么做。要是她丈夫屈服于她，就会失去他的男子气概；要是上帝安置在芝加哥传道所的人宠着她并满足她的心愿，他们就不会忠于所托。要是让她的精神在传道所占上风，恶天使们就会成为统治性势力。{16MR 302.2}[5]
§12
She thinks that everyone must do as her mother and others have done-- indulge her and consult her wishes; and she is determined to bring them to it. Should her husband yield to her, he would lose his manhood; and should those whom God has placed over the Chicago mission pet her and gratify her wishes, they would be unfaithful to their trust. Should her spirit be allowed to have the ascendancy in the mission, evil angels would become the ruling power. {16MR 302.2}[5]
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尽管她丈夫竭力寻求正直地侍奉上帝，她却会作他的恶天使，力图引诱他偏离义路。她心中自视甚高，觉得她丈夫必须对她顶礼膜拜；实际上，她是撒但的媒介，试图占据上帝应有的位置。她随从自己未成圣之心的冲动，直到撒但几乎完全控制了她。{16MR 302.3}[6]
§14
However earnestly her husband may endeavor to pursue a straightforward course to serve God, she will be his evil angel, seeking to lead him away from righteousness. In her own estimation she is the idol he must worship; in fact, she is Satans agent, seeking to occupy the place where God should be. She has followed the impulses of her own unconsecrated heart until Satan has almost complete control of her. {16MR 302.3}[6]
§15
克雷格姐妹从未受训练要自我控制。她没有什么思想深度，也没有什么能力看出神圣的事。她并不喜爱凡进入天国的人都必须学会的舍己和自我牺牲的部分。但她在实行她自己的意愿和在丈夫心中造成虚假印象方面却足够精明。要是凡事都迎合她，她就确实能非常谦恭有礼讨人喜欢，然而她的品格毫无稳定性。她已很好地学会了为得到良好的印象而行事、耸动视听以叫人注意她小小的自我的秘诀。我只见过不多的几个人成功地使自我成为别人注意的中心同时在品格上却很少有甜美、高尚、真正的吸引力。{16MR 302.4}[7]
§16
Sister Craig has never been trained to self-control. She has but very slight depth of mind, and little ability to discern sacred things. She does not enjoy the self-denying, self-sacrificing part that all must learn who enter heaven. But she is sharp enough in carrying out her own will and in making a false impression upon her husbands mind. She can indeed be very courteous and pleasing if everything goes to suit her, but there is no solidity to her character. She has well learned the secret of acting for effect, of creating a sensation to call attention to her small self. I have seen but few persons as successful in making self the center of attraction when there was so little sweet, noble, genuine attractiveness in the character. {16MR 302.4}[7]
§17
然而她若不改变自己的做法，这种为了给人良好印象而行事、这种不顾一切地用计谋迫使她丈夫注意她并获得他的同情的做法最终就会重演太多次，而上帝就会将她完全交在撒但手里。若不发生改变，不久时候必到，一种坚如钢铁的意志既控制了这个妻子低级本性，就会打倒她丈夫的坚强意志，到和她一样低劣的水平。那时他的意志就会与他冲动、矛盾、疯狂的妻子的意志融合。他就会不再是一个男子汉，因为她妻子邪恶的品格模式也会加在他的品格上。他的同情就不会再是纯洁未腐败的，像精金，而会变质。他的精力会被削弱，他的生命被扭曲。{16MR 303.1}[8]
§18
But unless she changes her course, this acting for effect, this desperate maneuvering to force the attention of her husband and gain his sympathy, will finally be repeated once too many times, and God will give her fully into the hands of Satan. Unless there is a change, a time will come soon when this lower nature in the wife, controlled by a will as strong as steel, will bring down the strong will of the husband to her own low level. His will would then be merged in that of the impulsive, inconsistent, insane wife. He would no longer be a man, for the satanic mold upon the character of the wife would be upon him also. His sympathies would no longer be pure and uncorrupted, like fine gold, but they would be deteriorated. His energies would be enfeebled, his life distorted. {16MR 303.1}[8]
§19
克雷格弟兄已经感觉到自己有责任要为她而战，为了她而变得像她一样反复无常，透过她的双眼看问题，并且为她的权利而斗争；因为他若不这么做，她就会沉湎于那些可怕的情欲爆发。她多次重复断言依靠他的同情，她制造出来的身体残疾成了他持续不断的重担。在她母亲家里她的意志就是律法。无论她的做法多么前后矛盾违反常情，都被视为是身体状况导致的结果，必须完全允许，认为她的每一个要求都必须予以满足。{16MR 303.2}[9]
§20
Brother Craig has felt that it was his duty to fight her battles, become as inconsistent in her behalf as she is herself, see through her eyes, and contend for her rights; for unless he does this, she will indulge in those awful outbursts of passion. Her oft-repeated assertions draw upon his sympathies, and a continual burden is cast upon him by her manufactured physical disabilities. In her mothers house her will was law. However inconsistent and perverse her course, it was regarded as resulting from a physical condition for which all allowance must be made. It was thought that her every demand must be met. {16MR 303.2}[9]
§21
然而母亲和其他亲属的愚蠢行为切不可成为丈夫的愚蠢行为。要是他随从他们的脚踪，他的生活和她的生活就会受到破坏。他们从未出生倒会更好。事实上，她很适合住精神病院；因为上帝已指示我看到她将自己的灵与魂与身子完全交在撒但手中，他的能力正在藉着她消灭她丈夫优良的正义感和正直感。{16MR 304.1}[10]
§22
But the folly of the mother and other relatives must not become the folly of the husband. Should he follow in their footsteps, his life and hers also would be wrecked. Better would it be had they never been born. As it is, she is a fit subject for the insane asylum; for God has shown me that she throws herself wholly into the hands of Satan, soul, body and spirit, and his power through her is deadening the fine sensibilities of right and integrity in her husband. {16MR 304.1}[10]
§23
如果她是个孩子，她就可以受到这样的对待；这些脾气的爆发可以像任性易怒的孩子一样受到惩罚。然而她是一个女人，她的丈夫不能强迫她乖张的意志变得合乎情理。这种苛求的性情也绝不能藉着屈服于它来得到改善。她的悲剧性表演行出来为要惊吓她的丈夫，使他依从她的要求，而他必须屈服否则就会争吵。撒但既看到当她这样将自己的灵魂和身体都交在他手中——以致他能随心所欲地利用她——时，他如何能藉着她行事，只要她的意愿受阻，他就越来越多地使她这样发作。在这种情况下，克雷格弟兄所对付就不是这个女人，而是一种拼死的恶魔的灵。{16MR 304.2}[11]
§24
If she were a child, she could be treated as such; these outbursts of temper could be punished as those of a self-willed, passionate child. But she is a woman, and her husband cannot force her perverse will to be reasonable. Never will this exacting temperament be improved by yielding to it. Her tragical performances are enacted to frighten her husband into complying with her demands, and he must yield or have a scene. As Satan sees how he can work through her when she thus casts soul and body into his hands--that he can use her as he pleases--he will throw her into these paroxysms more and more, whenever her will is crossed. In this case it is not the woman whom Brother Craig is dealing with, but a desperate, satanic spirit. {16MR 304.2}[11]
§25
主有一番工作要克雷格弟兄去完成。但如果他受制于他妻子狂暴的发作，就会不知所措，即使作出牺牲也救不了她。{16MR 304.3}[12]
§26
The Lord has a work for Brother Craig to do, but if he is overcome by these outbursts on the part of his wife, he is a lost man, and she is not saved by the sacrifice. {16MR 304.3}[12]
§27
对于这个非常专横、顽梗、无法管束的年轻妻子，克雷格弟兄最好的办法就是把她送回娘家，交给那个把她造就成这样的母亲。如果克雷格弟兄不想让自己的属灵生命毁灭，牺牲在歇斯底里和邪恶想象的鬼魔手下，那么，这样做虽然一定很痛苦，但却是唯一可行之策。撒但完全控制了她的脾气与意志，利用这些如同造成荒凉的冰雹，打倒一切阻碍。她的丈夫非但帮不了她，反倒会给自己带来无尽的伤害，并且剥夺上帝所赐给他的才干与感化力。{16MR 304.4}[13]
§28
His best course with this child-wife, so overbearing, so unyielding, and so uncontrollable, is to take her home and leave her with the mother who has made her what she is. Though it must be painful, this is the only thing for him to do if he would not be ruined spiritually, sacrificed to the demon of hysterics and satanic imaginings. Satan takes entire control of her temper and will, and uses them like desolating hail to beat down every obstruction. Her husband can do her no good, but is doing himself incalculable harm, and robbing God of the talents and influence He has given. {16MR 304.4}[13]
§29
上帝命定丈夫作一家之首，在克雷格姐妹认清自己作为妻子的位置和责任之前，克雷格弟兄最好不要和她有任何联系。妻子要尊重并顺从自己的丈夫，如果克雷格姐妹完全拒绝遵守婚姻的誓言，她就会越来越成为撒但试探玩弄的对象。如果克雷格弟兄同意把她留在身边，消磨自己的生命，就会变得灰心失望，不适合为主服务。他妻子只会折磨他的灵魂，他没有义务把这样一个人留在自己身边。我蒙指示看到，克雷格弟兄已经在失去他的男子汉气概，被他妻子所影响、所模铸。他们的婚姻是撒但的一个网罗。{16MR 305.1}[14]
§30
God has placed the husband at the head of the family; and until Sister Craig shall learn her place and duties as a wife, it will be best for him not to be connected with her in any way. The wife is to respect and obey; but if she utterly refuses to keep the marriage vow, she will be more and more the sport of Satans temptations; and if her husband consents to keep her by his side, to wear out his life, he will become discouraged and unfitted for the Lords service. He is under no obligations to keep one by his side who will only torture his soul. I was shown that he has already been losing his manhood, and has been influenced and molded by his wife. Their marriage was a snare of Satan. {16MR 305.1}[14]
§31
克雷格姐妹决意“顺我者昌，逆我者亡”。我蒙指示看到，她已彻底把自己交在撒但手中，以致她丈夫担心她失去理智，但他若允许撒但藉着他妻子的策略控制他，就会犯下最严重的错误。克雷格弟兄啊，我明白地告诉你，你妻子是被鬼魔控制着，如果这些邪灵大行其道，那么你的自由、你的男子汉气概，都将不复存在；你被她的反复无常奴役着。你若屈从她的摆布，她就肯定会成为撒但手中的工具，使你与上帝隔绝。她会提出恶意的猜度和怀疑，会打破你和传道所那些你应该完全联合之人之间的和睦与信任。事实上，那些蒙上帝呼召在传道所充任受托职位的人若是妨碍到她的好恶，她心对他们就毫无尊重。{16MR 305.2}[15]
§32
Sister Craig is determined to rule or ruin. I was shown that she has so thoroughly yielded herself into Satans hands that her husband fears for her reason, but he will make one of the gravest mistakes of his life if he permits himself to be controlled by Satan through the device of his wife. I tell you plainly, she is controlled by demons, and if these evil spirits have their way, your liberty, Brother Craig, your manhood are gone; you are a slave to her caprices. If you yield to her sway, she will surely be an instrument in the hands of Satan to separate you from God. She will suggest evil surmisings and suspicions that will break up the harmony and confidence between you and those in the mission with whom you should be in perfect union. The fact that persons have been called of God to fill positions of trust in the mission awakens no respect for them in her heart if they interfere with her likes and dislikes. {16MR 305.2}[15]
§33
不信任、不公正的批评和不服从的意志必是住在这个孩子（因为她只不过是个孩子）心中的撒但精神的结果——这个被娇纵的、被宠爱的、决心要控制家中每一个人的孩子。然而在传道所切不可允许这样。主希望克雷格弟兄成为祂忠心的仆人，传道所中的一个管家，一个成长的男人，在理智上得到加强，变得越来越有资格从事主的工作。{16MR 306.1}[16]
§34
Distrust, unjust criticism, and insubordination will be the fruit of the satanic spirit that dwells in this child (for she is nothing but a child)--indulged, petted, and determined to control everyone in the household. But this must not be allowed in the mission. The Lord would have Brother Craig be His faithful servant, a steward in the mission, a growing man, strengthening in intellect, becoming better and better qualified to do the work of the Master. {16MR 306.1}[16]
§35
克雷格姐妹的品格必须有彻底的改变，否则她绝不会进入天国。她现在考虑她自己，取悦她自己。她会采取任何一种做法以获得对自己的赞赏。如果她的心愿得不到满足，她就会使自己陷入完全的狂怒中。她若继续这样下去，撒但就会藉着她如此行事，甚至她丈夫的生命都会不安全。她并不关心上帝、天国或地狱。耶稣悲伤地看着她——祂已为之牺牲了自己生命的一个人竟然如此轻视自己灵魂的价值以致将它交在撒但手中。{16MR 306.2}[17]
§36
Sister Craig must have a thorough transformation of character or she will never enter heaven. She now studies herself, pleases herself. She will pursue any course to secure admiration of self. If her wishes are not gratified, she works herself up into a perfect fury. If she continues in this way, Satan will so work through her that even the life of her husband will be unsafe. She cares not for God, heaven, or hell. Jesus looks upon her with sorrow--that one for whom He has sacrificed His own life should value her soul so lightly as to give it into the hands of Satan. {16MR 306.2}[17]
§37
克雷格姐妹若是愿意靠着基督的恩典使她坚决的意志去从事抛弃控制着她的邪灵的工作，并且有益地利用她所拥有的知识，那么她就能成为她丈夫的一个福气而不是咒诅。然而她若不愿听从上帝的忠告，我蒙指示看到她丈夫惟一可行的做法就是把她交给她的父母，让她母亲去承受自己管理不善造成的苦果。要是她在年幼的时候受过管教的杖而不是接受不明智的同情和纵容，她的丈夫现在就不会处在如此大的危险中了。{16MR 306.3}[18]
§38
If, through the grace of Christ, Sister Craig would bend her determined will to the work of putting away the wicked spirit which controls her, and would use the knowledge she has to good purpose, then she might be a blessing rather than a curse to her husband. But if she will not heed the counsels of God, I have been shown that the only course for her husband to pursue is to leave her with her parents, that her mother may bear the affliction which her own mismanagement has caused. Had she in her youth been made to feel the rod of correction instead of receiving unwise sympathy and indulgence, her husband would not now be placed in so great peril as he is. {16MR 306.3}[18]
§39
无论克雷格弟兄现在采取什么做法，他都会受责备。他若继续与她一起生活，她就会使他们的婚姻生活成为一种恐怖统治。他若不允许她败坏他的理智，毒害他的心思反对他的弟兄们，就会不得不持续作战。不仅他的男子气概会被牺牲掉，他还会丧失自己的正直，全都为了取悦一个如此坚决要统治她丈夫身心的女人，她愿意将自己的灵与魂与身子交撒但，以便他去完成她想要看到完成的工作。耶稣赶鬼时有一个人伤害自己砍自己，附在她身上的就是那种鬼。{16MR 307.1}[19]
§40
Whatever course Brother Craig takes now, he will be censured. If he continues to live with her, she will make their married life a reign of terror. Unless he permits her to pervert his senses, to poison his mind against his brethren, he will have to maintain constant warfare. Not only will his manhood be sacrificed, but he will lose his integrity, and all to please a woman who is so determined to rule her husband, both mind and body, that she will give to Satan her soul, body, and spirit, in order for him to accomplish the work she would see done. She is just as much possessed by a demon as was the man who tore and cut himself when Jesus cast out the devils. {16MR 307.1}[19]
§41
克雷格弟兄因他妻子的这些表现而非常痛苦；然而绝不可让撒但的能力藉着她或由于她的缘故而藉着他得到允许以控制传道所。让她留在她母亲家要好得多，直到她的品格得到改变，恶魔被逐出；直到她乐于接受劝勉和帮助，温柔地坐在耶稣脚前，在基督的门下学习宝贵的功课。{16MR 307.2}[20]
§42
Brother Craig is sorely afflicted by these exhibitions on the part of his wife; but never, never must the power of Satan exercised through her, or through him on her account, be allowed to control the mission. Better by far let her stay in her mothers home till her character is transformed and the demon is dispossessed; until she shall be willing to receive counsel and help, sitting meekly at the feet of Jesus, learning precious lessons in the school of Christ. {16MR 307.2}[20]
§43
我蒙指示看到我们必须竭尽所能地使克雷格姐妹睁眼看到她错误的行径；如果这么做失败了，我们就必须设法开克雷格弟兄的眼睛，使他不至于因她的错误幻象而陷入错误中，以致上帝的智慧离开他。{16MR 307.3}[21]
§44
I was shown that we must do all that is in our power to open Sister Craigs eyes to her wrong course; and if this fails we must try to open the eyes of Brother Craig that he may not be betrayed into error through her perverted vision, and the wisdom of God be taken from him. {16MR 307.3}[21]
§45
如果克雷格姐妹继续她现在的做法，时候就不远了，她将不可能随意摆脱这种权势。撒但已经几乎完全控制了她的意志、她的头脑和她的判断力。他以如此明显的方式藉以行事的任何一个人都不应该参与上帝的工作。{16MR 307.4}[22]
§46
If Sister Craig continues her present course, the time is not far distant when it will be impossible for her to break this power at will. Already Satan holds almost complete control of her will, her mind, and her judgment. No one through whom he works in such a manifest manner should be connected with Gods work. {16MR 307.4}[22]
§47
只有很少的人强壮到足以日复一日、周复一周地对抗像克雷格姐妹这样的意志，只要与她意愿相左，或者只要那恶者愿意利用她，她就能吵闹一场，这种事常常发生。然而对此克雷格弟兄应该让撒但愤怒，不应让自己因妻子的愿望而断绝宗教特权。如果她跑掉，那就让她走吧。哪怕她威胁要自杀，你也不能屈从于她邪恶的要求。即便她真的自杀身亡了，看着她在死亡里沉寂，也好过允许她不仅谋杀自己的性命，也谋杀她丈夫的性命，且成为毁灭多人的工具。{16MR 308.1}[23]
§48
There are but few men strong enough to resist, day after day, week after week, such a will as that of Sister Craig, and she can create a scene whenever her will is crossed, or whenever the wicked one will play upon her, which is coming to be a common occurrence. But in this Brother Craig must let Satan rage, and not allow himself to be cut off from religious privileges because his wife desires it. If she runs away, let her go. Even if she threatens to take her own life, do not yield to her wicked demands. Even if she should carry out her threat, it would be better to look upon her silent in death than to allow her to murder not only her own soul but that of her husband, and be the means of destroying many others. {16MR 308.1}[23]
§49
克雷格弟兄，你因你妻子的暴力行为受了惊吓，但你要走真理、公义和智慧的直路，始终敬畏上帝。撒但已因他的成功而欢喜雀跃了。{16MR 308.2}[24]
§50
Brother Craig, you have been terrified by the violence of your wife, but the course for you to pursue is the straightforward path of truth, righteousness, and wisdom, having the fear of God always before you. Satan is already exulting over his success. {16MR 308.2}[24]
§51
克雷格姐妹：若不是因为你丈夫的生命和你的生命紧密相连，若不是因为你丈夫是上帝所拣选的仆人，我就不会提出这事。你们本不该结婚，但木已成舟，你丈夫现在要得胜，所下的工夫要比他如果从未遇见你大上十倍。你愿意认真地思考这个问题吗？你的行为是否摧毁了你丈夫的效能，致使他的人生一败涂地呢？我警告他，如果他赞美你或宠着你，就只会增加你的自满。你正在设法屈服他的意志和良心以讨你喜悦；你越被纵容，你的任性就变得越强硬越坚决。你打算怎么做呢？你要采取什么做法呢？{16MR 308.3}[25]
§52
Sister Craig, I would not present this matter as I do were there not another life so closely bound up with yours, and [were not] that the life of one whom God has chosen to be His servant. This marriage ought not to have been, but the step has been taken, and for your husband the work of overcoming is now tenfold more severe than if he had never seen you. Will you think seriously over this question, whether his usefulness shall be destroyed and his life become a failure because of your course? I warn him that if he praises or pets you, it will only increase your self-satisfaction. You are seeking to bend his will and conscience to your pleasure; and the more you are indulged, the stronger and more determined your self-will becomes. What do you propose to do? What course will you pursue? {16MR 308.3}[25]
§53
我蒙指示看到你以往生活的错误，又看到了你现在的状况。自始至终看到的都是你不明智的母亲不明智训练的必然结果，她不是一个切实行道的人。管教孩童是一项非常精细的工作，一项充满永恒责任的工作。你母亲的信仰生活已被她属世的精神和属世的交往损毁了。她虽有真理的知识，然而圣经原则对她生活和品格的影响却多么少啊！母亲的特性已经遗传给你，你比她更少经验也更少能力控制那些特性。{16MR 309.1}[26]
§54
I was presented with a view of the errors of your past life, and was brought down to the present time. All along are seen the sure results of the injudicious training of your unwise mother who was not a practical doer of the Word. The discipline of children is a very nice work, one freighted with eternal responsibilities. Your mothers religious life has been marred by her worldly spirit and worldly associations. She has had a knowledge of the truth, but how little influence have Bible principles had upon her life and character! The mothers characteristics have been transmitted to you, who have less experience and less power to control them than she had. {16MR 309.1}[26]
§55
你有一种像花岗岩一样坚硬的意志，有一堆错误的想法——错误的人生观，对你丈夫、你自己、你不能使其将自己的意志屈服于你的意志的每一个人的错误看法。你非但没有成为一个端庄的、敬畏上帝的、谦卑的女人，反而成了胆大妄为、严厉苛求、残暴专横的人。感谢上帝，你没有儿女重现你的特性。{16MR 309.2}[27]
§56
With a will like granite, you are a bundle of false ideas--false views of life, false views of your husband, of yourself, of everyone whose will you cannot bend to your own. Instead of being a modest, God-fearing, humble woman, you are bold, exacting, tyrannical. Thank God, you have no children to reproduce your characteristics. {16MR 309.2}[27]
§57
你母亲需要在上帝面前悔改她在给你的教育和训练方面对上帝话语的漠视。你是主家庭的一个年幼成员，难道她不知道她所给你的品格模式使你没有资格成为主天上家庭的一员吗？难道她不知道她的娇纵在鼓励一种会企图统治或毁灭凡与它接触之人的意志吗？难道她不知道在她手下形成的品格是在预备她的女儿漠视别人的心愿并羞辱上帝，随从她自己不圣洁意志的冲动吗？{16MR 309.3}[28]
§58
Your mother needs to repent before God of her disregard of His word in the education and training she has given you. Did she not know that the mold of character she was giving you, one of the younger members of the Lords family, was disqualifying you to become a member of the Lords family in heaven? Did she not know that by her indulgence she was encouraging a will that would attempt to rule or ruin all who came in contact with it? Did she not know that the character forming under her hands was preparing her daughter to disregard the wishes of others and to dishonor God, to follow the impulse of her own unsanctified will? {16MR 309.3}[28]
§59
我要本着敬畏上帝的心对那位母亲说几句。要把你所宠爱所娇纵的那个任性的孩子带回你自己的家。我永远无法向你形容你的行为多么得罪上帝，就是你在自己的孩子身上形成的品格会毁了上帝所爱的、声称是祂管家的一个男人的一生。你在对待她的事上已经犯了大错，你应该是担负她扭曲品格的重担的人。你所疏忽的一切职责上帝都记在祂的案卷里了，你必须再次面对它。你的女儿是得罪上帝的，因为她在侮辱祂，她的做法如果继续下去，就必毁了她自己的灵魂，还会将她的丈夫拖到与她一样低劣的水平。她的影响会阻碍凡与她接触之人灵性的进步。{16MR 310.1}[29]
§60
In the fear of God I would address a few words to the mother. Take to your own home the wayward child you have petted and indulged. I can never describe to you how offensive to God is your work in the formation in your child of a character that will ruin the life of a man whom God loves, whom God claims as His steward. You have made a great mistake in dealing with her, and you should be the one to carry the burden of her distorted character. All your neglected duty God has recorded in His book, and you must meet it again. Your daughter is an offense to God, for she is insulting Him by a course of action that, if continued, must ruin her own soul, and that tends to drag her husband down to her low level. Her influence tends to hinder the spiritual advancement of all with whom she comes in contact. {16MR 310.1}[29]
§61
应当使父母们铭记他们要在教育和训练自己的儿女方面遵行上帝旨意的严肃责任。他们将自己的意愿和爱好撇在一边，本着敬畏上帝的心把握他们的工作，这是多么重要啊！{16MR 310.2}[30]
§62
Parents should be impressed with their solemn obligation to do Gods will in the education and training of their children. How important that they lay aside their own will and inclination and take hold of their work in the fear of God! {16MR 310.2}[30]
§63
克雷格姐妹，你在与你丈夫结婚时对他的期望是什么呢？难道你期望将管理的缰绳握在自己的手中，使他的意志与你那刚愎顽梗的意志一致吗？你的丈夫在他的婚姻生活中体验到多少安息、满足、平安和喜乐呢？只有很少的一点点。婚姻生活不都是浪漫；它有真实的困难和家庭的琐事。妻子切不可认为自己是一个玩偶，要得到照料，而要认为自己是一个女人，一个承担真实而不是虚构责任的人，并且过一种聪明的、体贴的生活，考虑到有别的事要想到而不是她自己。{16MR 310.3}[31]
§64
Sister Craig, what did you expect of your husband when you married him? Did you expect to take the reins of government in your own hands, and bring his will into harmony with that perverse, stubborn will of yours? How much rest, contentment, peace, and joy has your husband realized in his married life? But very little. Married life is not all romance; it has its real difficulties and its homely details. The wife must not consider herself a doll, to be tended, but a woman, one to put her shoulder under the real, not imaginary, burdens, and live an understanding, thoughtful life, considering that there are other things to be thought of than herself. {16MR 310.3}[31]
§65
难道你认为你丈夫发现你是上帝已指示我看到的你的样子不会失望吗？难道他与你结婚没有期待你会承担任何重担，分担任何困惑，操练任何舍己吗？难道他认为你会觉得没有任何义务控制自己，愉快、仁慈、宽容、运用常识吗？{16MR 310.4}[32]
§66
Do you think it is no disappointment to your husband that he finds you what God has shown me you are? Did he marry you with the expectation that you would bear no burdens, share no perplexities, exercise no self-denial? Did he think that you would feel under no obligation to control self, to be cheerful, kind, and forbearing, and to exercise common sense? {16MR 310.4}[32]
§67
现实生活存在阴影和悲愁。每一个人都会遭遇困难。撒但不断地活动要动摇每一个人的信心，摧毁他们的勇气和希望。你的丈夫有了一种可怕的觉悟，因为他已看到他已起誓要爱护珍惜直到死亡将你们分开的那个妻子的性情是什么样子的。他看到他与只关心她自己的人栓在一起。你想像出来的试炼，你制造出来的身体残疾，使前景看起来非常令人沮丧。你几乎没有实际生活和职责的任何知识。你对一种出于原则的生活几乎一无所知。你的世界里只知取悦自己。{16MR 311.1}[33]
§68
Real life has its shadows and its sorrows. To every soul troubles must come. Satan is constantly working to unsettle the faith and destroy the courage and hope of everyone. Your husband has had a horrible awakening as he has seen what is the nature of her whom he has vowed to love and cherish till death do you part. He sees himself fastened to one who cares for no one but herself. Your imaginary trials, your manufactured physical disabilities, make the outlook most discouraging. You have scarcely any knowledge of practical life and duty. A life of principle is almost unknown to you. Self-pleasing bounds your world. {16MR 311.1}[33]
§69
当上帝的恩典住在心里时，就会使人仪态文雅柔和，就不会有欺骗、虚饰、自我欣赏，不会轻率地与世俗人交往。就会在受人称赞时比被人责难时有大得多的痛苦感觉。应该总是想着基督为罪人而死，因为这会使人制服并驱逐每一点专爱自我、只顾自己、自我崇拜的残余。每一个爱上帝的人都会认真地、不断地学习祂的道，恳切祈祷。战兢的信徒不会成为属地的，体贴肉体的人，而会作为被囚而有指望的人转回保障（亚9:12）。{16MR 311.2}[34]
§70
When the grace of Christ dwells in the heart it will make the manners gentle and subdued. There will be no deception, no pretense, no self-admiration, no reckless association with worldlings. There will be a far greater sense of pain at praise than at censure. The thought that Christ has died for sinners should be ever present, for it will have a tendency to subdue and expel every vestige of self-love, of self-seeking, of idolatry of self. On the part of every soul that loves God there will be earnest, continuous study of His Word, and earnest prayer. Instead of being earthly, and carnally minded, the trembling believer will turn to the Stronghold as a prisoner of hope. {16MR 311.2}[34]
§71
我可怜的、软弱的、犯错的姐妹啊，我劝你接受正等着你索取的力量。你虽然感觉到上帝的灵在你心上运行，至今却仍对实际的宗教一无所知。心灵的生命像身体的生命一样，在很在程度上是受供养它的食物影响的。在基督和祂无比的爱里得享生命之粮的心灵会有纯正扎实的经验；而满足于这个世界及其习俗、谚语和行为的人，在今生必无价值，也必得不到来生。你的头脑几乎全神贯注于那些没有价值的事物，那些娱乐人心却不能使它有属灵力量的事物。在为你的灵魂付了赎金的基督面前，你显明自己不配让你的名字留在生命册上；因为你将你的心放在属地的事和属地的智慧上，这在上帝看是愚拙的。{16MR 311.3}[35]
§72
I entreat you, my poor, weak, erring sister, to accept the strength that is waiting your demand upon it. Though you have felt the movings of the Spirit of God on your heart, you know nothing as yet of practical religion. The life of the soul, like that of the body, is affected to a great degree by the food which sustains it. The soul that finds in Christ and His matchless love the Bread of life will have a sound, solid experience; but he who is satisfied with this world, its customs, its sayings, and its doings, will be worthless in this life, and will fail of gaining the future life. Your mind is almost wholly absorbed in those things that are of no value, those things that amuse the mind but give it no spiritual strength. Before Christ who paid the redemption money for your soul, you show yourself unworthy to have your name retained in the book of life; for you set your heart upon earthly things and that earthly wisdom which is foolishness with God. {16MR 311.3}[35]
§73
我的姐妹，你愿意好好看看自己没有价值的生活吗？不要以为你确实看了一眼，感到悲哀，然后就全忘了，继续做更糟糕的事就够了。你愿意看到你所敬拜的那些假神吗？“正直人祈祷，为祂所喜悦”（箴15:8），但那动摇不定的人不要想从主那里得什么。亲爱的孩子，你愿意使自己与世界分离，停止爱世界的交往吗？要将基督带进你一切的交往之中；然后暗昧有罪的心灵才会有耶稣之爱的篇章向其默想敞开。当你与基督有分时，祂的良善、祂的道路就成了你的，祂的意志就征服你的意志。你口中出来的话你现在以为聪明巧妙，可是，唉，它们令爱耶稣的心多么痛苦啊！如果在你说话时将你的话写出来，你就会看到废话、愚蠢的话、苦毒、忿怒、嫉妒、怨恨话语的大杂烩。节日、讲座、音乐会是你喜爱的食物，有一点点所谓的宗教混在其中调味。{16MR 312.1}[36]
§74
Will you, my sister, look well to your worthless life, and not think it sufficient when you do get a glance at it, to mourn over it and then forget all about it and go on doing worse than ever? Will you see the false gods at whose shrine you worship? The prayer of the upright is His delight, but the unstable shall not receive anything from the Lord. Will you, dear child, separate yourself from the world, and cease to love its society? Bring Christ into all your associations; then the dark, sinful soul will have chapters of the love of Jesus open to its contemplation. When you partake of Christ, His goodness, His way, become yours, His will subdues your will. The words that come from your lips now you think to be smart, but oh, how painful they are to the heart that loves Jesus! If they were written out as you speak them, you would see a medley of nonsense, of foolishness, of bitterness, wrath, envy, malice. Festivals, lectures, concerts are the food you relish, with a little so-called religion mixed in as flavor. {16MR 312.1}[36]
§75
你的生活给谁造福了呢？你在你主的葡萄园中是哪种工人呢？你在结出什么果子来荣耀上帝呢？{16MR 312.2}[37]
§76
Whom has your life blessed? What kind of worker are you in your Masters vineyard? What fruit are you bearing to the glory of God? {16MR 312.2}[37]
§77
在传道所必然会有许多人想要为上帝的工作接受教育。你丈夫的职位使初信的人和那些在传道所与他同工的人以为你是一个基督徒而不是你实际的样子——思想轻浮，没有信仰。你的影响会使人远离耶稣。因此你的榜样对传道所是有害的。你若不发生明确的改变，那么，你越快离开传道所，就越好，因为主不喜悦你。{16MR 313.1}[38]
§78
There will necessarily be many who want to receive in the mission an education for the work of God. Your husbands position leads the new ones in the faith, and those who are connected with him in the mission, to suppose you to be a Christian, and not the frivolous-minded, irreligious person you are. Your influence is such as will lead souls away from Jesus. Therefore your example is a detriment to the mission. If there is not a decided change in you, the sooner you are separated from the mission the better, for the Lord is not pleased with you. {16MR 313.1}[38]
§79
你丈夫的个性不应泯灭在你的里面。将丈夫和妻子结合在一起的婚姻誓约不应违背，但他对他的主也有誓约，要全心爱祂，专心爱祂。“你要尽心、尽性、尽力、尽意爱主你的上帝；……你这样行，就必得永生”（路10:27,28）。他的本分是置身于能尽心、尽性、尽意、尽力尊敬上帝之处，即使他绝不会再见到你的脸。你没完没了地谈论低劣、属地、属肉体的事，你易怒情绪的爆发，不断在造成一种占用他思想的局面，使他的心转离上帝，并使他没有资格从事他的工作。{16MR 313.2}[39]
§80
Your husband should not merge his identity in you. The marriage vow that binds the husband to the wife must remain unbroken, but he has vows to his Lord, to love Him with the whole heart, the undivided affection. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; . . . This do, and thou shalt live. It is his duty to place himself where he can honor God with mind, soul, body, and spirit, even if he never looks upon your face again. By your endless talk of cheap, earthly, carnal things, and your outbursts of passion, you are constantly creating a condition of things that tends to absorb his thoughts, to divert his mind from God, and to disqualify him for his work. {16MR 313.2}[39]
§81
他有一个责任摆在他面前——通过献身于上帝圣工的某方面工作来保守他自己不至被迫降到你的水平。他在最高的意义上属于创造主；耶稣已用祂自己的血买了他，并且要求他在祂已让他去做的工作中与祂完全联合。你的影响若是介入他和主之间，他就应该将你放在你会尽量少阻碍他的地方。他切不可允许你损坏他的效用，将你属肉体的、属地的愚昧与他一切的经验联合起来。{16MR 313.3}[40]
§82
He has one duty before him--to preserve himself from being compelled to come to your level, by giving himself to some branch of the work of God. He belongs to the Creator in the highest sense; Jesus has bought him with His own blood, and requires him to be wholly united with Him in the work He has for him to do. If your influence interposes between him and the Lord, he could [should?] place you in a position where you will be as little hindrance to him as possible. He must not allow you to spoil his usefulness by mingling your carnal, earthly foolishness with all his experience. {16MR 313.3}[40]
§83
我的姐妹，你可以藉着你丈夫的影响得到改善；然而你若不这样，他就肯定会被包围着你生活的那种氛围所阻碍。他在不断地呼吸这种空气的时候多么难以完善虔诚的品格啊！当有你陪伴时，他多么难以提升他的心灵到纯洁、属灵的思想啊！多么难以记住富有成效的默想题目啊！他多么经常地茫然不知应该对你采取什么做法啊！你对他是一块绊脚石，无论他看到与否。{16MR 314.1}[41]
§84
You can, my sister, be made better by your husbands influence; but if you are not, he will most assuredly be hindered by the atmosphere that surrounds your life. How difficult for him to perfect a religious character while constantly breathing this atmosphere! How hard for him when in your company to elevate his soul to pure, spiritual thoughts! How difficult to keep in mind fruitful subjects of meditation! How often he is perplexed to know just what course he should pursue toward you! You are a stumbling block to him, whether he sees it or not. {16MR 314.1}[41]
§85
鉴察人心的上帝注意人心的愿望。你现在若是愿意悔改并寻求祂的恩典，以便为祂而活而且只为祂而活，祂就必赦免你以往轻浮的生活、你的虚假和你的欺骗。“耶和华是看内心”（撒上16:7）。“祂思念我们不过是尘土”（诗103:14）。“我必使灾祸临到这百姓，就是他们意念所结的果子；因为他们不听从我的言语，至于我的训诲（或作：律法），他们也厌弃了”（耶6:19）。这不必成为你的情况，然而你若不改弦更张，就必这样。{16MR 314.2}[42]
§86
God, who searches the heart, takes notice of its desires. He will forgive your past life of frivolity, your pretense, your deception, if you will now repent and seek His grace, that you may live unto Him and Him alone. The Lord looketh upon the heart. He remembereth that we are dust. I will bring evil upon this people, even the fruit of their own thoughts, because they have not hearkened unto My words, nor to My law, but rejected it. This need not be your case, but it will be unless you turn square about. {16MR 314.2}[42]
§87
你自己无法做出这种改变，只有耶稣才能做到，你若祈求祂并且使自己完全顺服祂，不求你自己的意思而求上帝的意思，不再设法取悦自己而是教育自己要作有用的人，主就必使你做出这种改变。你的时间很宝贵，应当用来追求积攒财宝在天上。你必须忘记你心爱的自我。不要再过取悦自己的生活，而要取悦上帝。{16MR 314.3}[43]
§88
You cannot make this change yourself, but Jesus can, and will do this if you ask Him and submit yourself wholly to Him, not seeking your own will but Gods will, no longer trying to please self but educating yourself to be useful. Your time is golden and should be spent in seeking to lay up a treasure in the heavens. You must forget your darling self. Live no longer to please yourself, but to please God. {16MR 314.3}[43]
§89
然而你若不愿这么做，你的丈夫就必须记住他是上帝的产业，是基督的血所买来的。主有一项工作要他去做，仇敌若是藉着你行事以阻碍主的旨意，你的丈夫就只有一个方针可采取——前去工作而摆脱你的影响，将他自己完全献给上帝。他若这知做，就会靠着基督的恩典拯救自己的灵魂，通过这种做法还可能拯救你的灵魂。然而他现在并没有在做上帝要求他去做的工作。他不应该藉着他的钱财或同意来纵容你不圣洁的欲望，而应该约束那些欲望。{16MR 314.4}[44]
§90
But if you will not do this, then your husband must remember that he is Gods property, the purchase of the blood of Christ. The Lord has a work for him to do, and if the enemy works through you to thwart His purpose, there is but one course for him to take--to go forth to his work independent of your influence, and give himself wholly to God. If he does this, he will, through the grace of Christ, save his own soul, and through this course may be the means of saving your soul. But he is not now doing the work which God requires him to do. He is not to indulge your unconsecrated desires by his means or consent, but should restrain them. {16MR 314.4}[44]
§91
我的姐妹啊，永生对你来说有什么价值吗？如果有，你就应该将此表明出来。你因自己的缺陷而应感到的谦卑在哪里呢？我们是真基督徒的惟一真实明确的证据就是，我们既是活葡萄树上的枝子并从耶稣得到营养，就结出果子来，就是来自圣灵的芳香的果子。于是我们就会有一种美好的品格，一颗善良无私的心。我们的言语、我们的行为、我们的思想都不断地作见证，证明我们是那棵又真又活的葡萄树上的枝子。没有推测；神圣的证书是明显的，证明我们是在基督里面，基督也在我们里面。{16MR 315.1}[45]
§92
My sister, is eternal life of any value to you? If so, you should make this manifest. Where is the humility you should feel because of your deficiencies? The only real, unequivocal proof that we are true Christians, is that, being branches of the living Vine and deriving our nutriment from Jesus, we bear fruit, fragrant fruit, of which the Spirit is the source. Then we shall have a beautiful character, a good, unselfish heart. Our words, our actions, our very thoughts will bear a continual testimony that we are branches of the true and living Vine. There is not conjecture; the divine credentials are manifest, testifying that we are in Christ and Christ in us. {16MR 315.1}[45]
§93
我的姐妹，你的精神如果与基督的精神和谐一致，你就不会向你丈夫的心暗示一句嫉妒或怀疑的话，就不会有邪恶的思想发芽生长结出果子来导致你和他与圣工分离。“凡属我不结果子的枝子，祂就剪去；凡结果子的，祂就修理干净，使枝子结果子更多”（约15:2）。你要在为时太晚之前全心寻求主。（《信函》1890年34号）怀爱伦著作托管委员会1987年1月全文发表于美国首都华盛顿。{16MR 315.2}[46]
§94
If your spirit, my sister, were in harmony with that of Christ, you would not suggest one word of envy or suspicion to your husbands mind. No thought of evil would germinate and spring up to bear fruit and result in separating you and him from the work. Every branch in Me that beareth not fruit He taketh away, and every branch that beareth fruit, He purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. Seek the Lord with all your heart before it shall be too late.--Letter 34, 1890. Ellen G. White Estate Washington, D.C. January, 1987. Entire Letter. {16MR 315.2}[46]