第03章 这是真正的爱吗？
§1
第03章 这是真正的爱吗？
§2
Section Three - Is It Really Love?
§3
撒但忙于怂恿那些相互之间完全不适合的人成婚。他以此为乐，因为他这样作能比用其他方法给人类的家庭带来更多的不幸和失望。{LYL 29.1}[1]
§4
He [Satan] is busily engaged in influencing those who are wholly unsuited to each other to unite their interests. He exults in this work, for by it he can produce more misery and hopeless woe to the human family than by exercising his skill in any other direction. {LYL 29.1}[1]
§5
有许多婚姻只能导致不幸；但青年们仍然倾心于此，因为撒但诱惑他们，使他们相信若要得到幸福，就必须结婚。其实他们既缺乏自制，又没有能力维持一个家庭。凡不乐于使自己去适应对方的个性，以避免不愉快的歧见与争执的人，就不应该走这一步。{LYL 29.2}[2]
§6
Many marriages can only be productive of misery; and yet the minds of the youth run in this channel because Satan leads them there, making them believe that they must be married in order to be happy, when they have not the ability to control themselves or support a family. Those who are not willing to adapt themselves to each others disposition, so as to avoid unpleasant differences and contentions, should not take the step. {LYL 29.2}[2]
§7
婚姻问题应当加以研究，而不要着凭心血来潮。{LYL 29.3}[3]
§8
This question of marriage should be a study instead of a matter of impulse. {LYL 29.3}[3]
§9
【这是真正的爱吗？】
§10
真正的爱是一种高尚圣洁的原则，其性质与那种因感情冲动而引起的，一遇严峻的考验就忽然消失的爱是完全不同的。{LYL 29.4}[4]
§11
【Is It True Love?】
§12
True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different in character from that love which is awakened by impulse and which suddenly dies when severely tested. {LYL 29.4}[4]
§13
真正的爱并不是一种强烈、狂热、冲动的激情。反之，它的本质乃是宁静而深切的。它看透一切仅具表面的事物，而独为优良的品质所吸引。它是明智而有辨识力的，而它的专诚是真实而持久的。{LYL 30.1}[5]
§14
True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. On the contrary, it is calm and deep in its nature. It looks beyond mere externals and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding. {LYL 30.1}[5]
§15
爱是一种宝贵的恩赐，是我们从耶稣那里得来的。纯洁而神圣的爱情不是一种感觉，而是一种原则。凡为真爱所激励的人，既不是无理智的，也不是盲目的。{LYL 30.2}[6]
§16
Love is a precious gift, which we receive from Jesus. Pure and holy affection is not a feeling, but a principle. Those who are actuated by true love are neither unreasonable nor blind. {LYL 30.2}[6]
§17
温和、亲切、宽容、恒久忍耐、不轻易发怒、凡事包容，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐——这些都是上天所栽培的那棵爱的宝树上所结的果子。这棵树如果予以养护，就会成为一棵常青树。它的枝子不会衰败，叶子不会枯萎。它是不朽的，时常受天上甘露的滋润。{LYL 30.3}[7]
§18
Mildness, gentleness, forbearance, long-suffering, being not easily provoked, bearing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things--these are the fruit growing upon the precious tree of love, which is of heavenly growth. This tree, if nourished, will prove to be an evergreen. Its branches will not decay, its leaves will not wither. It is immortal, eternal watered continually by the dews of heaven. {LYL 30.3}[7]
§19
【爱是一株纤柔的植物】
§20
爱是上天所栽培的植物，必须加以培育和养护。挚爱的心，诚实、仁爱的言语，能使家庭幸福，且生发出一种提拔人的感化力，足以影响其范围所及的人。{LYL 30.4}[8]
§21
【Love, A Tender Plant】
§22
Love is a plant of heavenly growth, and it must be fostered and nourished. Affectionate hearts, truthful, loving words, will make happy families and exert an elevating influence upon all who come within the sphere of their influence. {LYL 30.4}[8]
§23
女人希望男人有坚强和高尚的品格，能博得她们的尊敬和爱。这些品格需要与温柔与爱情、忍耐与宽容结合起来。妻子则应是愉快、仁慈、忠诚、挚爱的，尽可能快地使自己的品味与丈夫的品味同化而不丧失她的个性。双方都当培养忍耐和仁慈；彼此间亲切温柔的爱，会使得婚姻生活愉快而幸福。{LYL 31.1}[9]
§24
While women want men of strong and noble characters, whom they can respect and love, these qualities need to be mingled with tenderness and affection, patience and forbearance. The wife should in her turn be cheerful, kind, and devoted, assimilating her taste to that of her husband as far as it is possible to do without losing her individually. Both parties should cultivate patience and kindness, and that tender love for each other that will make married life pleasant and enjoyable. {LYL 31.1}[9]
§25
那些对婚姻生活有不切实际的想法，其想象力所造出的空中楼阁与生活的困惑混乱和各种烦恼相去甚远的人，会悲哀地发现自己对现实无比失望。当实际生活的种种烦恼和挂虑来临时，他们完全没有准备好应付。他们希望对方是完美的，却发现了软弱和缺陷，因为男男女女都不是没有过失的。于是他们就开始彼此批评，说出自己的失望。他们不该这样，反而应该设法彼此帮助，追求实际的敬虔以帮助他们勇敢地征战人生。{LYL 31.2}[10]
§26
Those who have such high ideas of the married life, whose imagination has wrought out an air-castle picture that has naught to do with lifes perplexities and troubles, will find themselves sadly disappointed in the reality. When real life comes in with its troubles and cares, they are wholly unprepared to meet them. They expect in each other perfection, but find weakness and defects; for finite men and women are not faultless. Then they begin to find fault with each other, and to express their disappointment. Instead of this, they should try to help each other, and should seek practical godliness to help them to fight the battle of life valiantly. {LYL 31.2}[10]
§27
【爱的能力】
§28
爱是一种能力，智力与道德力都包含在爱的原则之内，不能与之分离。财富的能力会造成败坏和毁灭；权威的能力亦足以伤人；但纯洁之爱的美德和价值，却在于其行善的功效，而且惟行善而已。{LYL 31.3}[11]
§29
【The Power of Love】
§30
Love is power. Intellectual and moral strength are involved in this principle, and cannot be separated from it. The power of wealth has a tendency to corrupt and destroy; the power of force is strong to do hurt; but the excellence and value of pure love consist in its efficiency to do good, and to do nothing else than good. {LYL 31.3}[11]
§31
凡出于纯洁之爱所作成的事，不论其在人看来是何等微小或卑贱，仍是富有成效的；因为上帝所更重视的，是人发挥了多少爱，而不是做了多少事情。{LYL 32.1}[12]
§32
Whatsoever is done out of pure love, be it ever so little or contemptible in the sight of men, is wholly fruitful; for God regards more with how much love one worketh than the amount he doeth. {LYL 32.1}[12]
§33
爱是属于上帝的。未悔改的心不能生发这上天所栽培的植物，因为它只有在基督统管之处才能生长繁荣。……{LYL 32.2}[13]
§34
Love is of God. The unconverted heart cannot originate nor produce this plant of heavenly growth, which lives and flourishes only where Christ reigns.... {LYL 32.2}[13]
§35
爱的作为是不求利益不图报偿的；而上帝却已钦定每一出于爱心的操劳，结果必有伟大的收获。爱是扩散性的，爱的作用是安静的，然而它那战胜大奸巨恶的宗旨，却是坚强而有力的。在爱的感化之中，有融化及改变人心之力，会在其他一切方法证明无效之时，掌握罪人的生活，并且感动他们的心。{LYL 32.3}[14]
§36
Love works not for profit nor reward; yet God has ordained that great gain shall be the certain result of every labor of love. It is diffusive in its nature and quiet in its operation, yet strong and mighty in its purpose to overcome great evils. It is melting and transforming in its influence, and will take hold of the lives of the sinful and affect their hearts when every other means has proved unsuccessful. {LYL 32.3}[14]
§37
无论何处若是运用智力，权力，或势力，而不表现爱的能力，我们所要接触之人的感情及意志，就会采取一种防御、抵制的立场，并且会加强他们反抗的力量。{LYL 33.1}[15]
§38
Wherever the power of intellect, of authority, or of force is employed, and love is not manifestly present, the affections and will of those whom we seek to reach assume a defensive, repelling position, and their strength of resistance is increased. {LYL 33.1}[15]
§39
纯洁之爱，其运作是很简单的，与任何其他的行动原则有明显的区别。贪爱势力及欲得别人重视之心，也许会使人循规蹈矩，谈吐往往无可责备。自尊心也会使我们避免邪恶的样子。自私的心也会作出慷慨的行动，承认现代真理，并在外表上现出谦卑及爱情，而其动机却或许是欺人及不洁的；从这种心所产生的行动，会缺乏活的香气及真圣洁的果子，也缺乏纯洁之爱的原则。{LYL 33.2}[16]
§40
Pure love is simple in its operations, and is distinct from any other principle of action. The love of influence and the desire for the esteem of others may produce a well-ordered life and frequently a blameless conversation. Self-respect may lead us to avoid the appearance of evil. A selfish heart may perform generous actions, acknowledge the present truth, and express humility and affection in an outward manner, yet the motives may be deceptive and impure; the actions that flow from such a heart may be destitute of the savor of life and the fruits of true holiness, being destitute of the principles of pure love. {LYL 33.2}[16]
§41
应当珍爱并培养爱，因为爱的感化力是神圣的。{LYL 33.3}[17]
§42
Love should be cherished and cultivated, for its influence is divine. {LYL 33.3}[17]
§43
【意乱情迷之时】
§44
两人相识以后，往往彼此迷恋，缱绻缠绵。理智盲目了，判断也颠倒了。他们拒绝听取任何劝告，不受任何约束，固执己见，一意孤行，不顾后果。{LYL 33.4}[18]
§45
【When Love is Blind】
§46
Two persons become acquainted; they are infatuated with each other, and their whole attention is absorbed. Reason is blinded, and judgment is overthrown. They will not submit to any advice or control, but insist on having their own way, regardless of consequence. {LYL 33.4}[18]
§47
那辖制他们的迷恋之情，好像时疫或传染病一般，会自动蔓延开来，似乎任何事物都无法加以遏止。也许旁观者清，认识到双方若是结合，只能导致终身的不幸。但恳劝与忠告皆无效果。也许由于这样的结合，那位原本可为上帝服务蒙祂赐福之人的效能，就会受到阻碍与破坏，但是理喻与劝告全都被置若罔闻。{LYL 33.5}[19]
§48
Like some epidemic, or contagion, that must run its course, is the infatuation that possesses them; and there seems to be no such thing as putting a stop to it. Perhaps there are those around them who realize that, should the parties interested be united in marriage, it could only result in life-long unhappiness. But entreaties and exhortations are given in vain. Perhaps, by such a union, the usefulness of one whom God would bless in His service will be crippled and destroyed; but reasoning and persuasion are alike unheeded. {LYL 33.5}[19]
§49
有经验的男女所讲的一切话都不能奏效；无法改变他们随心所欲作出的决定。他们对于宗教的事物失去了兴趣，互相迷恋，疏忽了人生的责任，视之为无足轻重。{LYL 33.6}[20]
§50
All that can be said by men and women of experience proves ineffectual; it is powerless to change the decision to which their desires have led them. They lose interest in everything that pertains to religion. They are wholly infatuated with each other, and the duties of life are neglected, as if they were matters of little concern. {LYL 33.6}[20]
§51
尊贵的名誉竟牺牲于迷恋的魔力之下。这样的人便不能在上帝的嘉许之下庄严地订立婚约。他们的结合是出于情感的冲动。等到新鲜感过去之后，他们就会发觉自己所作的是什么了。结婚约六个月后，彼此之间的感情就发生了改变。各人在婚后生活中对自己所选择配偶的性格，有了更清楚的认识。各人在配偶身上发现了缺点；这些缺点在他们先前盲目和愚蠢的交往期间是不明显的。在结婚的圣坛之前所做的承诺也不能使他们结合在一起。由于仓促成婚的缘故，造成了很多分居，离婚的事，即使在自称为上帝的子民中亦是如此，给教会造成严重的混乱。{LYL 34.1}[21]
§52
The good name of honor is sacrificed under the spell of this infatuation, and the marriage of such persons cannot be solemnized under the approval of God. They are married because passion moved them, and when the novelty of the affair is over, they will begin to realize what they have done. In six months after the vows are spoken, their sentiments toward each other have undergone a change. Each has learned in married life more of the character of the companion chosen. Each discovers imperfections that, during the blindness and folly of their former association, were not apparent. The promises at the altar do not bind them together. In consequence of hasty marriages, even among the professed people of God, there are separations, divorces, and great confusion in the church. {LYL 34.1}[21]
§53
等到他们后悔莫及之时，才发觉自己错了，并且已危害到今生的幸福和灵魂的得救。他们若肯听劝，就能为自己免去多年的痛苦和忧伤，但当时他们不肯承认除了自己之外别人对此事有何见识。其实对于坚意随心所欲的人，一切劝导都是白废的。情感的冲动足以将这种人推越理智与见识所设置的一切屏障。{LYL 34.2}[22]
§54
When it is too late, they find that they have made a mistake, and have imperiled their happiness in this life and the salvation of their souls. They would not admit that any one knew anything about the matter but themselves, when if counsel had been received, they might have saved themselves years of anxiety and sorrow. But advice is only thrown away on those who are determined to have their own way. Passion carries such individuals over every barrier that reason and judgment can interpose. {LYL 34.2}[22]
§55
对于你准备与之命运与共、终身相联的那一位，要衡量其每一分情感，注意其品格的每一项发展。你所要走的乃是你一生中最重要的一步，千万不可操之过急。你尽可以恋爱，却不可盲目地恋爱。{LYL 35.1}[23]
§56
Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to link your life destiny. The step you are about to take is one of the most important in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do not love blindly. {LYL 35.1}[23]
§57
我希望你善自尊重，以避免这种谈情说爱的方式。倘若你一心顾及上帝的荣耀，就当谨慎行事。你必不容痴恋的唯情主义蒙蔽了你的眼力，以致不能辨察上帝对于你作为基督徒的崇高要求。{LYL 35.2}[24]
§58
I hope you will have self-respect enough to shun this form of courtship. If you have an eye single to the glory of God, you will move with deliberate caution. You will not suffer lovesick sentimentalism to so blind your vision that you cannot discern the high claims that God has upon you as a Christian. {LYL 35.2}[24]
§59
（这封信提出了几个有挑战性的问题。两人似乎都太年轻而不成熟，不适于考虑婚姻问题。信中提出了一些他们不成熟的证据。在女孩方面存在肤浅的问题。怀爱伦要求他们仔细考虑是真正的爱还是痴迷的问题，并督促这个年轻人要看得长远一些，不要只顾一时。）{LYL 35.3}[25]
§60
（SEVERAL CHALLENGING QUESTIONS ARE RAISED IN THIS LETTER. IT SEEMS THAT BOTH ARE TOO YOUNG AND IMMATURE TO CONSIDER MARRIAGE. SOME EVIDENCES OF IMMATURITY ARE SUGGESTED. THERE IS THE PROBLEM OF SUPERFICIALITY ON THE PART OF THE GIRL. THE QUESTION OF WHETHER IT IS REAL LOVE OR INFATUATION IS CONSIDERED. ELLEN WHITE URGES THIS YOUNG MAN TO TAKE THE LONG LOOK RATHER THAN TO THINK ONLY OF THE MOMENT. {LYL 35.3}[25]
§61
1880年6月8日写于俄勒冈州塞勒姆[26]
§62
Salem, Oregon June 8, 1880[26]
§63
【亲爱的约翰：
§64
我感到难过，因为你和伊丽莎白陷入了爱河。首先，你谈情说爱为时过早。{LYL 36.1}[27]
§65
Dear John:
§66
I am sorry that you have entangled yourself in any courtship with Elizabeth. In the first place, your anxiety upon this question is premature. {LYL 36.1}[27]
§67
作为过来人，我有些话对你说。在你考虑婚姻问题之前，要先了解自己和世界，了解这位少女的行为和品格。{LYL 36.2}[28]
§68
I speak to you as one who knows. Wait till you have some just knowledge of yourself and of the world, of the bearing and character of young women, before you let the subject of marriage possess your thoughts. {LYL 36.2}[28]
§69
伊丽莎白决不会使你高尚。她身上没有潜力，可以经过开发而成为一个有见识有能力的女人，站在你身边，帮助你打人生的仗。她缺乏品格的力量。她的想法没有深度，心思没有定向，不会对你有帮助。你看到的是表面。这就是她的全部。要是你们结婚了，吸引力不久就会消失。婚姻生活的新鲜感过去之后，你就会看到事情的真相，并发现你犯了一个可悲的错误。{LYL 36.3}[29]
§70
Elizabeth will never elevate you. She has not in her the hidden powers which, developed, would make a woman of judgment and ability to stand by your side, to help you in the battles of life. She lacks force of character. She has not depth of thought and compass of mind that will be a help to you. You see the surface and it is all there is. In a little while, should you marry, the charm would be broken. The novelty of the married life having ceased, you will see things in their real light, and find out you have made a sad mistake. {LYL 36.3}[29]
§71
爱是非常神圣的情感，很少人真正了解它。人们常用“爱”字，却并不明白。一个年轻人对另一个人冲动的热情和迷恋不是爱；这种感情不配这个名称。真爱有一种理智的基础，对所爱的对象有深刻彻底的了解。{LYL 36.4}[30]
§72
Love is a sentiment so sacred that but few know what it is. It is a term used, but not understood. The warm glow of impulse, the fascination of one young person for another is not love; it does not deserve the name. True love has an intellectual basis, a deep thorough knowledge of the object loved. {LYL 36.4}[30]
§73
要记住冲动的爱是完全盲目的，不久就会投在没价值的对象上，如同投在有价值的对象上一样。要吩咐这种爱站着别动，冷静下来，让位于真正的思考和深入认真的反省。你所钟情的对象，在智力和美德方面，在举止和教养方面，会使你自豪地将她介绍给你的父家，并在所有的场合都承认她是你的选择吗？ {LYL 36.5}[31]
§74
Remember that impulsive love is perfectly blind. It will as soon be placed on unworthy objects as worthy. Command such love to stand still and cool. Give place to genuine thought and deep, earnest reflection. Is this object of your affection, in the scale of intelligence and moral excellence, in deportment and cultivated manners such that you will feel a pride in presenting her to your fathers family, to acknowledge her in all society as the object of your choice? {LYL 36.5}[31]
§75
要给你自己足够的时间来观察每一点，不要相信你自己的判断，而要让爱你的母亲和父亲，还有可信任的朋友，对你的意中人作认真的观察。不要信赖你自己的判断。不要娶你觉得不会给你的父母带来光彩的人，而要娶有知识有美德的人。{LYL 36.6}[32]
§76
Give yourself sufficient time for observation on every point, and then do not trust to your own judgment, and let the mother who loves you, and your father, and confidential friends, make critical observations of the one you feel inclined to favor. Trust not to your own judgment, and marry no one whom you feel will not be an honor to your father and mother, one who has intelligence and moral worth. {LYL 36.6}[32]
§77
有的姑娘爱上一个人后，只要他不粗暴拒绝，她就会主动示好，尽量引起他的注意。这种姑娘你不要结交。她谈吐庸俗，往往没有深度。{LYL 37.1}[33]
§78
The girl who gives over her affections to a man, and invites his attention by her advances, hanging around where she will be noticed of him, unless he shall appear rude, is not the girl you want to associate with. Her conversation is cheap and frequently without depth. {LYL 37.1}[33]
§79
不结婚远比不幸的婚姻好。但在这一切的事上要寻求上帝的指导。要冷静，要顺从上帝的旨意，使你不会处于兴奋的狂热之中，因你的迷恋而不适合为上帝服务。{LYL 37.2}[34]
§80
It will be far better not to marry at all, than to be unfortunately married. But seek counsel of God in all these things, be so calm, so submissive to the will of God that you will not be in a fever of excitement and unqualified for His service by your attachments. {LYL 37.2}[34]
§81
我们只有很少的时间可以把好行为的财宝积存在天上。不要在这方面犯任何的错误。要用你专一的情感来侍奉上帝。要热情，要全心全意。要让你的榜样帮助其他人站在耶稣一边。年轻人不知道自己会有多大的影响力。要为今时和永恒而作工。[35]
§82
We have but little time to lay up a treasure of good works in heaven; do not make any mistake here. Serve God with your undivided affection. Be zealous, be whole-hearted. Let your example be of such a character that you will help others to take their stand for Jesus. Young men do not know what a power of influence they may have. Work for time and work for eternity.[35]
§83
你的养母 怀爱伦
§84
——《怀爱伦信函》59, 1880年59号 {LYL 37.3}[36]
§85
Your adopted mother,
§86
Ellen G. White.
§87
Letter 59, 1880 {LYL 37.3}[36]