第45章 凭着爱心和坚定的态度
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第45章 凭着爱心和坚定的态度
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chap. 45 - With Love and Firmness
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两种方法及其结果－－对待儿女有两种方法，其原则与后果大不相同。忠实与爱心，加上智慧与坚定，并遵循上帝的圣言，会给今生和来生带来幸福。疏忽本分，放浪纵欲，不约束和矫正青年的愚行，会导致儿女的不幸和最终的败亡，令父母失望和痛苦。（一）{CG 258.1}[1]
§4
Two Ways and Their End.--There are two ways to deal with children--ways that differ widely in principle and results. Faithfulness and love, united with wisdom and firmness, in accordance with the teachings of Gods Word, will bring happiness in this life and in the next. Neglect of duty, injudicious indulgence, failure to restrain or correct the follies of youth, will result in unhappiness and final ruin to the children and disappointment and anguish to the parents. {CG 258.1}[1]
§5
爱心有一个孪生的姊妹，那就是责任。爱心与责任是并肩而立的。单有爱心而忽略了责任，就会使儿童任性，顽固，偏执，自私和背逆。但若是只尽严厉的责任，而没有爱心去软化及赢得他们的心，也必产生类似的结果。若要正确地训练儿童，就必须将爱心与责任结合起来。（二） {CG 258.2}[2]
§6
Love has a twin sister, which is duty. Love and duty stand side by side. Love exercised while duty is neglected will make children headstrong, willful, perverse, selfish, and disobedient. If stern duty is left to stand alone without love to soften and win, it will have a similar result. Duty and love must be blended in order that children may be properly disciplined. {CG 258.2}[2]
§7
错误不纠正会带来不幸－－何时若有必要拒绝孩童的想望或反对他的心意，就应使他深深体会到此举并非为满足父母的心意，或滥用专横的权威，而是为其本身的益处。他当受教明白，凡未加以纠正的缺点，必给他自己带来忧愁苦恼，还要使上帝不悦。在这种管教之下，孩童们必能发现到自己最大的幸福在于将自己的意志降服于他们天父的旨意。（三）{CG 258.3}[3]
§8
Uncorrected Faults Bring Unhappiness.--Wherever it seems necessary to deny the wishes or oppose the will of a child, he should be seriously impressed with the thought that this is not done for the gratification of the parents, or to indulge arbitrary authority, but for his own good. He should be taught that every fault uncorrected will bring unhappiness to himself and will displease God. Under such discipline children will find their greatest happiness in submitting their own will to the will of their heavenly Father. {CG 258.3}[3]
§9
随从自己的冲动和欲念的青年，今生没有真正的幸福，至终还会丧失永生。（四）{CG 258.4}[4]
§10
Youth who follow their own impulse and inclination can have no real happiness in this life, and in the end will lose eternal life. {CG 258.4}[4]
§11
仁慈要成为家中的规则－－上帝的施政方针，乃是训练儿童的一个范例。在上帝权下是没有压迫的，所以在家庭或学校，也不可有压迫。但父母和教师，都不可使自己的话被儿童当作耳边风。他们若疏忽纠正儿童的错误，上帝就要他们负责。然而他们要尽可能少说责备的话。仁慈应成为家庭和学校的律法。我们应教导儿童遵守主的律法，用坚定慈爱的影响，保守他们脱离罪恶。（五）{CG 259.1}[5]
§12
Kindness to Be the Law of the Home.--Gods method of government is an example of how children are to be trained. There is no oppression in the Lords service, and there is to be no oppression in the home or in the school. Yet neither parents nor teachers should allow disregard of their word to pass unnoticed. Should they neglect to correct the children for doing wrong, God would hold them accountable for their neglect. But let them be sparing of censure. Let kindness be the law of the home and of the school. Let the children be taught to keep the law of the Lord, and let a firm, loving influence restrain them from evil. {CG 259.1}[5]
§13
体谅孩子的无知－－父母们：你们在家中要表现上帝的品格。应当要求儿女顺服，但不要用严厉的话语，而要用亲切仁慈的态度。你们要满怀怜悯，吸引儿女顺服你们。（六）{CG 259.2}[6]
§14
Have Consideration for Childish Ignorance.-- Fathers and mothers, in the home you are to represent Gods disposition. You are to require obedience, not with a storm of words, but in a kind, loving manner. You are to be so full of compassion that your children will be drawn to you. {CG 259.2}[6]
§15
在家里要友善。不说任何会惹起不圣洁脾气的话语。上帝吩咐我们：“你们作父亲的，不要惹儿女的气”（西3:21）。要记住你们的儿女年纪还轻，经验还少。在管理和教育他们时，要既坚决又温柔。（七）{CG 259.3}[7]
§16
Be pleasant in the home. Restrain every word that would arouse unholy temper. Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, is a divine injunction. Remember that your children are young in years and experience. In controlling and disciplining them, be firm, but kind. {CG 259.3}[7]
§17
儿童不一定都能辨别是非。可惜在他们犯错误时，往往遭到严厉的对待，而不是亲切的教导。（八）{CG 259.4}[8]
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Children do not always discern right from wrong, and when they do wrong, they are often treated harshly, instead of being kindly instructed. {CG 259.4}[8]
§19
圣经既不允许父母苛刻或压制，也不允许儿女悖逆不孝。在家庭生活和国家的治理中，上帝的律法都是从无限慈爱的心中涌流出来的。（九）{CG 259.5}[9]
§20
No license is given in Gods Word for parental severity or oppression or for filial disobedience. The law of God, in the home life and in the government of nations, flows from a heart of infinite love. {CG 259.5}[9]
§21
同情似乎没有前途的儿童－－我认为父母应当以基督的智慧对待他们犯错误的儿女。……似乎没有前途的儿童，需要极大的耐心和仁慈。可是许多父母却表显出冷淡而毫无怜悯的精神。这决不可能引领犯错的儿童悔改。父母的心要被基督的恩典软化。这样，祂的慈爱就会进入孩子的心。（十）{CG 260.1}[10]
§22
Sympathy for the Unpromising Child.--I see the necessity of parents dealing in the wisdom of Christ with their erring children. . . . It is the unpromising ones who need the greatest patience and kindness, the most tender sympathy. But many parents reveal a cold, unpitying spirit, which will never lead the erring to repentance. Let the hearts of parents be softened by the grace of Christ, and His love will find a way to the heart. {CG 260.1}[10]
§23
救主的规则：“你们愿意人怎样待你们，你们也要怎样待人”（路6:31），也当作为训练儿童和青少年之人的规则。他们是上帝家里年幼的成员，与我们一同承受生命之恩。对最迟钝、最年幼、最浮躁、甚至是妄行叛逆的人，都要恪守基督的规则。（十一）{CG 260.2}[11]
§24
The Saviours rule--As ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise (Luke 6:31)-- should be the rule of all who undertake the training of children and youth. They are the younger members of the Lords family, heirs with us of the grace of life. Christs rule should be sacredly observed toward the dullest, the youngest, the most blundering, and even toward the erring and rebellious. {CG 260.2}[11]
§25
帮助儿童获胜－－上帝温柔地对待儿童。祂希望他们每天取得胜利。我们应当尽力帮助儿童成为得胜者。不要让他们自己家中的成员对他们施暴。不要用你的言行激怒孩子。他们犯错误时要忠实地管教纠正。（十二）{CG 260.3}[12]
§26
Help Children to Overcome.--God has a tender regard for the children. He wants them to gain victories every day. Let us all endeavor to help the children to be overcomers. Do not let offenses come to them from the very members of their own family. Do not permit your actions and your words to be of a nature that your children will be provoked to wrath. Yet they must be faithfully disciplined and corrected when they do wrong. {CG 260.3}[12]
§27
尽可能予以称赞－－孩子若有好行为，就当称赞他们，因为聪明的称赞对他们是大有益处的，就象对年龄较大、悟性较好的人一样。在家庭的圣所里决不可刚愎自用。要仁慈亲切，表现基督化的礼貌，感谢和称赞儿女对你的帮助。（十三）{CG 260.4}[13]
§28
Give Praise Whenever Possible.--Praise the children when they do well, for judicious commendation is as great a help to them as it is to those older in years and understanding. Never be cross-grained in the sanctuary of the home. Be kind and tenderhearted, showing Christian politeness, thanking and commending your children for the help they give you. {CG 260.4}[13]
§29
心情要愉快。说话不要声色俱厉。在约束和管教儿女时要既坚决又亲切。要鼓励他们尽家庭成员的义务。赞赏他们遏制自己犯罪倾向的努力。（十四）{CG 260.5}[14]
§30
Be pleasant. Never speak loud, passionate words. In restraining and disciplining your children, be firm, but kind. Encourage them to do their duty as members of the family firm. Express your appreciation of the efforts they put forth to restrain their inclinations to do wrong. {CG 260.5}[14]
§31
你们盼望儿女负起家庭责任时作怎样的人，自己就当作怎样的人。你们希望他们怎样说话，自己就当怎样说话。（十五）{CG 261.1}[15]
§32
Be just what you wish your children to be when they shall have charge of families of their own. Speak as you would have them speak. {CG 261.1}[15]
§33
注意说话的声调－－说话时声调要镇定而诚恳，不含一点忿怒。怒气未必能获得立即的顺服。（十六）{CG 261.2}[16]
§34
Guard Tones of the Voice.--Speak always in a calm, earnest voice, in which no trace of passion is expressed. Passion is not necessary to secure prompt obedience. {CG 261.2}[16]
§35
父母们：你们要为自己的儿女负责。要注意你们对他们的影响。不可因责骂和烦躁损及自己向善的感化力。要引导他们，不要激起他们的恼怒之心。无论你们受何刺激，都要慎防自己的声调表露出忿怒的情绪。不要让他们看见你们表现撒但的精神。因为这无助于训练你们的儿女承受将来的永生。（十七）{CG 261.3}[17]
§36
Fathers and mothers, you are responsible for your children. Be careful under what influences you place them. Do not, by scolding or fretting, lose your own influence over them for good. You are to guide them, not to stir up the passions of their mind. Whatever provocation you may have, be sure that the tone of your voice betrays no irritation. Do not let them see in you a manifestation of the spirit of Satan. This will not help you to fit and train your children for the future, immortal life. {CG 261.3}[17]
§37
公义要当与怜悯相结合－－上帝是我们的立法者和君王。父母们应当接受祂的统治。这种统治禁止父母的一切压制和儿女的一切悖逆。主充满慈爱、怜悯与诚实。祂的律法是圣洁、公义，良善的，是父母和儿女必须遵顺从的。管理父母与儿女生活的律法，源于无限慈爱之心。上帝丰盛的福惠，必降于凡在家里执行祂律法的父母身上，也降在凡遵守这律法的儿女身上。怜悯与公正相结合的感化力要显现出来。“慈爱和诚实彼此相遇；公义和平安彼此相亲”（诗85:10）。服从这种规则的家庭，必行在主的道路上，秉公行义。（十八）{CG 261.4}[18]
§38
Justice to Be Blended With Mercy.--God is our lawgiver and king, and parents are to place themselves under His rule. This rule forbids all oppression from parents and all disobedience from children. The Lord is full of loving-kindness, mercy, and truth. His law is holy, just, and good, and must be obeyed by parents and children. The rules which should regulate the lives of parents and children flow from a heart of infinite love, and Gods rich blessings will rest upon those parents who administer His law in their homes, and upon the children who obey this law. The combined influence of mercy and justice is to be felt. Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other. Households under this discipline will walk in the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment. {CG 261.4}[18]
§39
父母若实施专制的管理，就是犯下了可怕的错误。他不但得罪儿女，也得罪了自己，熄灭了他们幼小心灵中表现仁慈言行的爱心。而对儿女所表现的仁慈、宽容和爱心，也必反映到父母身上。他们种的是什么，收的也是什么。……{CG 262.1}[19]
§40
The parent who permits his rule to become a despotism is making a terrible mistake. He wrongs not only his children but himself, quenching in their young hearts the love that would flow out in acts and words of affection. Kindness, forbearance, and love, manifested to children, will be reflected back upon the parents. That which they sow, they will also reap. . . . {CG 262.1}[19]
§41
你要主持正义的时候，要记住她有个孪生的姐妹叫怜悯。两者是并存而不可分开的。（十九）{CG 262.2}[20]
§42
While you seek to administer justice, remember that she has a twin sister, which is mercy. The two stand side by side and should not be separated. {CG 262.2}[20]
§43
严厉的处罚会激起反抗的精神。劝勉严厉的父母－－严厉和公正若不与仁爱相结合，就不能引导儿女行善。要注意反抗的精神如何迅速在他们的心中激起。有一种方法比强迫更好。公正有个孪生的姐妹叫慈爱。让慈爱与公正携手处理问题，你就必获得上帝的帮助来配合你的努力。你仁慈的救赎主希望祝福你，把祂的心，祂的恩惠和祂的救恩赐给你，使你拥有上帝所悦纳的品格。（二十）{CG 262.3}[21]
§44
Severity Arouses Combative Spirit. Counsel to Stern Parents.--Severity and justice, unmingled with love, will not lead your children to do right. Notice how quickly the combative spirit is aroused in them. Now there is a better way to manage them than by mere compulsion. Justice has a twin sister, which is love. Let love and justice clasp hands in all your management, and you will surely have the help of God to co-operate with your efforts. The Lord, your gracious Redeemer, wants to bless you, and give you His mind, and His grace, and His salvation, that you may have a character which God can approve. {CG 262.3}[21]
§45
父母的权威应当是绝对的，但这种权威不可以滥用。在管理儿女时，父亲不应反复无常，而应顺从圣经的标准。他如果让本性的苛刻作主，就变成了一个暴君。（二一）{CG 262.4}[22]
§46
The authority of the parents should be absolute, yet this power is not to be abused. In the control of his children the father should not be governed by caprice, but by the Bible standard. When he permits his own harsh traits of character to bear sway, he becomes a despot. {CG 262.4}[22]
§47
需要责备，但要以仁爱亲切的态度－－你无疑会发现儿女身上的缺点和任性。有些父母会告诉你，他们劝戒和惩罚儿女，却看不出有什么真正的效果。惟愿这等父母采用新的方法。在管理家庭时要结合亲切、爱心与仁慈，同时在正义的原则上坚如磐石。（二二）{CG 262.5}[23]
§48
Reprove, but With Affectionate Tenderness.--No doubt you will see faults and waywardness on the part of your children. Some parents will tell you that they talk to and punish their children, but they cannot see that it does them any real good. Let such parents try new methods. Let them mingle kindness and affection and love with their family government, and yet let them be as firm as a rock to right principles. {CG 262.5}[23]
§49
与青年打交道的人不应铁石心肠，而应亲切、温柔、怜悯、礼貌，有吸引力和友善。他们还要知道，有时需要用责备，甚至严厉的谴责，来防止一些罪行。（二三）{CG 263.1}[24]
§50
None who deal with the young should be ironhearted, but affectionate, tender, pitiful, courteous, winning, and companionable; yet they should know that reproofs must be given, and that even rebuke may have to be spoken to cut off some evil-doing. {CG 263.1}[24]
§51
我蒙指示对父母们说，要提高你们在家里行为的标准。要教导儿女们顺服。要以爱心结合基督化的权威来管理他们。但愿你们的生活象经上称赞哥尼流的话：“他是个虔诚人，他和全家都敬畏上帝”（徒10:2）。（二四）{CG 263.2}[25]
§52
I am instructed to say to parents, Raise the standard of behavior in your own homes. Teach your children to obey. Rule them by the combined influence of affection and Christlike authority. Let your lives be such that of you may be spoken the words of commendation spoken of Cornelius, of whom it is said that he feared God with all his house. {CG 263.2}[25]
§53
不要过度严厉，也不要过度放任－－我们不赞成用严厉的谴责使儿童灰心的管教，或以感情用事的手段激怒他们，然后又转变情绪，连连亲嘴来安抚他们，或以无理的满足来危害他们。要避免过度的放任和不恰当的严厉。警觉和坚定是不可少的；同情和温柔也是不可少的。父母们：要记住你们所照管的儿女正在与试探作斗争。他们所抵制犯罪作恶的倾向，是与成年人一样强烈的。诚心行善的儿童可能屡遭失败，需要不断得到鼓励，才能继续不倦的努力。要警醒祈祷，关注这些青年人的思想活动。要加强每一个向善的动机，鼓励每一件高尚的行为。（二五） {CG 263.3}[26]
§54
Exercise Neither Severity nor Excessive Indulgence.-- We have no sympathy with that discipline which would discourage children by hard censure, or irritate them by passionate correction, and then, as the impulse changes, smother them with kisses, or harm them by injurious gratification. Excessive indulgence and undue severity are alike to be avoided. While vigilance and firmness are indispensable, so also are sympathy and tenderness. Parents, remember that you deal with children who are struggling with temptation, and that to them these evil promptings are as hard to resist as are those that assail persons of mature years. Children who really desire to do right may fail again and again, and as often need encouragement to energy and perseverance. Watch the working of these young minds with prayerful solicitude. Strengthen every good impulse; encourage every noble action. {CG 263.3}[26]
§55
始终坚定和不感情用事－－儿童有敏感可爱的天性。他们很容易欢喜也很容易不快乐。母亲藉着亲爱的言行温柔地管教，就可使孩子与自己心连心。向孩子表示严厉和苛求乃是大错。始终坚定和不感情用事的管理乃是每个家庭的训练所必需的。要平静地说出你的意思，三思而后行，并且一丝不苟地执行你所说的。{CG 264.1}[27]
§56
Maintain Uniform Firmness, Unimpassioned Control.-- Children have sensitive, loving natures. They are easily pleased and easily made unhappy. By gentle discipline in loving words and acts, mothers may bind their children to their hearts. Uniform firmness and unimpassioned control are necessary to the discipline of every family. Say what you mean calmly, move with consideration, and carry out what you say without deviation. {CG 264.1}[27]
§57
你们和自己的儿女交往时表现的情意是会得到报偿的。不可因对他们幼稚的游戏，喜乐和忧伤缺乏同情而拒绝他们。决不要愁眉苦脸，或脱口说出一句刺耳的话。（二六）{CG 264.2}[28]
§58
It will pay to manifest affection in your association with your children. Do not repel them by lack of sympathy in their childish sports, joys, and griefs. Never let a frown gather upon your brow, or a harsh word escape your lips. {CG 264.2}[28]
§59
即使是亲切也须有其限度。当以坚决严正来保持权威，否则许多孩子会报以取笑与轻蔑。所谓之温慈，就一般父母和监护人对青年所行的而言，无异是哄骗与放任，这乃是能加于他们身上的最大祸害。坚定、果断、肯定的要求，这都是每个家庭所不可或缺的。（二七）{CG 264.3}[29]
§60
Even kindness must have its limits. Authority must be sustained by a firm severity, or it will be received by many with mockery and contempt. The so-called tenderness, the coaxing and the indulgence used toward youth, by parents and guardians, is the worst evil which can come upon them. Firmness, decision, positive requirements, are essential in every family. {CG 264.3}[29]
§61
要记住自己的错误－－父母要记住自己只是长大了的孩子。他们的道路虽有大光照耀，并拥有多年的经验，但也很容易产生妒忌和恶意的猜测。他们因自己的错误和谬见，应该学会温柔地对待自己犯错的儿女。（二八）{CG 264.4}[30]
§62
Remember Your Own Mistakes.--Let father and mother remember that they themselves are but grown-up children. Though great light has shone upon their pathway and they have had long experience, yet how easily are they stirred to envy, jealousy, and evil surmisings. Because of their own mistakes and errors they should learn to deal gently with their erring children. {CG 264.4}[30]
§63
你们有时可能因儿女违背你们的吩咐而烦恼。但你们有没有想到自己也曾屡次违背主对你们的吩咐呢？（二九）{CG 264.5}[31]
§64
You may feel annoyed sometimes because your children go contrary to what you have told them. But have you ever thought that many times you go contrary to what the Lord has commanded you to do? {CG 264.5}[31]
§65
如何赢得爱和信任－－父母及教师们有发号施令太多，同时却没有与其子女或学生充分交流的危险。他们往往过于矜持，以冷酷无情的态度，行使自己的权威，这样作并不能赢得儿女和学生的心。他们若能把儿女和学生召聚到身边，向他们显示爱心，关心他们的努力和娱乐，有时还要自己作一个孩子与他们同玩，就能使儿童十分快乐，并博得他们的爱戴和信任，儿童就会更快学会尊重，并爱戴他们父母和教师的权威。（三十）{CG 265.1}[32]
§66
How to Win Love and Confidence.--There is danger that both parents and teachers will command and dictate too much, while they fail to come sufficiently into social relation with their children or scholars. They often hold themselves too much reserved and exercise their authority in a cold, unsympathizing manner, which cannot win the hearts of their children and pupils. If they would gather the children close to them, and show that they love them, and would manifest an interest in all their efforts, and even in their sports, sometimes even being a child among them, they would make the children very happy and would gain their love and win their confidence. And the children would more quickly learn to respect and love the authority of their parents and teachers. {CG 265.1}[32]
§67
努力效法基督－－祂和卑微，贫穷，受苦的人打成一片。祂将小孩子们抱在怀中，降低到青年人的水平。祂那伟大的爱心能理解他们的考验和需要，且与他们同乐。祂的精神因拥挤城市的匆忙与混乱而疲倦，因与狡诈伪善的人交往而厌烦，却在天真无邪的小孩子们的陪伴中寻得了安息与平安。祂的临格从不排斥他们。天上的至尊者谦逊地回答他们的一切问题，并简化祂的重要教训，以适应他们幼稚的理解力。祂在他们幼嫩而正在扩展的心智中，种下了当他们成长之后必发芽结出丰满果实来的真理种子。（三一）{CG 265.2}[33]
§68
Seek to Imitate Christ.--He [Christ] identified Himself with the lowly, the needy, and the afflicted. He took little children in His arms and descended to the level of the young. His large heart of love could comprehend their trials and necessities, and He enjoyed their happiness. His spirit, wearied with the bustle and confusion of the crowded city, tired of association with crafty and hypocritical men, found rest and peace in the society of innocent children. His presence never repulsed them. The Majesty of heaven condescended to answer their questions, and simplified His important lessons to meet their childish understanding. He planted in their young, expanding minds the seeds of truth that would spring up and produce a plentiful harvest in their riper years. {CG 265.2}[33]
§69
犯错的青年需要同情－－我读过你们的信，深感兴趣与同情。我要说，你们的儿子现在空前地需要父亲。他犯了错误，你们是知道的。他也晓得你们知道。你们在他清白之时对他所说的话，可能无害而不发生不良后果，如今却似锐利残酷的尖刀。……我知道父母对于儿女犯了错误，造成羞耻，深感伤痛。然而这犯错的孩子带给肉身父母的伤心，岂能比身为上帝儿女的我们使天父伤心得更甚？祂一直爱我们，现在还继续爱我们，邀请我们回转，悔改我们的罪恶过犯，这样，祂就会赦免我们的罪孽。{CG 266.1}[34]
§70
An Errant Youth Who Needed Sympathy.--Your letters I have read with interest and sympathy. I would say your son now needs a father as he has never needed one before. He has erred; you know it, and he knows that you know it; and words that you would have spoken to him in his innocency with safety, and which would not have produced any bad results, would now seem like unkindness and be sharp as a knife. . . . I know that parents feel the shame of the wrongdoing of a child that has dishonored them very keenly, but does the erring one wound and bruise the heart of the earthly parent any more than we as the children of God bruise our heavenly Parent, who has given us and is still giving us His love, inviting us to return and repent of our sins and iniquities and He will pardon our transgression? {CG 266.1}[34]
§71
现在不要撤回你们的爱。他现在比以往任何时候都更需要爱心和同情。当别人以冷面孔看你们的孩子，对他所犯的错误抱最坏的想法时，父母岂不该以温柔和怜悯，设法引导他的脚步走上安全的道路吗？我不知道你们的孩子犯了什么性质的罪。但我完全可以说，不论他犯什么样的罪，你们都不应该听那班自以为在维持公正之人的评论，受制于他们行为的压力，而采取一种行动，让孩子以为你们太伤感太羞耻，不再信任他，不愿忘记他的过错。无论在什么情况下，都不要绝望，而切断你们对犯错孩子的爱心与柔情。正因为他犯了错，才需要你们，希望父母来帮助他脱离撒但的网罗。你们当以信心和爱心拉住他，并紧握那位怜悯为怀的救赎主，记住有一位甚至比你们更关心他。……{CG 266.2}[35]
§72
Do not withdraw your love now. That love and sympathy is needed now as never before. When others look with coldness and put the worst construction upon the misdeeds of your boy, should not the father and mother in pitying tenderness seek to guide his footsteps into safe paths? I do not know the character of your sons sins, but I am safe in saying, whatever they may be, Let no comments from human lips, no pressure from human actions, of those who think they are doing justice, lead you to pursue a course which can be interpreted by your son that you feel too much mortified and dishonored to ever take him back into confidence and to forget his transgressions. Let nothing cause you to lose hope, nothing to cut off your love and tenderness for the erring one. Just because he is erring, he needs you, and he wants a father and a mother to help him to recover himself from the snare of Satan. Hold him fast by faith and love, and cling to the all-pitying Redeemer, remembering that he has One who has an interest in him, even above your own. . . . {CG 266.2}[35]
§73
不要说灰心失望的话。要谈论勇气。告诉他仍可改过迁善。你们是他的父母，会帮助他握住从上头来的能力，使他的脚稳站在坚固的磐石耶稣基督身上，并在耶稣里获得可靠的支持和无穷的能力。假如你儿子的过失非常严重，不住地对他提说是救不了他的。要采取适当的行动，拯救一个灵魂脱离死亡，并防止他犯许多的罪。（三二）{CG 267.1}[36]
§74
Do not talk discouragement and hopelessness. Talk courage. Tell him he can redeem himself, that you, his father and mother, will help him to take hold from above to plant his feet on the solid Rock, Christ Jesus, to find a sure support and unfailing strength in Jesus. If his fault be ever so grievous, it will not cure your son to press this constantly upon him. A right course of action is needed to save a soul from death and keep a soul from committing a multitude of sins. {CG 267.1}[36]
§75
寻求上帝的帮助克服急躁的脾气－－我要对每一位父母说，你们如果脾气急躁，就当寻求上帝的帮助来克服它。你们若受到刺激而不耐烦，就当进入内室，跪下求上帝帮助你们对儿女发挥正确的影响。（三三） {CG 267.2}[37]
§76
Seek Divine Help to Overcome Hasty Temper.--I wish to say to every father and mother, If you have a hasty temper, seek God for help to overcome it. When you are provoked to impatience, go to your chamber, and kneel down and ask God to help you that you may have a right influence over your children. {CG 267.2}[37]
§77
母亲们：当你们感到不耐烦而要严厉对待儿女时，你们不是在向基督学习，而是在向另一主人学习。耶稣说：“我心里柔和谦卑，你们当负我的轭，学我的样式；这样，你们心里就必得享安息；因为我的轭是容易的，我的担子是轻省的”（太11:29,30）。你们若觉得自己的工作辛苦，埋怨困难与试炼，说自己无力抗拒试探，无法胜过急躁的脾气，过基督化的人生实在艰难，这时，你们就可确知自己并没有负基督的轭，而是负另一个主人的轭。（三四）{CG 267.3}[38]
§78
Mothers, when you yield to impatience and deal harshly with your children, you are not learning of Christ, but of another master. Jesus says, Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. When you find your work hard, when you complain of difficulties and trials, when you say that you have no strength to withstand temptation, that you cannot overcome impatience, and that the Christian life is uphill work, be sure that you are not bearing the yoke of Christ; you are bearing the yoke of another master. {CG 267.3}[38]
§79
反映上帝的形像－－教会需要一班有温柔安静的心，恒久忍耐而有耐心的人。他们应当在对待家人时学习这些美德。父母应当多关心儿女的永久福利，过于关心自己现在的安逸。他们应当视儿女为主家庭年幼的成员，教育和训练他们反映上帝的形像。（三五）{CG 267.4}[39]
§80
Reflecting the Divine Image.--The church needs men of a meek and quiet spirit, who are long-suffering and patient. Let them learn these attributes in dealing with their families. Let parents think a great deal more of their childrens eternal interests than they do of their present comfort. Let them look upon their children as younger members of the Lords family, and train and discipline them in such a way as will lead them to reflect the divine image. {CG 267.4}[39]