第04章 开始公开服务
§1
第04章 开始公开服务
§2
Chapter 4—Beginning of Public Labors
§3
以前我从未在公众面前作过祷告，而且在祷告会里也只怯怯地说过几句。现在我受了感动，觉得我应当在人数不多的见证聚会中，藉着祈祷寻求上帝。我不敢这样做，惟恐临时慌乱，无法表达自己的心意。但这种责任是那么强烈地压在我的心上，甚至我何时尝试作私自祷告，就觉得好像是在亵慢上帝一样，因为我没有顺从祂的旨意。我被绝望悲观所压倒，以致三个星期之久没有一线光明穿透那围绕我的幽暗。{LS 32.1}[1]
§4
Up to this time I had never prayed in public, and had only spoken a few timid words in prayer meeting. It was now impressed upon me that I should seek God in prayer at our small social meetings. This I dared not do, fearful of becoming confused and failing to express my thoughts. But the duty was impressed upon my mind so forcibly that when I attempted to pray in secret, I seemed to be mocking God, because I had failed to obey His will. Despair overwhelmed me, and for three long weeks no ray of light pierced the gloom that encompassed me.?{LS 32.1}[1]
§5
我心中的痛苦非常剧烈。有时我整夜不敢合眼，直等我孪生姊姊已经睡熟，我就悄悄地下床来跪在地板上，默默祈求，心里有无可言喻的痛苦。地狱里永火焚烧的惨景常在我的眼前出现。我知道长此下去，我是不能再活了；可是我又不敢死，惟恐遭遇罪人那可怕的劫运。这时我对于那些承认自己已蒙上帝悦纳的人，真是何等地羡慕!在我痛苦的心灵看来，基督徒的希望该是何等地宝贵啊!{LS 32.2}[2]
§6
My sufferings of mind were intense. Sometimes for a whole night I would not dare to close my eyes, but would wait until my twin sister was fast asleep, then quietly leave my bed and kneel upon the floor, praying silently, with a dumb agony that cannot be described. The horrors of an eternally burning hell were ever before me. I knew that it was impossible for me to live long in this state, and I dared not die and meet the terrible fate of the sinner. With what envy did I regard those who realized their acceptance with God! How precious did the Christian’s hope seem to my agonized soul!?{LS 32.2}[2]
§7
我累次几乎整夜地跪祷，叹息而且颤抖，有难以言宣的痛苦，也有无法形容的绝望。我祈祷说：“主啊，开恩可怜我!”正如那可怜的税吏一般，连举目望天也不敢，只是把脸俯在地上。我的身体消瘦，气力衰弱，然而我却没有对人提说自己的痛苦与绝望。{LS 32.3}[3]
§8
I frequently remained bowed in prayer nearly all night, groaning and trembling with inexpressible anguish, and a hopelessness that passes all description. “Lord, have mercy!” was my plea, and like the poor publican I dared not lift my eyes to heaven, but bowed my face upon the floor. I became very much reduced in flesh and strength, yet kept my suffering and despair to myself.?{LS 32.3}[3]
§9
【梦见殿和羔羊】
§10
当我这样沮丧的时候，得了一个梦，在我心中留下了深刻的印象。我在梦中看见一个殿，见有许多人拥进殿去。时日终结时，惟有在殿里避难的人才能得救；凡留外面的人都会永远灭亡。许多在外面的人都各行己道，嘲笑那些进殿去的人，并对他们说，这种求得安全的方法，乃是欺骗人的诡计，因为实际上并没有什么必须躲避的危险。他们甚至于将一些人挡住，拦阻他们不要急忙进到里面去。{LS 33.1}[4]
§11
【Dream of Temple and Lamb】
§12
While in this state of despondency, I had a dream that made a deep impression upon my mind. I dreamed of seeing a temple, to which many persons were flocking. Only those who took refuge in that temple would be saved when time should close; all who remained outside would be forever lost. The multitudes without who were going about their various ways, derided and ridiculed those who were entering the temple, and told them that this plan of safety was a cunning deception, that in fact there was no danger whatever to avoid. They even laid hold of some to prevent them from hastening within the walls.?{LS 33.1}[4]
§13
那时我恐怕受到嘲笑，心想最好等众人都散开了，或是在他们看不见的时候，我才进殿去。但是人数不但未见减少，反而越来越多，我恐怕错过机会，便速速离家，挤过人群。我因切望走进殿内，故此对于四面拥挤我的人，一点也没有注意到。{LS 33.2}[5]
§14
Fearful of being ridiculed, I thought best to wait until the multitude dispersed, or until I could enter unobserved by them. But the numbers increased instead of diminishing, and fearful of being too late, I hastily left my home and pressed through the crowd. In my anxiety to reach the temple I did not notice or care for the throng that surrounded me.?{LS 33.2}[5]
§15
走进去之后，我看见这座宏伟的殿只有一根巨大的柱子支持着，柱子上缚着一个遍体受伤流血的羔羊。我们在场的人好像都知道这羔羊是为我们的缘故而被撕裂压伤的。凡进入殿内的人都必须到羔羊面前来承认自己的罪。在羔羊的面前有一排高的座位，上面坐着一群面现喜容的人。仿佛有天上的光照在他们的脸上，他们赞美上帝，并唱着快乐感谢的诗歌，仿佛天使所奏的音乐一般。这些人都已在羔羊面前承认自己的罪，并且得蒙赦免，现在他们满心欢喜地期待着一件快乐的大事来到。{LS 33.3}[6]
§16
On entering the building, I saw that the vast temple was supported by one immense pillar, and to this was tied a lamb all mangled and bleeding. We who were present seemed to know that this lamb had been torn and bruised on our account. All who entered the temple must come before it and confess their sins. Just before the lamb were elevated seats, upon which sat a company looking very happy. The light of heaven seemed to shine upon their faces, and they praised God and sang songs of glad thanksgiving that seemed like the music of the angels. These were they who had come before the lamb, confessed their sins, received pardon, and were now waiting in glad expectation of some joyful event.?{LS 33.3}[6]
§17
就在我进入殿内之后，我也不由得惧怕起来，并感觉得羞愧，因为我必须在这些人面前自卑，但我似乎是被迫向前，慢慢地绕着柱子而行，以便面向那羔羊，这时忽然有号角吹响，全殿震动，聚集在那里的圣徒都发出胜利的呐喊，有一道眩目的亮光照耀殿宇，随即又变成极其黑暗。那些快乐的会众与亮光都不见了，只留下我一个人在那可怕的静夜之中。{LS 34.1}[7]
§18
Even after I had entered the building, a fear came over me, and a sense of shame that I must humble myself before these people; but I seemed compelled to move forward, and was slowly making my way around the pillar in order to face the lamb, when a trumpet sounded, the temple shook, shouts of triumph arose from the assembled saints, an awful brightness illuminated the building, then all was intense darkness. The happy people had all disappeared with the brightness, and I was left alone in the silent horror of night.?{LS 34.1}[7]
§19
我醒过来时，心中非常痛苦。我似难相信只是作了一场梦。在我看来，我的厄运似已注定；主的灵已经离开我，永远不再回来了。{LS 34.2}[8]
§20
I awoke in agony of mind, and could hardly convince myself that I had been dreaming. It seemed to me that my doom was fixed; that the Spirit of the Lord had left me, never to return.?{LS 34.2}[8]
§21
【梦见耶稣】
§22
不久以后，我又得了一个梦。我好像是处在一种沮丧而绝望的情况之下，双手掩面，在反复地这样思想着；如果耶稣在地上的话，我就要往祂那里去，伏在祂脚前，将我的一切痛苦都告诉祂。祂决不致离弃我；祂必定要怜恤我，我也要永远爱祂，事奉祂。{LS 34.3}[9]
§23
【Dream of Seeing Jesus】
§24
Soon after this I had another dream. I seemed to be sitting in abject despair, with my face in my hands, reflecting like this: If Jesus were upon earth, I would go to Him, throw myself at His feet, and tell Him all my sufferings. He would not turn away from me; He would have mercy upon me, and I would love and serve Him always.?{LS 34.3}[9]
§25
正在这时门忽然开了，有一个身材魁梧容貌俊美的人走进来。他用怜恤的目光望着我，对我说：“你愿意见耶稣么？祂就在这里，如果你愿意，你就可以见到祂。带着你一切所有的来跟我去。”{LS 34.4}[10]
§26
Just then the door opened, and a person of beautiful form and countenance entered. He looked upon me pitifully, and said: “Do you wish to see Jesus? He is here, and you can see Him if you desire it. Take everything you possess, and follow me.”?{LS 34.4}[10]
§27
我听了这话，心里有说不出的快乐，于是就欢欢喜喜地收集我所有的一点东西，和每一件宝贝的小饰物，跟随我的向导走去。他领我到一个显然不很坚固而险峻的阶梯。当我走上阶梯时，他警告我要目不转睛地一直向上看，否则就会感到晕眩而跌下去。曾有许多人攀登这个险峻的阶梯，结果还没有爬到顶上就摔下去了。{LS 34.5}[11]
§28
I heard this with unspeakable joy, and gladly gathered up all my little possessions, every treasured trinket, and followed my guide. He led me to a steep and apparently frail stairway. As I began to ascend the steps, he cautioned me to keep my eyes fixed upward, lest I should grow dizzy and fall. Many?others who were climbing the steep ascent fell before gaining the top.?{LS 34.5}[11]
§29
我们终于走到最后一级，站在一个门前了。我的向导就指示我将所带来的东西留在那里。我欣然地把这一切放下，他便将门打开命我进去。一会儿我就站在耶稣面前了。祂那佳美的面容，我是绝不会认错的；因为祂所显出的仁爱和威荣，决非他人所有。当祂定睛望着我的时候，我立刻就知道祂是熟悉我一切生活境况、洞悉我内心一切思想和感觉的。{LS 35.1}[12]
§30
Finally we reached the last step, and stood before a door. Here my guide directed me to leave all the things that I had brought with me. I cheerfully laid them down. He then opened the door, and bade me enter. In a moment I stood before Jesus. There was no mistaking that beautiful countenance; that expression of benevolence and majesty could belong to no other. As His gaze rested upon me, I knew at once that He was acquainted with every circumstance of my life and all my inner thoughts and feelings.?{LS 35.1}[12]
§31
我设法要躲避祂的目光，因我觉得受不住祂那洞察人心的凝视；但祂却带着微笑走近我，按手在我头上说：“不要怕。”祂那温和的声音振奋了我的心，使我得着一种从未体验过的快乐。我真是太高兴了，甚至一句话也说不出来，只是被强烈的情绪所胜，就仆倒在祂脚前。当我伏在地上软弱无力的时候，有许多华美荣耀的景象从我面前经过，我似乎已经到了天国稳妥平安之境。终于我的气力恢复了，我便站起来。耶稣那充满怜爱的眼睛仍然望着我，祂的微笑使我的心灵充满了快乐。祂的临格激起了我圣洁的敬畏和说不出的爱慕。{LS 35.2}[13]
§32
I tried to shield myself from His gaze, feeling unable to endure His searching eyes; but He drew near with a smile, and laying His hand upon my head, said, “Fear not.” The sound of His sweet voice thrilled my heart with a happiness it had never before experienced. I was too joyful to utter a word, but, overcome with emotion, sank prostrate at His feet. While I was lying helpless there, scenes of beauty and glory passed before me, and I seemed to have reached the safety and peace of heaven. At length my strength returned, and I arose. The loving eyes of Jesus were still upon me, and His smile filled my soul with gladness. His presence awoke in me a holy reverence and an inexpressible love.?{LS 35.2}[13]
§33
这时我的向导就把门打开，我们便走出门外。他叫我从新拿起我先前留在门外的东西。然后他又递给我一条盘得紧紧的绿绳子。他指示我将这条绳子放在靠近胸口的地方，何时我想要见耶稣，就可从胸前拿出这条绳子来尽量伸直。他警告我不可让那绳子盘结太久，以免成了死结，不容易再拉直。于是我将这条绳子放在我的胸口，满心愉快地走下那狭窄的阶梯，一面赞美主，一面告诉我所遇见的众人他们在什么地方可以寻见耶稣。{LS 35.3}[14]
§34
My guide now opened the door, and we both passed out. He bade me take up again all the things I had left without. This done, he handed me a green cord coiled up closely. This he directed me to place next my heart, and when I wished to see Jesus, take it from my bosom, and stretch it to the utmost. He cautioned me not to let it remain coiled for any length of time, lest it should become knotted and difficult to straighten. I placed the cord near my heart, and?joyfully descended the narrow stairs, praising the Lord, and telling all whom I met where they could find Jesus.?{LS 35.3}[14]
§35
这梦使我有了希望。在我看来，那绿色的绳子就代表信心，如此信赖上帝的美妙和单纯就如同曙光一样渐渐向我的心灵启明了。{LS 36.1}[15]
§36
This dream gave me hope. The green cord represented faith to my mind, and the beauty and simplicity of trusting in God began to dawn upon my soul.?{LS 36.1}[15]
§37
【友善的同情和劝勉】
§38
此时我将所有的忧愁和困恼都告诉了我的母亲。她很亲切地同情我鼓励我，并劝我去请教斯托克曼长老；那时他正在波特兰传扬基督复临的要道。我对他非常信任，因为他是基督的忠仆。他听了我的经历之后，便很亲切地按手在我头上，含着满眶的眼泪对我说：“爱伦，你现在不过是一个小孩子。一个人在你这样幼小的年龄能有这样的经验，真是少有的。耶稣一定是在预备你为祂作一番特别的工作。”{LS 36.2}[16]
§39
【Friendly Sympathy and Counsel】
§40
I now confided all my sorrows and perplexities to my mother. She tenderly sympathized with and encouraged me, advising me to go for counsel to Elder Stockman, who then preached the advent doctrine in Portland. I had great confidence in him, for he was a devoted servant of Christ. Upon hearing my story, he placed his hand affectionately upon my head, saying with tears in his eyes: “Ellen, you are only a child. Yours is a most singular experience for one of your tender age. Jesus must be preparing you for some special work.”?{LS 36.2}[16]
§41
随后他又告诉我，即使我是一个成年人，并且如此被疑惑和绝望所困，他也能告诉我，他确知我藉着耶稣的爱还是有希望的。我心中所受到的痛苦就是一个明确的凭据，证明主的灵是在与我相争。他说当罪人在罪中顽梗不化的时候，他就看不出自己罪恶的沉重，反要自庆自慰，以为自己做得还不错，也不致遭遇到什么危险。主的灵便要离开他，他就会变成疏忽，冷淡，或胆大妄为。这位善人也告诉我关于上帝对祂犯罪的子女所怀的慈爱；祂不但不欢喜看到他们灭亡，反而极愿吸引他们凭着单纯的信心和依靠来归向祂，他又强调基督伟大的爱和救赎的计划。{LS 36.3}[17]
§42
He then told me that even if I were a person of mature years and thus harassed by doubt and despair, he would tell me that he knew there was hope for me through the love of Jesus. The very agony of mind I had suffered was positive evidence that the Spirit of the Lord was striving with me. He said that when the sinner becomes hardened in guilt, he does not realize the enormity of his transgression, but flatters himself that he is about right, and in no particular danger. The Spirit of the Lord leaves him, and he becomes careless and indifferent or recklessly defiant. This good man told me of the love of God for His erring children; that instead of rejoicing in their destruction, He longed to draw them to Himself in simple faith and trust. He dwelt upon the great love of Christ and the plan of redemption.?{LS 36.3}[17]
§43
斯托克曼长老提到我童年不幸的遭遇，并说那确是很惨痛的经验，但他劝我相信慈爱天父的手并没有从我身上收回；等到来生，当那笼罩在我心上的云雾消散的时候，我就会明白这似乎非常残酷而玄妙莫测的经验，乃是天意的智慧。耶稣对祂的门徒说：“我所作的，你如今不知道，后来必明白”(约13:7)。在那伟大的将来，我们再不对着镜子观看模糊不清，却要面对面地看明神圣之爱的奥秘了。{LS 37.1}[18]
§44
Elder Stockman spoke of my early misfortune, and said it was indeed a grievous affliction, but he bade me believe that the hand of a loving Father had not been withdrawn from me; that in the future life, when the mist that then darkened my mind had vanished, I would discern the wisdom of the providence which had seemed so cruel and mysterious. Jesus said to His disciples, “What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.”?John 13:7. In the great future we should no longer see as through a glass darkly, but come face to face with the mysteries of divine love.?{LS 37.1}[18]
§45
他对我说：“爱伦，你只管放心吧！你可以回家去，全心信靠耶稣，因为祂对于一切真心寻求祂的人，决不会扣留祂的爱。”随后他就为我恳切地祷告，看来即或我卑微的请求不蒙垂听，而这位圣徒的祈祷总是会蒙上帝应允的。当我听到这位以色列的教师温柔智慧的劝勉时，我便大放宽心，那束缚我的悲惨的疑惧消散无余了。我与他分离之时，满心安慰，大得鼓励。{LS 37.2}[19]
§46
“Go free, Ellen,” said he; “return to your home trusting in Jesus, for He will not withhold His love from any true seeker.” He then prayed earnestly for me, and it seemed that God would certainly regard the prayer of His saint, even if my humble petitions were unheard. My mind was much relieved, and the wretched slavery of doubt and fear departed as I listened to the wise and tender counsel of this teacher in Israel. I left his presence comforted and encouraged.?{LS 37.2}[19]
§47
在我从斯托克曼长老得到指教的短短几分钟内，我对于上帝的大爱和温慈的怜悯所得到的认识，比我以往从一切讲道与劝勉之中所领受的还多。
§48
During the few minutes in which I received instruction from Elder Stockman, I had obtained more knowledge on the subject of God’s love and pitying tenderness, than from all the sermons and exhortations to which I had ever listened.?{LS 37.3}[20]
§49
【我的第一次公众祷告】
§50
我回家之后，再到主面前许愿：只要有耶稣的笑容鼓舞我的心，我就愿意从事并忍受祂所要我做的任何事。那从前烦扰我心的义务又在我面前出现了，——就是要我在上帝百姓的会中背起我的十字架。机会很快就来到了。在我叔叔家有一次祈祷聚会，我便前往参加。{LS 37.4}[21]
§51
【My First Public Prayer】
§52
I returned home, and again went before the Lord, promising to do and suffer anything He might require of me, if only the smiles of Jesus might cheer my heart. The same duty was again presented to me that had troubled my mind before,—to take up my cross among the assembled people of God. An?opportunity was not long wanting; there was a prayer meeting that evening at my uncle’s, which I attended.?{LS 37.4}[21]
§53
当别人都跪下祈祷的时候，我也和他们一同跪下，全身发颤，及至几个人祷告过了，我也不知不觉地发出祷告的声音。那时上帝的应许向我显明，好像许多宝贵的珍珠，只要求就可以得着。当我祷告的时候，我忍受已久的心灵上痛苦的重担都离开了，主的福惠便像甘露降在我身上。我从心灵的深处赞美上帝。除了耶稣和祂的荣耀，各样事物似乎都与我隔绝，于是我便对四围所发生的事完全失去知觉了。{LS 38.1}[22]
§54
As the others knelt for prayer, I bowed with them, trembling, and after a few had prayed, my voice arose in prayer before I was aware of it. In that moment the promises of God appeared to me like so many precious pearls that were to be received only for the asking. As I prayed, the burden and agony of soul that I had so long endured, left me, and the blessing of the Lord descended upon me like the gentle dew. I praised God from the depths of my heart. Everything seemed shut out from me but Jesus and His glory, and I lost consciousness of what was passing around me.?{LS 38.1}[22]
§55
上帝的灵大有能力地降在我身上，以致那天晚上我不能回到家里去。等我醒过来之后，发现自己仍然留在叔父家里，也就是在我们原来举行祈祷聚会的地方。我的叔父和婶母对于宗教都没有兴趣。虽然叔父过去曾经一度侍奉过基督，却已冷淡背道了。后来我听说，那天晚上当上帝的能力那样显著地降在我身上的时候，他曾大受感动，并在房间里走来走去，心里感觉非常不安与苦恼。{LS 38.2}[23]
§56
The Spirit of God rested upon me with such power that I was unable to go home that night. When I awakened to realization, I found myself cared for in the house of my uncle, where we had assembled for the prayer meeting. Neither my uncle nor my aunt enjoyed religion, although the former had once made a profession, but had since backslidden. I was told that he had been greatly disturbed while the power of God rested upon me in so special a manner, and had walked the floor, sorely troubled and distressed in his mind.?{LS 38.2}[23]
§57
当我初次仆倒在地的时候，在场的几个人大为惊慌，想要跑去请一位医生来，以为我得了什么危险的急症；可是我的母亲却叫他们不要管我，因为她和其他几位有经验的基督徒都很明白，我仆倒乃是由于上帝奇妙的能力所致。等我第二天回家的时候，我的心里已经起了很大的改变。在我看来，我再不是前一天晚上从我父亲家里出来的那个人了。我思想中常记念着这节经文：“耶和华是我的牧者，我必不至缺乏”（诗23:1）。当我轻轻地反复背诵这两句话时，我的内心充满了喜乐。
§58
When I was first struck down, some of those present were greatly alarmed, and were about to run for a physician, thinking that some sudden and dangerous indisposition had attacked me; but my mother bade them let me alone, for it was plain to her, and to the other experienced Christians, that it was the wondrous power of God that had prostrated me. When I did return home, on the following day, a great change had taken place in my mind. It seemed to me that I could hardly be the same person that left my father’s?house the previous evening. This passage was continually in my thoughts: “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.”?Psalm 23:1. My heart was full of happiness as I softly repeated these words.?{LS 38.3}[24]
§59
【对天父之爱的认识】
§60
现在我心里充满了信心。我觉得有一种莫可言喻的爱上帝之心，并且有祂的灵证明我的罪已得蒙赦免。我对于天父的观念也与过去不同了。我现在看他是一位仁慈温和的父，而不再是一个强迫人盲目服从的严厉暴君了。我的心以深切而热烈的爱向往祂。我以顺从祂的旨意为乐；并以为祂服务而感到荣幸。再没有阴云使那向我显示上帝完美旨意的亮光晦黯不明。我确知在我心中有救主居住，并且体会到基督所曾经说过的真理：“跟从我的，就不在黑暗里走，必要得着生命的光”(约8:12)。{LS 39.1}[25]
§61
【A View of the Father’s Love】
§62
Faith now took possession of my heart. I felt an inexpressible love for God, and had the witness of His Spirit that my sins were pardoned. My views of the Father were changed. I now looked upon Him as a kind and tender parent, rather than a stern tyrant compelling men to a blind obedience. My heart went out toward Him in a deep and fervent love. Obedience to His will seemed a joy; it was a pleasure to be in His service. No shadow clouded the light that revealed to me the perfect will of God. I felt the assurance of an indwelling Saviour, and realized the truth of what Christ had said: “He that followeth Me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”?John 8:12.?{LS 39.1}[25]
§63
我现在的平安和快乐，与我先前的忧郁和痛苦，成了显著的对比，甚至令我感觉自己好像是从地狱里拯救出来而被送到了天国一样。我甚至为那折磨我一生的不幸遭遇，也能赞美上帝，因为这件事竟成了使我思想专注于永生的媒介。若不是这场严重的苦难使我隔绝了世俗的成功和虚荣，我那本性的骄傲与野心可能会使我不肯将心献给耶稣。{LS 39.2}[26]
§64
My peace and happiness were in such marked contrast with my former gloom and anguish that it seemed to me as if I had been rescued from hell and transported to heaven. I could even praise God for the misfortune that had been the trial of my life, for it had been the means of fixing my thoughts upon eternity. Naturally proud and ambitious, I might not have been inclined to give my heart to Jesus had it not been for the sore affliction that had cut me off, in a manner, from the triumphs and vanities of the world.?{LS 39.2}[26]
§65
半年之久我的心灵没有一点暗影，我也没有忽略一项我所当尽的本分。我献上全部的精力来实现上帝的旨意，并且不断地思念耶稣和天国。基督的救赎和祂的工作这时极清晰地向我显明，使我不胜惊讶，大为喜乐。我不必再多解释我当时的思想情况了；总之，旧事已过，一切都变成新的了。再没有什么阴影可以损坏我美满的福乐。我渴望述说耶稣仁爱的故事，但我却不想与任何人作凡俗的交谈。我心里充满了对上帝的爱和那出人意外的平安，因此我很喜欢默想和祈祷。{LS 39.3}[27]
§66
For six months not a shadow clouded my mind, nor did I neglect one known duty. My whole endeavor was to do the will of God, and keep Jesus and heaven continually in mind. I was surprised and?enraptured with the clear views now presented to me of the atonement and the work of Christ. I will not attempt to further explain the exercises of my mind; suffice it to say that old things had passed away, all things had become new. There was not a cloud to mar my perfect bliss. I longed to tell the story of Jesus’ love, but felt no disposition to engage in common conversation with any one. My heart was so filled with love to God and the peace that passeth understanding, that I loved to meditate and pray.?{LS 39.3}[27]
§67
【作见证】
§68
在我领受了这么大的福惠之后的第二晚，我去参加了一次复临运动的聚会。当时机来到让基督徒为主作见证时，我再也不能保持缄默，便站了起来述说我的经验。当时我并没有想到我应该讲什么话；但耶稣对我的爱这单纯的故事竟从我口中滔滔而出，我的心也脱离了黑暗与失望的捆绑而感到非常地快乐，甚至对于周围的听众竟毫无所觉，似乎是单独和上帝同在。除了因感恩的泪而话语间断以外，我毫无困难地述说了我心中的平安与喜乐。{LS 40.1}[28]
§69
【Bearing Testimony】
§70
The night after receiving so great a blessing, I attended the advent meeting. When the time came for the followers of Christ to speak in His favor, I could not remain silent, but rose and related my experience. Not a thought had entered my mind of what I should say; but the simple story of Jesus’ love to me fell from my lips with perfect freedom, and my heart was so happy to be liberated from its bondage of dark despair, that I lost sight of the people about me, and seemed to be alone with God. I found no difficulty in expressing my peace and happiness, except for the tears of gratitude that choked my utterance.?{LS 40.1}[28]
§71
斯托克曼长老当时也在场。他最近曾见过我陷于极度的绝望之中，既见我的束缚已被解除，他便大受感动，潸然泪下，和我一同快乐，并为这显明上帝怜悯与慈爱的凭据而赞美祂。{LS 40.2}[29]
§72
Elder Stockman was present. He had recently seen me in deep despair, and as he now saw my captivity turned, he wept aloud, rejoicing with me, and praising God for this proof of His tender mercy and loving kindness.?{LS 40.2}[29]
§73
在我领受了这次的大福惠之后不久，我参赴了在基督徒会堂召开的一次联合聚会。布朗长老是该堂的主任。我被邀请讲述我的经验；我不但觉得讲话时非常自由，同时也因讲说耶稣爱我的简单故事并因得蒙上帝的悦纳而感到快乐。当我以驯服的心怀和满眶的热泪讲话时，我的心灵似乎因感谢而被提往天上。有上帝融化人心的能力降在聚会的众人身上。许多人感动得流泪不止，其他的人则开口赞美上帝。{LS 40.3}[30]
§74
Not long after receiving this great blessing, I attended a conference meeting at the Christian church, where Elder Brown was pastor. I was invited to relate my experience, and felt not only great freedom of expression, but happiness, in telling my simple story of the love of Jesus and the joy of being?accepted of God. As I spoke, with subdued heart and tearful eyes, my soul seemed drawn toward heaven in thanksgiving. The melting power of the Lord came upon the assembled people. Many were weeping and others praising God.?{LS 40.3}[30]
§75
当呼召罪人起立为之代祷时，许多人便应声而起。我的心非常地感谢上帝所赐给我的福气，因此我切望别人也可以与我分享这圣洁的福乐。我极其关心那些因罪孽的重担并感觉上帝的不悦而精神痛苦的人。当我叙述自己的经验时，我感到没有人能抗拒那使我有了奇妙改变的上帝赦罪之爱的确实凭据。我对真正悔改的实况非常清楚，所以愿意帮助我的青年朋友们进入光明，并千方百计为此目的而发挥我的影响。{LS 41.1}[31]
§76
Sinners were invited to arise for prayers, and many responded to the call. My heart was so thankful to God for the blessing He had given me, that I longed to have others participate in this sacred joy. My mind was deeply interested for those who might be suffering under a sense of the Lord’s displeasure and the burden of sin. While relating my experience, I felt that no one could resist the evidence of God’s pardoning love that had wrought so wonderful a change in me. The reality of true conversion seemed so plain to me that I felt like helping my young friends into the light, and at every opportunity exerted my influence toward this end.?{LS 41.1}[31]
§77
【为青年朋友作工】
§78
我安排了与青年朋友的聚会。他们中有一些年龄比我大得多，有几位是已婚的。中间也不乏爱慕虚荣而漫不经心的人；他们视我的经验为无意义的闲聊，所以没有听我的恳劝。但我决心非让我所关心的可爱生灵都信服上帝，就决不罢休。我用了几个整夜的功夫为我所召集来的人祷告，好为他们作工，并与他们一同祈祷。{LS 41.2}[32]
§79
【Laboring for Young Friends】
§80
I arranged meetings with my young friends, some of whom were considerably older than myself, and a few were married persons. A number of them were vain and thoughtless; my experience sounded to them like an idle tale, and they did not heed my entreaties. But I determined that my efforts should never cease till these dear souls, for whom I had so great an interest, yielded to God. Several entire nights were spent by me in earnest prayer for those whom I had sought out and brought together for the purpose of laboring and praying with them.?{LS 41.2}[32]
§81
他们中间有一些人是怀着好奇而来的，想听听我究竟说什么；还有一些人认为我这样坚持不懈地努力，也许是精神错乱了，尤其是他们对于自己的得救问题，显得并不在意。但是在我们每一次小聚会中，我依然恒切地分别劝勉他们每一个人，并为他们祷告，直到每一个人都归服耶稣，并承认祂赦罪之爱的功劳为止。后来每一个人都悔改归向了上帝。{LS 41.3}[33]
§82
Some of these had met with us from curiosity to hear what I had to say; others thought me beside myself to be so persistent in my efforts, especially when they manifested no concern on their own part.?But at every one of our little meetings I continued to exhort and pray for each one separately, until every one had yielded to Jesus, acknowledging the merits of His pardoning love. Every one was converted to God.?{LS 41.3}[33]
§83
我夜夜在睡梦中似乎都在从事救灵工作。在这样的时候，我特别看到了几个人的情况；后来就去找到这些人，与他们一同祷告。结果除了一个人之外，这些人都献身归主了。一些较为注重形式的弟兄怕我在救人的事上太热心了；但我却以为时间太短促，所以凡具有永生洪福之望并仰望基督早日复临的人，都应当不断地努力，为那些仍然留在罪中而濒临可怕之灭亡边缘的人作工。{LS 42.1}[34]
§84
Night after night in my dreams I seemed to be laboring for the salvation of souls. At such times special cases were presented to my mind; these I afterward sought out and prayed with. In every instance but one these persons yielded themselves to the Lord. Some of our more formal brethren feared that I was too zealous for the conversion of souls; but time seemed to me so short that it behooved all who had a hope of a blessed immortality and looked for the soon coming of Christ, to labor without ceasing for those who were still in their sins and standing on the awful brink of ruin.?{LS 42.1}[34]
§85
我虽然年纪很轻，但救恩的计划已经非常清楚地向我显明，并且我亲身的经验又是如此显著，因此在我考虑之后，就认明自己有继续努力拯救宝贵生灵的义务，并利用每一个机会来祷告并承认基督。我已全然地献身为主服务。我决定无论如何一定要求得蒙上帝的喜悦，并使我的生活表明我是在盼望救主复临来赏赐忠心的人。我觉得自己来到上帝面前，就如同小孩子来到父亲面前，问祂要我作什么事。及至所应尽的本分向我显明时，我就欣然以赴。有时我遇到了一些特别的考验。一般比我年龄较长经验较多的人，总想拦阻我并冷却我信心的火焰；但既有耶稣的笑容常使我的生活充满光明，又有上帝的爱在我心里，我就本着愉快的精神勇往直前了。{LS 42.2}[35]
§86
Though I was very young, the plan of salvation was so clear to my mind, and my personal experience had been so marked, that, upon considering the matter, I knew it was my duty to continue my efforts for the salvation of precious souls, and to pray and confess Christ at every opportunity. My entire being was offered to the service of my Master. Let come what would, I determined to please God, and live as one who expected the Saviour to come and reward the faithful. I felt like a little child coming to God as to my father, and asking Him what He would have me to do. Then as my duty was made plain to me, it was my greatest happiness to perform it. Peculiar trials sometimes beset me. Those older in experience than myself endeavored to hold me back and cool the ardor of my faith; but with the smiles of Jesus brightening my life, and the love of God in my heart, I went on my way with a joyful spirit.?{LS 42.2}[35]