第13章 自制
§1
第13章 自制
§2
chap. 13 - Self-Control
§3
预备孩子应付人生及其职责－－母亲在面对交托她照顾的孩子时，应当怀着深切的关怀询问道：他们受教育的伟大目标和宗旨是什么？难道不是预备他们应付人生及其职责，使他们胜任世上崇高的地位，行善和造福同胞，最后获得义人的报赏吗？既是这样，就当首先教导他们自制；因为目无法纪、刚愎自用的人没有希望获得今生的成功和来生的报赏。（一）{CG 91.1}[1]
§4
Prepare Children for Life and Its Duties.--Well may the mother inquire with deep anxiety, as she looks upon the children given to her care, What is the great aim and object of their education? Is it to fit them for life and its duties, to qualify them to take an honorable position in the world, to do good, to benefit their fellow-beings, to gain eventually the reward of the righteous? If so, then the first lesson to be taught them is self-control; for no undisciplined, headstrong person can hope for success in this world or reward in the next. {CG 91.1}[1]
§5
训练儿童顺从－－不满一周岁的婴孩，能够听懂别人所讲与他们有关的话，知道自己能被容让到什么程度。母亲们：要训练孩子顺从你们的意愿。你们如果想保持对孩子的控制，维护自己作母亲的尊严，就必须达到这个目的。你们的孩子很快就会明白你们对他们的要求，知道什么时候他们能够占你们的上风，并利用这种优势。（二）{CG 91.2}[2]
§6
Train the Child to Yield.--The little ones, before they are a year old, hear and understand what is spoken in reference to themselves, and know to what extent they are to be indulged. Mothers, you should train your children to yield to your wishes. This point must be gained if you would hold the control over your children, and preserve your dignity as a mother. Your children quickly learn just what you expect of them, they know when their will conquers yours, and will make the most of their victory. {CG 91.2}[2]
§7
听任错误的习惯滋长，将律法交在孩子手中，让他作主，这是最残忍的行为。（三）{CG 91.3}[3]
§8
It is the veriest cruelty to allow wrong habits to be developed, to give the law into the hands of the child and let him rule. {CG 91.3}[3]
§9
不要满足自私的意愿－－父母们在对待儿女时若不谨慎，就可能引导孩子们过分要求关注和特权，以致父母亏待自己来纵容孩子。儿女们会要求父母为他们做某些事情，以满足他们意愿，父母也依从他们的要求，全然不顾这会助长孩子们的自私。父母这样做会危害自己的儿女，日后会发现很难消除孩子最初几年教育的影响。要尽早让孩子们知道，自私的愿望是不能满足的。（四）{CG 91.4}[4]
§10
Do Not Gratify Selfish Wishes.--If parents are not careful, they will treat their children in such a way as will lead the children to demand attention and privileges that will call for the parents to deprive themselves in order to indulge their little ones. The children will call upon the parents to do things for them, to gratify their wishes, and the parents will concede to their wishes, regardless of the fact that it is inculcating selfishness in their children. But in doing this work parents are wronging their children, and will find out afterwards how difficult a thing it is to counteract the influence of the education of the first few years in a childs life. Children need to learn early that they cannot be gratified when selfishness prompts their wishes. {CG 91.4}[4]
§11
不要给予孩子所哭求的东西－－母亲需要一再学习的宝贵教训之一，就是不要让孩子作主。孩子不是主人；母亲的意志和心愿才是至上的。她就是这样教导他们自制的教训。不要给予孩子所哭求的东西，即使你的慈心极愿如此行；因为他们一旦哭求成功，就会指望第二次；而且第二次的冲突会更加剧烈。（五）{CG 92.1}[5]
§12
Give Nothing for Which Children Cry.--One precious lesson which the mother will need to repeat again and again is that the child is not to rule; he is not the master, but her will and her wishes are to be supreme. Thus she is teaching them self-control. Give them nothing for which they cry, even if your tender heart desires ever so much to do this; for if they gain the victory once by crying they will expect to do it again. The second time the battle will be more vehement. {CG 92.1}[5]
§13
决不可让怒火爆发－－母亲最初的任务之一，就是抑制孩子们的脾气，不让他们怒火爆发，不让他们因得不到对他们没有好处的东西，就倒地撒野、哭叫不停。我见到许多父母纵容孩子脾气发作，心里很难过。母亲们似乎视这种发怒为必须容忍的，不大在意孩子的表现。容许一次恶行，就不免有再一次，最后就变成了习惯。孩子的品格就这样遭到罪恶的熏陶。（六）{CG 92.2}[6]
§14
Never Permit Display of Angry Passions.--Among the first tasks of the mother is the restraining of passion in her little ones. Children should not be allowed to manifest anger; they should not be permitted to throw themselves upon the floor, striking and crying because something has been denied them which was not for their best good. I have been distressed as I have seen how many parents indulge their children in the display of angry passions. Mothers seem to look upon these outbursts of anger as something that must be endured, and appear indifferent to the childs behavior. But if an evil is permitted once, it will be repeated, and its repetition will result in habit, and so the childs character will receive an evil mold. {CG 92.2}[6]
§15
斥责邪灵的之时－－我常见到小孩子一遭反对便滚在地上尖叫。这正是斥责那邪灵的时候。仇敌会设法控制我们儿女的意念，但我们岂可让他按照他的意愿塑造他们呢？这些小孩子无法看出是什么灵在影响着他们，而父母的责任就是运用判断力，为他们作判断。必须仔细注意他们的习惯。邪恶的倾向要受到抑制，要激励他们的心智支持正义。应当鼓励孩子想要自制的每一努力。（七）{CG 93.1}[7]
§16
When to Rebuke the Evil Spirit.--I have often seen the little one throw itself and scream if its will was crossed in any way. This is the time to rebuke the evil spirit. The enemy will try to control the minds of our children, but shall we allow him to mold them according to his will? These little ones cannot discern what spirit is influencing them, and it is the duty of parents to exercise judgment and discretion for them. Their habits must be carefully watched. Evil tendencies are to be restrained, and the mind stimulated in favor of the right. The child should be encouraged in every effort to govern itself. {CG 93.1}[7]
§17
从伯利恒的诗歌开始－－母亲们应当按照正确的原则和习惯教养自己怀里的婴儿。她们不该容许孩子以头撞地。……母亲们应当从婴儿期起教育孩子。她们可以从伯利恒的诗歌开始。这些柔和的曲调具有安抚的作用。要把有关基督和祂慈爱的柔和歌曲唱给孩子们听。（八）{CG 93.2}[8]
§18
Begin With the Songs of Bethlehem.--Mothers should educate their babies in their arms after correct principles and habits. They should not allow them to pound their heads on the floor. . . . Let the mothers educate them in their infancy. Commence with the songs of Bethlehem. These soft tunes will have a quieting influence. Sing them these subdued tunes in regard to Christ and His love. {CG 93.2}[8]
§19
不要犹豫不决－－要尽早抑制孩子的坏脾气，因为这项工作越耽搁就越难成功。急躁易怒的孩子需要父母的特别关照。要非常仁慈而坚决地照管他们。父母对待他们不可犹豫不决。凡足以抑制他们各自的缺点滋长的品质，要留意培养和加强。纵容孩子任性易怒，会毁了他。他的缺点必与日俱长，妨碍他智育的发展，抵消他高贵善良的品质。（九）{CG 93.3}[9]
§20
No Wavering or Indecision.--Perverse temper should be checked in the child as soon as possible; for the longer this duty is delayed, the more difficult it is to accomplish. Children of quick, passionate disposition need the special care of their parents. They should be dealt with in a particularly kind but firm manner; there should be no wavering or indecision on the part of the parents in their case. The traits of character which would naturally check the growth of their peculiar faults should be carefully nourished and strengthened. Indulgence of the child of passionate and perverse disposition will result in his ruin. His faults will strengthen with his years, retard the development of his mind, and overbalance all the good and noble traits of his character. {CG 93.3}[9]
§21
父母以身作则自制的重要性－－一些父母不会自制，不会控制自己病态的食欲和易怒的性情；因此不能教导儿女克制食欲和自制之道。（十）{CG 94.1}[10]
§22
An Example of Parental Self-control Is Vital.-- Some parents have not control over themselves. They do not control their own morbid appetites or their passionate temper; therefore they cannot educate their children in regard to the denial of their appetite, and teach them self-control. {CG 94.1}[10]
§23
父母如果希望教导儿女自制，自己必须先养成自制的习惯。父母们的责骂与吹毛求疵只能助长儿女急躁易怒的脾气。（十一）{CG 94.2}[11]
§24
If parents desire to teach their children self-control, they must first form the habit themselves. The scolding and faultfinding of parents encourages a hasty, passionate temper in their children. {CG 94.2}[11]
§25
行善不可丧志－－一些父母贪图安逸娱乐，没有从事上帝在他们的家庭生活中所托付的工作。如果青年人在家里曾受过正确的教育，我们今日就不会看到他们中间可怕的犯罪现象了。父母如果愿意担负起上帝所指定的工作，用教训和榜样教导儿女自制、克己和自律，就会发现自己在努力履行职责，求得上帝悦纳的过程中，在基督的门下学到了宝贵的教训。他们会学习忍耐、宽容、仁爱和温柔。这些正是他们必须传给儿女的教训。{CG 94.3}[12]
§26
Weary Not in Well-doing.--Parents are too fond of ease and pleasure to do the work appointed them of God in their home life. We should not see the terrible state of evil that exists among the youth of today if they had been properly trained at home. If parents would take up their God-given work and would teach self-restraint, self-denial, and self-control to their children, both by precept and example, they would find that while they were seeking to do their duty, so as to meet the approval of God, they would be learning precious lessons in the school of Christ. They would be learning patience, forbearance, love, and meekness; and these are the very lessons that they must teach to their children. {CG 94.3}[12]
§27
当父母的道德意识被唤醒，带着新的活力肩负起被忽略的义务之后，他们不可灰心，或容任何事物拦阻他们的工作。有太多的人行善会丧志。当他们发现需要努力工作，不断自制，有更多的恩典和知识来应付所发生的意外时，他们就丧志灰心，放弃奋斗，任凭人类的仇敌随心所愿。应当日复一日、月复一月、年复一年地不断工作，直至孩子的品格形成，养成正确的习惯。你们不应该放弃，让家人在松散无序的情形下随流飘去。（十二）{CG 94.4}[13]
§28
After the moral sensibilities of the parents are aroused, and they take up their neglected work with renewed energy, they should not become discouraged or allow themselves to be hindered in the work. Too many become weary in well-doing. When they find that it requires taxing effort, and constant self-control, and increased grace, as well as knowledge, to meet the unexpected emergencies that arise, they become disheartened, and give up the struggle, and let the enemy of souls have his own way. Day after day, month after month, year after year, the work is to go on, till the character of your child is formed, and the habits established in the right way. You should not give up and leave your families to drift along in a loose, ungoverned manner. {CG 94.4}[13]
§29
决不可失去自制－－我们决不要失去自制。要时刻将那完全的榜样摆在自己眼前。说急躁不耐心的话，或心中含怒－－虽然没有说出来－－都是犯罪。我们当行事审慎，正确地表现基督。说一句生气的话，就象用火石敲打火石，立刻会点起愤怒的火花。{CG 95.1}[14]
§30
Never Lose Control of Yourselves.--Never should we lose control of ourselves. Let us ever keep before us the perfect Pattern. It is a sin to speak impatiently and fretfully or to feel angry--even though we do not speak. We are to walk worthy, giving a right representation of Christ. The speaking of an angry word is like flint striking flint: it at once kindles wrathful feelings. {CG 95.1}[14]
§31
决不要象栗子带刺的外壳。在家里不要说苛刻刺耳的话。要邀请天庭的贵宾来到你家，同时设法让祂和天使与你同居。你要接受基督的公义，圣灵所赐的成圣和圣洁之美，使你能向周围的人显示那“生命的光”。（十三）{CG 95.2}[15]
§32
Never be like a chestnut bur. In the home do not allow yourself to use harsh, rasping words. You should invite the heavenly Guest to come into your home, at the same time making it possible for Him and the heavenly angels to abide with you. You should receive the righteousness of Christ, the sanctification of the Spirit of God, the beauty of holiness, that you may reveal to those around you the Light of life. {CG 95.2}[15]
§33
智者说:“不轻易发怒的，胜过勇士；治服己心的，强如取城”（箴16:32）。无论男女，在受到引发怒火的试探时仍能保持平和的心态，在上帝和天使看来，要比统帅大军获得胜利的名将更加高贵。一位著名的皇帝在临终时说：“我所获得的一切胜利中，现在只有一个能给我安慰，那就是我克服了自己狂暴的性情。”亚力山大与凯撒都发现征服世界要比征服自己容易。他们在征服一个又一个国家之后都倒下了－－一个是不节制的牺牲品，另一个是疯狂野心的牺牲品。（十四）{CG 95.3}[16]
§34
He that is slow to anger, says the wise man, is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit, than he that taketh a city. The man or woman who preserves the balance of the mind when tempted to indulge passion stands higher in the sight of God and heavenly angels than the most renowned general that ever led an army to battle and to victory. Said a celebrated emperor when on his dying bed, Among all my conquests there is but one which affords me any consolation now, and that is the conquest I have gained over my own turbulent temper. Alexander and Caesar found it easier to subdue a world than to subdue themselves. After conquering nation after nation, they fell--one of them the victim of intemperance, the other of mad ambition. {CG 95.3}[16]