第20章 婚礼
§1
第20章 婚礼Chap. 20—Marriage
§2
上帝从男人身上造出一个女人来作他的配偶和助手，与他成为一体，安慰，鼓励和造福于他。男人也要作女人有力的帮助者。凡以圣洁的目的——丈夫要获得一个女人心中纯洁的爱情，妻子要软化和促进她丈夫的品格并使之完全——进入婚姻关系的人，都在实现上帝对他们的旨意。?{CCh 125.1}[1]
§3
God made from the man a woman, to be a companion and helpmeet for him, to be one with him, to cheer, encourage, and bless him, he in his turn to be her strong helper. All who enter into matrimonial relations with a holy purpose—the husband to obtain the pure affections of a woman’s heart, the wife to soften and improve her husband’s character and give it completeness—fulfill God’s purpose for them.?{CCh 125.1}[1]
§4
基督来并不是要破坏这个制度，而是要恢复它原有的神圣和高尚性质。祂来是要在人身上恢复上帝的道德形像。祂的工作是藉着嘉许婚姻关系而开始的。?{CCh 125.2}[2]
§5
Christ came not to destroy this institution, but to restore it to its original sanctity and elevation. He came to restore the moral image of God in man, and He began His work by sanctioning the marriage relation.?{CCh 125.2}[2]
§6
那位把夏娃赐给亚当作为伴侣的主，在一个婚宴上施行了祂的第一个神迹。基督在亲朋好友欢聚的宴厅中开始了祂的传道工作。祂就是这样对婚姻表示认可，承认婚姻是祂亲自所设立的制度。祂指定男女在神圣的婚姻中结合，组织家庭，使家里的人光荣地成为天上家庭的成员。{CCh 125.3}[3]
§7
He who gave Eve to Adam as a helpmeet performed His first miracle at a marriage festival. In the festal hall where friends and kindred rejoiced together, Christ began His public ministry. Thus He sanctioned marriage, recognizing it as an institution that He Himself had established. He ordained that men and women should be united in holy wedlock, to rear families whose members, crowned with honor, should be recognized as members of the family above.?{CCh 125.3}[3]
§8
【婚礼应是简朴快乐的场合】
§9
从基督身上发源的上帝之爱，不会摧毁人间的爱，而是包含人间的爱。藉着基督的爱，人间的爱得到纯炼、洁净、提高和尊荣。人间的爱若不与上帝的性情相结合，接受陶冶而向天生长，就绝不会结出宝贵的果实来。耶稣希望看见幸福的婚姻，幸福的家庭。{CCh 125.4}[4]
§10
【The Wedding Should Be a Simple, Happy Occasion】
§11
The divine love emanating from Christ never destroys human love, but includes it. By it human love is refined and purified, elevated and ennobled. Human love can never bear its precious fruit until it is united with the divine nature and trained to grow heavenward. Jesus wants to see happy marriages, happy firesides.?{CCh 125.4}[4]
§12
圣经记载耶稣和祂的门徒应邀出席（迦拿的）婚筵。基督并没有允许基督徒在接到婚礼的邀请时说：我们不可以参加这么喜庆的场面。基督藉着参加这次婚筵教导我们要在遵守祂典章的场合中与欢乐的人同乐。人间无害的宴乐，只要与天国的律法没有冲突，祂从来没有加以阻止。基督以祂的临格来尊荣的集会，祂的门徒当然可以参加。基督在参加了这次筵席之后，还参加了许多别的宴会，以祂的临格和教训，使之成为圣洁。我们没有什么理由在婚事上大事铺张炫耀，即使双方完全相配。{CCh 125.5}[5]
§13
The Scriptures state that both Jesus and His disciples were called to this marriage feast [at Cana]. Christ has given Christians no sanction to say when invited to a marriage, We ought not to be present on so joyous an occasion. By attending this feast Christ taught that He would have us rejoice with those who do rejoice in the observance of His statutes. He never discouraged the innocent festivities of mankind when carried on in accordance with the laws of Heaven. A gathering that Christ honored by His presence, it is right that His followers should attend. After attending this feast, Christ attended many others, sanctifying them by His presence and instruction. There is no reason why we should make great parade or display, even if the parties were perfectly suited to each other.?{CCh 125.5}[5]
§14
在婚礼上狂欢极乐、炫耀矫饰，在我看来很不适宜。这是上帝所命定的礼节，应该视为非常严肃的事。在地上建立家庭的关系，是要说明他们将来在天上家庭里的情形。要始终把上帝的荣耀放在首位。（AH 99-101）?{CCh 125.6}[6]
§15
It has always seemed so very inappropriate to me to see the marriage ordinance associated with hilarity and glee and a pretense of something.No. It is an ordinance ordained of God, to be looked upon with the greatest solemnity. As the family relation is formed here below, it is to give a demonstration of what they shall be, the family in heaven above. The glory of God is ever to be made first.{CCh 125.6}[6]
§16
【给一对新婚夫妇的忠告】
§17
我亲爱的弟兄和姐妹：你们方今已缔结了终身之约。你们在婚姻生活上的教育现已开始了。婚后生活的第一年，乃是经验之年；在这一年中，夫妻彼此学习认识对方品性的特质，正如儿童在学校中学习功课一般。在你们婚后第一年的生活中，不要让什么事故破坏你们未来的幸福。?{CCh 126.1}[7]
§18
【Counsel to Newlyweds】
§19
My Dear Brother and Sister,You have united in a life long covenant. Your education in married life has begun. The first year of married life is a year of experience, a year in which husband and wife learn each other’s different traits of character, as a child learns lessons in school. In this, the first year of your married life, let there be no chapters that will mar your future happiness.?{CCh 126.1}[7]
§20
对于婚姻的关系，要得到正确的体验，这乃是一生的工作。凡结婚的人就是进入了一所学校；他们今生是决不能从这所学校中毕业的。我的弟兄，你妻子的光阴，精力，及幸福，从此是与你相联系了。你在她身上的影响，可成为活的香气叫她活，或是死的香气叫她死。所以你当极其慎重，不要败坏了她的人生。{CCh 126.2}[8]
§21
To gain a proper understanding of the marriage relation is the work of a lifetime. Those who marry enter a school from which they are never in this life to be graduated. My brother, your wife’s time and strength and happiness are now bound up with yours. Your influence over her may be a savor of life unto life or of death unto death. Be very careful not to spoil her life.?{CCh 126.2}[8]
§22
我的姐妹，你现在是要学习关乎婚姻生活的实际责任的开端。你务须天天忠实地学习这些教训。心中切不可让步于不满或抑郁之念，也不可渴望度一个舒适及闲散的生活。要时刻提防，不叫自私之心得势。?{CCh 126.3}[9]
§23
My sister, you are now to learn your first practical lessons in regard to the responsibilities of married life. Be sure to learn these lessons faithfully day by day. Do not give way to discontent or moodiness. Do not long for a life of ease and inactivity. Guard constantly against giving way to selfishness.?{CCh 126.3}[9]
§24
在你们的终身结合中，你们的爱情应当增进彼此的幸福，各人都要为对方的幸福服务。这是上帝对于你们的旨意。你们虽已结合为一体，但不要让各人的个性消失在对方之中，因为你们的个性是属于上帝的。你们要向祂请教：什么是对？什么是错？我可以怎样最好地实现主创造我的宗旨呢？“你们不是自己的人，因为你们是重价买来的，所以要在你们的身子上荣耀上帝”（林前6:19，20）。你爱人之心，应当次于爱上帝。你丰富的情感，应当流向那为你舍命的主。人既为上帝而活，就要把最美好、最崇高的感情奉献给祂。你有把你最大的爱潮涌向为你舍命的主吗？如果有的话，你们相互的爱情就必按照上天的等次了。?{CCh 126.4}[10]
§25
In your life union your affections are to be tributary to each other’s happiness. Each is to minister to the happiness of the other. This is the will of God concerning you. But while you are to blend as one, neither of you is to lose his or her individuality in the other. God is the owner of your individuality. Of Him you are to ask: What is right? What is wrong? How may I best fulfill the purpose of my creation? Ye are not your own; for ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”?1 Corinthians 6:19, 20. Your love for that which is human is to be secondary to your love for God. The wealth of your affection is to flow forth to Him who gave His life for you. Living for God, the soul sends forth to Him its best and highest affections. Is the greatest outflow of your love toward Him who died for you? If it is, your love for each other will be after heaven’s order.?{CCh 126.4}[10]
§26
爱情尽可清明如水晶，有纯净之美；但是因为还没有受过测验及试炼的缘故，也许仍嫌浮浅。因此你当在凡事上以基督为始，为终，为至善。你若常常地仰望祂，则你爱祂的心在受患难试验的时候，就能天天加深加强。你爱主的心既然加增，你们彼此之间的爱情亦可更深更强。“我们众人既然敞着脸得以看见主的荣光，好像从镜子里返照，就变成主的形状，荣上加荣，如同从主的灵变成的”（林后3:18）。而今你有些当尽的义务，是你们婚前所没有的。“所以你们……要存怜悯、恩慈、谦虚、温柔、忍耐的心。”“也要凭爱心行事，正如基督爱我们。”应当留心研究以下的训勉：“你们作妻子的，当顺服自己的丈夫，如同顺服主。因为丈夫是妻子的头，如同基督是教会的头；……教会怎样顺服基督，妻子也要怎样凡事顺服丈夫。你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己”（西3:12；弗5:2，22-25）。?{CCh 126.5}[11]
§27
Affection may be as clear as crystal and beauteous in its purity, yet it may be shallow because it has not been tested and tried. Make Christ first and last and best in everything. Constantly behold Him, and your love for Him will daily become deeper and stronger as it is submitted to the test of trial. And as your love for Him increases, your love for each other will grow deeper and stronger. “We all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory.”?2 Corinthians 3:18. You now have duties to perform that before your marriage you did not have. “Put on therefore, ... kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering.” Walk in?love, as Christ also hath loved us.” Give careful study to the following instruction: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.... Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it.”?Colossians 3:12;?Ephesians 5:2, 22-25.?{CCh 126.5}[11]
§28
婚姻乃是终身的结合，象征基督与祂教会的结合。基督向教会所表现的精神，在夫妻之间亦当彼此表现出来。?{CCh 127.1}[12]
§29
Marriage, a union for life, is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church. The spirit that Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit that husband and wife are to manifest toward each other.?{CCh 127.1}[12]
§30
无论是丈夫或妻子，都不应求取主宰之权。关于此事，主已制定一个指导的原则。丈夫要爱护妻子，正如基督爱护教会，妻子也当敬爱丈夫。双方都要培养仁慈的精神，决心不使对方受苦受损。?{CCh 127.2}[13]
§31
Neither husband nor wife is to make a plea for rulership. The Lord has laid down the principle that is to guide in this matter. The husband is to cherish his wife as Christ cherishes the church. And the wife is to respect and love her husband. Both are to cultivate the spirit of kindness, being determined never to grieve or injure the other.?{CCh 127.2}[13]
§32
我的弟兄和姐妹，你们俩人都有坚强的意志力。你们可以使这种能力对于你们自己及与你们接近的人，成为大福或大害。切不可试图迫使对方顺应你的心意而行。因为你这样行就不能保持彼此的爱情。自私意志的表现会毁灭了家庭的平安与幸福。不要让你们的婚姻生活成为一个争执的生活；如果这样，你们俩人便都没有快乐了。应当言谈柔和，行动优雅，放弃你们自己的心愿。要谨慎自己的言语；因为言语对于为善为恶都有强大的影响力。语气之中不可带有尖刻的意味。应当将基督化的馨香之气带入你们联合的生命里。{CCh 127.3}[14]
§33
My brother and sister, both of you have strong will power. You may make this power a great blessing or a great curse to yourselves and to those with whom you come in contact. Do not try to compel each other to do as you wish. You cannot do this and retain each other’s love. Manifestations of self-will destroy the peace and happiness of the home. Let not your married life be one of contention. If you do you will both be unhappy. Be kind in speech and gentle in action, giving up your own wishes. Watch well your words, for they have a powerful influence for good or for ill. Allow no sharpness to come into your voices. Bring into your united life the fragrance of Christ-likeness.?{CCh 127.3}[14]
§34
在一个人进入这样密切的结合如婚姻关系之前，他应当先学习如何克己以及如何待人。?{CCh 127.4}[15]
§35
Before a man enters a union as close as the marriage relation, he should learn how to control himself and how to deal with others.?{CCh 127.4}[15]
§36
我的弟兄，你当和善，忍耐，及宽容。须记得你的妻子接受你为她的丈夫，并非要你来管理她，乃是要你作她的帮手。你切不可傲慢独裁。切不可用你强固的意志力，去迫使你的妻子随从你的心意而行。当记得她也有她的意志，也要实现她自己的主张，正如你要实现你的主张一样。也当记得因为你有更广泛的经验，已比她占有优势。务要体谅她，也要用礼貌对待她。“惟独从上头来的智慧，先是清洁，后是和平，温良柔顺，满有怜悯，多结善果”（雅3:17）。?{CCh 127.5}[16]
§37
My brother, be kind, patient, forbearing. Remember that your wife accepted you as her husband, not that you might rule over her, but that you might be her helper. Never be overbearing and dictatorial. Do not exert your strong will power to compel your wife to do as you wish. Remember that she has a will and that she may wish to have her way as much as you wish to have yours. Remember, too, that you have the advantage of your wider experience. Be considerate and courteous. “The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits.”?James 3:17.?{CCh 127.5}[16]
§38
我亲爱的弟兄及姐妹，须记得：上帝就是爱，藉着祂的恩典，你们便可以在增进彼此幸福的事上获致成功，一如你们在婚约上所应许要作的。并且在救赎主的大能中，你们可以有智慧，有力量，去帮助某些弯曲的人生，在上帝里面成为正直。有什么事是基督所不能作成的呢？祂是全智，全义，全爱的。不要把自己禁锢在你们自己的范围之内，不要以全部的爱情只倾注在夫妻之间为满足。应当把握住每一个机会，为你们周围的人群谋福，使他们分享你们的爱。仁慈的言语，同情的态度，感激的表示，对于艰苦奋斗与孤怜寂寞的人，正如一杯凉水之于干渴的人一般。一句快乐的言语，一种仁慈的行为，都可以减轻那压在疲乏之肩上的重负。在不自私的服务中，可寻得真正的幸福。并且作这种服务的每一言行，都要记录在天上的案卷中，如同是为基督而作的一样。主宣布：“这些事你们既作在我这弟兄中一个最小的身上，就是作在我身上了”（太25:40）。?{CCh 127.6}[17]
§39
Remember, my dear brother and sister, that God is love and that by His grace you can succeed in making each other happy, as in your marriage pledge you promised to do. And in the strength of the Redeemer you can work with wisdom and power to help some crooked life to be straight in God. What is there that Christ cannot do? He is perfect in wisdom, in righteousness, in love. Do not shut yourselves up to yourselves, satisfied to pour out all your affection upon each other. Seize every opportunity to contribute to the happiness of those around you, sharing with them your affection. Words of kindness, looks of sympathy, expressions of appreciation, would to many a struggling,?lonely one be as a cup of cold water to a thirsty soul. A word of cheer, an act of kindness, would go far to lighten the burdens that are resting heavily upon weary shoulders. It is in unselfish ministry that true happiness is found. And every word and deed of such service is recorded in the books of heaven as done for Christ. “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren,” He declares, “ye have done it unto Me.”?Matthew 25:40.?{CCh 127.6}[17]
§40
你们应当生活于救主之爱的阳光中，如此，你们的感化力就会造福于人群。但愿基督的灵管束你们，慈爱的律法长留在你们的嘴唇之间。凡是重生在基督里度新生活的人，在他的言语及行为上都有包容及无私的标志。（7T 45-50）?{CCh 128.1}[18]
§41
Live in the sunshine of the Saviour’s love. Then your influence will bless the world. Let the Spirit of Christ control you. Let the law of kindness be ever on your lips. Forbearance and unselfishness mark the words and actions of those who are born again, to live the new life in Christ.{CCh 128.1}[18]