第19章 不要与不信的人结合
§1
第19章 不要与不信的人结合
§2
Chap. 19—Marry Not an Unbeliever
§3
现今基督教界对于圣经上有关信徒与非信徒结婚的教训，表现着出奇而惊人的冷淡。许多自称敬爱上帝的人，宁可顺从自己的心意，而不愿接受无穷智慧之主的训诲。在这种有关双方今生及来生之快乐与幸福的大事上，理性，判断，及敬畏上帝之心都被抛诸脑后，而盲目的冲动与刚愎的决心却当权了。?{CCh 120.1}[1]
§4
There is in the Christian world an astonishing, alarming indifference to the teaching of God’s word in regard to the marriage of Christians with unbelievers. Many who profess to love and fear God choose to follow the bent of their own minds rather than take counsel of Infinite Wisdom. In a matter which vitally concerns the happiness and well-being of both parties for this world and the next, reason, judgment, and the fear of God are set aside; and blind impulse, stubborn determination are allowed to control.?{CCh 120.1}[1]
§5
在别的方面很明智有良心的男女，在这事上却掩耳不听劝告；对于朋友，亲戚，及上帝仆人们的忠言恳劝，竟充耳不闻。忠告与警戒的话，被当作不客气的干涉，那忠实敢进谏言的朋友，竟被当作仇敌看待。这一切都恰如撒但的心愿。他向人施展邪术，叫人受惑入迷。理性任自制的僵绳从肉欲的颈项上脱落，不圣洁的情欲执鞭指挥，直至受害者觉悟到生活的愁惨及束缚时，却是悔之晚矣。这不是出于幻想的描绘，而是事实的重述。凡上帝明令禁止的结合，必得不到祂的许可。?{CCh 120.2}[2]
§6
Men and women who are otherwise sensible and conscientious close their ears to counsel; they are deaf to the appeals and entreaties of friends and kindred and of the servants of God. The expression of a caution or warning is regarded as impertinent meddling, and the friend who is faithful enough to utter a remonstrance is treated as an enemy. All this is as Satan would have it. He weaves his spell about the soul, and it becomes bewitched, infatuated. Reason lets fall the reins of self-control upon the neck of lust; unsanctified passion bears sway, until, too late, the victim awakens to a life of misery and bondage. This is not a picture drawn by the imagination, but a recital of facts. God’s sanction is not given to unions which He has expressly forbidden.?{CCh 120.2}[2]
§7
主命令古代的以色列人不可与周围拜偶像的国民通婚：“不可与他们结亲，不可将你的女儿嫁给他们的儿子；也不可叫你的儿子娶他们的女儿。”理由也提到了，无穷智慧之主预见到这种结合的后果，说：“因为他必使你儿子转离不跟从主，去事奉别神，以致耶和华的怒气向你们发作，就速速地将你们灭绝。”“因为你归耶和华你上帝为圣洁的民，耶和华你上帝从地上的万民中拣选你，特作自己的子民”（申7:3,4,6）。关于基督徒与不信上帝之人通婚，在新约圣经上也有同样的禁戒。使徒保罗在致哥林多教会的第一封信上，说：“丈夫活着的时候，妻子是被约束的；丈夫若死了，妻子就可以自由，随意再嫁，只是要嫁这在主里面的人”（林前7:39）。他又在第二封信上写着说：“你们和不信的原不相配，不要同负一轭。义和不义有什么相干呢？光明和黑暗有什么相通呢？基督和彼列有什么相和呢？信主的和不信主的有什么相干呢？上帝的殿和偶像有什么相同呢？因为我们是永生上帝的殿；就如上帝曾说，我要在他们中间居住，在他们中间来往；我要作他们的上帝，他们要作我的子民。又说，你们务要从他们中间出来，与他们分别，不要沾不洁净的物，我就收纳你们。我要作你们的父，你们要作我的儿女。这是全能的主说的”（林后6:14-18）。?{CCh 120.3}[3]
§8
The Lord commanded ancient Israel not to intermarry with the idolatrous nations around them: “Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.” The reason is given. Infinite Wisdom, foreseeing the result of such unions, declares: “For they will turn away thy son from following Me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.” “For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto Himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth.” In the New Testament are similar prohibitions concerning the marriage of Christians with the ungodly. The Apostle Paul, in his first letter to the Corinthians, declares: “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” Again, in his second epistle, he writes: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what?agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be My sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.”?{CCh 120.3}[3]
§9
上帝的子民决不可擅入禁地。信主的人和不信主的人结婚，乃是上帝所禁止的。可惜未曾更新的心往往要遂行所欲，结成上帝所不认可的婚姻。许多人因此在这世上没有盼望也没有上帝。在撒但的网罗所造成的一系列环境中，他们高尚的志向消失了。那些受情欲和冲动控制的人，会在今生收获苦果，他们的行为可能会导致自己灵魂的失丧。?{CCh 121.1}[4]
§10
Never should God’s people venture upon forbidden ground. Marriage between believers and unbelievers is forbidden by God. But too often the unconverted heart follows its own desires, and marriages unsanctioned by God are formed. Because of this many men and women are without hope and without God in the world. Their noble aspirations are dead; by a chain of circumstances they are held in Satan’s net. Those who are ruled by passion and impulse will have a bitter harvest to reap in this life, and their course may result in the loss of their souls.?{CCh 121.1}[4]
§11
那些自称信仰真理的人，因与不信的人结婚，践踏了上帝的旨意，就失去了祂的眷爱，而难以悔改。不信的一方也许具有极好的道德品质，但他或她没有回应上帝的要求，并忽略这么伟大的救恩，这就足以作为不进行这种结合的理由了。不信一方的品格，可能象圣经上所提到的那个少年人一样，耶稣对他说：“你还缺少一件”（可10:21）；这一件却是必需的。?{CCh 121.2}[5]
§12
Those who profess the truth trample on the will of God in marrying unbelievers; they lose His favor and make bitter work for repentance. The unbelieving may possess an excellent moral character, but the fact that he or she has not answered to the claims of God and has neglected so great salvation is sufficient reason why such a union should not be consummated. The character of the unbelieving may be similar to that of the young man to whom Jesus addressed the words, “One thing thou lackest”; that was the one thing needful.?{CCh 121.2}[5]
§13
【二人若不同心，岂能同行呢？】
§14
往往有人为不信者辩护，说他对宗教素具好感，只差这一点——他不是基督徒，在其他各方面他都是一个理想的配偶。虽然信徒的更佳判断力可能提出与不信之人终身结合是不适宜的，但十之八九爱情会占上风。在坛旁宣誓的那一刻，属灵的堕落便开始了；宗教的热忱冷淡了，保障一个接一个地倒塌了，终于双方并肩立于撒但的黑旗之下。即使在婚宴之中，属世的精神也胜过了良知、信心和真理。在新家庭内，祈祷的时辰也不受重视了。新娘与新郎均已择定了对方，而将耶稣排挤出去了。{CCh 121.3}[6]
§15
【Can Two Walk Together Except They Be Agreed?】
§16
The plea is sometimes made that the unbeliever is favorable to religion and is all that could be desired in a companion except in one thing—he is not a Christian. Although the better judgment of the believer may suggest the impropriety of a union for life with an unbeliever, yet, in nine cases out of ten, inclination triumphs. Spiritual declension commences the moment the vow is made at the altar; religious fervor is dampened, and one stronghold after another is broken down, until both stand side by side under the black banner of Satan. Even in the festivities of the wedding the spirit of the world triumphs against conscience, faith, and truth. In the new home the hour of prayer is not respected. The bride and bridegroom have chosen each other and dismissed Jesus.?{CCh 121.3}[6]
§17
起初，不信的一方或许在这新的关系中不会表现出反对的态度，可是当圣经的真理被提出来作为注意和思考的题旨时，立刻就会出现这样的情绪：“你在和我结婚的时候，已经知道我是怎样的人，我不愿意受到搅扰。从今以后，你要明白，一切有关这种奇特见解的谈论，都请你免开尊口。”如果信的一方对于自己的信仰要表现特殊的热忱，在那对基督徒经验毫无兴趣的一方看来，就似乎是一种不体谅之举。{CCh 121.4}[7]
§18
At first the unbelieving one may make no show of opposition in the new relation; but when the subject of Bible truth is presented for attention and consideration, the feeling at once arises: “You married me, knowing that I was what I am; I do not wish to be disturbed. From henceforth let it be understood that conversation upon your peculiar views is to be interdicted.” If the believer should manifest any special earnestness in regard to his faith, it might seem like unkindness toward the one who has no interest in the Christian experience.?{CCh 121.4}[7]
§19
那信的一方声辩说，自己现在既与人有了新的关系，便应该对自己所选的配偶让步几分。于是就屈尊俯就交际及世俗的娱乐。在开始之时，或许觉得行这些事很是勉强，但到了后来，对于真理的兴趣就越变越少，不信及疑惑之念也就取代信心了。谁也不会猜想到，这位一度很坚固很忠直的信徒，虔诚的基督徒，竟会变成象现在那样疑惑摇动的人。唉，这就是不明智的婚姻所引起的改变啊！{CCh 121.5}[8]
§20
The believing one reasons that in his new relation he must concede somewhat to the companion of his choice. Social, worldly amusements?are patronized. At first there is great reluctance of feeling in doing this, but the interest in the truth becomes less and less, and faith is exchanged for doubt and unbelief. No one would have suspected that the once firm, conscientious believer and devoted follower of Christ could ever become the doubting, vacillating person that he now is. Oh, the change wrought by that unwise marriage!?{CCh 121.5}[8]
§21
与世俗结合是一件危险的事。撒但深知许多青年男女一旦结婚，就结束了他们的宗教经验和有为生涯。他们不再属于基督了。他们也许一时还要努力过基督徒的生活，但是他们的一切努力却被一种坚定的相反影响所抵消。他们曾一度有权且乐于述说自己的信心和希望，但不久他们就不愿意提到这个话题了，因为知道他们命运与共的终身伴侣对此不感兴趣。结果，对宝贵真理的信心从心中逐渐消失了，撒但就是这样阴险地在他们周围布下了怀疑的网罗。?{CCh 122.1}[9]
§22
It is a dangerous thing to form a worldly alliance. Satan well knows that the hour that witnesses the marriage of many young men and women closes the history of their religious experience and usefulness. They are lost to Christ. They may for a time make an effort to live a Christian life, but all their strivings are made against a steady influence in the opposite direction. Once it was a privilege and joy to them to speak of their faith and hope; but they become unwilling to mention the subject, knowing that the one with whom they have linked their destiny takes no interest in it. As the result, faith in the precious truth dies out of the heart, and Satan insidiously weaves about them a web of skepticism.?{CCh 122.1}[9]
§23
“二人若不同心，岂能同行呢”（摩3:3）？“若是你们中间有两个人在地上，同心合意地求什么事，我在天上的父，必为他们成全”（太18:19）。这两位关系如此亲密的人，当其中一位正专心灵修时，另一位却漠不关心；当其中一位正寻求永生之道时，另一位却走在通往死亡的宽路上。这是多么奇怪的现象啊！?{CCh 122.2}[10]
§24
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” “If two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of My Father which is in heaven.” But how strange the sight! While one of those so closely united is engaged in devotion, the other is indifferent and careless; while one is seeking the way to everlasting life, the other is in the broad road to death.?{CCh 122.2}[10]
§25
有成千成百的人因为与未悔改的人结婚，而牺牲了基督和天国。他们怎能把基督的爱与友谊看得那么轻，宁愿与可怜必死的世人结伴呢？难道天国是那样的没有价值，以致他们情愿失去其福乐，而与一个不爱宝贵救主的人结合吗？?{CCh 122.3}[11]
§26
Hundreds have sacrificed Christ and heaven in consequence of marrying unconverted persons. Can it be that the love and fellowship of Christ are of so little value to them that they prefer the companionship of poor mortals? Is heaven so little esteemed that they are willing to risk its enjoyments for one who has no love for the precious Saviour??{CCh 122.3}[11]
§27
【基督徒对不信者的回答】
§28
每一位基督徒在临到这种试炼的地步，要验明其宗教原则是否坚定之时，该如何行呢？他应当用值得效法的坚决态度坦白地说明：“我是一个有良心的基督徒。我相信每周的第七日是圣经的安息日。我们的信仰及原则是引导人走向相反方向的。我们在一起是不会幸福的，因为我若继续追求更完全地明白上帝的旨意，我就会变得越来越不象世界。如果你仍是看不出在基督里有什么可爱之处，在真理中有什么动人之点，那么，你就会爱我所不能爱的世界，同时我却会爱你所不能爱的属上帝的事。属灵的人才能看透属灵的事。没有属灵的眼光，你就看不出上帝对我的要求，也不明白我对于所事奉之主的义务；因此你必觉得我因宗教的本分而把你轻忽了。你不会快乐；你会妒忌，因为我把爱情献给上帝；同时我在宗教信仰上也会孤单。何时你改变眼光，何时你的心响应上帝的要求，并学会爱我的救主，然后我们的关系就可以重新开始。” ?{CCh 122.4}[12]
§29
【The Christian’s Answer to the Unbeliever】
§30
What ought every Christian to do when brought into the trying position which tests the soundness of religious principle? With a firmness worthy of imitation he should say frankly: “I am a conscientious Christian. I believe the seventh day of the week to be the Sabbath of the Bible. Our faith and principles are such that they lead in opposite directions. We cannot be happy together, for if I follow on to gain a more perfect knowledge of the will of God, I shall become more and more unlike the world and assimilated to the likeness of Christ. If you continue to see no loveliness in Christ, no attractions in the truth, you will love the world, which I cannot love, while I shall love the things of God, which you cannot love. Spiritual things are spiritually discerned. Without spiritual discernment you will be unable to see the claims of God upon me, or to realize my obligations to the Master whom I serve; therefore you will feel that I neglect you for religious duties. You will not be happy; you will be jealous on account of the affections which I give to God, and I shall be alone in my religious belief. When your views shall change, when your heart shall respond to the claims of God,?and you shall learn to love my Saviour, then our relationship may be renewed.”?{CCh 122.4}[12]
§31
信徒这样为基督牺牲，就必得到自己良心的嘉许，并要显明他是重看永生，而不愿冒丧失它的危险。他觉得宁可不结婚，也比将自己终生的福利与一位选择世界而不选择耶稣且会引他离开基督十字架的人相结合还好。?{CCh 123.1}[13]
§32
The believer thus makes a sacrifice for Christ which his conscience approves, and which shows that he values eternal life too highly to run the risk of losing it. He feels that it would be better to remain unmarried than to link his interest for life with one who chooses the world rather than Jesus, and who would lead away from the cross of Christ.?{CCh 123.1}[13]
§33
【宁可解除不智的婚约】
§34
婚约只有在基督里订立，才安全可靠。人的爱应当从上帝的爱中获得最紧密的关系。只有基督在人心中作主，人才会有深切、真诚和无私的爱。?{CCh 123.2}[14]
§35
【Better to Break an Unwise Engagement】
§36
It is only in Christ that a marriage alliance can be safely formed. Human love should draw its closest bonds from divine love. Only where Christ reigns can there be deep, true, unselfish affection.?{CCh 123.2}[14]
§37
但是如果你在还没有充分了解婚姻对象的品格之前就已订婚了，也不要以为你就非得履行婚约、与你所不敬不爱的人结合不可。订立婚约固然应该十分谨慎，但是与其象许多人那样在婚后分离，还不如在婚前解除婚约。{CCh 123.3}[15]
§38
Even if an engagement has been entered into without a full understanding of the character of the one with whom you intend to unite, do not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity for you to take upon yourself the marriage vow and link yourself for life to one whom you cannot love and respect. Be very careful how you enter into conditional engagements; but better, far better, break the engagement before marriage than separate afterward, as many do.?{CCh 123.3}[15]
§39
你或许会说：“我已经答应了，难道还要收回吗？”我的回答是，你的承诺如果与圣经相违，就当毫不犹豫地收回，并且在上帝面前要谦卑痛悔自己因意乱情迷而草率允诺。本着敬畏上帝的心收回这样的承诺，要胜过保持这样的承诺而羞辱你的创造主。{CCh 123.4}[16]
§40
You may say, “But I have given my promise, and shall I now retract it?” I answer, If you have made a promise contrary to the Scriptures, by all means retract it without delay, and in humility before God repent of the infatuation that led you to make so rash a pledge. Far better take back such a promise, in the fear of God, than keep it, and thereby dishonor your Maker.?{CCh 123.4}[16]
§41
订立婚约的每一步骤，都应审慎、简朴、真诚地进行，并抱着讨上帝喜悦和尊荣上帝的坚定宗旨。婚姻影响着今后的生活，不论在今生或是来世。一个真诚的基督徒决不会制定上帝所不赞同的任何计划。{CCh 123.5}[17]
§42
Let every step toward a marriage alliance be characterized by modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and an earnest purpose to please and honor God. Marriage affects the afterlife both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will make no plans that God cannot approve.?{CCh 123.5}[17]
§43
人心渴慕的人的爱情，但人的爱情不够坚强，不够纯洁，或者说不够宝贵，不足以代替耶稣的爱。作妻子的，只有从救主身上找到智慧，力量和恩典，才能应付人生的操劳，责任和忧虑。她应当以救主作为自己的力量和向导。但愿女子在委身于世上的朋友之前，应献身于基督，如果与此相违，就不要成亲。那些找寻真正幸福的人，必有天上的福气临到凡属于他们所有的和他们所做的一切事上。但那些不顺从上帝的人，必在他们心中或家庭里充满不幸。我的姐妹，你若不愿意有一个无法驱散阴影的家庭，就不要和那与上帝为敌的人结合。?{CCh 123.6}[18]
§44
The heart yearns for human love, but this love is not strong enough, or pure enough, or precious enough to supply the place of the love of Jesus. Only in her Saviour can the wife find wisdom, strength, and grace to meet the cares, responsibilities, and sorrows of life. She should make Him her strength and her guide. Let woman give herself to Christ before giving herself to any earthly friend, and enter into no relation which shall conflict with this. Those who would find true happiness must have the blessing of Heaven upon all that they possess and all that they do. It is disobedience to God that fills so many hearts and homes with misery. My sister, unless you would have a home where the shadows are never lifted, do not unite yourself with one who is an enemy of God.?{CCh 123.6}[18]
§45
【对婚后悔改之人的劝勉】
§46
那在悔改之前已经结了婚的人，悔改之后夫妻之间在宗教信仰方面虽有很大的距离，但信主的人有更大的责任要忠于他的配偶。可是他应该把上帝的要求放在任何地上的亲族关系之上，即使他遭受试炼和逼迫，也该如此。信主的丈夫或妻子的这种忠贞，再加上仁爱和温柔的态度，可能有感化力来争取那不信主的配偶。（AH 48, 49, 61-69）{CCh 123.7}[19]
§47
【Counsel to One Who Alone Becomes Converted After Marriage】
§48
He who has entered the marriage relation while unconverted is by his conversion placed under stronger obligation to be faithful to his?companion, however widely they may differ in regard to religious faith; yet the claims of God should be placed above every earthly relationship, even though trials and persecution may be the result. With the spirit of love and meekness, this fidelity may have an influence to win the unbelieving one.{CCh 123.7}[19]