第30章 家庭中的亲谊
§1
第30章 家庭中的亲谊
§2
Chap. 30 - Family Companionship
§3
父母当熟悉自己的儿女——有些父母并不了解他们的儿女，并不真正认识他们。在父母与子女之间，往往有着很大的距离。倘若父母们能更彻底地体察儿女的感受，探求他们心中的实情，这样在他们身上必发生良好的感化作用。[1]
§4
Parents to Become Acquainted With Children.-- Some parents do not understand their children and are not really acquainted with them. There is often a great distance between parents and children. If the parents would enter more fully into the feelings of their children and draw out what is in their hearts, it would have a beneficial influence upon them. {AH 190.1}[1]
§5
父母二人必须同心同德，协力合作。他们必须使自己成为儿女的友伴。[2]
§6
The father and the mother should work together in full sympathy with each other. They should make themselves companions to their children. {AH 190.2}[2]
§7
父母都当求取最良好最成功的方式，以赢得儿女的敬爱与信任，俾能引领儿女行走正道。他们应该将爱的阳光反照于家人身上。[3]
§8
Parents should study the best and most successful manner of winning the love and confidence of their children, that they may lead them in the right path. They should reflect the sunshine of love upon the household. {AH 190.3}[3]
§9
鼓励与赞许——年轻的孩子都喜爱合群，很少懂得享受独居之乐。他们渴望同情与温和。他们以为自己所爱好的，母亲也必爱好，因此他们自然而然就将自己小小的喜乐与忧愁一一告诉母亲。在母亲看来虽然是些无足轻重，而在孩子的眼中却是异常重要的事，母亲不该等闲视之，以免伤害了他们敏感的小心灵。她的同情与赞许是极其宝贵的。满含嘉奖的一瞥，带有鼓励或称赞的一句话语，在他们的心中犹如阳光一般，往往会使他们整天快乐。[4]
§10
Encouragement and Commendation.--Young children love companionship and can seldom enjoy themselves alone. They yearn for sympathy and tenderness. That which they enjoy they think will please mother also, and it is natural for them to go to her with their little joys and sorrows. The mother should not wound their sensitive hearts by treating with indifference matters that, though trifling to her, are of great importance to them. Her sympathy and approval are precious. An approving glance, a word of encouragement or commendation, will be like sunshine in their hearts, often making the whole day happy. {AH 190.4}[4]
§11
父母要作儿女的心腹之交——父母应当鼓励自己的儿女信任他们，将心中的忧愁和日常小小的困扰及试炼，全都向父母倾吐出来。[5]
§12
Parents to Be Childs Confidants.--Parents should encourage their children to confide in them and unburden to them their heart griefs, their little daily annoyances and trials. {AH 190.5}[5]
§13
要慈祥地教导他们，将他们系结在自己的心上。现今正是儿女存亡攸关的重要时刻。他们四周有许多影响力，足以诱使他们远离你们，这是你们必须加以抗御的。要教他们以父母为心腹之交。要让他们在你们耳边轻声诉说他们的试炼与喜乐。[6]
§14
Kindly instruct them and bind them to your hearts. It is a critical time for children. Influences will be thrown around them to wean them from you which you must counteract. Teach them to make you their confidant. Let them whisper in your ear their trials and joys. {AH 191.1}[6]
§15
儿女们若与父母更加亲密，就可以救他们脱离许多邪恶。为父母的应当鼓励儿女与他们坦诚相见，遭遇困难时就去找他们，或者在彷徨歧途，不知何为正道之时，就到双亲面前去，将这事陈明，请求他们的指导。还有什么人比敬畏上帝的父母更能看明并指出儿女的危险来呢？还有什么人比他们更了解他们自己儿女特殊的气质呢？母亲既从襁褓之中就能观察她儿女心意的每一趋向，因而洞悉他们的天性，自然是他们最好的指导人。请问世上还有什么人能像母亲那样，再加上父亲的帮助，更清楚儿女的品性上有哪些必须予以约制的特质呢？[7]
§16
Children would be saved from many evils if they would be more familiar with their parents. Parents should encourage in their children a disposition to be open and frank with them, to come to them with their difficulties and, when they are perplexed as to what course is right, to lay the matter just as they view it before the parents and ask their advice. Who are so well calculated to see and point out their dangers as godly parents? Who can understand the peculiar temperaments of their own children as well as they? The mother who has watched every turn of the mind from infancy, and is thus acquainted with the natural disposition, is best prepared to counsel her children. Who can tell as well what traits of character to check and restrain as the mother, aided by the father? {AH 191.2}[7]
§17
“没有工夫”——父亲说：“没有工夫，我简直抽不出一点工夫来教导我的儿女，甚至我没有工夫一享天伦之乐。”若然，你就不应该负起家庭的责任。你既然吝于给予孩子们所应分享有的时间，就等于剥夺了他们在你手中所该领受的教育。你若有儿女，就有一分当作之工，要与作母亲的协力合作培养他们的品格。[8]
§18
No Time.--No time, says the father; I have no time to give to the training of my children, no time for social and domestic enjoyments. Then you should not have taken upon yourself the responsibility of a family. By withholding from them the time which is justly theirs, you rob them of the education which they should have at your hands. If you have children, you have a work to do, in union with the mother, in the formation of their characters. {AH 191.3}[8]
§19
有许多母亲们叹息道：“我简直没有工夫和我的儿女在一起。”既然如此，我奉基督的名劝你，少用时间去注意你的衣着。你可以疏于打扮自己。你可以疏于接待或邀约朋友。甚至你可以忽略烹调许多种样式的食物，但是你千万不可忽略了你自己的子女。糠秕怎能与麦子相比呢？切勿让任何事物介于你与孩子们的至佳福利之间。[9]
§20
It is the cry of many mothers: I have no time to be with my children. Then for Christs sake spend less time on your dress. Neglect if you will to adorn your apparel. Neglect to receive and make calls. Neglect to cook an endless variety of dishes. But never, never neglect your children. What is the chaff to the wheat? Let nothing interpose between you and the best interests of your children. {AH 191.4}[9]
§21
由于积压了许多的挂虑，有时候母亲们感觉不能再用时间来耐心教导自己的孩子，给予他们爱与同情了。但是她们应该记住：儿女在家庭之中和双亲膝下，若得不到那能使他们满足的同情与亲谊，他们就会转向别的地方去寻求，以至心志与品格都可能陷于危殆之境。[10]
§22
Burdened with many cares, mothers sometimes feel that they cannot take time patiently to instruct their little ones and give them love and sympathy. But they should remember that if the children do not find in their parents and in their home that which will satisfy their desire for sympathy and companionship, they will look to other sources, where both mind and character may be endangered. {AH 192.1}[10]
§23
与儿女同工同游——要将你的余暇分一部分给你们的儿女，参与他们的工作和游戏，借此赢得他们的信任。要培养他们的友谊。[11]
§24
With Your Children in Work and Play.--Give some of your leisure hours to your children; associate with them in their work and in their sports, and win their confidence. Cultivate their friendship. {AH 192.2}[11]
§25
但愿父母把晚上的时间都用在家中。要将一切挂虑和困惑，与当天的劳作一同放下。劝告过分保守而专制的父母——父母和教师都有一种危险，就是他们命令太多，过于专制，而他们与自己的儿女或学生之间并未建立良好的社交关系。他们往往过分保守，以冷酷无情而不能赢得儿女与学生敬爱的态度，运用他们的权威。他们若肯与儿童们取得亲密的联络，表示疼爱他们，并关心他们的一切努力，以及他们的游戏，有时更不妨在孩子中间作个孩子，这样，就必使孩子们异常快乐，不但获致了他们的爱，也博得了他们的信任。而儿童对于他们父母和教师的权威，就会立即表示尊重和敬爱了。[12]
§26
Let parents devote the evenings to their families. Lay off care and perplexity with the labors of the day. {AH 192.3}[12]
§27
邪恶的同伴是家庭的大敌——撒但和他的爪牙正在尽最大的努力，想动摇儿童们的心志，故此必须以无私的，基督化的温慈与爱心对待他们。这样必使你们在他们身上生发一种强大的感化力，而且他们必觉得可以毫无保留地完全信赖你们。当以家庭中的天伦之乐和你们的交谊来环护你们的儿女。你们若如此作，必能减少他们与年轻同伴交游的愿望。由于今日横行于世的邪恶，对他们实有加以管束的必要，作父母的应当加倍努力，设法使儿女们的心与他们联结起来，并使他们看出父母是唯愿儿女们快乐的。[13]
§28
Counsel to Reserved, Dictatorial Parents.--There is danger of both parents and teachers commanding and dictating too much, while they fail to come sufficiently into social relation with their children or scholars. They often hold themselves too much reserved and exercise their authority in a cold, unsympathizing manner which cannot win the hearts of their children and pupils. If they would gather the children close to them and show that they love them, and would manifest an interest in all their efforts and even in their sports, sometimes even being a child among children, they would make the children very happy and would gain their love and win their confidence. And the children would sooner respect and love the authority of their parents and teachers. {AH 192.4}[13]
§29
父母当熟悉自己的儿女——勿容冷漠与隐讳的障碍在父母与儿女之间兴起。但愿父母们都熟悉自己的儿女，尽力了解他们的爱好与个性，体察他们的感受，使他们肯披肝沥胆地倾吐隐衷。[14]
§30
Evil Associates as Competitors of the Home.--Satan and his host are making most powerful efforts to sway the minds of the children, and they must be treated with candor, Christian tenderness, and love. This will give you a strong influence over them, and they will feel that they can repose unlimited confidence in you. Throw around your children the charms of home and of your society. If you do this, they will not have so much desire for the society of young associates. . . . Because of the evils now in the world, and the restriction necessary to be placed upon the children, parents should have double care to bind them to their hearts and let them see that they wish to make them happy. {AH 193.1}[14]
§31
父母们哪，要让你们的儿女明白你们是爱他们的，并愿尽一切力量使他们快乐。你们若如此作，则你们加于他们幼稚心志上的必需的管束也就更有分量了。要以温柔而亲切的心来教养儿女，要记住：“他们的使者在天上常见我父的面。”你们若希望天使在你们儿女身上成就上帝所委派他们的工作，就当尽你们的本分与他们通力合作。[15]
§32
Parents to Be Acquainted With Their Children.-- No barrier of coldness and reserve should be allowed to arise between parents and children. Let parents become acquainted with their children, seeking to understand their tastes and dispositions, entering into their feelings, and drawing out what is in their hearts. {AH 193.2}[15]
§33
在一个真诚家庭的明智而仁慈之教导下成长的孩子，决无意离家流荡，去寻求快乐与情谊。罪恶也不足以引诱他们。洋溢于家庭中的气氛必陶冶他们的品性；他们所养成的习惯和采取的原则，必在他们离家处世之时，成为抗御试探的坚固保障。[16]
§34
Parents, let your children see that you love them and will do all in your power to make them happy. If you do so, your necessary restrictions will have far greater weight in their young minds. Rule your children with tenderness and compassion, remembering that their angels do always behold the face of My Father which is in heaven. If you desire the angels to do for your children the work given them of God, co-operate with them by doing your part. {AH 193.3}[16]