第17章 婚姻与家庭
§1
第17章 婚姻与家庭
§2
Chap. 17 - Marriage, Home, Family
§3
你基督教的程度是用你家庭生活的品格来衡量的。基督的恩典能使蒙恩的人把家庭变成快乐的场所，充满和平与安宁。--ST,1892.11.14{DG180.1}[1]
§4
The measure of your Christianity is gauged by the character of your home life. The grace of Christ enables its possessors to make the home a happy place full of peace and rest. --Signs of the Times, Nov. 14, 1892 {DG 180.1}[1]
§5
上帝原来的计划——世上的第一次婚礼乃是上帝亲自主持的。可见婚姻的制度是宇宙的创造主所设立的。“婚姻，人人都当尊重”（来13:4）。它是上帝给人的最初恩赐之一，也是人类堕落之后亚当从乐园中带出来的两个制度之一。人若在婚姻的关系上承认并遵守这神圣的原则，婚姻就必成为人间的福乐。婚姻足以保障人类的纯洁和幸福，供给人类社交的需要，并促进人类德智体三方面的发展。--PP46(1890).{DG180.2}[2]
§6
【Marriage】
§7
Gods Original Design.--God celebrated the first marriage. Thus the institution has for its originator the Creator of the universe. Marriage is honourable (Hebrews 13:4); it was one of the first gifts of God to man, and it is one of the two institutions that, after the Fall, Adam brought with him beyond the gates of Paradise. When the divine principles are recognized and obeyed in this relation, marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of the race, it provides for mans social needs, it elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the moral nature.--PP 46 (1890).{DG 180.2}[2]
§8
婚姻是一个神圣的制度——婚姻已得蒙基督的祝福，应被视为一个神圣的制度。真宗教不会对抗主的计划。上帝命定男人和女人应在神圣的婚姻中合而为一，组建以荣耀为冠冕的家庭，作为天上家庭的象征。基督在公开布道之初，就明确认可了祂在伊甸园所设立的制度，从而对所有的人宣布，祂不会拒绝出席婚礼。婚姻若与纯净和圣洁，真诚和公义相结合，就是赐给人类的最大福惠之一。--ST,1899.8.30.{DG180.3}[3]
§9
Marriage a Sacred Institution.--Marriage has received Christs blessing, and it is to be regarded as a sacred institution. True religion is not to counterwork the Lords plans. God ordained that man and woman should be united in holy wedlock, to raise up families that, crowned with honor, would be symbols of the family in heaven.And at the beginning of His public ministry Christ gave His decided sanction to the institution that had been sanctioned in Eden. Thus He declared to all that He will not refuse His presence on marriage occasions, and that marriage, when joined with purity and holiness, truth and righteousness, is one of the greatest blessings ever given to the human family.--ST, Aug. 30, 1899.{DG 180.3}[3]
§10
各有自己的职责——结为终身伴侣的人，具有各自的特性和职责。他们各有自己的工作。但妇女的价值不可按照她们的工作量来权衡，象牲畜的负重那样。妻子应当成为聪明丈夫的妻子和伴侣，造福于家庭。她当步步自问：“这是否符合真正妇女的标准？”“我如何使我在家中的影响基督化呢？”丈夫应当让妻子知道他欣赏她的工作。{DG181.1}[4]
§11
Each Has Individual Responsibilities.--The two who unite their interest in life will have distinct characteristics and individual responsibilities. Each one will have his or her work, but women are not to be valued by the amount of work they can do as are beasts of burden. The wife is to grace the family circle as a wife and companion to a wise husband. At every step she should inquire Is this the standard of true womanhood? and How shall I make my influence Christlike in my home? The husband should let his wife know that he appreciates her work.{DG 181.1}[4]
§12
妻子要尊重丈夫。丈夫要爱护珍惜妻子。他们既因婚约结为一体，就当凭着相信基督而在祂里面合而为一。还有什么比缔结婚姻关系的人一起追求效法耶稣，越来越被祂的灵所充满更蒙上帝喜悦的呢？--AH114(1899).{DG181.2}[5]
§13
The wife is to respect her husband. The husband is to love and cherish his wife; and as their marriage vow unites them as one, so their belief in Christ should make them one in Him. What can be more pleasing to God than to see those who enter into the marriage relation seek together to learn of Jesus and to become more and more imbued with His Spirit?--AH 114 (1899).{DG 181.2}[5]
§14
要温柔地对待妻子——你的家庭还可以是一个幸福的家庭。你的妻子需要你的帮助。她象小鸟依人，想要倚靠你的力量。你能够帮助她并且一路带领她。你决不应责难她。如果她的努力没有达到你的要求，你也决不要责备她。而要用温柔仁爱的话语鼓励她。你能够帮助你的妻子保持她的尊严和自重。决不要在她面前称赞别人的工作或行为以使她感到自己的不足。你在这方面一直是苛刻无情的。你一直对你家中的雇工比对你的妻子更礼貌，且使他们在你家中处于比你妻子更高的地位。--2T305(1869).{DG181.3}[6]
§15
Wife to Be Treated Tenderly.--Yours can yet be a happy family. Your wife needs your help. She is like a clinging vine; she wants to lean upon your strength. You can help her and lead her along. You should never censure her. Never reprove her if her efforts are not what you think they should be. Rather encourage her by words of tenderness and love. You can help your wife to preserve her dignity and self-respect. Never praise the work or acts of others before her to make her feel her deficiencies. You have been harsh and unfeeling in this respect. You have shown greater courtesy to your hired help than to her and have placed th em ahead of her in the house.--2T 305 (1869). {DG 181.3}[6]
§16
妻子要乐意维护丈夫的尊严--我也蒙指示，看见在妻子身上往往也有大缺欠。她没有尽大力量去约束自己的性情，使家庭快乐。她往往有暴躁易怒，及不必要的怨天尤人。丈夫在外操劳终日，忙乱疲倦，在回家时遇到的，竟是愁眉苦脸，而不是喜乐鼓励的言语。他不过是人而已，他既不能从妻子身上得着爱情温暖，结果就不爱自己的家庭，他的前途黯黑，他的勇气消沉，失去了上帝要他保持的自重及尊严。--1T307(1862).{DG181.4}[7]
§17
Wife Cheerfully to Help Husband Maintain Dignity.--I have also been shown that there is often a great failure on the part of the wife. She does not put forth strong efforts to control her own spirit and make home happy. There is often fretfulness and unnecessary complaining on her part. The husband comes home from his laborweary and perplexed, and meets a clouded brow instead of cheerful, encouraging words. He is but human, and his affections become weaned from his wife, he loses the love of his home, his pathway is darkened, and his courage destroyed. He yields his self-respect and that dignity which God requires him to maintain.--1T 307 (1862). {DG 181.4}[7]
§18
爱基督，并彼此相爱——丈夫和妻子都不应让自己的个性融合在对方的个性之中。他们与上帝都有个人的关系，应当询问上帝：“什么是对的？”“什么是错的？”“我如何最好地实现人生的宗旨？”要把你的感情投放在为你舍命的主身上。要以基督为首，为终，为至善。当你对祂的爱更深更强烈时，你们彼此的爱也就得到了净化和加强。{DG182.1}[8]
§19
Love for Christ, Love for Each Other.--Neither the husband nor the wife should merge his or her individuality in that of the other. Each has a personal relation to God. Of Him each is to ask, What is right? What is wrong? How may I best fulfill lifes purpose? Let the wealth of your affection flow forth to Him who gave His life for you. Make Christ first and last and best in everything. As your love for Him becomes deeper and stronger, your love for each other will be purified and strengthened. {DG 182.1}[8]
§20
基督对我们所表显的精神，就像夫妻间所应当表现的精神。“正如基督爱我们”，“凭爱心行事”。?“教会怎样顺服基督，妻子也要怎样凡事顺服丈夫。你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己”（弗5:2，24，25）???。{DG182.2}[9]
§21
The spirit that Christ manifests toward us is the spirit that husband and wife are to manifest toward each other. As Christ also hath loved us, walk in love. As the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. {DG 182.2}[9]
§22
丈夫和妻子都不可强行控制对方，让对方屈从你的意志。你这样做无法维持彼此的爱。应当亲切，忍耐，宽容，体贴，有礼貌。靠着基督的恩典，你能使对方快乐，正如你在婚约中所承诺的。--RH,1908.12.10（见附录五）{DG182.3}[10]
§23
Neither the husband nor the wife should attempt to exercise over the other an arbitrary control. Do not try to compel each other to yield to your wishes. You cannot do this and retain each others love. Be kind, patient and forbearing, considerate and courteous. By the grace of God you can succeed in making each other happy, as in your marriage vow you promised to do.--RH, Dec. 10, 1908. [SEE APPENDIX E.] {DG 182.3}[10]
§24
【小心选择终生的伴侣】
§25
不智的婚姻摧毁前途——正在计划结婚的人如果不希望婚后有悲惨不幸的回忆，就必须严肃慎重地考虑这个问题。这一步若是草率行事，就会成为破坏男女青年前途最有效的途径之一。于是人生成了重担和咒诅。没有什么人比丈夫更能有效地破坏女人的幸福和前途，使人生变成痛苦的重担。也没有什么人比妻子更能打消男人的希望和抱负，麻痹他的精力，破坏他的感化力和前途；连百分之一也比不上。从结婚的时候起，许多男人和女人注定了他们今生和来世指望的成败。--RH,1886.2.2{DG182.4}[11]
§26
【Take Care in Choosing a Life Companion】
§27
Unwise Marriage Can Ruin Usefulness.--If those who are contemplating marriage would not have miserable, unhappy reflections after marriage, they must make it a subject of serious, earnest reflection now. This step taken unwisely is one of the most effective means of ruining the usefulness of young men and women. Life becomes a burden, a curse. No one can so effectually ruin a womans happiness and usefulness, and make life a heartsickening burden, as her own husband; and no one can do one hundredth part as much to chill the hopes and aspirations of a man, to paralyze his energies and ruin his influence and prospects, as his own wife. It is from the marriage hour that many men and women date their success or failure in this life, and their hopes of the future life.--RH, Feb. 2, 1886. {DG 182.4}[11]
§28
是否相配？——每一个女子在答应婚事以前，应当调查一下她所要结合的对象是否与她相配？他过去的为人如何？他的生活是否纯洁？他的示爱是出于高尚的动机，还是出于感情上的喜好？他有没有使她幸福的品质？从他的爱中能否得到真正的平安与喜乐？她是否能被允许保留自己的个性，或是须将自己的判断与良心都交给丈夫控制？作为一个基督的门徒，她并不是属于自己的，而是用重价买来的。她能尊救主的要求为至上吗？她的身体，灵性，思想和意志能保持清白圣洁吗？这些问题对于每一位准备结婚之女子的幸福是关系重大的。--5T362(1885).{DG183.1}[12]
§29
Is He Worthy?--Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy. What has been his past record? Is his life pure? Is the love which he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness? Has he the traits of character that will make her happy? Can she find true peace and joy in his affection? Will she be allowed to preserve her individuality, or must her judgment and conscience be surrendered to the control of her husband? As a disciple of Christ, she is not her own; she has been bought with a price. Can she honor the Saviours claims as supreme? Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy? These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage relation.--5T 362 (1885).{DG 183.1}[12]
§30
妻子要保持自己的个性——一个女人如果在家庭生活中最小的事情上都愿意总是听命于人，愿意放弃她的特性，那么她在世上就决不会成为一个有用的人，也不会成为别人的福气，实行上帝在她身上的旨意。她只是一台机器，要受另一个意志和另一个心思所支配。无论男女，上帝已经赐给每个人一种特性，一种个性。所有的人都必须亲自存敬畏上帝的心行事。--TSB25(1885).{DG183.2}[13]
§31
Wife to Keep Her Own Identity.--A woman that will submit to be ever dictated to in the smallest matters of domestic life, who will yield up her identity, will never be of much use or blessing in the world, and will not answer the purpose of God in her existence. She is a mere machine to be guided by anothers will and anothers mind. God has given each one, men and women, an identity, an individuality, that they must act in the fear of God for themselves.--TSB 25 (1885). {DG 183.2}[13]
§32
【当问题出现时】
§33
基督是我们患难时的帮助——（这封信是于1897年3月7日写给菲利普·威塞尔斯的。部分被刊载在《复临信徒家庭》中。惟愿这封信能给处于相似环境中的人以鼓励。）{DG183.3}[14]
§34
【When Problems Arise】
§35
Christ Our Help in Time of Trouble.--THE FOLLOWING LETTER WAS WRITTEN TO MRS. PHILIP WESSELS ON MARCH 7, 1897. PORTIONS OF IT APPEAR IN THE ADVENTIST HOME. IT IS HOPED THAT THIS LETTER WILL BE AN ENCOURAGEMENT TO THOSE WHO FACE SIMILAR CIRCUMSTANCES. {DG 183.3}[14]
§36
亲爱的威塞尔斯姐妹：我今天早上要写几行字给你。我希望并祈愿你不至失了信心或变得灰心。我们都有我们的个性，它不可以在泯没在另一个人的个性中。你有一个灵魂需要救赎或是沦丧。在每一次危难中，上帝会做你随时的帮助。祂会让你站在你的责任岗位上，完全依赖那位爱我们并为我们而死的主。{DG183.4}[15]
§37
Dear Sister Wessels: I will pen a few lines to you this morning. I hope and pray that you will not lose faith, or become discouraged. We all have our individuality; this cannot be submerged in another. You have a soul to save or to lose. The Lord will be to you a present help in every time of trouble. He would have you stand at your post of duty, relying wholly upon Him who has loved us and died for us. {DG 183.4}[15]
§38
你的丈夫转脸离开耶稣，使你负起了双重的担子。作为母亲，你的工作就是把你的孩子带到主面前。当基督在世，母亲们把孩子带到祂面前时，门徒将要把她们赶走，但耶稣责备门徒说：“让小孩子到我这里来，不要禁止他们；因为在天国的，正是这样的人”（太19:14）。{DG184.1}[16]
§39
You now have a double responsibility, because your husband has turned his face away from Jesus. As a mother, your work is to bring your children to the Master. When Christ was upon earth, and the mothers brought their children to Him, the disciples were about to send them away, but Jesus rebuked the disciples, saying, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. {DG 184.1}[16]
§40
我知道你独自坚守真理是很忧苦的。但是你这作妻子知道自己始终不渝存着信心顺从真理的人生，能争取你的丈夫接受真理吗？要把可爱的孩子带到耶稣面前。要用简明的话对他们讲述真理。要给他们唱表达基督之爱快乐动人的诗歌。要带领你的儿女亲近耶稣，因为祂爱孩子。{DG184.2}[17]
§41
I know it must be a great grief for you to stand alone, as far as the doing of the Word is concerned. But how knowest thou, Oh wife, but that your consistent life of faith and obedience may win back your husband to the truth. Let the dear children be brought to Jesus. In simple language speak the words of truth to them. Sing to them pleasant, attractive songs, which reveal the love of Christ. Bring your children to Jesus, for He loves little children.{DG 184.2}[17]
§42
要常常喜乐。不要忘记你有一位保惠师，就是基督差来的圣灵。你永不会孤单。你若愿意听现在对你说话的声音，毫不犹豫地回答敲你心门的声音，说：“主耶稣啊，请进来，让我与祢、祢与我一同坐席。”那位天上的贵宾就会进来。神圣之主既与你同居，你就有平安和安息。这就是上帝的国临到你了。{DG184.3}[18]
§43
Keep cheerful. Do not forget that you have a Comforter, the Holy Spirit, which Christ has appointed. You are never alone. If you will listen to the voice that now speaks to you, if you will respond without delay to the knocking at the door of your heart, Come in, Lord Jesus, that I may sup with Thee, and Thee with me, the heavenly Guest will enter. When this element, which is all divine, abides with you, there is peace and rest. It is the kingdom of heaven come nigh unto you.{DG 184.3}[18]
§44
愿你时时刻刻处于信靠、祈祷与信心之中。你会遇到试炼。我们的杂质都必须被清除，成为洁白而可靠的。在试炼之时，要将每一思想降服于耶稣基督。敌人会以意想不到的方式接踵而至，但是要击退仇敌的试探。这样，我们会恩上加恩，力上加力，获得一个又一个属灵的胜利。{DG184.4}[19]
§45
Let every hour be one of trust and prayer and faith. You may expect trials. We must all be purified from dross, and made white and tried. In the time of trial, seek to bring every thought into captivity to Jesus Christ. One foe after another may come in unexpected ways, but dismiss the temptations of the enemy. In this way, we go on from grace to grace, from strength to strength, obtaining one spiritual victory after another.{DG 184.4}[19]
§46
要紧握住基督，祂必会让你倚靠在祂强壮的臂膀下。得胜者必得到生命的冠冕。{DG184.5}[20]
§47
Hold fast to Christ, and He will give you His strong arm to lean upon. There is a crown of life for the overcomer.{DG 184.5}[20]
§48
与基督密切联合意味着遵行基督的话。祂称这种联合为常在祂的爱里，于是人心就与上帝相和谐。要铭记祂的应许，忠心地履行每一微小的责任，就象是给上帝做的。“你们若遵守我的命令，就常在我的爱里”（约15:10）。这里讲的是顺从与依赖。{DG184.6}[21]
§49
Close union with Christ means to do the words of Christ. He calls this union a continuance of His love. Then the heart is in harmony with God. Treasure up the promises, doing every little duty faithfully, as unto God. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love. Here is compliance and dependence.{DG 184.6}[21]
§50
你拥有一个强有力的帮助者。你若信靠祂就会安全。枯枝被嫁接到活葡萄树上，与树一样获得营养并成为一根枝子。罪人遵行上帝的话时就会显出他与救主之间有最亲密的关系。心灵、意志与思想都会随之与基督联合。借着信心，有限、软弱而无助的人类把他的软弱与祂的能力相连。如此的联合显明了完全的信心与爱心，我们的无助和依赖需要这种联合。{DG184.7}[22]
§51
You have a strong Helper, and while you trust in your surety, youare safe. The sapless twig, grafted into the living vine, partakes of the same nourishment [as] the vine, and becomes a branch. The closest possible relation between the sinner and the Saviour is seen when the sinner is a doer of the Word of God. Then the heart, the will, the mind, are in close union with Christ. By faith, finite, feeble, helpless humanity joins its feebleness to His strength. Such a union--[showing] entire confidence and love--our helplessness and dependence demands.{DG 184.7}[22]
§52
基督屈辱地死去，为了把我们带到上帝面前。当人相信基督有能力将凡来到祂面前的人都拯救到底时，当他完全放弃自己而来到那供应全备的救主面前时，当他坚守所赐的应许并完全相信耶稣时，上帝就会宣告他是与基督联合的。倚靠基督如孩童单纯地依靠其母亲的人被称为义了，因为他已与那位被称为公义和救赎的替身合而为一。这就是爱了。心灵与意志得以在基督耶稣里相结合。{DG185.1}[23]
§53
Christ died a shameful death that He might bring us unto God. When the soul is persuaded that Christ is able to save to the uttermost all who come unto Him, when it resigns itself entirely to Him as an all-sufficient Saviour, when it clings to the promises made and believes fully in Jesus, it is pronounced by God [as] one with Christ. A soul that depends on Christ with the simplicity that a child depends upon its mother is justified, for it becomes one with the Substitute, who was Justification and Redemption. Herein is love, that the heart and will are knit together in Christ Jesus.{DG 185.1}[23]
§54
我们的救主怎么说呢？“我不撇下你们为孤儿，我必到你们这里来。”“有了我的命令又遵守的，这人就是爱我的；爱我的必蒙我父爱他，我也要爱他，并且要向他显现。”当试炼遮蔽心灵时，要记住基督的话，记住祂借圣灵的本体在暗中的同在，要成为赐给你的平安和安慰，向你显明祂与你同在，公义的日头必会驱散你的黑暗。“人若爱我，就必遵守我的道；我父也必爱他，并且我们要到他那里去，与他同住”（约14：18，21，23）。要喜乐，光必来到，你的灵必会在主里大大欢欣。--Lt1897.124{DG185.2}[24]
§55
What saith our Saviour? I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father; and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him. When trials overshadow the soul, remember the words of Christ, remember that He is an unseen presence in the person of the Holy Spirit, and He will be the peace and comfort given you, manifesting to you that He is with you, the Sun of Righteousness, chasing away your darkness. If a man love me, Christ said, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. Be of good cheer; light will come, and your soul will rejoice greatly in the Lord.--Letter 124, 1897. {DG 185.2}[24]
§56
在试炼的环境下要持守——（怀夫人于1898年10月5日再次写信给威塞尔斯姐妹，鼓励她要有信心并与主亲近。）{DG185.3}[25]
§57
Hold Fast Under Trying Circumstances.--AGAIN, ON OCTOBER 5, 1898, MRS. WHITE WROTE TO SISTER WESSELS, ENCOURAGING HER TO HAVE FAITH AND TO STAY CLOSE TO THE LORD. {DG 185.3}[25]
§58
亲爱的威塞尔斯姐妹：我对你、你的丈夫和你们的孩子深感关心。我感谢天父赐你恩典，使你在试炼的境遇中坚持信心。但是我的姐妹，不要有片刻不信你的天父。但愿你的心信靠上帝。要信任祂。祂的手在支撑着你，如果你住在基督里，你就会越来越刚强。“我们务要认识耶和华，竭力追求认识祂。祂出现确如晨光”（何6:3）。{DG185.4}[26]
§59
Dear Sister Wessels: I feel a deep interest in you, your husband, and your children. I thank my heavenly Father that He has given you grace to hold fast the faith under trying circumstances. But do not for a moment, my sister, distrust your heavenly Father.Let your heart trust in God. Place your confidence in Him. His hand sustains you, and if you abide in Christ, you will grow stronger and stronger. Following on to know the Lord, you will know that His goings forth are prepared as the morning. {DG 185.4}[26]
§60
真理的知识要与生发仁爱并洁净心灵的信心相结合。你若持续信靠上帝，就会在每次需要之时都获得最宝贵的福气。主看见并知道你需要多少恩典。你可以信靠祂。祂的应许，祂不变的誓言保证基督要做我们的中保。祂说：“尊重我的，我必重看他”（撒上2:30）。主必赏赐你对祂的单纯信靠。任何时候都不可不信靠上帝的话。你已经证实了上帝的应许。你已感受到祂的手在你身上。主必垂听你的祈祷。—Lt.1898.82{DG186.1}[27]
§61
The knowledge of the truth is connected with the possession of that faith that works by love and purifies the soul. If you continue to trust in God, you will realize the most precious blessings in every time of need. The Lord sees, the Lord knows, how much you need His grace. You may depend upon Him. His mediation is assured in His promise, His everlasting pledge. Them that honor me, He says, I will honor. The Lord will reward your simple faith and trust in Him. You need not distrust the Word of God at any time. You have proved the promise of God. You have felt His hand upholding you. The Lord will hear your prayers.--Letter 82, 1898. {DG 186.1}[27]
§62
【邀请上帝软化并折服人心的圣灵来解决分歧】
§63
（引自1902年3月19日写给玛丽·纳尔逊夫人的一封长信。怀爱伦试图劝勉纳尔逊夫妇言归于好，破镜重圆。）{DG186.2}[28]
§64
【Invite the Softening,Subduing Spirit of God to Settle Differences】
§65
PORTION OF A LONG LETTER WRITTEN TO MRS. MARY NELSON ON MARCH 19, 1902. ELLEN WHITE TRIED TO GIVE THE NELSONS COUNSEL THAT WOULD UNITE THEM AS A FAMILY ONCE AGAIN. {DG 186.2}[28]
§66
你的孩子需要一位父亲，你需要一位丈夫，你的丈夫也需要一位妻子。你需要你丈夫的帮助，而你们双方都需要救主的帮助。你们二人都需要培养信心。你的孩子需要一位能背负基督之轭、将自己的意志降服于上帝的旨意、接受上帝圣手塑造的父亲。{DG186.3}[29]
§67
Your children need a father, you need a husband, and your husband needs a wife. You need the help of your husband, and you both need the help of the Saviour. Both of you should cultivate faith. Your children need a father who will wear Christs yoke, a father who will submit his will to Gods will, to be molded and fashioned by the divine hand. {DG 186.3}[29]
§68
我的弟兄，我的姐妹，你们有一段时间没有住在一起了。你们不应该采取这种做法，你们二人如果都培养了夫妻间始终应存在的忍耐、仁慈与宽容，就不会这么做了。无论结果如何，你们都不应坚持自己的意愿并试图按照自己的意思和计划行事。你们二人都不可随心所欲。愿软化人心使之顺服的上帝之灵在我们心中做工，并使你们适于教育你们的孩子。在上帝领导之下，你们的工作就是要使他们的品格塑造成型。为要持守唯独上帝能赐下的力量和能力，你们必须操练信心。当恳求你们的天父保守你们不向试探屈服，以急躁，严厉、任性的态度彼此说话——丈夫要这样对待妻子，妻子也这样对待丈夫。你们二人的品格都不完全。因为你们都没有一直在上帝的控制之下。你们彼此相待的方式一直是不智慧的。{DG186.4}[30]
§69
My brother, my sister, for some time you have not been living together. You should not have pursued this course, and would not have done so, if both of you had been cultivating the patience, kindness, and forbearance that should ever exist between husband and wife. Neither of you should set up your own will and try to carry out your individual ideas and plans, whatever the consequences may be. Neither of you should be determined to do as you please. Let the softening, subduing influence of the Spirit of God work upon your hearts, and fit you for the work of training your children. Your work, under God, is to mold and fashion their characters. In order to layhold on the strength and power that the Lord alone can give you, you must exercise faith. Appeal to your heavenly Father to keep you from yielding to the temptation to speak in an impatient, harsh, willful manner to each other--the husband to the wife, and the wife to the husband. Both of you have imperfect characters. Because you have not been under Gods control, your conduct toward each other has been unwise. {DG 186.4}[30]
§70
我恳劝你们要置自己于上帝的掌控之下。当受试探要说话暴戾时，要控制住什么都不说。你们在这点上必被试探，因为你们从来没有克服品格中这个讨厌的特质。然而应该战胜每一个错误的习惯。要完全降服于上帝。要掉在耶稣基督这块磐石上并被跌碎。作为夫妻，你们要造就自己。要到基督那里请求帮助。祂必乐意提供你祂神圣的同情与祂免费的恩典。那忠心为儿子三十年之久，为分担家庭重担在木匠铺里工作的主，必赐力量给跟从祂的人，叫他们在分担家庭重任上忠心履行自己的职责。{DG187.1}[31]
§71
I beseech you to bring yourselves under Gods control. When tempted to speak provokingly, refrain from saying anything. You will be tempted on this point, because you have never overcome this objectionable trait of character. But every wrong habit must be overcome. Make a complete surrender to God. Fall on the Rock, Christ Jesus, and be broken. As husband and wife, discipline yourselves. Go to Christ for help. He will willingly supply you with His divine sympathy, His free grace. He who for thirty years was a faithful son, working at the carpenters trade in order to do His share in bearing the burdens of the family firm, will give His followers strength faithfully to do their part in sharing the burdens of homelife. {DG 187.1}[31]
§72
我的姊妹：基督已托付你将祂的诫命教导儿女的神圣职责。为了适应这项工作，你自己必须在生活中顺从祂的一切律例。要养成谨慎言行的习惯。尤其要小心自己的言语。要克服急躁的性情；因为急躁如果表现出来，就会帮助仇敌使儿女对家庭生活感到讨厌而不快。{DG187.2}[32]
§73
My sister, Christ has committed to you the sacred work of teaching His commandments to your children. In order to be fitted for this work, you must yourself live in obedience to all His precepts. Cultivate a watchful observance of every word and action. Guard most diligently your words. Overcome all hastiness of temper; for impatience, if manifested, will help the adversary to make the homelife disagreeable and unpleasant for your children. {DG 187.2}[32]
§74
我们都是主耶稣的产业。祂以祂自己的生命为赎价来救赎我们。借着祂的恩赐，父亲、母亲和孩子，每个家庭成员都可以得救。我的姐妹，你要忽略你的家庭责任吗？你不愿运用上帝赐你的意志力去努力帮助你的孩子吗？我奉主的名吩咐你，要在你丈夫的协助下，千方百计去拯救你们的孩子。{DG187.3}[33]
§75
We are all the property of the Lord Jesus. He gave His life as a ransom to redeem us. By His gift every family--father, mother, and children--may be saved. My sister, will you neglect your home duties by not putting to tax your God-given power of will in an effort to help your children? In the name of the Lord, I charge you to make every effort, with your husbands help, to save your children. {DG 187.3}[33]
§76
作为父母，你们每个人身上都担负着同样的责任，要保守每一言语和行动，不让你们的孩子因你们的言语和举止而藐视你们。要尽量把所有欢乐和安慰带进家中。[34]
§77
Upon each of you, as parents, rests the equal responsibility of guarding every word and action, that neither your words nor your deportment shall disparage you in the estimation of your children. Bring into the household all the pleasantness and comfort and joy that you possibly can. {DG 187.4}[34]
§78
亲爱的纳尔逊夫妇，你们要为你们过去的行径而向上帝悔改。要意识到你们夫妻必须重新结合。要把过去生活中不愉快及不幸的经验放置一旁。要在主里鼓起勇气。要把心灵之窗向地关闭，向天敞开。如果你扬声向天祈求亮光，那位是光与生命、平安和喜乐的主耶稣必垂听你的呼求。公义的日头必照进你的心房，照亮你的心灵之殿。如果你欢迎祂临格之光进入你的家，你就不致随着本性说话，引起不快的感觉了。{DG188.1}[35]
§79
My dear Brother and Sister Nelson, repent before God for your past course. Come to an understanding and reunite as husband and wife. Put away the disagreeable, unhappy experience of your past life. Take courage in the Lord. Close the windows of the soul earthward and open them heavenward. If your voices are uplifted in prayer to heaven for light, the Lord Jesus, who is light and life, peace and joy, will hear your cry. He, the Sun of righteousness, will shine into the chambers of your mind, lighting up the soul-temple. If you welcome the sunshine of His presence into your home, you will not utter words of a nature to cause feelings of unhappiness.{DG 188.1}[35]
§80
哦，玛丽，我恳劝你停下来想一想你使上帝的灵多么担忧！要尽心寻求主，公义的日头就能照进你的心灵，完全地改变你，使你的每一言行成圣。{DG188.2}[36]
§81
Oh, Mary, I beg of you to stop and consider how much you are grieving the Holy Spirit of God! Seek the Lord with your whole heart, that the Sun of righteousness may shine into your soul, and work in you an entire transformation, sanctifying your every word and action.{DG 188.2}[36]
§82
我多么希望我能向地上的每个母亲大声疾呼：“要借着恩典使你的灵成圣，使基督可以自由地赐恩典给那些向祂求恩的人。要操练温柔。要对你的孩子显出成圣的爱。你要参与到他们的幸福中。教导他们操练良好的判断力。让他们熟悉上帝及祂对他们的旨意。要使耶稣基督的宗教有吸引力。永不要借争吵和不愉快的分歧冒犯主上帝。要寻求内心的柔和谦卑。要培植爱心。”{DG188.3}[37]
§83
How I wish I could cry with a loud voice to every mother in the land, Sanctify your spirit through the grace that Christ freely gives to those who ask Him for grace. Practice tenderness. Manifest a sanctified love for your children. Interest yourself in their happiness. Teach them to exercise good sense. Acquaint them with God and His purpose for them. Make the religion of Jesus Christ attractive. Never offend the Lord God by dissension and unhappy differences. Seek for meekness and lowliness of heart. Cultivate affection.{DG 188.3}[37]
§84
纳尔逊夫妇，你们过去曾意见不统一，但你们现今对上帝负有神圣的职责，要尽量使用上帝所赐你们的能力和力量。你们应当利用每一机会达到更高的标准。是上帝的旨意借着祂的仆人怀姐妹向你们指明，你们应当仰望耶稣，借着仰望，就可变成祂的形像。主希望你们在基督徒的经验中不再做小孩子，而要借祂所赐的恩典，在祂里面得以完全。你们如果利用现今获得更高经验的机会，就会在基督耶稣里变得强壮并得以完全。{DG188.4}[38]
§85
Brother and Sister Nelson, while in the past you have disagreed, you are now under solemn obligation to God to make the most of your God-given abilities and powers. You should improve every opportunity you have for reaching a higher standard. It is Gods purpose, signified to you through Sister White, His servant, that you should look to Jesus, and, by beholding Him, be changed into His likeness. The Lord desires that you shall no longer be children in your Christian experience, but, through the impartation of His grace, that you shall be complete in Him. If you take advantage of the present opportunity for reaching a higher experience, you can become strong and complete in Christ Jesus.{DG 188.4}[38]
§86
纳尔逊弟兄，你愿意软化并制服你的本性吗？你可以变得象耶稣并成为祂的布道士，祂的助手。祂绝不促使你苛刻、独裁、严厉地对待你的家人和其他你所接触的人。你只能度此生一次。你不愿把完美品格中的愉快和恩慈带进你的生活吗？上帝希望你成为善良的和行善的。我们每一个人都能使生活合我们的心意。我们若是愿意，就能善用口才来荣耀上帝。{DG188.5}[39]
§87
Brother Nelson, will you soften and subdue your nature? You may become like Jesus and be His missionary, His helping hand. He never prompts you to be exacting, dictatorial, and severe toward the membersof your family and toward others with whom you associate. You can live this life only once. Will you not bring the pleasantness and the goodness of a perfect character into this life? The Lord wants you to be good and to do good. We can individually make life what we please. If we choose, we can honor God by using aright the talent of speech.{DG 188.5}[39]
§88
我的弟兄，负起照顾孩子的责任吧！斥责他们是无济于事的，因为他们遗传了你们的性情。管理他们时，要坚定，但不要专横。对他们说话时，要抱着不会激起他们逆反心理的态度。{DG189.1}[40]
§89
My brother, take up the care of your children. It will do no good to blame them; for they have received your disposition as an inheritance. In governing them, be firm, but not arbitrary. In talking with them, speak in a manner that will not create a feeling of stubborn resistance.{DG 189.1}[40]
§90
纳尔逊夫妇，你们给孩子树立的榜样不是你们悔改后所应当树立的。你们如果被基督的恩典改变了，就必显出你们已经克服了自私自利和想要偏行己路、顺从本性的倾向、随心所欲的愿望。现在是表明你们不是为取悦自己而活的时候了。要把基督品格的馨香带进你们的品格中。除去责骂、焦躁和抱怨的精神。要培养语言的纯净。要祈祷并为上帝的荣耀而歌唱。愿上帝的平安在你们心中做主。--Letter47a,1902.{DG189.2}[41]
§91
Brother and Sister Nelson, the example that you have set before your children has not been what it would have been had you been converted. If you were changed by the grace of Christ, you would show that you had overcome selfishness and the desire to have your own way, to consult your natural inclinations, and to do as you please. Now is the time to show that you do not live to please self. Bring into the character the fragrance of Christs character. Put away the spirit of scolding, fretting, and repining. Cultivate purity of speech. Pray and sing to the glory of God. Let the peace of God rule in your hearts.--Letter 47a, 1902.{DG 189.2}[41]
§92
【恋爱与婚姻的严肃步骤】
§93
（怀爱伦视她的侄孙女艾迪·沃灵如同女儿。艾迪的一位远房表哥似乎在追求她。怀夫人列出了她不看好这段恋情的理由。）{DG189.3}[42]
§94
【Courtship and Marriage Serious Step】
§95
ELLEN WHITES GRANDNIECE, ADDIE WALLING, WAS LIKE A DAUGHTER TO HER. A DISTANT COUSIN OF ADDIES APPARENTLY WAS INTERESTED IN COURTING HER. MRS. WHITE OUTLINED HER REASONS FOR HER LACK OF ENTHUSIASM FOR SUCH A COURTSHIP. {DG 189.3}[42]
§96
我写了上一封信之后，收到了你的回信，这使我稍微放下了心，但我还是有点担忧。我不希望你和鲁本（塔普利）相恋。如果你给予他任何明确的鼓励，我会感到非常伤心。我喜欢鲁本。我认为他是一位诚实的年轻人，但是却不是我希望你嫁给他的人。我有几个理由。一是他有肺病，且有肺病家族史。我太清楚与这种可怕的疾病做斗争意味着什么。我们埋葬了患有肺病的拿但业和安妮.怀特；我们埋葬了患有肺病的办公室的主管鲁门.马斯滕；我们埋葬了我患有肺病的二哥罗伯特·哈门；我们埋葬了患肺病的萨拉·贝尔登。{DG189.4}[43]
§97
Since writing the foregoing I received a letter from you that has relieved me somewhat, but I am still some troubled. I think Reuben [Tapley]--I hope that there is no attachment between you. I should feel very sad if you had given him any decided encouragement. I like Reuben. I consider him an honest-hearted young man, but not one I would want to give you in marriage to for several reasons. One is, he is a consumptive, of a consumptive family, and I know too well what it is to have to battle with this terrible disease. We buried Nathaniel and Annie White with consumption. We buried Lumen Masten, foreman of the office, with consumption. We buried Robert Harmon, my next oldest brother, with consumption. We buried Sarah Belden with consumption. {DG 189.4}[43]
§98
你既注重健康与幸福，我不赞同你与一位易感染肺病的人结合。他母亲因肋旁患有淋巴结肿大而幸免于肺病。她不健康，随时都有去世的可能。他母亲的父亲塞缪尔·麦卡恩死于慢性肺病，而他的妻子即我的姐姐哈里特，被他传染上，极其痛苦。她也去世了。他的大女儿萨拉死于肺病；他的次子梅尔维尔死于肺病；露西·爱伦紧接着死于肺病；接下来玛丽也死于肺病，现在只有两个孩子还活着。那是最严重的一种肺病，我们深深地感到需要在这事上谨慎，是否要与那些血液中感染了这种恐惧杀手的人利害与共。{DG190.1}[44]
§99
I would not favor, as you regard health and happiness, your connecting with one who is predisposed to consumption. His mother has escaped consumption because of a scrofulous swelling in her side. She has no health, but is liable to die any time. His mothers father, Samuel McCann, died of the long, lingering consumption, and my sister Harriet, his wife, took it of him, and her suffering was extreme. She died. Sarah, the eldest daughter, died of consumption. Melville, the next-eldest son, died of consumption. Lucy Ellen next died of consumption. Mary, the next, died of consumption, and only two of the children now live. It is the worst kind of consumption, and we feel deeply the need of care in this matter of connecting our interest with those whose blood is tainted with this dread destroyer. {DG 190.1}[44]
§100
我一看到鲁本就知道他有患病的迹象。他不会活太久。他的细脖子，大大的脑袋告诉我痛苦的事实，他的命不长了。艾迪，这个问题还有更痛苦的一面。当他们虚弱地度日时，这个大家庭中只有一位对信仰感兴趣，那就是萨拉。露西.爱伦直到临死时都没有为天国做好准备。她临咽气前才呼求上帝。梅利莎是有信仰的。她虽拥有所有安息日的亮光，却还没有遵守。这就是鲁本的母亲。梅尔维尔忽视信仰就与鲁本一样。但他临死时没有反对信仰。他最后的呼吸乃是痛苦的祈祷。同样，梅也忽略把她的心交给上帝，直到她最后临死的日子。{DG190.2}[45]
§101
As soon as I looked upon Reuben I knew he was marked. He will not live long. His slim neck, his large head, tell the painful story that his life is short. Now, Addie, there is still a more painful side to this question. While they are having a feeble hold on life, only one of this large family was religiously inclined; that was Sarah. Lucy Ellen made no preparation for heaven till on her deathbed; then with her expiring breath she called upon God. Melissa is religious. She has had all the light upon the Sabbath, yet has not kept it. This is Reubens mother. Melville neglected religion just as Reuben does. [But he] did not oppose [it] when he was dying. His last breath was agonizing prayer. So, also, May neglected to give her heart to God till her very last dying days.{DG 190.2}[45]
§102
这对我来说比那可怕的肺病更糟糕。我无法赞同你与鲁本之间有恋情。你应该在恋爱与婚姻的事上向我袒露心扉，因为这比你生活中任何其他的事件都更加关系到你的幸福，你在这一点上需要更多的劝勉和忠告。我希望常听到来自你的消息。--Letter95,1886.{DG190.3}[46]
§103
Now this is worse to me than the dreaded disease of consumption. But I could not consent to have there be an attachment between you and Reuben. It is just and right that you should open your mind freely to me on this subject of courtship and marriage, for this concerns your happiness more than any other event of your life, and you need counsel and advice here more than on any other point. I hope to hear from you often.--Letter 95, 1886.{DG 190.3}[46]
§104
地上的家庭要做天上家庭的象征——如果在家中心存温柔，如果能高贵而慷慨地顺从彼此的爱好和意见，如果妻子能找机会借礼貌的行动表达对她丈夫的爱意，丈夫也显出同样的关心并善待妻子，那么孩子们就会继承这同样的精神。这种影响会弥漫于家庭中，那么将有多少家庭会免于痛苦啊！男人不会走出家去寻找幸福，女人不致渴望爱，失去勇气和自尊，终身患病。生命只借给我们一次，若谨慎、小心、自控，它就会变得持久、快乐，乃至于幸福。--TDG335(1872).{DG190.4}[47]
§105
【Families】
§106
Families on Earth to Be Symbols of Family in Heaven.--If the hearts were kept tender in our families, if there were a noble, generous deference to each others tastes and opinions, if the wife were seeking opportunities to express her love by actions in her courtesiesto her husband, and the husband manifesting the same consideration and kindly regard for the wife, the children would partake of the same spirit. The influence would pervade the household, and what a tide of misery would be saved in families! Men would not go from home to find happiness; and women would not pine for love, and lose courage and self-respect, and become lifelong invalids. Only one life lease is granted us, and with care, painstaking, and self-control it can be made endurable, pleasant, and even happy.--TDG 335 (1872).{DG 190.4}[47]
§107
亲切使家庭快乐——父母藉着对儿女亲切的话，称赞他们为善的表现，能鼓励他们的努力，使他们非常快乐，并在家庭范围里营造美妙的气氛，驱散一切阴影，带来喜乐的阳光。彼此善待和宽容能使家庭成为乐园，吸引圣天使到家中来。但是天使必远避那些充满不睦的言语，焦躁和纷争的家庭。残暴、埋怨和恼怒恨会把耶稣排斥在家门之外。--ST,1884.4.17{DG191.1}[48]
§108
Kindness Makes Home Pleasant Indeed.--By speaking kindly to their children, and praising them when they try to do right, parents may encourage their efforts, make them very happy, and throw around the family circle a charm which will chase away every dark shadow, and bring cheerful sunlight in. Mutual kindness and forbearance will make home a paradise, and attract holy angels into the family circle; but they will flee from a house where there are unpleasant words, fretfulness, and strife. Unkindness, complaining, and anger shut Jesus from the dwelling.--ST, Apr. 17, 1884.{DG 191.1}[48]
§109
【家中的好客】
§110
呼吁更加好客——甚至在那些自称为基督徒的人中，也很少实行真实的待客之礼。在我们的信徒中，也未照所应当地视款待客人的机会为一种特权和福气。我们太缺少交谊，也不肯去多请二三人来同桌吃饭，若不是感到简便得太难为情，那便是过于丰厚炫耀。有些客人会推辞说“那是太麻烦了。”其实他不会辞绝你的盛意的，只要你说：“我们没有作什么特别的预备，但是我们欢迎你，我们有什么就吃什么吧。”这意外的客人受了你的款待，会非常感激，过于你作最费事之预备的。--6T343(1900).{DG191.2}[49]
§111
【Hospitality in the Home】
§112
A Plea for More Home Hospitality.--Even among those who profess to be Christians, true hospitality is little exercised. Among our own people the opportunity of showing hospitality is not regarded as it should be, as a privilege and blessing. There is altogether too little sociability, too little of a disposition to make room for two or three more at the family board without embarrassment or parade. Some plead that it is too much trouble. It would not be if you would say, We have made no special preparation, but you are welcome to what we have. By the unexpected guest a welcome is appreciated far more than is the most elaborate preparation.--6T 343 (1900).{DG 191.2}[49]
§113
为不速之客作准备——一些持家的人为了厚待宾客，就节省家中的伙食。这是愚昧的做法。款待客人要简单一些。要先为家人着想。{DG191.3}[50]
§114
Ready for the Unexpected Guest.--Some householders stint the family table in order to provide expensive entertainment for visitors. This is unwise. In the entertainment of guests there should be greater simplicity. Let the needs of the family have first attention. {DG 191.3}[50]
§115
愚昧的节省和虚伪的习俗，往往使人无法实行必要而且有福的接待。我们餐桌上的食物应妥加预备，即便来了不速之客，主妇也无须另行烹饪。--MH322(1905).（怀爱伦的家中不为客人预备特别的食物。他们供应客人与家人一样丰盛而简单的食物。每餐都不尽相同，预备得很美味。）{DG191.4}[51]
§116
Unwise economy and artificial customs often prevent the exercise of hospitality where it is needed and would be a blessing. The regularsupply of food for our tables should be such that the unexpected guest can be made welcome without burdening the housewife to make extra preparation.--MH 322 (1905). [IN ELLEN WHITES HOME THERE WAS NO EXTRA COOKING FOR VISITORS. ABUNDANT, SIMPLE FOOD WAS SERVED TO FAMILY AND GUESTS ALIKE. THE MENU WAS VARIED FROM MEAL TO MEAL, PREPARED AND SERVED TASTEFULLY.]{DG 191.4}[51]
§117
更多的阅读资料见《复临信徒家庭》，《儿童教育指南》和《论婚姻危机——关于性行为，通奸和离婚的证言》{DG192.1}[52]
§118
FOR FURTHER READING SEE: THE ADVENTIST HOME; CHILD GUIDANCE; TESTIMONIES ON SEXUAL BEHAVIOR, ADULTERY, AND DIVORCE. {DG 192.1}[52]