第19章 父母的责任
§1
第19章 父母的责任
§2
Chap. 19 - Responsibilities of Parenthood
§3
（关于家庭、子女和家的价值，怀爱伦曾有过许多美妙的论述。她完全意识到了它们的重要性。与此同时,她也意识到打算结婚的青年应当通盘考虑有关生养子女、将之抚养成为上帝和父母所希望他们成为之样式的一切事。）{DG201.1}[1]
§4
ELLEN WHITE MADE MANY BEAUTIFUL STATEMENTS REGARDING THE VALUE OF THE FAMILY, CHILDREN, AND THE HOME. SHE FULLY RECOGNIZED THEIR IMPORTANCE. AT THE SAME TIME SHE ALSO RECOGNIZED THAT YOUNG PEOPLE CONTEMPLATING MARRIAGE SHOULD TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION ALL THAT IS INVOLVED IN HAVING CHILDREN AND REARING THEM TO BECOME ALL THAT GOD AND THE PARENTS WOULD LIKE THEM TO BE. {DG 201.1}[1]
§5
关于父母责任的勉言——负父母之责的人，应当首先考虑是否能以适当的影响环绕自己的儿女。家既是一个家庭教会也是一所家庭学校。家中应该有属灵的氛围，以致家中的成员，无论是父母还是儿女，都会因彼此的交往而蒙福得力。……{DG201.2}[2]
§6
Counsel Regarding Becoming Parents--Those who assume the responsibilities of parenthood should first consider whether they will be able to surround their children with proper influences. The home is both a family church and a family school. The atmosphere of the home should be so spiritual that all the members of the family, parents and children, will be blessed and strengthened by their association with one another. . . . {DG 201.2}[2]
§7
但是许多结婚成家的人没能认识到母亲身份所带来的全部神圣责任。许多人可悲地缺乏管教的能力。在许多家庭中，只有很少的纪律，孩子们竟蒙允许任意而行。这样的孩子放任自流，家中没有人能给他们正确的指导，没有人能机智地教导他们如何帮助父母，没有人能适当地奠定他们将来教育的根基。被这些不利条件包围的孩童，确实可怜。若不给他们机会在家庭之外受到适当的训练，他们就会得不到每一个孩子本应享有的许多特权。这就是一直呈现在我面前的亮光。{DG201.3}[3]
§8
Many who enter the marriage relation fail of realizing all the sacred responsibilities that motherhood brings. Many are sadly lacking in disciplinary power. In many homes there is but little discipline, and the children are allowed to do as they please. Such children drift hither and thither; there is nobody in the home capable of guiding them aright, nobody who with wise tact can teach them how to help father and mother, nobody who can properly lay the foundation thatshould underlie their future education. Children who are surrounded by these unfortunate conditions are indeed to be pitied. If not afforded an opportunity for proper training outside the home, they are debarred from many privileges that, by right, every child should enjoy. This is the light that has been presented to me. {DG 201.3}[3]
§9
那些没有能力正确训练自己儿女的人，原本绝不应当负起为人父母的责任。但是由于他们错误的判断，我们就要不做任何努力去帮助他们的幼童形成正确的品格吗？上帝希望我们明智地处理这些问题。--3SM214,215(1904).{DG202.1}[4]
§10
Those who are unable to train their children aright, should never have assumed the responsibilities of parents. But because of their mistaken judgment, shall we make no effort to help their little ones to form right characters? God desires us to deal with these problems sensibly.--3SM 214, 215 (1904).{DG 202.1}[4]
§11
注意履行父母的职责--父母需要考虑这一点，明白照顾和教育儿童的基本原则，在德、智、体的健康方面培养他们。父母要研究自然的定例，了解人体组织，明白各器官的功能，及其彼此之间的关系和依赖。要研究智力与体力的关系，以及各自健康运作所要求的条件。若没有这样的准备就担负起父母的责任乃是罪。--MH380(1905).{DG202.2}[5]
§12
Be Careful in Assuming Responsibility of Parenthood.--They [ parents] should understand the principles that underlie the care and training of children. They should be capable of rearing them in physical, mental, and moral health. Parents should study the laws of nature. They should become acquainted with the organism of the human body. They need to understand the functions of the various organs, and their relation and dependence. They should study the relation of the mental to the physical powers, and the conditions required for the healthy action of each. To assume the responsibilities of parenthood without such preparation is a sin.--MH 380 (1905).{DG 202.2}[5]
§13
妇女在祂的工作中应使用上帝所赐的能力——有多人来信询问我有关此问题的建议，就是传道人的妻子应收养婴儿吗？我会建议她们做此项工作吗？对于一些很喜欢做这事的人，我回答说“不”；上帝希望你能在你丈夫的工作上帮助他。主没有让你们有自己的孩子；祂的智慧是毋庸置疑的。祂知道什么是最好的。要作为一名基督的工人将你的能力奉献给上帝。你可以多方帮助你的丈夫。{DG202.3}[6]
§14
Women to Use God-given Abilities in His Work.--Letters have come to me from several, asking my advice upon the question, Should ministers wives adopt infant children? Would I advise them to do this kind of work? To some who were regarding this matter favorably, I answered, No; God would have you help your husband in his work. The Lord has not given you children of your own; His wisdom is not to be questioned. He knows what is best. Consecrate your powers to God as a Christian worker. You can help your husband in many ways. {DG 202.3}[6]
§15
你可以通过为他工作、通过使你的智慧持续增长而在他的工作上支持他。借着使用上帝所赐你的能力，你可以成为一个持家的人。不仅如此，你还可以帮助传扬信息。{DG202.4}[7]
§16
You can support him in his work by working for him, by keeping your intellect improved. By using the ability God has given you, you can be a homekeeper. And more than this, you can help to give the message. {DG 202.4}[7]
§17
应该有女性参加传福音的工作。她们在许多方面可以比忽视探访上帝群羊的传道人做更好的工作。只要可能，夫妻就应联合做这项工作。道路已为献身的妇女敞开了。但是仇敌会很乐于看到那些本可以帮助数百人的妇女把她们的时间和精力放在一个无助的小生灵上，那是需要不断照顾和关心的。--5MR325,326(1898).{DG202.5}[8]
§18
There are women who should labor in the gospel ministry. In many respects they would do more good than the ministers who neglect to visit the flock of God. Husband and wife may unite in this work, and when it is possible, they should. The way is open for consecratedwomen. But the enemy would be pleased to have the women whom God could use to help hundreds, binding up their time and strength on one helpless little mortal, that requires constant care and attention.--5MR 325, 326 (1898).{DG 202.5}[8]
§19
【品格的特征会遗传给孩子】
§20
（以下的劝勉是于1888年写给E.P.丹尼尔斯长老和夫人的，论到他们子女的教育问题。丹尼尔斯长老是一位卓越的传道士，然而他的子女却成了大家议论的对象。怀爱伦感到有责任再次提醒丹尼尔斯长老夫妇，他们并没有存敬畏上帝的心教养他们的子女。不要把E.P.丹尼尔斯和A.G.丹尼尔斯混淆起来。）{DG203.1}[9]
§21
【Traits of Character Are Passed Along in Children】
§22
THE FOLLOWING COUNSEL WAS GIVEN TO ELDER AND MRS. E. P. DANIELS IN 1888 REGARDING THE TRAINING OF THEIR CHILDREN. ELDER DANIELS WAS A PROMINENT MINISTER AND HIS CHILDREN WERE AN ITEM FOR DISCUSSION. ELLEN WHITE FELT IT HER DUTY TO AGAIN REMIND ELDER AND MRS. DANIELS THAT THEY WERE NOT BRINGING UP THEIR CHILDREN IN THE FEAR OF GOD. E. P. DANIELS IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH A. G. DANIELLS. {DG 203.1}[9]
§23
多年以来曾有许多关于节约和智慧地使用金钱的证言可供遵循，然而你和你的妻子都没有在你们的实际生活中做出明确的改变。你们喜爱炫耀；你们喜爱放纵食欲；你们喜爱满足你的口味。在你们自己身上表现出来的特性也在你们子女的身上重现出来。你们必收割你们所种的。你的工资永远不足以支持你们奢侈浪费的习惯。你为何不象那些工资比你还少的弟兄们学习如何能用很少的钱去充足地供养自己和家庭呢？你处于目前难堪境地的原因并不是因为你的工资不够维持你作为一个基督徒的生活，而是因为你们没有以合适的方式管理你们的钱财，使你们脱离这种拮据。你们就算每周挣到二十美元，还会抱怨不够花。{DG203.2}[10]
§24
For years testimonies have followed you upon the subject of economy and the wise expenditure of means, but neither you nor your wife has made decided changes in your practices. You love display; you love indulgence of appetite; you love to gratify your taste. The same traits of character shown in yourself are reproduced in your children, and you will reap that which you have sown. There never can be sufficient means granted you for your labors to sustain you in your indulgence in extravagant, spendthrift habits. Why do you not learn from those brethren who comfortably support themselves and their families on less money than you receive for your labors? The reason that you are in embarrassed circumstances is not because your wages are not enough to support you as a Christian, but [because] you do not manage your means in such a way as to keep you from embarrassment. If you had twenty dollars a week, you would still complain of financial pressure.{DG 203.2}[10]
§25
在希尔兹堡主借着你工作，并不是因为你是完全的，而是祂不计较你的不完全。你把自我参杂在工作中。当你意识到上帝的灵和能力在与人同工时，要是你谦卑了自己，要是你谨慎而温柔地行在上帝面前，认识到自己的不配与祂的仁慈，你在希尔兹堡所能留下的影响原会比现在好得多。你把所有经济上的窘迫都归咎于环境。{DG203.3}[11]
§26
In Healdsburg the Lord wrought through you, not because you were perfect, but in spite of your imperfections. Self was mingled with your work. When you realized that the spirit and power of God were working with the people, if you had humbled yourself, if you had walked carefully and tenderly before God, feeling your unworthiness and His goodness, the influence you left in Healdsburg would have been far better than it now is. You charge all your financial embarrassment to circumstances.{DG 203.3}[11]
§27
针对父母教育子女一事你能说得很好。在主里我所爱、所尊敬的你的妻子也常就这个主题发表很出色的讲论。但是你们的做法与你们讲论的美好原则相矛盾。她没有实践她自己的教导。当别人看到你们的习惯及你们在家中的表现时，他们感到困惑并厌烦。你们没有把你们的孩子培养成有用的人，没有实践克己并遵守主的道。你们为何在宗旨上如此不坚定，在行为上如此无力，在原则上如此摇摆不定，信心如此软弱呢？{DG203.4}[12]
§28
You can talk well in regard to parents training their children.Your wife, whom I love and respect in the Lord, would make an excellent lecturer upon this subject. But your practice contradicts the excellent principles that you have presented. She does not practice her own teachings. When your customs are seen and your home life practices revealed, the people become confused and disgusted. You do not train your children for usefulness, to practice self-denial, and to keep the way of the Lord. Why are you so irresolute in purpose, so feeble in action, so vacillating in principle, so weak in faith?{DG 203.4}[12]
§29
这些事对于那些有机会熟悉你们在讲台上和在家中状况的人来说，是很难理解的。丹尼尔斯长老，他们某一天看见你很刚强自信，另一天看见你却完全不同。你强烈肯定的事情与你前一天所强烈肯定的事恰恰相反。……{DG204.1}[13]
§30
These things are a mystery to those who have an opportunity to become acquainted with you in the pulpit and at home. Elder Daniels, they see you one day strong and self-assured; next day they see in you a complete change. You affirm strongly things exactly opposite to what you affirmed as strongly the day before. . . .{DG 204.1}[13]
§31
当我蒙指示看到你需要在教育及培养你的子女上做出很大的改进时，我充满了难以言表的痛苦，因为我看到你没有在为你子女谋求最佳利益上尽责。你没有以正确的原则管理你的生活,所以你需要上帝的灵在你自己心中工作。如果你做上帝看为正的事，你就不应该象以前那样对待你的孩子，你也不应该在管理他们上树立这样的榜样。你要少依靠自己，多依靠耶稣。你如果与上帝紧密联合，就会智慧地管教你的孩子。{DG204.2}[14]
§32
When I was shown the great need of reform in the education and training of your children, I was filled with pain that I cannot express, because I saw that you did not act your part in bringing about the best good of your children. You need the work of the Spirit of God in your own heart, for right principles are not governing your life. If you were right with God, you would not be doing as you have been doing in reference to your children; you would not present such an example as you have in their management. You should depend far less upon self and far more upon Jesus. If you were closely connected with God, you would rule your children wisely.{DG 204.2}[14]
§33
祖娥（丹尼尔斯的女儿）很任性；她缺乏正确方向的经验；她需要指导与约束，而非放纵和奉承。如果你有分辨力，如果你的心被真理成圣的能力所充满，在她是否去斯奈尔神学院一事上就不需要任何建议了。如果有人问起你有关别人家的女儿，你就会知道做父母的在教育孩子上应该采取什么方针。你已经在祖娥的得救之路上放置了障碍，因为你们自己为她选择了与虚荣、骄傲和不信为伍。…….{DG204.3}[15]
§34
Zua [Daniels daughter] is impulsive; she lacks experience in the right direction; she needs to be guided and restrained instead of being indulged and flattered. If you were discerning, if your souls were imbued with the sanctifying power of the truth, you would need no advice in regard to her attending Snells Seminary. If you were asked concerning the daughter of another, you would know just what course parents should pursue in relation to the education of their child. You have placed barriers in the way of Zuas salvation, for you have yourselves chosen as her associates the vain, the proud, the unbelieving. . . .{DG 204.3}[15]
§35
丹尼尔斯姐妹，当你帮助你女儿在她的衣服和花销上欺骗她爸爸时，……你并没有尽到你作母亲的神圣职责。你们都被骗了，并在教育你们子女的事上抱有错误的观念。你必须被基督的恩典彻底改变，使你可以言传身教地教导你的儿女善道及正路。祖娥充满了伪装和欺骗。她几乎在她所有的学业上都是很肤浅的。她的学校生活只改善了她的外表，但是她的心却未被更新，因为她不爱上帝，也不爱与基督徒交往。她列在仇敌的行列中，如果她今天死去，她是不会进天国的。{DG204.4}[16]
§36
Sister Daniels, you have not met your solemn responsibilities as a mother . . . [when you have] aided your daughter to deceive her father in regard to her dress and expenditures. Both of you have beendeceived and carried away with false ideas in regard to the training of your children. You must be thoroughly transformed by the grace of Christ, so that you can teach your children, by precept and example, the good and right way. Zua is full of affectation and deception. She is superficial in nearly all her attainments. Her school life has given her an outside polish, but her heart is unrenewed, for she has no love for God, no love for the society of Christians. She is in the ranks of the enemy, and should she die today she would not enter the kingdom of heaven. {DG 204.4}[16]
§37
保罗（儿子）也一样糟糕。你的小女儿远没有可爱的品格。你自己所受的教育在各方面都是有缺陷的。愿主怜悯你们，使你和你儿女的灵魂不致丧亡。……{DG205.1}[17]
§38
Paul [the son] is in no better condition, and your youngest girl is far from having a lovely character. Your own training is in every way defective. May the Lord have mercy on you all, that you may not lose your soul and the souls of your children. . . .{DG 205.1}[17]
§39
保罗是一个有优点的男孩，然而在他身上也有讨厌的特性，没有受到约束，反而获得培养和放纵。你没有告诉他阴郁固执的性情是有罪的，并坚决地抑制这种罪的滋长。就连他的面部表情都留下了你纵容的痕迹。年轻时所得的印象是最持久的。早年的生活是培养正确习惯的最佳时期。{DG205.2}[18]
§40
Paul is a boy who has good qualities as well as objectionable traits of character that have been cultivated and indulged rather than restrained. You have not taught him the sinfulness of a sullen, stubborn disposition and firmly restrained this growing evil. Even in the expression of his countenance your indulgence is leaving its mold. The impressions made in youth are most abiding, and early life is the best time to cultivate correct habits.{DG 205.2}[18]
§41
保罗一直受到纵容而在饮食上苛求而挑剔。然而你应该把食物放在他面前，不允许他因不喜欢而不屑地离开，去要那些你没有预备的食物。他会抱着他饮食上挑剔的习惯，直到他变得讨厌自己和与自己有关的一切事物。他若被迫做力所能及的工作，饥饿就会使他对食物有胃口并除去他的怨言。你在此事上应采取明确的措施。我爱你的儿子。他可以在善道上得到塑造。如果得到正确的教育，过了一段时间他会回应的。……{DG205.3}[19]
§42
Paul has been encouraged to be exacting and particular in his diet, but you should set the food before him and never allow him to turn from it in disdain, calling for something that you have not provided. He may cherish his exacting habits in regard to his diet until he shall be disagreeable to himself and all connected with him. If he were obliged to labor according to his strength, hunger would give him a relish for his food and remove his murmuring. Decided measures should be taken in this matter. I love this son of yours; he can be molded in the right way, for, if properly trained, he will respond after a time. . . .{DG 205.3}[19]
§43
要让你儿子做些事情。要教导他勤劳。他天性不爱干活；他喜欢懒惰并设法逃避责任。如果你希望你的孩子能造福于你，就要教导他们成为有用的人并要克己。要限制他们的阅读。不要允许他们迷恋小说或是充满情欲和流氓无赖行为的故事书，因为那不会在他们的思想中留下属天的影响。他们还小，没有经验，会成为你所塑造的样子。所有这样的阅读习惯会将建造善良坚定品格的美德原则连根拔起。阅读小说就如吸毒一样，迟早会显出其苦果来。{DG205.4}[20]
§44
Give your boy something to do. Teach him to be industrious. He has naturally no love for work; he loves indolence and seeks to shirk responsibility. If you want your children to bless you, teach them to be useful and self-denying. Restrict their reading. They should not be allowed to pore over the pages of novels or story books filled with the tales of lust and knavery, for it will not leave a heavenly influence ontheir minds. They are young and inexperienced and will be just what you make them. All such habits of reading will cut up by the roots the principles of virtue which enter into the formation of a good, firm character. Novel reading is like taking poison and will sooner or later reveal its bitter results.{DG 205.4}[20]
§45
你子女品格上或善或恶的标记不是写在沙子上的，而是记录在恒久的岩石上的。要当心他们的同伴，因为他们从同伴那里学来的言语和习惯足以塑造他们日后的生活。你儿女的友伴、他们所采用的原则、所养成的习惯，几乎毫无疑问地会决定他们将来的命运。{DG206.1}[21]
§46
The mark for good or evil made upon the characters of your children is not written in the sand, but is traced as on enduring rock. Their associations will have to be guarded, for what is learned from the words and habits of their companions will mold the whole after-life. The company your children keep, the principles they now adopt, [and] the habits they now form are settling the destiny of their future with an almost infallible certainty. {DG 206.1}[21]
§47
到现在为止，我对你所说的没有留下持久的印象，但是你现在愿意有所改变吗？如果你不愿意，我唯恐你会离开信仰。……{DG206.2}[22]
§48
Heretofore, what I have said to you has left no lasting impression, but will you not now become a different man? If you do not, I greatly fear that you will depart from the faith. . . .{DG 206.2}[22]
§49
愿主让你清晰地看到耶稣，使你的心灵被他吸引。我把这些简明的话交给你们二人，为要告诉你们，你们一半的效能都会被你们的缺陷所抵消，你们能够也必须胜过这些缺陷。要为永恒而做彻底的工作，就像在上帝眼前一样。{DG206.3}[23]
§50
May the Lord give you such clear views of Jesus that your soul will be enraptured. I commit these plain words to you both, to tell you that one-half your usefulness is counteracted by defects that you can and must overcome. Make thorough work for eternity, as in the sight of God.{DG 206.3}[23]
§51
丹尼尔斯长老，我对你说实话因为我是你的朋友。你参与了神圣的工作，是基督的大使，我不希望你失败，反而能充分见证你的传道工作。我的弟兄，要多祈求，少说话。祈求上帝能赐你完成任何工作所必需的智慧和勇气。要在上帝面前说：“我愿单单仰望祢的荣耀，尽我的本分。”--Letter10,1888.{DG206.4}[24]
§52
Elder Daniels, I am your friend because I tell you the truth. You are engaged in a solemn work, and as an ambassador of Christ, I desire that you should make no failure, but give full proof of your ministry. Pray much, my brother; talk less. Pray that you may be endowed with wisdom and courage necessary to accomplish the work, whatever it may be. Say before God, I will do my duty with an eye single to Thy glory.--Letter 10, 1888.{DG 206.4}[24]
§53
【要教导孩子建立良好的习惯】
§54
（于1902年3月19日写给玛丽·纳尔逊，针对她孩子的教育和发展提出建议。）{DG206.5}[25]
§55
【Teach Children to Form Good Habits】
§56
WRITTEN TO MARY NELSON ON MARCH 19, 1902, GIVING COUNSEL ON THE EDUCATION AND DEVELOPMENT OF HER CHILDREN. {DG 206.5}[25]
§57
亲爱的玛丽·纳尔逊姐妹：作为一名基督徒，你有应尽却未尽的责任。你并没有给予你孩子所需的教育。你的性情使你没有按照上帝的形像塑造他们的品格。你非常需要使你的脾气温柔起来，象你丈夫一样。要完全胜过你刺耳的声音和你好争吵的性情。你虽然为人母，却没有学会自制的功课。你需要培养品格可爱的特质。你能够也应该培养温柔的性情。不要拖延，因为你的习惯正在定型。{DG206.6}[26]
§58
Dear Sister Mary Nelson: As a Christian, you have duties to do that are left undone. You are not giving your children the education that they need. Your disposition is such that you are not molding and fashioning their characters after the divine similitude. You are in as much need of having your temper sweetened as is your husband.Your harshness of voice and your disagreeable disposition should be entirely overcome. Although a mother, you have not been learning lessons of self-control. You should cultivate pleasing traits of character. You may and should cultivate sweetness of disposition. Do not delay; for your habits are becoming fixed.{DG 206.6}[26]
§59
你管教，却不是出于爱。你儿女所接受的是何等令人不愉快的教育啊！你不应该用你现在所用的方法来养育主家中的幼小成员。{DG207.1}[27]
§60
You rule, but not in love. What an objectionable education your children are receiving! It is not right for you to bring up the younger members of the Lords family as you are bringing up your children.{DG 207.1}[27]
§61
你应该教导你的孩子养成良好的习惯。你希望因你忽略培养他们清洁和秩序的习惯而破坏他们将来的效能吗？你不愿耐心地教导并协助他们使其房间和衣物常常保持井然有序吗？{DG207.2}[28]
§62
You should teach your children to form good habits. Will you spoil them for future usefulness by neglecting to train them as you should in habits of cleanliness and order? Will you not patiently teach and assist them always to keep their rooms and their clothing in order?{DG 207.2}[28]
§63
急躁与训斥无助于改变你的孩子。在管理他们时，你应该坚定，但要有仁慈与之融合。要殷勤地教导他们如何成为基督徒。决不可在发怒时提高声调，决不可在愤怒中打孩子一下；因为这样纠正他们的错误之时反而会使他们坚持其错误行径。要记住他们乃是继承了他们父母的性情。你目前在你孩子身上所遇到的乃是你自己品格中的缺陷。要记住你若说话严厉，你就是在给他树立榜样让他学习效仿。迟早他们会以同样严厉的态度对待你，正如你对待他们一样，因为在家庭生活中你给他们树立了错误的榜样。{DG207.3}[29]
§64
Fretting and scolding will not help to reform your children. In governing them, you should exercise firmness; but with this, kindness should be mingled. Diligently teach them how to be Christians. Never raise your voice in passion; never strike a blow in anger; for this, in the place of correcting their faults, will confirm them in a wrong course. Remember that they have inherited their parents dispositions. You have now to meet in your children your own defects of character. Remember that if you speak harshly, you are giving them an example that they will learn to imitate. Sooner or later they will act toward you in the same harsh manner in which you have acted toward them, because in the home life you have set before them a wrong example.{DG 207.3}[29]
§65
你现在岂不应负担起你忽略的责任，尽力取悦你的丈夫并正确地教导你的儿女吗？我的姐妹，你所能做的最好的事就是向你丈夫和孩子承认你的错误。告诉孩子们你所培养的严厉与粗暴的精神不是基督的精神。然后说：“孩子们，借着基督赐给我们的力量和恩典，我们现在要彻底改变。”要请求他们帮助你。你也要答应他们你必会帮助他们。{DG207.4}[30]
§66
Is it not time for you to take up your neglected duties, and try to please your husband and to train your children aright? My sister, the best thing you can do is to confess your mistakes to your husband and to your children. Tell the children that the harsh, rough spirit which you have cultivated is un-Christlike. Then say, Children, by the strength and grace that Christ gives us, we will now make a decided change. Ask them to help you. Promise that you will help them.{DG 207.4}[30]
§67
基督乐意教导父母成为真正的教育家。凡在祂门下学习的人决不会在盛怒时打孩子。他们决不会说严厉无情的话；因为这种话会刺激耳朵，摧毁精神，伤害心灵，使听见的儿童无法抑制自己的脾气。儿童对父母说不恭敬的话，原因往往就在这里。{DG207.5}[31]
§68
Christ is ready to teach the father and the mother to be true educators. Those who learn in His school will never strike a child in passion. They will never speak in a harsh, unsympathetic tone; for words spoken in this manner grate upon the ear, wear upon the nerves, cause mental suffering, and create a state of mind that makes it impossible to curb the temper of the child to whom such words are spoken.This is often the reason children speak disrespectfully to parents.{DG 207.5}[31]
§69
要记住:儿女也有必须得到尊重的权益。你非常任性。你把这种性格特点遗传给了你的孩子。你也许从早忙到晚，但却仍未完成上帝已指派你去做的工作。你在指导与训练你的小羊时应尽到你做母亲的责任。……{DG208.1}[32]
§70
Remember that children have rights which must be respected. Your self-will is very strong. You have given this trait of character to your children. You may be busy from morning till night, and yet fail of doing the work that God has appointed you to do. You need to act the part of a mother in guiding and training your little flock. . . .{DG 208.1}[32]
§71
我亲爱的姐妹，你真的需要上帝的帮助。你自己必须负起基督的轭，然后才能正确地教导孩子，让他们把心交给耶稣。为使你胜任此项工作，你必须寻求上帝特别的赐福。让圣灵住在你的心中，使之成为爱和喜乐的泉源。要为柔和安静的心而恳切祈求。以温柔的心每天寻求上帝的赐福。如果你每天都能从上面领受福气，你就会被更新并把你所领受的分赠给你的孩子。当你的性情和品格改变时，你就必在你孩子的性情和品格上发挥一种有益的影响。--Letter47a,1902.{DG208.2}[33]
§72
My dear sister, you are in need of divine help. You must wear Christs yoke yourself before you can properly teach your children that they are to give their hearts to Jesus. That you may be fitted to do this work, seek for Gods special blessing. Let the Holy Spirit abide in your heart, making it a wellspring of love and joy. Pray most earnestly for a meek and quiet spirit. In the spirit of meekness, seek daily for Gods blessing. If you daily receive blessings from above, you will be refreshed and will impart to your children that which you have received. And as your disposition and character change, you will have a beneficial influence over the disposition and character of your children.--Letter 47a, 1902.{DG 208.2}[33]
§73
【父母可能过于纵容】
§74
（怀爱伦于1871年写信给她的朋友贝利夫妇，提及他们纵容孩子的事。）{DG208.3}[34]
§75
【Parents Can Be Too Indulgent】
§76
IN 1871 ELLEN WHITE WROTE TO HER FRIENDS, BROTHER AND SISTER BAILEY, ABOUT THEIR INDULGENCE TOWARD THEIR CHILDREN. {DG 208.3}[34]
§77
亲爱的朋友贝利夫妇：既然我一直在把主指示我有关别人的事写信告诉他们，我认为我也有责任要写信给你们。我有事要写信告诉你们，但直到现在我才有空写给你们。在你家里如果我有好机会，我就会早对你们说，好使我的心得到释放。但自从我回家后我无法感到释放，直到我写信给你们。{DG208.4}[35]
§78
Dear Friends, Brother and Sister Bailey: I have been feeling it to be my duty to write you since I have been writing for others the things that have been shown me in regard to them. I have had some things to write to you but have not felt free to write until now. When at your house if a favorable opportunity had presented, I should have spoken to you and relieved my mind. Since my returning home, I do not feel free unless I write to you.{DG 208.4}[35]
§79
我有很多东西要写，论到父母在正确教导孩子上所犯的错误及在其孩子身上的影响。你们的做法展现在我面前。你们二人都太纵容你们的孩子。你们并没有充分看到并意识到自己的危险和错误,以致能在家中采取应有的立场，并吩咐家人听从你们。{DG208.5}[36]
§80
I have had much writing to do in regard to the errors of parents in properly instructing their children and the result upon their children. Your course was opened before me. You have both been too indulgent to your children. Your dangers and errors are not seen and realized so fully as to lead you to take a position you should in your family and command your household after you.{DG 208.5}[36]
§81
上帝凭着祂极大的怜悯使你们认识了真理。你们爱慕真理。你们看见真理对你们的要求。它改变了你们的生活，引导你们对你孩子的属灵福利产生浓厚的兴趣。所有这些都与上帝的灵是和谐一致的。但你们虽然感到这种渴望，却没能认真地去做主交给父母的工作。你们的孩子一直没有受到约束。他们一直被纵容以致受害。你们没有使他们象上帝要求的那样顺服。{DG208.6}[37]
§82
God in His great mercy has brought the truth to your knowledge. You love the truth. You see its claims upon you. It has wroughta reformation in the life and has led you to have a deep interest in the spiritual welfare of your children. All this is in accordance with the Spirit of God. But while you feel thus anxious you fail seriously to do the work the Lord has left you as parents to do. Your children have not been restrained. They have been indulged to their injury. They have not been brought into subjection as God requires.{DG 208.6}[37]
§83
你们在培养儿女的事上有严重的亏欠。你们的女儿特别受宠。你们的儿子也未得到正确的教育。你们的女儿被娇惯放纵直到她的实际用途很小。她的注意力几乎都集中在她自己身上，直到她的心思极度自私并以自我为中心。她稍有不适，就不愿意劳动。她被宠爱且不必做任何费力的事。你们当着她面说她不舒服。她的思维就在这个方面兴奋起来。母亲担负了应该让其儿女分担的重担。母亲若能得到她应该从孩子，尤其是女儿身上应得的帮助，原可免除被疾病严重袭击的痛苦。就健康而言，这样的劳动对女儿大有益处，也会使她免遭疾病并成为母亲的福气。……{DG209.1}[38]
§84
There has been a serious lack with you in the training of your children. Your daughter especially has been petted. Your sons have not been educated aright. Your daughter has been petted and indulged until her practical usefulness is very small. Her attention has been mostly directed to herself until her mind has become supremely selfish and centered upon herself. If she has had indisposition, she is averse to labor. She has been favored and excused from any exertion. You have talked before her that she was not well. Her imagination has been excited in this direction. The mother has borne the heavy burdens she should have shared with the daughter and with her sons. The mother would have been spared much suffering in consequence of acute attacks by disease, could she have had the help she might have had from her children, especially her daughter. Such labor would have been the greatest benefit to the daughter healthwise and saved her from sickness and been a blessing to her mother. . . .{DG 209.1}[38]
§85
另一个威胁着要摧毁你们女儿用途的罪恶就是爱世界和外表的骄傲。她所酷爱的矫揉造作对灵性来说就是死亡。{DG209.2}[39]
§86
Another evil which threatens to destroy the usefulness of your daughter is a love of the world, and pride of appearance. She has cherished an affectation which is death to spirituality.{DG 209.2}[39]
§87
贝利姐妹，你在教养孩子的事上犯下了严重的错误。正如嫩枝被折弯，树就弯曲一样，你的宠爱，你原谅他们的错误和他们藐视你的权威，直接妨碍了他们的得救。那些没有学会礼貌及顺从父母之要求的孩子，必不能体会到他们对上帝的责任和祂对他们顺服的要求。……{DG209.3}[40]
§88
Sister Bailey, you have committed a serious error in bringing up your children. Just as the twig is bent, the tree inclines. Your petting and excusing their errors and disrespect of your authority have stood directly in the way of their salvation. Children who are not trained to be courteous and to yield to the claims of their parents will not have a sense of their duty to God and His claims upon them for obedience and submission. . . .{DG 209.3}[40]
§89
你的儿女遗传了你的慷慨好客。要让让他们明白，作为回报，他们必须表显出顺从并尊重你的权威。你的儿女还会在上帝的恩典之外；他们会使你难过和极度的痛苦而没有一丝懊悔。他们会视最小的约束为侵犯他们的权利，并会轻视责备。{DG209.4}[41]
§90
Your children, who share your bounty and hospitality, should be made to understand that in return they must show obedience and respect for your authority. Your children will yet be without the grace of God; they will cause you heartaches and the keenest pangs of anguish without one feeling of remorse. They will consider the slightestrestraint an invasion of their rights and will despise reproof.{DG 209.4}[41]
§91
你的儿女已经丧失了他们应当在早年获得训练的益处，但是现在你应该完全改变你的教育方式并挽回你的疏忽。你的儿女缺少正确的训练和自我教育所带给他们的高尚出色的特质。你的孩子不礼貌也不尊重人。你所听到的从他们嘴唇里说出来的话，你不应该允许他们在你家中说出。那些没有在幼年约束自己的青年会成为他们自己的主。统治权在他们自己的手里。他们自高、自负、鲁莽，对自尊或是借密切关注某事来训练其心思没有多少喜好或抱负。他们不愿受约束。他们藐视学校的纪律，因为他们没有在家中受过训练。……{DG210.1}[42]
§92
Your children lost the benefits of the early training they should have had, but now you should change your discipline entirely and redeem your neglect. Your children lack those noble, desirable qualities of mind which right discipline and self-culture would have given them. Your children are not courteous, neither are they respectful. You listen to words from their lips that you should not permit under your roof. The young who are not restrained at an early age become their own masters and their own mistresses. They take the reins in their own hands. They are self-important, self-conceited, and impetuous, and do not have much taste or ambition for self-respect or to discipline their mind by close application to anything. They will not be restrained. They despise school discipline, for they have not been disciplined at home. . . .{DG 210.1}[42]
§93
上帝不喜悦贝利姐妹管理孩子时的做法。她疏忽责任，被称在天平里显出了亏欠。这是母亲身上很严重的缺陷——对孩子太温柔以致允许孩子犯罪，允许他们易怒、不感恩、不顺服、任性、傲慢——还为此找借口并遮人眼目甚至自己也闭眼不看。以此她就与他们的错误有份并支持他们在罪中，他们的血必粘在他们母亲及父亲的衣服上。他们如今应该在他们一方有所改变，以挽回过去，然而他们却无法涂抹他们在孩子身上所有长久忽视的结果。上帝让父母在很大程度上要为其儿女的行为负责，因为他们在其品格的形成上有责任。……{DG210.2}[43]
§94
God is not pleased with Sister Baileys course in the management of her children. [She is] remiss in duty, weighed in the balance and found wanting. This is a serious defect in a mother--to be so tender of her children that she would allow sin upon them, allow them to be passionate, unthankful, disobedient, heady, high-minded--and yet excuse this and cover it from others eyes and even from her own eyes. In this she is partaker of their wrongs and has been sustaining them in sin, and the blood of their souls will be in the skirts of her garments and their fathers. They can now redeem the past by a reformation on their part, but they can never blot out the results of their great neglect as far as their children are concerned. God holds parents responsible for the conduct of their children in a great degree, for they have [responsibility for] the formation of their characters. . . .{DG 210.2}[43]
§95
你的女儿需要有效劳动的激励。她已足能工作并担负她生活中的担子，这样要好于她母亲为他们担负重担。每天工作会使她的肌肉有活力，对你女儿来说这是她身体器官所能得到的最好的药。娇弱闲懒会使她处于暴躁、不满及忧郁之中。……我的弟兄姐妹，愿主为你们的缘故祝福这些话。--Letter1,1871.{DG210.3}[44]
§96
Your daughter needs to be energized by active labor. She is far better able to work and bear her share of lifes burdens than for her mother to bear them for her. Work, every day, that will bring into action her muscles and the organs of the body will be the best medicine your daughter can have. Delicate idleness is keeping her bilious and discontented and unhappy. . . . May God bless these lines to you, my brother and sister.--Letter 1, 1871. {DG 210.3}[44]