第10章 亟需劝告的时际
§1
第10章 亟需劝告的时际
§2
Chap. 10 - When Counsel is Needed
§3
向《圣经》求指导——婚姻乃是上帝所设立的神圣礼节，决不可怀着自私的心意进行。凡有意结婚的人，务要事先严肃地存着祈祷的心情考虑其重要性，并寻求神圣的指导，俾能知道他们所采取的行动是否与上帝的旨意相合。当仔细思考上帝圣言中对于这一问题所颁赐的教训。上天必欣然嘉许凡诚心遵从《圣经》之指示而缔结的婚姻。[1]
§4
Get Counsel From the Bible.--Instituted by God, marriage is a sacred ordinance and should never be entered upon in a spirit of selfishness. Those who contemplate this step should solemnly and prayerfully consider its importance and seek divine counsel that they may know whether they are pursuing a course in harmony with the will of God. The instruction given in Gods word on this point should be carefully considered. Heaven looks with pleasure upon a marriage formed with an earnest desire to conform to the directions given in the Scripture. {AH 70.1}[1]
§5
倘若有什么题旨必须予以从容地推究，镇静地思考，那就是婚姻大事了。如果有什么时候需要以《圣经》作顾问，那就是在未曾举行终身结合的大典之前了。但是现今盛行的意见，都认为此事应当以情感为依归，而在太多的实例中，都由痴恋的唯情主义把持了舵柄，驶向无可避免的败坏。在这件事上，青年们较之在别的事上显得更缺少智慧；对于此事他们拒不接受劝导。婚姻的问题在他们身上似乎产生了一种蛊惑的力量。他们不顺服上帝。他们的理智被束缚了，他们在暗中行动，唯恐别人来干预他们的计划似的。[2]
§6
If there is any subject that should be considered with calm reason and unimpassioned judgment, it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counselor, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life. But the prevailing sentiment is that in this matter the feelings are to be the guide, and in too many cases lovesick sentimentalism takes the helm and guides to certain ruin. It is here that the youth show less intelligence than on any other subject; it is here that they refuse to be reasoned with. The question of marriage seems to have a bewitching power over them. They do not submit themselves to God. Their senses are enchained, and they move forward in secretiveness, as if fearful that their plans would be interfered with by someone. {AH 70.2}[2]
§7
有许多人正航行在危险的港湾里。他们需要一位领港人，但他们却藐视并拒绝那极度需要的帮助，自以为有足够的本领能驾驶自己的船只，毫不觉得将有触礁的危险，可能使信仰和幸福全都归于破灭。除非他们作勤奋的学生而研究那道（《圣经》），就难免犯这严重的错误，伤害自己和别人今生与来世的幸福。[3]
§8
Many are sailing in a dangerous harbor. They need a pilot; but they scorn to accept the much-needed help, feeling that they are competent to guide their own bark, and not realizing that it is about to strike a hidden rock that may cause them to make shipwreck of faith and happiness. . . . Unless they are diligent students of that word [the Bible], they will make grave mistakes which will mar their happiness and that of others, both for the present and the future life. {AH 70.3}[3]
§9
正确的决定基于祷告——在未考虑结婚之前的男女，若每日有两次祈祷的习惯，那么在预备结婚期间，每日就当祈祷四次。婚姻大事足以影响你今生和来世的生活。[4]
§10
Prayer Necessary to Right Decision.--If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come. . . . {AH 71.1}[4]
§11
我们这个世代大多数的婚姻与举办婚事的方式，乃是末日的一个预兆。男男女女都是那么固执，那么刚愎，完全将上帝置诸度外。宗教也被撇弃一旁，好像与这件严肃而重大的事情毫无关系似的。[5]
§12
The majority of the marriages of our time and the way in which they are conducted make them one of the signs of the last days. Men and women are so persistent, so headstrong, that God is left out of the question. Religion is laid aside, as if it had no part to act in this solemn and important matter. {AH 71.2}[5]
§13
在迷恋之时掩耳不听劝告——两个人彼此相识，往往便两相情愿，缠绵难分。理智盲目了，判断也颠倒了。他们拒绝听取任何劝告，不受任何约束，固执己见，一意孤行，不顾后果如何。那辖制他们的迷恋，好像瘟疫或传染病一般，便自动蔓延演进，似乎任何事物都无法加以遏止。[6]
§14
When Infatuation Is Deaf to Counsel.--Two persons become acquainted; they are infatuated with each other, and their whole attention is absorbed. Reason is blinded, and judgment is overthrown. They will not submit to any advice or control, but insist on having their own way, regardless of consequences. Like some epidemic, or contagion, that must run its course is the infatuation that possesses them; and there seems to be no such thing as putting a stop to it. {AH 71.3}[6]
§15
也许旁观者清，确知那有关双方若在婚姻中结为一体，结果必致终身不幸。无奈恳劝与忠告皆无效果。也许由于这样的结合，那位原来在为上帝服务时必蒙赐福之人的效能，就必受到阻碍与破坏，但是理喻与劝告全都置若罔闻。有经验的男女所讲的话语都归于无效，不能改变他们顺从情欲所作的决定。他们对于祷告聚会以及一切有关宗教的事物都失去了兴趣。他们互相迷恋，以至人生的义务全被漠视，似乎都是无足轻重的了。[7]
§16
Perhaps there are those around them who realize that, should the parties interested be united in marriage, it could only result in lifelong unhappiness. But entreaties and exhortations are given in vain. Perhaps, by such a union, the usefulness of one whom God would bless in His service will be crippled and destroyed; but reasoning and persuasion are alike unheeded. All that can be said by men and women of experience proves ineffectual; it is powerless to change the decision to which their desires have led them. They lose interest in the prayer meeting and in everything that pertains to religion. They are wholly infatuated with each other, and the duties of life are neglected, as if they were matters of little concern. {AH 71.4}[7]
§17
青年亟需富有经验之长者的智慧——既有那么多的困苦自婚姻而生，为什么青年仍然如此不智？他们为什么依旧认为不需要年长而富有经验之人的劝告呢？在经营事业方面，无论男女都表现得十分慎重。在没有参与任何重要的企业之前，他们自己必作相当的准备。为此而付出时间、金钱，以及缜密的研究都在所不惜，唯恐他们的事业归于失败。[8]
§18
Youth Need the Wisdom of Age and Experience.-- When so much misery results from marriage, why will not the youth be wise? Why will they continue to feel that they do not need the counsel of older and more experienced persons? In business, men and women manifest great caution. Before engaging in any important enterprise, they prepare themselves for their work. Time, money, and much careful study are devoted to the subject, lest they shall make a failure in their undertaking. {AH 72.1}[8]
§19
那么，在参与婚姻关系——就是影响后代与来生的关系——之前，岂不应当更加慎重么？但事实上却不然，往往有人带着嬉戏与轻薄，冲动与情欲的态度，未经冷静的思考便盲目成婚。这种现象的唯一解释，便是因为撒但乐于见到世上充满痛苦和败坏，故而设下这样的网罗以陷害生灵。他看见这班人毫不思考地丧失了今生的福乐与来世的家园，便不胜雀跃了。[9]
§20
How much greater caution should be exercised in entering the marriage relation--a relation which affects future generations and the future life? Instead of this, it is often entered upon with jest and levity, impulse and passion, blindness and lack of calm consideration. The only explanation of this is that Satan loves to see misery and ruin in the world, and he weaves this net to entangle souls. He rejoices to have these inconsiderate persons lose their enjoyment of this world and their home in the world to come. {AH 72.2}[9]
§21
应尊重父母老练的见解——儿女们岂可仅凭自己的意愿与倾向，而置父母的劝告与见解于不顾呢？有的人似乎从不念及父母的心愿或选择，也不尊重他们成熟的见解。自私已闭塞了心门而摒孝思于度外。对于这一件事，青年们的心意必须觉醒了。第五条诫命是唯一带应许的诫命，但是由于爱人的要求，这条诫命往往被轻视，甚或全然不顾了。漠视母亲的慈爱，不尊父亲的关心，这些罪过已记在许多青年的帐上了。[10]
§22
Matured Judgment of Parents Should Be Valued.-- Shall children consult only their own desires and inclinations irrespective of the advice and judgment of their parents? Some seem never to bestow a thought upon their parents wishes or preferences, nor to regard their matured judgment. Selfishness has closed the door of their hearts to filial affection. The minds of the young need to be aroused in regard to this matter. The fifth commandment is the only commandment to which is annexed a promise, but it is held lightly and is even positively ignored by the lovers claim. Slighting a mothers love, dishonoring a fathers care are sins that stand registered against many youth. {AH 72.3}[10]
§23
和这件事有关的一种最大的谬见，就是对于年纪轻而阅历浅的青年人的情绪不可横加搅扰，不应干预他们的恋爱经验。倘若有一个题旨必须从每一个观点去详加考虑，那就是这件大事了。这事借助阅历丰富之人的帮助，并经过双方安静而审慎的衡度，的确是必需的。无奈大多数的人对这个问题都太轻视了。青年朋友们哪，当以上帝和你们敬畏上帝的父母为你们的顾问。在这件事上务要多多祷告。[11]
§24
One of the greatest errors connected with this subject is that the young and inexperienced must not have their affections disturbed, that there must be no interference in their love experience. If there ever was a subject that needed to be viewed from every standpoint, it is this. The aid of the experience of others and a calm, careful weighing of the matter on both sides are positively essential. It is a subject that is treated altogether too lightly by the great majority of people. Take God and your God-fearing parents into your counsel, young friends. Pray over the matter. {AH 73.1}[11]
§25
向敬虔的双亲倾吐衷情——倘若你们蒙福而有敬畏上帝的双亲，就当求教于他们。将你们的希望和计划向他们禀明，学习他们生活经验中所有的教训。[12]
§26
Confide in Godly Parents.--If you are blessed with God-fearing parents, seek counsel of them. Open to them your hopes and plans; learn the lessons which their life experiences have taught. {AH 73.2}[12]
§27
倘若作儿女的多多与父母亲近，倘若他们信任父母，并将自己的喜乐与忧愁向他们倾吐出来，那么他们将来就能免除许多痛心的事了。当他们感到困惑而无所适从之时，就当将自己对此事所有的看法禀告父母，求教于他们。谁能像敬畏上帝的父母那样适于指出他们的危险来呢？谁能像他们那样了解儿女特有的气质呢？身为基督徒的作儿女的人，必视自己敬畏上帝的父母的嘉许与爱护，比一切世俗的福分更可贵。父母能同情儿女，并能和他们一起为他们祷告，求上帝庇佑并引导他们。最重要的是：他们还须向儿女指出那位永远可靠的良友和顾问来。[13]
§28
If children would be more familiar with their parents, if they would confide in them and unburden to them their joys and sorrows, they would save themselves many a future heartache. When perplexed to know what course is right, let them lay the matter just as they view it before their parents, and ask advice of them. Who are so well calculated to point out their dangers as godly parents? Who can understand their peculiar temperaments so well as they? Children who are Christians will esteem above every earthly blessing the love and approbation of their God-fearing parents. The parents can sympathize with the children and pray for and with them that God will shield and guide them. Above everything else they will point them to their never-failing Friend and Counselor. {AH 73.3}[13]
§29
父母当指导青年的爱情——父母应当觉得自己负有责任引导青年人，把爱情寄托在那能作他们合适配偶者的身上。父母应当用自己的教训和榜样，借着上帝恩典的帮助，从儿女幼年的时候就下手陶冶他们的品格，使他们成为纯洁高尚的青年，并能与其他良善真诚的青年心心相印。因为人总是同声相应，同气相求的。务要在青年人心中及早培养喜爱真理、纯洁和良善的美德，以后他们就自然会与那些具有这种特性的人结交了。[14]
§30
Parents to Guide the Affections of Youth.--Fathers and mothers should feel that a duty devolves upon them to guide the affections of the youth, that they may be placed upon those who will be suitable companions. They should feel it a duty, by their own teaching and example, with the assisting grace of God, to so mold the character of the children from their earliest years that they will be pure and noble and will be attracted to the good and true. Like attracts like; like appreciates like. Let the love for truth and purity and goodness be early implanted in the soul, and the youth will seek the society of those who possess these characteristics. {AH 74.1}[14]
§31
以撒所树立的榜样——为父母的，决不可在那有关儿女将来幸福的事上忽略自己的责任。以撒之所以顺服他父亲的意旨，乃是因为素常受了父亲的训练，教训他喜爱度顺命的生活。[15]
§32
The Example Set by Isaac.--Parents should never lose sight of their own responsibility for the future happiness of their children. Isaacs deference to his fathers judgment was the result of the training that had taught him to love a life of obedience. {AH 74.2}[15]
§33
以撒曾大蒙上帝尊重，成了使世人得福之应许的承受者。然而当他父亲安排他老练而敬畏上帝的仆人去为他拣选一个妻子时，他虽然已经四十岁，还是顺从他父亲的意思。圣经描述他婚姻的结果，乃是家庭幸福的一幅亲切美丽的景象：“以撒便领利百加进了他母亲撒拉的帐棚，娶了她为妻，并且爱她。以撒从他母亲不在了，这才得了安慰”（创24:67）。（一二）
§34
Isaac was highly honored by God in being made inheritor of the promises through which the world was to be blessed; yet when he was forty years of age, he submitted to his fathers judgment in appointing his experienced, God-fearing servant to choose a wife for him. And the result of that marriage, as presented in the Scriptures, is a tender and beautiful picture of domestic happiness: Isaac brought her into his mother Sarahs tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mothers death. {AH 74.3}[16]
§35
贤明的父母必体察儿女的心——你或者会问：“父母不顾儿女的意愿或感情，而为他们选择配偶是应该的吗？”我认为你这个问题应当改为如此：若父母是爱儿女的，但儿女在这直接涉及父母的幸福的大事上，不先与父母商谈，而迳行自择配偶是应该的吗？而为人子女的，是不是应该不顾父母的劝告与恳求，断然固执己见而一意孤行呢？我肯定地答复道：不，即使他终身不婚，也不当如此！因为第五条诫命绝对禁止这样的行为。“当孝敬父母，使你的日子在耶和华你上帝所赐你的地上，得以长久。”凡遵行这一条带应许的诫命之人，主必在他们身上实现此应许。贤明的父母决不会不顾儿女的意愿而去为他们选择配偶。[17]
§36
Wise Parents Will Be Considerate.--Should parents, you ask, select a companion without regard to the mind or feelings of son or daughter? I put the question to you as it should be: Should a son or daughter select a companion without first consulting the parents, when such a step must materially affect the happiness of parents if they have any affection for their children? And should that child, notwithstanding the counsel and entreaties of his parents, persist in following his own course? I answer decidedly: No; not if he never marries. The fifth commandment forbids such a course. Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Here is a commandment with a promise which the Lord will surely fulfill to those who obey. Wise parents will never select companions for their children without respect to their wishes. {AH 75.1}[17]