第18章 终生伴侣的选择
§1
第18章 终生伴侣的选择
§2
Chap. 18—The Choosing of a Husband or Wife
§3
婚姻会影响你的今生与来世。一个真正的基督徒在尚未确知上帝的悦纳之前是不会实施这方面计划的。他不会自作选择，而相信上帝会为他选择的。我们不是要讨自己的喜欢，因为基督也不是讨自己喜悦的。我并不说人要与他所不爱的人结合。这样做就是罪了。但是我们决不可让幻想和情感引到灭亡的地步。上帝所要的是全心全意的爱和高尚的情感。?{CCh 112.1}[1]
§4
Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want to choose for himself, but will feel that God must choose for him. We are not to please ourselves, for Christ pleased not Himself. I would not be understood to mean that anyone is to marry one whom he does not love. This would be sin. But fancy and the emotional nature must not be allowed to lead on to ruin. God requires the whole heart, the supreme affections.?{CCh 112.1}[1]
§5
凡打算结婚的人应当考虑他们所要建立之家庭的性质和影响。他们做了父母之后，就要负起神圣的责任。儿女今生的利益和来生的幸福，在很大的程度上有赖于他们。儿童所接受身体和道德方面的印记，也大都取决于他们。社会的状况，由家庭的性质决定。家庭的影响将左右社会的天秤。?{CCh 112.2}[2]
§6
Those who are contemplating marriage should consider what will be the character and influence of the home they are founding. As they become parents, a sacred trust is committed to them. Upon them depends in a great measure the well-being of their children in this world, and their happiness in the world to come. To a great extent they determine both the physical and the moral stamp that the little ones receive. And upon the character of the home depends the condition of society; the weight of each family’s influence will tell in the upward or the downward scale.?{CCh 112.2}[2]
§7
青年基督徒在择友和选择伴侣的问题上应当十分谨慎。要小心,免得你以为是纯金的东西,结果竟是劣质的金属。世俗的交往会在你事奉上帝的道路上设置障碍。许多人因为在事业或婚姻上与决不能高尚的人结合而致败亡。{CCh 112.3}[3]
§8
Great care should be taken by Christian youth in the formation of friendships and in the choice of companions. Take heed, lest what you now think to be pure gold turns out to be base metal. Worldly associations tend to place obstructions in the way of your service to God, and many souls are ruined by unhappy unions, either business or matrimonial, with those who can never elevate or ennoble.?{CCh 112.3}[3]
§9
你要权衡将作你终身伴侣之人的的各样情操和其性格的每一倾向。你所要采取的步骤是一生中最重要的一步，决不可操之过急。你可以恋爱，但不要盲目恋爱。?{CCh 112.4}[4]
§10
Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to link your life destiny. The step you are about to take is one of the most important in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do not love blindly.?{CCh 112.4}[4]
§11
要慎重考虑一下你婚后的生活将会是幸福的呢，还是不和谐和糟糕的呢？要想到以下的问题：这样的结合能帮助我行走天路吗？会不会增进我对上帝的爱呢？会不会扩大我今生的用途呢？这些考虑都没有什么问题了，你再本着敬畏上帝的心采取行动。?{CCh 112.5}[5]
§12
Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy or inharmonious and wretched. Let the questions be raised, Will this union help me heavenward? Will it increase my love for God? And will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God move forward.?{CCh 112.5}[5]
§13
终身伴侣的选择应当最有利于父母和儿女的德育、智育和体育，使父母和儿女都能造福同胞，荣耀他们的创造主。?{CCh 112.6}[6]
§14
The choice of a life companion should be such as best to secure physical, mental, and spiritual well-being for parents and for their children—such as will enable both parents and children to bless their fellow men and to honor their Creator.?{CCh 112.6}[6]
§15
【未来的妻子应有的资格】
§16
青年男子要追求能与他分担人生的担子，提高和陶炼他的情操，并用她的爱使他快乐的女子作为他永久的配偶。?{CCh 113.1}[7]
§17
【Qualities to Be Sought in a Prospective Wife】
§18
Let a young man seek one to stand by his side who is fitted to bear her share of life’s burdens, one whose influence will ennoble and refine him, and who will make him happy in her love.?{CCh 113.1}[7]
§19
“贤德的妻，是耶和华所赐的”（箴19:14）。“她丈夫心里依靠她，……她一生使丈夫有益无损”（箴31:11,12）。“她开口，就发智慧；她舌上有仁慈的法则；她观察家务，并不吃闲饭。她的儿女起来称她有福；她的丈夫也称赞她，说：才德的女子很多，唯独你超过一切”（箴31:26-31）。“人若得着这样的妻子，便得着好处，也是蒙了耶和华的恩惠”（箴18:22）。?{CCh 113.2}[8]
§20
“A prudent wife is from the Lord.” “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her,” saying, “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.” He who gains such a wife “findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord.”?{CCh 113.2}[8]
§21
下面这些问题是你应当考虑的：你所要娶的人会给你的家带来幸福吗？她是个节俭的人呢，还是在她婚后会用光她自己和你的收入，来满足她的虚荣和打扮呢？她在这个方面的原则正确吗？她现在有所依靠吗？……我知道，对于一个沉迷于恋情、一心想着结婚的人说来，这些问题都将抛诸脑后，认为是无足轻重的。然而这些事却需要深思熟虑，因为它们会影响你未来的人生。{CCh 113.3}[9]
§22
Here are things which should be considered: Will the one you marry bring happiness to your home? Is [she] an economist, or will she, if married, not only use all her own earnings, but all of yours to gratify a vanity, a love of appearance? Are her principles correct in this direction? Has she anything now to depend upon?... I know that to the mind of a man infatuated with love and thoughts of marriage these questions will be brushed away as though they were of no consequence. But these things should be duly considered, for they have a bearing upon your future life.?{CCh 113.3}[9]
§23
你在选择妻子的时候要了解她的品格。她忍耐勤劳吗？或者正当你的父母需要一个强有力的儿子作为依靠时，她会不再照顾他们吗？她会不会勉强他与亲人分离，实行她的计划，满足她的心愿，撇下他的父母，使他们既得不到一个孝顺的儿媳，更失去一个儿子呢？?{CCh 113.4}[10]
§24
In your choice of a wife study her character. Will she be one who will be patient and painstaking? Or will she cease to care for your mother and father at the very time when they need a strong son to lean upon? And will she withdraw him from their society to carry out her plans and to suit her own pleasure, and leave the father and mother who, instead of gaining an affectionate daughter, will have lost a son??{CCh 113.4}[10]
§25
【未来的丈夫应有的资格】
§26
每一个女子在答应婚事以前，应当调查一下她所要结合的对象是否与她相配？他过去的为人如何？他的生活是否纯洁？他的示爱是出于高尚的动机，还是出于感情上的喜好？他有没有使她幸福的品质？从他的爱中能否得到真正的平安与喜乐？她是否能被允许保留自己的个性，或是须将自己的判断与良心都交给丈夫控制？……她能尊救主的要求为至上吗？她的身体，灵性，思想和意志能保持清白圣洁吗？这些问题对于每一位准备结婚之女子的幸福是关系重大的。{CCh 113.5}[11]
§27
【Qualities to Be Sought in a Prospective Husband】
§28
Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy. What has been his past record? Is his life pure? Is the love which he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness? Has he the traits of character that will make her happy? Can she find true peace and joy in his affection? Will she be allowed to preserve her individuality, or must her judgment and conscience be surrendered to the control of her husband? ... Can she honor the Saviour’s claims as supreme? Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy? These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage relation.?{CCh 113.5}[11]
§29
凡希望获得平安快乐的婚姻，避免将来不幸和悲伤的女子，应在献出自己的爱情之前，了解对方的母亲是否健在？她的品性如何？他是否认识到对于母亲的责任？能否关心她的愿望和幸福？如果他不孝敬自己的母亲，又如何能向她的妻子表现尊重，爱心，仁慈和关怀呢？新婚的兴奋过去之后，他还会依然爱我吗？他能宽容我的过失，还是会吹毛求疵，蛮横无理地对待我呢？真正的爱情能忽视许多过失，因为爱是不计较过错的。{CCh 113.6}[12]
§30
Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who would escape future misery and sorrow, inquire before she yields her affections, Has my lover a mother? What is the stamp of her character? Does he recognize his obligations to her? Is he mindful of her wishes and?happiness? If he does not respect the honor his mother, will he manifest respect and love, kindness and attention, toward his wife? When the novelty of marriage is over, will he love me still? Will he be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and dictatorial? True affection will overlook many mistakes; love will not discern them.?{CCh 113.6}[12]
§31
青年女子要在这样的指导下，只接受那纯洁，刚强，勤劳，有志气，诚实，爱上帝并敬畏上帝的人作为她终生的伴侣。?{CCh 114.1}[13]
§32
Let a young woman accept as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one who is diligent, aspiring, and honest, one who loves and fears God.?{CCh 114.1}[13]
§33
你当避免与那些不敬虔的人交往。你当远离游手好闲的人；避开嘲笑圣洁事物的人。你当避免与说亵渎话的人，或贪杯嗜饮，即使是只饮一盅半盏的人交往。不可接受那不认识自己对上帝负有责任之男子的求爱。那能使心灵圣化的纯正真理，必给予你勇气，与那可能最讨人喜爱的，但你明知他不爱也不敬畏上帝、不知道真正公义原理的熟人绝交。我们可以总是宽容朋友的软弱与无知，但绝不可宽容他的恶习。?{CCh 114.2}[14]
§34
Shun those who are irreverent. Shun one who is a lover of idleness; shun the one who is a scoffer of hallowed things. Avoid the society of one who uses profane language, or is addicted to the use of even one glass of liquor. Listen not to the proposals of a man who has no realization of his responsibility to God. The pure truth which sanctifies the soul will give you courage to cut yourself loose from the most pleasing acquaintance whom you know does not love and fear God, and knows nothing of the principles of true righteousness. We may always bear with a friend’s infirmities and with his ignorance, but never with his vices.?{CCh 114.2}[14]
§35
【爱是耶稣的宝贵恩赐】
§36
爱是一种宝贵的恩赐，是我们从耶稣那里领受的。纯洁圣善的爱情不是一种感觉，而是一种原则。凡心中存有真诚之爱的人，决不会盲目冲动。?{CCh 114.3}[15]
§37
【Love Is a Precious Gift From Jesus】
§38
Love is a precious gift, which we receive from Jesus. Pure and holy affection is not a feeling, but a principle. Those who are actuated by true love are neither unreasonable nor blind.?{CCh 114.3}[15]
§39
世界上很少有真实、专诚、纯洁的爱。这种宝贵的爱非常罕见。人们把情欲当成了爱。?{CCh 114.4}[16]
§40
There is but little real, genuine, devoted, pure love. This precious article is very rare. Passion is termed love.?{CCh 114.4}[16]
§41
真的爱心是一种高尚圣洁的原则，其性质与那由于感情冲动，一遇严格考验就会忽然消失的爱是完全不同的。?{CCh 114.5}[17]
§42
True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different in character from that love which is awakened by impulse, and which suddenly dies when severely tested.?{CCh 114.5}[17]
§43
爱是上天所栽培的植物，必须加以培育和养护。慈善的心肠，诚实而仁爱的言语，能使家庭幸福，并且对凡来到他们影响范围之内的人发挥一种提拔人心的感化力。?{CCh 114.6}[18]
§44
Love is a plant of heavenly growth, and it must be fostered and nourished. Affectionate hearts, truthful, loving words, will make happy families and exert an elevating influence upon all who come within the sphere of their influence.?{CCh 114.6}[18]
§45
纯洁的爱情在所有的计划中都寻求上帝的指导，与上帝的灵完全和谐；情欲则是顽梗，莽鲁，无理性和不服约束的，并以所选择的对象为偶像。凡拥有真正爱情的人，必在一切言行上表显出上帝的恩惠。凡拥有真正爱情的人，必在一切言行上表显出上帝的恩惠。在筹划结婚的每一个步骤中，他们都表显出节制、纯朴、真诚、道德与信仰。凡这样自制的人，必不会沉溺于相互的交往上，而对祈祷会和宗教服务失去兴趣。他们对真理的热情，不会因忽视上帝仁慈地赐予他们的机会和特权而消失。{CCh 114.7}[19]
§46
While pure love will take God into all its plans, and will be in perfect harmony with the Spirit of God, passion will be headstrong, rash, unreasonable, defiant of all restraint, and will make the object of its choice an idol. In all the deportment of one who possesses true love, the grace of God will be shown. Modesty, simplicity, sincerity, morality, and religion will characterize every step toward an alliance in marriage. Those who are thus controlled will not be absorbed in each other’s society, at a loss of interest in the prayer meeting and the religious service. Their fervor for the truth will not die on account of the neglect of the opportunities and privileges that God has graciously given to them.?{CCh 114.7}[19]
§47
那种仅以肉欲的满足为基础的爱必是刚愎、盲目、无法控制的。尊荣、真实和心智的每一高尚能力都成了情欲的奴隶。被这种迷恋所捆绑的人往往听不见理智和良心的声音；争辩和恳劝也不能使他看出自己的行径是愚妄的。?{CCh 114.8}[20]
§48
That love which has no better foundation than mere sensual gratification will be headstrong, blind, and uncontrollable. Honor, truth, and every noble, elevated power of the mind are brought under the slavery of passions. The man who is bound in the chains of this infatuation is?too often deaf to the voice of reason and conscience; neither argument nor entreaty can lead him to see the folly of his course.?{CCh 114.8}[20]
§49
真实的爱并不是一种强烈，火热，急迫的感情冲动；相反，其本质乃是恬静而深刻的。它以质胜华，超乎外表之外。它乃是聪明而善于判别的，它的精诚也是真切而长存的。?{CCh 115.1}[21]
§50
True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. On the contrary, it is calm and deep in its nature. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding.?{CCh 115.1}[21]
§51
超越了狂热和冲动的爱可以使内心得到洁净，并在言语和行为之上洋溢出来。基督徒必须拥有一种圣洁的温柔和爱心，内心没有不耐烦或者烦躁不安；粗鲁和粗暴的作风必须被基督的恩典所缓解。{CCh 115.2}[22]
§52
Love, lifted out of the realm of passion and impulse, becomes spiritualized, and is revealed in words and acts. A Christian must have a sanctified tenderness and love in which there is no impatience or fretfulness; the rude, harsh manners must be softened by the grace of Christ.?{CCh 115.2}[22]
§53
【需要通过祈祷和读经来作出正确的决定】
§54
婚姻是上帝所设立的神圣礼节，不可怀着自私的精神进行。凡考虑结婚的人，要严肃虔诚地思考它的重要性，并寻求上帝的引导，以了解他们所采取的行动是否符合上帝的旨意。要仔细考虑圣经就这一问题所赐的教训。上天必嘉许凡诚心遵从圣经指示而缔结的婚姻。婚姻的问题需要以冷静的理智和平静的判断来加以考虑。在采取结婚的步骤之前，要以圣经作为顾问。但是人们在这件事上一般都为感情所左右。许多时候，恋情主宰了人的思想，把人带到注定败亡的地步。青年人在这个问题上，往往比在其他事情上更少表现出智慧，也不肯更为理性。婚姻问题对他们似乎有一种特殊的魅力。他们没有把自己交给上帝。他们的理性为感情所胜。他们秘密行事，唯恐有人来干涉他们的计划。{CCh 115.3}[23]
§55
【Prayer and Bible Study Necessary to Make the Right Decision】
§56
Instituted by God, marriage is a sacred ordinance and should never be entered upon in a spirit of selfishness. Those who contemplate this step should solemnly and prayerfully consider its importance and seek divine counsel that they may know whether they are pursuing a course in harmony with the will of God. The instruction given in God’s word on this point should be carefully considered. Heaven looks with pleasure upon a marriage formed with an earnest desire to conform to the directions given in the Scripture. If there is any subject that should be considered with calm reason and unimpassioned judgment, it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counselor, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life. But the prevailing sentiment is that in this matter the feelings are to be the guide, and in too many cases lovesick sentimentalism takes the helm and guides to certain ruin. It is here that the youth show less intelligence than on any other subject; it is here that they refuse to be reasoned with. The question of marriage seems to have a bewitching power over them. They do not submit themselves to God. Their senses are enchained, and they move forward in secretiveness, as if fearful that their plans would be interfered with by someone.?{CCh 115.3}[23]
§57
不少人正在驶入危险的港口。他们很需要一位领港人。但他们却不屑于接受这个极需要的帮助，自以为有能力驾驶自己的船，却不知道这只船将会撞在暗礁之上，致使信心与幸福的丧失。……他们若不殷勤研究圣经，就会铸成大错，危害自己和他人的今生和来世的幸福。?{CCh 115.4}[24]
§58
Many are sailing in a dangerous harbor. They need a pilot; but they scorn to accept the much-needed help, feeling that they are competent to guide their own bark, and not realizing that it is about to strike a hidden rock that may cause them to make shipwreck of faith and happiness.... Unless they are diligent students of that Word [the Bible], they will make grave mistakes which will mar their happiness and that of others, both for the present and the future life.?{CCh 115.4}[24]
§59
男女青年在考虑婚事之前，若习惯于一日两次祷告的，就要在准备结婚的时候一日四次祷告。婚姻会影响你的今生与来世。……?{CCh 115.5}[25]
§60
If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come....?{CCh 115.5}[25]
§61
我们这个时代的大多数婚姻，以及举办婚事的方式，构成了末世的征兆之一。人们固执又刚硬，把上帝置之度外，把宗教撇在一边，好像它与这件严肃的大事无关似的。?{CCh 115.6}[26]
§62
The majority of the marriages of our time and the way in which they are conducted make them one of the signs of the last days. Men and women are so persistent, so headstrong, that God is left out of the?question. Religion is laid aside, as if it had no part to act in this solemn and important matter.?{CCh 115.6}[26]
§63
【请教敬畏上帝的父母】
§64
婚姻既然导致了那么多的不幸，为什么青年人不聪明一点呢？为什么他们依然认为不需要年长而更富有经验之人的指导呢？在事业方面，无论男女都表现得十分慎重。在从事任何重要的事业之前，他们都要进行准备，为此而付出时间、金钱，进行周密的考虑，惟恐他们的事业失败。{CCh 116.1}[27]
§65
【The Counsel of God-fearing Parents】
§66
When so much misery results from marriage, why will not the youth be wise? Why will they continue to feel that they do not need the counsel of older and more experienced persons? In business, men and women manifest great caution. Before engaging in any important enterprise, they prepare themselves for their work. Time, money, and much careful study are devoted to the subject, lest they shall make a failure in their undertaking.{CCh 116.1}[27]
§67
鉴于婚姻的关系影响到后代与来生，在建立这种关系的时候，岂不更加慎重吗？但事实上人们往往草率而轻薄，凭着冲动和情欲，未经冷静的思考就盲目成婚。这种现象的唯一解释，是因为撒但乐于见到世上充满痛苦和败坏，故设下这样的网罗以陷害生灵。他喜欢让这班考虑不周的人丧失了今生的快乐和来世的家园。{CCh 116.2}[28]
§68
How much greater caution should be exercised in entering the marriage relation—a relation which affects future generations and the future life? Instead of this, it is often entered upon with jest and levity, impulse and passion, blindness and lack of calm consideration. The only explanation of this is that Satan loves to see misery and ruin in the world, and he weaves this net to entangle souls. He rejoices to have these inconsiderate persons lose their enjoyment of this world and their home in the world to come.?{CCh 116.2}[28]
§69
作儿女的难道都只顾自己的意愿与爱好，而不顾父母的劝告和意见吗？有些人似乎从来没有考虑他们父母的意图和愿望，也不重视他们成熟的判断。自私的意愿杜绝了他们孝敬父母的心思。我们应当提醒青年人注意这件事。第五诫是唯一带应许的诫命，却遭到了轻视，甚至因恋人的意愿而完全被置之不理。许多青年记录在案的的罪，就是轻视母亲的爱和不尊重父亲的关怀。{CCh 116.3}[29]
§70
Shall children consult only their own desires and inclinations irrespective of the advice and judgment of their parents? Some seem never to bestow a thought upon their parents’ wishes or preferences, nor to regard their matured judgment. Selfishness has closed the door of their hearts to filial affection. The minds of the young need to be aroused in regard to this matter. The fifth commandment is the only commandment to which is annexed a promise, but it is held lightly and is even positively ignored by the lover’s claim. Slighting a mother’s love, dishonoring a father’s care are sins that stand registered against many youth.?{CCh 116.3}[29]
§71
与这个问题有关的最大错误之一，就是对于年轻无经验之人的恋爱不闻不问，对他们的爱情经历不加干涉。其实这个问题最需要处处留意。借鉴他人的经验和冷静仔细的权衡是极其重要的。可是大多数人对这个问题却过于疏忽了。青年朋友们，你们要以上帝和敬畏上帝的父母作为你的顾问，要为这件事情祷告。{CCh 116.4}[30]
§72
One of the greatest errors connected with this subject is that the young and inexperienced must not have their affections disturbed, that there must be no interference in their love experience. If there ever was a subject that needed to be viewed from every standpoint, it is this. The aid of the experience of others and a calm, careful weighing of the matter on both sides are positively essential. It is a subject that is treated altogether too lightly by the great majority of people. Take God and your God-fearing parents into your counsel, young friends. Pray over the matter.?{CCh 116.4}[30]
§73
你问道：“父母应该为儿女选择伴侣而不尊重其意见或感情吗？”我把应该提的问题告诉你：儿女选择伴侣难道不应先请教父母吗？这一步在实质上影响到爱子女的父母的幸福。儿女岂能不顾父母的忠告和恳劝，一意孤行呢？第五条诫命禁止这种做法。“当孝敬父母，使你的日子在耶和华你上帝所赐你的地上得以长久”（出20:12）。这是一条带应许的诫命，主必向那些顺从这条诫命的人实现其应许。明智的父母决不会在为自己的儿女选择伴侣时不尊重他们的意见。?{CCh 116.5}[31]
§74
“Should parents,” you ask, “select a companion without regard to the mind or feelings of son or daughter?” I put the question to you as it should be: Should a son or daughter select a companion without first consulting the parents, when such a step must materially affect the happiness of parents if they have any affection for their children? And should that child, notwithstanding the counsel and entreaties of his parents, persist in following his own course? I answer decidedly: No; not if he never marries. The fifth commandment forbids such a course. “Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the?land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Here is a commandment with a promise which the Lord will surely fulfill to those who obey. Wise parents will never select companions for their children without respect to their wishes.?{CCh 116.5}[31]
§75
父母应当觉得自己负有责任引导青年人把爱情寄托在那能作他们合适配偶的人身上。父母应当用自己的教训和榜样，藉着上帝恩典的帮助，从儿女幼年的时候就下手塑造他们的品格，使他们成为纯洁高尚的青年，并能与其他良善真诚的青年心心相印。因为人总是同声相应，同气相求的。务要在青年人心中及早培养喜爱真理、纯洁和良善的美德，以后他们就自然会与那些具有这些特性的人结交了。?{CCh 117.1}[32]
§76
Fathers and mothers should feel that a duty devolves upon them to guide the affections of the youth, that they may be placed upon those who will be suitable companions. They should feel it a duty, by their own teaching and example, with the assisting grace of God, to so mold the character of the children from their earliest years that they will be pure and noble and will be attracted to the good and true. Like attracts like; like appreciates like. Let the love for truth and purity and goodness be early implanted in the soul, and the youth will seek the society of those who possess these characteristics.?{CCh 117.1}[32]
§77
【对正在考虑结婚之人的告戒】
§78
青年人太相信感情的冲动了。他们不应轻易决定自己的终生大事，也不应太容易被恋人动人的外表所迷惑。现代的恋爱方式，有其欺骗伪善的一面，与人类的仇敌有关，而与上帝无关。在这个问题上，非常需要理性，但人们做事却很少出于理性。?{CCh 117.2}[33]
§79
【Cautions to Those Contemplating Marriage】
§80
The youth trust altogether too much to impulse. They should not give themselves away too easily, nor be captivated too readily by the winning exterior of the lover. Courtship as carried on in this age is a scheme of deception and hypocrisy, with which the enemy of souls has far more to do than the Lord. Good common sense is needed here if anywhere; but the fact is, it has little to do in the matter.?{CCh 117.2}[33]
§81
应该象提防大麻风一样提防不健康的相思之情。现代的许多青年男女都缺乏美德，所以需要非常小心。?{CCh 117.3}[34]
§82
Imagination, lovesick sentimentalism, should be guarded against as would be the leprosy. Very many of the young men and women in this age of the world are lacking in virtue; therefore great caution is needed.?{CCh 117.3}[34]
§83
在这个时代，青年人的宗教经验中搀杂着许多这种低下的情感主义。我的姐妹，上帝要求你得以改变。我恳劝你提高自己的情操。将你的智力和体力奉献于侍奉你的救赎主，祂已赎买了你。你的思想感情都要圣化，好使你所有的行为都是在上帝里面行的。?{CCh 117.4}[35]
§84
There is much of this low sentimentalism mingled with the religious experience of the young in this age of the world. My sister, God requires you to be transformed. Elevate your affections, I implore you. Devote your mental and physical powers to the service of your Redeemer, who has bought you. Sanctify your thoughts and feelings that all your works may be wrought in God.?{CCh 117.4}[35]
§85
撒但的使者正在窥探那些彻夜谈爱的人。如果他们能睁开眼睛，就可看见有一位天使在记录他们的言行。他们违犯了健康与端庄的律。婚前恋爱的这些时辰，本来更适合于用在婚后的生活中。然而通常的情况下，结婚却结束了恋爱期间所表现的一切激情。?{CCh 117.5}[36]
§86
Satan’s angels are keeping watch with those who devote a large share of the night to courting. Could they have their eyes opened, they would see an angel making a record of their words and acts. The laws of health and modesty are violated. It would be more appropriate to let some of the hours of courtship before marriage run through the married life. But as a general thing, marriage ends all the devotion manifested during the days of courtship.?{CCh 117.5}[36]
§87
撒但十分熟悉他所诱惑的对象。他千方百计地用他邪恶的智慧引诱人灭亡。他关注着人所采取的每一个步骤，并提供许多建议。人们往往采纳这些建议，而不接受上帝圣言的劝导。这个精细编织的危险罗网，正准备去网住一些年轻而不提防的人。罗网上往往罩上光明的外衣。凡被网住的人，终必因重重忧伤而心碎肠断，结果我们到处看到有人沉沦。{CCh 117.6}[37]
§88
Satan knows just what elements he has to deal with, and he displays his infernal wisdom in various devices to entrap souls to their ruin. He watches every step that is taken, and makes many suggestions, and often these suggestions are followed rather than the counsel of God’s word. This finely woven, dangerous net is skillfully prepared to entangle the young and unwary. It may often be disguised under a covering of light; but those who become its victims pierce themselves through?with many sorrows. As the result, we see wrecks of humanity everywhere.?{CCh 117.6}[37]
§89
【不当之举】
§90
在圣洁的上帝看来，玩弄感情决不是小罪。然而仍有一些人向年轻的女子示爱，等引起她们的爱情之后，便弃之不顾，将他们所说过的话和所有的影响，全都忘得一干二净。一副新面孔吸引了他们，他们便重述那一套话，又向另一个人献同样的殷勤了。?{CCh 118.1}[38]
§91
【Improper Conduct】
§92
To trifle with hearts is a crime of no small magnitude in the sight of a holy God. And yet some will show preference for young ladies and call out their affections, and then go their way and forget all about the words they have spoken and their effect. A new face attracts them, and they repeat the same words, devote to another the same attentions.?{CCh 118.1}[38]
§93
这样的本性将在婚后生活中显露出来。婚姻的关系也未必能使善变的心稳定，或使动摇的人坚贞而忠于原则。他们对持守不变的爱厌倦了；不圣洁的思想也就从他们不圣洁的行为上暴露出来了。因此，青年人约束他们的思想，谨慎他们的行为，使撒但不能引诱他们偏离正路，这是多么重要啊！ {CCh 118.2}[39]
§94
This disposition will reveal itself in the married life. The marriage relation does not always make the fickle mind firm, the wavering steadfast and true to principle. They tire of constancy, and unholy thoughts will manifest themselves in unholy actions. How essential it is, then, that the youth so gird up the loins of their mind and guard their conduct that Satan cannot beguile them from the path of uprightness.?{CCh 118.2}[39]
§95
一个男青年与一个女青年来往交友，却背着她的父母，他就没有对她的父母履行高尚的基督徒本分。通过秘密的来往和约会，他可以赢得姑娘的芳心，但是他这样做，没有表现出上帝的儿女所应有的高贵与正直。为了达到自己的目的，他们没有光明磊落地按圣经的标准行事，这就表明他们对那些爱他们并忠实监护他们的人不诚实。在这样的情况之下，他们订立的婚约是不符合圣经的。人若引诱一个女子离开本分，使她对孝敬父母的上帝明令模糊不清，他也就不会忠实于婚姻的义务了。?{CCh 118.3}[40]
§96
A young man who enjoys the society and wins the friendship of a young lady unbeknown to her parents does not act a noble Christian part toward her or toward her parents. Through secret communications and meetings he may gain an influence over her mind, but in so doing he fails to manifest that nobility and integrity of soul which every child of God will possess. In order to accomplish their ends, they act a part that is not frank and open and according to the Bible standard, and prove themselves untrue to those who love them and try to be faithful guardians over them. Marriages contracted under such influences are not according to the word of God. He who would lead a daughter away from duty, who would confuse her ideas of God’s plain and positive commands to obey and honor her parents, is not one who would be true to the marriage obligations.?{CCh 118.3}[40]
§97
“不可偷盗”是上帝用手指写在石版上的。但是有许多人偷窃爱情却受到了原谅。这种秘密的恋爱和私下的交往一直继续下去，直到那毫无经验，不知后果的女子把感情从父母身上转移到那个倾心于她的男子身上；而这男子所采取的行径，本身已表明他不值得她爱。圣经谴责一切不诚实的行为。{CCh 118.4}[41]
§98
“Thou shalt not steal” was written by the finger of God upon the tables of stone, yet how much underhand stealing of affections is practiced and excused! A deceptive courtship is maintained, private communications are kept up, until the affections of one who is inexperienced, and knows not whereunto these things may grow, are in a measure withdrawn from her parents and placed upon him who shows by the very course he pursues that he is unworthy of her love. The Bible condemns every species of dishonesty.?{CCh 118.4}[41]
§99
一些自命为基督徒的人，品行虽然端方，在其他问题上似乎也很聪明，但在婚事上却铸成大错，表显出不可理喻的固执和倔强的意志。他们被人的感情和冲动所支配，不愿意查考圣经，与上帝保持密切的联系。妇女贞洁的保障一旦撤去，最卑劣的淫荡行为也就不再显为罪大恶极了。今天世上可以看到妇女为恶的影响已产生了多么可怕的后果！千万人因“淫妇”的诱惑而陷身囹圄，许多人自戕其生，许多人残害了别人的性命。灵感之言是多么真实：“她的脚下入死地，她脚步踏住阴间”（箴5:5）。{CCh 118.5}[42]
§100
Professed Christians, whose lives are marked with integrity, and who seem sensible upon every other subject, make fearful mistakes here. They manifest a set, determined will that reason cannot change. They become so fascinated with human feelings and impulses that they have no desire to search the Bible and come into close relationship with God. When once the barriers of female modesty are removed, the basest licentiousness does not appear exceeding sinful. Alas, what terrible results of woman’s influence for evil may be witnessed in the world today! Through the allurements of “strange?women,” thousands are incarcerated in prison cells, many take their own lives, and many cut short the lives of others. How true the words of Inspiration, “Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.”?{CCh 118.5}[42]
§101
在人生的旅程中，处处设有警标，防止人接近危险的禁地。虽然如此，仍有无数的人违背理智的指示，不顾上帝的律法，蔑视祂的报应，选择了致命的道路。{CCh 119.1}[43]
§102
Beacons of warning are placed on every side in the pathway of life to prevent men from approaching the dangerous, forbidden ground; but, notwithstanding this, multitudes choose the fatal path, contrary to the dictates of reason, regardless of God’s law, and in defiance of His vengeance.{CCh 119.1}[43]
§103
凡希望保持健康的身体，敏锐的智力和完美道德的人，都必须“逃避少年人的私欲。”凡决心全力制止在我们中间趾高气扬横行无忌之邪恶之人，都会被一切犯罪之徒所憎恨所埋怨，但他们却必为上帝所器重所厚赏。（AH 43-57, 70-75）?{CCh 119.2}[44]
§104
Those who would preserve physical health, a vigorous intellect, and sound morals must “flee ... youthful lusts.” Those who will put forth zealous and decided efforts to check the wickedness that lifts its bold, presumptuous head in our midst are hated and maligned by all wrongdoers, but they will be honored and recompensed of God.{CCh 119.2}[44]