第19章 与贫困作斗争
§1
第19章 与贫困作斗争
§2
Chapter 19—Struggles with Poverty
§3
1847年8月26日，我们头一个儿子亨利·尼克尔斯·怀特在缅因州戈勒姆出生了。当年的十月，住在托普瑟姆的豪兰夫妇仁慈地在自己家里让出一部分给我们住，我们就感激地领受，并用几件借来的家具开始组织小家庭了。那时我们很贫苦，生活非常窘迫。我们决定不依赖人，却要自食其力，并还能有一点力量去帮助人。但我们的景况未见好转。那时我的丈夫很辛苦地参加修筑铁路，搬运石头的工作，但却得不到他所应得的工资。豪兰夫妇在他们有力量的时候，很慷慨地拿自己的东西分给我们；他们的景况也非常困难。他们全心相信第一和第二位天使的信息，并且已经很慷慨地捐出自己的财物来推进圣工，以致他们必须靠自己每天的劳力来维持生活。{CET 114.1}[1]
§4
At Gorham, Maine, August 26, 1847, our eldest son, Henry Nichols White, was born. In October Brother and Sister Howland, of Topsham, kindly offered us a part of their dwelling, which we gladly accepted, and commenced housekeeping with borrowed furniture. We were poor, and saw close times. We had resolved not to be dependent, but to support ourselves, and have something with which to help others. But we were not prospered. My husband worked very hard hauling stone on the railroad, but could not get what was due him for his labor. Brother and Sister Howland freely divided with us whenever they could; but they also were in close circumstances. They fully believed the first and second messages, and had generously imparted of their substance to forward the work, until they were dependent on their daily labor.?{CET 114.1}[1]
§5
后来我的丈夫不再搬运石头了，却拿着斧头到森林里去砍柴。他的腰虽然时常酸痛，但他还从清晨一直做到晚上，每日赚来大约五角钱。我们竭力保持乐观的精神，并且信靠主。我没有发怨言。每天早上我感谢上帝，因祂保守我们过了一夜，在晚上我感谢祂保护我们又过了一天。{CET 114.2}[2]
§6
My husband stopped hauling stone, and with his ax went into the woods to chop cordwood. With a continual pain in his side, he worked from early morning till dark to earn about fifty cents a day. We endeavored to keep up good courage, and trust in the Lord. I did not murmur. In the morning I felt grateful to God that He had preserved us through another night, and at night I was thankful that He had kept us through another day.?{CET 114.2}[2]
§7
有一天我们家里绝了粮，我的丈夫便到他雇主那里去领取现金或粮食。那天有大风雨，他在雨里来回走了三英里。他回来时身上背着一袋粮食，袋子是扎成几部分的。他曾背着这袋粮食经过布伦斯威克村，就是他常在那里讲道的地方。当他精疲力竭地走进家门时，我的心就沉下去了。我头一个感想就是上帝已经丢弃了我们。我对丈夫说：“我们竟落到这种地步了么？难道主已经离开了我们么？”我抑制不住自己的眼泪，放声痛哭达数小时之久，直到昏厥了。旁人为我代祷。随后我感觉到上帝圣灵欢乐的影响，我就懊悔我竟被灰心的情绪所胜。我们极愿跟随基督并效法祂；但是有时我们竟会在试炼之下昏厥，离祂很远。苦难和考验使我们亲近耶稣。窑里的火足以焚尽渣滓，锻炼精金。{CET 114.3}[3]
§8
One day when our provisions were gone, my husband went to his employer to get money or provisions. It was a stormy day, and he walked three miles and back in the rain. He brought home on his back a bag of provisions tied in different compartments, having in this manner passed through the village of Brunswick, where he had often lectured. As he entered the house, very weary, my heart sank within me. My?first feelings were that God had forsaken us. I said to my husband: “Have we come to this? Has the Lord left us?” I could not restrain my tears, and wept aloud for hours, until I fainted. Prayer was offered in my behalf. Soon I felt the cheering influence of the Spirit of God, and regretted that I had sunk under discouragement. We desire to follow Christ and to be like Him; but we sometimes faint beneath trials, and remain at a distance from Him. Sufferings and trials bring us near to Jesus. The furnace consumes the dross and brightens the gold.?{CET 114.3}[3]
§9
这时我蒙指示，得悉主一直在锻炼我们，是与我们有益的，要预备我们去为别人效力。祂如鹰搅动巢窝，免得我们安逸下来。我们的工作乃是为救灵而劳碌；如果我们富足了，家庭的生活就要成为非常安乐的，以致我们舍不得离开家庭；磨难被容许临到我们，乃为准备我们应付在我们旅行时所必遭遇的更艰苦的斗争。我们不久接到从各州的弟兄们写来的信，邀请我们去访问他们；但我们没有离州出门的路费。因此我们的回答乃是：我们前面的路还没有打开。当时我认为我不可能带着孩子一同旅行。我们不愿依赖人，所以谨慎地量入为出。我们决心宁可受苦而不愿负债。{CET 115.1}[4]
§10
At this time I was shown that the Lord had been trying us for our good, and to prepare us to labor for others; that He had been stirring up our nest, lest we should settle down at ease. Our work was to labor for souls; if we had been prospered, home would be so pleasant that we would be unwilling to leave it; trials had been permitted to come upon us to prepare us for the still greater conflicts that we would meet in our travels. We soon received letters from brethren in different States, inviting us to visit them; but we had no means to take us out of the State. Our reply was that the way was not open before us. I thought that it would be impossible for me to travel with my child. We did not wish to be dependent, and were careful to live within our means. We were resolved to suffer rather than get in debt.?{CET 115.1}[4]
§11
过了不久，小亨利患了重病，病况很快地恶化，以致我们非常恐慌。他昏迷不醒，呼吸快速而沉重。我们进行治疗，但没有成功。于是我们请来一位对病理有经验的人，他说亨利能否痊愈，甚为可疑。我们曾经为他祷告，但病势依然没有好转。我们过去曾把孩子当作不出门为别人的益处作工的托辞，所以这时我们恐怕主有意要把他取去。于是我们再到主的面前来，求祂向我们发慈怜，饶了这孩子的性命，同时我们也严肃地许愿：不论今后上帝派我们到哪里去，我们都愿意信赖祂而遵命前往。{CET 115.2}[5]
§12
Little Henry was soon taken very sick, and grew worse so fast that we were much alarmed. He lay in a stupid state; his breathing was quick and heavy. We gave remedies with no success. We then called in a person of experience in sickness, who said that his recovery was doubtful. We had prayed for him, but there was no change. We had made the child an excuse for not traveling and laboring for the good of?others, and we feared the Lord was about to remove him. Once more we went before the Lord, praying that He would have compassion upon us, and spare the life of the child, and solemnly pledging ourselves to go forth trusting in God, wherever He might send us.?{CET 115.2}[5]
§13
我们的祷告是热切而伤痛的。我们凭着信心，要求上帝成就祂的应许，并且相信祂垂听了我们的呼求。这时有光明突破乌云照射在我们身上了。上帝开恩应允了我们的祈祷。从那一时刻起，小孩子就开始痊愈了。{CET 116.1}[6]
§14
Our petitions were fervent and agonizing. By faith we claimed the promises of God, and we believed that He listened to our cries. Light from heaven was breaking through the clouds and shining upon us. Our prayers were graciously answered. From that hour the child began to recover.?{CET 116.1}[6]
§15
【初次访问康涅狄格州】
§16
我们在托普瑟姆接到康涅狄格州米德尔敦的张伯伦弟兄的来信，请我们去参赴1848年4月在该州召开的会议。我们决定若能得到路费，就去赴会。我的丈夫和他的雇主结账之后，发现还可支取工资十块钱。我用了五块钱来购买几件我们所极需的衣服，然后把丈夫的大衣补好了，连补钉还是拼凑起来的，使得袖子上都看不到原来的布。我们还剩下五块钱，够到马萨诸塞州多尔切斯特之用。{CET 116.2}[7]
§17
【First Visit To Connecticut】
§18
While at Topsham we received a letter from Brother E. L. H. Chamberlain, of Middletown, Connecticut, urging us to attend a conference in that State in April, 1848. We decided to go if we could obtain means. My husband settled with his employer, and found that there was ten dollars due him. With five of this I purchased articles of clothing that we very much needed, and then patched my husband’s overcoat, even piecing the patches, making it difficult to tell the original cloth in the sleeves. We had five dollars left to take us to Dorchester, Massachusetts.?{CET 116.2}[7]
§19
我们的一只箱子几乎就装尽了我们在地上所有的一切东西；但我们却享有心灵上的平安和无愧的良心，这是我们所最宝贵的，远过于属世的安逸。{CET 116.3}[8]
§20
Our trunk contained nearly everything we possessed on earth; but we enjoyed peace of mind and a clear conscience, and this we prized above earthly comforts.?{CET 116.3}[8]
§21
我们在多尔切斯特访问了奥蒂斯·尼克尔斯弟兄。当我们离开的时候，尼克尔斯姐妹拿出五块钱给我的丈夫，这正好够付我们到康涅狄格州米德尔敦去的路费。我们在那里人地生疏，从来没有见过康涅狄格州的一个同道。那时我们手里只剩有五角钱了。我的丈夫不敢用它来雇车子，便将箱子放在附近一个木行里的一堆木板上，我们徒步行走，去寻找同道弟兄。不久我们找到了张伯伦弟兄，他就把我们带到他家里去。{CET 116.4}[9]
§22
In Dorchester we called at the house of Brother Otis Nichols, and as we left, Sister Nichols handed my husband five dollars, which paid our fare to Middletown, Connecticut. We were strangers in Middletown, having never seen one of the brethren in Connecticut. Of our money there was but fifty cents left. My husband did not dare to use that to hire a carriage, so he threw our trunk upon a high pile of boards in?a near-by lumberyard, and we walked on in search of someone of like faith. We soon found Brother Chamberlain, who took us to his home.?{CET 116.4}[9]
§23
【洛基希尔会议】
§24
洛基希尔会议是在艾伯特·贝尔登弟兄家里尚未造好的一间大客厅里举行的。我丈夫写信给斯托克布里奇·豪兰弟兄论到这次的会议说：{CET 117.1}[10]
§25
【Conference At Rocky Hill】
§26
The conference at Rocky Hill was held in the large unfinished chamber of Brother Albert Belden’s house. In a letter to Brother Stockbridge Howland, my husband wrote of the meeting as follows:?{CET 117.1}[10]
§27
“四月二十日，贝尔登弟兄派人驾着他的马车到米德尔敦来，接我们和散居在该城的几位弟兄。我们约在下午四点钟到达会场，过了几分钟，贝约瑟和格尼弟兄也来到了。当天晚上，我们约有十五人开了一次会；星期五上午，还有其他弟兄也陆续来了，直到我们有五十人之多。这些人不都是完全接受了真理的。当天的聚会是很有兴趣的。贝约瑟弟兄清楚地讲解了十条诫命，藉有力的见证强调了十诫的重要性。所传的道坚固了那些已经接受真理的人，并唤醒了那些还没有完全下决心的人。”{CET 117.2}[11]
§28
“April 20 Brother Belden sent his two-horse wagon to Middletown for us and the scattered brethren in that city. We arrived at this place about four in the afternoon, and in a few minutes in came Brethren Bates and Gurney. We had a meeting that evening of about fifteen. Friday morning the brethren came in until we numbered about fifty. These were not all fully in the truth. Our meeting that day was very interesting. Brother Bates presented the commandments in a clear light, and their importance was urged home by powerful testimonies. The word had effect to establish those already in the truth, and to awaken those who were not fully decided.”?{CET 117.2}[11]
§29
【挣钱访问纽约州西部】
§30
在两年前我已蒙启示，将来要访问纽约州西部。于是在洛基希尔会议结束后不久，我们受邀在八月间参赴纽约州沃尔尼的一次全体大会。海勒姆·爱德森弟兄写信给我们，说那里的弟兄多半是贫穷的，所以他不敢答应帮助解决我们的费用，但他愿意尽他所能的。那时我们还没有路费。我丈夫的健康欠佳，但他得到机会可以在田里割草，就决定去了。{CET 117.3}[12]
§31
【Earning Means To Visit Western New York】
§32
Two years before, I had been shown that at some future time we should visit western New York. And now, shortly after the close of the conference at Rocky Hill, we were invited to attend a general meeting at Volney, New York, in August. Brother Hiram Edson wrote to us that the brethren were generally poor, and that he could not promise that they would do much toward defraying our expenses, but that he would do what he could. We had no means with which to travel. My husband’s health was poor, but the way opened for him to work in the hayfield, and he decided to accept the work.?{CET 117.3}[12]
§33
那时我们似乎必须凭信心过日子。我们早上起来时，就跪在床边，求上帝赐我们力量承担一天的工作。我们每次必须确知上帝垂听了我们的祈祷，才能满意。于是我的丈夫便靠上帝所赐给他的力量，出去整日割草，在他晚上回家时，我们再恳求上帝赐我们能力，可以赚一点钱来传播真理。他在1848年7月2日写信给豪兰弟兄，论到这种经验说：{CET 118.1}[13]
§34
It seemed then that we must live by faith. When we arose in the morning, we bowed beside our bed, and asked God to give us strength to labor through the day, and we could not be satisfied without the assurance that the Lord heard our prayers. My husband then went forth to swing the scythe in the strength that God gave him. At night when he came home we would again plead with God for strength with which to earn means to spread the truth. In a letter to Brother Howland, written July 2, 1848, he spoke of this experience thus:?{CET 118.1}[13]
§35
“今天下雨，所以我没有割草，否则我也不会写信了。我五天为非信徒割草，星期日为信徒割草，在第七日休息，因此我没有很多时间来写信。……上帝赐我力量整天劳碌。……我同霍尔特弟兄和约翰·贝尔登弟兄三人已经包下一百英亩的草田，每英亩的工钱是八角七分五厘，饭是吃自己的。赞美主！我希望能在这里得到几块钱来用在圣工上。”{CET 118.2}[14]
§36
“It is rainy today, so that I do not mow, or I should not write. I mow five days for unbelievers, and Sunday for believers, and rest on the seventh day, therefore I have but very little time to write.... God gives me strength to labor hard all day.... Brother Holt, Brother John Belden, and I have taken one hundred acres of grass to mow, at eighty-seven and one-half cents per acre, and board ourselves. Praise the Lord! I hope to get a few dollars here to use in the cause of God.”?{CET 118.2}[14]
§37
结果我丈夫在割草的工作上得到四十块钱，我们用了一部分钱来买几件必需的衣服，剩下的尚够支付来往纽约州西部的路费。{CET 118.3}[15]
§38
As a result of his work in the hayfield, my husband earned forty dollars. With a part of this we purchased some necessary clothing, and had sufficient means left to take us to western New York and return.?{CET 118.3}[15]
§39
当时我的健康欠佳，所以我不能一面旅行而同时又照顾孩子。故此我们把十个月大的小亨利留在米德尔敦的克拉丽莎·班斐姊妹的家里。要我离开我的孩子真是一次严重的考验，但我们不敢让爱孩子的心使我们偏离了本分的道路。耶稣已经舍命来拯救我们。我们所付出的任何牺牲若和祂的相比，该是多么微小啊！{CET 118.4}[16]
§40
My health was poor, and it was impossible for me to travel and have the care of our child. So we left our little Henry, ten months old, at Middletown with Sister Clarissa Bonfoey. It was a severe trial for me to be separated from my child, but we dared not let our affection for him keep us from the path of duty. Jesus laid down His life to save us. How small is any sacrifice we can make compared with His!?{CET 118.4}[16]
§41
【沃尔尼会议】
§42
我们在纽约州头一次的大会是于8月18日在沃尔尼大卫·阿诺德弟兄的谷仓里举行的。赴会的人约有三十五位，——这要算是该州西部所能召集的全部同道了。但在这些人中，几乎没有两个人的看法是完全一致的。有一些人还坚持严重的谬见，而且各人都坚持己见，声称自己的看法是合乎圣经的。{CET 118.5}[17]
§43
【Conference At Volney】
§44
Our first general meeting in western New York, beginning August 18, was held at Volney, in Brother?David Arnold’s barn. About thirty-five were present,—all the friends that could be collected in that part of the State. But of this number there were hardly two agreed. Some were holding serious errors, and each strenuously urged his own views, declaring that they were according to the Scriptures.?{CET 118.5}[17]
§45
这种意见分歧的奇怪现象重重地压在我心上。我发觉有许多人拿谬论当作真理传讲。在我看来，这种情形是羞辱上帝的。我的心灵深为忧伤，终于在这种压力之下晕倒了。有些人恐怕我将要死了。贝约瑟、张伯伦、格尼、爱德森等弟兄和我的丈夫都为我祷告，主垂听了祂仆人们的祈祷，我便醒了过来。{CET 119.1}[18]
§46
These strange differences of opinion rolled a heavy weight upon me. I saw that many errors were being presented as truth. It seemed to me that God was dishonored. Great grief pressed upon my spirits, and I fainted under the burden. Some feared that I was dying. Brethren Bates, Chamberlain, Gurney, Edson, and my husband prayed for me. The Lord heard the prayers of His servants, and I revived.?{CET 119.1}[18]
§47
有天国的光辉照在我的身上，不久我就对地上的事物失去了知觉。同我一起的天使向我指出了与会者的一些错误，也指出了与他们的错误相对照的真理。他们所认为符合圣经的这些不一致的观点，只是根据他们自己对圣经教训的看法，我奉命告诉他们要放弃自己的错误，在第三位天使信息的真理上联合起来。{CET 119.2}[19]
§48
The light of heaven then rested upon me, and I was soon lost to earthly things. My accompanying angel presented before me some of the errors of those present, and also the truth in contrast with their errors. These discordant views, which they claimed were in harmony with the Scriptures, were only according to their opinion of Bible teaching; and I was bidden to tell them that they should yield their errors, and unite upon the truths of the third angel’s message.?{CET 119.2}[19]
§49
我们的会议胜利地结束，真理取得了胜利。我们的弟兄放弃了他们的错误，在第三位天使的信息上联合起来了。上帝大大赐福与他们，加给他们许多人数。[1848年9月，怀长老和怀夫人从纽约州西部回来后，旅行去了缅因州，在那里于10月20-22日与信徒们一起举行了一次会议，就是托普瑟姆会议，在那里弟兄们开始祈求主开道路，好出版关于复临信息的真理。一个月后，1848年11月，他们和一小群弟兄姐妹在马萨诸塞州靠近波士顿的多尔切斯特聚集开会。正是在这次会议期间，得到了关于怀雅各长老要出版第三位天使信息真理的责任的亮光。]?{CET 119.3}[20]
§50
Our meeting closed triumphantly. Truth gained the victory. Our brethren renounced their errors and united upon the third angel’s message, and God greatly blessed them and added many to their numbers. [Following the return from western New York in September, 1848, Elder and Mrs. White journeyed to Maine, where they held a meeting with the believers, October 20-22. This was the Topsham conference, where the brethren began praying that a way might be opened for publishing the truths connected with the advent message. A month later, in November, 1848, they were with a small company of brethren and sisters assembled in conference at Dorchester, near Boston, Massachusetts. It was during this meeting that light was received regarding the duty of Elder James White to publish the truths of the third angel’s message.]?{CET 119.3}[20]
§51
【访问斯诺弟兄】
§52
我们从沃尔尼到相距六十英里的吉布森港，去参赴八月二十七日和二十八日的又一次聚会。八月二十六日，我的丈夫写信给黑斯廷斯弟兄说：“我们在汉尼拔，寄宿在斯诺弟兄家里。那里有八到十个宝贵的生灵。贝约瑟弟兄，爱德森夫妇，和西蒙斯弟兄同他们过了一夜。次日早晨爱伦见了一次异象，当她见异象的时候，弟兄们都进来了。其中有一位还没有接受安息日的真理，但他是心地谦卑而善良的。爱伦在异象中站了起来，拿起了一本大圣经，在主面前把它举了起来，从其中发挥了一番讲论，然后把圣经交给那位谦卑的弟兄，放在他的手里。他泪如泉涌地把它接了过来。随后爱伦就在我旁边坐下。她在异象中共有一个半小时，在此期间，她没有一点呼吸。那真是一个动人的时辰。我们都流了许多快乐的热泪。我们让贝弟兄留在那里，自己则和爱德森弟兄来到此地。”{CET 120.1}[21]
§53
【Visit To Brother Snow】
§54
From Volney we journeyed toward Port Gibson, sixty miles distant, to meet another appointment August 27 and 28. “On our way,” wrote my husband in a letter to Brother Hastings dated August 26, “we stopped at Brother Snow’s in Hannibal. In that place are eight or ten precious souls. Brother Bates, Brother and Sister Edson, and Brother Simmons stopped all night with them. In the morning Ellen was taken off in vision, and while she was in vision, all the brethren came in. One of the number was not with us on the Sabbath [truth], but was humble and good. Ellen rose up in vision, took the large Bible, held it up before the Lord, talked from it, then carried it to this humble brother, and put it in his arms. He took it while tears were rolling down his bosom. Then Ellen came and sat down by me. She was in vision one and a half hours, in which time she did not breathe at all. It was an affecting time. All wept much for joy. We left Brother Bates with them, and came to this place with Brother Edson.”?{CET 120.1}[21]