第75章 父母在社交方面的指导
§1
第75章 父母在社交方面的指导
§2
Chap. 75 - Parental Guidance In Social Affairs
§3
罪恶的影响力几乎压倒一切——那包围我们儿女之罪恶的影响力几乎压倒一切；而且正在败坏他们的思想，引诱他们堕落灭亡。青年人的思想本来就是倾向愚昧之事的；他们在品格尚未形成，判断力尚未成熟的幼年时期，往往显出喜爱与对他们有损的友伴相交的情形。[1]
§4
Evil Influences Almost Overpowering.--The evil influence around our children is almost overpowering; it is corrupting their minds and leading them down to perdition. The minds of youth are naturally given to folly; and at an early age, before their characters are formed and their judgment matured, they frequently manifest a preference for associates who will have an injurious influence over them. {AH 466.1}[1]
§5
假若我的声音能达及全地的父母，我就要警告他们不要任凭儿女们随意拣选朋友或伴侣。一般作父母的很少考虑到：青年人接受有害的印象比接受神圣的印象容易得多；因此他们的社交活动应有利于他们在恩典中长进，并使上帝圣言所启示的真理能在他们的心中扎根。[2]
§6
Could my voice reach the parents all through the land, I would warn them not to yield to the desires of their children in choosing their companions or associates. Little do parents consider that injurious impressions are far more readily received by the young than are divine impressions; therefore their associations should be the most favorable for the growth of grace and for the truth revealed in the word of God to be established in the heart. {AH 466.2}[2]
§7
要使青年们处于最有利的情形之下；因为他们所结交的友伴，所采取的原则，以及所养成的习惯，无疑必断然地决定有关他们本身在此世的贡献，以及来世永存的真实福惠的问题。[3]
§8
Let the youth be placed in the most favorable circumstances possible; for the company they keep, the principles they adopt, the habits they form, will settle the question of their usefulness here and of their future, eternal interests with a certainty that is infallible. {AH 466.3}[3]
§9
漫无止境之自由的危险——作父母的啊，你们的儿女并未受到适当的保护。不该准许他们随意出入，而你们一点也不知情，也不加过问。儿童在这个时期所享受之漫无止境的自由，已经促使千万儿童趋于沉沦。许多的儿童和青年夜间任意在街头流连，而父母却毫不顾及自己儿女所交往的对象。所拣选的友伴之影响力往往只足以使人堕落而已。[4]
§10
The Peril of Unlimited Freedom.--Parents, your sons and daughters are not properly guarded. They should never be permitted to go and come when they please, without your knowledge and consent. The unbounded freedom granted to children at this age has proved the ruin of thousands. How many are allowed to be in the streets at night, and parents are content to be ignorant of the associates of their children. Too often companions are chosen whose influence tends only to demoralize. {AH 466.4}[4]
§11
在黑暗的遮掩之下，男孩子们围聚在一起，开始学习打牌、赌博、抽烟、饮酒或狂喝啤酒。虔信宗教之父母的儿子们冒险踏进酒楼去大嚼海鲜或作其他类似的放纵行为，因而自行置身于试探之中。这些场所的气氛中充满了亵渎和污秽的成分。无人能经常驻足其间而不致沾染污秽。由于这一类的社交。许多有前途的青年就变成了酒徒和罪犯。应该慎防犯罪作恶的开端。作父母的啊，除非你们清楚他们所处的环境并无任何问题，切不可容许你们的孩子晚上在街头作户外运动，或与别的男孩子一同寻找娱乐。假若能严格地实行这项规律，则顺从就必成为习惯，而犯规的企图不久也必消灭了。[5]
§12
Under the cover of darkness boys collect in groups to learn their first lessons in card playing, gambling, smoking, and wine or beer sipping. The sons of religious parents venture into the saloons for an oyster supper or some similar indulgence, and thus place themselves in the way of temptation. The very atmosphere of these resorts is redolent with blasphemy and pollution. No one can long remain in it without becoming corrupted. It is by such associations that promising youth are becoming inebriates and criminals. The very beginnings of the evil should be guarded against. Parents, unless you know that their surroundings are unexceptionable, do not permit your children to go into the streets after nightfall to engage in outdoor sports or to meet other boys for amusement. If this rule be rigidly enforced, obedience to it will become habitual, and the desire to transgress will soon cease. {AH 467.1}[5]
§13
父母须为儿女慎择友伴——作父母的当记着：与那些行为放纵，品格卑劣之辈交往，对于青年人必有损害的影响。假若他们不为儿女选择合适的友伴，假若他们容许儿女与道德欠佳的青年交往，就是将儿女置于——或说是容许他们置于一所教导并实践腐化之教训的学校里了。他们也许以为儿女足能抗拒试探，但怎能有绝对的把握呢？屈从罪恶的影响，远较抗拒它们容易得多了。在父母还没有发觉之前，他们的儿女就可能已染上了他们友伴的习气，以至堕落败坏了。[6]
§14
Parents Must Choose the Childs Associates.-- Parents should remember that association with those of lax morals and coarseness of character will have a detrimental influence upon the youth. If they fail to choose proper society for their children, if they allow them to associate with youth of questionable morals, they place them, or permit them to place themselves, in a school where lessons of depravity are taught and practiced. They may feel that their children are strong enough to withstand temptation, but how can they be sure of this? It is far easier to yield to evil influences than to resist them. Ere they are aware of it, their children may become imbued with the spirit of their associates and may be degraded or ruined. {AH 467.2}[6]
§15
当青年人与许多年龄相若，但品格和生活习惯各异的同伴接触时，他们的危险就大大地增加了。很多作父母的在这类情形之下，竟宽纵而不加倍地努力去保护并管束自己的儿女。[7]
§16
The dangers of the young are greatly increased as they are thrown into the society of a large number of their own age, of varied character and habits of life. Under these circumstances many parents are inclined to relax rather than redouble their own efforts to guard and control their children. {AH 468.1}[7]
§17
父母应该同心合意地借着祷告而负起引导儿女走上正路的严肃责任。无论他们在别的事上怎样的疏忽，也决不可任凭自己的儿女随意徘徊于罪恶之途。许多作父母的容许儿女随心所欲地出入行事，自寻消遣，并结交邪友。在审判时这等作父母的必发现自己的儿女所以丧失了天国，乃是因为自己没有使他们服从家规的约束。[8]
§18
Prayerfully, unitedly, the father and the mother should bear the grave responsibility of guiding their children aright. Whatever else they neglect, they should never leave their children free to wander in paths of sin. Many parents allow children to go and do as they please, amusing themselves and choosing evil associates. In the judgment such parents will learn that their children have lost heaven because they have not been kept under home restraint. {AH 468.2}[8]
§19
晚上在何处——任何一个儿女晚上若没有在家的话，应该唤他来要他详细说清楚。作父母的应该知道他们的儿女和谁在一起，在谁的家里度过晚上的时间。有些儿女惯以谎话来欺骗父母，免得暴露自己的错行。[9]
§20
Where Are the Evenings Spent?--Every son and daughter should be called to account if absent from home at night. Parents should know what company their children are in and at whose house they spend their evenings. Some children deceive their parents with falsehoods to avoid exposure of their wrong course. {AH 468.3}[9]
§21
在未开垦的田地中野草必占优势——作父母的往往任凭他们的儿女去拣选自己的娱乐，自己的友伴，以及自己的作业。这样所有的结果自然是在意料之中的。将一块田地弃而不耕，所长成的必定是荆棘和蒺藜。在丑恶而有毒的野草之间，你绝对不会见到有可爱的花朵或上佳的灌木出现。毫无价值的荆棘不必费时费力加以照料，自会蔓延丛生，而凡有实用价值或美观悦目的植物则须细心栽植。我们的青年也是如此。必须先作一番恳切的工作，才能使之养成正当的习惯，奠定正当的原则。若要纠正错误的习惯，必须殷勤而恒切地努力，才有达成任务的希望。[10]
§22
Weeds Predominate in an Uncultivated Field.-- Fathers and mothers too often leave their children to choose for themselves their amusements, their companions, and their occupation. The result is such as might reasonably be expected. Leave a field uncultivated, and it will grow up to thorns and briers. You will never see a lovely flower or a choice shrub peering above the unsightly, poisonous weeds. The worthless bramble will grow luxuriantly without thought or care, while plants that are valued for use or beauty require thorough culture. Thus it is with our youth. If right habits are formed and right principles established, there is earnest work to be done. If wrong habits are corrected, diligence and perseverance are required to accomplish the task. {AH 468.4}[10]
§23
使儿童习于依赖父母的判断——作父母的啊，你们务要防卫自己儿女的原则和习惯，如同保护眼中的瞳人一般。不可准许他们与你们并不完全了解其品格的人交往。不可准许他们结成任何亲密的关系，除非你们确知这样的关系于他们并无损害。要使儿女们习于依赖你们的判断与经验。当教导他们明白：你们对于品格的理解比他们缺乏经验的见识更清楚，而且你们的决定是不容忽视的。[11]
§24
Accustom Child to Trust Parents Judgment.-- Parents, guard the principles and habits of your children as the apple of the eye. Allow them to associate with no one with whose character you are not well acquainted. Permit them to form no intimacy until you are assured that it will do them no harm. Accustom your children to trust your judgment and experience. Teach them that you have clearer perception of character than they in their inexperience can have, and that your decisions must not be disregarded. {AH 469.1}[11]
§25
管束应坚定而仁慈——父母不应依从儿女的倾向，乃当遵循上帝所指示的明确方针，以仁慈的心管束儿女，坚定而确切地，却又满有爱心地拒绝他们一切不正当的欲求，并且怀着诚意，借着祷告，导引他们的脚步转离世界而向天国迈进。不可容许儿女随心所愿地向任何方向飘去，或走上那充满引离正路之危险的途径。再没有比那等不怕任何危险，而且不肯听受管束与劝告之人更为危险的了。[12]
§26
The Restraint to Be Firm, but Kind.--The parents should not concede to the inclinations of their children, but should follow the plain path of duty which God has marked out, restraining them in kindness, denying with firmness and determination, yet with love, their wrong desires, and with earnest, prayerful, persevering effort leading their steps away from the world upward to heaven. Children should not be left to drift into whatever way they are inclined, and to go into avenues which are open on every side, leading away from the right path. None are in so great danger as those who apprehend no danger and are impatient of caution and counsel. {AH 469.2}[12]
§27
要保护儿女不沾染任何可能遭受的不良影响；因为他们在儿童时期最易接受印象，或者是关于道德的珍贵、纯洁和品格的优点，或者是关于自私、不洁及悖逆的观念。一旦容许他们被埋怨、骄傲、虚浮或不洁的习气所感染，这种污点便可能终身无法消除了。[13]
§28
Guard your children from every objectionable influence possible; for in childhood they are more ready to receive impressions, either of moral dignity, purity, and loveliness of character, or of selfishness, impurity, and disobedience. Once let them become influenced by the spirit of murmuring, pride, vanity, and impurity, and the taint may be as indelible as life itself. {AH 469.3}[13]
§29
青年之所以不肯顺服正当的权威，就是因为家庭的训练有缺点。我自己也身为母亲，我确实知道：青年和儿童若受适宜的约束而不随从自己的倾向，这样不但更安全，而且也更快乐。[14]
§30
It is because the home training is defective that the youth are so unwilling to submit to proper authority. I am a mother; I know whereof I speak when I say that youth and children are not only safer but happier under wholesome restraint than when following their own inclination. {AH 470.1}[14]
§31
无长者陪同的游览是不合宜的——有些作父母的给儿女太多的自由，这是错的。他们有时过于信任自己的儿女，甚至看不见儿女的缺点。任凭儿女花钱到远处去游览，没有父母或监护人陪同他们，这是一个很大的错误。如此做会使儿女感受不良的影响。他们会觉得自己相当重要，并且应该享受某些特权，而万一得不到许可时，便自以为受了虐待。他们指出别的儿童可以自由行动，享有许多的特权，而他们所有的却如此之少。[15]
§32
Unaccompanied Visits Inadvisable.--Some parents mistake in giving their children too much liberty. They sometimes have so much confidence in them that they do not see their faults. It is wrong to allow children, at some expense, to visit at a distance, unaccompanied by their parents or guardians. It has a wrong influence upon the children. They come to feel that they are of considerable consequence and that certain privileges belong to them, and if these are not granted, they think themselves abused. They refer to children who go and come and have many privileges, while they have so few. {AH 470.2}[15]
§33
作母亲的人又怕儿女认为她不公平，便尽可能设法餍足他们的欲望，结果便明显地对他们造成了极大的损害。年青的游客由于没有父母谨慎的眼目注意他们并纠正他们的错误，因此便领受了许多须费好几个月的时间才能予以消除的印象。[16]
§34
And the mother, fearing that her children will think her unjust, gratifies their wishes, which in the end proves a great injury to them. Young visitors, who have not a parents watchful eye over them to see and correct their faults, often receive impressions which it will take months to remove. {AH 470.3}[16]
§35
如何应付愚昧的劝告——最好把你们的儿女留在家里；如果有人对你们说：“你们的儿女将来会不懂得怎样处世为人，”就当对你们的朋友说，关于这件事你们并不太关怀，但你们确实盼望能将孩子们带到主的面前来求他祝福，犹如昔日的母亲们将自己的儿女带到耶稣面前来一样。要向劝告你们的人说：“儿女乃是主所赐的产业，我要忠于我的委托。我必须教养我的儿女，使他们不致因世俗的影响而有所动摇，却在受试探去犯罪时愿毅然决然地说：‘不。’”要对你的朋友和邻舍说：你们盼望在那荣美之城的门内见到自己全家的人。[17]
§36
Unwise Advice and How to Meet It.--Keep your children at their home; and if people say to you, Your children will not know how to conduct themselves in the world, tell your friends that you are not so concerned about that matter, but that you do want to take them to the Master for His blessing, even as the mothers of old took their children to Jesus. Say to your advisers: Children are the heritage of the Lord, and I want to prove faithful to my trust. . . . My children must be brought up in such a way that they shall not be swayed by the influences of the world, but where, when tempted to sin, they may be able to say a square, hearty no. . . .Tell your friends and neighbors that you want to see your family inside the gates of the beautiful city. {AH 470.4}[17]
§37
面临我们青年的严重考验——应该训练并教导儿童，使他们能适应困难，并能预料到试探和危险。应该教导他们如何控制自己，并以大丈夫的气魄克服一切艰难；而且他们若不故意冒险犯难，或不必要地置身于试探之途，他们若力避罪恶的影响和行为不检的友伴，则万一被迫而与危险的人物往来之时，他们就必具有品格上的力量，能维护正义，持守原则，并靠着上帝的大能，使自己的德行不致沾染污垢。凡受过正当教育的青年，只要依靠上帝，他们的道德力就必能经得起最严重的考验。[18]
§38
Powerful Tests Are Before Our Youth.--Children should be trained and educated so that they may calculate to meet with difficulties and expect temptations and dangers. They should be taught to have control over themselves and to nobly overcome difficulties; and if they do not willfully rush into danger and needlessly place themselves in the way of temptation, if they avoid evil influences and vicious society, and then are unavoidably compelled to be in dangerous company, they will have strength of character to stand for the right and preserve principle and will come forth in the strength of God with their morals untainted. The moral powers of youth who have been properly educated, if they make God their trust, will be equal to stand the most powerful test. {AH 471.1}[18]