第24章 家中的爱
§1
第24章 家中的爱
§2
Chapter 24—Love in the Home
§3
（见第32章《迷恋和盲目的爱》
§4
人类真感情的泉源——我们彼此相爱是因为我们与上帝的共同关系。我们本是一家，理当彼此相爱，像祂爱我们一样。属世浅薄的礼貌，言不由衷的寒暄，如果与这种真诚圣洁而有教养的爱心相比，就像糠粃与麦子之别。--Lt63,1896.(SD101.){1MCP 211.1}[1]
§5
[See Chapter 32, “Infatuation and Blind Love.”]
§6
Source of True Human Affection—Our affection for one another springs from our common relation to God. We are one family, we love one another as He loved us. When compared with this true, sanctified, disciplined affection, the shallow courtesy of the world, the meaningless expression of effusive friendship, are as chaff to the wheat.—Letter 63, 1896?(Sons and Daughters of God, 101.)?{1MCP 211.1}[1]
§7
像基督那样爱人，意味着随时随地藉着仁慈的话语和颜悦色地表现无私的精神。……真诚的爱心，是源于天国的宝贵质量，会随着将芬芳分给别人而增加香味。--MS17,1899.(SD101.){1MCP 211.2}[2]
§8
To love as Christ loved means to manifest unselfishness at all times and in all places, by kind words and pleasant looks.... Genuine love is a precious attribute of heavenly origin, which increases its fragrance in proportion as it is dispensed to others.—Manuscript 17, 1899.?(Sons and Daughters of God, 101.)?{1MCP 211.2}[2]
§9
心心相印的爱情——要彼此相爱，互相体谅。这样，婚姻就不会是恋爱的坟墓，而是恋爱的开始了。真友情的暖、结同心的爱，是天国喜乐的预尝。……夫妻都要给予爱，而不要苛求对方的爱。--MH360,361(1905).{1MCP 211.3}[3]
§10
Love Binds Heart to Heart—Let there be mutual love, mutual forbearance. Then marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very beginning of love. The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven.... Let each give love rather than exact it.—The Ministry of Healing, 360, 361 (1905).?{1MCP 211.3}[3]
§11
爱情可能纯洁然而肤浅——爱情尽可清明如水晶，有纯净之美；但是因为还没有受过测验及试炼的缘故，也许仍嫌浮浅。因此你当在凡事上以基督为始，为终，为至善。你若常常地仰望祂，则你爱祂的心在受患难试验的时候，就能天天加深加强。你爱主的心既然加增，你们彼此之间的爱情亦可更深更强。“我们众人既然敞着脸得以看见主的荣光，好像从镜子里返照，就变成主的形状，荣上加荣，如同从主的灵变成的”（林后3:18）。--7T46(1902).{1MCP 212.1}[4]
§12
Affection May Be Pure but Shallow—Affection may be as clear as crystal and beauteous in its purity, yet it may be shallow because it has not been tested and tried. Make Christ first and last and best in everything. Constantly behold Him, and your love for Him will daily become deeper and stronger as it is submitted to the test of trial. And as your love for Him increases, your love for each other will grow deeper and stronger. “We all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory” (2 Corinthians 3:18).—Testimonies for the Church 7:46 (1902).?{1MCP 212.1}[4]
§13
爱如果不表达出来是不能长存的——交谊和慷慨的冲动既受到遏止，就会枯竭，心地就会变得冷漠。……不要让牵挂你的心因得不到仁爱和同情而饥饿。——MH360(1905).{1MCP 212.2}[5]
§14
Love Cannot Exist Without Expression—As the social and generous impulses are repressed, they wither, and the heart becomes desolate and cold.... Love cannot long exist without expression. Let not the heart of one connected with you starve for the want of kindness and sympathy.—The Ministry of Healing, 360 (1905).?{1MCP 212.2}[5]
§15
要温柔地对待爱这棵宝贵的植物——要温柔地对待爱这棵宝贵的植物，它就会变得强壮有力并且多结果子，表达出完全的品格。--Lt50,1893.{1MCP 212.3}[6]
§16
The Love Plant to Be Treated Tenderly—The precious plant of love is to be treated tenderly, and it will become strong and vigorous and rich in fruit-bearing, giving expression to the whole character.—Letter 50, 1893.?{1MCP 212.3}[6]
§17
爱的冲动不可抑制——你们要鼓励儿女一方面爱上帝，一方面彼此表白爱心。世上之所以有这么多心肠刚硬的人，就是因为真的爱情已经被人视为懦弱，并加以抑制和约束了。这些人所有优秀的本质，从小就受了抑制，除非上帝之爱的光融化了他们那冷酷无情的私心，他们的幸福必要永远遭受摧残了。如果我们希望自己的儿女具有耶稣的温慈，和天使向我们显示的同情，我们就必须鼓励儿童天然的慷慨仁爱的本性。--DA516(1898).{1MCP 212.4}[7]
§18
Loving Impulses Not to Be Stifled—Encourage the expression of love toward God and toward one another. The reason why there are so many hardhearted men and women in the world is that true affection has been regarded as weakness and has been discouraged and repressed. The better nature of these persons was stifled in childhood; and unless the light of divine love shall melt away their cold selfishness, their happiness will be forever ruined. If we wish our children to possess the tender spirit of Jesus and the sympathy that angels manifest for us, we must encourage the generous, loving impulses of childhood.—The Desire of Ages, 516 (1898).?{1MCP 212.4}[7]
§19
爱情不是情欲——爱情是一株发源于天国的树木。它不是无理性的，也不是盲目的，而是纯洁、神圣的。但是人本性的情欲则完全不同。纯洁的爱情在所有的计划中都寻求上帝的指导，与上帝的灵完全和谐；情欲则是顽梗，莽鲁，无理性和不顺约束的，并以所选择的对象为偶像。{1MCP 212.5}[8]
§20
Love Not Passion—Love is a plant of heavenly origin. It is not unreasonable; it is not blind. It is pure and holy.?But the passion of the natural heart is another thing altogether. While pure love will take God into all its plans and will be in perfect harmony with the Spirit of God, passion will be headstrong, rash, unreasonable, defiant of all restraint, and will make the object of its choice an idol.?{1MCP 212.5}[8]
§21
凡拥有真正爱情的人，必在一切言行上表显出上帝的恩惠。在筹划结婚的每一个步骤中，他们都表显出节制、纯朴、真诚、道德与信仰。--RH,1888年9月25日.(MYP459.){1MCP 213.1}[9]
§22
In all the deportment of one who possesses true love, the grace of God will be shown. Modesty, simplicity, sincerity, morality, and religion will characterize every step toward an alliance in marriage.—The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888. (Messages to Young People, 459.)?{1MCP 213.1}[9]
§23
真的爱心为成功的婚姻作准备——真的爱心是一种高尚圣洁的原则，其性质与那由于感情冲动，一遇严格考验就会忽然消失的爱是完全不同的。青年人要在父母家中忠于职责，这就能准备他们有自己成立家室的资格。他们务要在父母家中操练克己并显示仁爱、有礼和基督徒的同情。这样，就会在他们心中保持温暖而亲切的爱。从这样家庭出来的青年，到自己成家立业的时候，就知道如何增进他所选为终身配偶之人的幸福。于是婚姻就不会是恋爱的坟墓，乃是成为恋爱的开始了。--PP176(1890).{1MCP 213.2}[10]
§24
True Love Preparation for Successful Marriage—True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different in character from that love which is awakened by impulse and which suddenly dies when severely tested. It is by faithfulness to duty in the parental home that the youth are to prepare themselves for homes of their own. Let them here practice self-denial and manifest kindness, courtesy, and Christian sympathy. Thus love will be kept warm in the heart, and he who goes out from such a household to stand at the head of a family of his own will know how to promote the happiness of her whom he has chosen as a companion for life. Marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be only its beginning.—Patriarchs and Prophets, 176 (1890).?{1MCP 213.2}[10]
§25
爱心和自制使家庭和睦相处——父母务要在自己的品格和家庭的生活上表现天父的慈爱和恩惠。家庭务要充满温暖和喜乐。这对于儿女比田地或金钱更为宝贵。务要使家庭的爱在他们心中永存不灭，使他们后来在记忆中，以儿时的家庭为一个仅次于天国的平安和幸福的乐园。家庭中成员的性情不都是一样的，所以时常就有表现忍耐和宽容的必要；但藉着爱心和自制，大家就能密切联合，和睦相处了。--PP176(1890).{1MCP 213.3}[11]
§26
Love and Self-discipline Bind Family Together—Let parents seek, in their own character and in their homelife, to exemplify the love and beneficence of the heavenly Father. Let the home be full of sunshine. This will be worth far more to your children than lands or money. Let the home love be kept alive in their hearts, that they may look back upon the home of their childhood as a place of peace and happiness next to heaven. The members of the family do not all have the same stamp of character, and there will be frequent occasion for the exercise of patience and forbearance; but through love and?self-discipline all may be bound together in the closest union.—Patriarchs and Prophets, 176 (1890).?{1MCP 213.3}[11]
§27
真爱的特征（对一位固执丈夫的劝勉）——纯洁的爱弥足珍贵。它的感化力是属天的。它是深邃而持久的。它的表现不是间歇无常的。它不是一种自私的情欲。它结有果实。它会使你不断努力使你妻子幸福。你若拥有这种爱，就会自然而然地付出这种努力。它不会显出被迫。你若外出散步或参加聚会，它会使你象呼吸一样自然地选择你的妻子陪伴着你，并且力求使她因有你为伴而快乐。你看她的属灵造诣不如你，但我看到上帝更喜悦她的精神而不是你的精神。{1MCP 214.1}[12]
§28
Characteristics of True Love (counsel to an opinionated husband)—True, pure love is precious. It is heavenly in its influence. It is deep and abiding. It is not spasmodic in its manifestations. It is not a selfish passion. It bears fruit. It will lead to a constant effort to make your wife happy. If you have this love, it will come natural to make this effort. It will not appear to be forced. If you go out for a walk or to attend a meeting, it will be as natural as your breath to choose your wife to accompany you and to seek to make her happy in your society. You regard her spiritual attainments as inferior to your own, but I saw that God was better pleased with her spirit than with that possessed by yourself.?{1MCP 214.1}[12]
§29
你配不上你的妻子，她太好了，不合适你。她是一棵娇嫩、敏感的植物，需要温柔的照顾。她切愿遵行上帝的旨意。但她具有一种骄傲的精神，而且羞怯，不敢责备人。她若成为别人观察或议论的对象，对她来说就像死亡一样。你要履行你的婚姻誓言，爱护、尊重、珍惜你的妻子，她就会走出这种对她来说很自然的缄默含蓄、缺乏自信的境地。--2T416(1870).{1MCP 214.2}[13]
§30
You are not worthy of your wife. She is too good for you. She is a frail, sensitive plant; she needs to be cared for tenderly. She earnestly desires to do the will of God. But she has a proud spirit and is timid, shrinking from reproach. It is as death to her to be the subject of observation or remark. Let your wife be loved, honored, and cherished, in fulfillment of the marriage vow, and she will come out of that reticent, diffident position which is natural to her.—Testimonies for the Church 2:416 (1870).?{1MCP 214.2}[13]
§31
心灵渴求更高的爱——你的妻子应当努力摆脱她那种消极胆怯的矜持，在她的一切行动中培养坦率的作风。当你里面的高等能力被唤醒，且因运用而加强时，你就会更好地明白女性的需要；就会明白心灵渴求比存在于低等的兽性情欲中的爱更高等更纯洁的爱。你里面的这些低等情欲因受到鼓励和运用而一直在加强。现在你若本着敬畏上帝的心攻克己身，并且力求以纯洁高尚的爱对待你妻子，她本性中的需要就会得到满足了。你要将她放在你的心里；非常尊重她。--2T415(1870).{1MCP 214.3}[14]
§32
Soul Craves Higher Love—Your wife should make strong efforts to come out of her retired, dignified reserve and cultivate simplicity in all her actions. And when the higher order of faculties is aroused in you and strengthened by exercise, you will better understand the wants of women; you will understand that the soul craves love of a higher, purer order than exists in the low order of the animal passions. These passions have been strengthened in you by encouragement and exercise. If now in the fear of God you keep your body under, and seek to meet your wife with pure, elevated love, the wants of her nature will be met. Take her to your heart; esteem her highly.—Testimonies for the Church 2:415 (1870).?{1MCP 214.3}[14]
§33
爱要在言行中表达出来——L需要培养对他妻子的爱，会在言行上表达出来的爱。他应当培养柔情。他妻子天性敏感执着，需要珍惜呵护。每一句温柔、欣赏、亲爱鼓励的话语，她都会铭记于心，且将这些福气回馈给她丈夫。L那不表同情的本性需要与基督更密切的联络，以便上帝的爱征服软化他的刚硬和冷酷的矜持。{1MCP 215.1}[15]
§34
Love Finds Expression in Words and Deeds—L_____ needs to cultivate love for his wife, love that will find expression in words and deeds. He should cultivate tender affection. His wife has a sensitive, clinging nature and needs to be cherished. Every word of tenderness, every word of appreciation and affectionate encouragement, will be remembered by her and will reflect back in blessings upon her husband. His unsympathizing nature needs to be brought into close contact with Christ, that that stiffness and cold reserve may be subdued and softened by divine love.?{1MCP 215.1}[15]
§35
在言行上对自己的妻子表达温柔与同情，不会削弱或牺牲他男子汉的尊严；愿这种爱不局限于家庭圈子，而要延及家庭之外的人。L要亲自下一番工夫，是别人无法代替他的。他可以藉着在主的圣工中负责任而变得刚强。他的情爱应当集中于基督和天上的事，为永生塑造品格。--3T530,531(1875).{1MCP 215.2}[16]
§36
It will not be weakness or a sacrifice of manhood and dignity to give his wife expressions of tenderness and sympathy in words and acts; and let it not end with the family circle, but extend to those outside the family. L_____ has a work to do for himself that no one can do for him. He may grow strong in the Lord by bearing burdens in His cause. His affection and love should be centered upon Christ and heavenly things, and he should be forming a character for everlasting life.—Testimonies for the Church 3:530, 531 (1875).?{1MCP 215.2}[16]
§37
表现真爱的小小举动——爱若不在外在的行为中表现出来就不能再存在，就象没有燃料就不能维持燃烧一样。C弟兄啊，你觉得藉着仁慈的行为表现温柔，伺机用温柔的语言和亲切的尊重向你的妻子示爱委屈你的尊严。你的感觉易变，而且颇受周围环境的影响。你一直没有感到全神贯注于世界，然后把属世的困惑为难带到家庭中，让仇敌进入你家中乃是错的，是令上帝不悦的。你很容易这样敞开门户，但你会发现关上就没那么容易了；一旦你把仇敌带进来，就很难赶他出去了。要在你离开业务时就离开你业务上的挂虑困惑和烦恼。应该带着愉快的面容，带着同情、温柔与爱心回到你的家里来。这样，较比花钱为你的妻子买药或请医生要好得多了。如此行，就必导致身体的健康和心灵的力量。--1T695(1868).{1MCP 215.3}[17]
§38
The Little Acts Which Reveal True Love—Love can no more exist without revealing itself in outward acts than fire can be kept alive without fuel. You, Brother C, have felt that it was beneath your dignity to manifest tenderness by kindly acts and to watch for an opportunity to evince affection for your wife by words of tenderness and kind regard. You are changeable in your feelings and are very much affected by surrounding circumstances.... Leave your business cares and perplexities and annoyances when you leave your business. Come to your family with a cheerful countenance, with sympathy, tenderness, and love. This will be better than expending money for medicines or physicians for your wife. It will be health to the body and strength to the soul.—Testimonies for the Church 1:695 (1868).?{1MCP 215.3}[17]
§39
我们的日子虽有乌云遮盖，仍当以忍耐、感恩和仁爱为心中的阳光。--MH393(1905).{1MCP 216.1}[18]
§40
Let patience, gratitude, and love keep sunshine in the heart though the day may be ever so cloudy.—The Ministry of Healing, 393 (1905).?{1MCP 216.1}[18]
§41
父母榜样的力量——教育儿女尊敬父母的最好办法就是给他们机会看见父亲仁慈地关爱母亲，母亲尊敬和敬重父亲。孩子们藉着看到双亲之间的爱，才蒙引导遵守第五条诫命，听从这个命令：“你们作儿女的，要在主里听从父母，这是理所当然的”（弗6:1）。--RH,1892年11月15日.(AH198,199.){1MCP 216.2}[19]
§42
Power of Parents’ Example—The best way to educate children to respect their father and mother is to give them the opportunity of seeing the father offering kindly attentions to the mother and the mother rendering respect and reverence to the father. It is by beholding love in their parents that children are led to obey the fifth commandment and to heed the injunction, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”—The Review and Herald, November 15, 1892. (The Adventist Home, 198, 199.)?{1MCP 216.2}[19]
§43
父母反映耶稣的爱——何时母亲获得了儿女的信任并且教他们爱她和顺从她，她就给他们上了基督徒生活的第一课。他们必定热爱、信任和顺从自己的救主象热爱信任和顺从自己的父母一样。父母在忠心地照顾和正确的训练上向孩子表明的爱，隐约反映了耶稣对祂忠心子民的爱。--ST,1911年4月4日.(AH199.){1MCP 216.3}[20]
§44
Love of Jesus Mirrored in Parents—When the mother has gained the confidence of her children and taught them to love and obey her, she has given them the first lesson in the Christian life. They must love and trust and obey their Saviour as they love and trust and obey their parents. The love which in faithful care and right training the parent manifests for the child faintly mirrors the love of Jesus for His faithful people.—The Signs of the Times, September 9, 1886, par. 11. (The Adventist Home, 199.)?{1MCP 216.3}[20]
§45
母亲的爱代表基督的爱——当母亲教导儿女因爱她而顺从她时，这就是将基督徒生活的第一课教了他们。母亲的爱就是向儿女代表基督的爱。小孩子信赖并顺从母亲，就是在学习信赖并顺从救主。--DA515(1898).{1MCP 216.4}[21]
§46
Mother’s Love Is Illustration of Love of Christ—As the mother teaches her children to obey her because they love her, she is teaching them the first lessons in the Christian life. The mother’s love represents to the child the love of Christ, and the little ones who trust and obey their mother are learning to trust and obey the Saviour.—The Desire of Ages, 515 (1898).?{1MCP 216.4}[21]
§47
基督徒家庭的影响绝不会被忘记——因爱心、同情和温柔而美化的家庭是一个天使喜爱访问的地方，也是上帝得荣耀的地方。在儿童和青少年时期得到谨慎照管的基督徒家庭的影响是抵御世上腐败的最可靠保障。处在这种家庭氛围中的孩童会学习既爱自己地上的双亲又爱他们的天父。--MS126,1903.(AH19.){1MCP 216.5}[22]
§48
Influence of Christian Home Never Forgotten—The home that is beautified by love, sympathy, and tenderness is a place that angels love to visit and where God is glorified. The influence of a carefully guarded Christian home in the years of childhood and youth is the surest safeguard against the corruptions of the world. In the?atmosphere of such a home the children will learn to love both their earthly parents and their heavenly Father.—Manuscript 126, 1903.?(The Adventist Home, 19.)?{1MCP 216.5}[22]
§49
家庭关系的影响应该成圣。基督徒的家若按上帝的计划建立和管理，就会极好地帮助人形成基督化品格。……父母和儿女应该团结一致向主献上爱心的侍奉，惟有祂能保守人的爱纯洁高尚。--MS16,1899.(AH19.){1MCP 217.1}[23]
§50
The family relationship should be sanctifying in its influence. Christian homes, established and conducted in accordance with God’s plan, are a wonderful help in forming Christian character.... Parents and children should unite in offering loving service to Him who alone can keep human love pure and noble.—Manuscript 16, 1899.?(The Adventist Home, 19.)?{1MCP 217.1}[23]