第18章 婚姻的义务与权利
§1
第18章 婚姻的义务与权利
§2
Chap. 18 - Marital Duties and Privileges
§3
耶稣并不厉行独身主义——凡视婚姻关系为上帝的神圣仪节之一，且被他圣洁的律法所维护的人，必为理性的指令所管束。[1]
§4
Jesus Did Not Enforce Celibacy.--Those who regard the marriage relation as one of Gods sacred ordinances, guarded by His holy precept, will be controlled by the dictates of reason. {AH 121.1}[1]
§5
耶稣并未强迫任何一等人实行独身主义。他来不是要废除婚姻的神圣关系，乃是要提拔它，使之恢复原有的神圣性。他欣慰地注视着那以神圣无私之爱为主的家庭关系。[2]
§6
Jesus did not enforce celibacy upon any class of men. He came not to destroy the sacred relationship of marriage, but to exalt it and restore it to its original sanctity. He looks with pleasure upon the family relationship where sacred and unselfish love bears sway. {AH 121.2}[2]
§7
婚姻是合法而圣洁的——吃、喝、嫁、娶，就事情的本身而论，并不是罪。在挪亚的时代，嫁娶是合法的，直到现在也是合法的，只要处置得当，不犯过事铺张的弊病就可以了。但是，在挪亚的时代，人们嫁娶都不先求问于上帝，或寻求他的指导与教训。[3]
§8
Marriage Is Lawful and Holy.--There is in itself no sin in eating and drinking, or in marrying and giving in marriage. It was lawful to marry in the time of Noah, and it is lawful to marry now, if that which is lawful is properly treated and not carried to sinful excess. But in the days of Noah men married without consulting God or seeking His guidance and counsel. . . . {AH 121.3}[3]
§9
人生的一切关系都含有变幻无常的性质，此一事实，对于我们所有的言行，应具有一种矫正的影响力。在挪亚的时代，由于放纵而过度贪爱那若用得适当原是合法的事，以至在上帝面前连嫁娶也成为罪恶了。在现今这个世代，无数的人由于过分专注于嫁娶之念，以及婚姻本身的关系，因而丧失了他们的灵命。[4]
§10
The fact that all the relations of life are of a transitory nature should have a modifying influence on all we do and say. In Noahs day it was the inordinate, excessive love of that which in itself was lawful, when properly used, that made marriage sinful before God. There are many who are losing their souls in this age of the world by becoming absorbed in the thoughts of marriage and in the marriage relation itself. {AH 121.4}[4]
§11
婚姻关系原是圣洁的，但在这败坏的世代中，它却遮掩了各样的罪污。它被滥用而成为罪行，成为末日的预兆之一，犹如洪水之前的嫁娶情形一样的有罪。当婚姻的神圣性及其要求尽都了解了，那么它现在仍能蒙上天的嘉许，而结果配偶双方均可蒙福，上帝也必得着荣耀。[5]
§12
The marriage relation is holy, but in this degenerate age it covers vileness of every description. It is abused and has become a crime which now constitutes one of the signs of the last days, even as marriages, managed as they were previous to the Flood, were then a crime. . . . When the sacred nature and the claims of marriage are understood, it will even now be approved of Heaven; and the result will be happiness to both parties, and God will be glorified. {AH 121.5}[5]
§13
婚姻关系的权利——凡自称为基督徒的，务须仔细考虑婚姻关系中的每一项权利所有的后果，而神圣的原则应当作为每一项行动的依据。[6]
§14
The Privileges of the Marriage Relation.--Those professing to be Christians . . . should duly consider the result of every privilege [NOTE: ON ANOTHER OCCASION MRS. WHITE SPEAKS OF THE PRIVACY AND PRIVILEGES OF THE FAMILY RELATION. SEE TESTIMONIES, VOL. 2, P. 90.--COMPILERS.] of the marriage relation, and sanctified principle should be the basis of every action. {AH 122.1}[6]
§15
在许多实例中，作父母的滥用了婚姻的权利，并因放纵而助长了他们的兽欲。[7]
§16
In very many cases the parents . . . have abused their marriage privileges, and by indulgence have strengthened their animal passions. {AH 122.2}[7]
§17
过犹不及——合法的事，因行得过度便成为严重的罪恶。[8]
§18
Duty to Avoid Excesses.--It is carrying that which is lawful to excess that makes it a grievous sin. {AH 122.3}[8]
§19
有许多作父母的，并没有婚姻生活所应有的知识。他们毫不加以防范，以免撒但乘机控制他们的心意与生活。他们也没有看明上帝要求他们约束其婚后生活，以免有放纵之弊。可是只有极少数的人觉得控制自己的情欲，也是宗教的本分之一。他们既与自己所选择的对象结了婚，就借着婚姻的关系来圣化其放纵卑劣情欲的恶行。甚至自命虔诚的男女也任意纵欲，毫不顾及上帝必要他们为耗损精力，以至缩短寿命，败坏整个身体的行为负责。[9]
§20
Many parents do not obtain the knowledge that they should in the married life. They are not guarded lest Satan take advantage of them and control their minds and their lives. They do not see that God requires them to control their married lives from any excesses. But very few feel it to be a religious duty to govern their passions. They have united themselves in marriage to the object of their choice and, therefore, reason that marriage sanctifies the indulgence of the baser passions. Even men and women professing godliness give loose rein to their lustful passions and have no thought that God holds them accountable for the expenditure of vital energy, which weakens their hold on life and enervates the entire system. {AH 122.4}[9]
§21
以克己节制为座右铭——唉，唯愿我能使众人明白，他们在上帝面前都有本分，要摄护心身的官能于最佳的状况中，俾为他们创造主呈献完美的服务！但愿基督化的妻子务要约束言语和行为，以免煽动丈夫的兽欲。很多人在这方面都没有多余的精力可以虚耗的了。他们从少壮时代起，就放纵兽欲，以至削弱了脑力，损害了体质。克己节制应当作为他们婚姻生活中的座右铭。[10]
§22
Let Self-denial and Temperance Be the Watchword. --Oh, that I could make all understand their obligation to God to preserve the mental and physical organism in the best condition to render perfect service to their Maker! Let the Christian wife refrain, both in word and act, from exciting the animal passions of her husband. Many have no strength at all to waste in this direction. From their youth up they have weakened the brain and sapped the constitution by the gratification of animal passions. Self-denial and temperance should be the watchword in their married life. {AH 123.1}[10]
§23
我们对上帝都负有严肃的责任，要保持心灵的纯洁与身体的健康，俾能造福人群，且为上帝献上完美的服务。使徒曾发出警戒的话说：“所以不要容罪在你们必死的身子上作主，使你们顺从身子的私欲。”他又勉励我们前进，告诉我们：“凡较力争胜的，诸事都有节制。”他劝导凡自称为基督徒的，要将自己的身体献上，“当作活祭，是圣洁的，是上帝所喜悦的。”他说：“我是攻克己身，叫身服我；恐怕我传福音给别人，自己反被弃绝了。”[11]
§24
We are under solemn obligations to God to keep the spirit pure and the body healthy, that we may be a benefit to humanity and render to God perfect service. The apostle utters these words of warning: Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. He urges us onward by telling us that every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. He exhorts all who call themselves Christians to present their bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God. He says: I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. {AH 123.2}[11]
§25
那激动人把自己的妻子当作泄欲之工具的，并不是纯洁的爱。叫人放纵的，乃是兽欲。按照使徒所提示的方式：“正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己……（不是要玷污教会，乃要把教会洗净，成为圣洁；……乃是圣洁没有瑕疵的）”这样表现他们爱情的人是何其少啊！在婚姻关系中，这种性质的爱才是上帝所视为圣洁的。爱原是一种纯洁神圣的原理，而肉体的情欲却不服约束，也不受理性的控制和管辖。它盲目不顾结局；也不推究因果。[12]
§26
It is not pure love which actuates a man to make his wife an instrument to minister to his lust. It is the animal passions which clamor for indulgence. How few men show their love in the manner specified by the apostle: Even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might [not pollute it, but] sanctify and cleanse it; . . . that it should be holy and without blemish. This is the quality of love in the marriage relation which God recognizes as holy. Love is a pure and holy principle, but lustful passion will not admit of restraint and will not be dictated to or controlled by reason. It is blind to consequences; it will not reason from cause to effect. {AH 123.3}[12]
§27
撒但为何力图削弱人的自制力——撒但企图使凡成立婚姻关系的人降低纯洁的标准，并削弱自制的能力，因为他知道当卑劣的情欲占优势之时，道德的能力必逐渐减弱，他就无需担心他们的灵性会有什么长进了。他也知道再没有其他的方法，更能将他可憎的形象印在他们子孙的身上，而借此他便能任意塑造他们的品格，较比塑造他们父母的品格更容易得多了。[13]
§28
Why Satan Seeks to Weaken Self-control.--Satan seeks to lower the standard of purity and to weaken the self-control of those who enter the marriage relation, because he knows that while the baser passions are in the ascendancy, the moral powers grow steadily weaker, and he need have no concern as to their spiritual growth. He knows, too, that in no way can he better stamp his own hateful image upon their offspring, and that he can thus mold their character even more readily than he can the character of the parents. {AH 124.1}[13]
§29
纵欲的后果——男女们啊，你们终有一天会明白何谓肉欲，以及满足肉欲有何后果。有时在婚姻关系之内所发现的情欲，其性质之卑劣，实与婚姻关系之外的毫无二致。[14]
§30
Results of Excesses.--Men and women, you will one day learn what is lust and the result of its gratification. Passion of just as base a quality may be found in the marriage relation as outside of it. {AH 124.2}[14]
§31
放纵卑劣情欲的后果是什么呢？寝室，原为上帝的天使主掌之地，却由于不圣洁的恶习而成为不圣洁了。又因可耻的兽欲主义支配一切，身体便日趋衰败，可憎的恶习招来了可憎的疾患。上帝原来作为一种福惠而赐予的，却变成了一项咒诅。[15]
§32
What is the result of giving loose rein to the lower passions? . . . The bedchamber, where angels of God should preside, is made unholy by unholy practices. And because shameful animalism rules, bodies are corrupted; loathsome practices lead to loathsome diseases. That which God has given as a blessing is made a curse. {AH 124.3}[15]
§33
纵欲过度，必有效地消灭了爱慕敬虔活动之心，夺去了保养身体所必需的脑力，并且最能耗损人的精力。任何妇女，都不应当协助她的丈夫作这种自我戕贼之举。她若是贤明而真正爱他的话，决不会如此行。[16]
§34
Sexual excess will effectually destroy a love for devotional exercises, will take from the brain the substance needed to nourish the system, and will most effectively exhaust the vitality. No woman should aid her husband in this work of self-destruction. She will not do it if she is enlightened and has true love for him. {AH 124.4}[16]
§35
兽欲必愈纵愈烈，必愈加喧嚷着要求放纵。但愿敬畏上帝的男女觉悟自己的本分。许多自称为基督徒的人，由于在这方面没有节制，因而神经与头脑遭受麻痹之苦。[17]
§36
The more the animal passions are indulged, the stronger do they become, and the more violent will be their clamors for indulgence. Let God-fearing men and women awake to their duty. Many professed Christians are suffering with paralysis of nerve and brain because of their intemperance in this direction. {AH 124.5}[17]
§37
丈夫要体谅——作丈夫的务须谨慎、殷勤、恒忍、忠实而又体贴。他们应显出爱心与同情来。他们若履行了基督的圣言，他们的爱就不会带有低劣、属世、耽于肉欲的品质，而使自身趋于败坏，也使妻子体弱多病了。他们就不会一面放纵卑劣的情欲，而一面在他们妻子的耳边嘀咕着应该凡事顺服丈夫了。当那作丈夫的有了每一位真基督徒所必具之高尚的品格、清洁的心灵和卓越的心志时，这一切就都必在他们的婚姻生活中显示出来。他若以基督的心为心，就不会变成身体的戕害者，却要满怀温柔的爱，在基督里面竭力达到那最崇高的标准。[18]
§38
Husbands to Be Considerate.--Husbands should be careful, attentive, constant, faithful, and compassionate. They should manifest love and sympathy. If they fulfill the words of Christ, their love will not be of a base, earthly, sensual character that will lead to the destruction of their own bodies and bring upon their wives debility and disease. They will not indulge in the gratification of base passions, while ringing in the ears of their wives that they must be subject to the husband in everything. When the husband has the nobility of character, purity of heart, elevation of mind that every true Christian must possess, it will be made manifest in the marriage relation. If he has the mind of Christ, he will not be a destroyer of the body, but will be full of tender love, seeking to reach the highest standard in Christ. {AH 125.1}[18]
§39
当猜疑侵入之时——没有一个男子会真心爱他的妻子，假若他的妻子一味忍让地屈从他，作他的奴隶，满足他卑劣的情欲。在这种默从的顺服之下，她就要在她丈夫眼中失去已往贵重的身份。他既看出她在一切事上都从高尚的地步降为下流，不久他就猜疑她也会毫不抗拒地容让别人来污辱她。好像对他所作的一样。他便要怀疑她的贞操和纯洁，对她厌倦，转而寻找新的对象以激发并餍足他像地狱般的欲火。上帝的律法不被尊重了。这等人比禽兽更坏，他们只是徒具人形的恶魔。他们不知道真诚圣洁之爱的高尚尊贵的原则为何物。[19]
§40
When Doubts Creep In.--No man can truly love his wife when she will patiently submit to become his slave and minister to his depraved passions. In her passive submission she loses the value she once possessed in his eyes. He sees her dragged down from everything elevating to a low level, and soon he suspects that she will as tamely submit to be degraded by another as by himself. He doubts her constancy and purity, tires of her, and seeks new objects to arouse and intensify his hellish passions. The law of God is not regarded. These men are worse than brutes; they are demons in human form. They are unacquainted with the elevating, ennobling principles of true, sanctified love. {AH 125.2}[19]
§41
妻子也同样猜忌丈夫，唯恐一有机会他就会向别的女人献媚，好像对她一样。她看出他并没有受良知或敬畏上帝之心所约束；这一切神圣的藩篱都已被肉体的情欲所破坏；在丈夫身上一切肖似上帝的品性，都成为卑劣如禽兽般的情欲的奴隶了。[20]
§42
The wife also becomes jealous of the husband and suspects that if opportunity should offer, he would just as readily pay his addresses to another as to her. She sees that he is not controlled by conscience or the fear of God; all these sanctified barriers are broken down by lustful passions; all that is Godlike in the husband is made the servant of low, brutish lust. {AH 126.1}[20]
§43
无理要求的骚扰——现在所亟待解决的问题乃是：当妻子发现她的丈夫完全被卑劣的情欲所支配，而且她的理智和判断力都指示她，如果这样行，便会摧残自己的身体，就是上帝嘱咐她要将之维持圣洁尊贵，当作活祭而献与他的，这时，她应否觉得有绝对盲从她丈夫之要求的义务呢？[21]
§44
The Problem of Unreasonable Demands.--The matter now to be settled is: Shall the wife feel bound to yield implicitly to the demands of her husband when she sees that nothing but base passions control him, and when her reason and judgment are convinced that she does it to the injury of her body, which God has enjoined upon her to possess in sanctification and honor, to preserve as a living sacrifice to God? {AH 126.2}[21]
§45
导使妻子牺牲她的健康和生命，以满足她丈夫兽欲的，决不是纯洁神圣的爱。她若有真实的爱情和智慧，就必尽力设法转移他图求餍足肉欲的心思，使之趋向高超的属灵的题旨，专注于那有兴趣的属灵事物。即或冒着使他不悦的危险，也许她仍然必须谦卑而满有爱心地向他劝说，她不能依从恣纵的性欲而贬损自己的身子。她应当以温婉亲切的态度提醒丈夫，上帝对于她的整个身子，有优先而最崇高的要求，而她不能忽视这要求，因为她在上帝的大日要为此交帐的。[22]
§46
It is not pure, holy love which leads the wife to gratify the animal propensities of her husband at the expense of health and life. If she possesses true love and wisdom, she will seek to divert his mind from the gratification of lustful passions to high and spiritual themes by dwelling upon interesting spiritual subjects. It may be necessary to humbly and affectionately urge, even at the risk of his displeasure, that she cannot debase her body by yielding to sexual excess. She should, in a tender, kind manner, remind him that God has the first and highest claim upon her entire being, and that she cannot disregard this claim, for she will be held accountable in the great day of God.... {AH 126.3}[22]
§47
她若使她的爱情升华，以圣洁尊贵保守自己优雅的女性尊严，妇女便能有效地借着贤淑的感化力使她的丈夫圣化，因而达成她崇高的使命。她这样行，便能一举两得，使她的丈夫和自己一同得救。在这件微妙而又极难处置的事上，最需要极大的智慧和容忍，正如需要道德的勇气和毅力一般。从祈祷之中可以寻到能力和恩典。真诚的爱应当作为主宰心灵的原则。唯有对上帝的爱和对丈夫的爱，才能作为一切行动的正当基础。[23]
§48
If she will elevate her affections, and in sanctification and honor preserve her refined, womanly dignity, woman can do much by her judicious influence to sanctify her husband, and thus fulfill her high mission. In so doing she can save both her husband and herself, thus performing a double work. In this matter, so delicate and so difficult to manage, much wisdom and patience are necessary, as well as moral courage and fortitude. Strength and grace can be found in prayer. Sincere love is to be the ruling principle of the heart. Love to God and love to the husband can alone be the right ground of action. . . . {AH 126.4}[23]
§49
当妻子将身心都交给她的丈夫控制，凡事完全屈从他的意愿，牺牲自己的良知、尊严，甚至自己的个性时，她就丧失了发挥她原应有的，拔擢丈夫为善之伟大感化力的良机。她原能软化他刚硬的性情，而且她圣善的感化力也原能发挥出高雅与清洁的效果，使他竭力控制自己的情欲，而更加具有属灵的心意，于是二人都可能与上帝的性情有分，得以脱离世上从情欲来的败坏，感化力可能强大到足以引导思想趋向高尚尊贵的题旨，超乎那未蒙恩典更新之心所自然追求的卑劣的肉欲放纵之上。当兽欲成为丈夫之爱的主要成分，并支配他的一切行动时，妻子若为博取丈夫的欢心而觉得必须降至他的标准，她就使上帝不悦了；因为她已经失败了，没有在丈夫身上发挥成圣的感化力。她若觉得必须顺从他的兽欲，而不发一言忠告，那就是她还不明白自己对于他或对于上帝所有的本分。[24]
§50
When the wife yields her body and mind to the control of her husband, being passive to his will in all things, sacrificing her conscience, her dignity, and even her identity, she loses the opportunity of exerting that mighty influence for good which she should possess to elevate her husband. She could soften his stern nature, and her sanctifying influence could be exerted in a manner to refine and purify, leading him to strive earnestly to govern his passions and be more spiritually minded, that they might be partakers together of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. The power of influence can be great to lead the mind to high and noble themes, above the low, sensual indulgences for which the heart unrenewed by grace naturally seeks. If the wife feels that in order to please her husband she must come down to his standard, when animal passion is the principal basis of his love and controls his actions, she displeases God; for she fails to exert a sanctifying influence upon her husband. If she feels that she must submit to his animal passions without a word of remonstrance, she does not understand her duty to him nor to her God. {AH 127.1}[24]
§51
我们的身子乃是买来的产业——卑劣的情欲都潜伏于肉体之内，并借着肉体而进行其工作。所谓“肉体”，或“肉体的”，或“肉体的情欲”，都含有卑劣败坏的性质；肉体本身是不能违抗上帝的旨意而行的。我们已奉命要将肉体连同一切邪情私欲都钉在十字架上。我们当如何作这件事呢？我们是否要刻苦己身呢？不，乃要将犯罪的试探置诸死地。败坏的思想必须根除净尽。将所有的心意夺回，使之顺服耶稣基督。一切兽性的倾向必须归从心灵更高的权力。爱上帝的心必须完全作主，基督必须独自登上完整的宝座。我们的身体，当视为他所赎回的产业。全身百体都应作义的器具献给上帝。[25]
§52
Our Bodies a Purchased Possession.--The lower passions have their seat in the body and work through it. The words flesh or fleshly or carnal lusts embrace the lower, corrupt nature; the flesh of itself cannot act contrary to the will of God. We are commanded to crucify the flesh, with the affections and lusts. How shall we do it? Shall we inflict pain on the body? No; but put to death the temptation to sin. The corrupt thought is to be expelled. Every thought is to be brought into captivity to Jesus Christ. All animal propensities are to be subjected to the higher powers of the soul. The love of God must reign supreme; Christ must occupy an undivided throne. Our bodies are to be regarded as His purchased possession. The members of the body are to become the instruments of righteousness. {AH 127.2}[25]