第17章 双方的义务
§1
第17章 双方的义务
§2
Chap. 17 - Mutual Obligations
§3
各有其责——结为终身伴侣的人，双方各有特殊的品性与个别的责任。他或她各有各的工作，不过妇女所有的价值，却不可以她们能作多少劳工，如牲畜能负多少重荷般加以估评。妻子当尽妻子之分，加惠于家人，作她明智之丈夫的佳偶。每作一事，她当自问：“这是否合乎真实妇女的标准呢？”以及：“如何才能使我的感化力在我家中成为基督化呢？”作丈夫的应当使他的妻子知道：他十分感佩她的工作。[1]
§4
Each Has Individual Responsibilities.--The two who unite their interest in life will have distinct characteristics and individual responsibilities. Each one will have his or her work, but women are not to be valued by the amount of work they can do as are beasts of burden. The wife is to grace the family circle as a wife and companion to a wise husband. At every step she should inquire, Is this the standard of true womanhood? and, How shall I make may influence Christlike in my home? The husband should let his wife know that he appreciates her work. {AH 114.1}[1]
§5
妻子当尊敬她的丈夫，丈夫当爱护并珍重他的妻子。他两既因婚姻的盟约结为一体，也当因信基督而在他里面联合为一。还有什么比得见那缔结婚姻关系的人力求学像耶稣，且愈来愈被他的圣灵所充满，更能蒙上帝喜悦的事呢？[2]
§6
The wife is to respect her husband. The husband is to love and cherish his wife; and as their marriage vow unites them as one, so their belief in Christ should make them one in Him. What can be more pleasing to God than to see those who enter into the marriage relation seek together to learn of Jesus and to become more and more imbued with His Spirit? {AH 114.2}[2]
§7
现今你们有些当尽的义务，乃是你们婚前所没有的。“要存……恩慈、谦虚、温柔、忍耐的心。”“也要凭爱心行事，正如基督爱我们。”你们当仔细研究以下的训勉：“你们作妻子的，当顺服自己的丈夫，如同顺服主。因为丈夫是妻子的头，如同基督是教会的头。教会怎样顺服基督，妻子也要怎样凡事顺服丈夫。你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己。”[3]
§8
You now have duties to perform that before your marriage you did not have. Put on therefore, . . . kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering. Walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us. Give careful study to the following instruction: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. . . . Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it. {AH 114.3}[3]
§9
上帝给夏娃的训言——上帝告诉夏娃，今后她命里必要多受忧愁痛苦。上帝说：“你必恋慕你丈夫，你丈夫必管辖你。”但在起初创造人的时候，上帝原是令她和丈夫两下平等的。如果他们常常顺服上帝——合乎他伟大仁爱的律法——他们就会永远彼此平等和睦相处；然而罪带来了不和谐的气氛，如今要维持结合，保持协调，必须使一方面服从于另一方面的辖制了。夏娃是第一个带头犯罪者，她违背了上帝的命令，离开丈夫的左右而陷入了试探中。又因她教唆亚当也犯了罪，所以上帝使她从今以后要受丈夫的管辖。倘若堕落的人类服从了这针对着犯罪所作的判决，并将上帝律法的原则存在心内，这判决就是他们的福气；可是作丈夫的常常滥用给他的至大权力，以至使妇女的命运更苦，叫她们的生活成为重累了。[4]
§10
Gods Instruction to Eve.--Eve was told of the sorrow and pain that must henceforth be her portion. And the Lord said, Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. In the creation, God had made her the equal of Adam. Had they remained obedient to God--in harmony with His great law of love--they would ever have been in harmony with each other; but sin had brought discord, and now their union could be maintained and harmony preserved only by submission on the part of the one or the other. Eve had been the first in transgression; and she had fallen into temptation by separating from her companion, contrary to the divine direction. It was by her solicitation that Adam sinned, and she was now placed in subjection to her husband. Had the principles enjoined in the law of God been cherished by the fallen race, this sentence, though growing out of the results of sin, would have proved a blessing to them; but mans abuse of the supremacy thus given him has too often rendered the lot of woman very bitter, and made her life a burden. {AH 115.1}[4]
§11
原来夏娃在伊甸园的家中，在丈夫身边有完全快乐的生活；但她好像许多近代二十世纪不安于位的夏娃一样，受了撒但的迷惑，心中妄想升到比上帝为她所安排的更高的地位。可惜，她在努力求取更高地位的时候，反而降得更低了。近代的妇女，若不以愉快的态度遵照上帝的计划过她们日常的生活，也会发生同样的结果。[5]
§12
Eve had been perfectly happy by her husbands side in her Eden home; but, like restless modern Eves, she was flattered with the hope of entering a higher sphere than that which God had assigned her. In attempting to rise above her original position, she fell far below it. A similar result will be reached by all who are unwilling to take up cheerfully their life duties in accordance with Gods plan. {AH 115.2}[5]
§13
妻子顺服；丈夫爱护——常有人这样问：“难道作妻子的就不应该有自己的意志么？”《圣经》清楚地记载说：丈夫乃是一家之首。“你们作妻子的，当顺服自己的丈夫。”假若这条命令到此为止，我们就可以说作妻子的地位并不值得羡慕。就许多实例而言，作妻子的地位的确是相当艰苦难堪的，这样的结合不如少有为妙。许多作丈夫的，只念到“你们作妻子的，当顺服，”便停止了，但我们应该将这条命令的结论读完，那就是：“这在主里面是相宜的。”[6]
§14
Wives Submit; Husbands Love.--The question is often asked, Shall a wife have no will of her own? The Bible plainly states that the husband is the head of the family. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands. If this injunction ended here, we might say that the position of the wife is not an enviable one; it is a very hard and trying position in very many cases, and it would be better were there fewer marriages. Many husbands stop at the words, Wives, submit yourselves, but we will read the conclusion of the same injunction, which is. As it is fit in the Lord. {AH 115.3}[6]
§15
上帝要求作妻子的常存敬畏之心，将上帝的荣耀常摆在她的面前。只对于主耶稣基督全然地顺服，因他曾以无限的代价，就是他自己的生命，将她赎回来，作她自己的儿女。上帝已赐给她一颗良心，她若加以违逆，就决不会不受惩罚。她的个性不能归并于她丈夫的个性之中，因为她原是基督所赎取的产业。她若怀着盲目的忠诚，认为应当去做她丈夫所吩咐的任何事情，而心中明知这样行，必损害她已蒙救赎脱离撒但奴役的身体与心灵的话，那就是极大的错误了。有一位比丈夫更尊大的，站在妻子与丈夫之间，就是她的救赎主，而她顺服自己的丈夫，乃要照着上帝的指示——“这在主里面是相宜的。”[7]
§16
God requires that the wife shall keep the fear and glory of God ever before her. Entire submission is to be made only to the Lord Jesus Christ, who has purchased her as His own child by the infinite price of His life. God has given her a conscience, which she cannot violate with impunity. Her individuality cannot be merged into that of her husband, for she is the purchase of Christ. It is a mistake to imagine that with blind devotion she is to do exactly as her husband says in all things, when she knows that in so doing, injury would be worked for her body and her spirit, which have been ransomed from the slavery of Satan. There is One who stands higher than the husband to the wife; it is her Redeemer, and her submission to her husband is to be rendered as God has directed--as it is fit in the Lord. {AH 116.1}[7]
§17
当作丈夫的迫使他们的妻子要完全地顺服，且声称妇女在家中并无发言权，也不能有个人的自由意志，必须全然顺服时，他们便是把自己的妻子置于与《圣经》教训相背的地位上了。他们如此谬解《圣经》，就违反了婚姻制度原有的宗旨。这样的解释，用意无非是容许他们得以专横行事，其实他们并没有这样的特权。但是他们再往下念：“你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，不可苦待她们。”丈夫凭什么要苦待他的妻子呢？倘若丈夫发现她有过错和缺点，苦毒的心意并不足以纠正恶弊。[8]
§18
When husbands require the complete subjection of their wives, declaring that women have no voice or will in the family, but must render entire submission, they place their wives in a position contrary to the Scripture. In interpreting the Scripture in this way, they do violence to the design of the marriage institution. This interpretation is made simply that they may exercise arbitrary rule, which is not their prerogative. But we read on, Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Why should the husband be bitter against his wife? If the husband has found her erring and full of faults, bitterness of spirit will not remedy the evil. {AH 116.2}[8]
§19
妻子之顺服丈夫，当如丈夫之顺服基督——主耶稣与他教会的关系，并没有在许多丈夫与他们妻子之间的关系中正确地表达出来，因为他们并不遵行主的道。他们声称：他们的妻子必须凡事顺服他们。然而作丈夫的自己若不顺服基督时，上帝就没有意思要他作一家之首，而拥有管治之权。他必须顺服基督，俾能象征基督与教会的关系。假使他自己是一个卑劣、粗鲁、专横、苛刻而傲慢的人，但愿他切勿讲出丈夫是妻子的头，妻子必须凡事顺服他的话。因为他不是主，就真实的意义而言，他也不是丈夫。[9]
§20
Wives Subject Only As Husbands Are Subject to Christ.--The Lord Jesus has not been correctly represented in His relation to the church by many husbands in their relation to their wives, for they do not keep the way of the Lord. They declare that their wives must be subject to them in everything. But it was not the design of God that the husband should have control, as head of the house, when he himself does not submit to Christ. He must be under the rule of Christ that he may represent the relation of Christ to the church. If he is a coarse, rough, boisterous, egotistical, harsh, and overbearing man, let him never utter the word that the husband is the head of the wife, and that she must submit to him in everything; for he is not the Lord, he is not the husband in the true significance of the term. . . . {AH 117.1}[9]
§21
作丈夫的应该研习楷模，并力求明白以弗所书中的表号所象征的意义，就是基督与教会之间所有的关系。丈夫在他的家庭中要像一位救主。他是否基于上帝所赐高贵的大丈夫的立场，竭力提拔自己的妻子儿女呢？他是否发出纯洁的馨香之气呢？他是否诚挚的培养耶稣的爱，使之成为家中长存的原则，犹如他强调自己权威的主张一样呢？[10]
§22
Husbands should study the pattern and seek to know what is meant by the symbol presented in Ephesians, the relation Christ sustains to the church. The husband is to be as a Saviour in his family. Will he stand in his noble, God-given manhood, ever seeking to uplift his wife and children? Will he breathe about him a pure, sweet atmosphere? Will he not as assiduously cultivate the love of Jesus, making it an abiding principle in his home, as he will assert his claims to authority? {AH 117.2}[10]
§23
但愿每位为夫为父之人，学习明白基督的圣言，不要片面地研究，单单注重妻子顺服丈夫的教训，乃要以髑髅地十字架上的亮光来研究自己在家庭范围中的地位。“你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己；要用水借着道，把教会洗净，成为圣洁。”耶稣已献上自己，死在十字架上，为要洁净我们，并借着圣灵的感化，保守我们脱离一切的罪孽与污秽。[11]
§24
Let every husband and father study to understand the words of Christ, not in a one-sided manner, merely dwelling upon the subjection of the wife to her husband, but in the light of the cross of Calvary, study as to his own position in the family circle. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. Jesus gave Himself up to die upon the cross in order that He might cleanse and keep us from all sin and pollution by the influence of the Holy Spirit. {AH 117.3}[11]
§25
须彼此宽容——我们必须获有上帝的圣灵，否则家庭永难谐协。作妻子的若具有基督的精神，就必谨慎自己的言语，控制自己的意气；且必凡事顺服，然而并不觉得自己是奴役，而是她丈夫的伴侣。丈夫若是上帝的仆人，他不致辖制他的妻子，他也不致专横苛求。我们不论怎样珍重家庭的爱，也决不会过分。因为一个家，如果有主的灵住在其中，那就是天国的表象了。倘若一方有错，对方就当表现基督的宽容，而不应冷漠地远避。[12]
§26
Mutual Forbearance Is Needed.--We must have the Spirit of God, or we can never have harmony in the home. The wife, if she has the spirit of Christ, will be careful of her words; she will control her spirit, she will be submissive, and yet will not feel that she is a bondslave, but a companion to her husband. If the husband is a servant of God, he will not lord it over his wife; he will not be arbitrary and exacting. We cannot cherish home affection with too much care; for the home, if the Spirit of the Lord dwells there, is a type of heaven. . . . If one errs, the other will exercise Christlike forbearance and not draw coldly away. {AH 118.1}[12]
§27
无论丈夫或妻子，都不应企图在对方身上使用专横的控制权。不可勉强对方来顺服自己的意愿。若长此以往，就无法维持彼此相爱的心了。要仁慈、忍耐、宽容、体谅，并谦恭有礼。仰赖上帝的恩典，你们便能彼此造福，正如你们在结婚盟约中所应许的一样。[13]
§28
Neither the husband nor the wife should attempt to exercise over the other an arbitrary control. Do not try to compel each other to yield to your wishes. You cannot do this and retain each others love. Be kind, patient, and forbearing, considerate, and courteous. By the grace of God you can succeed in making each other happy, as in your marriage vow you promised to do. {AH 118.2}[13]
§29
要彼此温和地容让——男女在婚后生活中，有时候的行为竟像毫无修养，刚愎任性的小孩子一般。丈夫坚持己见，妻子也固执私意，互不相让。这样僵持的情形必招致极大的不幸。夫妻双方都当甘心乐意地捐弃自己的主张或成见。当他们双方执意为所欲为之时，绝不可能获得丝毫幸福。[14]
§30
Let Each Graciously Yield.--In the married life men and women sometimes act like undisciplined, perverse children. The husband wants his way, and the wife wants her way, and neither is willing to yield. Such a condition of things can bring only the greatest unhappiness. Both husband and wife should be willing to yield his or her way or opinion. There is no possibility of happiness while they both persists in doing as they please. {AH 118.3}[14]
§31
除非男女都曾学习过基督的柔和谦卑，他们难免会表现出小孩子的任性与无理取闹的通病来。那强横而未经训练的意志，必力争霸权。这等人需要研究保罗的话：“我作孩子的时候，话语像孩子，心思像孩子，意念像孩子，既成了人，就把孩子的事丢弃了。”[15]
§32
Unless men and women have learned of Christ, His meekness and lowliness, they will reveal the impulsive, unreasonable spirit so often revealed by children. The strong, undisciplined will will seek to rule. Such ones need to study the words of Paul: When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. {AH 118.4}[15]
§33
适应家庭的困难——假若夫妻俩都没有将自己的心皈服上帝，即使双方都力求平静而公平地调处各人的职责，以适应家庭的困难，也还是一件不太容易的事。对于家庭的福利，夫妻二人怎能各持己见而仍然恩爱如昔呢？对于一切有关家庭福利的事，他们当同心合意，倘若妻子是一位基督徒，她就应该像丈夫的友伴一般，随和他的主张；因为丈夫乃是一家之首。[16]
§34
Adjusting Family Difficulties.--It is a hard matter to adjust family difficulties, even when husband and wife seek to make a fair and just settlement in regard to their several duties, if they have failed to submit the heart to God. How can husband and wife divide the interests of their home life and still keep a loving, firm hold upon each other? They should have a united interest in all that concerns their homemaking, and the wife, if a Christian, will have her interest with her husband as his companion; for the husband is to stand as the head of the household. {AH 119.1}[16]
§35
劝导不和睦的家庭——你的作风错了。当你采取立场之时，未曾好好地权衡事态，考虑到坚持自己的主见，任意将之织入你的祈祷与谈话之中，而你也明知你妻子的看法与你相左之时，将产生怎样的后果。你不但不像一位君子那样的善自体贴妻子的感受，避免涉及明知双方意见不合的话题，却故意去强调那些相异的论点，只顾发表你自己的意见，全然无视于周围的人。你以为别人没有权利可以与你的意见相左。这一类的果子，决不是基督徒树上所结的。[17]
§36
Counsel to Discordant Families.--Your spirit is wrong. When you take a position, you do not weigh the matter well and consider what must be the effect of your maintaining your views and in an independent manner weaving them into your prayers and conversation, when you know that your wife does not hold the same views that you do. Instead of respecting the feelings of your wife and kindly avoiding, as a gentleman would, those subjects upon which you know you differ, you have been forward to dwell upon objectionable points, and have manifested a persistency in expressing your views regardless of any around you. You have felt that others had no right to see matters differently from yourself. These fruits do not grow upon the Christian tree. {AH 119.2}[17]
§37
我的弟兄，我的姊妹，你们当敞开心门，迎接耶稣，要邀请他进入心灵之殿中。你们当彼此相助，克服那侵入婚后生活中的一切障碍。你们必须猛力作战，方能克胜你们的仇敌魔鬼，而你们若指望在这场战争中得蒙上帝的援助，就必须同心合意地立志要获得胜利，闭口不出邪恶的言语，甚至当跪下呼求道：“主啊，求你斥退我灵性上的仇敌。”[18]
§38
My brother, my sister, open the door of the heart to receive Jesus. Invite him into the soul-temple. Help each other to overcome the obstacles which enter the married life of all. You will have a fierce conflict to overcome your adversary the devil, and if you expect God to help you in this battle, you must both unite in deciding to overcome, to seal your lips against speaking any words of wrong, even if you have to fall upon your knees and cry aloud, Lord, rebuke the adversary of my soul. {AH 119.3}[18]
§39
心有基督就必合一——若上帝的旨意得以成全，夫妻之间就必彼此尊重，并培养爱情与信任之心。凡足以危害家庭的平安与和睦之事，应断然予以遏制，却要培养仁慈与爱心，凡表现温慈、忍耐与仁爱的精神之人，必发觉别人也以同样的精神对待他。何处有上帝的灵作主，何处就没有任何婚姻关系不融洽的论调。基督若真的在你们心里成了有荣耀的盼望，家中就必充满和睦而恩爱的气氛。住在妻子心中的基督，必和住在丈夫心中的基督谐合一致。他们必一心一德地为基督去给一切爱他之人所预备的住处而努力。[19]
§40
Christ in Each Heart Will Bring Unity.--If the will of God is fulfilled, the husband and wife will respect each other and cultivate love and confidence. Anything that would mar the peace and unity of the family should be firmly repressed, and kindness and love should be cherished. He who manifests the spirit of tenderness, forbearance, and love will find that the same spirit will be reflected upon him. Where the Spirit of God reigns, there will be no talk of unsuitability in the marriage relation. If Christ indeed is formed within, the hope of glory, there will be union and love in the home. Christ abiding in the heart of the wife will be at agreement with Christ abiding in the heart of the husband. They will be striving together for the mansions Christ has gone to prepare for those who love Him. {AH 120.1}[19]