第33章 家庭的感化力
§1
第33章 家庭的感化力
§2
Chap. 33 - Home Influences
§3
家庭应该是世界上最吸引儿童的地方。母亲的同在应该是最有吸引力的。儿童的天性是敏感爱人的，容易高兴，也容易伤心。母亲可以用温和的训练和慈爱的言行使儿女与自己心连心。{MH 388.1}
§4
The home should be to the children the most attractive place in the world, and the mothers presence should be its greatest attraction. Children have sensitive, loving natures. They are easily pleased and easily made unhappy. By gentle discipline, in loving words and acts, mothers may bind their children to their hearts. {MH 388.1}[1]
§5
小孩子喜欢伴侣，不大乐意独处。他们渴望呵护和同情。他们以为自己所欢喜的，母亲也一定欢喜。他们有什么小小的快乐或苦恼，自然会带到母亲那里。母亲不可用冷淡的态度来伤他们敏感的心。在她所看来的小事，在孩子们看来却是极为重要的。她的同情和称赞非常宝贵。褒奖的神色，鼓励的话语，必如阳光照在他们心里，往往使他们整天快乐。{MH 388.2}
§6
Young children love companionship and can seldom enjoy themselves alone. They yearn for sympathy and tenderness. That which they enjoy they think will please mother also, and it is natural for them to go to her with their little joys and sorrows. The mother should not wound their sensitive hearts by treating with indifference matters that, though trifling to her, are of great importance to them. Her sympathy and approval are precious. An approving glance, a word of encouragement or commendation, will be like sunshine in their hearts, often making the whole day happy. {MH 388.2}[2]
§7
母亲不要厌烦儿童的纠缠和吵闹，把他们赶开，而要为他们安排一些娱乐或轻松的工作，使他们能动手动脑。{MH 388.3}
§8
Instead of sending her children from her, that she may not be annoyed by their noise or troubled by their little wants, let the mother plan amusement or light work to employ the active hands and minds. {MH 388.3}[3]
§9
母亲若能与儿童表同情，指导他们的娱乐和工作，就会得到他们的信任。这样，她就能更有效地纠正错误的习惯，抵制自私或发火的表现。在适当的时候说劝戒和责备的话，具有很大的价值。母亲若有忍耐诚恳的爱，就能把儿童的思想转向正确的方向，并在他们心中培养善良可爱的性情。{MH 389.1}
§10
By entering into their feelings and directing their amusements and employments, the mother will gain the confidence of her children, and she can the more effectually correct wrong habits, or check the manifestations of selfishness or passion. A word of caution or reproof spoken at the right time will be of great value. By patient, watchful love, she can turn the minds of the children in the right direction, cultivating in them beautiful and attractive traits of character. {MH 389.1}[4]
§11
母亲要谨防把她们的儿童教育成倚赖他人和专顾自己的人。不要让他们以自我为中心，一切都要围绕着他们转。一些父母化大量的光阴和精力让儿童开心。但他们也应教导儿童自己寻找快乐。要运用他们自己的智慧和才能。这样，他们就学会了满足于简单的娱乐。要教导他们勇敢地承受小小的失望和试炼。不要受到一点痛苦或伤害就大惊小怪。要转移他们的注意力，教育他们泰然对待小小的烦恼与不便。要设法教训儿童学会为别人着想。{MH 389.2}
§12
Mothers should guard against training their children to be dependent and self-absorbed. Never lead them to think that they are the center, and that everything must revolve around them. Some parents give much time and attention to amusing their children, but children should be trained to amuse themselves, to exercise their own ingenuity and skill. Thus they will learn to be content with very simple pleasures. They should be taught to bear bravely their little disappointments and trials. Instead of calling attention to every trifling pain or hurt, divert their minds, teach them to pass lightly over little annoyances or discomforts. Study to suggest ways by which the children may learn to be thoughtful for others. {MH 389.2}[5]
§13
但也不要对儿童置之不理。有时母亲因为众多的牵挂而觉得没有时间耐心地教导孩子，给他们以慈爱和体贴。然而要记住，如果儿童对于同情和陪伴的渴望不能在家中和父母身上得到满足，他们就会转向其他源头。他们的思想和品格就会遭到危害。{MH 389.3}
§14
But let not the children be neglected. Burdened with many cares, mothers sometimes feel that they cannot take time patiently to instruct their little ones and give them love and sympathy. But they should remember that if the children do not find in their parents and in their home that which will satisfy their desire for sympathy and companionship, they will look to other sources, where both mind and character may be endangered. {MH 389.3}[6]
§15
许多母亲因为缺少光阴和思考而回绝儿童天真的快乐。而她们忙碌的手和疲乏的眼睛，却专注于虚浮的装饰，至多只能在儿童心里引起虚荣和奢华欲望的东西。孩子们长大以后，这种教训就会结出骄傲和道德败坏的果子。母亲为儿女的过错而伤心，却没有意识到她正在收获自己所撒的种子。{MH 389.4}
§16
For lack of time and thought, many a mother refuses her children some innocent pleasure, while busy fingers and weary eyes are diligently engaged on work designed only for adornment, something that, at best, will serve only to encourage vanity and extravagance in their young hearts. As the children approach manhood and womanhood, these lessons bear fruit in pride and moral worthlessness. The mother grieves over her childrens faults, but does not realize that the harvest she is reaping is from seed which she herself planted. {MH 389.4}[7]
§17
一些母亲对待儿童没有始终如一的态度，有时纵容他们做对自己有害的事，有时又拒绝他们天真的心愿，不让他们得到快乐。她们这样做，是没有以基督为榜样。基督爱儿童。祂体谅他们的心情，对他们的快乐和试炼深表同情。{MH 390.1}
§18
Some mothers are not uniform in the treatment of their children. At times they indulge them to their injury, and again they refuse some innocent gratification that would make the childish heart very happy. In this they do not imitate Christ; He loved the children; He comprehended their feelings and sympathized with them in their pleasures and their trials. {MH 390.1}[8]
§19
父亲的责任丈夫和父亲是一家之长。妻子需要他的爱和体贴，并帮助她教育儿童。这是理所当然的，因为孩子既是母亲的，也是父亲的。父亲对于孩子的福利，与母亲负有一样的责任。孩子需要父亲的支持和引导。父亲对于人生，对于围绕家庭的影响和社交，需要有正确的观念。最重要的，他应当受敬爱上帝的心和上帝的教训所约束，以便指引儿女的脚走在正直的路上。{MH 390.2}
§20
【The Fathers Responsibility】
§21
The husband and father is the head of the household. The wife looks to him for love and sympathy, and for aid in the training of the children; and this is right. The children are his as well as hers, and he is equally interested in their welfare. The children look to their father for support and guidance; he needs to have a right conception of life and of the influences and associations that should surround his family; above all, he should be controlled by the love and fear of God and by the teaching of His word, that he may guide the feet of his children in the right way. {MH 390.2}[9]
§22
父亲是家庭的立法者。他应当像亚伯拉罕那样，把上帝的律法当作家里的规则。上帝论到亚伯拉罕说：“我眷顾他，为要叫他吩咐他的众子，和他的眷属，遵守我的道”（创18:19）。亚伯拉罕不会容忍罪恶，不会懦弱愚昧地偏袒纵容，也不会因溺爱而放弃责任。亚伯拉罕不但给家人以正确的教训，还维护公义律法的权威。上帝已赐下规则引导我们。不要让儿童离开上帝的道所指明的平安之路，走上通往四处危险的道路。要亲切而坚定地藉着虔诚不懈的努力，抵制他们错误的欲望和爱好。{MH 390.3}
§23
The father is the lawmaker of the household; and, like Abraham, he should make the law of God the rule of his home. God said of Abraham, I know him, that he will command his children and his household. Genesis 18:19. There would be no sinful neglect to restrain evil, no weak, unwise, indulgent favoritism; no yielding of his conviction of duty to the claims of mistaken affection. Abraham would not only give right instruction, but he would maintain the authority of just and righteous laws. God has given rules for our guidance. Children should not be left to wander away from the safe path marked out in Gods word, into ways leading to danger, which are open on every side. Kindly, but firmly, with persevering, prayerful effort, their wrong desires should be restrained, their inclinations denied. {MH 390.3}[10]
§24
父亲要在家中实行更加坚强的美德，如活力、正直、诚实、忍耐、勇敢、勤劳和实用的技能等。凡他要孩子做到的，他自己先要做到。他要用自己高尚的风度，彰显这些美德。{MH 391.1}
§25
The father should enforce in his family the sterner virtues --energy, integrity, honesty, patience, courage, diligence, and practical usefulness. And what he requires of his children he himself should practice, illustrating these virtues in his own manly bearing. {MH 391.1}[11]
§26
但父亲不要让儿女灰心。要把权威和仁爱结合起来，把慈悲和同情与坚定的约束结合起来。要分一点空闲的时间给孩子们；要了解他们，与他们一同劳动玩耍，以嬴得他们的信任。要培养与他们，特别是你儿子们的友谊。这样，你就有了坚强的向善感化力。{MH 391.2}
§27
But, fathers, do not discourage your children. Combine affection with authority, kindness and sympathy with firm restraint. Give some of your leisure hours to your children; become acquainted with them; associate with them in their work and in their sports, and win their confidence. Cultivate friendship with them, especially with your sons. In this way you will be a strong influence for good. {MH 391.2}[12]
§28
父亲要尽自己的责任使家庭快乐。他不论有什么牵挂和事业上的困难，也不要把阴影笼罩在家庭里。他在进入家门时，脸上要带着笑容，并说愉快的话。{MH 392.1}
§29
The father should do his part toward making home happy. Whatever his cares and business perplexities, they should not be permitted to overshadow his family; he should enter his home with smiles and pleasant words. {MH 392.1}[13]
§30
从某种意义上说，父亲是家中的祭司，每天早晚要将祭物献在家庭的坛上。妻子和儿女要与他同心祈祷，唱诗赞美。早上出去从事日常的工作时，要把儿女聚集在身旁，跪在上帝面前，将他们交给天父照管。一天的辛劳结束时，一家人要聚集感恩祈祷、唱诗赞美、感谢上帝一整天的看顾。{MH 392.2}
§31
In a sense the father is the priest of the household, laying upon the family altar the morning and evening sacrifice. But the wife and children should unite in prayer and join in the song of praise. In the morning before he leaves home for his daily labor, let the father gather his children about him and, bowing before God, commit them to the care of the Father in heaven. When the cares of the day are past, let the family unite in offering grateful prayer and raising the song of praise, in acknowledgment of divine care during the day. {MH 392.2}[14]
§32
父母不论多么忙，也不可疏忽举行家庭礼拜。要祈求圣天使在你家中保佑。要记住你们的亲人在遭遇试探。人无论老少，每天都有烦恼。凡希望过忍耐、仁爱、快乐生活的人必须祷告。只有不断接受上帝的帮助，我们才能够战胜自我。{MH 393.1}
§33
Fathers and mothers, however pressing your business, do not fail to gather your family around Gods altar. Ask for the guardianship of holy angels in your home. Remember that your dear ones are exposed to temptations. Daily annoyances beset the path of young and old. Those who would live patient, loving, cheerful lives must pray. Only by receiving constant help from God can we gain the victory over self. {MH 393.1}[15]
§34
家庭应该是快乐、礼貌、仁爱常驻的地方。哪里有这些美德居住，哪里就有幸福与平安。家中不免会遇烦恼侵袭，但这原是人的命运。我们的日子虽有乌云遮盖，仍当以忍耐、感恩和仁爱为心中的阳光。这样的家庭有上帝的天使居住。{MH 393.2}
§35
Home should be a place where cheerfulness, courtesy, and love abide; and where these graces dwell, there will abide happiness and peace. Troubles may invade, but these are the lot of humanity. Let patience, gratitude, and love keep sunshine in the heart, though the day may be ever so cloudy. In such homes angels of God abide. {MH 393.2}[16]
§36
夫妻要关心对方的幸福，不可忽略小小的礼貌和仁慈之举，以使生活光明快乐。夫妻之间要有完全的信任。他们要一起探讨自己的责任，谋求儿女的最高利益。决不要在子女面前批评对方的计划，质疑对方的判断。妻子要当心，不要给她丈夫对儿女的工作增加困难。丈夫要支持妻子，给她聪明的指导和爱心的鼓励。{MH 393.3}
§37
Let the husband and wife study each others happiness, never failing in the small courtesies and little kindly acts that cheer and brighten the life. Perfect confidence should exist between husband and wife. Together they should consider their responsibilities. Together they should work for the highest good of their children. Never should they in the presence of the children criticize each others plans or question each others judgment. Let the wife be careful not to make the husbands work for the children more difficult. Let the husband hold up the hands of his wife, giving her wise counsel and loving encouragement. {MH 393.3}[17]
§38
父母和儿女之间，不要有冷淡的隔膜。父母要了解儿女，设法理解儿女的性情与爱好，体谅他们的情感，知道他们的心思。{MH 394.1}
§39
No barrier of coldness and reserve should be allowed to arise between parents and children. Let parents become acquainted with their children, seeking to understand their tastes and dispositions, entering into their feelings, and drawing out what is in their hearts. {MH 394.1}[18]
§40
父母们：要让儿女看到你们是爱他们的，并愿意尽一切力量帮助他们幸福。你们若做到了这一点，你们所不得不加在他们身上的限制，就会被他们年轻的心所更加看重。要用慈爱怜悯之心管束孩子，不要忘记“他们的使者在天上，常见我天父的面”（太18:10）。你们若希望天使在你们的孩子身上做上帝吩咐他们做的事情，就要尽你们的本分与他们合作。{MH 394.2}
§41
Parents, let your children see that you love them and will do all in your power to make them happy. If you do so, your necessary restrictions will have far greater weight in their young minds. Rule your children with tenderness and compassion, remembering that their angels do always behold the face of My Father which is in heaven. Matthew 18:10. If you desire the angels to do for your children the work given them of God, co-operate with them by doing your part. {MH 394.2}[19]
§42
在真家庭仁慈智慧的引导下成长的孩子，决不会到外面去滥交和寻欢作乐。罪恶对于他们没有吸引力。家中的气氛会塑造他们的品格。他们所养成的习惯和原则，在他们离开家庭的保护、到世界上立足的时候，会使他们对试探有坚强的抵抗力。{MH 394.3}
§43
Brought up under the wise and loving guidance of a true home, children will have no desire to wander away in search of pleasure and companionship. Evil will not attract them. The spirit that prevails in the home will mold their characters; they will form habits and principles that will be a strong defense against temptation when they shall leave the home shelter and take their place in the world. {MH 394.3}[20]
§44
儿童和父母在家中都有重要的职责。要教导他们明白自己是家庭的一分子。他们既在家中有吃有穿并受到爱护和照顾，就要分担家庭的责任，努力共谋家庭的幸福，以回报这么多的荣幸。{MH 394.4}
§45
Children as well as parents have important duties in the home. They should be taught that they are a part of the home firm. They are fed and clothed and loved and cared for, and they should respond to these many mercies by bearing their share of the home burdens and bringing all the happiness possible into the family of which they are members. {MH 394.4}[21]
§46
儿童有时受试探对约束感到不满。但到了将来，他们想起在年幼无知时，父母曾忠心地照顾和严密地关注他们，保护和引导他们，那时他们就要感激父母了。{MH 394.5}
§47
Children are sometimes tempted to chafe under restraint; but in afterlife they will bless their parents for the faithful care and strict watchfulness that guarded and guided them in their years of inexperience. {MH 394.5}[22]