第69章 礼貌与仁慈
§1
第69章 礼貌与仁慈
§2
Chap. 69 - Courtesy and Kindness
§3
礼貌能使人生不幸的事消除大半——“爱弟兄，要彼此亲热，”此一训谕所谆谆教导的原则乃是家庭幸福的根基。基督化的礼貌应在每个家庭之中作主。这样的礼貌无须以高价购买，然而它有能力软化那种没有它即变为冷酷与粗暴的性情。培养一贯不变的礼貌，甘心乐意地对待别人，正如盼望别人对待我们一样，就可以使人生不幸的事消除大半了。[1]
§4
Courtesy Will Banish Half Lifes Ills.--The principle inculcated by the injunction, Be kindly affectioned one to another, lies at the very foundation of domestic happiness. Christian courtesy should reign in every household. It is cheap, but it has power to soften natures which would grow hard and rough without it. The cultivation of a uniform courtesy, a willingness to do by others as we would like them to do by us, would banish half the ills of life. {AH 421.1}[1]
§5
礼貌应自家中作起——我们若希望自己儿女实行仁慈、礼貌、与亲爱，就必须自己先给他们树立榜样。[2]
§6
Courtesy Begins in the Home.--If we would have our children practice kindness, courtesy, and love, we ourselves must set them the example. {AH 421.2}[2]
§7
作父母的彼此当以礼相待，虽在微小的事上也该如此。在各方面都显示仁慈的精神，应当将之立为家中的规律。勿说粗暴的话，勿出苦毒之言。[3]
§8
Courtesy, even in little things, should be manifested by the parents toward each other. Universal kindness should be the law of the house. No rude language should be indulged; no bitter words should be spoken. {AH 421.3}[3]
§9
人人都可具有愉快的容貌，柔和的声音，与温文有礼的态度；这些都是能力的要素。儿童们会被愉快和悦的风度所吸引。只要你以仁慈和礼貌对待他们，他们就必以同样的精神对待你，并以同样的精神彼此相待。[4]
§10
All may possess a cheerful countenance, a gentle voice, a courteous manner; and these are elements of power. Children are attracted by a cheerful, sunny demeanor. Show them kindness and courtesy, and they will manifest the same spirit toward you and toward one another. {AH 421.4}[4]
§11
你的礼貌和自制在你儿女品格上所产生的影响，要比你所讲的话有力得多了。[5]
§12
Your courtesy and self-control will have greater influence upon the characters of your children than mere words could have. {AH 421.5}[5]
§13
互以仁慈相待使家庭成为乐园——由于向儿女说话慈和，而且赞许他们尽力为善的表现，父母便可借此鼓励他们继续努力，使他们异常快乐，而且必在家庭范围内造成一种美妙的气氛，足以驱散一切阴影，带来喜乐的阳光。互以仁慈相待，能使家庭成为乐园，吸引圣天使到家中来；但是他们必远避那些充满不睦的言语，暴躁的习气，与纷争倾轧的家庭。不仁慈的行为、怨詈、与恼恨，必使耶稣被摒于家门之外。[6]
§14
Mutual Kindness Makes Home a Paradise.-- By speaking kindly to their children and praising them when they try to do right, parents may encourage their efforts, make them very happy, and throw around the family circle a charm which will chase away very dark shadow and bring cheerful sunlight in. Mutual kindness and forbearance will make home a Paradise and attract holy angels into the family circle; but they will flee from a house where there are unpleasant words, fretfulness, and strife. Unkindness, complaining, and anger shut Jesus from the dwelling. {AH 421.6}[6]
§15
日常生活中的礼貌，和应该存于同一家庭中各个分子间的爱，并不依赖外在的环境如何而定。[7]
§16
The courtesies of everyday life and the affection that should exist between members of the same family do not depend upon outward circumstances. {AH 422.1}[7]
§17
悦耳的声音，温和的态度，以及显露于一切行为上的诚挚的爱，再加上勤勉、整洁和节俭足以使茅舍成为一个最快乐的家庭。创造主满怀嘉许地垂眷着这样的家庭。[8]
§18
Pleasant voices, gentle manners, and sincere affection that finds expression in all the actions, together with industry, neatness, and economy, make even a hovel the happiest of homes. The Creator regards such a home with approbation. {AH 422.2}[8]
§19
许多人在生活中必须多顾念自己的家人，少注意家庭范围以外的世界。应当少和客人及陌生人虚与委蛇地表示礼貌与亲切，多注重那出自纯爱与同情的礼貌，以之对待我们自己家里的亲人。[9]
§20
There are many who should live less for the outside world and more for the members of their own family circle. There should be less display of superficial politeness and affection toward strangers and visitors and more of the courtesy that springs from genuine love and sympathy toward the dear ones of our own firesides. {AH 422.3}[9]
§21
真礼貌的定义——在家中培养真实的高雅，的确是一件极其需要的事。这在维护真理方面乃是一种强有力的见证。鄙俗的言语和行为，不拘在谁的身上显露出来，都是表明一颗腐化的心。自天而来的真理从不使领受的人卑劣，或粗暴无礼。真理含有使人温和优雅的影响力。若将它接受在心，它必使青年人恭谨有礼。基督化的礼貌唯有在圣灵的运行之下才能接受。它并不是由虚情或矫作的装饰，鞠躬或巧笑所构成的。这乃是世俗之流的礼貌，但其中却缺乏基督化的真礼貌。真正的文雅，真正的礼貌，唯有从实际明白基督的福音才能获致。真正的优雅，真正的礼貌就是向众人表露仁爱，无论贵贱、贫富都一视同仁。[10]
§22
True Politeness Defined.--There is great need of the cultivation of true refinement in the home. This is a powerful witness in favor of the truth. In whomsoever they may appear, vulgarity of language and of demeanor indicate a vitiated heart. Truth of heavenly origin never degrades the receiver, never makes him coarse or rough. Truth is softening and refining in its influence. When received into the heart, it makes the youth respectful and polite. Christian politeness is received only under the working of the Holy Spirit. It does not consist in affection or artificial polish, in bowing and simpering. This is the class of politeness possessed by those of the world, but they are destitute of true Christian politeness. True polish, true politeness, is obtained only from a practical knowledge of the gospel of Christ. True politeness, true courtesy, is a kindness shown to all, high or low, rich or poor. {AH 422.4}[10]
§23
真礼貌的要素乃是顾及他人。那最基本最持久的教育，乃是扩大同情与激发博爱之心的教育。那所谓教化者，若不能使一个青年孝敬他的父母，重视他们的美德，容忍他们的过错，济助他们的需要；若不能使他成为一个体贴柔和的人，对于或老或少或不幸之人显出慷慨乐助的心，并以礼貌对待众人，那么这种教化便算是失败了。[11]
§24
The essence of true politeness is consideration for others. The essential, enduring education is that which broadens the sympathies and encourages universal kindliness. That so-called culture which does not make a youth deferential toward his parents, appreciative of their excellences, forbearing toward their defects, and helpful to their necessities; which does not make him considerate and tender, generous and helpful toward the young, the old, and the unfortunate, and courteous toward all is a failure. {AH 423.1}[11]
§25
基督化的礼貌乃是金的环扣，使家中每一分子在爱中团结起来，日益亲密而坚强。以金律为家规——《圣经》里蕴含着最有价值的处世治家的规律。其中不但有最完美最纯洁的道德标准，并且包含着最有价值的礼仪法典。我们救主的山边宝训中充满了长幼咸宜的无可估价的教训。这段经文应当常常在家中诵读，并在日常生活中实践其中的宝训。“所以无论何事，你们愿意人怎样待你们，你们也要怎样待人，”这条金律和使徒们的训诲：“恭敬人，要彼此推让，”都当作为家规。凡怀存基督精神的人必在家中彬彬有礼，虽在细节琐务上也必表现慈和的心意。他们必经常尽其所能地使四围的人快乐，在仁慈地照顾他人的事上忘却小我。这乃是基督徒树上所结的美果。[12]
§26
Christian courtesy is the golden clasp which unites the members of the family in bonds of love, becoming closer and stronger every day. {AH 423.2}[12]
§27
这条金律乃是真礼貌的原则，而它最正确的范例可在耶稣的生平和品格上见到。啊，我们的救主在日常生活中所照耀出来的是何等柔和优美的光辉！他的临格散溢着何等馨香的气息！这同样的精神也必显示于他儿女的身上。凡有基督与之同住的人必为神圣的气氛所环绕。他们洁白的衣袍必带有来自主的园囿中的清芬。他们的容颜必反射出他圣面上的荣光，照亮那疲惫而蹒跚的脚步所行的道途。[13]
§28
Make the Golden Rule the Law for the Family.-- The most valuable rules for social and family intercourse are to be found in the Bible. There is not only the best and purest standard of morality but the most valuable code of politeness. Our Saviours Sermon on the Mount contains instruction of priceless worth to old and young. It should be often read in the family circle and its precious teachings exemplified in the daily life. The golden rule, Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them, as well as the apostolic injunction, In honour preferring one another, should be made the law of the family. Those who cherish the spirit of Christ will manifest politeness at home, a spirit of benevolence even in little things. They will be constantly seeking to make all around them happy, forgetting self in their kind attentions to others. This is the fruit which grows upon the Christian tree. {AH 423.3}[13]
§29
有关礼貌的最佳论著——在一切论到礼貌的论著中，最有价值的要算救主借着使徒保罗所发的那段宝贵的教训了。这段教训是每一个人无论老少所当永远铭记在心的：[14]
§30
The golden rule is the principle of true courtesy, and its truest illustration is seen in the life and character of Jesus. Oh, what rays of softness and beauty shone forth in the daily life of our Saviour! What sweetness flowed from His very presence! The same spirit will be revealed in His children. Those with whom Christ dwells will be surrounded with a divine atmosphere. Their white robes of purity will be fragrant with perfume from the garden of the Lord. Their faces will reflect light from His, brightening the path for stumbling and weary feet. {AH 424.1}[14]
§31
“爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；[15]
§32
The Best Treatise on Etiquette.--The most valuable treatise on etiquette ever penned is the precious instruction given by the Saviour, with the utterance of the Holy Spirit through the Apostle Paul--words that should be ineffaceably written in the memory of every human being, young or old: {AH 424.2}[15]
§33
爱是不嫉妒；[16]
§34
As I have loved you, that ye also love one another. Love suffereth long, and is kind; Love envieth not; Love vaunteth not itself, Is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, Seeketh not its own, Is not provoked, Taketh not account of evil; Rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, But rejoiceth with the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, Hopeth all things, endureth all things. Love never faileth. {AH 424.3}[16]
§35
爱是不自夸，[17]
§36
The Bible enjoins courtesy; and it presents many illustrations of the unselfish spirit, the gentle grace, the winsome temper, that characterize true politeness. These are but reflections of the character of Christ. All the real tenderness and courtesy in the world, even among those who do not acknowledge His name, is from Him. And He desires these characteristics to be perfectly reflected in His children. It is His purpose that in us men shall behold His beauty. {AH 425.1}[17]
§37
不张狂，[18]
§38
Christianity will make a man a gentleman. Christ was courteous, even to His persecutors; and His true followers will manifest the same spirit. Look at Paul when brought before rulers. His speech before Agrippa is an illustration of true courtesy as well as persuasive eloquence. The gospel does not encourage the formal politeness current with the world, but the courtesy that springs from real kindness of heart. {AH 425.2}[18]
§39
不作害羞的事，[19]
§40
We do not plead for a manifestation of what the world calls courtesy, but for that courtesy which everyone will take with him to the mansions of the blessed. {AH 425.3}[19]
§41
不求自己的益处，[20]
§42
True Courtesy Must Be Motivated by Love.--The most careful cultivation of the outward proprieties of life is not sufficient to shut out all fretfulness, harsh judgment, and unbecoming speech. True refinement will never be revealed so long as self is considered as the supreme object. Love must dwell in the heart. A thoroughgoing Christian draws his motives of action from his deep heart-love for his Master. Up through the roots of his affection for Christ springs an unselfish interest in his brethren. {AH 425.4}[20]
§43
不轻易发怒，[21]
§44
Of all things that are sought, cherished, and cultivated, there is nothing so valuable in the sight of God as a pure heart, a disposition imbued with thankfulness and peace. {AH 425.5}[21]
§45
不计算人的恶；[22]
§46
If the divine harmony of truth and love exists in the heart, it will shine forth in words and actions. . . . The spirit of genuine benevolence must dwell in the heart. Love imparts to its possessor grace, propriety, and comeliness of deportment. Love illuminates the countenance and subdues the voice; it refines and elevates the entire man. It brings him into harmony with God, for it is a heavenly attribute. {AH 426.1}[22]
§47
不喜欢不义，[23]
§48
True courtesy is not learned by the mere practice of rules of etiquette. Propriety of deportment is at all times to be observed; wherever principle is not compromised, consideration of others will lead to compliance with accepted customs; but true courtesy requires no sacrifice of principle to conventionality. It ignores caste. It teaches self-respect, respect for the dignity of man as man, a regard for every member of the great human brotherhood. {AH 426.2}[23]
§49
只喜欢真理；[24]
§50
Love Is Expressed in Looks, Words, and Acts.-- Above all things, parents should surround their children with an atmosphere of cheerfulness, courtesy, and love. A home where love dwells and where it finds expression in looks, in words, in acts, is a place where angels delight to dwell. Parents, let the sunshine of love, cheer, and happy content enter your own hearts, and let its sweet influence pervade the home. Manifest a kindly, forbearing spirit, and encourage the same in your children, cultivating all those graces that will brighten the home life. The atmosphere thus created will be to the children what air and sunshine are to the vegetable world, promoting health and vigor of mind and body. {AH 426.3}[24]
§51
凡事包容，凡事相信，[25]
§52
Gentle manners, cheerful conversation, and loving acts will bind the hearts of children to their parents by the silken cords of affection and will do more to make home attractive than the rarest ornaments that can be bought for gold. {AH 426.4}[25]
§53
凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。[26]
§54
Varied Temperaments Must Blend.--It is in the order of God that persons of varied temperament should associate together. When this is the case, each member of the household should sacredly regard the feelings and respect the rights of the others. By this means mutual consideration and forbearance will be cultivated, prejudices will be softened, and rough points of character smoothed. Harmony may be secured, and the blending of the varied temperaments may be a benefit to each. {AH 427.1}[26]
§55
爱是永不止息。”[27]
§56
Nothing Will Atone for Lack of Courtesy.--Those who profess to be followers of Christ and are at the same time rough, unkind, and uncourteous in words and deportment have not learned of Jesus. A blustering, overbearing, faultfinding man is not a Christian; for to be a Christian is to be Christlike. The conduct of some professed Christians is so lacking in kindness and courtesy that their good is evil spoken of. Their sincerity may not be doubted; their uprightness may not be questioned, but sincerity and uprightness will not atone for a lack of kindness and courtesy. The Christian is to be sympathetic as well as true, pitiful and courteous as well as upright and honest. {AH 427.2}[27]
§57
《圣经》吩咐人要有礼貌，并且列举许多的例证，显明不自私的精神，温柔的美德，和悦的性情，乃是真礼貌的特征。这些无非是基督品德的反映而已。世上一切的真仁慈与礼貌，连那些不承认主名之人所表现的，也都是从他而来的。他渴望这些特征要在他儿女身上完完全全地反映出来。他的旨意乃是要世人能从我们身上看出他的荣美。[28]
§58
Any negligence of acts of politeness and tender regard on the part of brother for brother, any neglect of kind, encouraging words in the family circle, parents with children and children with parents, confirms habits which make the character unchristlike. But if these little things are performed, they become great things. They increase to large proportions. They breathe a sweet perfume in the life which ascends to God as holy incense. {AH 427.3}[28]
§59
基督教足以使人成为一位君子。基督是彬彬有礼的，即使对于那般逼迫他的人也是如此；而他的一切真实的门徒必表现与他相似的精神。且看保罗站在官长之前时如何。他面对亚基帕王时所发的谠论，乃是真礼貌的例证，也是动人的雄辩。福音并不奖励那迎合世俗而徒具形式的礼貌，乃赞许那发自内心的真正亲切的礼貌。[29]
§60
Many Are Longing for Thoughtfulness.--Many long intensely for friendly sympathy. . . . We should be self-forgetful, ever looking out for opportunities, even in little things, to show gratitude for the favors we have received of others, and watching for opportunities to cheer others and lighten and relieve their sorrows and burdens by acts of tender kindness and little deeds of love. These thoughtful courtesies that, commencing in our families, extend outside the family circle help make up the sum of lifes happiness; and the neglect of these little things makes up the sum of lifes bitterness and sorrow. {AH 428.1}[29]
§61
我们并不要求表现世人所谓的礼貌，乃要求流露那种凡进入有福的住处之人所必具的礼貌。[30]
§62
Through Social Relations Contact Is Made With the World.--It is through the social relations that Christianity comes in contact with the world. Every man or woman who has tasted of the love of Christ and has received into the heart the divine illumination is required of God to shed light on the dark pathway of those who are unacquainted with the better way. {AH 428.2}[30]
§63
真礼貌的动机必出于爱——十分谨慎地培养生活中外表的礼仪，仍不足以免除一切急躁的，苛刻的判断，以及失礼的言谈。真正的文雅在自我仍被尊为至上的时候是决不会显露出来的。必须有爱存在心中。一个纯全的基督徒的行为动机，乃出于心中对他的主所怀深挚的爱。从他对基督之爱的根源必涌发出对他弟兄的无私之关怀。[31]
§64
We can manifest a thousand little attentions in friendly words and pleasant looks, which will be reflected upon us again. Thoughtless Christians manifest by their neglect of others that they are not in union with Christ. It is impossible to be in union with Christ and yet be unkind to others and forgetful of their rights. {AH 428.3}[31]
§65
人们所寻求、所珍视、所培养的一切事物，在上帝眼中看来，再没有比清洁的心，为感恩与和睦所浸染的性情更有价值的了。[32]
§66
We should all become witnesses for Jesus. Social power, sanctified by the grace of Christ, must be improved in winning souls to the Saviour. Let the world see that we are not selfishly absorbed in our own interests, but that we desire others to share our blessings and privileges. Let them see that our religion does not make us unsympathetic or exacting. Let all who profess to have found Christ minister as He did for the benefit of men. We should never give to the world the false impression that Christians are a gloomy, unhappy people. {AH 428.4}[32]
§67
倘若有真理与爱之神圣的和谐存在心中，就必从言语和行为上照耀出来。真正仁慈的精神必须长存心中。爱必赋予凡拥有它的人以恩惠、礼仪和适当的行为。爱能使面容发光，使声调柔和；爱能使人超拔，使人文雅。爱能使人与上帝和好，因为爱原是上天的特质。[33]
§68
If we are courteous and gentle at home, we shall carry the savor of a pleasant disposition when away from home. If we manifest forbearance, patience, meekness, and fortitude in the home, we shall be able to be a light to the world. {AH 429.1}[33]
§69
真正的礼貌并非仅由实行礼仪的规例就可学得。合礼的举止是随时均须遵行的；无论在何处，只要无损于正义，不妨因顾虑他人而随风从俗；但真正的礼貌决不是要人因曲循习俗而牺牲原则的。真正的礼貌是不分阶级的。真正的礼貌是教人自尊，教人敬重人的尊严，并于四海之内皆视同兄弟的。[34]
§70
爱须显示于容色、言谈和举止之间——最重要的乃是：作父母的应该以愉快、礼貌、与爱的气氛环护他们的子女。一个有爱住在其间，而这爱也常在容色，言谈，和举止之间表现出来的家庭，乃是天使乐于居住的处所。作父母的啊，你们当让仁爱、喜乐、和愉快的阳光照入你们自己的心内，使那甘美的影响洋溢于家庭之中。你们当表现亲挚，忍耐的精神，也要勉励儿女具有同样的精神，培养一切能使家庭生活美满的德行。如此造成的气氛对于儿女，便如空气与日光之于植物一般，能促进身心的健康和精力。[35]
§71
优雅的仪态，愉快的谈吐，和仁慈的行为，必以慈绳爱索将儿女的心与双亲相系结，在使家庭成为最可爱的地方这件事上，比用金钱所能购买的最珍贵的装饰更有效。[36]
§72
相异的性情必须融合——按上帝的训令，性情相异的人应当彼此交往。遇有这样的情形时，家中的每一分子应当格外体谅他人的情绪，尊重他人的权利。这样行，就能养成彼此之间的体谅与宽容，成见消除了，品格上的粗劣之点也就磨净了。家庭的和谐就可获得，而相异的性情融合的结果必使各人受益匪浅。[37]
§73
缺少礼貌是无可原谅的——凡自称是基督的门徒，却仍在言行各方面显露粗鲁、不仁、无礼的人，就是还没有向耶稣学习过。一个虚张声势，傲慢自大，吹毛求疵的人，决不是一个基督徒；因为作基督徒的意义乃是要像基督。有些自称基督徒之人的举止行为竟如此缺少亲切和礼貌，以至他们的善行也受到了毁谤。他们的诚心或许无可置疑；他们的正直或许也没有问题，然而诚心与正直并不能弥补亲切与礼貌之不足。基督徒不但要真诚，也要富有同情之心；不但要正直，要忠实，也要怜悯为怀，彬彬有礼。[38]
§74
在弟兄与弟兄之间若忽略了有礼的行为与亲切的表现，或在家庭范围之内，父母对子女，子女对父母若忽略了亲挚与鼓励的言语，便确立了一种足以使其品格不似基督的习惯。但若履行这些小事，则小事就都必成为大事。它们的范围必继续扩展。它们必将馨香之气吹入生命之中，犹如圣香一般升达上帝面前。[39]
§75
很多人渴望得着关怀——很多人心中渴望得着友善的同情。我们应当忘却自我，常常寻找机会因别人所给予的帮助而表示谢意，即使在最小的事上也应如此；又当找机会去鼓舞别人，以亲切的行动和出自爱心的服务减轻他们的重担，安抚他们的忧伤。这种发源于我们自己家里的由衷的礼貌，延伸到家庭范围以外，就可协助造成人生幸福的极点；而如果忽略这些小事，就必造成人生痛苦与悲愁的极点。[40]
§76
借着社交与世人接触——透过社交关系，基督教便与世界有了接触。凡尝过基督之爱的滋味，心中接受神圣光照的男女，都负有对上帝应尽的义务，要将亮光照在一切不认识那至善之道的人的黑暗途程中。[41]
§77
我们都能借着友善的言辞与和悦的容色，显示千万种微小的关怀，而这一切都会反映到我们自己身上来。那等轻率的基督徒，由于常常忽视他人，便显明他们与基督并无任何联络。一方面以不仁之心待人，甚且忘了别人的权益，而另一方面要与基督联合，乃是不可能的事。[42]
§78
我们都当作耶稣的见证人。要利用那因基督恩典而成圣的社交力量去引人归向救主。让世人看出我们并不是自私，专注意自己的利益，而是渴望他人分享我们的福惠和权利的。让他们看出我们的宗教并没有使我们变成刻薄无情的人。凡自称已经找到基督的人，应当像他一样，为造福他人而服务。我们万不可给世人一个错误的印象，使他们认为基督徒是一班忧郁寡欢的人。[43]