第3章 在极大的痛苦中服事1892年)
§1
第3章 在极大的痛苦中服事(1892年)
§2
Chapter 3—(1892) Ministry in Great Pain and Suffering
§3
怀爱伦来说，几乎一到澳大利亚就开始生病，这是她一生中最神秘的经历之一。以下是她自己的描述: {4BIO 31.1}
§4
To Ellen White, the illness that began almost as soon as she reached Australia was one of the most mysterious experiences in her life. This is how she herself depicted it: {4BIO 31.1}
§5
新开展的澳大利亚工作需要帮助。我们在美国的弟兄希望我访问这块园地。他们说，我是主所特别教导的人，能在那里帮助工作，这是别人做不到的。我不想去，也没有得到亮光，说这是我的责任。我非常担心旅途，希望留在家里完成基督生平的著作和其他著作。{4BIO 31.2}
§6
When the work, newly started in Australia, was in need of help, our brethren in America desired me to visit this field. They urged that as one whom the Lord was especially teaching I could help the work here as others could not. I felt no inclination to go, and had no light that it was my duty. The journey was a dread to me. I desired to remain at home and complete my work on the life of Christ and other writings. {4BIO 31.2}
§7
但事情既已提出，教会的负责人就表示他们认为我和其他人应该访问那块园地。于是我就决定接受他们的意见。我担心自己若不愿意去，就会导致我在这方面得不到更多的凭据。{4BIO 31.3}
§8
But as the matter was introduced, and the responsible men of the conference expressed their conviction that I in company with others should visit this field, I decided to act in accordance with their light. I feared that my own unwillingness to go was the reason why I had no more evidence on the point. {4BIO 31.3}
§9
我经过长途旅行，出席了在墨尔本举行的会议。我作了一个明确的见证。主赐给我口才，发出责备和恳劝，提出了对于信徒和圣工最重要的原则。我的担子很重。就在会议结束之前 ，我得了重病。我患疟疾和风湿热达十一个月之久。{4BIO 31.4}
§10
I made the long journey and attended the conference held in Melbourne. I bore a decided testimony. The Lord gave me tongue and utterance to reprove, to entreat, and to present principles of the greatest importance to the people and to the work. The burden was heavy upon me, and just before the conference closed I was stricken with a severe illness. For eleven months I suffered from malarial fever and inflammatory rheumatism. {4BIO 31.4}
§11
在此期间我经历了一生中最为严重的痛苦。我需要忍受巨大的痛楚才能把脚抬离地面。我的右手肘以下是身体唯一不痛的部分。我的髋关节和脊柱持续疼痛。尽管垫了两个橡胶垫子，我还是无法在小床上连续躺卧超过两小时。我会把自己拖到一张类似的床上去改变我的姿势。夜晚就是这么度过的。{4BIO 31.5}
§12
During this period I experienced the most terrible suffering of my whole life. I was unable to lift my feet from the floor without suffering great pain. My right arm, from the elbow down, was the only part of my body that was free from pain. My hips and my spine were in constant pain. I could not lie on my cot for more than two hours at a time, though I had rubber cushions under me. I would drag myself to a similar bed to change my position. Thus the nights passed. {4BIO 31.5}
§13
但在这一切痛苦中也有愉快的一面：我的救主似乎就在我身边。我感到在我心中有祂神圣的临格，因此我非常感恩。这些受痛苦的月份，因为有我救主作伴，成了我一生中最幸福的岁月。祂是我的盼望和最大的喜乐。我为这次的经历而感恩，因为我对我宝贵的主和救主有了更深的认识。祂的爱充满了我的心。在我整个的患病期间，祂的慈爱，祂的亲切同情使我得到了的安慰。我不间断的安慰。{4BIO 32.1}
§14
But in all this there was a cheerful side. My Saviour seemed to be close beside me. I felt His sacred presence in my heart, and I was thankful. These months of suffering were the happiest months of my life, because of the companionship of my Saviour. He was my hope and crown of rejoicing. I am so thankful that I had this experience, because I am better acquainted with my precious Lord and Saviour. His love filled my heart. All through my sickness His love, His tender compassion, was my comfort, my continual consolation. {4BIO 32.1}
§15
医生说我再也无法行走，我恐怕一生都要与病魔相斗。但我不愿意放弃，通过不懈的努力，由于我仍旧要作主与祂子民之间使者的信念，我的健康发生了很大的变化。在此期间，我有时离家出席四到十二英里外的聚会。在一些聚会中，我能一次讲整整一个小时。我不顾病疾而公开讲话，对于我的弟兄姊妹来说是个鼓舞。{4BIO 32.2}
§16
Physicians said I would never be able to walk again, and I had fears that my life was to be a perpetual conflict with suffering. But I would not give up, and the constant effort that I made, because of my faith that I could still be the Lord’s messenger to the people, accomplished a great change in my health. Some of the meetings that I attended at this time were from four to twelve miles from home. On some of these occasions I was enabled to speak for a full hour at a time. The fact that I could speak in public in spite of my crippled condition was an encouragement to my brethren and sisters. {4BIO 32.2}
§17
继续写作Continued to Write
§18
在承受痛苦的这十一个月里，我继续坚持写作。我右臂自肘以下可以活动，这样我就能用我的笔，写了两千五百页信纸的材料供发表。{4BIO 32.3}
§19
During those eleven months of suffering I continued my work of writing. My right arm from the elbow down was whole, so that I could use my pen, and I wrote twenty-five hundred pages of letter paper for publication during this period. {4BIO 32.3}
§20
在我最初深信自己必须放弃拜访澳大利亚和新西兰教会的宝贵计划时，我曾认真地自问，前往澳大利亚，来到这个遥远的国家是否是我的本分。在许多失眠的夜晚，我回顾了我们离开美国前往（澳大利亚）的经历。这是一段充满焦虑、痛苦和负担沉重的时间。{4BIO 32.4}
§21
When I was first convinced that I must give up my cherished plan to visit the churches in Australia and New Zealand, I questioned seriously whether it was ever my duty to leave America, and come to this far-off country. Many sleepless hours of the night I spent in going over our experience since we left America for Australia. It was a time of continual anxiety, suffering, and burden bearing. {4BIO 32.4}
§22
我首先感到自己无法忍受这种不活动的状态：我想我为此而精神上焦虑，有时陷入阴郁。这种矛盾心理存在于我痛苦无助之初，但不久我认识到痛苦是上帝计划的一部分。我仔细审视过去几年的历史和主委派我去做的工作。祂从未令我失望过。祂时常以显著的方式显现自己，我看不出过去有什么值得抱怨的地方。我认识到所有这些严峻的经历都被宝贵的事情，仿佛用金线串在了一起。{4BIO 33.1}
§23
I felt at first that I could not bear this inactivity. I think I fretted in spirit over it, and at times darkness gathered about me. This unreconciliation was at the beginning of my suffering and helplessness, but it was not long before I saw that the affliction was a part of God’s plan. I carefully reviewed the history of the past few years, and the work the Lord had given me to do. Not once had He failed me. Often He had manifested Himself in a marked manner, and I saw nothing in the past of which to complain. I realized that like threads of gold, precious things had run through all this severe experience. {4BIO 33.1}
§24
于是我恳求和不断体验上帝应许的甜美安慰：“你们亲近上帝，上帝就必亲近你们”（雅4:8）。“因为仇敌好像急流的河水冲来，是耶和华之气所驱逐的”（赛59:19）。T{4BIO 33.2}
§25
Then I prayed earnestly and realized continually sweet comfort in the promises of God: “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.” “When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him.” {4BIO 33.2}
§26
这些应许对我来说完全实现了。我知道耶稣来临的神圣时刻近了。我发现了祂丰满的恩典。我的心驻足于上帝。我可以倾心呼喊：“我知道我所信的是谁”（提后1:12）。“上帝是信实的，必不叫你们受试探过于所能受的。在受试探的时候，总要给你们开一条出路，叫你们能忍受得住”（林前10:13）。（《文稿》1893年75号）{4BIO 33.3}
§27
These promises were fulfilled to me. I knew Jesus came sacredly near, and I found His grace all-sufficient. My soul stayed upon God. I could say from a full heart, “I know in whom I have believed.” “God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation make a way of escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”—Manuscript 75, 1893. {4BIO 33.3}
§28
就这样，怀爱伦在康复的同时，也写下她对长期痛苦经历的认识，并敢于希望自己的未来会有一些美好的岁月。以下是这次痛苦经历中的一些亮点。 {4BIO 33.4}
§29
Thus Ellen White, while making a recovery, could write setting forth her philosophy of the experience of prolonged suffering and could dare to hope that she had some good years ahead. Following are some highlights in this agonizing experience. {4BIO 33.4}
§30
罹患疾病!“我该怎么办?”
§31
Stricken! “What Shall I Do?”
§32
起初，在前途未卜之际，她有些决定要做。她作为上帝的使者来到澳大利亚，为民众服务。当她的活动被身体上的痛苦所限制时，她能在多大程度上做到这一点?她不能外出，而且她的讲道必须在驾车容易到的地方。她可以写字了，因为她的右手奇迹般地消失了疼痛，但写作必须在一定的条件下才能完成。 {4BIO 33.5}
§33
At first, while in the uncertainty as to her future, she had some decisions to make. She had come to Australia as the Lord’s messenger to minister to the people. To what extent could she do this while her activities were curtailed by physical suffering? She could not travel, and her oral ministry must be within easy driving distance. She could write, for miraculously her right hand was free from pain, but this writing had to be done under certain conditions. {4BIO 33.5}
§34
那是1892年2月中旬——南半球的夏末。她备限制在普雷斯顿的家中整整一个月，身体也没有好转，于是她决定去墨尔本对慧中讲道。2月13日，安息日的早晨，她坐着马车来到了出版社的联邦大厅。她的儿子威利和J. H.斯托克顿扶着她走上长长的石阶，来到教堂。她站在那里讲了将近一个小时。关于这段经历，她写道:“主在我对我们的信徒说话时使我焕然一新，我没有受到任何伤害。”（《文稿》1892年40号）{4BIO 33.6}
§35
It was mid-February, 1892—late summer in the Southern Hemisphere. After being confined to her home in Preston for a full month and experiencing no improvement in health, she determined to speak to the congregation in Melbourne. Sabbath morning, February 13, she was taken in her carriage to Federal Hall at the publishing house. Her son Willie and J. H. Stockton carried her up the long flight of stone steps to the chapel. There she stood and spoke for nearly an hour. Of the experience she wrote: “The Lord refreshed me while speaking to our people, and I received no harm.”—Manuscript 40, 1892. {4BIO 33.6}
§36
当她的身体状况继续恶化，她不能站着演讲，但她并不放弃；她演讲的时候，搬条凳子坐在讲台上讲。此时，人们开始对回升出版社的实体厂房进行改造，在这个过程中，会议室成为了工厂的一部分。附近的艾伯特大厅租来安息日聚会。{4BIO 34.1}
§37
As her physical condition worsened she could not stand to speak, but she would not give up; she spoke while sitting in a chair on the platform. By this time, work was begun in remodeling the physical plant of the Echo Publishing House, in the process of which the meeting room became a part of the factory. Nearby Albert Hall was rented for Sabbath meetings. {4BIO 34.1}
§38
3月27日，星期天，她把自己的经历写到给儿子威利的信中，当时威利正在新西兰参加她预计要参加的会议: {4BIO 34.2}
§39
Of her experience she wrote on Sunday, March 27, to her son Willie, who was in New Zealand attending the meetings she had expected to attend: {4BIO 34.2}
§40
昨晚我睡得很少。我上床后在第一次尝试中小睡了一个小时，直到午夜才入睡，然后睡了一个小时，清醒了两个小时。我已经几个星期没有比这样更好的了。{4BIO 34.3}
§41
Last night I slept little. I had one hour’s nap in the first trial after going to bed, then slept no more until midnight, then one hour’s sleep, then two hours’ wakefulness. I cannot handle myself any better than I have done for weeks. {4BIO 34.3}
§42
安息日下了些雨，阴云密布。我告诉过他们我会跟他们说话，但我异常虚弱，而且随时都有下雨的危险。我终于决定走了，云散了。会众很多，他们饶有兴趣地听着。我和玛丽安、安妮、梅和玛丽启程回家时，天又下雨又冷。我们在艾伯特大厅聚会。我很高兴我去了;别以为它伤害了我。（《信函》1892年64号） {4BIO 34.4}
§43
Sabbath it rained some—was very cloudy. I had told them I would speak to them, but I was unusually weak and the weather threatened every moment to be rainy. I finally decided to go and the clouds dispersed. There was a large congregation and they listened with interest. It rained and was cold when we started homeward, Marian, Annie, May, and I. We had meeting in Albert’s Hall. I was glad I went; do not think it hurt me.—Letter 64, 1892. {4BIO 34.4}
§44
她再次提到了安息日的聚会: {4BIO 34.5}
§45
She referred again to the Sabbath meeting: {4BIO 34.5}
§46
我很高兴我上个安息日讲话。丹尼尔斯姐妹说，她很惊讶，因为她知道我的虚弱，我说话如此清晰有力。如果主给我力量在这里做一点点工作，我知道这一点点正是所需要的。我不会放弃我的勇气。我要寄希望于上帝,尽管我起来坐下喝行动都有疼痛。……
§47
I am glad I spoke last Sabbath. Sister Daniells said that she was surprised, knowing my feebleness, that I spoke with such clearness and power. If the Lord will give me strength to do a little here, I know that little is needed. I will not give up my courage. I will hope in God, although I cannot rise up or sit down or move without pain....
§48
主……看顾我。祂不会让我受苦和绝望的。我安息日要讲道，因为一想到我能这样做，我就会精神抖擞。（《信函》1892年65号）{4BIO 34.6}
§49
The Lord has ... care for me. He will not leave me to suffering and despair. I shall speak Sabbaths, for the thought I can do that much refreshes me.—Letter 65, 1892. {4BIO 34.6}
§50
一周后，她在给赫斯格夫妇的信中写道: {4BIO 35.1}
§51
As she wrote to Elder and Mrs. Haskell a week later, she reported: {4BIO 35.1}
§52
我设法安息日讲道。当我的马车驶到大厅时，斯蒂芬?贝尔登和拜伦或别的什么兄弟就会来到我身边，他们一人一边扶着我走到大厅，登上讲台，坐到我的椅子上。 {4BIO 35.2}
§53
I manage to speak Sabbaths. Stephen Belden and Byron or some other brother is at hand when my carriage drives up to the hall, and one on each side helps me to the hall and up the steps onto the platform, to my chair. {4BIO 35.2}
§54
我已经以这种方式讲过七次了;这对我来说是一种屈辱，但上帝确实给了我为大家说话的机会。我和会众都受到了祝福。上周日下午，我向我们的姐妹们介绍了服装改革。我们参加了一个很好的会议，我希望我所说的这些话能够启发一些困惑的头脑。（《信函》1892年10号） {4BIO 35.3}
§55
I have spoken seven times in this fashion; it is quite a humiliation to me, but the Lord does give me words for the people. I am blessed myself and the congregation is blessed. I spoke last Sunday afternoon to our sisters on dress reform. We had a good attendance and I hope the words spoken will enlighten some befogged minds.—Letter 10, 1892. {4BIO 35.3}
§56
就这样，她又坚持了几个星期，直到她的身体状况恶化到不能再去参加演讲的地步。然而，区会和出版社的职员经常到她的住所请教。{4BIO 35.4}
§57
Thus she continued for a few more weeks, until her physical condition worsened to the point that she could no longer meet speaking appointments. However, conference and publishing-house officials frequently visited her at her residence for counsel. {4BIO 35.4}
§58
在很大的困难下写作
§59
Writing Under Great Difficulties
§60
她可以写，但不是没有痛苦。4月6日，她近乎绝望地写道: {4BIO 35.5}
§61
Writing she could do, but not without suffering. In almost desperation she wrote on April 6: {4BIO 35.5}
§62
我一动手或脚就会感到疼痛。我的胳膊很痛，这几个月来我写的东西时一直很痛。在过去的两个星期里，我的手臂变得更加无力了，我可能不得不放下笔，直到仁慈的主看到我适合康复为止。我由于缺乏睡眠而疲惫不堪，大自然不愿再受欺骗;我在椅子上睡着了，试着写的时候睡着了。这样的情况，我有时感到非常沮丧，但主会安慰我，祝福我。 （《信函》1892年10号） {4BIO 35.6}
§63
I am unable to move hands or limbs without pain. My arms are so painful, the writing I have done for the last few months has been in constant suffering. For the last two weeks my arms have been more helpless, and I may be compelled to lay down my pen until the Lord in His mercy sees fit to restore me. I am worn out for want of sleep, and nature refuses to be cheated longer; I fall asleep in my chair, fall asleep while trying to write. I have felt very much depressed at times over this condition of things, but then the Lord comforts and blesses me.—Letter 10, 1892. {4BIO 35.6}
§64
她一直满怀希望地撰写基督生平，但首先她需要给个人和机构写信，因为上帝给了她亮光。在3月21日的一封信中，她提到了她通信的范围: {4BIO 35.7}
§65
She was ever hopeful of working on the life of Christ, but first she needed to write messages to individuals and institutions as the Lord gave her light. In a letter written March 21, she mentioned the coverage in her correspondence: {4BIO 35.7}
§66
美国的邮件给我带来了很大的负担，我希望我现在可以安心了，不用再写那么多我不敢忽视的信了。我在疗养院(巴特尔克里克)、出版社和各教会为他们留下了我的证言。我已经把我的证言留给了太平洋出版社的经理们，留给了健康休养所的经理们，也留下了我关于澳大利亚和这里需要安排好之事的证言。 {4BIO 35.8}
§67
The American mail bore from me a great burden, and I hope my mind will be at rest now that I shall not have to write so many letters which I dare not neglect. I have left my testimony for them at the Sanitarium [Battle Creek], at the publishing office, and to the churches. I have left my testimony to the Pacific Press managers, to the health retreat managers, and have left my testimony in regard to Australia and the things that need to be set in order here. {4BIO 35.8}
§68
. 我不知道下一封来的邮件会带来什么，但我不愿承担我迄今为止所做的事情。我要尽我的力量，撰写基督生平。（《信函》1892年62号） {4BIO 36.1}
§69
I know not what the next coming mail may bring, but I shall not undertake what I have hitherto done. I shall write, as I have strength, on the life of Christ.—Letter 62, 1892. {4BIO 36.1}
§70
快乐的插曲——《拾级就主》受欢迎
§71
A Cheering Interlude—Steps to Christ Received
§72
这时候，也有一件令人高兴的事情，就是从美国寄来了一本《拾级就主》，由芝加哥弗莱明H.雷维尔公司出版。在4月1日出版的《圣经回声》的中缝登载了一个启事，通告了这件事。{4BIO 36.2}
§73
One item of real interest that the mails from America did bring was a copy of Steps to Christ, published by Fleming H. Revell and Company, of Chicago. It was announced on the back page of the Bible Echo for April 1. {4BIO 36.2}
§74
两个月后登载的另一则中缝通知中指出，美国民众以非同寻常的态度接受了这本书。本书出版者雷维尔的一则通知，被加上了标题“一本值得注意的书”翻印过来： {4BIO 36.3}
§75
The reception of the book in the United States was phenomenal, as indicated by another back-page note that appeared two months later. An announcement from the publisher, Revell, was reproduced under the title “A Remarkable Book”: {4BIO 36.3}
§76
一个出版商在一本新书第一次发行仅六周之内，有幸宣布对这本书进行第三次印刷，这是不多见的！然而，这是鼓舞人心的事实！这本书就是怀爱伦写的非常有帮助、非常实用的著作《拾级就主》。要是你打算读这本书，你就会对这本书扩大发行非常感兴趣。{4BIO 36.4}
§77
It is not often that a publisher has the opportunity of announcing a third edition of a new work within six weeks of the first issue. This, however, is the encouraging fact in connection with Mrs. E. G. White’s eminently helpful and practical work, Steps to Christ. If you will read this work, it will ensure your becoming deeply interested in extending its circulation. {4BIO 36.4}
§78
《拾级就主》对于慕道者是一本有指导意义的书；它鼓舞年轻的基督徒，抚慰和激励成熟的信徒。这本书给人的帮助是独一无二的！ 4BIO 36.5}
§79
Steps to Christ is a work to guide the inquirer, to inspire the young Christian, and to comfort and encourage the mature believer. The book is unique in its helpfulness. {4BIO 36.5}
§80
《圣经回声》的编辑补充说，他们正在编辑部准备出一版。这是在北美以外地区印刷的第一版《拾级就主》。从那时起，这本书已经以一百多种语言出版，总发行量达数百万册。 {4BIO 36.6}
§81
The editor of the Bible Echo added that preparations were being made to publish an edition of the book at their office. Theirs was the first edition of Steps to Christ to be printed outside North America. Since then, the book has appeared in more than one hundred languages, with an aggregate distribution counted in millions. {4BIO 36.6}
§82
Pressing on with the Writing
§83
怀爱伦一直肩负着写作的任务。她在5月写给赫斯格夫妇的一封信中描述了自己的工作: {4BIO 36.7}
§84
The task of writing was ever with Ellen White. She described her work in a letter to S. N. Haskell and his wife, written in May: {4BIO 36.7}
§85
我寄了60页我亲手写的信纸。首先，我的毛布椅子是垫上枕头的，然后它们有一个框架，一个铺上枕头的箱子，我的四肢可以在搁在上面，下面有一个橡胶枕头。我的桌子被拉得离我更近，我就把纸放在膝盖上的硬纸板上写字。昨天这样安排我可以坐两个小时。我的臀部会变得很痛，然后我必须改变姿势。梅.沃林把我放在弹簧床上，用枕头把我托起来。也许我可以坐上一个多小时，这是一种变化，但我很庆幸我还能写作。在撰写基督生平，我没有作过一件勉强的事。我有很多其他的事情要做，所以我能做的就是保持邮件的供应。我希望我的手臂能恢复，但还是很疼。我写信给你们，是希望把这些抄下来，因为如果我等到把它们抄下来，你就会得到的很少。我答应给《青年导报》写文章，给《时兆》、《安息日学工作者》写文章。传道杂志和《回声》没有困扰我，因为它们从其他的刊物中取材;但上帝的旨意必成就。（《信函》1892年16c号） {4BIO 37.1}
§86
I send in this mail sixty pages of letter paper written by my own hand. First, my hair-cloth chair is bolstered up with pillows, then they have a frame, a box batted with pillows which I rest my limbs upon, and a rubber pillow under them. My table is drawn up closer to me and I thus write with my paper on a cardboard in my lap. Yesterday I was enabled to sit two hours thus arranged. My hips will become so painful, then I must change position. She [May Walling] then gets me on the spring bed and bolsters me up with pillows. I may be able to sit some over one hour, and thus it is a change, but I am thankful I can write at all. I have done nothing scarcely on the life of Christ. I am burdened with other matters, so it is all that I can do to keep the mails supplied. I have hoped my arms would be restored, but they are still very painful. I write to you that I wish to have these copied, for if I should wait to have them copied, you would get but very little. I promised articles for the Instructor, articles for the Signs, Sabbath School Worker. Missionary papers and the Echo do not trouble me, for they take from other papers; but the will of God be done.—Letter 16c, 1892. {4BIO 37.1}
§87
7月初，当她写信给巴特尔克里克的J. H.凯洛格医生时，她再次提到了她的工作状况: {4BIO 37.2}
§88
In early July, as she wrote to Dr. J. H. Kellogg in Battle Creek, she mentioned again the conditions under which she worked: {4BIO 37.2}
§89
我寄出的每一个邮件都有一百到二百页文字，其中多数要么是象我现在这样在床上半躺半坐，靠着枕头写的，要么是坐在一个不舒服的椅子上支撑着写的我坐起来时，臀部和脊柱的下半部非常疼痛。若是能在这个国家（澳大利亚）找到你们疗养院里那样的安乐椅，我就会赶快买一把，即使要花费30美金：但是那种风格的家具不是在这里生产的。所有的家具都是从英国、马萨诸塞州波士顿运来的。又好又大又宽敞、有软弹簧的椅子是不可能买到的。{4BIO 37.3}
§90
Every mail has taken from one to two hundred pages from my hand, and most of it has been written either as I am now propped up on the bed by pillows, half lying, or half sitting, or bolstered up sitting in an uncomfortable chair. It is very painful to my hip and to the lower part of my spine to sit up. If such easy chairs were to be found in this country as you have at the Sanitarium, one would be readily purchased by me, if it cost $30; but furniture of that style is not manufactured here. All furniture is transported from England, and Boston, Massachusetts. A good, large, roomy chair with soft springs is not obtainable. {4BIO 37.3}
§91
我必须靠着椅背垫着枕头，斜倚在上面。……我一点也不丧胆。我感到天天受着扶持。……我享受与上帝甜蜜的交通。（《信函》1892年第18a号）{4BIO 37.4}
§92
It is with great weariness that I can sit erect and hold up my head. I must rest it against the back of the chair on the pillows, half reclining.... I am not at all discouraged. I feel that I am sustained daily.... I enjoy sweet communion with God.—Letter 18a, 1892. {4BIO 37.4}
§93
她偶尔会在日记中记下她寄给美国的邮件。6月12日，她写道: {4BIO 37.5}
§94
Occasionally she noted in her diary just what she was sending off in the American mail. On June 12 she wrote: {4BIO 37.5}
§95
所写的文字:传道工作，15页信纸。A. T.罗宾逊，13页。《支持圣工》，给史密斯长老的信，24页;赫斯格长老, 16页;英格斯姐妹，5页;给洛克伍德弟兄，5页;给萨拉.麦因特弗, 2页;给艾拉?梅和梅布尔?怀特，4页。给C. H.琼斯关于出版和卫生机构的大量文稿。给J. E.怀特，12页。写给韦塞尔弟兄5页信，写给伦敦的E. J瓦格纳长老;给英国沃什伯恩长老，1页。（《文稿》1892年33号）{4BIO 38.1}
§96
Articles written: missionary work, 15 pages letter paper. A. T. Robinson, 13 pages. Sustaining the Cause, letter to Elder Smith, 24 pages; Elder Haskell, 16 pages; Sister Ings, 5 pages; Brother Lockwood, 5 pages; Sara McEnterfer, 2 pages; Ella May and Mable White, 4 pages. Large document to C. H. Jones in regard to publishing and health institutions. J. E. White, 12 pages. Sent Brother Wessels 5 letter pages, to Elder E. J. Waggoner to London; to Elder Washburn, England, 1 page.—Manuscript 33, 1892. {4BIO 38.1}
§97
这些信件的背后是怀爱伦所看到的异象。在一个不眠之夜之后，她写了一封长达十二页的信给凯洛格医生，信中写道: {4BIO 38.2}
§98
Back of many of these letters were visions in which situations were opened up to Ellen White. After one very restless night she wrote a twelve-page letter to Dr. Kellogg, concerning which she noted: {4BIO 38.2}
§99
我蒙指示要告诫他谨慎行事，否则他就肯定会失去方位。有许多令人困惑的问题出现要作决定，他需要大智慧以便持守主的道路。……他需要一颗谦卑痛悔的心，他行事为人需要不断倚靠上帝。（《文稿》1892年34号） {4BIO 38.3}
§100
I am instructed to caution him to move guardedly, else he will surely lose his bearings. There are many perplexing questions coming up for decision, and he will need great wisdom in order to keep the way of the Lord.... He needs a humble, contrite heart, and he needs to walk in constant dependence upon God.—Manuscript 34, 1892. {4BIO 38.3}
§101
有时通信似乎有点失衡，寄出去的多,收回来的少。她写信给赫斯格说: {4BIO 38.4}
§102
Sometimes it seemed that the correspondence was a bit one-sided, more going out than coming in. She wrote to S. N. Haskell: {4BIO 38.4}
§103
邮件的到来对我们来说是一件大事。……我们非常高兴听到在宽广的水域另一边的消息。如果我们的朋友知道他们的话语是多么珍贵，我想我们会收到更多的信。但有一点有趣的是，几乎我们所有的信件都假定对方写了所有的详情。感谢你的详细来信，你没有辜负我的期望。（《信函》1892年10号）{4BIO 38.5}
§104
The coming of the mail is a great event with us.... We were so glad to hear from the other side of the broad waters. If our friends only knew how precious are words from them, I think we should receive more communications. But it is a little amusing that nearly all our correspondents assume that others have written all particulars. I thank you for your full letters and that you do not disappoint my expectations.—Letter 10, 1892. {4BIO 38.5}
§105
日复一日，一周又一周，情况都没有太大的变化——饱受折磨、睡眠中断的漫长冬夜，然后是在温度很低的房间里努力写作的日子。每一天都是一场保持勇气的战斗。她在脑海中一再回顾总会邀请她去澳大利亚的事，以及去年在美国和澳大利亚举行的各种活动。有些时候，她觉得她在澳大利亚是上帝的旨意;在其他时候，她觉得她的到来可能是个错误。 {4BIO 38.6}
§106
Day after day and week after week the situation was without much change—long winter nights of intense suffering and broken sleep, then days in poorly heated rooms trying to write. Every day it was a battle to keep up courage. Again and again she reviewed in her mind the matter of the invitation from the General Conference for her to go to Australia and of the various events of the past year, in America and Australia. On some days it seemed to her to be certain that it was God’s will that she was in Australia; at other times she felt her coming might have been a mistake. {4BIO 38.6}
§107
7月5日，她在给凯洛格医生的信中提到了自己的感受和态度。 {4BIO 39.1}
§108
On July 5, in her letter to Dr. Kellogg, she mentioned her feelings and attitudes: {4BIO 39.1}
§109
我初发现自己处于无助的状况时，曾深深懊悔越过了大洋来到这里。我为什么没在美国呢？为什么在这个国家付出这样的代价？一次又一次我本可以在床上把脸埋在被子里痛哭一场。但我没有长久沉湎于哭个痛快。我对自己说：“怀爱伦，你是什么意思？你来到澳大利亚岂不是因为你感到有义务到总会认定最需要你去的地方吗？你岂不是一直这样做的吗？”我说：“是的。”“那么你为什么感到几乎被抛弃并灰心了呢？这难道不是仇敌的工作吗？”我说：“我相信是这样。”我很快擦干眼泪并说：“够了。我不要再看黑暗面了。无论生死，我把保守自己灵魂的事情交托给祂，祂为我舍命。” {4BIO 39.2}
§110
When I first found myself in a state of helplessness, I deeply regretted having crossed the broad waters. Why was I not in America? Why, at such expense, was I in this country? Time and again I could have buried my face in the bed quilts and had a good cry. But I did not long indulge in the luxury of tears. I said to myself, “Ellen G. White, what do you mean? Have you not come to Australia because you felt that it was your duty to go where the conference judged it best for you to go? Has not this been your practice?” I said, “Yes.” “Then why do you feel almost forsaken, and discouraged? Is not this the enemy’s work?” I said, “I believe it is.” I dried my tears as quickly as possible and said, “It is enough; I will not look on the dark side anymore. Live or die, I commit the keeping of my soul to Him who died for me.” {4BIO 39.2}
§111
然后我就相信主会把一切事情都做好，而且在这八个月的无助中，我一点没有泄气，也毫无疑惑。{4BIO 39.3}
§112
I then believed that the Lord would do all things well, and during this eight months of helplessness, I have not had any despondency or doubt. {4BIO 39.3}
§113
现在我把这件事看作主伟大计划中的一部分，是为了祂在这个国家的子民的好处，为了祂在美国的子民的好处，也为了我的好处。我虽无法解释为什么，也说不清是怎么回事，但我相信是这样。我在我的痛苦中是幸福的。我能信靠我的天父。我不会怀疑祂的爱。我日夜有一个不住看顾我的保护者，我要赞美主，因祂的赞美在我的嘴唇上，因这来自一颗充满感恩的心。（《信函》1892年第18a号）{4BIO 39.4}
§114
I now look at this matter as a part of the Lord’s great plan, for the good of His people here in this country, and for those in America, and for my good. I cannot explain why or how, but I believe it. And I am happy in my affliction; I can trust my heavenly Father. I will not doubt His love. I have an ever-watchful guardian day and night, and I will praise the Lord, for His praise is upon my lips because it comes from a heart full of gratitude.—Letter 18a, 1892. {4BIO 39.4}
§115
抹油和特别的祷告来求医治
§116
Anointing and Special Prayer for Healing
§117
尽管怀爱伦和她的丈夫，曾应许多人的请求，和其它人一道参加过为病人抹油祷告，她却迟迟没有为她自己发出这样的请求。经受了数月病痛折磨，她仍然没有好转的迹象；虽然她和她的随从护士采用适宜的水治疗法，尽了她们最大的努力，她还是一点也没有好起来。于是，她想到她要利用她作为基督徒的特权，把弟兄们召集起来，为她抹油；并为她的康复祈祷。当她思考这个问题和把一般情况下为病人的康复而祈祷通盘考虑时，写下了一番话： {4BIO 39.5}
§118
Although Ellen White, as well as her husband, had responded a number of times to requests to join others in the service of anointing the sick and praying for their special healing, she deferred making such a request for herself. But after long months of suffering and no evidence of improvement, and although she and her attendants had done all that they could with proper hydrotherapy treatments, she was still almost helpless. Now her mind turned to what it was her privilege to do, to ask the brethren to come and anoint her and pray for her healing. While pondering this, and the whole matter of prayer for the healing of the sick in general, she wrote a statement: {4BIO 39.5}
§119
我在生病期间想了很多关于为病人祈祷的事，我相信，如果在任何地方都应该为病人献上祈祷（当然也应该），那么就应该在疗养院献上祈祷，以减轻和恢复患病受苦的人。然而在为病人祈祷这件事上，我不应该走与弟兄们完全相同的路线。我一直在思考过去就这个问题曾呈现在我面前的许多事。（《文稿》1892年26A号）{4BIO 40.1}
§120
During my sickness I have thought much in reference to praying for the sick, and I believe that if prayer should be offered for the sick at any place, and it certainly should, it should be offered at the Sanitarium for the relief or restoration of the suffering. But in this matter of praying for the sick, I could not move in exactly the same lines as have my brethren. I have been considering many things that have been presented to me in the past in reference to this subject.—Manuscript 26a, 1892. {4BIO 40.1}
§121
她讨论了这样一种情况:人们很少注意自然规律，但当疾病袭来时，他们会请求上帝子民的祈祷，并请来教会的长老。那些被请来祈祷的人，对要求者的生活方式几乎一无所知，这可能与主所要求的相去甚远，却祈求上帝施行神迹来恢复健康。这样的祈祷，如果得到肯定的回答，将为无视自然法则的生命的延续开辟道路，而自然法则是上帝为人类自身的利益而制定的。她写信劝告说: {4BIO 40.2}
§122
She discussed the situation in which individuals pay little heed to the laws of nature, yet when illness strikes they solicit the prayers of God’s people and call for the elders of the church. Those called in to pray, with little knowledge of the manner of life of the petitioner, which may be far from what the Lord calls for, petition God to restore health miraculously. Such a prayer, if answered in the affirmative, would open the way for a continuation of a life lived in disregard to nature’s laws, which were instituted by God for mankind’s own good. She wrote admonishingly: {4BIO 40.2}
§123
要向那些来求你代祷的人陈明这些观念。我们是人；我们看不透你的心思或意念，也不知道你人生的秘密。这些只有你自己和上帝知道。你现在若是悔改自己的罪，你若是能看出自己在什么场合行事与上帝所赐的亮光相反，没有尊重身体，就是上帝的殿，而是用坏习惯使身体即基督的财产退化了，就要向上帝承认这些事。P……{4BIO 40.3}
§124
Present these thoughts to the persons who come asking your prayers: “We are human, we cannot read the heart, or know the secrets of your life. These are known only to yourself and God. If you now repent of your sin, if you can see that in any instance you have walked contrary to the light given you of God, and have neglected to give honor to the body, the temple of God, ... [and] by wrong habits have degraded the body which is Christ’s property, make confession of these things to God.... {4BIO 40.3}
§125
你若是犯了扣留上帝当得的十分之一和供物的罪，就要向上帝和教会承认你的罪，并且听从祂所赐给你的指示：“你们要将当纳的十分之一全然送入仓库”（玛3:10）。{4BIO 40.4}
§126
If you have sinned by withholding from God His own in tithes and offerings, confess your guilt to God and to the church, and heed the injunction that has been given you, “Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse.” ... {4BIO 40.4}
§127
为病人祷告是一件极其严肃的事，我们不应以随便匆忙的方式从事这项工作。应该调查那些愿意得到健康之福的人是否沉湎于说坏话、离间和纷争。他们有没有在教会的弟兄姐妹们中间撒下不和的种子呢？他们若是做了这些事，就应在上帝和教会面前承认。承认错误之后，才可照着上帝的灵可能感动你们的，将代祷的问题以恳切和信心呈在上帝面前。（同上）{4BIO 40.5}
§128
Praying for the sick is a most solemn thing, and we should not enter upon this work in any careless, hasty way. Examination should be made as to whether those who would be blessed with health have indulged in evil speaking, alienation, and dissension. Have they sowed discord among the brethren and sisters in the church? If these things have been committed they should be confessed before God and before the church. When wrongs have been confessed, the subjects of prayer may be presented before God in earnestness and faith, as the Spirit of God may move upon you.—Ibid. {4BIO 40.5}
§129
在这番话里，看起来是讲她自己和别人，怀爱伦写了许多东西，成为《服务真诠》一书中的篇章《为病人祈祷》的脉络。事实上，这篇手稿可能成为了这一章的基础。{4BIO 41.1}
§130
In this statement, seemingly intended for herself, as well as others, Ellen White wrote much in the vein presented in the chapter “Prayer for the Sick” in The Ministry of Healing. In fact, this manuscript probably formed the basis for the chapter. {4BIO 41.1}
§131
作好了她在为病人祈祷的陈述中所写的心理上的准备后，她把弟兄们召集到她家里，为她涂油，并为她的康复而祈祷。这件事发生在5月20日，星期五。她在她的日记中写道： {4BIO 41.2}
§132
After the preparation of heart that accompanied her writing on prayer for the sick, Ellen White called upon the brethren on Friday, May 20, to come to her home and anoint her and pray for her healing. Of this, she wrote in her diary: {4BIO 41.2}
§133
昨天下午，（A.G.）丹尼尔斯长老和他的妻子，(G.C.)坦尼和他的妻子，还有斯托克顿和史密斯弟兄应我的要求来到我们的住宅，祈求主医治我。我们献上了最恳切的祷告，也都多多蒙福。我的疼痛减轻了，但没有复原。{4BIO 41.3}
§134
Yesterday afternoon Elder [A. G.] Daniells and his wife, Elder [G. C.] Tenney and his wife, and Brethren Stockton and Smith came to our home at my request to pray that the Lord would heal me. We had a most earnest season of prayer, and we were all much blessed. I was relieved, but not restored. {4BIO 41.3}
§135
现在我既尽己所能地遵照了圣经的指示，就要等待主来行事，相信祂会在祂自己的好时候医治我。我的信心握住那应许：“你们求，就必得着”（约16:24）。{4BIO 41.4}
§136
I have now done all that I can to follow the Bible directions, and I shall wait for the Lord to work, believing that in His own good time He will heal me. My faith takes hold of the promise, “Ask and ye shall receive” (John 16:24). {4BIO 41.4}
§137
我相信主垂听了我们的祷告。我希望能立刻从掳掠转回（伯42:10），按照我有限的判断力，似乎这样上帝会得到荣耀。在我们祷告的时辰中，我非常蒙福，我要牢牢地握住那时赐给我的保证：“我是你的救赎主；我要医治你。”（《文稿》1892年第19号，2SM 235）{4BIO 41.5}
§138
I believe that the Lord heard our prayers. I hoped that my captivity might be turned immediately, and to my finite judgment it seemed that thus God would be glorified. I was much blessed during our season of prayer, and I shall hold fast to the assurance then given me: “I am your Redeemer; I will heal you.”—Manuscript 19, 1892; Selected Messages 2:235). {4BIO 41.5}
§139
几天后，她写信给斯蒂芬?赫斯格: “我相信主垂听了我们的祷告。” 她怀着对主和祂持续的恩典坚定不移的信心接着说: {4BIO 41.6}
§140
She wrote to Stephen Haskell a few days later: “I did believe the Lord would restore me.” She followed with her undaunted confidence in the Lord and His sustaining grace, declaring: {4BIO 41.6}
§141
我能仰望祂为能帮助我的那一位。祂爱我，必在祂自己的好时候使我复原。我愿意把自己交托在祂手里吗？我愿意，在最近五个月的磨炼中，祂一直离我很近。（《信函》1892年第16g号）{4BIO 41.7}
§142
I can look to Him as one able to help me. One who loves me, who will restore me in His own good time. Will I trust myself in His hands? I will. He has been very nigh unto me the last five months of trial.—Letter 16g, 1892. {4BIO 41.7}