第21章 幸福成功的结合
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第21章 幸福成功的结合
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Chap. 21—A Happy, Successful Partnership
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上帝命定在缔结婚姻关系的人中间，应该有完全的爱与完全的和谐。新郎和新娘要在全宇宙之前立下誓约，彼此相爱，因为上帝已命定他们应当如此行。……妻子当敬重她的丈夫，丈夫也当爱护他的妻子。{CCh 129.1}[1]
§4
God has ordained that there should be perfect love and harmony between those who enter into the marriage relation. Let bride and bridegroom, in the presence of the heavenly universe, pledge themselves to love each other as God has ordained they should.... The wife is to respect and reverence her husband, and the husband is to love and cherish his wife.?{CCh 129.1}[1]
§5
无论男女，在婚姻生活开始的时候，就都当重新将自己献给上帝。{CCh 129.2}[2]
§6
Men and women, at the beginning of married life, should reconsecrate themselves to God.?{CCh 129.2}[2]
§7
婚姻无论考虑得多么谨慎周详，也很少有夫妇在结婚时是完全结合的。两人真正的结合是在婚后的岁月里。?{CCh 129.3}[3]
§8
However carefully and wisely marriage may have been entered into, few couples are completely united when the marriage ceremony is performed. The real union of the two in wedlock is the work of the after years.?{CCh 129.3}[3]
§9
新婚的夫妇所面对的，是生活烦恼和忧虑的担子。想象中婚姻的浪漫消失了。夫妻彼此了解了婚前所不知道的品格。这是他们最危急的时期。他们一生的幸福和前途，全在乎他们这时是否能采取正确的方针。他们往往互相发现了以前所想象不到的缺点和软弱。但他们用爱联结在一起的心也会发现以前所没有看到的优点。但愿大家都看对方的长处，而不是短处。我们对别人的观察，常常受我们自己的态度和我们周围气氛的影响。?{CCh 129.4}[4]
§10
As life with its burden of perplexity and care meets the newly wedded pair, the romance with which imagination so often invests marriage disappears. Husband and wife learn each other’s character as it was impossible to learn it in their previous association. This is a most critical period in their experience. The happiness and usefulness of their whole future life depend upon their taking a right course now. Often they discern in each other unsuspected weaknesses and defects; but the hearts that love has united will discern excellencies also heretofore unknown. Let all seek to discover the excellencies rather than the defects. Often it is our own attitude, the atmosphere that surrounds ourselves, which determines what will be revealed to us in another.?{CCh 129.4}[4]
§11
许多人视爱的表示为懦弱，故保持排斥他人的矜持。这种精神阻碍了同情的热流。交谊和慷慨的冲动既受到遏止，就会枯竭，心地就会变得冷漠。我们要谨防这种错误。爱如果不表达出来是不能长存的。不要让牵挂你的心因得不到仁爱和同情而饥饿。{CCh 129.5}[5]
§12
There are many who regard the expression of love as a weakness, and they maintain a reserve that repels others. This spirit checks the current of sympathy. As the social and generous impulses are repressed, they wither, and the heart becomes desolate and cold. We should beware of this error. Love cannot long exist without expression. Let not the heart of one connected with you starve for the want of kindness and sympathy.?{CCh 129.5}[5]
§13
夫妻都要给予爱，而不要苛求对方的爱。要培养你最高尚的品格，善于发现对方的优点。得到别人的赏识，会带来奇妙的满足和激励。同情和尊敬能促使人上进。爱情本身也随着其更高尚的宗旨而增加。{CCh 129.6}[6]
§14
Let each give love rather than exact it. Cultivate that which is noblest in yourselves, and be quick to recognize the good qualities in each other. The consciousness of being appreciated is a wonderful stimulus and satisfaction. Sympathy and respect encourage the striving after excellence, and love itself increases as it stimulates to nobler aims.?{CCh 129.6}[6]
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【两个生命的结合】
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?虽然会有艰难、困惑和沮丧，但夫妻都不要认为他们的结合是错误或令人失望的。要下决心尽量让对方满意，要延续初恋时的恩爱。在人生的斗争中，要千方百计鼓励对方。要研究如何增进对方的幸福。要彼此相爱，互相体谅。这样，婚姻就不会是恋爱的坟墓，而是恋爱的开始了。真正友谊的热情和心心相印的爱情，乃是天国喜乐的预尝。?{CCh 130.1}[7]
§17
【The Blending of Two Lives】
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Though difficulties, perplexities, and discouragements may arise, let neither husband nor wife harbor the thought that their union is a mistake or a disappointment. Determine to be all that it is possible to be to each other. Continue the early attentions. In every way encourage each other in fighting the battles of life. Study to advance the happiness of each other. Let there be mutual love, mutual forbearance. Then marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very beginning of love. The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven.?{CCh 130.1}[7]
§19
人人都当藉着实行忍耐而培养忍耐。因着仁慈和宽容，心中真挚之爱的温暖得以保持，所培养的品质也必得上天的嘉纳。?{CCh 130.2}[8]
§20
All should cultivate patience by practicing patience. By being kind and forbearing, true love may be kept warm in the heart, and qualities will be developed that Heaven will approve.?{CCh 130.2}[8]
§21
撒但随时准备利用所发生的矛盾，强调丈夫或妻子品格上令人反感的先天特性，企图离间在上帝面前藉着严肃的誓约而结合的人。他们在婚约中承诺要成为一体。妻子保证要敬爱并顺服她的丈夫；丈夫也保证要爱护和体贴他的妻子。如果顺从上帝的律法，争执的恶魔就会被拒于家门之外，离心离德的事就不会发生，彼此的感情也不会疏远了。{CCh 130.3}[9]
§22
Satan is ever ready to take advantage when any matter of variance arises, and by moving upon the objectionable, hereditary traits of character in husband or wife, he will try to cause the alienation of those who have united their interests in a solemn covenant before God. In the marriage vows they have promised to be as one, the wife covenanting to love and obey her husband, the husband promising to love and cherish his wife. If the law of God is obeyed, the demon of strife will be kept out of the family, and no separation of interests will take place, no alienation of affection will be permitted.?{CCh 130.3}[9]
§23
他们已经在你们面前将他们的志趣、感情、爱心和工作融合在一起，共同从事救灵的服务。这是他们历史的重要阶段。在婚姻关系中，有一个非常重要的步骤，就是两个生命的结合。……按照上帝的旨意，夫妇二人要在祂的圣工中联合一致，完美圣洁地予以工作。他们能做到这一点。{CCh 130.4}[10]
§24
This is an important period in the history of the ones who have stood before you to unite their interests, their sympathies, their love, their labor, with each other in the ministry of the saving of souls. In the marriage relation there is a very important step taken—the blending of two lives into one. It is in accord with the will of God that man and wife should be linked together in His work, to carry it forward in a wholeness and a holiness. They can do this.?{CCh 130.4}[10]
§25
上帝的福惠在这合一的家庭中，犹如天上的阳光，因为主所命定的旨意，是要夫妇二人在圣洁的结合中合而为一，在耶稣基督之下，顺服祂的管理，受祂灵的引导。?{CCh 130.5}[11]
§26
The blessing of God in the home where this union shall exist is as the sunshine of heaven, because it is the Lord’s ordained will that man and wife should be linked together in holy bonds of union, under Jesus Christ, with Him to control, and His spirit to guide.?{CCh 130.5}[11]
§27
上帝希望家庭成为地上最快乐的地方，成为天上家庭的真实象征。夫妻在家庭中担负起婚姻的责任，将他们的旨趣与耶稣基督相连，依靠祂的臂膀和保证，就能享受上帝的天使所嘉许的幸福。（AH 101-107）{CCh 130.6}[12]
§28
God wants the home to be the happiest place on earth, the very symbol of the home in heaven. Bearing the marriage responsibilities in the home, linking their interests with Jesus Christ, leaning upon His arm and His assurance, husband and wife may share a happiness in this union that angels of God commend.{CCh 130.6}[12]
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【在发生矛盾的时候】
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夫妻如果没有将自己的心交给上帝，即使双方都力求公平公正地处理他们的事务，解决家庭矛盾，也是很困难的。关于家庭的福利，夫妻二人怎能各持己见而仍恩爱如昔呢？对于一切有关家庭福利的事，他们应当同心合意。妻子若是一位基督徒，就当作为丈夫的伴侣，与他利害与共；因为丈夫是一家之主。?{CCh 130.7}[13]
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【When Differences Arise】
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It is a hard matter to adjust family difficulties, even when husband and wife seek to make a fair and just settlement in regard to their several duties, if they have failed to submit the heart to God. How can husband and wife divide the interests of their home life and still keep a loving, firm hold upon each other? They should have a united interest in?all that concerns their homemaking, and the wife, if a Christian, will have her interest with her husband as his companion; for the husband is to stand as the head of the household.?{CCh 130.7}[13]
§33
你的态度是错误的。你采取立场时并不很好地权衡问题，也不考虑一下，你既知道你的妻子持有的观点与你不同，你若坚持自己的观点且以独立不羁的态度将之交织在你的祷告和谈话中必有什么结果。你不但不象一位君子那样尊重你妻子的感受，体贴地避免涉及那些你明知意见不同的话题，反而热心地仔细研究异议之点，而且在表达自己的观点时表现出一种固执的精神，不顾你周围的任何一个人。你觉得别人无权看问题与你不同。这些果子不是基督徒树上结出来的。{CCh 131.1}[14]
§34
Your spirit is wrong. When you take a position, you do not weigh the matter well and consider what must be the effect of your maintaining your views and in an independent manner weaving them into your prayers and conversation, when you know that your wife does not hold the same views that you do. Instead of respecting the feelings of your wife and kindly avoiding, as a gentleman would, those subjects upon which you know you differ, you have been forward to dwell upon objectionable points, and have manifested a persistency in expressing your views regardless of any around you. You have felt that others had no right to see matters differently from yourself. These fruits do not grow upon the Christian tree.?{CCh 131.1}[14]
§35
我的弟兄，我的姊妹，你们当敞开心门，迎接耶稣，邀请祂进入心灵的殿中。要互相帮助，克服侵入婚后生活的障碍。要努力奋战，制胜你们的仇敌魔鬼。你们如果指望上帝在这场战斗中帮助你们，就当同心合意决心获胜，闭口不说坏话，即便你们必须跪下呼求说：“主啊，求祢斥退我心灵的仇敌。”{CCh 131.2}[15]
§36
My brother, my sister, open the door of the heart to receive Jesus. Invite him into the soul-temple. Help each other to overcome the obstacles which enter the married life of all. You will have a fierce conflict to overcome your adversary the devil, and if you expect God to help you in this battle, you must both unite in deciding to overcome, to seal your lips against speaking any words of wrong, even if you have to fall upon your knees and cry aloud, “Lord, rebuke the adversary of my soul.”?{CCh 131.2}[15]
§37
如果实现了上帝的旨意，夫妻就会彼此尊重，并培养爱情和信任。要坚决抵制凡危害家庭安宁与和睦的事，培养仁慈与爱心。凡表现温柔、忍耐和仁爱精神的人，必发现别人也以同样的精神对他。上帝的灵在哪里作主，哪里就不会有与婚姻关系不相称话语。基督若真在你们心里成了有荣耀的盼望，家中就必充满和睦与恩爱。住在妻子心中的基督，必与住在丈夫心中的基督融洽一致。他们必同心努力追求基督去为一切爱祂之人所预备的住处。?{CCh 131.3}[16]
§38
If the will of God is fulfilled, the husband and wife will respect each other and cultivate love and confidence. Anything that would mar the peace and unity of the family should be firmly repressed, and kindness and love should be cherished. He who manifests the spirit of tenderness, forbearance, and love will find that the same spirit will be reflected upon him. Where the Spirit of God reigns, there will be no talk of unsuitability in the marriage relation. If Christ indeed is formed within, the hope of glory, there will be union and love in the home. Christ abiding in the heart of the wife will be at agreement with Christ abiding in the heart of the husband. They will be striving together for the mansions Christ has gone to prepare for those who love Him.?{CCh 131.3}[16]
§39
凡视婚姻关系为上帝神圣制度之一，且为祂的圣洁律法所维护的人，必受理智的指示所约束。?{CCh 131.4}[17]
§40
Those who regard the marriage relation as one of God’s sacred ordinances, guarded by His holy precept, will be controlled by the dictates of reason.?{CCh 131.4}[17]
§41
在婚后的生活中，男人和女人有时会表现得象毫无教养，刚愎任性的孩子一样。丈夫固执己见，妻子也固执己见，互不相让。这样的状态会带来很大的不幸。夫妻都应甘心放弃自己的主张或见解。他们双方若执意为所欲为，就不可能获得幸福。（AH 118-121）?{CCh 131.5}[18]
§42
In the married life men and women sometimes act like undisciplined, perverse children. The husband wants his way, and the wife wants her way, and neither is willing to yield. Such a condition of things can bring only the greatest unhappiness. Both husband and wife should be willing to yield his or her way or opinion. There is no possibility of happiness while they both persists in doing as they please.{CCh 131.5}[18]
§43
没有相互的忍耐和爱，任何世上的势力都不能保守你与你的丈夫在基督里的结合。你们婚姻关系中的情谊应该是亲密而温柔，圣洁而高贵的，给你们的生活带来属灵的力量，使你们彼此之间成全上帝圣言的全部要求。当你们达到主所希望你们达到的境地时，你们就会发现地上的天国，发现上帝在你们的生活之中。{CCh 131.6}[19]
§44
Without mutual forbearance and love no earthly power can hold you and your husband in the bonds of Christian unity. Your companionship in the marriage relation should be close and tender, holy and elevated, breathing a spiritual power into your lives, that you may be everything?to each other that God’s word requires. When you reach the condition that the Lord desires you to reach, you will find heaven below and God in your life.?{CCh 131.6}[19]
§45
我亲爱的弟兄和姐妹，要记住上帝就是爱。藉着祂的恩典，你们可以在增进彼此幸福的事上获得成功，正如你们在婚约中所承诺要作的。（AH 112）{CCh 132.1}[20]
§46
Remember, my dear brother and sister, that God is love and that by His grace you can succeed in making each other happy, as in your marriage pledge you promised to do.{CCh 132.1}[20]
§47
靠着基督的恩典，你们能够战胜自我与自私。你们若过祂所过的生活，步步自我牺牲，不断向需要帮助的人表现更强的同情心，就必胜了又胜。你们将天天更好地了解如何战胜自我，如何加强品格上的弱点。由于你们让自己的意志顺服祂的旨意，主耶稣就要成为你们的亮光，你们的力量和你们喜乐的冠冕。（7T 49）?{CCh 132.2}[21]
§48
By the grace of Christ you can gain the victory over self and selfishness. As you live His life, showing self-sacrifice at every step, constantly revealing a stronger sympathy for those in need of help, you will gain victory after victory. Day by day you will learn better how to conquer self and how to strengthen your weak points of character. The Lord Jesus will be your light, your strength, your crown of rejoicing, because you yield your will to His will.{CCh 132.2}[21]