第18章 家庭的保障
§1
第18章 家庭的保障
§2
Chapter 18—Security in the Home
§3
人的爱应当从上帝的爱中获得——婚约只有在基督里订立，才安全可靠。人的爱应当从上帝的爱中获得最紧密的关系（见第五编《生活的动力》）。只有基督在人心中作主，人才会有深切、真诚和无私的爱。--MH358(1905).{1MCP 152.1}[1]
§4
Human Love Should Draw on Divine Love—It is only in Christ that a marriage alliance can be safely formed. Human love should draw its closest bonds from divine love. [See section V, “Life’s energizing force.”] Only where Christ reigns can there be deep, true, unselfish affection.—The Ministry of Healing, 358 (1905).?{1MCP 152.1}[1]
§5
实现上帝的理想——不论男女，只要接受基督的帮助，就能实现上帝对于他们的理想。凡人的智慧所办不到的事，基督的恩典却能为怀着敬爱之心信靠祂的人成全。祂的眷顾能用天上的纽带将人的心结合在一起。爱不只是交换几句甜言蜜语。天上的织机能比地上的织机织出更加精致，更加坚韧的织物。这样的织物决不单薄，却能经得起考验和试炼。爱的金色纽带会将心与心恒久地相连。--MH362(1905).{1MCP 152.2}[2]
§6
Reaching God’s Ideal—Men and women can reach God’s ideal for them if they will take Christ as their helper. What human wisdom cannot do, His grace will accomplish for those who give themselves to Him in loving trust. His providence can unite hearts in bonds that are of heavenly origin. Love will not be a mere exchange of soft and flattering words. The loom of heaven weaves with warp and woof finer, yet more firm, than can be woven by the looms of earth. The result is not a tissue fabric but a texture that will bear wear and test and trial. Heart will be bound to heart in the golden bonds of a love that is enduring.—The Ministry of Healing, 362 (1905).?{1MCP 152.2}[2]
§7
考虑婚姻时要权衡每一情感——凡正在考虑婚姻问题的人，应当权衡他们所要选为终生伴侣之人的每一情感，关注他们品格的每一发展。订立婚约的每一步骤，都应审慎、简朴、真诚地进行，并抱着讨上帝喜悦和尊荣上帝的坚定宗旨。婚姻影响着今后的生活，不论在今生或是来世。一个真诚的基督徒决不会制定上帝所不赞同的任何计划。--MH359(1905).{1MCP 152.3}[3]
§8
Weigh Every Sentiment in Contemplating Marriage—Let those who are contemplating marriage?weigh every sentiment and watch every development of character in the one with whom they think to unite their life destiny. Let every step toward a marriage alliance be characterized by modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and an earnest purpose to please and honor God. Marriage affects the afterlife both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will make no plans that God cannot approve.—The Ministry of Healing, 359 (1905).?{1MCP 152.3}[3]
§9
真正的结合是在婚后的岁月里——婚姻无论考虑得多么谨慎周详，也很少有夫妇在结婚时是完全结合的。两人真正的结合是在婚后的岁月里。--MH359,360(1905).{1MCP 153.1}[4]
§10
Real Union Is the Work of Years—However carefully and wisely marriage may have been entered into, few couples are completely united when the marriage ceremony is performed. The real union of the two in wedlock is the work of the afteryears.—The Ministry of Healing, 359, 360 (1905).?{1MCP 153.1}[4]
§11
想象中婚姻的浪漫消失了——新婚的夫妇所面对的，是生活烦恼和忧虑的担子。想象中婚姻的浪漫消失了。夫妻彼此了解了婚前所不知道的品格。这是他们最危急的时期。他们一生的幸福和前途，全在乎他们这时是否能采取正确的方针。他们往往互相发现了以前所想象不到的缺点和软弱。但他们用爱联结在一起的心也会发现以前所没有看到的优点。但愿大家都看对方的长处，而不是短处。我们对别人的观察，常常受我们自己的态度和我们周围气氛的影响。{1MCP 153.2}[5]
§12
Romantic Imagination Disappears—As life with its burden of perplexity and care meets the newly wedded pair, the romance with which imagination so often invests marriage disappears. Husband and wife learn each other’s character as it was impossible to learn it in their previous association. This is a most critical period in their experience. The happiness and usefulness of their whole future life depend upon their taking a right course now. Often they discern in each other unsuspected weaknesses and defects, but the hearts that love has united will discern excellencies also heretofore unknown. Let all seek to discover the excellencies rather than the defects. Often it is our own attitude, the atmosphere that surrounds ourselves, which determines what will be revealed to us in another.?{1MCP 153.2}[5]
§13
许多人视爱的表示为懦弱，故保持排斥他人的矜持。这种精神阻碍了同情的热流。交谊和慷慨的冲动既受到遏止，就会枯竭，心地就会变得冷漠。我们要谨防这种错误。爱如果不表达出来是不能长存的。不要让牵挂你的心因得不到仁爱和同情而饥饿。--MH360(1905).{1MCP 153.3}[6]
§14
There are many who regard the expression of love as a weakness, and they maintain a reserve that repels others. This spirit checks the current of sympathy. As the social and generous impulses are repressed, they wither, and the heart becomes desolate and cold. We should beware of this error. Love cannot long exist without expression. Let not the heart of one connected with you starve for the want of kindness and sympathy.—The Ministry of Healing, 360 (1905).?{1MCP 153.3}[6]
§15
爱会促进更高尚的宗旨——夫妻都要给予爱，而不要苛求对方的爱。要培养你最高尚的品格，善于发现对方的优点。得到别人的赏识，会带来奇妙的满足和激励。同情和尊敬能促使人上进。爱情本身也随着其更高尚的宗旨而增加。--MH361(1905).{1MCP 154.1}[7]
§16
Love Stimulates to Nobler Aims—Let each give love rather than exact it. Cultivate that which is noblest in yourselves, and be quick to recognize the good qualities in each other. The consciousness of being appreciated is a wonderful stimulus and satisfaction. Sympathy and respect encourage the striving after excellence, and love itself increases as it stimulates to nobler aims.—The Ministry of Healing, 361 (1905).?{1MCP 154.1}[7]
§17
个性不要泯灭——夫妻都不要将自己的个性泯灭在对方的个性之中。每一个人都与上帝有个人的关系。关于上帝，各人要问：“什么是正确的？”“什么是错误的？”“我怎样才能最好地实现人生的宗旨？”你的情感要投向那一位舍身救你的主。要在凡事上以基督为始、为终、为至善。你们爱基督的心既更加深厚、更加坚强，你们彼此之间的爱就会得到净化和加强。--MH361(1905).{1MCP 154.2}[8]
§18
Individuality Not to Be Merged—Neither the husband nor the wife should merge his or her individuality in that of the other. Each has a personal relation to God. Of Him each is to ask, “What is right?” “What is wrong?” “How may I best fulfill life’s purpose?” Let the wealth of your affection flow forth to Him who gave His life for you. Make Christ first and last and best in everything. As your love for Him becomes deeper and stronger your love for each other will be purified and strengthened.—The Ministry of Healing, 361 (1905).?{1MCP 154.2}[8]
§19
我们都有自己的个性，妻子的个性决不可泯灭在丈夫的个性中。上帝是我们的创造主。我们因创造也因救赎而属于祂。我们需要看到自己能回报上帝多少，因为祂赐给我们道德力，祂使我们有效能，祂赐给我们理智；祂希望我们充分利用这些宝贵的恩赐荣耀祂的名。--MS12,1895.{1MCP 154.3}[9]
§20
We have an individuality of our own, and the wife’s individuality is never to be sunk into that of her husband. God is our Creator. We are His by creation, and we are His by redemption. We want to see how much we can render back to God, because He gives us the moral power, He gives us the efficiency, He gives us the intellect; and He wants us to make the most of these precious gifts to His name’s glory.—Manuscript 12, 1895.?{1MCP 154.3}[9]
§21
单要完全顺服耶稣——上帝要求作妻子的始终保持敬畏和荣耀上帝的心。她只能向主耶稣基督做出完全的降服，祂已用祂生命的无限代价买下了她作祂自己的孩子。……她的个性不可消失在她丈夫的个性中，因为她是基督所买来的。--Lt18b,1891.(AH116.){1MCP 154.4}[10]
§22
Entire Submission Only to Jesus—God requires that the wife shall keep the fear and glory of God ever before her. Entire submission is to be made only to the Lord Jesus Christ, who has purchased her as His own child by the infinite price of His life.... Her individuality cannot be merged into that of her husband, for she is the purchase of Christ.—Letter 18b, 1891?(The Adventist Home, 116.)?{1MCP 154.4}[10]
§23
不要认为他们的结合是错误或令人失望的——虽然会有艰难、困惑和沮丧，但夫妻都不要认为他们的结合是错误或令人失望的。要下决心尽量让对方满意，要延续初恋时的恩爱。在人生的斗争中，要千方百计鼓助对方。要研究如何增进对方的幸福。要彼此相爱，互相体谅。这样，婚姻就不会是恋爱的坟墓，而是恋爱的开始了。真友情的暖、结同心的爱，是天国喜乐的预尝。--MH360(1905).{1MCP 154.5}[11]
§24
Thought That Union Is a Mistake Not to Be Harbored—Though difficulties, perplexities, and?discouragements may arise, let neither husband nor wife harbor the thought that their union is a mistake or a disappointment. Determine to be all that it is possible to be to each other. Continue the early attentions. In every way encourage each other in fighting the battles of life. Study to advance the happiness of each other. Let there be mutual love, mutual forbearance. Then marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very beginning of love. The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven.—The Ministry of Healing, 360 (1905).?{1MCP 154.5}[11]
§25
由理智控制的关系——凡视婚姻关系为上帝的神圣礼节之一，且被祂圣洁的律例所维护的人，必为理性的指令所管束。他们会仔细考虑婚姻关系所准予的每一特权的结果。这样的人会感到自己的儿女是上帝交给他们保守的宝石，要藉着训练除去他们本性的粗糙面，好使他们的光彩显出来。他们会感到有极其严肃的责任，要如此塑造他们的品格，以致他们能终身行善，用他们的亮光造福他人，且使世界因有他们活在其上而变得更好，并最终使他们适合过更高尚的生活，配得那更美的世界，在上帝和羔羊面前发光到永远。--HL(Part2)48,1865.{1MCP 155.1}[12]
§26
Relationship Controlled by Reason—Those who regard the marriage relation as one of God’s sacred ordinances, guarded by His holy precept, will be controlled by the dictates of reason. They will consider carefully the result of every privilege the marriage relation grants. Such will feel that their children are precious jewels committed to their keeping by God, to remove from their natures the rough surface by discipline, that their luster may appear. They will feel under most solemn obligations to so form their characters that they may do good in their life, bless others with their light, and the world be better for their having lived in it, and they be finally fitted for the higher life, the better world, to shine in the presence of God and the Lamb forever.—Healthful Living, 48, 1865?(Part 2) .?{1MCP 155.1}[12]
§27
组织良好的家庭——应该很好地组织家庭。父母应该一起考虑自己的责任。他们应该一起为儿女的最高利益工作。他们之间不应该有分歧。他们决不应该当着儿女的面批评彼此的计划或质疑彼此的判断。妻子若是没有经验，就应当设法查明自己的工作在什么地方使丈夫为儿女的得救所做的工作更加困难。丈夫也应该扶持妻子的双手，给她明智的劝告和亲切的鼓励。--RH,1902年7月8日.{1MCP 155.2}[13]
§28
A Well-organized Family—The family firm should be well organized. Together the father and mother should consider their responsibilities. Together they should work for the highest good of their children. There is to be no variance between them. Never should they in the presence of their children criticize each other’s plans or question each other’s judgment. If the wife is inexperienced, she should try to find out where her work makes the work for her husband more difficult as he labors for the salvation of the children. And the husband should?hold up the hands of his wife, giving her wise counsel and loving encouragement.—The Review and Herald, July 8, 1902.?{1MCP 155.2}[13]
§29
父母必须管住自己——成功地管理自己家庭的父母一定先管好自己。他们如果希望自己家中只有令人愉快的话语，就必须只让儿女听到他们口中说出令人愉快的话语。撒下什么样的种子，就会有什么样的收成。父母在言传身教教育自己的儿女方面，有一项严肃神圣的工作要做。他们对上帝有义务，要把自己的儿女引到上帝面前，使他们在很小的时候就对何为跟从耶稣基督有聪明的认识。那些自称相信圣经的基督徒如果有不敬爱上帝的儿女，多数情况是因为父母的榜样不正确。所撒下的错误虚假的种子已结出了荆棘和蒺藜。--MS59,1900.{1MCP 156.1}[14]
§30
Parents Must Govern Themselves—Parents who successfully govern their families must first govern themselves. If they would only have pleasant words in their families, they must let their children hear only pleasant words from their lips. The planting of the seed will produce a like harvest. Parents have a solemn, sacred work to perform in educating their children by precept and example. They are under obligation to God to present their children to Him fitted at a very early period to receive an intelligent knowledge of what is comprehended in being a follower of Jesus Christ. If those who claim to be Bible Christians have children who do not fear and love God, in most cases it is because the parents’ example has not been a correct one. False, spurious seeds have been sown which have produced a harvest of briers and thorns.—Manuscript 59, 1900.?{1MCP 156.1}[14]
§31
给家人温柔的话语和微笑——我们不仅有特权而且有责任培养温柔，有基督的平安在心中，作使人和睦的人，跟从基督撒播会结出果子以至永生的种子。自称跟从基督的人可能具有许多良好有益的品质；但他们的品格却因不仁慈、焦躁、挑剔、苛刻论断的脾气而大大损毁了。心怀猜疑和不信任的丈夫或妻子在家中引起不和与纷争。他们谁都不该只把温柔的话语和微笑留给外人，却在家中显得过敏易怒，从而把平安和满足赶出去了。--Lt34,1894.(HC179.){1MCP 156.2}[15]
§32
Gentle Words and Smiles for the Family—It is not only our privilege but our duty to cultivate gentleness, to have the peace of Christ in the heart and as peacemakers and followers of Christ to sow precious seed that will produce a harvest unto eternal life. Professed followers of Christ may possess many good and useful qualities; but their characters are greatly marred by an unkind, fretful, faultfinding, harshly judging temper. The husband or the wife who cherishes suspicion and distrust creates dissension and strife in the home. Neither of them should keep his gentle words and smiles for strangers alone, and manifest irritability in the home, thus driving out peace and contentment.—Letter 34, 1894?(Our High Calling, 179.)?{1MCP 156.2}[15]
§33
要避免粗俗的谈吐——父亲母亲、丈夫妻子们哪，我劝你们不要沉湎于低级的思想和粗俗的谈吐。粗言粗语，低级的玩笑，家庭生活中缺乏礼貌，会在你们身上留下印记，若是经常重复，就会成为第二本性。家庭是太神圣的地方，不可沾染粗俗、淫荡和反唇相讥。有一位见证者宣称：“我知道你的行为”（启2:2）。要在心灵的花园中培植仁爱、真诚、仁慈和宽容。--Lt18b,1891.{1MCP 156.3}[16]
§34
Vulgar Speaking to Be Avoided—Fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, I beseech you, do not indulge in low thought and vulgar speaking. Coarse sayings, low jests, want of courtesy in the homelife, will?leave an impression upon you, and if frequently repeated will become second nature. The home is too sacred a place to be polluted with vulgarity, sensuality, and recrimination. There is a Witness who declares, “I know thy works.” Let love, truth, kindness, and forbearance be the plants cultivated in the garden of the heart.—Letter 18b, 1891?{1MCP 156.3}[16]
§35
决不要显出粗蛮无礼或不近人情——你从未在家庭圈子中显出粗蛮、不亲切、不礼貌吗？你若确实在自己家里显出无情，你的信仰表白无论多么高尚，你都是在违背上帝的诫命。--RH,1892年3月29日.{1MCP 157.1}[17]
§36
Never Manifest Rudeness or Unkindness—Do you never manifest rudeness, unkindness, and impoliteness in the family circle? If you do manifest unkindness at your home, no matter how high may be your profession, you are breaking God’s commandments.—The Review and Herald, March 29, 1892.?{1MCP 157.1}[17]
§37
朋友们不要干预家庭生活（给一个年轻人的勉言）——应当将家庭圈子视为一个神圣的地方，一个天国的象征，一面照出我们自己的镜子。我们可以有朋友和熟人，但他们不可干预我们的家庭生活。应该有强烈的主权意识，这种意识使人感到安心、平静、信赖。{1MCP 157.2}[18]
§38
Friends Not to Meddle in Homelife (counsel to a young man)—The home circle should be regarded as a sacred place, a symbol of heaven, a mirror in which to reflect ourselves. Friends and acquaintances we may have, but in the homelife they are not to meddle. A strong sense of proprietorship should be felt, giving a sense of ease, restfulness, trust.?{1MCP 157.2}[18]
§39
但你与别的妇女和姑娘的交往对她们来说已经成了一个试探之源，使她们随便越过婚姻关系对每一个男女的限制。你还没有认识到这一点，但你爱娱乐的心和你所助长的精神并没有使人铭记婚姻关系的神圣性。{1MCP 157.3}[19]
§40
But your association with other women and girls has been a source of temptation to them, leading them to take liberties and overstep the restraint which the marriage relation imposes on every man and woman. You have not perceived it, but your love of amusement and the spirit you have encouraged has not impressed others with the sacredness of the marriage relation.?{1MCP 157.3}[19]
§41
实际的家庭生活乃是品格的大试验。一个人是通过在家中的温柔体谅、通过操练忍耐、仁慈和仁爱来决定自己的品格。--Lt17,1895.{1MCP 157.4}[20]
§42
Practical homelife is the great test of character. By his tender thoughtfulness in the home, by the exercise of patience, kindness, and love, a man determines his character.—Letter 17, 1895?{1MCP 157.4}[20]
§43
妻子渴望亲爱的话语——许多女人渴望从所选为终身伴侣的丈夫得到亲爱仁慈的话语和足够的关注与礼貌。要是男男女女愿意继续培养敬重、关心和能使爱情常保活泼且使他们感到要得到所选择的伴侣就必须说出的赏识感激的亲切话语和人生小小的礼貌谦恭，就会省掉多少烦恼和祸患与不幸之潮啊。{1MCP 157.5}[21]
§44
Wives Pine for Words of Love—Many women pine for words of love and kindness and the common attentions and courtesies due them from their husbands who have selected them as their life companions. How much trouble?and what a tide of woe and unhappiness would be saved if men, and women also, would continue to cultivate the regard, attention, and kind words of appreciation and little courtesies of life which kept love alive and which they felt were necessary in gaining the companions of their choice.?{1MCP 157.5}[21]
§45
只要丈夫和妻子愿意继续培养这些滋养爱心的关注，他们就必因彼此的相伴而快乐，也会对自己的家人发挥一种成圣的影响力。他们自己就会有一个幸福的小世界，不会想去这个小世界外面寻找新的吸引和新的爱情对象了。许多作妻子的已因缺乏在仁慈的关心和言语中显出的同情仁爱的鼓励之言而患病早死了。--Lt27,1872.{1MCP 158.1}[22]
§46
If the husband and wife would only continue to cultivate these attentions which nourish love, they would be happy in each other’s society and would have a sanctifying influence upon their families. They would have in themselves a little world of happiness and would not desire to go outside this world for new attractions and new objects of love. Many a wife has sickened and died prematurely for the want of encouraging words of sympathy and love manifested in kindly attentions and in words.—Letter 27, 1872.?{1MCP 158.1}[22]
§47
丈夫要关闭病苦之门——丈夫应当表示大大关心自己的家庭，尤其是对于柔弱妻子的感受，应当十分温存体贴。他可以关闭许多病苦之门。仁爱，喜乐，及鼓励的话，会比那些最有效的良药更好。它们会使灰心丧胆的人生出勇气，那些慈爱的行为及鼓励的言语，使家庭光明喜乐温暖，所费的力量，必得十倍的报酬。{1MCP 158.2}[23]
§48
Husband Can Shut the Door Against Disease—The husband should manifest great interest in his family. Especially should he be very tender of the feelings of a feeble wife. He can shut the door against much disease. Kind, cheerful, and encouraging words will prove more effective than the most healing medicines. These will bring courage to the heart of the desponding and discouraged, and the happiness and sunshine brought into the family by kind acts and encouraging words will repay the effort tenfold.?{1MCP 158.2}[23]
§49
丈夫应当记得，教育儿女的责任大半落于母亲的身上；在陶铸他们心思的事上，母亲要下许多的功夫。因此丈夫应当有极温存的心，细心留意去减轻妻子的重担。他应当鼓励她依靠他的厚爱，指导她的心思仰望上天，那里有力量与平安以及为疲惫之人预备的最后安息。{1MCP 158.3}[24]
§50
The husband should remember that much of the burden of training his children rests upon the mother, that she has much to do with molding their minds. This should call into exercise his tenderest feelings, and with care should he lighten her burdens. He should encourage her to lean upon his large affections, and direct her mind to heaven, where there is strength and peace and a final rest for the weary.?{1MCP 158.3}[24]
§51
他不应当带着愁眉苦脸到家中，乃是要容光焕发，使家中满堂春风，并应当鼓励妻子仰望及信靠上帝。他们可以同心合意祈求上帝所应许的，使万福临门。不仁不爱，怨天尤人，及怀忿生怒，会把耶稣拒于户外的。我见到一个家中若有不快乐的话语，躁怒，纷争等情形，上帝的天使就要从那里跑开了。--1T306,307(1862).{1MCP 158.4}[25]
§52
He should not come into his home with a clouded brow, but should with his presence bring sunlight into the family and should encourage his wife to look up and believe in God. Unitedly they can claim the promises of God and bring His rich blessing into the family. Unkindness,?complaining, and anger shut Jesus from the dwelling. I saw that angels of God will flee from a house where there are unpleasant words, fretfulness, and strife.—Testimonies for the Church 1:306, 307 (1862).?{1MCP 158.4}[25]
§53
丈夫是一家之长——丈夫和父亲是一家之长。妻子需要他的爱和体贴，并帮助她教育儿童。这是理所当然的，因为孩子既是母亲的，也是父亲的。父亲对于孩子的福利，与母亲负有一样的责任。孩子需要父亲的支持和引导。父亲对于人生，对于围绕家庭的影响和社交，需要有正确的观念。最重要的，他应当受敬爱上帝的心和上帝的教训所约束，以便指引儿女的脚走在正直的路上。--MH390(1905).{1MCP 159.1}[26]
§54
Husband Head of Household—The husband and father is the head of the household. The wife looks to him for love and sympathy and for aid in the training of the children; and this is right. The children are his as well as hers, and he is equally interested in their welfare. The children look to the father for support and guidance; he needs to have a right conception of life and of the influences and associations that should surround his family; above all, he should be controlled by the love and fear of God and by the teaching of His Word, that he may guide the feet of his children in the right way.—The Ministry of Healing, 390 (1905).?{1MCP 159.1}[26]
§55
妻子是丈夫的助手——上帝亲自为亚当造了一个伴侣。祂“为他造一个配偶帮助他，”──与他相配的一个助手──是专为作他伴侣而造，并能彼此同情相爱，合而为一的。夏娃是从亚当的一根肋骨所造成的，表明她不应作他的首脑去管辖他，也不应作他的奴隶被他践踏，乃是要以平等的地位站在亚当身边，为他所亲爱所保护。女人既是男人的一部分，是他骨中的骨，肉中的肉，她便是他的第二个自己。这是要说明夫妻之间应有亲爱密切的联合。--PP46(1890).{1MCP 159.2}[27]
§56
Wife a “Help Meet” for Husband—God Himself gave Adam a companion. He provided “an help meet for him”—a helper corresponding to him—one who was fitted to be his companion and who could be one with him in love and sympathy. Eve was created from a rib taken from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him. A part of man, bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh, she was his second self, showing the close union and the affectionate attachment that should exist in this relation.—Patriarchs and Prophets, 46 (1890).?{1MCP 159.2}[27]
§57
如何在家庭范围造成和睦——丈夫若有每一个真正的基督徒都必须具有的高贵的品格，纯洁的心思，高尚的意念，就必在婚姻关系中表明出来。……他会设法使自己的妻子有健康有勇气。他会努力说安慰的话，在家庭范围造成和睦的氛围。--MS17,1891.(AH228.){1MCP 159.3}[28]
§58
How to Create Peace in Home Circle—When the husband has the nobility of character, purity of heart, elevation of mind, that every true Christian must possess, it will be made manifest in the marriage relation.... He will seek to keep his wife in health and courage. He will strive to speak words of comfort, to create an atmosphere of peace in the home circle.—Manuscript 17, 1891.?(The Adventist Home, 228.)?{1MCP 159.3}[28]
§59
作丈夫的应该研究救主的榜样，设法明白《以弗所书》中提出的基督与教会的关系象征着什么意思。丈夫在自己的家庭中要象一位救主。他愿意本着上帝所赐高贵的丈夫气概站立，始终设法提高自己的妻子和孩子吗？他愿意在自己周围发出纯洁甜美的气氛吗？难道他不愿象断言自己有权威那样勤勉地培养耶稣的爱，使之成为自己家中持久的原则吗？--MS17,1891.(AH117.){1MCP 160.1}[29]
§60
Husbands should study the pattern and seek to know what is meant by the symbol presented in Ephesians, the relation Christ sustains to the church. The husband is to be as a Saviour in his family. Will he stand in his noble, God-given manhood, ever seeking to uplift his wife and children? Will he breathe about him a pure, sweet atmosphere? Will he not as assiduously cultivate the love of Jesus, making it an abiding principle in his home, as he will assert his claims to authority?—?Manuscript 17, 1891.?(The Adventist Home, 117.)?{1MCP 160.1}[29]
§61
丈夫不要强调自己的地位——作丈夫的不断强调自己作为一家之首的地位，这并不能证明他的男子气概。听到他引用圣经来支持他所声称的权威，也不能使人更加尊重他。他要求自己的妻子，就是他孩子们的母亲遵照他的计划行事，好像他的计划绝无错误似的，这不会使他更有男子气概。{1MCP 160.2}[30]
§62
Husband Not to Dwell on His Position—It is no evidence of manliness in the husband for him to dwell constantly upon his position as head of the family. It does not increase respect for him to hear him quoting Scripture to sustain his claims to authority. It will not make him more manly to require his wife, the mother of his children, to act upon his plans as if they were infallible.?{1MCP 160.2}[30]
§63
主已经安排丈夫作妻子的头，作她的保护者，为一家之长，把全家人维系在一起，正如基督是教会的头，和那个奥秘团体的救主一样。要让每一个自称爱上帝的丈夫都仔细研究上帝对他的地位的要求。基督是本着智慧和完全的仁慈与温柔运用自己的权威的；丈夫也要这样运用自己的权柄，效法教会伟大的元首。--Lt18b,1891.(AH215.){1MCP 160.3}[31]
§64
The Lord has constituted the husband the head of the wife to be her protector; he is the house-band of the family, binding the members together, even as Christ is the head of the church and the Saviour of the mystical body. Let every husband who claims to love God, carefully study the requirements of God in his position. Christ’s authority is exercised in wisdom, in all kindness and gentleness; so let the husband exercise his power and imitate the great Head of the church.—Letter 18b, 1891?(The Adventist Home, 215.)?{1MCP 160.3}[31]
§65
妻子要乐意维护丈夫的尊严——我也蒙指示，看见在妻子身上往往也有大缺欠。她没有尽大力量去约束自己的性情，使家庭快乐。她往往有暴躁易怒，及不必要的怨天尤人。丈夫在外操劳终日，忙乱疲倦，在回家时遇到的，竟是愁眉苦脸，而不是喜乐鼓励的言语。他不过是人而已，他既不能从妻子身上得着爱情温暖，结果就不爱自己的家庭，他的前途黯黑，他的勇气消沉，失去了上帝要他保持的自重及尊严。{1MCP 160.4}[32]
§66
Wife Cheerfully to Help Husband Maintain Dignity—I have also been shown that there is often a great failure on the part of the wife. She does not put forth strong efforts to control her own spirit and make home happy. There is often fretfulness and unnecessary complaining on her part. The husband comes home from his labor weary and perplexed, and meets a clouded brow instead of cheerful, encouraging words. He is but human, and his affections become weaned from his wife, he loses the love of his home, his pathway is darkened, and his?courage destroyed. He yields his self-respect and that dignity which God requires him to maintain.?{1MCP 160.4}[32]
§67
丈夫是家庭的头，正如基督是教会的头；妻子的任何行动，凡足以减弱他的影响，及使他从尊严及负责的地位上降格的，都会使上帝不悦的。妻子的本分应当使自己的心愿去顺服丈夫的心愿。要彼此顺服，但圣经主张当以丈夫的意见为尚。妻子既选丈夫为自己的参谋，顾问，及保护者，因此顺服他，并不有损于妻子的尊严。在家庭中，丈夫应保持十分温柔而坚决的地位。--1T307,308(1862).{1MCP 161.1}[33]
§68
The husband is the head of the family, as Christ is the head of the church; and any course which the wife may pursue to lessen his influence and lead him to come down from that dignified, responsible position is displeasing to God. It is the duty of the wife to yield her wishes and will to her husband. Both should be yielding, but the Word of God gives preference to the judgment of the husband. And it will not detract from the dignity of the wife to yield to him whom she has chosen to be her counselor, adviser, and protector. The husband should maintain his position in his family with all meekness, yet with decision.—Testimonies for the Church 1:307, 308 (1862).?{1MCP 161.1}[33]
§69
人类需要群居——在上帝所造地上的一切动物中，没有一个是与人同等的。所以“耶和华上帝说：那人独居不好，我要为他造一个配偶帮助他”（创2:18）。上帝造人不是要他独居，乃是要他群居的。人若没有伴侣，则伊甸园美丽的景色和愉快的工作就不能使人得到完全的幸福。即或有天使与他交往，也不能满足他对于同情和友谊方面的愿望。他还没有一个与他性情相同的对象，与他相爱。--PP46(1890).{1MCP 161.2}[34]
§70
Man a Social Being—Among all the creatures that God had made on the earth, there was not one equal to man. And “God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). Man was not made to dwell in solitude; he was to be a social being. Without companionship, the beautiful scenes and delightful employments of Eden would have failed to yield perfect happiness. Even communion with angels could not have satisfied his desire for sympathy and companionship. There was none of the same nature to love and to be loved.—Patriarchs and Prophets, 46 (1890).?{1MCP 161.2}[34]
§71
惟有藉着上帝的灵家中才可能和睦——我们必须拥有上帝的灵，否则我们家中就不可能有和睦。妻子若有基督的精神，就会谨慎自己的言语，控制自己的精神，就会顺服，可是却不会觉得自己是奴隶，而是丈夫的伴侣。丈夫若是上帝的仆人，就不会辖制自己的妻子；不会专横苛求。我们怎样珍重家庭的爱也不会过分；因为家庭若有主的灵住在其中，就是天国的预表。--Lt18-b1891.(AH118.){1MCP 161.3}[35]
§72
Harmony in Home Possible Only by God’s Spirit—We must have the Spirit of God, or we can never have harmony in the home. The wife, if she has the spirit of Christ, will be careful of her words; she will control her spirit, she will be submissive, and yet will not feel that she is a bondslave, but a companion to her husband. If the husband is a servant of God, he will not lord it over his wife; he will not be arbitrary and exacting. We cannot cherish home affection with too much care; for the home, if the Spirit of the Lord dwells there, is a type of heaven.—Letter 18b, 1891?(The Adventist Home, 118.)?{1MCP 161.3}[35]
§73
核心集团是极为重要的——我们的一切才能都要为基督所用。这是我们每一个人欠上帝的债。重生的人与基督建立关系，只不过是恢复他原定与上帝的关系而已。他是基督的一个代表，他总要祷告并且警醒祷告。无论远近，他都有责任要负。但他的首要责任乃是对于他的儿女和至亲。他没有理由舍近求远，疏忽自己的家人。{1MCP 162.1}[36]
§74
The Inner Circle Paramount—All our powers are to be used for Christ. This is the debt we each owe to God. In forming a relationship with Christ, the renewed man is but coming back to his appointed relationship with God. He is a representative of Christ, and he is ever to pray and watch unto prayer. His duties lie around him, nigh and afar off. His first duty is to his children and his nearest relatives. Nothing can excuse him from neglecting the inner circle for the larger circle outside.?{1MCP 162.1}[36]
§75
在最后交账的日子，父母们要就自己的儿女回答问题。他们要受到查问，他们为自己所生养之子女的得救，说了些什么，做了什么。他们要为此负责。他们有没有忽略了家里的小羊，把他们交给外人照顾？父母们哪，你们是不是正任由自己的儿女在不洁和罪恶中长大呢？你对别人所行的大善，不能抵消你在照顾自己的孩子上欠上帝的债。要把你家人的属灵福利放在第一位。要把家人和你一起带到髑髅地的十字架，为他们作工好像将来交账的人。--MS56,1899.{1MCP 162.2}[37]
§76
In the day of final reckoning, fathers and mothers will be required to answer in regard to their children. Parents will be asked what they did and said to secure the salvation of the souls they took upon themselves the responsibility of bringing into the world. Did they neglect their lambs, leaving them to the care of strangers? Fathers and mothers, are you allowing your children to grow up in impurity and sin? A great good done for others will not cancel the debt you owe to God to care for your children. The spiritual welfare of your family comes first. Take them with you to the cross of Calvary, laboring for them as those that must give an account.—Manuscript 56, 1899.?{1MCP 162.2}[37]