第44章 纠正性管教的实施
§1
第44章 纠正性管教的实施
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chap. 44 - Administration of Corrective Discipline
§3
恳求主来管理－－你的家庭中要倡导顺从；但你这样做时，要与儿女一同寻求主，求祂来管理。你的儿女或许犯有一些需要惩罚的过错。你若按照基督的精神来处理，他们的膀臂就会抱住你的颈项，并在主的面前自卑，承认自己的过错。这就够了。此时他们也无需惩罚了。我们应当感谢主，因为祂打开了门路，使我们能感动每一个生灵。（一）{CG 244.1}[1]
§4
Ask the Lord to Come In and Rule.--Exact obedience in your family; but while you do this, seek the Lord with your children, and ask Him to come in and rule. Your children may have done something that demands punishment; but if you deal with them in the spirit of Christ, their arms will be thrown about your neck; they will humble themselves before the Lord and will acknowledge their wrong. That is enough. They do not then need punishment. Let us thank the Lord that He has opened the way by which we may reach every soul. {CG 244.1}[1]
§5
你的儿女如果不听话，就要予以纠正。……但在纠正他们之先，你要独自退到一边求主使你儿女的心软化顺服，并求祂赐你智慧来正确对待他们。据我所知，这种方法从来没有失败过。你心里生气时，是无法让孩子明白属灵之事的。（二）{CG 244.2}[2]
§6
If your children are disobedient, they should be corrected. . . . Before correcting them, go by yourself, and ask the Lord to soften and subdue the hearts of your children and to give you wisdom in dealing with them. Never in a single instance have I known this method to fail. You cannot make a child understand spiritual things when the heart is stirred with passion. {CG 244.2}[2]
§7
耐心地教导儿童－－主希望这些儿童自幼就把自己的心献给祂。在他们年幼无法说服时，要尽量转变他们的心。当他们年纪渐长时，就当言传身教，不能纵容他们错误的欲望。{CG 244.3}[3]
§8
Instruct Children Patiently.--The Lord wants the hearts of these children from their very babyhood to be given to His service. While they are too young to reason with, divert their minds as best you can; and as they become older, teach them by precept and example that you cannot indulge their wrong desires. {CG 244.3}[3]
§9
要耐心地教导他们。有时不免要惩罚他们，但决不要使他们觉得你是为泄忿而惩罚他们。若这样做，你就会造成更大的祸害。父母听从主的劝导来训练儿女，能避免家中许多不愉快的争端。（三）{CG 244.4}[4]
§10
Instruct them patiently. Sometimes they will have to be punished, but never do it in such a way that they will feel that they have been punished in anger. By such a course you only work a greater evil. Many unhappy differences in the family circle might be avoided if parents would obey the counsel of the Lord in the training of their children. {CG 244.4}[4]
§11
父母当服从上帝的管教－－母亲们：不论儿女怎样愚昧、惹你生气，你都要忍耐。要耐心仁慈地教导他们，严格地管教他们。不要让撒但控制他们。你们惟有服从上帝的管教，才能管教儿女。你们若向那位温柔谦卑、纯洁无瑕的主学习，基督就会在你们儿女的人生中获得胜利。（四）{CG 245.1}[5]
§12
Parents to Be Under Discipline to God.--Mothers, however provoking your children may be in their ignorance, do not give way to impatience. Teach them patiently and lovingly. Be firm with them. Do not let Satan control them. Discipline them only when you are under the discipline of God. Christ will be victor in the lives of your children if you will learn of Him who is meek and lowly, pure and undefiled. {CG 245.1}[5]
§13
但是你们如果不能克己自制、不想办法，不经思考和祈祷，却试图管理儿女，那就会收获痛苦的后果。（五）{CG 245.2}[6]
§14
But if you attempt to govern without exercising self-control, without system, thought, and prayer, you will most assuredly reap the bitter consequences. {CG 245.2}[6]
§15
不可在忿怒中施行纠正－－你要凭着爱心纠正儿女。不要任凭他们随自己的意思而行，直到你生气了，才去责罚他们。这样的纠正无济于事，只能使错误加重。（六）{CG 245.3}[7]
§16
Never Correct in Anger.--You should correct your children in love. Do not let them have their own way until you get angry, and then punish them. Such correction only helps on the evil, instead of remedying it. {CG 245.3}[7]
§17
对犯错误的孩子发脾气，只能使错误加重。这样做会激起儿童最坏的情绪，使他觉得你不爱他。他会推测，你如果爱他，就不会这样待他。{CG 245.4}[8]
§18
To manifest passion toward an erring child is to increase the evil. It arouses the worst passions of the child and leads him to feel that you do not care for him. He reasons with himself that you could not treat him so if you cared. {CG 245.4}[8]
§19
你以为上帝不知道纠正儿女的方式吗？祂是知道的。祂还知道如果用争取、而不是排斥的方法进行纠正，就会有何等有福的结果。……{CG 245.5}[9]
§20
And think you that God takes no cognizance of the way in which these children are corrected? He knows, and He knows also what might be the blessed results if the work of correction were done in a way to win rather than to repel. . . . {CG 245.5}[9]
§21
我劝你不要在动怒时纠正儿女。在这种情况下你行事应当谦卑、忍耐并藉着祈祷。要与儿女一同跪下，祈求主的饶恕。要显出仁慈与爱心，设法引领他们归向基督。这样，你就必发现有一种比属世的力量更高的力量，在配合你的努力。（七）{CG 245.6}[10]
§22
Do not, I beg of you, correct your children in anger. That is the time of all times when you should act with humility and patience and prayer. Then is the time to kneel down with the children and ask the Lord for pardon. Seek to win them to Christ by the manifestation of kindness and love, and you will see that a higher power than that of earth is co-operating with your efforts. {CG 245.6}[10]
§23
在你必须纠正儿女的时候，不要高声吆喝。……不要丧失自制。父母在纠正儿女时如果生气，其错误就比儿女更大。（八）{CG 246.1}[11]
§24
When you are obliged to correct a child, do not raise the voice to a high key. . . . Do not lose your self-control. The parent who, when correcting a child, gives way to anger is more at fault than the child. {CG 246.1}[11]
§25
责骂与烦恼无济于事－－刺耳愤怒的话语并非出自天上。责骂和恼怒从来无济于事，反而激起人心最恶劣的情绪。当你的儿女做了坏事并且充满反叛的精神，而你受试探要严厉地说话行事时，要先等待一下再纠正他们。要给他们机会去思考，也让你的脾气冷静下来。{CG 246.2}[12]
§26
Scolding and Fretting Never Help.--Harsh, angry words are not of heavenly origin. Scolding and fretting never help. Instead, they stir up the worst feelings of the human heart. When your children do wrong and are filled with rebellion, and you are tempted to speak and act harshly, wait before you correct them. Give them an opportunity to think, and allow your temper to cool. {CG 246.2}[12]
§27
当你温柔亲切地对待儿女时，他们和你们都必蒙主祝福。在上帝审判之日，会有人后悔自己曾忍耐亲切地对待自己的儿女吗？（九）{CG 246.3}[13]
§28
As you deal kindly and tenderly with your children, they and you will receive the blessing of the Lord. And think you that in the day of Gods judgment anyone will regret that he has been patient and kind with his children? {CG 246.3}[13]
§29
紧张不能作为暴躁的借口－－有时父母原谅自己的过错，说是当时的心情不好。他们的神经紧张，以为自己无法忍耐，镇静，及快乐地说话。他们这样，乃是自欺，并使撒但开心，撒但因他们没有认清上帝的恩典足够他们克服其本性的弱点而欢跃。他们是能够和应当时时自制的。这是上帝要他们行的。（十）{CG 246.4}[14]
§30
Nervousness Is No Excuse for Impatience.--Parents sometimes excuse their own wrong course because they do not feel well. They are nervous and think they cannot be patient and calm and speak pleasantly. In this they deceive themselves and please Satan, who exults that the grace of God is not regarded by them as sufficient to overcome natural infirmities. They can and should at all times control themselves. God requires it of them. {CG 246.4}[14]
§31
有时父母因劳累挂虑而无法镇定，表现出不耐烦来，令上帝不悦，使家庭乌云笼罩。父母们：你们在烦恼的时候，不要让危险的怒气毒害家庭，以致铸成大错。这时你们要加倍警惕，决心口中只说和善愉快的话语。通过这样运用自制之力，你们就会坚强起来。你们的神经系统也不会那么容易受伤害了。……耶稣知道我们的软弱。祂在凡事上有过我们的一切经历，只是祂没有犯罪。因此祂为我们预备了一条我们力所能及的道路。{CG 246.5}[15]
§32
Sometimes when fatigued by labor or oppressed with care, parents do not maintain a calm spirit, but manifest a lack of forbearance that displeases God and brings a cloud over the family. Parents, when you feel fretful, you should not commit so great a sin as to poison the whole family with this dangerous irritability. At such times set a double watch over yourselves and resolve that none but pleasant, cheerful words shall escape your lips. By thus exercising self-control, you will grow stronger. Your nervous system will not be so sensitive. . . . Jesus knows our infirmities and has Himself shared our experience in all things but in sin; therefore He has prepared for us a path suited to our strength and capacity. {CG 246.5}[15]
§33
有时家中似乎事事都不顺利。大家都容易生气，十分痛苦和伤心。父母责怪可怜的儿女，认为他们既悖逆又倔强，是世上最坏的儿女。可是烦恼的原因却在他们自己身上。上帝要求他们实行自制。他们应该明白，自己若不耐烦和焦躁，就会使别人受累。周围的人都受他们精神的影响。这些人如果也表现这样的精神，祸害就会有增无已了。（十一） {CG 247.1}[16]
§34
Sometimes everything seems to go wrong in the family circle. There is fretfulness all around, and all seem very miserable and unhappy. The parents lay the blame upon their poor children and think them very disobedient and unruly, the worst children in the world, when the cause of the disturbance is in themselves. God requires them to exercise self-control. They should realize that when they yield to impatience and fretfulness, they cause others to suffer. Those around them are affected by the spirit they manifest, and if they in their turn act out the same spirit, the evil is increased. {CG 247.1}[16]
§35
有时在沉默中有能力－－凡希望管理别人的人，必须先管好自己。……父母或教师在失去耐心、有可能出言不慎时，要保持沉默。在沉默中有奇妙的能力。（十二）{CG 247.2}[17]
§36
There Is Sometimes Power in Silence.--Those who desire to control others must first control themselves. . . . When a parent or teacher becomes impatient and is in danger of speaking unwisely, let him remain silent. There is wonderful power in silence. {CG 247.2}[17]
§37
少发命令;令出必从－－母亲应当慎重，不要提出不必要的要求，在别人面前显示自己的权威。要少发命令，但既发出命令就必须保证得到顺从。（十三）{CG 247.3}[18]
§38
Give Few Commands; Then Require Obedience.-- Let mothers be careful not to make unnecessary requirements to exhibit their own authority before others. Give few commands, but see that these are obeyed. {CG 247.3}[18]
§39
在管教儿女时，不要放任他们对你吩咐的漠视。不可让你的思想专注于其他事情，以致心不在焉。也不可因儿女的疏忽，做了你所禁止的事，就厌倦自己监护的责任。（十四）{CG 247.4}[19]
§40
Do not . . . in your discipline of children release them from that which you have required them to do. Do not let your mind become so absorbed in other things as to cause you to grow careless. And do not become wearied in your guardianship because your children forget and do that which you have forbidden them to do. {CG 247.4}[19]
§41
你所发一切命令的目的，都应是帮助儿女获得最大的利益，然后要确保命令的实施。你的力量和决心必须坚定不移，但要始终顺从基督之灵的引导。（十五）{CG 248.1}[20]
§42
In all your commands aim to secure the highest good of your children, and then see that these commands are obeyed. Your energy and decision must be unwavering, yet ever in subjection to the Spirit of Christ. {CG 248.1}[20]
§43
如何对待疏忽的儿童－－你要求孩子去做一件事时，他回答说：“知道了，我会去做的。”然后他却疏忽了，没有履行他的诺言，这时你不可以随便放过。你要让孩子为这次疏忽负责。你如果不加注意，将此事放过，就是教导孩子养成疏忽和不诚信的习惯。上帝将责任交给每一个孩子。儿女应当顺从父母，帮助分担家中的担子与职责。他们若忽略了分派给他们的工作，就要提醒他们，要求他们去做。（十六）{CG 248.2}[21]
§44
Dealing With a Negligent Child.--When you ask your child to do a certain thing, and he answers, Yes, I will do it, and then neglects to fulfill his word, you must not leave the matter thus. You must call your child to account for this neglect. If you pass it by without notice, you educate your child to habits of neglect and unfaithfulness. God has given to every child a stewardship. Children are to obey their parents. They are to help bear the burdens and responsibilities of the home; and when they neglect to do their appointed work, they should be called to account and required to perform it. {CG 248.2}[21]
§45
急躁和间歇性管教的后果－－孩子犯错误时，自己会有认识，并感到羞耻和难过。若责怪他们的错误，往往会使他们倔强而守口如瓶。他们象不羁的小马，似乎故意要惹麻烦。责怪他们是没有用的。父母要设法把他们的思想转移到别的地方。{CG 248.3}[22]
§46
Results of Hasty, Spasmodic Discipline.--When children have done wrong, they themselves are convicted of their sin and feel humiliated and distressed. To scold them for their faults will often result in making them stubborn and secretive. Like unruly colts, they seem determined to make trouble, and scolding will do them no good. Parents should seek to divert their minds into some other channel. {CG 248.3}[22]
§47
但问题在于父母的管教没有始终如一，做事只凭心血来潮而不依遵照原则。他们轻易发怒，没有给儿女树立基督徒父母应有的榜样。他们一会儿对儿女的错误熟视无睹，一会儿却表显出毫无忍耐和自制之力。他们不遵守主的道，秉公行义。他们的罪常常比儿女更重。{CG 248.4}[23]
§48
But the trouble is, parents are not uniform in their management, but move more from impulse than from principle. They fly into a passion and do not set an example before their children that Christian parents should. One day they pass over the wrongdoings of their children, and the next day they manifest no patience or self-control. They do not keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment. They are often more guilty than are their children. {CG 248.4}[23]
§49
有些孩子很快就会忘记父母所给予的错误待遇，但有些性情不同的孩子，却忘不了他们所不该受的严厉无理的惩罚。他们的心灵就这样受了伤，思想也混乱了。母亲失去了把正确的原则灌输在孩子心中的机会，因为她自己没有保持自制，没有在言语行为上表现出通情达理的心态。（十七）{CG 249.1}[24]
§50
Some children will soon forget a wrong that is done to them by father and mother; but other children who are differently constituted cannot forget severe, unreasonable punishment which they did not deserve. Thus their souls are injured, and their minds bewildered. The mother loses her opportunities to instill right principles into the mind of the child, because she did not maintain self-control and manifest a well-balanced mind in her deportment and words. {CG 249.1}[24]
§51
如果你保持镇静，不发脾气，他们就会相信你是爱他们的，即便你责罚了他们。（十八）{CG 249.2}[25]
§52
Be so calm, so free from anger, that they will be convinced that you love them, even though you punish them. {CG 249.2}[25]
§53
有时鼓励比惩罚更有效果－－对于这项工作我很感兴趣，所以收养了一些儿童，正确地训练他们。他们犯错误时，我没有惩罚他们，而是鼓励他们行善。有一个女孩若不随她的意，就在地上打滚。我对她说:“你今天若一次脾气也不发，我和怀叔叔就带你乘马车，到乡间过一天快乐的日子。但你若在地板上滚一次，这个快乐的权利就会取消。”我对这些孩子如此行。我很感激有权利从事这样的工作。（十九）{CG 249.3}[26]
§54
Inducements Are Sometimes Better Than Punishment.-- I have felt such a deep interest in this line of work that I have adopted children in order that they might be trained in right lines. Instead of punishing them when they did wrong, I would hold out inducements to them to do right. One was in the habit of throwing herself on the floor if she could not have her own way. I said to her, If you will not lose your temper once today, your uncle White and I will take you in the carriage, and we will have a happy day in the country. But if you throw yourself on the floor once, you will forfeit your right to the pleasure. I worked in this way for these children, and now I feel thankful that I had the privilege of doing this work. {CG 249.3}[26]
§55
处理错误要迅速、智慧和坚决－－悖逆必须惩罚。错误必须纠正。父母和教师必须对付和克服孩子心中的罪。要迅速、智慧、坚决地处理错误。要慎重对待那种厌恶约束，喜爱自我放纵，不关怀永恒事物的精神。若不根除罪恶，灵魂势必沦丧。况且甘心随从撒但指使的人，会不断地引诱他人。从孩子最小的时候起，我们就当竭力抑制他们心中属世的精神。（二十）{CG 249.4}[27]
§56
Deal With Wrong Promptly, Wisely, Firmly.-- Disobedience must be punished. Wrongdoing must be corrected. The iniquity that is bound up in the heart of a child must be met and overcome by parents and teachers. Wrong must be dealt with promptly and wisely, with firmness and decision. Hatred of restraint, love of self-indulgence, indifference to things of eternity, must be carefully dealt with. Unless evil is eradicated, the soul will be lost. And more than this: he who gives himself up to follow in Satans lead seeks constantly to entice others. From our childrens earliest years we should seek to subdue in them the spirit of the world. {CG 249.4}[27]
§57
有时需要责打的杖－－母亲可能要问：“我永不可处罚孩子吗？”{CG 250.1}[28]
§58
The Rod Is Sometimes Necessary.--The mother may ask, Shall I never punish my child? {CG 250.1}[28]
§59
当其他方法都失效时，可能需要责打。但只要是可以避免的，就不宜使用杖。如果比较温和的方法无济于事，就当凭爱心予以惩罚，为使孩子觉悟。在孩子的一生中，这种纠正的方法往往一次就够了。这要使孩子明白他并不掌握控制权。{CG 250.2}[29]
§60
Whipping may be necessary when other resorts fail, yet she should not use the rod if it is possible to avoid doing so. But if milder measures prove insufficient, punishment that will bring the child to its senses should in love be administered. Frequently one such correction will be enough for a lifetime, to show the child that he does not hold the lines of control. {CG 250.2}[29]
§61
在非采取这种措施不可的时候，要让孩子深刻认识到，这样做不是为了满足父母的心意，或者放任专横的权威，而是为了孩子的益处。要教育他明白，每一个未加纠正的错误，都会令他自己不愉快，并使上帝不喜悦。在这样的管教下，孩子必发现他们最大的幸福在于使自己的意志降服于天父的旨意。（二一）{CG 250.3}[30]
§62
And when this step becomes necessary, the child should be seriously impressed with the thought that this is not done for the gratification of the parent, or to indulge arbitrary authority, but for the childs own good. He should be taught that every fault uncorrected will bring unhappiness to himself and will displease God. Under such discipline children will find their greatest happiness in submitting their wills to the will of the heavenly Father. {CG 250.3}[30]
§63
最后的手段－－你往往会发现，若以仁慈的态度与孩子说理，就没有必要责打他们了。采用这样的方法会使他们信任你。他们会视你为知心朋友，会来到你面前说，我今天某时犯了错误，求你饶恕我，并请你求告上帝饶恕我。我有过这样的经历，所以知道实情。……我很感激，因为当孩子们犯错误时我有勇气以坚决的态度对待他们，与他们一起祷告，将圣经的标准摆在他们面前。我很高兴，因为我将赐给得胜者的应许和忠心之人的奖赏告诉了他们。（二二） {CG 250.4}[31]
§64
As the Last Resort.--Many times you will find that if you will reason with them kindly, they will not need to be whipped. And such method of dealing will lead them to have confidence in you. They will make you their confidant. They will come to you and say, I did wrong today at such a time, and I want you to forgive me and to ask God to forgive me. I have gone through scenes like this, and therefore I know. . . . I am thankful that I had courage, when they did wrong, to deal with them firmly, to pray with them, and to keep the standards of Gods Word before them. I am glad that I presented to them the promises made to the overcomer, and the rewards offered to those who are faithful. {CG 250.4}[31]
§65
决不要在盛怒之下责打－－决不要在盛怒之下责打儿女，除非你要他们学会怎样争吵和打架。你们作父母的人在儿女面前是代表上帝的，所以应当警惕。（二三）{CG 251.1}[32]
§66
Never Strike a Passionate Blow.--Never give your child a passionate blow, unless you want him to learn to fight and quarrel. As parents you stand in the place of God to your children, and you are to be on guard. {CG 251.1}[32]
§67
或许你出于无奈而必须责打儿女，但你自己必须先平静下来，再着手处理难题。要扪心自问，我的作为和意愿是否都顺服上帝呢？我有没有让上帝支配我，使我能以智慧、忍耐、亲切与仁爱的态度处理家中倔强的孩子呢？（二四）{CG 251.2}[33]
§68
You may have to punish with the rod; this is sometimes essential, but defer any settlement of the difficulty until you have settled the case with yourselves. Ask yourself, Have I submitted my way and will to God? Have I placed myself where God can manage me, so that I may have wisdom, patience, kindness, and love in dealing with the refractory elements in the home? {CG 251.2}[33]
§69
对一位易怒父亲的警告－－L弟兄，你是否考虑过孩子是什么，要去哪里呢？你的孩子是主家中的年幼成员，是你天父托付你照顾，为天国训练并培养的弟兄姐妹。当你经常如此粗暴地对待他们时，你有没有考虑过上帝将要让你为此交账呢？你不应如此粗暴地使唤你的孩子。孩子并非犬马，照你专横的意志呼来喝去，或在任何环境下都用棍棒、鞭子或巴掌予以控制。有些孩子在脾气发作时过于嚣张邪恶，施以责打是必须的，但在许多情况下，这种管教方式只能使情况变得更糟。……{CG 251.3}[34]
§70
Caution to a Quick-tempered Father.--Bro. L., have you considered what a child is, and whither it is going? Your children are the younger members of the Lords family--brothers and sisters entrusted to your care by your heavenly Father for you to train and educate for heaven. When you are handling them so roughly as you have frequently done, do you consider that God will call you to account for this dealing? You should not use your children thus roughly. A child is not a horse or a dog to be ordered about according to your imperious will, or to be controlled under all circumstances by a stick or whip, or by blows with the hand. Some children are so vicious in their tempers that the infliction of pain is necessary, but very many cases are made much worse by this manner of discipline. . . . {CG 251.3}[34]
§71
决不要扬手打你的孩子，除非你能以无亏的良心俯伏在上帝面前，并求祂赐福你将要给予的处罚。要鼓励你儿女心中的爱。将自制的高尚正确动机摆在他们面前。不要给他们印象觉得他们必须服从控制是因为你专横武断的意志；因为他们软弱，你强大；因为你是父亲，他们是孩子。如果你想毁灭你的家庭，那就继续用强力统治吧，你必定能成功。（二五）{CG 252.1}[35]
§72
Never raise your hand to give them a blow unless you can with a clear conscience bow before God and ask His blessing upon the correction you are about to give. Encourage love in the hearts of your children. Present before them high and correct motives for self-restraint. Do not give them the impression that they must submit to control because it is your arbitrary will, because they are weak, and you are strong, because you are the father, they the children. If you wish to ruin your family, continue to govern by brute force, and you will surely succeed. {CG 252.1}[35]
§73
决不要摇晃犯错的孩子－－父母们没有给儿女正确的教育。他们身上经常表现出和儿女相同的缺点和瑕疵。他们饮食不当，这使神经系统的精力被调用到胃，于是就没有活力用到其它方面了。他们无法适当地约束自己的儿女，因为他们自己很不耐烦，他们也无法教导儿女走正路。他们或许能粗暴地抓住儿女暴打一顿。我曾经说过，摇晃儿童，想将一个邪灵摇掉，结果反摇来了两个邪灵。儿童若犯了错，摇晃他只能使他更坏，不会使他顺服。（二六）{CG 252.2}[36]
§74
Never Shake an Offending Child.--Parents have not given their children the right education. Frequently they manifest the same imperfections which are seen in the children. They eat improperly, and this calls their nervous energies to the stomach, and they have no vitality to expand in other directions. They cannot properly control their children because of their own impatience; neither can they teach them the right way. Perhaps they take hold of them roughly and give them an impatient blow. I have said that to shake a child would shake two evil spirits in, while it would shake one out. If a child is wrong, to shake it only makes it worse. It will not subdue it. {CG 252.2}[36]
§75
先说理和祈祷－－先要与儿女说理，指明他们的错，使他们认识到自己不但得罪了你，也得罪了上帝。要对犯错的儿女满怀怜悯与忧伤，和他们一起祷告，再去纠正他们。这样，他们就会明白你惩罚他们，不是因他们搅扰了你，或因你要在他们身上发泄忿怒，而是由于责任感，为了他们的益处。这样，他们就会敬爱你。（二七）{CG 252.3}[37]
§76
First Use Reason and Prayer.--First reason with your children, clearly point out their wrongs, and impress upon them that they have not only sinned against you, but against God. With your heart full of pity and sorrow for your erring children, pray with them before correcting them. Then they will see that you do not punish them because they have put you to inconvenience, or because you wish to vent your displeasure upon them, but from a sense of duty, for their good; and they will love and respect you. {CG 252.3}[37]
§77
所献上的祈祷要使他们意识到你并非不讲道理。你如果让孩子看到你是通情达理的，你就获得了一场大胜利。在末后的日子里，这正是我们家庭范围里所应该进行的工作。（二八）{CG 253.1}[38]
§78
That prayer may make such an impression on their minds that they will see that you are not unreasonable. And if the children see that you are not unreasonable, you have gained a great victory. This is the work that is to be carried on in our family circles in these last days. {CG 253.1}[38]
§79
在管教时祷告的效果－－如果他们做错了，不要用上帝的忿怒恐吓他们，而要在你们的祷告中把他们带到基督面前。（二九）{CG 253.2}[39]
§80
The Effectiveness of Prayer in a Disciplinary Crisis.--Do not threaten them with the wrath of God if they do wrong, but bring them in your prayers to Christ. {CG 253.2}[39]
§81
在你使孩子肉体受苦之前，你若是基督徒，就必须先显示出你对犯错之孩子的爱心。当你与孩子跪在上帝面前时，你就能向慈怜的救赎主提出他的话：“让小孩子到我这里来，不要禁止他们，因为在上帝国的，正是这样的人”（可10:14）。这种祷告会使天使来到你旁边。孩子必不忘记这种经验，上帝的赐福，也会随着这些教训，引导孩子归向基督。当孩子认识到父母是在设法帮助他们时，他们就会自觉地向正确的方向努力。（三十）{CG 253.3}[40]
§82
Before you cause your child physical pain, you will, if you are a Christian father or mother, reveal the love you have for your erring one. As you bow before God with your child, you will present before the sympathizing Redeemer His own words, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not; for of such is the kingdom of God. Mark 10:14. That prayer will bring angels to your side. Your child will not forget these experiences, and the blessing of God will rest upon such instruction, leading him to Christ. When children realize that their parents are trying to help them, they will bend their energies in the right direction. {CG 253.3}[40]
§83
个人管教的经验－－我孩子小的时候，我从来不让他们觉得可以烦我。我也曾把别人家的孩子接到家里抚养，但我也从来不让他们以为可以烦他们的母亲。我从来不让自己说一句苛刻的话，或对孩子不耐烦或暴躁。他们从来没有占我的上风，致使我生气，连一次也没有。我在烦恼或想生气的时候就说：“孩子们，算了吧；我们不要再提这事，到就寝前我们再讨论这个问题。”既然有那么长时间来反省，到了晚上他们就冷静下来，我也就能好好处理了。……{CG 253.4}[41]
§84
Personal Experiences in Discipline.--I never allowed my children to think that they could plague me in their childhood. I also brought up in my family others from other families, but I never allowed those children to think that they could plague their mother. Never did I allow myself to say a harsh word or to become impatient or fretful over the children. They never got the better of me once--not once, to provoke me to anger. When my spirit was stirred, or when I felt anything like being provoked, I would say, Children, we shall let this rest now; we shall not say anything more about it now. Before we retire, we shall talk it over. Having all this time to reflect, by evening they had cooled off, and I could handle them very nicely. . . . {CG 253.4}[41]
§85
既有正确的方法，也有错误的方法。我在与孩子们讲理之前，决不动手。如果他们软了下来，认识到自己的错误，（每次我指出他们的错误，与他们一起祷告，他们总会这样，）如果他们顺服了，（我每次这样做，他们都会顺服，）就接受了我的管束。我从没有发现他们采取别的什么态度。当我和他们一起祷告时，他们都会十分伤心，伸手抱住我的颈项痛哭。……{CG 254.1}[42]
§86
There is a right way, and there is a wrong way. I never lifted a hand to my children, before I talked with them; and if they broke down, and if they saw their mistake (and they always did when I brought it before them and prayed with them), and if they were subdued (and they always were when I did this), then I had them under my control. I never found them otherwise. When I prayed with them, they would break all to pieces, and they would throw their arms around my neck and cry. . . . {CG 254.1}[42]
§87
我纠正儿女的时候，决不让自己的声调有任何改变。我若发现情形不对，就先等到怒气消退，他们有机会反省而羞愧后，再着手处理。我若让他们有一两个小时思考这些事，他们总会感到羞愧。我总是先到一边去祷告，暂时不与他们说话。 {CG 254.2}[43]
§88
I never allowed, in correcting my children, even my voice to be changed in any way. When I saw something wrong, I waited until the heat was over, and then I would take them after they had had a chance for reflection and were ashamed. They would get ashamed, if I gave them an hour or two to think of these things. I always went away and prayed. I would not speak to them then. {CG 254.2}[43]
§89
将他们撇开一会儿以后，他们就来询问我。我就回答他们说：“等到晚上再说吧。”到了晚上，我们就一起祷告。然后我对他们说，他们错误的行为危害了他们自己的心灵，并使上帝的圣灵担忧。（三一）{CG 254.3}[44]
§90
After they had been left to themselves for a while, they would come to me about it. Well, I would say, we will wait until evening. At that time we would have a season of prayer, and then I would tell them that they hurt their own souls and grieved the Spirit of God by their wrong course of action. {CG 254.3}[44]
§91
要花时间祈祷－－我在感到烦恼，受到试探要说出羞愧的话时，就保持沉默，离开房间，求上帝赐我忍耐来教导这些儿女。随后我就回去与他们交谈，告诉他们不要再犯这样的错误。在这件事上，我们可以采取不激怒儿女的立场。我们说话时要亲切耐心，始终记住我们自己是多么任性，以及需要天父怎样对待我们。{CG 254.4}[45]
§92
Take Time for Prayer.--When I have felt roiled and was tempted to speak words that I would be ashamed of, I would keep silent and pass right out of the room and ask God to give me patience to teach these children. Then I could go back and talk with them, and tell them they must not do this wrong again. We can take such a position in this matter that we shall not provoke the children to wrath. We should speak kindly and patiently, remembering all the time how wayward we are and how we want to be treated by our heavenly Father. {CG 254.4}[45]
§93
这些是父母必须学习的教训。当你们学到了这些教训时，你们就成为基督学校最好的学生，你们的儿女也就成为最好的孩子了。这样，你们就能教导他们敬畏上帝，遵守祂的律法，因为你们将对他们进行最好的管理。如此为社会培养的儿女，必成为周围人的福气。你们也就是在造就他们与上帝同工的资格。（三二）{CG 255.1}[46]
§94
Now these are the lessons that parents must learn, and when you have learned these, you will be the very best students in the school of Christ, and your children will be the very best children. In this way you can teach them to have respect for God and to keep His law, because you will have excellent government over them, and in doing this you are bringing up into society children who will be a blessing to all around them. You are fitting them to be laborers together with God. {CG 255.1}[46]
§95
训练的痛苦之后可能有快乐－－对待考验的正确方法，不是设法躲避，而是将它改变。这种做法适应于早期和后期的一切训练。疏忽儿童的早期训练，加强了他们的不良倾向，使他们以后更难教育，并使训练成了痛苦的过程。训练对于低劣的本性一定是痛苦的，因它与本性的愿望和倾向相抵触。但在更高的喜乐中，这种痛苦就不足介意了。{CG 255.2}[47]
§96
Joy May Follow the Pain of Discipline.--The true way of dealing with trial is not by seeking to escape it, but by transforming it. This applies to all discipline, the earlier as well as the later. The neglect of the childs earliest training, and the consequent strengthening of wrong tendencies, makes his after education more difficult and causes discipline to be too often a painful process. Painful it must be to the lower nature, crossing, as it does, the natural desires and inclinations; but the pain may be lost sight of in a higher joy. {CG 255.2}[47]
§97
要教导青少年明白，每一个错误，每一次过失，每一件困难，一经克服，就成了达到更高尚更美好境地的踏脚石。凡不枉此生的人，都是藉着这种经验成功的。（三三） {CG 255.3}[48]
§98
Let the child and the youth be taught that every mistake, every fault, every difficulty, conquered, becomes a steppingstone to better and higher things. It is through such experiences that all who have ever made life worth the living have achieved success. {CG 255.3}[48]
§99
顺从上帝的指南－－父母若希望正确地教养儿女，就需要天上来的智慧，在家庭管教的问题采取聪明的行动。（三四）{CG 256.1}[49]
§100
Follow the Divine Guidebook.--Parents who would properly rear their children need wisdom from heaven in order to act judiciously in all matters pertaining to home discipline. {CG 256.1}[49]
§101
圣经是管理儿童的指南。在这个问题上，父母若是愿意，就可找到教育训练儿女的方法，自己也不会犯错误。……父母若顺从这个指南，不容许孩子作无度的放纵，就会多用责打的杖，不忽略他们的缺点和刚愎的性情，只注意到他们的优点，他们就会有清晰的辨别力，在圣经的亮光下看清这些事物。他们必明白自己必须命令儿女行走正路。（三五）{CG 256.2}[50]
§102
The Bible is a guide in the management of children. Here, if parents desire, they may find a course marked out for the education and training of their children, that they may make no blunders. . . . When this Guidebook is followed, parents, instead of giving unlimited indulgence to their children, will use more often the chastening rod; instead of being blind to their faults, their perverse tempers, and alive only to their virtues, they will have clear discernment and will look upon these things in the light of the Bible. They will know that they must command their children in the right way. {CG 256.2}[50]
§103
上帝不能接纳悖逆的人进入祂的国度。所以祂以服从祂的命令作为特别的条件。父母应当将主的话殷勤地教导儿女。这样，上帝就必向天使和世人显明，祂要在祂子民的周围修筑防御工事。（三六）{CG 256.3}[51]
§104
God cannot take rebels into His kingdom; therefore He makes obedience to His commands a special requirement. Parents should diligently teach their children what saith the Lord. Then God will show to angels and to men that He will build a safeguard round about His people. {CG 256.3}[51]
§105
你们的工作和上帝的工作－－父母们：当你们尽己所能，忠于职责之时，你们就可以凭着信心求主为你们的儿女做你们所做不到的事。（三七）{CG 256.4}[52]
§106
Your Part and Gods Part.--Parents, when you have faithfully done your duty, to the extent of your ability, you may then in faith ask the Lord to do that for your children which you cannot do. {CG 256.4}[52]
§107
你们对儿女忠心尽责之后，就当将他们呈献在上帝面前，求祂帮助你们。要向祂说明你们已经尽了本分，然后凭着信心求上帝开展祂的工作，做你们所无力成就的。要求祂调整你们儿女的性情，藉着祂的圣灵使儿女变为柔和驯良的人。祂必垂听你们的祷告，并喜欢应允你们的祷告。祂藉着祂的圣言命令你们纠正自己的儿女，“不顾惜他们的哭泣”。在这些事情上要听从祂的圣言。（三八）{CG 256.5}[53]
§108
After you have done your duty faithfully to your children, then carry them to God and ask Him to help you. Tell Him that you have done your part, and then in faith ask God to do His part, that which you cannot do. Ask Him to temper their dispositions, to make them mild and gentle by His Holy Spirit. He will hear you pray. He will love to answer your prayers. Through His Word He has enjoined it upon you to correct your children, to spare not for their crying, and His Word is to be heeded in these things. {CG 256.5}[53]