第46章 纵容的害处
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第46章 纵容的害处
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chap. 46 - Evils of Indulgence
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真爱不是纵容－－爱是开启儿童心灵的钥匙。但父母纵容儿女不合理欲望的爱，却不是对儿女有益的爱。源于爱耶稣之心的最诚挚的爱，必使父母运用智慧的权威，要求儿女立即服从。父母的心与儿女的心必须结合在一起，使他们的家成为输送智慧、美德、宽容、善良和慈爱的渠道。（一）{CG 271.1}[1]
§4
True Love Is Not Indulgent.--Love is the key to a childs heart, but the love that leads parents to indulge their children in unlawful desires is not a love that will work for their good. The earnest affection which springs from love to Jesus will enable parents to exercise judicious authority and to require prompt obedience. The hearts of parents and children need to be welded together, so that as a family they may be a channel through which wisdom, virtue, forbearance, kindness, and love may flow. {CG 271.1}[1]
§5
过度自由造成放浪的子女－－儿童变得不虔诚，是因为享受了过度的自由。他们的意念和欲望都被纵容了。……许多浪子之所以成为浪子，是由于家庭的纵容和父母没有遵行圣道。应当用坚定不移的圣洁原则来维持思想和宗旨，并以始终不逾的好榜样来巩固爱情与坚贞。（二）{CG 271.2}[2]
§6
Too Much Freedom Makes Prodigal Sons.--The reason that children do not become godly is because they are allowed too much freedom. Their will and inclination is indulged. . . . Many prodigal sons become such because of indulgence in the home, because their parents have not been doers of the Word. The mind and purpose are to be sustained by firm, undeviating, sanctified principles. Consistency and affection are to be enforced by a lovely and consistent example. {CG 271.2}[2]
§7
越纵容越难管理－－父母们：应当使家庭成为儿女快乐的地方。我不是说你们要纵容他们。因为越纵容他们就越难管理；他们进入社会以后，就越难度诚实而高尚的人生。你们若让他们随心所欲，他们纯洁可爱的品格很快就会消失。要教导他们顺服，明白必须尊重你们的权威。这也许会使他们现在稍感不舒服，却能避免将来的许多不幸。（三）{CG 271.3}[3]
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The More Indulgence, the Harder the Management.-- Parents, make home happy for your children. By this I do not mean that you are to indulge them. The more they are indulged, the harder they will be to manage, and the more difficult it will be for them to live true, noble lives when they go out into the world. If you allow them to do as they please, their purity and loveliness of character will quickly fade. Teach them to obey. Let them see that your authority must be respected. This may seem to bring them a little unhappiness now, but it will save them from much unhappiness in the future. {CG 271.3}[3]
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放纵年幼犯错的儿童乃是一种罪恶。应当让儿童接受约束。（四）{CG 272.1}[4]
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To indulge a child when young and erring is a sin. A child should be kept under control. {CG 272.1}[4]
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如果让孩子们随心所欲，他们就会以为自己理当受人服侍、照顾、纵容和逗乐。他们会认为自己的欲望和意愿必须得到满足。（五）{CG 272.2}[5]
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If children are allowed to have their own way, they receive the idea that they must be waited upon, cared for, indulged, and amused. They think that their wishes and their will must be gratified. {CG 272.2}[5]
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母亲是否应该时常让儿女随心所欲，任意而行，顽梗不羁呢？绝不可以！因为她这样做，就是让撒但将他地狱的旌旗插在她的家庭里。她应当打儿女自己所无力打的仗。这是她的任务。要斥责魔鬼，恳切地寻求上帝，决不让撒但从她的怀里将孩子夺到他的怀里。（六）{CG 272.3}[6]
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Should she [the mother] not let her child have his own way now and then, let him do just as he wishes, permit him to be disobedient? Certainly not, for just so sure as she does, she lets Satan plant his hellish banner in her house. She must fight the battle of that child which he cannot fight himself. That is her work, to rebuke the devil, to seek God earnestly, and never to let Satan take her child right out of her arms and place him in his arms. {CG 272.3}[6]
§15
纵容导致不安与不满－－在有些家庭里，孩子的愿望就是法律。他要什么，就有什么。他不喜欢的，就鼓励他不喜欢。人们认为这样的纵容会让儿童快乐，其实却导致他不安、不快、对什么也不满意。纵容破坏了他对清淡健康饮食的食欲，使他不化时间去从事简单而有益健康的活动。他今生永世的品格因追求满足而失去了稳定性。（七）{CG 272.4}[7]
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Indulgence Causes Restlessness and Discontent.-- In some families the wishes of the child are law. Everything he desires is given him. Everything he dislikes he is encouraged to dislike. These indulgences are supposed to make the child happy, but it is these very things that make him restless, discontented, and satisfied with nothing. Indulgence has spoiled his appetite for plain, healthful food, for the plain, healthful use of his time; gratification has done the work of unsettling that character for time and for eternity. {CG 272.4}[7]
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以利沙对无礼少年的有效谴责－－那种认为必须顺着任性乖张的孩子的想法是错误的。以利沙在刚刚开始工作时，受到伯特利童子的戏笑嘲弄。他本是一个非常温和的人，但上帝的灵催促他咒诅那些骂他的童子。他们曾经听说以利亚升天的事情，但他们竟然把这件严肃的事，当作嘲笑的口实。以利沙表明，他决不容许任何人嘲笑他所接受的神圣使命，不论是大人还是儿童。当他们告诉他，最好是像以利亚那样上去时，他就奉主的名咒诅了他们。临到这些童子头上的可怕刑罚，乃是出于上帝。{CG 272.5}[8]
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Elishas Effective Rebuke for Disrespect.--The idea that we must submit to ways of perverse children is a mistake. Elisha, at the very commencement of his work, was mocked and derided by the youth of Bethel. He was a man of great mildness, but the Spirit of God impelled him to pronounce a curse upon those railers. They had heard of Elijahs ascension, and they made this solemn event the subject of jeers. Elisha evinced that he was not to be trifled with, by old or young, in his sacred calling. When they told him he had better go up, as Elijah had done before him, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. The awful judgment that came upon them was of God. {CG 272.5}[8]
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这事以后，以利沙在完成他的使命方面，没有遇见过任何更深的麻烦。有五十年之久，他在伯特利的城门走进走出，从这城到那城来往奔走，面对过许许多多最恶劣、最粗野，无所事事，放荡不羁的青少年群伙，却再没有一个人敢嘲笑他，或轻视他作为至高者先知的资格了。（八）{CG 273.1}[9]
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After this, Elisha had no further trouble in his mission. For fifty years he passed in and out of the gate of Bethel, and went to and fro from city to city, passing through crowds of the worst and rudest of idle, dissolute youth; but no one ever mocked him or made light of his qualifications as the prophet of the Most High. {CG 273.1}[9]
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不要屈从于孩子的纠缠－－在结算的日子，父母要为自己对儿女的罪恶放纵负责。许多父母满足儿女一切不合理的要求，因为这比其他方法更容易摆脱孩子的纠缠。要教育孩子以正确的态度接受父母的拒绝，并视之为最后的决定。（九）{CG 273.2}[10]
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Do Not Yield to Coaxing.--Parents will have much to answer for in the day of accounts because of their wicked indulgence of their children. Many gratify every unreasonable wish, because it is easier to be rid of their importunity in this way than in any other. A child should be so trained that a refusal would be received in the right spirit and accepted as final. {CG 273.2}[10]
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不要相信孩子的话过于其他人的话－－父母不要轻易放过儿女的罪恶。当一些忠实的朋友指出这些罪恶时，父母不要以为自己的权利受到了侵犯，是对他们的人身攻击。每一个青少年和儿童的习惯都影响社会的福利。一个青年人错行，会引许多人走上邪恶的道路。（十）{CG 273.3}[11]
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Do Not Take Childs Word Before That of Others.-- Parents should not pass lightly over the sins of their children. When these sins are pointed out by some faithful friend, the parent should not feel that his rights are invaded, that he has received a personal offense. The habits of every youth and every child affect the welfare of society. The wrong course of one youth may lead many others in an evil way. {CG 273.3}[11]
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不要让儿女以为你们相信他们的话，过于相信年长基督徒的话。这样做是对他们的最大危害。你们说自己相信儿女的话，过于相信上帝真实儿女的话，那就是在鼓励他们养成说谎的习惯。（十一）{CG 273.4}[12]
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Do not allow your children to see that you take their word before the statements of older Christians. You cannot do them a greater injury. By saying, I believe my children before I believe those whom I have evidence are children of God, you encourage in them the habit of falsifying. {CG 273.4}[12]
§27
被宠坏之孩子的终生负担－－让孩子任性行事的恶果是不胜描述的。一些由于童年的疏忽而迷路的人，后来借着实际生活的教训也许能归向正道。但许多人由于在孩童和青少年时期只接受片面的教育而永远失丧了。受到纵容的孩子要将终生背负一个很重的担子。在试炼、挫折和试探之中，他们只得循自己未经教养的错误意志。从未学会顺从的孩子，他们的品格势必是软弱冲动的。他们想要领导别人，却还没有学会顺从。他们没有道德的毅力来控制自己任性的脾气，纠正错误的习惯，制服放荡无羁的意志。童年时期教育的缺陷，将在成人后继承下来。败坏了的理智几乎不能辨别是非真假。（十二）{CG 274.1}[13]
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The Heritage of a Spoiled Child.--It is impossible to depict the evil that results from leaving a child to its own will. Some who go astray because of neglect in childhood will later, through the inculcation of practical lessons, come to their senses; but many are lost forever because in childhood and youth they received only a partial, one-sided culture. The child who is spoiled has a heavy burden to carry throughout his life. In trial, in disappointment, in temptation, he will follow his undisciplined, misdirected will. Children who have never learned to obey will have weak, impulsive characters. They seek to rule, but have not learned to submit. They are without moral strength to restrain their wayward tempers, to correct their wrong habits, or to subdue their uncontrolled wills. The blunders of untrained, undisciplined childhood become the inheritance of manhood and womanhood. The perverted intellect can scarcely discern between the true and the false. {CG 274.1}[13]