第56章 论离婚
§1
第56章 论离婚Chap. 56 - Divorce
§2
婚姻为终身的合约——在青年人的思想中，婚姻乃是带有浪漫意味的，而要将想象在这方面所加上的特色取消，予人以有关婚约所含重大责任的印象，实在不是一件易事。婚约乃是用那唯有死亡之手才能解脱的绳索将二人的命运系结在一起了。[1]
§3
Marriage Is a Contract for Life.--In the youthful mind marriage is clothed with romance, and it is difficult to divest it of this feature, with which imagination covers it, and to impress the mind with a sense of the weighty responsibilities involved in the marriage vow. This vow links the destinies of the two individuals with bonds which naught but the hand of death should sever. {AH 340.1}[1]
§4
凡订婚均应经过审慎的考虑，因为婚姻乃是关系终身的大事。男女双方都当郑重考虑：他们在有生之年是否能历尽沧桑而仍相依为命。[2]
§5
Every marriage engagement should be carefully considered, for marriage is a step taken for life. Both the man and the woman should carefully consider whether they can cleave to each other through the vicissitudes of life as long as they both shall live. {AH 340.2}[2]
§6
耶稣纠正世人对于婚姻的误解——在犹太人中，人可以因无足轻重的细故休妻，而女方也有再嫁的自由。这种习俗导致了极大的不幸与罪恶。耶稣在山边宝训中很清楚地宣称：除非对婚约不忠，就不可以解除婚姻的关系。他说：“凡休妻的，若不是为淫乱的缘故，就是叫她作淫妇了；人若娶这被休的妇人，也是犯奸淫了。”[3]
§7
Jesus Corrected Misconceptions of Marriage.-- Among the Jews a man was permitted to put away his wife for the most trivial offenses, and the woman was then at liberty to marry again. This practice led to great wretchedness and sin. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus declared plainly that there could be no dissolution of the marriage tie except for unfaithfulness to the marriage vow. Every one, He said, that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery. {AH 340.3}[3]
§8
后来，当法利赛人质问耶稣关于离婚是否合法的时候，他便提醒他的听众回想到创世时所设立的婚姻制度。他说：“摩西因为你们的心硬，所以许你们休妻；但起初并不是这样。”他向他们提到伊甸园蒙福的日子，那时上帝宣称一切所造的都“甚好。”婚姻与安息日同有其起源，这两种制度都是因裨益于人并使上帝得到荣耀而设立的。创造主在使那对圣洁的男女握手结成夫妇时曾说：“人要离开父母，与妻子连合；二人成为一体，”他便这样为直到末时所有亚当的子孙颁布了婚姻律法。永在的父曾亲自宣称：这有关人类最高福乐与发展的律法乃是良善的。[4]
§9
When the Pharisees afterward questioned Him concerning the lawfulness of divorce, Jesus pointed His hearers back to the marriage institution as ordained at creation. Because of the hardness of your hearts, He said, Moses suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. He referred them to the blessed days of Eden when God pronounced all things very good. Then marriage and the Sabbath had their origin, twin institutions for the glory of God in the benefit of humanity. Then, as the Creator joined the hands of the holy pair in wedlock, saying, A man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one, He enunciated the law of marriage for all the children of Adam to the close of time. That which the eternal Father Himself had pronounced good was the law of highest blessing and development for man. {AH 340.4}[4]
§10
耶稣降生到我们这个世界来乃要纠正错误，并在人身上恢复上帝道德的形象。有关婚姻问题的错误见解，已盘踞在以色列人师傅们的心意中。他们想使神圣的婚姻制度失去功效。人们的心愈来愈刚硬，以至为了微不足道的借口就与自己的妻子分离，或随自己的意思使她与儿女分开，将她休了。这事被认为是奇耻大辱，而往往随之俱来的，乃是使那被遗弃的人感受到剧烈的痛苦。[5]
§11
Jesus came to our world to rectify mistakes and to restore the moral image of God in man. Wrong sentiments in regard to marriage had found a place in the minds of the teachers of Israel. They were making of none effect the sacred institution of marriage. Man was becoming so hardhearted that he would for the most trivial excuse separate from his wife, or, if he chose, he would separate her from the children and send her away. This was considered a great disgrace and was often accompanied by the most acute suffering on the part of the discarded one. {AH 341.1}[5]
§12
基督来乃要纠正这一类的弊害，而且他的第一个神迹也是在举行婚礼时施行的。这样他就向世人宣布：婚姻若保持纯洁而毫无玷污，便是一种神圣的制度。[6]
§13
Christ came to correct these evils, and His first miracle was wrought on the occasion of the marriage. Thus He announced to the world that marriage when kept pure and undefiled is a sacred institution. {AH 341.2}[6]
§14
给一位意图离婚者的劝告——你对于婚姻关系的观念乃是错误的。唯有玷污婚姻的洞房的行为才能解除婚约或使之无效。我们生存在一个危险的时代中，除了坚定不移的相信耶稣基督之外，别无保障。一个人若不警醒祈祷，就难免不因撒但的诡计而与上帝疏远。[7]
§15
Counsel to One Contemplating Divorce.--Your ideas in regard to the marriage relation have been erroneous. Nothing but the violation of the marriage bed can either break or annul the marriage vow. We are living in perilous times, when there is no assurance in anything save in firm, unwavering faith in Jesus Christ. There is no heart that may not be estranged from God through the devices of Satan, if one does not watch unto prayer. {AH 341.3}[7]
§16
你的心思若安定平静，则你的健康情形就必远较现在为佳了；可惜你的心思已错乱失常，因此你对于离婚一事所作的推论也是不正确的。根据你的推论，你的见解是不堪支持的。人不能随意为自己创制律法作为标准，而远避上帝的律法，放任自己的心愿。他们必须服从上帝之公义的伟大道德标准。[8]
§17
Your health would have been in a far better condition had your mind been at peace and rest; but it became confused and unbalanced, and you reasoned incorrectly in regard to the matter of divorce. Your views cannot be sustained on the ground from which you reason. Men are not at liberty to make a standard of law for themselves, to avoid Gods law and please their own inclination. They must come to Gods great moral standard of righteousness. . . . {AH 342.1}[8]
§18
上帝只容许一个叫妻子离开丈夫或丈夫离开妻子的理由，那就是犯了奸淫。这一方面的理由也必须虔诚地加以思考。[9]
§19
God gave only one cause why a wife should leave her husband, or the husband leave his wife, which was adultery. Let this ground be prayerfully considered. {AH 342.2}[9]
§20
给一对已仳离之夫妇的忠告——我的弟兄，我的姊妹，你们分居已有相当时日了。你们原不该采取这样的行动，而且你们双方若培养了那原应存在于夫妻之间的容忍、亲爱与宽恕，就不致闹到这般地步了。你们两人都不该坚持自己的意向，不顾后果如何而企图实行一己的主张和计划。你们双方都不应坚决地任性而行。但愿上帝之灵那软化并折服人心的感化力在你们的心中运行，使你们适合教养自己儿女的工作。当恳求你们的天父，保守你们不屈从那彼此以急躁、粗暴与任性态度说话的试探，无论丈夫对妻子或妻子对丈夫，都是一样。你们两人的品格都是不完全的。因为你们都不服从上帝的管理，所以你们彼此相待的行为都是不智的。[10]
§21
Advice to a Separated Couple.--My brother, my sister, for some time you have not been living together. You should not have pursued this course and would not have done so if both of you had been cultivating the patience, kindness, and forbearance that should ever exist between husband and wife. Neither of you should set up your own will and try to carry out your individual ideas and plans whatever the consequences may be. Neither of you should be determined to do as you please. Let the softening, subduing influence of the Spirit of God work upon your hearts and fit you for the work of training your children. . . . Appeal to your heavenly Father to keep you from yielding to the temptation to speak in an impatient, harsh, willful manner to each other, the husband to the wife, and the wife to the husband. Both of you have imperfect characters. Because you have not been under Gods control, your conduct toward each other has been unwise. {AH 342.3}[10]
§22
我奉劝你们两人要将自己置于上帝的管理之下。当受试探要说令人生气的话时，最好缄口不言。你们在这一方面必定遭受试探，乃是因为你们从未制胜自己品格上这一可憎的癖性。但每一不良的习惯都须予以制胜。要完全顺服上帝。要掉在那磐石——基督耶稣——上，并且要跌碎。你们既成为夫妇，就当约束自己。要到基督跟前来求帮助。他必乐意地将他神圣的同情和他白白的恩典供应你们。[11]
§23
I beseech you to bring yourselves under Gods control. When tempted to speak provokingly, refrain from saying anything. You will be tempted on this point because you have never overcome this objectionable trait of character. But every wrong habit must be overcome. Make a complete surrender to God. Fall on the Rock, Christ Jesus, and be broken. As husband and wife, discipline yourselves. Go to Christ for help. He will willingly supply you with His divine sympathy, His free grace. . . . {AH 342.4}[11]
§24
当在上帝面前为你们过去的行为懊悔。当彼此谅解，再结为夫妇。当排除已往生活中那些不和谐不愉快的经验。要在主里面鼓起勇气来。当将心灵的窗户向世界关闭，而向上天敞开。你们若扬声祈祷，向上天求光，那身为真光与生命，平安与喜乐的主耶稣就必垂听你们的呼吁。他——那公义的日头——必照彻你们心灵的内室，照亮你们的心殿。你们若欢迎他临格的阳光射入你们的家中，就不至于说出那使人有不幸之感的话语来了。[12]
§25
Repent before God for your past course. Come to an understanding, and reunite as husband and wife. Put away the disagreeable, unhappy experience of your past life. Take courage in the Lord. Close the windows of the soul earthward, and open them heavenward. If your voices are uplifted in prayer to heaven for light, the Lord Jesus, who is light and life, peace and joy, will hear your cry. He, the Sun of Righteousness, will shine into the chambers of your mind, lighting up the soul temple. If you welcome the sunshine of His presence into your home, you will not utter words of a nature to cause feelings of unhappiness. {AH 343.1}[12]
§26
写给一位受虐待而陷于绝望的妻子——我收到了你的来信，现在我要答复你说，除非你在丁先生的身上看出了确定有改变，我不能劝你回到他那里去。主不喜悦他以前那种对于妻子当得之分的观念。如果他仍坚持从前的见解，那么你的前途就不会比过去为佳。他并不知道应当怎样对待妻子。[13]
§27
To a Hopelessly Mistreated Wife.--I have received your letter, and in reply to it I would say, I cannot advise you to return to D unless you see decided changes in him. The Lord is not pleased with the ideas he has had in the past of what is due to a wife. . . . If [he] holds to his former views, the future would be not better for you than the past has been. He does not know how to treat a wife. {AH 343.2}[13]
§28
这事使我觉得非常忧愁。我真的为丁先生难过，但我却不能劝你违背自己的见解而回到他那里去。我坦白地向你说，也像向他所说的一样：要再度将你自己置于他的独断独行之下，乃是危险的。我本来希望他有所改变。[14]
§29
I feel very sad about this matter. I feel indeed sorry for D, but I cannot advise you to go to him against your judgment. I speak to you as candidly as I spoke to him; it would be perilous for you to again place yourself under his dictation. I had hoped that he would change. . . . {AH 343.3}[14]
§30
主洞悉你所有的一切经验。在主里面鼓起勇气来；他决不会离开你，也不会丢弃你。我也以最亲切的心同情你。[15]
§31
The Lord understands all about your experiences. . . . Be of good courage in the Lord; He will not leave you nor forsake you. My heart goes out in tenderest sympathy for you. {AH 343.4}[15]
§32
写给一位被抛弃的丈夫——“背起你的十字架。”——我看不出对于这件事还有什么可以补救的办法，而且我想你所唯一能作的就是放弃你的妻子。如果她是这样决心的不愿与你同居，那么勉强同居就必使她和你双方都要非常不幸了。况且她既是十分坚决的采取这样的行动，你只有背起你的十字架来，显明你是个大丈夫。[16]
§33
To a Deserted Husband--Shoulder Your Cross.-- I cannot see what more can be done in this case, and I think that the only thing that you can do is to give up your wife. If she is thus determined not to live with you, both she and you would be most miserable to attempt it. And as she has fully and determinedly set her stakes, you can only shoulder your cross and show yourself a man. {AH 344.1}[16]
§34
虽已离婚，但在上帝看来仍是结合的——一个妇女依照国家的法律，或者可以说是已经与她的丈夫正式离婚了，然而在上帝看来，并按照那更高的律法而言，她还没有离婚。因为只有一种罪——那就是奸淫，才能在上帝面前使丈夫或妻子处于可以摆脱婚约约束的地步。虽然国家的法令允许离婚，但依照《圣经》的真理并根据上帝的律法，他们还是夫妻。[17]
§35
Still Married in Gods Sight, Although Divorced.-- A woman may be legally divorced from her husband by the laws of the land and yet not divorced in the sight of God and according to the higher law. There is only one sin, which is adultery, which can place the husband or wife in a position where they can be free from the marriage vow in the sight of God. Although the laws of the land may grant a divorce, yet they are husband and wife still in the Bible light, according to the laws of God. {AH 344.2}[17]
§36
某某姊妹直到现在仍无权与另一位男子结婚；但是她——或任何其他妇女，若因自己的丈夫犯了奸淫而合法地离了婚，她也可以自由地与她所选择的对象结婚了。[18]
§37
I saw that Sister _____, as yet, has no right to marry another man; but if she, or any other woman, should obtain a divorce legally on the ground that her husband was guilty of adultery, then she is free to be married to whom she chooses. {AH 344.3}[18]
§38
与不信的配偶离异——倘若妻子是一个不信和反对真理的人，就上帝的律法而论，丈夫仍不能单为这个原因而放弃她。为要符合耶和华的律法，除非她自动选择脱离，他必须仍然与她同居。他或许要遭受反对、压迫和种种的苦恼；但他必从那位能赐予恩惠以应付每一变故的上帝那里找到慰藉、力量和支持。他应该作一个居心纯洁，真正坚决恪守原则的人，这样，上帝就必赐给他智慧，使他知道应当采取怎样的方针。情感必不至控制他的理智，而理智反要牢牢地掌握控制权，使情欲各方面都受到约束。[19]
§39
Separation From an Unbelieving Companion.--If the wife is an unbeliever and an opposer, the husband cannot, in view of the law of God, put her away on this ground alone. In order to be in harmony with the law of Jehovah, he must abide with her unless she chooses of herself to depart. He may suffer opposition and be oppressed and annoyed in many ways; he will find his comfort and his strength and support from God, who is able to give grace for every emergency. He should be a man of pure mind, of truly decided, firm principles, and God will give him wisdom in regard to the course which he should pursue. Impulse will not control his reason, but reason will hold the lines of control in her firm hand, that lust shall be held under bit and bridle. {AH 344.4}[19]
§40
劝一位妻子改变性情而不改变婚姻关系——我曾经收到你丈夫的一封来信。我要说只有一件事可以让丈夫合法地离开妻子，或妻子合法的离开丈夫，那就是奸淫。[20]
§41
A Wife Urged to Change Disposition, Not the Marriage Status.--I have received a letter from your husband. I would say that there is only one thing for which a husband may lawfully separate from his wife or a wife from her husband, and that is adultery. {AH 345.1}[20]
§42
如果你们的性情并不相投，那么你们改变这些性情岂不就是荣耀上帝么？[21]
§43
If your dispositions are not congenial, would it not be for the glory of God for you to change these dispositions? {AH 345.2}[21]
§44
夫妻之间应当培养彼此相敬相爱的心。他们当谨慎自己的意气、言语和行为，以免在言行上令人激怒或烦恼。各人要互相照应，尽其所能地加强彼此之间的爱情。[22]
§45
A husband and wife should cultivate respect and affection for each other. They should guard the spirit, the words, and the actions so that nothing will be said or done to irritate or annoy. Each is to have a care for the other, doing all in their power to strengthen their mutual affection. {AH 345.3}[22]
§46
我奉劝你们二位都当寻求主。当本着爱心和仁慈克尽彼此之间的义务。丈夫当养成勤俭的习惯，尽其所能地维持全家的生活。这样就会使他的妻子尊重他了。[23]
§47
I tell you both to seek the Lord. In love and kindness do your duty one to the other. The husband should cultivate industrious habits, doing his best to support his family. This will lead his wife to have respect for him. . . . {AH 345.4}[23]
§48
我的姊妹，你若仍然保持你现在的态度，就不能得蒙上帝的喜悦。当宽恕你的丈夫。须知他是你的丈夫，你若竭力作一个忠顺尽责而且伉俪情深的妻子，就必得蒙福惠。但愿你舌上有仁慈的法则。你可能也必须改变你的态度。[24]
§49
My sister, you cannot please God by maintaining your present attitude. Forgive your husband. He is your husband, and you will be blessed in striving to be a dutiful, affectionate wife. Let the law of kindness be on your lips. You can and must change your attitude. {AH 345.5}[24]
§50
你们两人都必须研究如何方能彼此同化，而不致意见分歧。采取温和宽大的方式，就必在你们的生活中造成令人惊奇的改变。[25]
§51
You must both study how you can assimilate, instead of differing, with one another. . . . The use of mild, gentle methods will make a surprising difference in your lives. {AH 345.6}[25]
§52
离婚与教籍问题——关于受害的某某姊妹的事件，我们要如此答复某先生的问题，说：大凡像她丈夫这样为罪所胜之人的一个特征，就是他们并非真正觉察自己的恶行。虽然也有些人觉悟了，后来也恢复了教籍，但这必须等他们借着毫无保留地认罪，并经过一段真诚悔改的时期，从而获得了上帝子民的信任之后方可。这次事件颇有些不常遇见的困难，因此我们愿作如下的建议：[26]
§53
Adultery, Divorce, and Church Membership.--In regard to the case of the injured sister, A.G., we would say in reply to the questions of ----- that it is a feature in the cases of most who have been overtaken in sin, as her husband has, that they have no real sense of their villainy. Some, however, do and are restored to the church, but not till they have merited the confidence of the people of God by unqualified confessions and a period of sincere repentance. This case presents difficulties not found in some, and we would add only the following: {AH 346.1}[26]
§54
一、在有关干犯第七条诫命的事件中，如果犯罪的一方并无真诚悔改的表现，则受害的一方若不因离婚而使自己和子女——假若他们生有子女——的情形更为恶劣的话，他们就可以自由的离异。[27]
§55
1. In cases of the violation of the seventh commandment where the guilty party does not manifest true repentance, if the injured party can obtain a divorce without making their own cases and that of their children, if they have them, worse by so doing, they should be free. {AH 346.2}[27]
§56
二、倘若他们因为离婚而致使自己与子女的情形更为恶劣，则据我们所知道的，《圣经》并无明文说那清白的一方若仍与对方同居是有罪的。[28]
§57
2. If they would be liable to place themselves and their children in worse condition by a divorce, we know of no scripture that would make the innocent party guilty by remaining. {AH 346.3}[28]
§58
三、时间与勤勉，祈祷与忍耐，以及信心与敬虔的生活，或许能使人改过自新。须知与一个违背婚约，饱受有罪之恋爱的种种羞辱和惭愧而仍恬不知耻的人同居，固然有如侵蚀心灵的癌症一般；但离婚也终归是毕生难忘的痛苦。但愿上帝可怜那清白的一方！因此，在没有缔结婚约之前，应当予以审慎的考虑。[29]
§59
3. Time and labor and prayer and patience and faith and a godly life might work a reform. To live with one who has broken the marriage vows and is covered all over with the disgrace and shame of guilty love, and realizes it not, is an eating canker to the soul; and yet a divorce is a lifelong, heartfelt sore. God pity the innocent party! Marriage should be considered well before contracted. {AH 346.4}[29]
§60
四、唉！真不知道为何一般原应受人尊敬，有善良的行为，而且最后可能到达天国的男女，竟如此将自己贱卖给魔鬼，以至伤害自己的密友，贻羞自己的家属，玷污上帝的圣工，而终于使自己下到地狱里去呢？求上帝可怜吧！为什么那班为罪恶所胜的人不表现那与他们所犯大罪相称的悔改，奔向基督那里求怜悯，并尽其所能地治愈他们自己所造成的创伤呢？[30]
§61
4. Why! oh, why! will men and women who might be respectable and good and reach heaven at last sell themselves to the devil so cheap, wound their bosom friends, disgrace their families, bring a reproach upon the cause, and go to hell at last? God have mercy! Why will not those who are overtaken in crime manifest repentance proportionate to the enormity of their crime and fly to Christ for mercy and heal, as far as possible, the wounds they have made? {AH 346.5}[30]
§62
五，但是，如果他们不愿做应该做的，如果清白的一方放弃了离婚的合法权利，在对方的罪行暴露以后仍与他同住，那么我们看不出清白的一方留下来有什么罪过，如果她留下来不会大大危害她的健康和生命，她离开的道德权利似乎倒可置疑。（这是怀雅各和怀爱伦联名签署的极少声明之一。既是联名签署的，就表明其中所表达的观点是怀夫人充分认可的。——编者。）[31]
§63
5. But, if they will not do as they should, and if the innocent have forfeited the legal right to a divorce, by living with the guilty after his guilt is known, we do not see that sin rests upon the innocent in remaining, and her moral right in departing seems questionable, if her health and life be not greatly endangered in so remaining. [NOTE: THIS IS ONE OF THE VERY FEW STATEMENTS TO BE ISSUED JOINTLY BY JAMES AND ELLEN WHITE. INASMUCH AS IT WAS SIGNED BY BOTH, IT IS EVIDENT THAT THE VIEWS EXPRESSED HAD FULL SANCTION OF MRS. WHITE. IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT THE RESTORATION OF CHURCH MEMBERSHIP REFERRED TO IN THE INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH OF THE SECTION IS NOT AGAINST A BACKGROUND OF DIVORCE, BUT OF ADULTERY. THE PARAGRAPH MAKES NO REFERENCE WHATSOEVER TO DIVORCE. THE REFERENCES TO DIVORCE AND CHURCH MEMBERSHIP IN THE SUCCEEDING PARAGRAPHS RELATE, NOT TO THE OFFENDING HUSBAND, BUT TO THE OFFENDED WIFE AND HER CHURCH MEMBERSHIP SHOULD SHE DECIDE TO DIVORCE OR SHOULD SHE DECIDE TO REMAIN WITH HER HUSBAND.--COMPILERS.] {AH 347.1}[31]