第04章 寡妇和鳏夫的再婚
§1
第04章 寡妇和鳏夫的再婚
§2
Chap. 4—Remarriage of Widows and Widowers
§3
老年人预期的婚姻——亲爱的黑尔弟兄：我要说，关于上一个邮班之前所收到的第一封来信，我没有这方面特别的亮光，故不能提供你所感兴趣的信息。我建议你去请教韦斯利.黑尔与他的妻子，因为他们认识你所考虑的那一个人，会给你提供合适的建议。我知道，正如你所说的，你年老的时候一定很孤独。如果你爱上一个人，对方也接受这爱，我并无异议。但我不认识你所考虑的那位女士，所以不能作为对双方都熟悉的人说话。{TSB 31.2}[1]
§4
Prospective Marriage in Old Age—Dear Brother Hare: I will say in regard to your first letter received in the mail before the last, I have no special light upon this subject and cannot give you information upon the point that interests you. I advise you to consult with Wesley Hare and his wife, as they know the one you have in mind and would be the?proper counsellors. I know, as you say, that you must be lonely in your old age, and if there is one whom you could love, and who would reciprocate that love, I see no objection. But as I do not know the lady you have in mind, I cannot speak as could one who knows both parties.?{TSB 31.2}[1]
§5
有一件事是肯定的：你知道你所服侍多年的主是你最可靠的顾问。把你的情况交托给那一位永不出错的主。我们的时间都是短暂的，需要为将来不朽的生活成熟起来。基督说：“你们心里不要忧愁；你们信上帝，也当信我。在我父的家里有许多住处；若是没有，我就早已告诉你们了。我去原是为你们预备地方去。我若去为你们预备了地方，就必再来接你们到我那里去，我在哪里，叫你们也在那里”（ 约14:1-3）。让我们以此为乐，尽量卸下自己的忧虑。{TSB 32.1}[2]
§6
One thing is certain: You know that He whom you have served for many years will be to you a safe Counsellor. Rest your case with Him who never makes a mistake. Our time now, both yours and mine, is short, and we need to be ripening for the future immortal life. Christ says, “Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto Myself; that where I am, there ye may be also” [John 14:1-3]. Let us rejoice in this, and take on just as few worries as possible.?{TSB 32.1}[2]
§7
老年是休息的时候——给老年和青年的邀请是：“凡劳苦担重担的人，可以到我这里来，我就使你们得安息。我心里柔和谦卑，你们当负我的轭，学我的样式；这样，你们心里就必得享安息。因为我的轭是容易的，我的担子是轻省的”（太11:28-30）。要用心灵和声音来感谢上帝提供可得甜美安息的港湾。你我都有特权接受邀请得到安息。我们希望自己的余生能尽量摆脱一切忧虑与困惑，使我们在基督的生命里得到休息。祂说：“我的轭是容易的，我的担子是轻省的。”{TSB 32.2}[3]
§8
The Later Years a Time of Repose—The invitation to old and young is, “Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls” [Matthew 11:28-30]. Thank the Lord, with heart and soul and voice, that there is a haven of rest, sweet rest. It is your privilege, and it is my privilege, to accept the invitation, and rest. We want now that our remnant of life should be as free as possible from every perplexity and care, that we shall have repose in the life of Christ. “My yoke,” He says, “is easy, and My burden is light.”?{TSB 32.2}[3]
§9
主不会使任何一个信靠祂的人失望。祂在凡事上是我们的初，终和至善。每当需要的时候，祂是我们随时的帮助。在服务的最后日子里，我们将……得到基督大能的支持，引导和保护。愿上帝祝福你，坚固你，使你最后的日子成为你最美好的日子，散发出祂慈爱感服人心的芬芳之气。我的弟兄，我衷心祝愿上帝赐福给你，保守你，让你在祂的爱中安息。 ——《怀爱伦信函》1898年70号 {TSB 32.3}[4]
§10
The Lord will not disappoint any who put their trust in Him. He will be first and last and best in everything to us. He will be a present help in every time of need. In these last days of service we shall ... be held, and led, and protected, by the?power of Christ. May the Lord bless and strengthen you, that your last days may be your best days, fragrant with the softening, subduing influence of His love. The Lord bless and keep you and give you repose in His love, is my most earnest desire for you, my brother.—Letter 70, 1898.?{TSB 32.3}[4]
§11
赫斯格的再婚——安息日傍晚，我们收到了赫斯格弟兄的来信。[赫斯格长老的第一位妻子于1894年过世。这封信是指1897年他的第二次婚姻。当时他已64岁]。我们很高兴听到你们喜结连理。愿上帝祝福你们的结合，使你们始终能互相帮助和支持。我们最真诚地祈愿上帝的平安临到你们。“你们去站在殿里，把这生命的道都讲给百姓听”（徒5:20）。{TSB 33.1}[5]
§12
Remarriage of S. N. Haskell—We received Brother Haskell’s [Elder S. N. Haskell’s first wife died in 1894. This letter refers to his second marriage, which took place in 1897, when he was 64 years old.] letter the evening after the Sabbath. We were glad to hear from you that your interests are united as one. May the Lord bless this union, that you may be a strength and support to one another at all times. May the peace of God rest upon you, is my sincere desire and earnest prayer. “Go, stand and speak ... To the people all the words of this life” [Acts 5:20].?{TSB 33.1}[5]
§13
赫斯格弟兄，我很高兴你得到了一位助手。这是我们一直盼望的。我们所从事的工作使我们在基督耶稣里合而为一，传播耶稣基督的知识。你们有权在新的婚姻中得到幸福，把福音传给在黑暗和错谬中的人。我们可以同心合意从事我所爱的伟大工作。有一个伟大的目标摆在我们面前，就是扩大基督的国度，增进祂的荣耀。在与此有关的一切事情上，我们藉基督徒的友谊联合在一起，与天上的生灵相交。……{TSB 33.2}[6]
§14
I am pleased, Brother Haskell, that you have a helper [Mrs. Haskell]. This is that which I have desired for some time. The work in which we are engaged has made us one in Christ Jesus to diffuse the knowledge of Jesus Christ. It is your privilege to have happiness in your new relation to each other, in ministering the gospel to those who are in darkness and error. We can sympathize and unite in the grand work that you and I love, and which is the one great object ever before us, the enlargement of the kingdom of Christ and the celebration of His glory. In everything which relates to this we are united in bonds of Christian fellowship, in companionship with heavenly intelligences....?{TSB 33.2}[6]
§15
根据所赐给我的亮光，我完全相信，通过你们作为圣洁媒介的联合努力，将有亮光反射出来，帮助许多在黑暗和错谬中的人得救。我知道你不是为自己活着，而是为了你所爱所服侍和崇拜的主而活。——《怀爱伦信函》1897年74a号{TSB 33.3}[7]
§16
Because of the light given me, I am fully possessed with the conviction that through your united agencies, as sanctified instrumentalities, light shall be reflected to the?salvation of many souls that are now in darkness and error. I know you have not lived unto yourselves but unto Him whom you love and whom you serve and worship.—Letter 74a, 1897.?{TSB 33.3}[7]
§17
对安德烈的劝勉——我劝你在最后一次返回欧洲之前结婚，是基于以下理由：首先，你需要有一位妻子照顾你。你把家人带到欧洲去，少不了一位伴侣作你孩子的好母亲，使这些孩子不至于在凡事上带着你思想的烙印，根据你的观念进行塑造。你的心态并不均衡。你需要在工作中加入新的成分。这种成分是你所不具备；其重要性也是你所不认识的。{TSB 34.1}[8]
§18
Advice to J. N. Andrews—I advised you to marry before you returned the last time to Europe for these reasons. First, you needed a wife to care for you and [you] should not have taken your family to Europe without a good companion to be a mother to your children, that these children might not in all things bear the stamp of your mind and be molded according to your ideas. Your mind is not equally balanced. You need another element brought into your labors that you do not possess and that you do not understand is really essential....?{TSB 34.1}[8]
§19
你保持鳏夫身份的想法是错误的。但关于这一点我不再说什么。一位才德兼备的女基督徒的影响，会中和你的思想倾向。你的专心致志，以及你观察与圣工有关一切宗教事务时的强烈光芒，导致你情绪低落；忧虑的情绪削弱了你的身体和精神。如果你当初能与一位持相反感觉的女士结合，她原会有能力帮助你摆脱消极的情绪，她不会放弃自己的个性，而会保持她的特性，对你的心灵发挥陶冶的作用；这样，你今天就会有体力抵挡疾病了。——《怀爱伦信函》1883年9号 {TSB 34.2}[9]
§20
Your ideas have been erroneous to preserve your life as a widower, but on this point I will say no more. The influence of a noble Christian woman of proper capabilities would have served to counteract the tendencies of your mind. The ability of concentrativeness, the intense light in which you view everything of a religious character connected with the cause and work of God, has brought upon you depression of spirits, a weight of anxiety that has weakened you physically and mentally. If you had been connected with one who would have opposite feelings, who would have ability to turn your thoughts away from gloomy subjects, who would not have yielded her individuality, but have preserved her identity and had a molding influence upon your mind, you would today have had physical strength and power to resist disease.—Letter 9, 1883.?{TSB 34.2}[9]
§21
你还记得我曾从得克萨斯州给你写信，要你在返回欧洲之前娶妻。你以为我若没有得到亮光就会给你这样的劝勉吗？你要相信，我发出那样的劝解是有原因的。我蒙指示看到你坚持自己的判断和观念太固执了。如果你愿意听你应该信任之人的劝告，少依赖自己的感觉和情绪，结果对你自己和上帝的圣工都要好得多。{TSB 34.3}[10]
§22
You remember I wrote you from Texas to obtain a wife before you returned to Europe. Do you suppose I would have given you such advice if I had had no light upon the?matter? Be assured, no such counsel would have been given you without good reason. I was shown [that] you follow your own judgment and your own ideas altogether too tenaciously. If you were more willing to be counseled by those you should confide in, and trust less to your own feelings and impressions, the result for yourself and for the cause of God would be far better.?{TSB 34.3}[10]
§23
我蒙指示看到你前往欧洲不带伴侣是不对的。如果你在出行之前，选择一位虔诚的女士作你孩子的母亲，你就是做了一件聪明事，你工作的效果就会是现在的十倍。——《怀爱伦信函》1883年1号 {TSB 35.1}[11]
§24
I was shown that you made a mistake in starting to Europe without a companion. If you had, before starting, selected you a godly woman who could have been a mother to your children, you would have done a wise thing, and your usefulness would have been tenfold to what it has been.—Letter 1, 1883.?{TSB 35.1}[11]
§25
儿子的干涉——[ 这封信是1902年7月28日写给总会原会长乔治.巴特勒的儿子。巴特勒的妻子于1901年11月15日离世。当时巴特勒68岁。受他儿子的影响，巴特勒没有与这封信中所提到的女士结婚。五年以后，在1907年，他与别人结婚 ] 。我请你不要责备你的父亲。你不应该这样认为，因为你父亲并没有做上帝所不喜悦的事。只有人给他定罪。他没有给他的子女丢脸。他遵守上帝的道，公正明断。上帝在他前面开路，使他为祂的子民成就伟大的善工。基督是他的救主。他会因瞻仰基督而变成祂的形像。{TSB 35.2}[12]
§26
A Son’s Interference?[This letter was written July 28, 1902, to the son of Elder George I. Butler, former president of the General Conference. Elder Butler’s wife died November 15, 1901, leaving him a widower at the age of 68. As a result of his son’s influence, Elder Butler did not marry the woman referred to in this letter. Five years later, in 1907, he married someone else.]—I beg of you not to reproach your father. You should not feel as you do, for your father has done nothing that God condemns. His condemnation exists only in the minds of men. He has in no wise dishonored his children. He is keeping the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment. The Lord is opening the way before him, that he may do a great and good work for His people. Christ is his Saviour, and in beholding Christ he will be changed into His image.?{TSB 35.2}[12]
§27
你的父亲素来是一位善良温柔的丈夫。多年以来，他忠心地服侍他所爱的妻子。死亡将他与长相厮守的妻子分离。然后他的姊妹也离他而去。他的家庭破裂了。你母亲已经去世，在这种情况下，他与一位因他而接受真理的女士相爱，这又有什么值得奇怪的呢？这位女士并不年轻，但足以帮助你的父亲工作。你父亲的年龄难道是他获得幸福的障碍吗？……{TSB 35.3}[13]
§28
Your father has been a kind, tender husband. For many years he served faithfully her whom he has always loved. Death separated him from the one who for so long has been his special charge. Then his sister was taken from him, and his home was broken up. Is it any wonder that under these?circumstances he should, after your mother’s death, become attached to a woman in whose conversion to the truth he was instrumental? This woman is not young, but of an age to be a help to him in his work. Should your father’s age have stood as a barrier to his happiness? ...?{TSB 35.3}[13]
§29
如果你的父亲娶了这位女士，我相信上帝会大大祝福他们。但事情既然已经是这样了，我认为不要再发展了。那些不认可这种结合的人要记住，有朝一日，他们必尝到这样做的后果。但我必须把这件事留给那些参与的人。?——《怀爱伦信函》1902年117号??{TSB 36.1}[14]
§30
Had your father married this lady, I believe that the Lord would greatly have blessed them both. But I do not think, seeing that the matter has been treated as it has, it will go any further. Those who refused to sanction this union should remember that one day they must meet the result of their action. But I must leave this matter with those who have been acting a part in it.—Letter 117, 1902.?{TSB 36.1}[14]
§31
当年龄相差很大时——现代人体力与道德水准低落的原因之一，就是婚姻双方的年龄相差太大。常有老夫少妻的现象。在这种情况下，丈夫的寿命往往得到延长，妻子却感到缺乏她所给予年迈丈夫的活力。任何女子都没有义务牺牲自己的生命和健康，即使她深爱比她年长得多的丈夫，并愿承担这样的牺牲。她需要克制自己的感情。她所考虑的，不单单是自己的利益。她要考虑，如果他们生下了孩子，那会怎么样呢？少夫老妻的情况更加糟糕。年龄差异很大的夫妻结合生下的后代，往往心智不平衡。体力也有缺陷。在这样的家庭里，常常会出现各种特别的，往往是痛苦的品性。孩子常常夭折，长大的孩子在很多情形下，其体力，智力和道德水准都有缺陷。{TSB 36.2}[15]
§32
When Ages Widely Differ—Another cause of the deficiency of the present generation in physical strength and moral worth, is, men and women uniting in marriage whose ages widely differ. It is frequently the case that old men choose to marry young wives. By thus doing, the life of the husband has often been prolonged, while the wife has had to feel the want of that vitality which she has imparted to her aged husband. It has not been the duty of any woman to sacrifice life and health, even if she did love one so much older than herself, and felt willing on her part to make such a sacrifice. She should have restrained her affections. She had considerations higher than her own interest to consult. She should consider, if children be born to them, what would be their condition? It is still worse for young men to marry women considerably older than themselves. The offspring of such unions in many cases, where ages widely differ, have not well-balanced minds. They have been deficient also in physical strength. In such families have frequently been manifested varied, peculiar, and often painful, traits of character. They often die prematurely, and those?who reach maturity, in many cases, are deficient in physical and mental strength, and moral worth.?{TSB 36.2}[15]
§33
父亲既心衰体弱，就很难预备好恰当地养育他年轻的家庭。--《信息选粹》 卷二 423-424页 {TSB 37.1}[16]
§34
The father is seldom prepared, with his failing faculties, to properly bring up his young family.—Selected Messages 2:423, 424.?{TSB 37.1}[16]
§35
需要明智的判断——亲爱的姊妹，我刚收到查尔斯.B的一封信。他是加利福尼亚州洛迪学校的学生。他恳请我为他的母亲求问上帝。他说他母亲正在考虑嫁给一位比她小得多的一个年青人。{TSB 37.2}[17]
§36
Need of Sound Judgment—Dear Sister: I have just received a letter from Charles B, a student in the school at Lodi, California, pleading with me to inquire of the Lord concerning his mother, whom he says is thinking of marrying a young man many years younger than herself.?{TSB 37.2}[17]
§37
听到一位46岁的母亲愿意危害自己的幸福，健康和影响力，与一个20岁的小伙子结婚，我很惊讶。这是一件奇怪的事情，表明缺乏明智的判断力。上帝会让这位姊妹考虑清楚这样做的后果。{TSB 37.3}[18]
§38
I am surprised to hear that a mother forty-six years of age will imperil her happiness, her welfare, and her influence by marrying a young man of twenty. This is a strange matter, and reveals lack of sound judgment. The Lord would have this sister consider carefully the sure result of such a course of action.?{TSB 37.3}[18]
§39
我们的姊妹在这件事情上，肯定处于一种奇怪的影响下，这种影响与圣灵的引导相反。作为三个孩子的母亲，她应当意识到自己对上帝的责任，在各方面谨慎行事，对孩子发挥良好的影响，不采取孩子们和其他许多人会认为很有问题的行动。她应该认识到自己对上帝和她儿女的责任需要极为慎重地考虑。{TSB 37.4}[19]
§40
In this matter, our sister must be under a strange influence—an influence contrary to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. As the mother of three children, she should feel her accountability to God to move discreetly in all respects, that she may hold her influence over her children, and not pursue any course that they and many others would regard as so questionable. She should realize that her duty to her God and to her children demands the most serious consideration.?{TSB 37.4}[19]
§41
我的姐妹：主没有参与这件事。那样的婚姻会带来奇怪的后果，摧毁一位母亲本应认真追求对儿女保持的影响力。我恳劝你要严肃地保持这种影响力。上帝已赐给你神圣的职责，要你作为孩子的母亲，按主的教训和警戒养育他们。你此时嫁给年仅20岁的小伙子，与你作为三个已成年儿子的母亲的职责很不相称。{TSB 37.5}[20]
§42
My sister, the Lord is not in this matter. Such a marriage would bring strange results—results that would destroy the influence that a mother should earnestly seek to maintain over her own children. This influence I entreat of you to guard sacredly. God has solemnly charged you, as the mother of your children, to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. For you at this time to take a youth of twenty as your husband would be strangely inconsistent with your responsibilities as a mother of three sons now grown to manhood.?{TSB 37.5}[20]
§43
在夜间我与你谈论这些事，将这样做的矛盾摆在你面前。我建议你运用自己的心智，努力帮助儿女们认识到热爱上帝话语的好处。要告诉你的孩子们，你是在救他们灵魂的工作上与上帝合作。{TSB 38.1}[21]
§44
In the night season I was talking with you concerning these matters, and setting before you the inconsistency of the course under contemplation. I advise you to exercise your ingenuity of mind in an effort to help your children to understand the advantages of loving the Word of God. Show your children that you are cooperating with the Lord in an effort to save their souls.?{TSB 38.1}[21]
§45
在夜间我蒙指示，你若迈出这奇怪的一步，众善之敌就必乘机败坏你的孩子们原本对你的尊重，使他们因你缺乏良好的判断力而看不起你。撒但正在寻找机会破坏你在家中，教会里和不信的人中间的影响。{TSB 38.2}[22]
§46
In the night season it was presented before me that if you should take this strange step, the enemy of all righteousness would use this as a means of ruining the respect that your children would otherwise have for you, and would create in their hearts a feeling of contempt for you because of your lack of good judgment. Satan is seeking to destroy your influence in the home and in the church, and among unbelievers as well.?{TSB 38.2}[22]
§47
过去我们有机会看到几起这样的婚姻，结果总是在家庭生活中造成很大的不幸。{TSB 38.3}[23]
§48
In past years we have had opportunity to observe several marriages of this sort, and the results have always been of a character to create great misery in the family life.?{TSB 38.3}[23]
§49
现在，我的姊妹，我劝你运用高尚的判断力行事。我劝你保守每一点影响力，用来荣耀上帝，给孩子们以智慧的劝导。你要为所能发挥的良好影响而在上帝面前负责。为你自己和孩子们的缘故，了结这件事情吧。{TSB 38.4}[24]
§50
Now, my sister, I appeal to you to act like a woman of superior judgment. Do, I beseech of you, preserve every jot of your influence, in order that you may use it to the glory of God in giving wise counsel to your own children. You are held accountable before God for the good influence you may now have the power of exerting. For your own sake, and for the sake of your children, cut this matter short.?{TSB 38.4}[24]
§51
在夜间我仍在说，作为真正的母亲，要给孩子树立对上帝有活泼信心的榜样。这样，你就必保持你本来可能永远丧失的尊重和信任了。——《怀爱伦信函》1910年26号??{TSB 38.5}[25]
§52
In the night season I was saying, Give your children, as a true mother, an example of living faith in God, and thus retain the respect and confidence that otherwise you might forever lose.—Letter 26, 1910.?{TSB 38.5}[25]