第36章 与自己的儿女为伴
§1
第36章 与自己的儿女为伴
§2
Chap. 36 - A Companion With His Children
§3
用时间与儿女同聚——一般作父亲的都错过了许多黄金般的时机，不去吸引他的儿女，并将他们与他维系在一起。他从自己的业务中回到家里来，应该觉得用一部分时间与儿女同聚，乃是一种愉快的调剂。[1]
§4
Spend Time With Children.--The average father wastes many golden opportunities to attract and bind his children to him. Upon returning home from his business, he should find it a pleasant change to spend some time with his children. {AH 220.1}[1]
§5
作父亲的应当解除他矫饰的尊严，在他的时间和暇余的享受上，稍作若干自我牺牲的表现，俾与儿女相聚，同情他们小小的烦恼，用坚韧的慈绳爱索，将儿女系结于自己的心上，在他们正发育扩展的心志上确立这一种感化力：使他们视父亲的训诲为神圣的。[2]
§6
Fathers should unbend from their false dignity, deny themselves some slight self-gratification in time and leisure, in order to mingle with the children, sympathizing with them in their little troubles, binding them to their hearts by the strong bonds of love, and establishing such an influence over their expanding minds that their counsel will be regarded as sacred. {AH 220.2}[2]
§7
要特别关心男孩子——作男孩子父亲的人，应当和他的儿子们有亲密的联系，将他广博阅历的裨益分给他们，以简明而温和的言谈把他们系结在自己的心上。他应该使他们明白：他随时随地都关怀着他们的权益与幸福。[3]
§8
Take Special Interest in the Boys.--The father of boys should come into close contact with his sons, giving them the benefit of his larger experience and talking with them in such simplicity and tenderness that he binds them to his heart. He should let them see that he has their best interest, their happiness, in view all the time. {AH 220.3}[3]
§9
家里有男孩子的父亲必须明了这一点，无论他从事什么职业，也决不可忽略那交托他照顾的生灵。这些孩子原是他所生养的，因而他必须向上帝负责，要尽其所能地保守他们远离不圣洁的交际与邪恶的同伴。他不该撇下这些不安静的男孩子，完全交由母亲照管。这样的担子对她太沉重了。他必须为母亲和孩子们的益处着想而安排一切。也许在训练儿女的工作上，要母亲运用自制之力并明智地处理，乃是一件相当不容易的事。倘有这样的情形，作父亲的就应该在他的心灵上多承担这方面的重责。他应当决心以最坚毅的努力去拯救自己的孩子。[4]
§10
He who has a family of boys must understand that, whatever his calling, he is never to neglect the souls placed in his care. He has brought these children into the world and has made himself responsible to God to do everything in his power to keep them from unsanctified associations, from evil companionship. He should not leave his restless boys wholly to the care of the mother. This is too heavy a burden for her. He must arrange matters for the best interests of the mother and the children. It may be very hard for the mother to exercise self-control and to manage wisely in the training of her children. If this is the case, the father should take more of the burden upon his soul. He should be determined to make the most decided efforts to save his children. {AH 220.4}[4]
§11
训练儿女成有为之材——父亲既为自己一家之首，就当明了如何训练他的儿女成有为而尽责的人。这是他的特别工作，是比其他任何工作都重要的。儿童生活中最初几年陶冶其品性的责任，大半要由母亲负担；然而在这项工作上，她仍当感觉到孩子的父亲在与她合作。倘若他所从事的职业，几乎杜绝了他为家庭尽力的门径，那么他应当另找一份不妨碍他抽暇与儿女相聚的工作。他若疏忽了他们，就是不忠于上帝所交与他的委托。[5]
§12
Train Children for Usefulness.--The father, as the head of his own household, should understand how to train his children for usefulness and duty. This is his special work, above every other. During the first few years of a childs life the molding of the disposition is committed principally to the mother; but she should ever feel that in her work she has the co-operation of the father. If he is engaged in business which almost wholly closes the door of usefulness to his family, he should seek other employment which will not prevent him from devoting some time to his children. If he neglects them, he is unfaithful to the trust committed to him of God. {AH 221.1}[5]
§13
父亲可以对他的儿女发出一种比属世的诱惑更强的感化力来。他应当研究自己那个小圈子里每一分子的气质与品性，俾能了解他们的需要与危险，如此就可以预备妥当去抑恶扬善。[6]
§14
The father may exert an influence over his children which shall be stronger than the allurements of the world. He should study the disposition and character of the members of his little circle, that he may understand their needs and their dangers and thus be prepared to repress the wrong and encourage the right. {AH 221.2}[6]
§15
无论父亲所从事之职业的性质如何，决不会重要到这样的程度，甚至他疏忽了教训儿女遵行主道的工作，也可得蒙宽宥。[7]
§16
Whatever may be the character of his business, it is not of so great importance that he be excused in neglecting the work of educating and training his children to keep the way of the Lord. {AH 221.3}[7]
§17
要熟悉儿女不同的性格——父亲不宜专注于事业，或埋首于钻研书籍，以至没有时间研究他儿女的性格与需要。他应当协力计划，使他们忙于从事适合他们个别性格的有益的劳作。[8]
§18
Become Acquainted With Varied Dispositions.-- The father should not become so absorbed in business life or in the study of books that he cannot take time to study the natures and necessities of his children. He should help in devising ways by which they may be kept busy in useful labor agreeable to their varying dispositions. {AH 221.4}[8]
§19
父亲们哪，你们当尽可能多用时间与儿女同聚。要力求熟悉他们个别的性格，那么你们就可以知道如何照着上帝的圣言训练他们。你们的口中决不可说出一句沮丧的话语。不要把阴翳带到家中来。要以愉悦，和善，与亲爱对待你们的儿女，但绝不是愚昧地惯纵。要让他们尝受一点小小的失望，一如人人所必须经历的。不可鼓励他们为些许小事而到你们跟前来彼此控告。要教他们互相宽容，竭力保持彼此之间的信任与尊重。[9]
§20
Fathers, spend as much time as possible with your children. Seek to become acquainted with their various dispositions, that you may know how to train them in harmony with the word of God. Never should a word of discouragement pass your lips. Do not bring darkness into the home. Be pleasant, kind, and affectionate toward your children, but not foolishly indulgent. Let them bear their little disappointments, as every one must. Do not encourage them to come to you with their petty complaints of one another. Teach them to bear with one another and to seek to maintain each others confidence and respect. {AH 222.1}[9]
§21
陪同他们工作游戏——父亲们哪，要将亲爱的威权、恩慈和同情，与坚定不移的约束融合起来。要将你们的余暇抽出一部分来给你们的孩子；要熟悉他们；要陪他们一同工作一同游戏，以赢得他们的信赖。要和他们培养友谊，特别是和你们的儿子们。如此行，你们就必成为一股强大而为善的感化力了。[10]
§22
Associate With Them in Work and Sports.--Fathers, . . . combine affection with authority, kindness and sympathy with firm restraint. Give some of your leisure hours to your children; become acquainted with them; associate with them in their work and in their sports, and win their confidence. Cultivate friendship with them, especially with your sons. In this way you will be a strong influence for good. {AH 222.2}[10]
§23
以大自然为课本而教导他们——但愿作父亲的竭力减轻母亲的负担。但愿他指点儿女注意美丽的花卉，高大的树木，从其叶子上他们可以探索出上帝的作为与慈爱。他当教导他们明白这位创造万物的上帝是爱美爱善的。基督向他的门徒指出野地里的百合花和空中的飞鸟，显示上帝是怎样的眷护着它们，并以之作为一个凭证，表明他也必照顾世人，因为人类比花鸟更贵重。要告诉孩子们：无论消耗多少时间从事炫耀装饰，我们在外表上的温雅与华美，决无法与田野间最简单的花朵相比。这样就能将他们的心志从人造之物引向自然之物去了。他们就会明白上帝乃是将这一切美丽的事物赐给他们享受，而且他希望他们将心中至善至圣的爱献给他。[11]
§24
Teach Them Lessons From Nature.--Let the father seek to lighten the mothers task. . . . Let him point them to the beautiful flowers, the lofty trees, in whose very leaves they can trace the work and love of God. He should teach them that the God who made all these things loves the beautiful and the good. Christ pointed His disciples to the lilies of the field and the birds of the air, showing how God cares for them and presenting this as evidence that He will care for man, who is of higher consequence than birds or flowers. Tell the children that however much time may be wasted in attempts at display, our appearance can never compare, for grace and beauty, with that of the simplest flowers of the field. Thus their minds may be drawn from the artificial to the natural. They may learn that God has given them all these beautiful things to enjoy, and that He wants them to give Him the hearts best and holiest affections. {AH 222.3}[11]
§25
他可以领他们到花园里去，指点他们观看那初绽的嫩芽，和多采多姿的盛放的花朵。通过这许多媒介物，并将大自然的课本——其中一切树木花草都彰显着上帝之爱——在他们面前披展开来，他就可以把有关创造主的最重要的教训授予他们。他可以将这一事实铭记在他们的心版上：上帝既如此照顾树木花草，他也必更加眷佑一切按照他自己的形象而造的人类。他可以指引他们及早明白：上帝甚愿儿童们显得美丽可爱，不是借着人为的装饰，乃是由于具有品格上的优美，以及和善与亲爱的吸引力，而这些品质必使他们的心因充满喜乐与幸福而跳跃。[12]
§26
He may take them into the garden and show them the opening buds and the varied tints of the blooming flowers. Through such mediums he may give them the most important lessons concerning the Creator, by opening before them the great book of nature, where the love of God is expressed in every tree and flower and blade of grass. He may impress upon their minds the fact that if God cares so much for the trees and flowers, He will care much more for the creatures formed in His image. He may lead them early to understand that God wants children to be lovely, not with artificial adornment, but with beauty of character, the charms of kindness and affection, which will make their hearts bound with joy and happiness. {AH 223.1}[12]