第04章 要寻求帮助吗？
§1
第04章 要寻求帮助吗？
§2
Section Four - Looking for Help?
§3
【我作出了正确的选择吗？】
§4
我们不可把履行自己本分的责任交给别人，等他们告诉我们该怎样行。我们不能依靠人的指教。主乐意把我们的本分教导我们，正如祂乐意教导别人一样。我们若凭信心来到祂面前，祂必亲自向我们启示祂的奥秘。当祂接近我们，与我们谈心，象祂对以诺那样时，我们就会心中火热。凡决心不做任何不蒙上帝喜悦之事的人，在把他们的事向主陈明之后，就必知道该怎样行。他们不仅会得着智慧，也必得着力量。顺从和服务的能力，都必照基督的应许赐给他们。{LYL 39.1}[1]
§5
【Have I Made The Right Choice?】
§6
We are not to place the responsibility of our duty upon others, and wait for them to tell us what to do. We cannot depend for counsel upon humanity. The Lord will teach us our duty just as willingly as He will teach somebody else. If we come to Him in faith, He will speak His mysteries to us personally. Our hearts will often burn within us as One draws nigh to commune with us as He did with Enoch. Those who decide to do nothing in any line that will displease God, will know, after presenting their case before Him, just what course to pursue. And they will receive not only wisdom, but strength. Power for obedience, for service, will be imparted to them as Christ has promised. {LYL 39.1}[1]
§7
婚姻是足以影响你们的今生与来生。一个真诚的基督徒，若非认清上帝已经赞许他，就决不贸然进行这方面的计划。他不愿自行选择，却觉得上帝必定为他选择。我们不可求自己的喜悦，因为基督也不求自己的喜悦。不要以为我的意思是说一个人要跟他所不爱的人结婚。那是罪过。但不可容幻想与感情的本性引至败亡的地步。上帝所要求的，乃是整个心与至上的爱。{LYL 39.2}[2]
§8
Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want to choose for Himself, but will feel that God must choose for him. We are not to please ourselves, for Christ pleased not Himself. I would not be understood to mean that anyone is to marry one whom he does not love. This would be sin. But fancy and the emotional nature must not be allowed to lead on to ruin. God requires the whole heart, the supreme affections. {LYL 39.2}[2]
§9
男男女女们在考虑结婚之前，若每日有两次祈祷的习惯，那么在打算结婚期间，每日就当祈祷四次。婚姻大事足以影响你今生和来世的生活。一个真诚的基督徒，若非认清上帝已经赞许他，就决不贸然进行这方面的计划。{LYL 39.3}[3]
§10
If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. {LYL 39.3}[3]
§11
倘若有什么问题需要冷静考虑，不可感情用事的话，那就是婚姻大事了。如果有什么时候需要以圣经为顾问的话，那就是在迈出终身结合的一步之前了。{LYL 40.1}[4]
§12
If there is any subject that should be considered with calm reason and unimpassioned judgment, it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counselor, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life. {LYL 40.1}[4]
§13
婚姻乃是上帝所设立的神圣制度，决不可怀着自私的精神进行。凡有意结婚的人，务要事先严肃地存着祈祷的心考虑其重要性，并寻求上帝的指导，好使他们知道自己所采取的行动是否与上帝的旨意相合。当仔细思考上帝圣言中对于这一问题所颁赐的教训。上天必欣然嘉许凡诚心遵从圣经的指示而缔结的婚姻。{LYL 40.2}[5]
§14
Instituted by God, marriage is a sacred ordinance and should never be entered upon in a spirit of selfishness. Those who contemplate this step should solemnly and prayerfully consider its importance and seek divine counsel that they may know whether they are pursuing a course in harmony with the will of God. The instruction given in Gods word on this point should be carefully considered. Heaven looks with pleasure upon a marriage formed with an earnest desire to conform to the directions given in the Scripture. {LYL 40.2}[5]
§15
（贝尔似乎不想接受任何人的指导，即使是与她最亲密，最关心她幸福的人。怀爱伦建议她应该听从她的父母，后因贝尔忽略她的意见而感失望。她劝贝尔，如果不愿意寻求人的帮助，就应该求助于上帝。下面是怀夫人写给她的两封信。）{LYL 40.3}[6]
§16
（BELLE DOES NOT SEEM TO WANT COUNSEL FROM ANY SOURCE--EVEN FROM THOSE CLOSEST TO HER, AND MOST INTERESTED IN HER HAPPINESS.ELLEN WHITE SUGGESTS THAT SHE OUGHT TO LISTEN TO HER PARENTS, AND IN TURN IS DISAPPOINTED THAT HER OWN COUNSEL HAS BEEN IGNORED. SHE PLEADS THAT IF BELLE IS UNWILLING TO GO TO HUMAN HELP, SHE SHOULD CERTAINLY TURN TO GOD. HERE ARE TWO LETTERS MRS. WHITE WROTE TO HER.{LYL 40.3}[6]
§17
【第一封】1889年3月1日写与密歇根州巴特尔克里克[7]
§18
【Letter No. 1】Battle Creek, Mich. March 1, 1889[7]
§19
亲爱的贝尔：
§20
我希望与你见面谈话。我很担心你无视上帝乐意通过我给你的亮光。我知道主对你有温柔怜悯的爱。我希望你不会被试探引诱而采取将你的心灵和上帝分开的行动。有很多人乐意给人出主意，用主意扰乱人的思想。他们没有上帝作他们的策士，所以他们所说的一切只会使一个已经很难受的人处于更矛盾的情形中。{LYL 41.1}[8]
§21
Dear Belle:
§22
I hoped to meet you and talk with you. I greatly fear that you disregard the light which the Lord has been pleased to give you through me. I know that the Lord has tender, pitying love toward you, and I hope you will not under temptation be led to pursue a course to separate your soul from God. There are many who are ready to give advice and confuse the mind with counsel, who have not God for their counselor, therefore all they may say will only make a mixed case of one that is already very trying. {LYL 41.1}[8]
§23
贝尔，你的脾气和性情使我很担心你的属灵生命。我担心你不会选择与那些慎重、明智、心里谦卑、爱上帝的人和守祂诫命的人为伴。{LYL 41.2}[9]
§24
Belle, your disposition and temperament is such that I greatly fear for your soul. I fear that you will not choose for your companions those who are discreet and wise and humble in heart, who love God and who keep His commandments. {LYL 41.2}[9]
§25
使徒在圣灵的感动下劝人要避免一切邪恶的行为。你做到了吗？你在情感方面的发展超过了你的理性。贝尔，凡会增强这种倾向使之具有支配力的任何事情都应该避免。你有行动的力量；不要让它败坏，而要将它完全献给上帝。上帝已经赐给你天分和能力，要为祂的荣耀而圣化并运用之。{LYL 41.3}[10]
§26
Abstain from even the appearance of evil, is the exhortation of the inspired apostle. Have you done this? The sensational and emotional is more fully developed than the intellectual . Everything, Belle, should be avoided that would exaggerate this tendency into a predominating power. You have motive power; let it be uncorrupted and wholly devoted to God. God has bestowed upon you capabilities and powers to be sanctified and exercised to His glory. {LYL 41.3}[10]
§27
你已经并且正在写下自己的历史。你的心可能在你人生的这个危机中转弯，偏向粗俗而不是高雅。世界污染的影响可能塑造你的习惯、你的品味和你的言谈举止。你是站在失败的一边。严肃而关系永恒后果的的宝贵时刻在这个问题上可能完全浪费在撒但一边，并造成你的毁灭。我不希望事情会这样。我希望你成为一个基督徒，成为上帝的孩子，天国的后嗣。{LYL 41.4}[11]
§28
You have a history and you are making history. The mind may in this crisis of your life take a turn, a bias of grossness rather than of refinement. The contaminating influences of the world may mold your habits, your taste, your conversation, your deportment. You are on the losing side. The precious moments, so solemn, fraught with eternal results, may be wholly on Satans side of the question and may prove your ruin. I do not want it thus. I want you should be a Christian, a child of God, an heir of heaven. {LYL 41.4}[11]
§29
你有危险放弃基督，变得不顾后果，不肯听从明智的劝勉。对父母慈爱的忠告充耳不闻。贝尔啊，你愿意认真考虑要不要接受有经验之人的建议吗？你愿意接受你的朋友们的指导吗？你要忽视父母的忠告吗？你要自己处理自己的事吗？{LYL 41.5}[12]
§30
You are in danger of giving up Christ, of becoming reckless and unwilling to listen to wise counsel. The counsel of parental affection is lost upon deaf ears. Will you, Belle, think seriously whether you will receive advice from the experienced? Will you be guided by your friends? Will the parental counsel be unheeded? Will you take your case in your own hands? {LYL 41.5}[12]
§31
我希望你改变自己的做法，因为如果说主曾对我说过话，祂现在就在对你说，要你从原路返回。你的感情很强烈，而你的原则却受到了危害。你不愿考虑也不愿顺从你明明知道是好的建议，去做唯一明确、安全、可靠的事。你愿意下决心去做正确的事，做正直的人，听从我奉主的名给你的劝告吗？上帝已经赐给了你才能。难道这些才能要被随便浪费掉吗？你的努力如果不接受指导，就更有可能朝着错误的方向，而不是朝着正确的方向。你要让自己经历多年的任性、失望、和羞辱，并且因着你的做法而在人心中留下那么多不良的印象，以致你永不能拥有你本可拥有的那种感化力吗？{LYL 42.1}[13]
§32
I hope you will change your course of action, for if the Lord has ever spoken by me, He now speaks to you to retrace your steps. Your passions are strong, your principles are endangered, and you will not consider and will not follow advice which you know to be good and the only clear, safe, consistent thing for you to do. Will you resolve to do right, to be right, to heed the counsel I have given you in the name of the Lord? God has given you capabilities. Shall they be wasted at random? Unguided efforts will go more often in the wrong direction than the right. Will you let years of waywardness, disappointment, and shame pass and you make so many wrong impressions on minds by your course of action that you can never have that influence which you might have had? {LYL 42.1}[13]
§33
为了获得你所认为的自由，你正要走一条道路；你一旦走上去，就会使你落入奴役之中，比奴隶更糟。你必须改变自己的做法，接受有经验之人的忠告的指导，并藉着主所教导之人的智慧，将你的意志放在上帝的旨意这一边。{LYL 42.2}[14]
§34
In order to gain that which you think is liberty you pursue a course which, if followed, will hold you in a bondage worse than slavery. You must change your course of conduct and be guided by the counsel of experience and through the wisdom of those whom the Lord teaches, place your will on the side of the will of God. {LYL 42.2}[14]
§35
但如果你决心不听劝告，随自己的意思处理每一件事，就要确知你播下什么，就会收获什么。你会完全错过正确的道路，或者在你的宗教经验受到伤害，损失或阻碍之后，你才转向主，谦卑悔罪并承认你的错误。你会因徒劳而疲倦。{LYL 42.3}[15]
§36
But if you are determined to listen to no counsels, but your own and you will work out every problem for yourself, then be sure you will reap that which you have sown. You will miss the right way altogether, or else, wounded, bruised, and dwarfed in religious character, you will turn to the Lord, humbled, penitent, and confessing your errors. You will become tired of beating the air. {LYL 42.3}[15]
§37
要记住每一个行动和做法都有两面性，不管是高尚的还是败坏的。上帝对你不悦。你担得起追随你所走道路的后果吗？[16]
§38
Remember every action and every course of action has a two-fold character, be it virtuous or demoralizing. God is displeased with you. Can you afford to pursue the course you are pursuing?[16]
§39
《怀爱伦信函》 1889年47号 {LYL 42.4}[17]
§40
Ellen G. White.
§41
Letter 47, 1889 {LYL 42.4}[17]
§42
【第二封】[18]【Letter No. 2 】[18]亲爱的贝尔：
§43
我的心依然对你牵挂不已。你的心境现在怎样？你对上帝对人有无亏的良心吗？你所结交的人，他们的品格能吸引你的心亲近上帝和属天的事物，使你更孝敬父母，使你的志向抱负更纯正圣洁吗？你爱真理和正义吗？还是胡思乱想，以致对心灵的健康毫无益处呢？你能满意地回顾你去年的生活吗？你能看到属灵能力的成长吗？任何低级趣味的满足，任何自我的放纵，都是留在心灵上的疤痕，会败坏心智高尚的能力。人后来也许会悔改，但心灵已受到摧残，将终身带着它的疤痕。耶稣能洗净罪恶，但心灵已经蒙受了损失。{LYL 43.1}[19]
§44
Dear Belle:
§45
Again my heart goes out to you. How is it with your soul? Have you a conscience void of offense toward God and man? Your associations, are they of that character to draw your mind to God and to heavenly things, to increase in you reverence for your parents, pure and holy aspirations? Do you love the truth and the right? Or are you indulging in a creative imagination that has no healthful influence upon the soul? Can you look back upon the last year of your life with satisfaction? Can you see a growth in spiritual power? Any low gratification, any self-indulgence, is a scar left upon the soul, and the noble powers of mind are corrupted. There may be repentance, but the soul is crippled, and will wear its scars through all time. Jesus can wash away the sin but the soul has sustained a loss. {LYL 43.1}[19]
§46
贝尔，我请劝你到上帝那里去寻求智慧。你最难对付的就是你自己了。你自己每天的考验，你的情绪，你特别的性情，你内心的欲望，——这些都是你难以控制的。这些任性的倾向常常将你带入奴役和黑暗之中。{LYL 43.2}[20]
§47
I beg of you, Belle, to go to God for wisdom. The most difficult thing you will have to manage is your own self. Your own daily trials, your emotions, and your peculiar temperament, your inward promptings,--these are difficult matters for you to control, and these wayward inclinations bring you often into bondage and darkness. {LYL 43.2}[20]
§48
你唯一的出路就是将自己毫无保留地交在耶稣基督的手中，包括你所有的经历，所有的试探，所有的考验，所有的欲望，让主来塑造你，就像粘土在窑匠手中被塑造一样。你不是属于你自己的，因此要将你难以管理的自我交托在那能管理你的主手中。然后就有宝贵的安息与平安临到你的心。{LYL 43.3}[21]
§49
Your only course is to give yourself unreservedly into the hands of Jesus--all your experiences, all your temptations, all your trials, all your impulses--and let the Lord mold you as clay is molded in the hands of the potter. You are not your own and therefore there is the necessity of giving your unmanageable self into the hands of One who is able to manage you. Then rest, precious rest and peace will come to your soul. {LYL 43.3}[21]
§50
贝尔，你现在改正错误还不太迟，确认你所蒙的恩召和拣选也不太迟。你此刻就可以实施“加添”的计划。在你的信心上加上德行，知识，节制，忍耐，以及各样基督徒的美德。其它的一切都要在那大日的烈火中烧毁，但圣洁品格的真金是不怕火炼的。它不会朽坏，能经受得住末日之火的考验。我亲爱的孩子，我希望你记得“人所做的事，连一切隐藏的事，无论是善是恶，上帝都必审问”（传12:14）。 {LYL 43.4}[22]
§51
Belle, it is not now too late for wrongs to be righted. It is not now too late to make your calling and your election sure. You may now begin to work upon the plan of addition. Add to your faith virtue, and knowledge, and temperance, and patience, and every Christian grace. Everything else will perish in the great day of conflagration, but the gold of holy character is enduring. It knows no decay. It will stand the test of the fires of the last day. My dear child, I wish you to remember that God shall bring every work into judgement, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil. Ecclesiastes 12:14. {LYL 43.4}[22]
§52
贝尔，你在做什么呢？既然你决定无视忠告，拒绝劝勉，你是否已成长为一个坚定而充分发育的基督徒呢？还是在选择你自己道路时，发现它带来的是不安、烦恼以及忧虑呢？{LYL 44.1}[23]
§53
What are you doing, Belle? Have you, since you decided to discard counsel, to refuse advice, been growing into a firm, well developed Christian? Or have you, in choosing your own way, found it brings unrest, cares, and worries? {LYL 44.1}[23]
§54
为何不听从你父母的劝告呢？在你面前的乃是通向必然灭亡的道路。你愿意在还能回转时回头吗？你愿意在慈爱的声音向你呼吁时寻求主呢，还是仍然要走你自己的路呢？主怜惜你。主邀请你。你愿意来吗？{LYL 44.2}[24]
§55
Why not listen to the advice of your parents? Before you is the path that leads to certain ruin. Will you turn while you can? Will you seek the Lord while Mercys sweet voice is appealing to you, or will you still have your own way? The Lord pities you. The Lord invites you. Will you come? {LYL 44.2}[24]
§56
愿主帮助你选择全然属于主。{LYL 44.3}[25]
§57
May the Lord help you to choose to be wholly the Lords. {LYL 44.3}[25]
§58
我写信是因为我爱你的生命。[26]
§59
I write because I love your soul.[26]
§60
《怀爱伦信函》1889年51号 {LYL 44.4}[27]
§61
Ellen G. White.
§62
Letter 51, 1889 {LYL 44.4}[27]
§63
【父母可以帮助】
§64
倘若你们有敬畏上帝的双亲，就当求教于他们。将你们的希望和计划向他们禀明，学习他们生活经验中的教训。{LYL 45.1}[28]
§65
【Parents Can Be of Help】
§66
If you are blessed with God-fearing parents, seek counsel of them. Open to them your hopes and plans; learn the lessons which their life experiences have taught. {LYL 45.1}[28]
§67
儿女难道可以不先征求父母的意见就选择配偶吗？他们既为父母所爱，这一步骤就对父母的幸福有重大的影响。为人子女的，难道可以不顾父母的忠告与恳劝，固执己见、一意孤行吗？我明确地回答道：不可。即使他终身不婚，也不当如此！“当孝敬父母，使你的日子在耶和华你上帝所赐你的地上，得以长久。”凡遵行这一条带应许之诫命的人，主必在他们身上实现此应许。贤明的父母决不会不顾儿女的意愿而去为他们选择配偶。{LYL 45.2}[29]
§68
Should a son or daughter select a companion without first consulting the parents, when such a step must materially affect the happiness of parents if they have any affection for their children? And should that child, notwithstanding the counsel and entreaties of his parents, persist in following his own course? I answer decidedly: No; not if he never marries. Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Here is a commandment with a promise which the Lord will surely fulfill to those who obey. Wise parents will never select companions for their children without respect to their wishes. {LYL 45.2}[29]
§69
与这件事有关的最大谬见之一，就是认为不可干预年纪轻阅历浅的青年人恋爱的生活。倘若有一个问题需要从各方面考虑的话，那就是这件事了。这件事非常需要借助于其他人的经验，且需双方冷静审慎地权衡衡度。无奈大多数的人对这个问题都太轻视了。青年朋友们哪，当以上帝和你们敬畏上帝的父母为你们的顾问，在这件事上务要多多祷告。{LYL 45.3}[30]
§70
One of the greatest errors connected with this subject is that the young and inexperienced must not have their affections disturbed, that there must be no interference in their love experience. If there ever was a subject that needed to be viewed from every standpoint, it is this. The aid of the experience of others, and a calm, careful weighing of the matter on both sides, is positively essential. It is a subject that is treated altogether too lightly by the great majority of people. Take God and your God-fearing parents into your counsel, young friends. Pray over the matter. {LYL 45.3}[30]
§71
倘若作儿女的愿意多多与父母亲近，倘若他们愿意信任父母，并将自己的喜乐与忧愁向他们倾吐，他们将来就能免除许多痛心的事了。当他们感到困惑而无所适从之时，就当将自己对此事所有的看法禀告父母，并求教于他们。谁能象敬畏上帝的父母那样适于指出他们的危险来呢？谁能象他们那样了解儿女特有的性情呢？身为基督徒的作儿女的人，必视自己敬畏上帝的父母的爱与嘉许比一切世俗的福分更可贵。父母能同情儿女，并能和他们一起为他们祷告，求上帝庇佑并引导他们。{LYL 45.4}[31]
§72
If children would be more familiar with their parents, if they would confide in them, and unburden to them their joys and sorrows, they would save themselves many a future heartache. When perplexed to know what course is right, let them lay the matter just as they view it before their parents and ask advice of them. Who are so well calculated to point out their dangers as godly parents? Who can understand their peculiar temperaments so well as they? Children who are Christians will esteem above every earthly blessing the love and approbation of their God-fearing parents. The parents can sympathize with the children, and pray for and with them that God will shield and guide them. {LYL 45.4}[31]
§73
（这封信强调对父母的责任。汉斯显然在追求那个姑娘，而不顾她父母的强烈反对，根本不考虑他们的感受。这就提出了在选择妻子时是否要考虑其父母的问题。就与他们的关系来说，这样的婚姻以后会发生什么事呢？怀爱伦指出了值得考虑的后果。）{LYL 46.1}[32]
§74
（THIS LETTER BRINGS INTO FOCUS THE THOUGHT OF RESPONSIBILITY TO PARENTS. IT IS CLEAR THAT HANS IS TRYING TO URGE HIMSELF UPON THE GIRL, AGAINST THE STRONG OPPOSITION OF HER PARENTS, AND WITHOUT CONCERN FOR THEIR FEELINGS AT ALL. THIS SITUATION RAISES THE QUESTION OF WHETHER PARENTS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED IN THE PROCESS OF CHOOSING A WIFE. WHAT HAPPENS AFTER SUCH A MARRIAGE AS FAR AS RELATIONS WITH THEM ARE CONCERNED? ELLEN WHITE POSES SUCH CONSEQUENCES WORTH CONSIDERING.）{LYL 46.1}[32]
§75
1885年12月16日写于瑞士日内瓦[33]
§76
Geneva, Switzerland December 16, 1885[33]
§77
亲爱的汉斯：
§78
我知道你想就你在与梅耶弟兄女儿的婚事上所遇到的麻烦征求我的意见。我听说你所爱之人的父亲不愿意将女儿嫁给你。我对你的失望深表同情，但我要说：“谁能比父母更关心自己的儿女呢？” {LYL 47.1}[34]
§79
Dear Hans:
§80
I understand that you have desired to have my judgment in regard to matters that trouble you in reference to marriage with Brother Meyers daughter. I understand that the father of the one upon whom you have placed your affections is not willing that his daughter should connect with you in marriage. While I would feel due sympathy for you because of your disappointment, I would say, Who should feel interested in his own child more than her own father; and also her mother? {LYL 47.1}[34]
§81
你违背父母的意愿在这件事上强求，这证明圣灵没有在你心中居首位，对你的生活没有控制力。你有强烈的意志，坚定持久的决心去实现你着手做的事情。{LYL 47.2}[35]
§82
The very fact of your urgency of this matter against the wishes of the parents is evidence that the Spirit of God has not the first place in your heart and a controlling power upon your life. You have a strong will, a firm, persistent determination to carry out anything you have entered upon. {LYL 47.2}[35]
§83
我的弟兄愿意省察自己的心，分析自己的动机，看看自己在所有事情上是否专心注目于上帝的荣耀吗？我蒙指示，看到在瑞士的几个人的情形。他们在婚姻问题上过于费心，甚至全神贯注，竟致不适于去做上帝要他们做的工作。{LYL 47.3}[36]
§84
Will my brother please look to his own spirit and criticize his motives and see if he has a single eye in this matter to act in all things for the glory of God? I was shown the cases of several in Switzerland who were very much exercised upon the subject of marriage, that they had their minds so fully engrossed with this subject that they were disqualifying themselves to do the work God would have them to do. {LYL 47.3}[36]
§85
我蒙指示看到有一个年轻人想成为梅耶弟兄家的一员。梅耶弟兄似乎不接受他。他处在极大的考验中，心中极其焦虑苦恼。我只能认定这个年轻人就是你。无论从什么意义上说，这个年轻人都还不适合承担为人夫为人父的责任。如果现在结婚了，就会导致极大的不幸。{LYL 47.4}[37]
§86
There was a young man shown me who was seeking to become one of the family of Brother Meyers whom he did not seem to accept. He was in great trial and worriment of mind. I cannot but think this applies to you. This brother was not fitted in any sense to take the responsibilities of a husband or of a family, and should the union be formed now there would be great unhappiness as the result. {LYL 47.4}[37]
§87
现在，我的弟兄啊，我给你的忠告是把你的心和你的爱情都献给上帝，并且把你自己放在上帝的祭坛上。{LYL 47.5}[38]
§88
Now, my brother, my advice is for you to give your mind and affections to God and lay yourself on the altar of God. {LYL 47.5}[38]
§89
必须尊重第五条诫命。如果人们比以前更加尊重这条诫命，如果儿女们能孝顺自己的父母并如此尊荣他们，就可以避免多少苦难和悲哀啊！没有经验的孩子看不清楚什么是对她最好的，也不知道如何聪明地选择一个能使她的生活愉快幸福的伴侣。不幸的婚姻乃是会临到双方的最大灾难。{LYL 47.6}[39]
§90
There is the fifth commandment that must be respected. Had this commandment been more respected than it has been,--had children been obedient to their parents and thus honored them,-- how much suffering and misery would have been spared! The inexperienced child cannot discern what is for her best good, and how to wisely choose a companion who will make her life pleasant and happy; and an unhappy marriage is the greatest calamity that can befall both parties. {LYL 47.6}[39]
§91
我的弟兄愿意省察自己的心，看看自己是否在上帝的爱中吗？愿意看看自己因为梅耶弟兄不同意你和她女儿结合而对他产生了什么看法吗？如果你确实在基督的门下学习负祂的轭，担祂的担子，学习耶稣心里柔和谦卑，你就不会那么固执己见，一意孤行了。{LYL 48.1}[40]
§92
Will my brother closely examine his heart and see whether he is in the love of God or not? Will he see what feelings are arising there against Brother Meyer because he cannot bring his mind to consent to there being a union between you and his daughter? If you were indeed learning in the school of Christ to wear His yoke, to lift His burdens, to learn of Jesus meekness and lowliness of heart, you would not urge your will and your wishes so persistently. {LYL 48.1}[40]
§93
切莫不顾一切地强行要达到你的目的。要马上停下来问道：“是什么精神在控制着我呢？”你在全心全意爱上帝吗？你在爱人如己吗？{LYL 48.2}[41]
§94
Do not unfit yourself through your strong will to carry your points at all hazards. Stop where you are and inquire, What is the spirit that controls me? Are you loving God with all your heart? Are you loving your neighbor as yourself? {LYL 48.2}[41]
§95
梅耶弟兄女儿的第一要务是顺从她的父母，尊荣她的父母。如果你不再使她的心处于一处非常不安定的状态、以致她无法尽到对父母的本分，她是能做到这一点的。{LYL 48.3}[42]
§96
The very first duty that rests upon Brother Meyers daughter is to obey her parents, to honor her father and her mother. This she can do if you will not keep her mind in a state so unsettled that she cannot do her duty to her parents. {LYL 48.3}[42]
§97
母亲需要自己孩子的帮助，而当她再长大几岁时，她才会更懂得如何选择一个会使她生活平稳而幸福的丈夫。一个女人如果在家庭生活中最小的事情上都愿意总是听命于人，愿意放弃她的特性，那么她在世上就决不会成为一个有用的人，也不会成为别人的福气，实行上帝在她身上的旨意。她只是一台机器，要受另一个意志和另一个心思所支配。无论男女，上帝已经赐给每个人一种特性，一种个性。所有的人都必须亲自存敬畏上帝的心行事。{LYL 48.4}[43]
§98
The mother needs the help of her child, and when she will become a few years older, she will understand better how to choose a husband who will make her life smooth and happy. A woman who will submit to be ever dictated to in the smallest matters of domestic life, who will yield up her identity, will never be of much use or blessing in the world and will not answer the purpose of God in her existence. She is a mere machine, to be guided by anothers will and anothers mind. God has given each one, men and women, an identity, an individuality. All must act in the fear of God for themselves. {LYL 48.4}[43]
§99
世界上既有很多不幸的婚姻，那么父母小心谨慎，想要保护自己的孩子不与人建立任何可能不明智和不是最好的关系，我们岂可感到奇怪呢？[44]
§100
There are so many unhappy marriages. Can we be surprised that parents are cautious and want to guard their children from any connection which may not be wise and best?[44]
§101
你在基督里的姊妹 怀爱伦
§102
《怀爱伦信函》1885年25号 {LYL 48.5}[45]
§103
Your sister in Christ
§104
Ellen G. White.
§105
Letter 25, 1885 {LYL 48.5}[45]
§106
【不要保密】
§107
一个男青年与一个女青年来往交友，却背着她的父母，他就没有对她的父母履行高尚的基督徒本分。通过秘密的来往和约会，他可以赢得姑娘的芳心，但是他这样做，没有表现出上帝的儿女所应有的高贵与正直。为了达到自己的目的，他们没有光明磊落地按圣经的标准行事，这就表明他们对那些爱他们并忠实监护他们的人不诚实。在这样的情况之下，他们订立的婚约是不符合圣经的。人若引诱一个女子离开本分，使她对孝敬父母的上帝明令模糊不清，他也就不会忠实于婚姻的义务了。{LYL 49.1}[46]
§108
【Dont Keep It a Secret】
§109
A young man who enjoys the society and wins the friendship of a young lady unbeknown to her parents, does not act a noble Christian part toward her or toward her parents. Through secret communications and meetings he may gain an influence over her mind; but in so doing he fails to manifest that nobility and integrity of soul which every child of God will possess. In order to accomplish their ends, they act a part that is not frank and open and according to the Bible standard, and prove themselves untrue to those who love them and try to be faithful guardians over them. Marriages contracted under such influences are not according to the word of God. He who would lead a daughter away from duty, who would confuse her ideas of Gods plain and positive commands to obey and honor her parents, is not one who would be true to the marriage obligations. {LYL 49.1}[46]
§110
“不可偷盗”是上帝用手指写在石版上的。但是有许多人偷窃爱情却受到了原谅。这种秘密的恋爱和私下的交往一直继续下去，直到那毫无经验，不知后果的女子把感情从父母身上转移到那个倾心于她的男子身上；而这男子所采取的行径，本身已表明他不值得她爱。圣经谴责一切不诚实的行为，要求在任何环境下都要行为正直。{LYL 49.2}[47]
§111
Thou shalt not steal was written by the finger of God upon the tables of stone; yet how much underhand stealing of affections is practiced and excused. A deceptive courtship is maintained, private communications are kept up, until the affections of one who is inexperienced, and knows not whereunto these things may grow, are in a measure withdrawn from her parents and placed upon him who shows by the very course he pursues that he is unworthy of her love. The Bible condemns every species of dishonesty, and demands right doing under all circumstances. {LYL 49.2}[47]